JWOW

Personal Best Is Best

by Miriam Hendeles

this morning, my husband came into the house huffing and puffing. He’d just completed his daily run around our neighborhood, and as he’s trying to catch up on many months of lack of exercise, he was a bit out of breath. But, as he told me, he increases his speed each day and even times himself so that he knows he’s improving over time.

When my oldest son was in high school, “personal best” was a popular phrase. An athlete’s personal best is beating the score relative to what he or she has achieved most recently. In those days as mom of teenagers, personal best was something softer and more achievable. It was language used for teachers and parents to encourage students to work their hardest to do their own best, without competing with others. I appreciated the term because it aligned with my philosophy of children not feeling the need to always be the best and the brightest at all costs. After all, in life, we each have our unique strengths, and if we are growing in our own pace, that’s just fine. Competition has its place, but when our lives become engulfed with feelings of always having to be on the top, it becomes unhealthy.

These past few years, more than any other, “personal best” has been my motto. Getting through 2020, and subsequently 2021, could not be a competition. With all the challenges we had with the virus spreading and the dilemmas regarding traveling, education, and shopping, I found that doing “my own thing” worked for me. More than ever, it didn’t matter what everyone else was doing; it mattered what worked for me.

For example, if others stayed home from dawn to dusk and never went out

in fear of the virus, I didn’t necessarily follow that choice. And that was just fine.

If others appeared more relaxed and traveled or went out more than I did, that wasn’t my concern. What worked for me, as my “personal best,” was to stay home most of the day and go out for the few errands that I needed for essential items.

In other years, I’d be hard on myself regarding improving my music, writing, spiritual, health and so forth. These past few years, good enough was good enough. I worked at improving my skills and achieving goals but not with the same pressure I’ve had in previous years. With more time at home to reflect and relax (yes, COVID had its perks!), I had time to introspect and breathe.

Maybe the fact that we spent so much time at home without socializing much

helped me focus on my own goals without comparing to others. The bar was lowered for me because I didn’t have an external report card to worry about. And when I did choose to keep busy with piano and harp lessons, or writing classes, or health webinars, or ZOOM sessions with work peers, family, or classes, my focus was on enjoying myself more than achieving any particular long-term goals.

To be able to say that I kept up any form of exercise is huge for me. Pilates once a week? No. Swimming every day of every week? No. Walking every day of every week? No. But I was conscious of it, and I did those activities as much as I was able to – and that’s a good thing. That’s my personal best for now.

So what’s in store for the rest of 2022? Do I increase the bar? Do I increase expectations for myself and raise the bar?

The short answer? Yes. The long answer? Who knows…because if 2020 and 2021 taught us anything about life, it’s that we don’t know what tomorrow may bring.

What I do know is that I’ve lined up some classes for myself, both spiritually and emotionally. I’ve set up online Zooms to learn mindfulness and setting goals. I’ve set up courses for studying spiritual lessons from Tehillim. And I hope that through all these behavior changes day by day, I will achieve my personal best.

One day at a time. In 2022 and beyond.

After all, in life, we each have our unique strengths, and if we are growing in our own pace, that’s just fine.