November 19—November 25, 2015
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R O R TER IS R A P IN
42
RNSP Meets with Nassau County Top Executives
72
Blue Ribbon Honors Presented to Rambam in Washington, D.C
66
Teens Find Joy in Writing at Levi Yitzchak Library’s Newest Initiative
PAGE 54
France Vows to Fight Back pg
102
Dinner for Five Thousand Plus, Please!
Filling their Bellies, Warming their Souls
How Chabad Prepares for the Annual Kinus Shluchim
Showing the IDF that We Care
pg Page 49 PAGE 24
PAGE 40
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Dear Readers,
S
ometimes the face of evil is so stark, so naked, that it’s hard not to recoil at its ugliness. Last week’s attacks in Paris were evil – cruel and sadistic. They were perpetrated by bloodthirsty murderers who kill in the name of their religion. One witness said that he saw the face of one of the terrorists and although he looked young, his eyes were empty, hollow, and frightening. It wasn’t the face of a madman; it was the countenance of someone whose deepest desire was to inflict pain, suffering and mass murder. That is evil. Throughout history, evil has reared its head but the face is not always the same. Just a few decades ago, it looked like the Nazis; a few years earlier it was the Cossacks; and before that it was the Crusades. We can never understand how such evil can exist. We can never understand how people can justify and enjoy killing. One thing we can understand and believe is that history has proven time and time again that evil does not prevail. Yes, evil is frightening and it is powerful – but up to a point. We know that there will come a time when this evil will be destroyed and we hope that we will see that time soon.
The world was created with two opposing, equal forces. Evil has its adversary in Good. Although evil may scream from the headlines and seems to make the loudest noise, Good is just as powerful. But Good is not as loud. It whispers as it helps others, cares for others, comforts others. It softly tiptoes as it brings happiness and joy and contentment. But despite its gentleness, it is strong. And yes, we believe it will ultimately be the force that will see victory in the end. I think that in the wake of terror it is easy to point fingers and pontificate on what needs to be done. Most of us, though, are not the ones who will decide to bomb our enemies, bring them to trial, or raze their homes. But we can quietly, softly bring more Good into the world. We can care for one another and reach out to each other. We can become more thoughtful, more considerate, more understanding. We have the power to make Good even stronger. On Chanukah, we see that a little light can illuminate a whole room. When we do Good we can hopefully brighten the world. Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana
Yitzy Halpern PUBLISHER
publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Contents
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
8
COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll
8
Community Happenings
42 NEWS Global
13
National
25
Odd-but-True Stories
33
Terror in Paris by Susan Schwamm 102
134
ISRAEL Israel News
Filling their Bellies; Warming their Souls by Baila Rosenbaum
18 94
Smiling Through the Pain: A Conversation with Eli Borochov as He Heals 78 after a Terrorist Attack PEOPLE Remembering Yisroel Simcha Possick a”h
80
Yisroel Simcha Possick a”h: A Life of Giving
81
Dinner for Five Thousand Plus, Please! How Chabad Prepares for the Annual Kinus Shluchim by Malky Lowinger 98 Submarines: Ruling the Ocean’s Depths, Part III by Avi Heiligman
128
PARSHA Rabbi Wein
84
The Shmuz
85
JEWISH THOUGHT What Can I Do? by Rabbi Jonathan 86 Gewirtz
124
JEWISH HISTORY The Infamous Case of the “Get of Cleves,” Part I by Rabbi Pini Dunner 90 HALACHA
Birchas Habanim by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Leibovits
88
PARENTING How Parents Can Speak to Children of all Ages about Tragedy by Dr. Hylton Lightman 101 Anger, Part III by Rabbi Daniel Staum, LMSW
122
HEALTH & FITNESS Working with Teens – A Fourth Way by Deb Hirschhorn, PhD
124
Dear Editor, Your new dating dialogue column is a great twist on the generic shidduch columns that have been circulating in our community. I like how each person involved has their own perspective and adds their own insight into the question presented. Looking forward to reading next week’s question! A Reader Dear Editor, The media is up in arms about protesters at University of Missouri who are pouting that people aren’t paying attention to their “plight” after the horrific massacre in Paris last week. If anyone thought they were sincere about their situation, you can look at this to see that it’s all about petty, immature people trying to instigate and brew up controversy. These students were never told their place in life; they were never told that it’s not respectful to shout and castigate others just because you feel that you are slighted. Sadly, the way the college is handling it is showing these students that if they throw a tantrum, people will give into their demands. At some point they’ll have to join the real world and realize that life doesn’t – and shouldn’t – work that way. But I wanted to bring up another point. Prime Minister Netanyahu, when speaking about the tragic events in Paris last week, equated it with the terror going on in Israel. I agree with Netanyahu: terror is being perpetrat-
ed by terrorists in the Holy Land and 129 people were killed by terrorists in Paris. But I felt that his comments were distasteful. Didn’t his mother ever tell him that when someone is in pain you don’t bring up your painful circumstances? A person should listen, empathize, and extend sympathy. But don’t try to match your pain with theirs. That is not only not comforting; it is almost considered rude. Sincerely, Jay Bergstein Kew Gardens, NY Dear Editor, The attacks in Paris remind us that evil is alive in this world. Sadly, I feel that there are still those around us who are naïve – or maybe they wish that we can turn back time and go to a place when this type of evil did not exist. It’s important for us to be vigilant. You know the adage, “If you see something, say something.” It’s now more important than ever to do just that. In Israel, because they are unfortunately surrounded by those who hate them, they live their lives looking over their shoulders. And many attacks were thwarted because concerned citizens or authorities noticed something that didn’t look right. Now many presidential candidates are saying that the United States should only accept Christian refugees because terrorists around the world are generally Muslim. I think back to just a few decades ago when some of Continued on page 12
FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Shakshuka
116
LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LMSW
118
Show Me the Money! by Rabbi Mordechai Kruger
127
From My Private Art Collection
134
Your Money
140
You Say Tomato, You Say Tomahto… by Rivki Rosenwald, Esq., CLC 142
Do you eat a Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving?
HUMOR Centerfold
82
Uncle Moishy Fun Page
130
Rocky’s Rant: Brooklyn Blues
132
POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes
108
The Most Revealing Debate Yet by Charles Krauthammer
112
Don’t Feed the Islamic State Narrative by Michael Gerson
114
CLASSIFIEDS 135
42 58 %
Yes
%
No
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Continued from 8
our brothers and sisters were turned away because America had strict immigration quotas at that time. I would hate to do that same wrong to others who are not deserving of it. So, no, I don’t think we should only allow Christian refugees onto our shores. (And who is to say that members of Al Qaeda or ISIS won’t pose as Christians to be allowed entry.) But I do think that as a country that is rightfully concerned with the safety and security of our citizens, we should thoroughly vet those who are seeking refuge here. There is nothing wrong with being cautious. And I know that those refugees who do find their homes in the United States will also appreciate our vigilance when they see they can live safe lives here. Sincerely, Aliza S. Dear Editor, Your son has cancer! Those were the dreaded words my wife and I were told in November 2001. Our son, now a healthy twenty-two year old, was cured through the grace of Hashem and with the participation of our doctors and friends but our efforts continue to support Chai
Lifeline. Throughout our ordeal, Chai Lifeline stood by our side and helped Jonah and us tremendously from providing our children with big brothers and sisters, emotional support, providing us with home-cooked meals in the hospital and sending Jonah to Camp Simcha, in the mountains where he always had a blast. Children with serious illness face a host of challenges on numerous fronts, challenges that immeasurably compound the difficulty of their arduous struggle to combat the disease itself. Chai Lifeline is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to helping children suffering from serious illness as well as their family members. As the father of a child who had cancer, I can never do enough to help the organization that was by our side during the entire ordeal. Chai Lifeline addresses the full spectrum of needs, from logistical to social, recreational to psychological. Chai Lifeline reaches out not only to patients, but also to parents, siblings, classmates, school faculty, and the community as well. It has been a few years since I last ran in the ING Miami Marathon, because of knee injuries. Now after two surgeries and with my new knee,
I can’t wait to run again to help the families of Chai Lifeline. As a hakoras hatov (means of showing my gratitude) while running the marathon on behalf of Chai Lifeline, I hope to raise more than $30,000 by race day. I hope you will help me reach this goal by making a generous tax-deductible donation. Your support is a critical part of this effort and I know that together we can make a difference to these children. All donations are 100% tax-deductible, and the Team Lifeline website (http://tinyurl.com/pyq2me4 ) makes donations quick, easy, and secure. Making a donation will only take a minute, so please donate today. If you wish to mail your donation, please mail your checks payable to: Chai Lifeline c/o Adelsberg, 309 Barr Avenue, Woodmere, New York 11598. Thank you for supporting me, and in doing so, helping children and their families cope with the diagnosis, treatment, and aftermath of serious pediatric illness. Jonah Adelsberg Dear Editor, The state of our country’s national security is severely perilous. The interminable tide of illegal immigration is unconscionable—yet still endorsed by the various presidential candidates. Perpetuating our culture and language and promoting a policy of integration will ensure our continuity as a nation. The 20th century commenced a massive wave of legal immigration through Ellis Island—an estimated 24 million persons—into the U.S. But Ellis Island was merely a waiting room as in a doctor’s office— intensive background checks and screening were performed on all newcomers. Entry to Ellis Island did not constitute entry to the U.S.—many were denied admittance. After this colossal influx of immigrants, legal immigration was suspended pro tempore for about 20 years, so the newcomers could integrate themselves into American society by learning English and embracing the American
culture. Now we have millions of illegal immigrants in the U.S. and some of the candidates—such as Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush—advocate amnesty to assuage the issue. We’re unceasingly assailed for not being compassionate towards immigrants, since we are a nation of immigrants, right? Actually, we’re a nation of American citizens; Senator Ted Cruz said so eloquently in an interview with Fox News anchor Sean Hannity that, in terms of the economic consequences of illegal immigration, “There’s nothing compassionate about giving away jobs from American citizens to illegal immigrants.” Even more paramount are the human consequences of unfettered immigration. According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, in its 2013 Threat Overview report, since 2008—in Texas alone—over 2,000 American citizens were killed by illegal immigrants. Likewise, we are importing thousands of Syrian migrants into the country—even though only 1 in 5 are actually Syrian—and FBI director James Comey testified before Congress that is nearly impossible to vet even most of the migrants, since most birth records and other significant information have either been lost or destroyed in the ongoing civil war in that region, and Syria’s civic institutions are almost non-operational. (It is noteworthy that one of the terrorists in last week’s heinous and hideous Paris attack was a migrant posing as a refugee.) If we’re serious and candid about protecting American citizens—our primary concern—it is cardinal that we seal our borders, expatriate illegal immigrants to their home country, temporarily demur legal immigration, assimilate those here legally, reject the immigration viewpoints of Rubio and Bush, and instead embrace those of Ted Cruz and Donald Trump, in order to “preserve and protect” our beloved country, the United States of America. Sincerely, Rafi Metz
Views expressed on the Letters to the Editor page do not necessarily reflect the views of The Jewish Home. Please send all correspondence to editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
The Week In News
Bombings in Beirut Claim 44 Lives
to target a Hezbollah-dominated neighborhood since mid-2014, after a string of such attacks rocked the city in 2013 and 2014. Those explosions were ostensibly in revenge for Hezbollah’s military support for regime forces in neighboring Syria’s civil war. Last week’s attacks were the largest ISIS attack ever in Lebanon and among the deadliest bombings to hit the volatile country in decades.
Kenyan Troops Involved in Smuggling Ring
Seven out of the eleven people who were arrested for last week’s Beirut bombings are from Syria. 44 people were killed in the attacks whose original target was a hospital, officials said. The Islamic State terror group claimed responsibility for the attacks which hit a busy shopping street in a mostly Shiite Hezbollah area in Beirut, Lebanon. “The detained include seven Syrians and two Lebanese, one of them a (would-be) suicide bomber and the other a trafficker who smuggled them across the border from Syria,” Interior Minister Nuhad Mashnuq related. “The whole suicide bombing network and its supporters were arrested in the 48 hours following the explosion,” Mashnuq added, calling the arrests “an extraordinary achievement.” He said the seven Syrians were detained in a Palestinian refugee camp. Security forces arrested the Lebanese would-be suicide attacker in the northern port city of Tripoli after he had failed to detonate his suicide belt. The initial plan was apparently to send five suicide bombers to a hospital in the neighborhood, but heavy security forced them to change the target to a densely populated area of the capital. Mashnuq hinted that he expected further attacks: “When they send five suicide attackers to one place, it means ... it won’t be the last.” Sadly, it seems he was correct. Just days after his statement, 129 people were killed in multiple attacks in Paris. The Beirut blasts were the first
Kenyan troops stationed in Somalia are allegedly involved in a $400 million sugar smuggling ring that also involves the militant group Al-Shabab, according to a report by investigative journalists in Kenya. The report, issued on Thursday by the Nairobi Journalists for Justice group, accuses Kenyan Defense Forces (KDF) stationed in Somalia of illegally taxing every bag of sugar and every piece of charcoal that leaves the Somali port of Kismayo. Al-Shabab, which is based in Somalia but frequently launches attacks in Kenya, also has a sizeable stake in the racket. KDF forces are currently stationed in Somalia as part of the African Union Mission in Somalia, a 22,000-strong peacekeeping mission trying to stabilize the country and disrupt Al-Shabab’s activities. Nevertheless, Al-Shabab still managed to launch an attack in April on Garissa University in Kenya, killing 148 people. The Kenyan government dismissed the report, with a spokesperson calling it “absolute garbage,” according to Reuters Africa. The report’s findings are based on interviews with United Nations officials and current Kenyan military officers. Supposedly, 150,000 tons of sugar enter Kenya illegally via Kismayo each year. The scheme is worth between $200 million and $400 million, the report states, and
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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the KDF, Al-Shabab and the administration of Jubalandan autonomous region in southern Somalia all have substantial stakes in the profits. The report also accuses Kenyan forces of extensive human rights violations and of conducting airstrikes in Somalia that target civilians rather than Al-Shabab training camps.
“The corruption and human rights abuses undermine Kenya’s goals in Somalia, provide funds and propaganda to Al-Shabab, and ultimately result in the deaths of hundreds of innocent Kenyans,” the report concludes. A spokesperson for the Kenyan army, Colonel David Obonyo, denied
all the allegations and rejected the notion that the military was cooperating with Al-Shabab in the sugar or charcoal trade. “How can you sit down with [Al-Shabab] one minute, and the next you are killing each other?” said one official.
An Islamic State terror plan was foiled by police last Thursday. Seventeen arrest warrants were issued and 13 people were detained in Italy, Britain and Norway, according to Eurojust, the EU’s Judicial Cooperation Unit. The group was planning to kidnap diplomats and carry out attacks to try to spring its leader out of detention in Norway. The other wanted suspects were believed to be fighting in Iraq or Syria for the Islamic State (IS) group, according to Italian police, who led the operation. Giuseppe Governale of the Italian police’s Special Operations Group told journalists the operation had “dismantled an integrated cell that included – in addition to Italy – Britain, Norway, Finland, Switzerland and Germany.” The sting on the cell, which was “affiliated with IS,” was “the most important police operation in Europe in the last twenty years.” Investigators said the network was attempting to free Norway-based fundamentalist preacher Najmuddin Ahmad Faraj – also known as Mullah Krekar – who is listed as a terrorist by the United States and United Nations. Krekar has been serving time on and off since 2012. He was freed in January after completing his sentence for intimidation and death threats, but rearrested at the end of February for inciting crime. Krekar founded the radical Islamist group Ansar al-Islam, but insists he has not led it since 2002. The network developed “on the ‘dark web,’ little-known [Internet] platforms that we have managed to penetrate,” Governale said, adding that the swoop has allowed police to spoil “a process of recruitment, of sending [fighters] into combat abroad.” The network “was about to continue sending many other jihadists abroad; it was about to carry out attacks, including suicide bombings, to try to free their chief, Mullah Krekar.”
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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Norway’s Justice Minister Anders Anudsen said Italy had requested Krekar’s extradition but Oslo would first need assurances that “Italy would not send Krekar to Iraq.” If granted, the extradition would be done as quickly as possible, he said. Italy said the arrests were the culmination of an investigation dubbed “Jweb” launched in 2010 after the discovery of a website called “jarchive,” which contained material related to Al-Qaeda and its affiliate organizations. A probe led first to Kurdish Iraqi Abdul Rahman Nauroz, who visited the site and showed “clear signs of radicalization,” after which investigators wire-tapped his phone and discovered a network of people headed by Krekar.
Rouhani: U.S. Should Apologize Iranian President Hassan Rouhani says that the United States and Iran could have a better relationship as long as the U.S. apologizes for past behavior. Rouhani, who championed the July 14 deal, has pushed for closer
engagement with the West since his 2013 landslide election win.
However, Iran’s top authority, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has continued to rule out normalizing ties with the “Great Satan,” as he routinely calls the United States. In a recent interview, Rouhani suggested that the United States and Iran could open embassies in each other’s capitals after decades of mutual hostility, but said Washington should apologize, without going into further detail. “One day these embassies will reopen but what counts is behavior and the Americans hold the key to this.” Tehran and Washington severed ties shortly after the 1979 Islamic revolution when radical students seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and held 52 Americans hostage for over a year.
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Relations came under further pressure in the last decade over Iran’s nuclear ambitions. Under the nuclear deal reached in July, Iran will curb its nuclear program in exchange for an easing of sanctions on its economy. Tehran denied Western suspicions it wants to develop an atomic bomb. Khamenei, who has the final say on all state matters, gave his conditional approval to the deal with six world powers including the United States, but has warned against allowing any U.S. political or economic influence on Iran.
Jihadi John Targeted In Airstrike
Months of planning and tracking led to the bombing and assumed killing of Mohammed Emwazi, a.k.a. “Jihadi John.” Last week, two U.S. and one British MQ-9 Reaper drones cruised above Raqqa, the Syrian heart of the Islamic State’s self-declared caliphate. Two people were seen getting into a car. One of those observed was Mohammed Emwazi, the British computer programming graduate who catapulted to infamy in August 2014 when he presented the beheading of American journalist James Foley, the first of several grisly videos in which he presided over the beheadings of foreign hostages. Brandishing a knife, dressed head to toe in black, and speaking with a London accent, Emwazi became known as “Jihadi John,” the most potent symbol of ISIS’s brutality and a high-value target for U.S. and British intelligence agencies. U.S. officials said the U.S. and British military operation to kill Emwazi had been in the works well before the drones finally unleashed their missiles. U.S. and British agencies had tracked the Islamic State propagandist and executioner for months before delivering information on his movements and location to the U.S. military, officials said. The subsequent U.S. and British operation
unfolded quickly. Two missiles destroyed the car targeted in the strike. “We’re 100 percent sure the guy we hit is dead. We are reasonably sure the dead guy is Jihadi John,” said one U.S. official, speaking on condition of anonymity. The strike illustrates an apparent improvement in Western intelligence gathering over the past year or more in a rugged region where reliable on-the-ground information is scarce and where the United States has struggled to infiltrate the extremist group. The attack on Emwazi follows a series of strikes by the United States and Britain against other relatively well-known British recruits to the Islamic State movement. In August, a man from Birmingham regarded as one of Islamic State’s top computer experts, Junaid Hussain, was killed in a U.S. drone strike. Around the same time, two other British recruits to Islamic State, Reyyad Khan and Ruhul Amin, were killed by drone strikes launched by British forces.
Jewish Man Stabbed in Milan
A Chareidi man wearing a yarmulke was attacked with a knife last week in the heart of Milan, Italy. Natan Graf was stabbed 75 feet from his home, leading police to boost security at the city’s Jewish sites. Natan, a husband and father in his forties who holds Israeli citizenship, was stabbed nine times after leaving the kosher restaurant Carmel on his way home. Thankfully, he only sustained light to moderate injuries. According to Rabbi Moshe Shaikevitz, director of Beit Chabad-Milan Jewish Center, several young Israeli students standing not far from the scene heard Graf’s screams and came to his aid, while the attacker, who they said appeared to be an Arab, fled with a waiting accomplice. “There is always police protection outside the community
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
school, the Chabad school, synagogues and other Jewish institutions, and there is also a local Jewish protection group,” explained Shaikevitz. “We all hope and pray nothing like this happens again.” One of the leaders of the Jewish community in Milan, Raffaelo Baso, said that “the attack took place near our community. In the past we received threats, but this is the first time such an incident has occurred in Italy.” Police are prioritizing the attack as a hate crime but an attacker has yet to be apprehended.
Tel Aviv Hearts Veggies Tel Aviv’s latest recognition may not appeal to my dietary tastes, but it still very impressive. According to Conde Nast Traveler, Tel Aviv has
the world’s best vegetarian food. Author Raphael Kadushin describes the Israeli city as an “herbivore smorgasbord.”
So shwarma is out … but falafel fits the bill.
Father and Son Tragically Slain by Palestinian Terrorists According to the activist group Vegan-Friendly, Israel is home to approximately 300,000 vegans, the highest per capita vegan population anywhere in the world. A separate survey found that 8 percent of Israelis are vegetarian and nearly 5 percent are vegan. “Spending a week going meatless in Tel Aviv isn’t just easy; it lets you sample the city’s best bites,” Kadushin writes. The article lists several recommended vegan and “veg-friendly” restaurants in the White City, including one devoted to vegan Georgian food and an Ethiopian vegan cafe. Vegan diets omit not just meat but all animal products, including eggs and dairy.
Rabbi Yaakov Litman, 40, and his son Netanel, 18, who were viciously killed by Palestinian terrorists outside Otniel south of Hebron on Friday afternoon, were laid to rest in Yerushalayim on Motzei Shabbos. Five other family members – Rabbi Litman’s wife, three daughters aged 5, 9, and 11, and a 16-year-old son – suffered minor wounds. The family was driving to the aufruf of their oldest daughter’s chosson when the gunmen opened fire on their vehicle. All five were lightly wounded by shrapnel and the resulting crash, but were not shot. Noa Litman, Rabbi Yaakov’s wife, described to ordeal to Arutz Sheva. “At a curve in the road they started shooting at us,” she said. “Our car was stuck on the side of the road, but the terrorist came out to the middle of the road and continued firing at us from the front. The first bullet struck my husband Yaakov. Netanel was driving, and Dvir, my other son, screamed, ‘Save Aba! Save Aba!’ But Yaakov did not answer back – that’s when I realized he was no longer alive.” Netanel, who was still alive, opened the door to the car to try to call emergency services. The terrorist then shot him dead. Dvir managed to call for help. At that moment, a Red Crescent ambulance passed by and Noa tried to flag it down. “But they refused to do anything. All they did was tell us to call Magen David Adom and they drove on. Dvir told them that there were injured people, but they told him in English to call the emergency phone number 101 and they left.” As a member of the International Committee of the Red Cross, said Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, the Red Crescent is required to help
all people who need assistance regardless of their affiliation. Failure to do so, he said, was a violation of their mission, and Netanyahu said that Israel would demand “answers” about how and why the ambulance left the scene without helping. Army units have since launched an intensive search and imposed a siege on the nearby Arab village of Yata. On Sunday, one Palestinian was taken into custody in connection to the attack. Following the attack, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vowed to hunt down the killers and bring them to justice. “We will find these lowlife murderers and we will prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law, just as we have done in the past,” Netanyahu asserted, adding that Israel will continue to fight terrorism “wherever it strikes.” Speaking at the funeral, President Reuven Rivlin said even in the face of terror “we are not afraid, we do not surrender and we do not back down. Our history is intertwined with this land.” The president praised Rabbi Yaakov Litman for his work as a teacher, and Netanel’s work as MDA volunteer. Hamas praised the killers as “heroic,” although the group did not claim responsibility for the attack. Meanwhile, Palestinian sources in Gaza said passersby handed out candy in the streets to celebrate the murders.
PA: “Mossad Behind Paris Attacks”
According to the Palestinian Authority, ISIS and Israel are equal in how they commit terror. The PA’s ruling party, Fatah, recently showed the Palestinian flag next to the flags of Russia, Lebanon and France in a Facebook post. The flags refer to recent ISIS terror attacks that took place in and against
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The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
these countries. On October 31, a Russian plane exploded in Egypt killing 224 people. A double suicide bombing in Beirut, Lebanon, on November 12 killed 44 people and wounded over 200. Last Friday, the attacks in Paris killed 129 and wounded over 300 in several simultaneous shooting and suicide bombing attacks. “Terror is terror and we condemn all terror,” Fatah said in a post. “Be it destroying houses in Nablus (a.k.a. Shechem) and killing our children by Israel or hitting a Russian plane over Egypt. The Paris attacks are criminal acts done by coward terrorists.” Not surprisingly, an Op/Ed in the official PA daily, Al-Hayat Al-Jadida, claimed that the Mossad orchestrated the Paris attacks, insisting that it was a hit designed to cripple Europe for deciding to label goods made in Judea, Samaria, Jerusalem, and the Golan Heights. The author added that Israel is the one benefiting from these attacks and that they serve the “goals” of Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu, who “hides in his soul enough evil to burn the world.” Several PA officials also intimated Israel as being behind the attacks, including Palestinian Legislative Coun-
cil member Bassam Abu Sharif, Dr. Jamal Nazzal, spokesman of Fatah in Europe, and the spokesman for the PA National Security Forces, Adnan Damiri.
White House Approves EU’s Labeling of Jewish Products
Barack Obama’s administration has voiced its approval of the discriminatory EU decision to label Jewish goods from Judea, Samaria, eastern Jerusalem and the Golan Heights. The administration said the move is only a “technical guideline” and is
not a boycott, despite the obvious assumption that consumers would follow the labeling when choosing what products to buy. U.S. State Department spokesperson Mark Toner said, “We do not believe that labeling the origin of products is equivalent to a boycott. And as you know, we do not consider settlements to be part of Israel. We do not view labeling the origin of products as being from the settlements as a boycott of Israel.” Despite Toner’s words, an expert at NGO Monitor has revealed that the move is the first step in a planned total boycott of Israel based on the stated goals of the groups who brought about the labeling. The U.S. had been slightly vague before the decision by the EU, with Toner saying the U.S. opposes boycotting Israel but that the EU’s position “shouldn’t come as a surprise” given Israel’s continued presence in its Biblical heartland of Judea and Samaria. Toner also said, “We understand the objective is to provide EU consumers correct information on the origin of products, as required by EU law. The EU has made clear that measures are not a boycott, and the EU has also
made very clear that they oppose boycotts against Israel. EU guidelines for products that are sold in EU countries are for the EU to determine.” Toner went further by saying the U.S. similarly labels imports from Judea and Samaria, noting such products must be marked “products of the West Bank,” although there is no distinction between Jewish and Arab products, as is the case with the EU. Israel reacted to the recent announcement by the EU by pointing out the discriminatory nature of the EU labeling, with many noting that there are hundreds of territorial disputes around the globe which have not been targeted for labeling or boycotts by the EU, such as in Western Sahara, Tibet, and northern Cyprus.
Three Israelis on Impressive MIT List Of the 35 young researchers honored by MIT this year for having a “huge impact on the world,” three are from Israel. Drs. Gilad Evrony,
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Cigall Kadoch, and Rikky Muller all satisfy the main criteria of the prestigious Boston-based university as “people who are driving the next generation of technological breakthroughs.”
Since 1999, MIT’s 35 Innovators Under 35 list has selected young innovators whose work, the university believes, has great potential to transform the world. The awards, which cover fields such as biotechnology, materials, computer hardware, energy, transportation, communications and the web, were presented last week at EmTech, the annual conference of the MIT Technology Review. Evrony was recognized for his work developing a new way to look at brain cells – analyzing the DNA of single neurons in order to understand how they mutate and how the brain grows and develops. The tech-
nology has shown that every person’s brain is sprinkled with countless genetic mutations invisible to prior research, “which may help explain some of the many neurologic and psychiatric diseases whose causes are not known,” Evrony explained. A graduate of MIT, Evrony completed Harvard Medical School’s MD-PhD program where he worked in the laboratory of Christopher Walsh, chief of genetics and genomics at Boston Children’s Hospital. There he developed a way to read the tiny amount of DNA inside single brain cells, which led to a surprising discovery – that every neuron in a person’s brain contains many genetic mutations that occur as the brain develops in the womb and throughout life. Early during his studies, Evrony managed to take off three years to serve in the IDF’s Intelligence Division, in the Israeli army’s elite communications and technology group whose graduates have made a huge impact on the Israeli start-up scene. “It was there I realized I could do this kind of work, where I was encouraged to think outside the box and learned the power of technology innovation,” Evrony said.
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Rikky Muller and her colleagues are focused on developing innovative medical devices to study and treat neurological disorders. Under her leadership, Cortera Neurotechnologies, a company she co-founded, is a key contributor to a DARPA program aimed at developing neurotechnology as a therapy to treat neuropsychiatric disorders such as major depressive disorder and posttraumatic stress disorder. Cigall Kadoch, while completing her PhD at Stanford, discovered a link between a genome regulator in cells called the BAF protein complex and a rare cancer called synovial sarcoma. She and colleagues later showed that mutations of BAF are involved in at least 20 percent of human cancers, opening the door for research on drugs that target mutated BAFs.
average. In other words, if their children had drank milk, they would be a few centimeters taller, according to the research. “Some of these children are even 10 centimeters shorter than their parents,” Dr. Sinai points out. “These are clear statistical differences. It’s not a coincidence. “Milk is a source of energy, of high-quality biological protein, of vital fatty acids, of vitamins and of minerals, which are all concentrated in one type of food,” Sinai explained. “Children who don’t consume milk must find a way to make up the nutritional deprivations in order to prevent growth problems.”
Israel Bans Islamic Movement
Got Milk?
Children who do not drink enough milk will be 1.5 inches shorter than they could be, according to a new Israeli study. Dr. Tali Sinai from the School of Nutritional Sciences at Hebrew University’s Faculty of Agriculture conducted the study together with the Assaf Harofeh Medical Center. The research was conducted on 100 twenty-year-old subjects. Twenty is the age almost everyone has already reached their full growth potential. Some of the subjects were allergic to milk and had therefore never consumed it, while the rest drank milk regularly. According to Dr. Sinai, a clinical dietician, the research findings determined unequivocally that the subjects who never consumed milk were shorter than the ones who consumed the product. The study further found that those who did not drink milk were shorter than the general average in the population. The heights of the parents of the subjects who have never drank milk were also analyzed. Sinai found that the parents, who have been drinking milk all their lives, were 4 centimeters taller than their children, on
On Tuesday, Israel declared the northern branch of the Islamic Movement in Israel an unlawful gathering, effectively outlawing the group led by Sheikh Raed Salah. The decision, made by the Security Cabinet, means that any person or group that officially associates with the organization from now on will be subject to criminal penalties, including arrest. In addition, the organization’s property can be confiscated. Following the decision, police searched more than a dozen of the group’s offices around the country, seizing computers, files and funds. Authorities also froze its bank accounts and said that 17 organizations affiliated with the party were served with orders to close down. Police also called in several of the movement’s members for questioning, including Salah, his deputy Sheikh Kamal Khatib, and the organization’s head of Jerusalem and Al-Aqsa mosque affairs, Dr. Salman Abu Ahmad. Police and Shin Bet investigators, who gathered the evidence to back the decision at the government’s behest, will now have more leeway in acting against the northern branch of the Islamic Movement. The evidence gath-
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
YOU GOTTA
“TZVI IT”
TO BELIEVE IT!
IN STORES NOW! Avai lab l e f o r d own l oad o n tzvi s i l b e rst e i n . c o m ered showed, among other things, the tight ideological connection and public relationship between the northern branch of the Islamic Movement to Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood. Security officials made a distinction between the northern and southern branches of the Islamic Movement. While the northern branch is considered radical, the southern branch is considered moderate, and has not been sanctioned.
The movement’s connection to Hamas was a major factor in the Cabinet’s decision. The two collaborated in joint ventures through the northern branch’s institutional activities, and for years, the northern branch’s activities have been funded by organizations connected with Hamas. The leader of the northern branch of the Islamic Movement, Sheikh Raed Salah, called the decision “unacceptable,” and said the Islamic
Movement will “keep on its path until its victory, especially on the issue of Al-Quds (Jerusalem) and Al-Aqsa mosque.” Salah, who is set to start serving an 11-month prison sentence for inciting violence in a 2007 sermon, vowed to take all measures to undo the government’s decision. “The Security Cabinet decision was made following a series of indepth discussions with all relevant
legal and security elements,” said Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “The goal is to stop the dangerous incitement at home and prevent harm to innocent life. My government will continue to act as necessary against incitement and terrorism; at the same time, we will continue to invest resources for the betterment of Israel’s Arab and Jewish citizens alike.” Public Security Minister Gilad Erdan added, “The State of Israel must set an example and spearhead the fight against radical Islam, whose messengers we witnessed slaughtering innocent people in Paris, New York, Madrid and Israel. “The Islamic Movement, Hamas, ISIS, and the other terror organizations have a common ideological platform that leads to terror attacks in the world and the wave of terror attacks in Israel. It is time we use all the tools at our disposal in the fight against terror and those inciting to it,” Erdan said. Hamas saw the decision to outlaw the northern branch of the Islamic Movement in Israel as a badge of honor, but said the decision was “racist, and hurts Israeli Arabs.” The terror organization called on the international community to take responsibility for the decision. Salah has alleged in speeches and annual rallies under the heading “Al-Aqsa is in Danger” that Israel plans to expand its control there. Since 2001, the Islamic Movement has bused tens of thousands of supporters to the Al-Aqsa mosque compound every year to strengthen its Muslim presence. Several years ago, the movement helped form groups of male and female activists, known as “Morabitoun” – loosely translated as defenders of Islamic lands – who spend hours each weekday at the shrine trying to disrupt visits by Jews. During periods of tension, police at times block busloads of Islamic Movement supporters from Jerusalem. Earlier this year, Israel outlawed three associations suspected of funding the Morabitoun and later declared the groups illegal.
Spain Issues Arrest Warrant for Netanyahu Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and other top government officials could be detained if
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
rhgk tc ehsm With great joy we are honored with the presence of our revered guest, the well known Tzaddik
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Havdala and L’chaim at 8:00 PM at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Zishy Barth 144-29 69 Ave.
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
they step foot in Spain after a judge there issued an arrest warrant stemming from a deadly 2010 Gaza flotilla raid; Israel is dismissing the move as a “provocation.”
Controlling Parents More Likely to Have Obese Children In the 2010 incident, a group of human rights activists – which included members affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood– boarded several aid ships to try and break an Israeli naval blockade of the Gaza Strip. Israel’s navy was able to stop several of the ships without incident, but its commandos were attacked when boarding the Mavi Marmara, leaving 10 activists dead in an ensuing gun battle. Three Spanish nationals who were onboard the ship then sued Netanyahu and other Israeli government officials, who at the time made key security decisions for Israel. Among the officials are former Foreign Minister Avigdor Liberman; Moshe Ya’alon and Ehud Barak, the former defense ministers; former Interior Minister Eli Yishai; former Intelligence Minister Dan Meridor; and Bennie Begin, minister-without-portfolio. A judge in Spain’s National Court in 2010 determined that the country no longer has the authority to file lawsuits in international incidents and referred the case to the International Criminal Court, which dismissed it. But on Friday, Judge Jose de la Mata found a loophole that would allow Spanish authorities to re-open their investigation of the raid if any of the officials enter Spain. “It’s a provocation,” Foreign Ministry spokesman Emmanuel Nahshon told The Times of Israel on Tuesday. “The Israeli Embassy in Madrid is in touch with Spanish General Prosecutor in order to close the file as promptly as possible. We hope that this will be over soon.” If the seven officials enter Spain, a judge could question and detain them for their alleged role in the incident. But Netanyahu could be exempt if the Spanish government determines he has diplomatic immunity.
Bad habits, like constant snacking and overeating, are contributing factors to childhood obesity but a new study suggests that caregivers’ “parenting style” is a contributing factor as well. Researchers at Montreal’s Concordia University studied how parenting styles and social environment affect children’s risk of obesity. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the study revealed that parents play a crucial role in their children’s eating habits. According to the study released last week, preschoolers with “authoritarian parents” (described as “not responsive but demanding”) were 35 percent more likely to be obese than those with “authoritative” parents (described as “both responsive and demanding”). For school-age children, the likelihood went up to 41 percent. The study, “Parenting style and obesity risk in children,” was published in the journal Preventative Medicine. “It could be that a controlling parenting style essentially overrides a child’s own internal satiety and self-regulation signals, so that when the opportunity to overindulge is presented and the child is not being monitored, the child is less able to self-regulate,” Lisa Kakinami, an assistant professor in Concordia University’s Department of Mathematics and Statistics who led the study of more than 37,000 kids, said. “Another theory is that a controlling style may increase stress levels in the child, which has also been linked with obesity. It’s likely that the answer is not simple, and several different factors are likely interrelated.”
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A staggering 17 percent of children ages 2 through 19 (that’s 12.7 million people) are classified as obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The World Health Organization warns of the serious health risks for obese children such as cardiovascular disease, insulin resistance, cancer, and disabling degenerative joint disease. “The family environment is important” to help turn the tide for the millions of kids facing an overweight future, Kakinami points out. Experts suggest parents loosen on up on the “finish what’s on your plate” demands and get more involve in eating, choosing, and serving food. “A combination of warmth, while also enforcing rules with an open dialogue, has been shown to be best for a child’s social and emotional development,” Kakinami explains. “And this research indicates that it’s also good for a child’s health development as well.”
Mizzou Protestors Don’t Want to Share the Spotlight
Black Lives Matter and Mizzou protesters took over campuses last week protesting racial injustice. But since Friday night’s tragic Paris attacks they are upset with the media. Activists and protestors turned to Twitter to complain that the nonstop news coverage of the Paris attacks and the developing IS threat is hogging the spotlight. Students at the University of Missouri are protesting several racial incidents they claimed were mishandled by university officials. University President Tim Wolfe, who is white, was forced to step down last week amid the controversy. Missouri Student Body President Payton Head, who is black, apologized last week after it was revealed that he
lied about a “confirmed” Ku Klux Klan threat on campus. On Twitter, Mizzou protestors spoke about how their struggles with racial oppression were being “erased” by the overwhelming news coverage of the killings of 129 people at the hands of Islamic State extremists. “Racist white people kill me, you want everyone to have sympathy for YOUR tragedy, but you have none for ours,” one user tweeted, adding “#Mizzou.” “Disgusted @ white conservative Americans using Paris as a ‘see black people, your woes here w/ us could be more extreme,’ but not surprised,” another user tweeted. Protestors and leaders of the Black Lives Matter called racial injustice at college campuses acts of terrorism and drew similarities to the attacks in Paris. “Interesting how the news reports are covering the Paris terrorist attacks but said nothing abut the terrorist attack at #Mizzou,” one user tweeted reads. “Paris attacks were terrorism. black students getting death threats on their college campuses (A SUPPOSED SAFE SPACE!!) is also TERRORISM,” another tweet reads. “There is no rank order to injustice,” DeRay McKesson, a prominent civil rights activist, tweeted. “We fight for #Mizzou, #PrayForParis, and seek justice for #SandraBland — at the same time.” In response to the outrageous, insensitive and harsh tweets, the University of Missouri released a statement on Saturday night. “Our hearts go out to the citizens of Paris and all those affected by the tragic events of last night,” the university said. “While our community has faced difficulties over the past week, we express our sincere sympathy to those who have been affected by the events in Paris and remain committed to making Mizzou stronger and more inclusive.”
Want to Be Happy? Adults and kids alike are addicted to social media and choose to spend their time on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter instead of doing more productive activities. The negative effects seem pretty obvious but a recent study actually proves them. The Happiness Research Institute conducted a study involving a sam-
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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ֻ ְ י.1 הוֹשׁ ַע ֵ ֵ שׁוֹל ַח ֶאת ָה ַ אוֹרב (יוֹמיִ ים ִל ְפנֵ י ַה ְקּ ָרב )א ַ ִבּ ְת ִח.2 ילת ַה ְקּ ָרב ַה ָצּ ָבא ַהיִּ ְשׂ ְר ֵא ִלי ָה ִע ָיקּ ִרי ֻ ְ י.3 ִמ ְת ַמ ֵקּם ָכּאן )ב( ִמ ָצּפוֹן ַלגַּ יְ א הוֹשׁ ַע ֵ ַ שׁוֹל ֵ ַה ְמ ַהוִּ ים, ִאישׁ5,000 ח עוֹד ָ אוֹרב (נוֹסף )ג ֲ ַה.4 ְ לּוֹח ִמים ֶשׁל ָה ַעי ֻ ְיוֹצ ִאים ִל ְק ַראת ַה ָצּ ָבא ֶשׁל י הוֹשׁ ַע ֻ ְ י.5 (הוֹשׁ ַע נָ סוֹג ְל ַמ ְר ִאית ַעיִ ן )ד ֲ ַכּ ֲא ֶשׁר ַה.6 ִ לּוֹח ִמים ֶשׁנִּ ְשׁ ֲארוּ ָבּ ַעי ַרוֹאים ֶאת נְ ִסיג ת ְי ֻ הוֹשׁ ַ ע ֵ ה ם ִ מ ְ צ ָ ט ְ ר ִ פ ים י ַ ל ִ ל ְ ֲ ִבּ ְכ ֵד רדוֹף ַא ֲח ֵרי לּוֹח ִמים ַה ִקּ ְד ִמיִּ ים ְ גַ ם ַאנ.ַה ָצּ ָבא ַהיִּ ְשׂ ְר ֵא ִלי ַהנָּ סוֹג ֵ ָה.7 ֵ אוֹרב ֵשׁי ֵבּית ֵאל ִמ ְצ ָט ְר ִפים ַל ִמּ ְר ָדף פּוֹשׁט ַעל ָ ה ַ ע י ַ ח ְ ס ַ ר ת ַ ה ֲ ה ָג ָנ ,ה ַ וּמ ֲ ע ֶ ל ה ָ אוֹתהּ ָבּ ֵאשׁ ֻ ְ י.8 ֶ הוֹשׁ ַע ֶ רוֹאה ֶאת ֲע ַשׁן ָה ַעי וְ ָאז הוּא,עוֹלה ַה ָשּׁ ַמ ָימה ְ מ ַ שׁ ֶנּ ה ִ כּ יוּוּן ְו ִנ ְ ל ָ ח ֻ ְ י.9 הוֹשׁ ם ע ַ וּמ ְ ְ וּצ שׁ ָ ִ ב מ אוֹ יד ִנ ֶ ְ ֲ את ַ כנַ ִסים ַל ַעי לוֹח ֵמי ָה ַעי ָ וּמ ְשׁמ ִידים ֶאת ָכּל ביה ה ָ ֶ תּוֹשׁ
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ple of 1,095 people in Denmark who were divided into two groups, half of whom continued using Facebook while the others stopped.
“We focused on Facebook because it is the social media that most people use across age groups,” Meik Wiking, HRI’s chief executive said on Tuesday in Copenhagen, the Danish capital. The sample of people who refrained from Facebook activity reported being more satisfied with their lives after a week; 88% described themselves as “happy” compared with 81 percent from the second group. Some 84% percent said they appreciated their lives compared with 75 percent in the other group, and only 12 percent described themselves as dissatisfied, compared with 20 percent among those who continued using Facebook. In short, Facebook users are 39 percent more likely to feel less happy than non-users – is it worth it? The group that continued to use Facebook reported no change in social life. It’s been said that one needs to “disconnect to connect,” and the abstainers reported having a richer social life and fewer difficulties in concentrating by the end of the experiment. “Instead of focusing on what we actually need, we have an unfortunate tendency to focus on what other people have,” the authors of the study wrote. Thumbs up if you like this report.
The Facts of our States’ Taxes Generally people consider real estate, community, job opportunities, and schools when choosing where to settle down. But there is another factor that can greatly impact your quality of life and your bank account. Each state regulates its own state taxes, creating a large range of taxes across the nation.
There are several states that boast low income taxes but many compensate with high property taxes. Most states allow cities and counties to add their own sales taxes to statewide sales levies, boosting combined sales taxes in some cities to 10% or more. Before you turn to Zillow.com to search for a new home in these states, keep in mind that in some circumstances states that have aggressively cut taxes have less money circulating for things like social services, roads and education.
Looking to pay less state taxes? Consider these ten states with the lowest taxes in the nation: 1. Delaware State income tax: 2.2% - 6.6% State sales tax: None 2. Wyoming State income tax: None State sales tax: 4% 3. Alaska State income tax: None State sales tax: None 4. Louisiana State income tax: 2% - 6% State sales tax: 4% 5. Alabama State income tax: 2% - 5% State sales tax: 4% 6. Mississippi State income tax: 3% - 5% State sales tax: 7% 7. Arizona State income tax: 2.59% - 4.54% State sales tax: 5.6% 8. New Mexico State income tax: 1.7% - 4.9% State sales tax: 5.125% 9. Nevada State income tax: None State Sales tax: 6.85% 10. South Carolina State income tax: 3% - 7% State sales tax: 6%
San Fran is the Most Kind On Friday, November 13, NBC embarked on its Season of Kindness: 40 days of “making the world a better
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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place by celebrating acts of kindness large and small.” The network is encouraging viewers to engage in random acts of kindness, from something as simple as holding open a door to giving someone your seat on the bus.
“A random act of kindness can be the smallest thing in the world, but it can change everything,” said TODAY’s Hoda Kotb. As part of NBC’s mission they teamed up with chalk artist Hans Honschar, who makes it his duty to improve New Yorkers’ days, one sidewalk message at a time. Hon-
schar chalks messages around Times Square and other New York sidewalks, always drawing a large crowd. “I’m always a crowd stopper,” he related. “People will stop in their tracks whatever they’re doing and they’ll kind of be in awe of the human typewriter. They’re always curious what the message will be. Usually I let them wait until I’m finished. “Kindness is the first step to greatness. You can’t have greatness without being kind,” Honschar said. “So I always try to keep it positive and uplifting.” Participants are sharing pictures, videos, and stories on social media using the hashtag #ShareKindness. Each day NBC broadcasts a tip or inspiration for kindness. On Sunday, day 4, they revealed the results of a poll regarding the kindest states. Participants in the NBC News State of Kindness poll, which was conducted online by SurveyMonkey, were asked to rank some large cities in terms of their “kindness” quotient – a whopping 36% of survey participants ranked New York as “least kind” (hey, that’s not very nice!). Detroit got 15% of the “least kind” vote, followed by Washington, D.C., at 11%. Conversely, San Francisco was
named “most kind” by 20% of the surveyed, followed by Dallas at 18%, and Atlanta at 15%. Remember to do a random act of kindness; you never know whose day you’re about to make.
NYU Langone Medical Center Performs Extensive Face Transplant
The latest technology and skill in medicine is nothing short of a miracle. NYU Langone Medical Center completed an extensive face transplant on a volunteer firefighter who was severely injured in a 2001 blaze.
He was badly burned on his face, skull, and much of his neck. The surgery took place in August, however, the patient, Patrick Hardison, 41, is still undergoing physical therapy at the hospital. Hardison and his doctors hope that he will be able to return home to Senatobia, Mississippi, in time for Thanksgiving. He will have to continue taking medications to prevent his body from rejecting the transplant. One of the major goals of the surgery was for Hardison to regain normal vision. In an interview last week he said that hopefully this will allow him to go back to normal life. “I’ll start driving again,” Hardison anticipated. Since the first face transplant in 2005 in France, over two dozen have been performed. Dr. Eduardo Rodriguez led the surgical team that did Hardison’s transplant and recently wrote a review of the field. He claims this specific case is by far the most extensive transplant performed successfully in terms of the amount of tissue transferred. The surgery was conducted on August 14 and lasted 26 hours. There are no visible scars on Hardison’s new face because the seam of the trans-
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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planted tissue runs down the back of his skull. The transplant extends from the top of the head, over Hardison’s skull and down to the collarbones in front and in back. The transplant includes a new scalp and two ears. The donor was 26-year-old New York artist and competitive bicyclist David P. Rodebaugh who died when he passed away from injuries from a biking accident on a Brooklyn street. Hardison was tragically burned on September 5, 2001 in Senatobia in northwestern Mississippi. At the time, he was a 27-year-old father of three who’d served for seven years as a volunteer firefighter. He had heroically entered a burning house to search for a woman trapped inside. The roof collapsed, giving him third-degree burns on his head, neck and upper torso. The injuries were irreparable; he had lost his ears, lips, most of his nose and virtually all of his eyelid tissue. With no eyelids, Hardison was unable to blink and doctors were forced to use skin grafts to reinforce what remained of his eyelids and sewed them nearly shut to protect his eyes. That left him with only pinhole vision. “I was almost totally blind,” he recalled. “I could see just a little bit.”
Since his injury, Hardison endured 71 surgeries. He did his best to return to normal life and went out, although people always stared. Eventually a friend of his wrote to Rodriguez, who had performed a 2012 face transplant at the University of Maryland Medical Center. The doctor said he would try to help, and in August 2014, Hardison was placed on a waiting list. “We were looking for the ideal donor,” one who matched Hardison on biological traits to minimize the risk of his body’s rejecting the new tissue, as well as things like skin and hair color, said Rodriguez, who by then had moved to NYU Langone. Just one year later, doctors identified Rodebaugh as a potential donor. Eventually, “a casual observer will not notice anything that is odd” in Hardison’s new face, which will blend features of his original face and the donor’s, Rodriguez said. Hardison said his new face has already made a difference when he goes outside. “I used to get stared at all the time, but now I’m just an average guy,” he said. He’s been told he can’t return to firefighting because of insurance concerns, but he has another plan: motivational speaking or something sim-
ilar, perhaps for wounded veterans. His message? “Just how there is hope.”
Employees Swallowing Large Portion of Health Care Costs
Feel like a huge chunk of your paycheck is going to cover health care costs? There is data to back you up and validate your sentiment. New research shows that employees are contributing a record amount toward their coverage. Experts do not expect that trend to shift anytime soon as insurance companies continue to offer high-deductible plans and stingier benefits. New data from consulting firm Aon Hewitt show that health care costs for mid-sized and large companies rose 3.2 percent in 2015, the smallest increase since 1996. However, the amount employees have to pay in premiums and out-of-pocket costs reached an all-time high of nearly $4,700. The firm predicts that that will rise by approximately $370 by next year. Other studies have drawn similar conclusions. “We anticipate that the rate of increase will pick up again. Our study data shows that cost increases over the past couple of years have been somewhat suppressed,” said Les McPhearson, CEO of United Benefits Advisors, which found in its own annual study a 2.4 percent rate of increase this year over 2014. “We anticipate that employers are going to continue to share health care cost increases with their employees,” McPhearson said. “It will continue to be a significant expense burden on employees.” Mike Morrow, senior vice president of Aon Health, said the cost balance has been shifting toward the employee for several years now. “Every year, it ratchets up a bit higher, and there really has been a shift,” he said. “Employees’ share of the premium
and out-of-pocket costs increase as plan designs get a little leaner every year.” Higher prices for prescription drugs are one reason behind employees’ greater out-of-pocket expenses. Morrow said drug prices are ascending at a double-digit pace. As a result, insurers are pushing patients toward generics in an effort to control costs, but those prices are rising too. High-deductible plans are another reason experts believe health care cost increases have slowed. They’re cheaper for companies to subsidize, and a growing number of mid-sized and large firms, 16 percent, according to Aon Hewitt, now offer this as the only health care option for workers. It has not been determined yet whether these plans are beneficial to patients. “We still don’t really have a lot of experience with consumer-driven health plans,” Elliott said, using another term for high-deductible plans. “It’s only been the last five years we’ve really started to see a shift toward [them].”
Fantasy Sports Under Attack
On Monday, a New York judge rejected the requests of daily fantasy sports operators DraftKings and FanDuel for temporary restraining orders to block the state attorney general’s attempt to shut them down. In separate complaints filed Friday in state Supreme Court in Manhattan, FanDuel and DraftKings first asked a judge for an injunction, arguing that Attorney General Eric Schneiderman wrongly characterized their businesses as illegal gambling operations. On Monday, Boston-based DraftKings and New York-based FanDuel asked Justice Manuel Mendez for an immediate restraining order to stop Schneiderman until they can present their case. Each said they face irreparable damage otherwise. DraftKings said it has 375,000 New Yorkers among some 2.5 million players, and that the attorney general told its vendors in letters that it was
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at risk of not doing business in New York anymore. FanDuel said it has over 1 million users, with “hundreds of thousands” in New York whose deposits it has been unable to process since Friday. The company blamed that on Schneiderman’s office, saying it has already contacted the bank and payment processors handling FanDuel’s customer deposits and withdrawals, deterring them from continuing. The case began with cease and desist letters sent by the attorney general last week, warning DraftKings and FanDuel they should stop conducting illegal gambling in New York. DraftKings and FanDuel argue that they offer games of skill, not of chance, as defined by New York’s by gambling laws.
Rising Obesity Rates
Over five years ago first lady Michelle Obama launched a campaign called Let’s Move to combat childhood obesity and encourage a healthier lifestyle. The goal was to spread awareness, promote healthier food in schools, demand clearer food labeling, and encourage more physical activity for children. However, recent research seems to show that the campaign and other initiatives are not proving to be effective; unfortunately, obesity is still increasing, specifically among American adults, and women have surpassed men in the obese category, according to new government research. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in a report on Thursday that the obesity rate has climbed to nearly 38 percent of adults, up from 32 percent about a decade earlier despite a drop in soda consumption in recent years and fastfood chains having adopted healthier menus. “This is a striking finding” and suggests that a situation that was thought to be stable is getting worse, said Dr. William Dietz, an obesity expert at George Washington University. There have yet to be experts who have offered an explanation for the
rising obesity rate. The report also revealed a concern specifically amongst women. Obesity rates for men and women had been roughly the same for about a decade. But in the new report, the rate was significantly higher for women, at 38 percent, compared with 34 percent for men. Upon further analysis, researchers have determined that the widening gap between men and women seems to be driven by what’s happening among blacks and Hispanics, said the study’s lead author, the CDC’s Cynthia Ogden. Obesity rates for white men and white women are still very close. But for blacks, the female obesity rate has soared to 57 percent, far above the male rate of 38 percent. The gender gap is widening among Hispanics, too – 46 percent for women, 39 percent for men. Obesity is classified as severely overweight and is regarded as one of the nation’s leading public health problems. Until the early 1980s, only about 1 in 6 adults were obese, but the rate climbed dramatically until it hit about 1 in 3 around a decade ago. For adults, a BMI of 25 to 29.9 is overweight, and 30 or higher is obese. According to CDC definitions, a 5-foot-10 man is overweight at 174 pounds and obese at 209 pounds.
It’s in the Can
shelves of G-d’s Pantry Food Bank— which has four locations in Lexington—throughout the holiday season. Officials are making residents work for their money, though. Offenders will have to shlep ten cans to get a $15 credit on citations. And for drivers who can’t stop getting their cars towed, they can pay off each of their multiple tickets with 10 cans per citation. Offenders will still have to shell out hard-earned cash for heftier fines, though. Last year, Lexington’s first “Foods for Fines” program was limited to expired parking meter fines. It garnered 6,200 cans—and likely sighs of relief from the individuals who were responsible for the 600 parking meter citations. This year, the charitable endeavor is open to all parking citations—and we’re assuming that the food will flow in. If you’re planning on donating, make sure to check the date: Expired canned food items won’t be accepted. And while you’re at it, keep your eye on those parking meters as well. Expired meters will make you bring in even more cans – and there’s just so much peas and carrots that the hungry can eat.
The CPO is Stepping Down
He’s 13 – and about to retire. After December 31 Alex Thorne will be stepping down from his position as CPO at Toys ‘R’ Us Canada. Not familiar with the term CPO? Neither were we. It turns out that Alex was the company’s chief play officer, a role that he took very seriously. And he’s not the first kid to enjoy the plum position. Alex, of Pickering, Ontario, is the fourth child to hold the CPO title after winning a competition in 2013 organized by the Canadian division of the toy company. His job is all fun and games. During his tenure, Alex played with “hundreds and hundreds” of toys,
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deciding what’s hot and what’s not in toys targeting all age groups and genders. “There are some toys I test that are really for toddlers so, personally, they Tel# 516-569-6411 Fax# 516-284-6987 don’t appeal to me. But I can definitely see how I would like them if I was 341 CENTRAL AVENUE TAKEOUT & CATERING CHALLAH & PASTRIES younger,” he said. His favorite toy are LEGO Dimensions. Must be good, considering that the CPO has recommended it. Alex’s primary role is to help promote the benefits of play and imagination and provide the inside scoop, 4 Honey Rotisserie or Meatball according to Tamar Nersesian, a Toys Marinara Southern Fried Sesame ‘R’ Us communications manager. Chicken Chicken Legs Does this job have its perks? You Expiration Date: 01/01/16 Free Pt. Any Side Dish bet! Once played with and reviewed, Free Pt. Any Side Dish the toys are his to keep. “I keep a few Butternut toys that appeal to me, and the rest I Squash Soup give away to people I know, my old day care or charities.” Seems like Alex Expiration Date: 01/01/16 Expiration Date: 01/01/16 Expiration Date: 01/01/16 would be a good person to be friends with. Alex also gets paid to literally Plus 1Pt. Any Side Dish play all day. And he has to travel for his job. SHABBOS SPECIAL* The only boy in Canada who might Rotisserie Chicken** Side Dish (Kasha, Barley, Rice) be luckier than the CPO is Alex’s Salad (Cucumber Salad or Cole Slaw younger brother, Carter, who “gets the Kugel (Potato or Noodle) Thursday and Friday Only benefits of playing with all the toys but Gefilta Fish doesn’t have to do the work.” *Add another BBQ Chicken for only $9.99 additional So why is Alex stepping down as **Substitute Southern Fried Chicken for only $1.99 additional CPO? Now that he’s reached high Expiration Date: 01/01/16 school, both the company and Alex have decided that he should pass the torch. The company has 15 lucky chil 16-18lbs Turkey Candied Yams or Mashed Potatoes dren they are considering for the role, Caesar Salad Grilled Vegetables a position unique to Canada. Nerse Soup-choice Turkey Gravy sian said the company is looking at Cranberry Relish Cole Slaw or Potato Salad candidates between the ages of 11 and Stuffing Choice of pies (Either Fruit, Pumpkin ) THANKSGIVING SPECIAL Feeds 10-15 people 13 who are outgoing, vibrant, enthusiastic and comfortable in front of the camera. Alex’s advice for the child who will fill his shoes: “Make the most out of it Cupcakes or Seven and have fun because it is toys.” Large Chocolate Layer Cake Great advice from someone who is Chip Cookies retiring at the age of 13.
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The Nose Knows
Ever smelled something that brought back a memory of something from years gone by? The sense of
smell is probably the most unappreciated of the five senses, but is extremely valuable to our quality of life. Sissel Tolaas, an artist and researcher, seems to be obsessed with life’s smells. She specializes in cataloguing and replicating the world’s smells, essentially putting experiences in a bottle so they can be uncorked later. For over a decade now, Tolaas and her nose have traveled to 35 cities and counting, documenting not the sights and sounds, but the scents of each location. Tolaas and other smell-obsessed researchers from across disciplines work out of a unique laboratory, called the Re_Search Lab, in Berlin. Inside are 6,763 distinctive smells contained in identical aluminum boxes, each of which emits “something,” a suitably vague term to cover all manner of smells. Tolaas has traveled all over the world collecting the globe’s scents. She’s been to Mexico City, Kansas City, Missouri, and Kansas City, Kansas and many cities in between. In fact, the Grand Arts council invited her to make a “smellscape” of Missouri’s biggest city and its similarly named neighbor. After some firsthand research – i.e. walking around with her nose in the air – Tolaas organized “a smell scavenger hunt of sorts,” during which curious locals could scratch and sniff cards marked “Municipal Court” or “Public Levee Space at Kaw Point” imbued with the carefully recreated scent of those locations. Not all the city smells are ones the visitors might choose to inhale on a normal basis (Tolaas’s exhibit in Paris featured whiffs of ashtrays and slaughterhouses), but they’re all as much a part of the city as its very streets and storefronts. It’s not easy mapping out a city’s smells. Tolaas uses volunteers to help sniff. In a recent collaboration with Harvard University, local student volunteers in Shanghai helped her identify 500 unique scents that comprised the city – mostly food, but also odors from nature, street traffic, and even the people themselves. Tolaas is dedicated to her work. She has been known to make multiple passes of the same area at different times of day to ensure that the smells she’s identifying are truly a constant presence. She’s convinced that with such attention to detail, a person should be able to navigate a neighborhood blindly, with only their nose to guide them. Having worked so long with smells, Tolaas no longer judges them
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spaghetti. Miller says wearing the spaghetti strainer allows her to express her beliefs, like other religions are allowed to do.
A spokesman for the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles says policy does not permit head coverings or hats on license photos, but exceptions are made for religious reasons. Thankfully, the colander is allowed for Miller, who would have been devastated if she left it at home. Lawyer Patty DeJuneas calls Pastafarianism a “secular religion that uses parody to make its point.” In other words, it’s a joke.
The Peanut Butter Brew
to be good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. She shuns any “hierarchy” of smells, saying that “every smell has the potential of being interesting.” Anecdotally, considering the way most cities smell on an average day, it’s probably best to keep an open mind with your fingers clamped over your nose. Especially when you’re in Manhattan on a hot summer day right before garbage pickup.
The Linguine License Victory for spaghetti and meatballs. This week, a Massachusetts agency revealed that they will allow a woman who belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to wear a colander on her head in her driver’s
license photo after she cited her religious beliefs. Lowell resident Lindsay Miller said that she “absolutely loves the history and the story” of Pastafarians, whose website says has existed in secrecy for hundreds of years and entered the mainstream in 2005. I don’t know if they had colanders in the Middle Ages, but I’m sure the Pastafarians made due with soggy
Some like it hot and some like it … chunky. Your morning cup of joe soon may turn into a spoonful of peanut butter. Launched last year, a new product called STEEM Peanut Butter is now on grocery store shelves. Besides the typical healthy fats and proteins, this peanut butter contains 170 milligrams of caffeine per two tablespoon serving – the same amount of caffeine as two cups of coffee. The developers say that because peanut butter takes longer to digest than coffee, the caffeine is released slowly throughout the day without the consumer feeling jittery. The product also contains electrolytes and protein, which “makes it perfect not only for athletes and active people,
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Yo, Brooklyn!
New York has all kinds of people walking its streets. In fact, the Brooklyn Bridge connects busy Manhattan with the ethnic streets of Brooklyn. A recent sculpture installed in Brooklyn seems to say it all: “Yo” or “Oy,” depending on where you’re viewing it from. Artist Deborah Kass created the bright yellow sculpture, titled “OY/ YO,” that was placed this week in Brooklyn Bridge Park, near the East River separating the two boroughs, according to reports. It is scheduled to remain there until August. Those viewing the exhibit from Brooklyn see “oy”; Manhattanites see “yo.”
“The fact that this particular work resonates so beautifully in so many languages to so many communities is why I wanted to make it monumental,” Kass told The New York Times. “This is New York, baby. We’ve got it all. And the sculpture covers it all.” The work is made of aluminum and paint. What does the sculpture using the two oft-used expressions by New Yorkers mean? Kass told the Times that it was best left open to interpretation. And from what we know about New Yorkers, I’m sure there are many views on how to interpret it.
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Prison Guards are Animals
Think life in prison is bad for prisoners? This may make it even worse. Indonesia’s anti-drugs czar has announced plans to guard a death-row prison island with crocodiles, tigers and even piranhas. When he first made this announcement, the government rushed to explain that it was just a joke, but on Friday, Budi Waseso said he is confident in his plan. Media quoted the National Narcotics Agency chief as saying that he had already obtained two crocodiles from a farm to study their power and aggression and may ultimately put as many as 1,000 in place to keep convicts from escaping. “The number will depend on how big the area is, or whether perhaps to combine them with piranhas,” he told reporters. “Because the [prison] personnel numbers are short, we can use wild animals. We could use tigers too — for conservation at the same time.” Piranhas, meat-eating fish with sharp teeth and powerful jaws, are indigenous to South America and are not found in Indonesia. Indonesian President Joko Widodo declared a war on what he has dubbed a “narcotics emergency” after taking office a year ago, basing his campaign on a study that showed at least 40 people a day were dying from drug use. He has repeatedly refused clemency for traffickers and more than two dozen, mostly foreign, drug
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but also for normal life,” according to the company website. But not everyone is loving the new way to jumpstart your day. So far, STEEM is only available online and in a handful of stores in Connecticut and Massachusetts, but if U.S. Senator Charles Schumer has his way, it soon won’t be sold anywhere. Schumer said on Sunday that one serving of STEEM contains five times the amount of caffeine in one can of Coke and is urging the FDA to investigate the health effects of using caffeine in peanut butter and other products, especially among children. He also fears that STEEM could pave the way for other caffeine-heavy products to enter the market. “Caffeinated peanut butter should spur the agency to address the issue of caffeine,” he said. “They should put limits on how much is allowed, particularly in snack foods and foods that are not ingested for caffeine’s sake, like Red Bull. And they should certainly require warning labels.” Maybe Starbucks should start putting warning labels on their cups as well: Users should be advised that whoever is drinking this cup of coffee has paid through the nose for their java.
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Josephine’ and the second one was the ‘Blue Moon of Josephine,’” a spokesman for Mr. Lau said.
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convicts have been executed this year after a five-year moratorium on the death penalty. In an interview with TVOne channel, Waseso rejected critics who said his plans to use animals as jailers were trampling on the human rights of convicts. “We have to look at the whole problem,” he said. “These people are murderers — mass murderers. Shouldn’t we also look at the human rights of their victims?”
$48M Diamond for a 7-Year-Old Looking for what to buy your kids for Chanukah this year? Well, whatever you buy them, you won’t be able to measure up to what Joseph Lau bought his daughter this year. The Hong Kong property tycoon, who was found guilty of bribery last year in Macau, bought a 12.03 carats cushion-shaped vivid blue diamond
mounted on a ring at Sotheby’s auction house in Geneva, Switzerland. He promptly renamed the $48.4 million diamond “The Blue Moon of Josephine” after his daughter. The sale came the day after he spent $28.5 million at rival auction house Christie’s to buy a rare 16.08-carat pink diamond — the largest of its kind to ever go under the hammer — which he renamed “Sweet Josephine.” “The first was the pink one ‘Sweet
Head of Sotheby’s international jewelry division David Bennett said the Blue Moon sale broke several records, making the gemstone “the most expensive diamond, regardless of color, and the most expensive jewel ever sold at auction.” The rock, set in a ring, went under the hammer for 43.2 million Swiss francs, with the final sale price amounting to 48.6 million Swiss francs including fees. It also fetched the highest-ever price per carat, he said, with the buyer shelling out 4.02 million Swiss francs per carat. This is not the first time Mr. Lau has bought rare jewels for his daughter. In 2009, he reportedly spent $9.5 million on another blue diamond, which he renamed the “Star of Josephine.” The blue diamond he bought this year was discovered in South Africa in January last year and was the largest cushion-shaped blue stone in the fancy vivid category to ever appear at auction.
TJH Speaks with Eli Borochov, Victim of Chevron Terror Attack Page 78
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Around the
Community SKA Pairs with Pen Pals in Israel Chessed Program at Shulamith
W
hen the attack at the Central Bus Station in Yerushalayim occurred, classmates of the niece of Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls’ Director of Religious Guidance Mrs. Elisheva Kaminetsky had just been dismissed from their school, Ulpana Tehilla, which is situated nearby. Her niece made a very moving video which was shown to the entire 11th grade, in which she spoke of the
incident with emunah and chizuk. Inspired by the video, many juniors began writing letters expressing support to the 11th grade students in Ulpana Tehilla and received responses of strength and unity in return. On Tuesday, November 10, the letters were read aloud in Mrs. Kaminetsky’s class and the pictures taken were sent to Israel, where they were shared with all the girls. The SKA juniors are so excited to keep the connection going!
A
t Shulamith School for Girls, students don’t just learn about chessed; they do it! On Friday, November 13, Rosh Chodesh Kislev, students of Class 7A and 7C went to the Long Island Living Center. They distributed dreidels with the residents’ names on them and wished each individual a Chodesh
Tov and a Happy Chanukah. The girls sang Chanukah songs, and Talia Cinamon did the play-by-play for an exciting game of kickball that the residents were having. As the girls were leaving, the residents and employees of the center asked everyone to come back and visit again soon.
The RNSP Meets with Nassau County Top Executives
On Thursday November 12, the RNSP had the privilege of meeting with Nassau County’s top executives and Police Commissioner. We thank
Nassau County Executive Ed Mangano and the Nassau County Police Commissioner Thomas Krumpter for giving us their time and the opportu-
nity to discuss the work we do and the benefits that our organization provides the communities we cover. The meeting was highly successful and we
look forward to a continued working relationship with the Nassau County Police Department.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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Did you hear the buzz? Just in time for chanukah Come visit
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Lessons Learned from Veterans
F
or the 3rd through 6th grade students at Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island, hosting Mr. Jay Kaatz, a career Army veteran, and Mr. Lester Friedman, also a veteran of the army, was a very real lesson in patriotism with a capital “P.” This was a chance to hear about young men enlisting in the Armed Services during wartime, going through the demands of basic training and then learning completely new skills by becoming helicopter pilots, guiding bombs and dropping life sustaining supplies in Southern Vietnam. At the same time it was also the chance to hear about the very real price of war. Without graphic details, it was clear to students that war, though at
times necessary to stop the spread of tyranny or expansionism, extracts a human toll and has a very steep price. Learning so much about the brotherhood of the military, reflecting on Congressional Medals of Honor, and understanding a time when 4,500 helicopters flew and sometimes crashed in a jungle very far from home, it was clear from their insightful and intelligent questions that the students were totally participating. The presentation both mesmerized and united the students with these special veterans and they left this special presentation grateful to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and thankful to everyone that keeps us safe and a free people.
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Around the Community PHOTO CREDIT: IRA THOMAS CREATIONS
THE 2ND GRADE GIRLS AT HALB RECEIVED THEIR CHUMASHIM THIS WEEK
CAHAL Workshops on Veterans Day
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hen parents entrust their children to the CAHAL program, it is because they expect a different brand of education to enable their children to learn better. Staff development is an integral part of the CAHAL program. Every year, on Veterans Day, is staff development day throughout the yeshiva world. This year, two outstanding workshops by two master educators were presented. Melody Harris has been with CAHAL for over twenty years. Any parent, or prospective parent, who sees her teach is amazed. It was no surprise that her workshop was closed out. She presented it at the Jewish Education Project’s Annual Yeshiva Day School Day of Learning, hosted by HAFTR.
Melody Harris speaking to the crowd
The topic she chose was how to facilitate communication between teachers and therapists to allow for real teamwork and collaboration on shared goals. Mrs. Harris inspired her audience by describing comprehensive approaches for creating the optimal learning opportunities for all students. Her workshop was attended by teachers from many different yeshivas, and the techniques presented were both exciting and practical. In the afternoon, the entire CAHAL teaching staff had the privilege of attending a workshop presented by Dena Isaacs, an outstanding occupational therapist, who has worked with many CAHAL students and mainstream students at Torah Academy for Girls for many years. She spoke about understanding executive functioning. She explained that there are many students, both in the mainstream setting as well as in the CAHAL classes, who struggle with these skills. Lacking these skills impedes a child’s ability to learn and be successful in all of his or her environments and not just in school. Mrs. Isaacs’ presentation included dozens of examples of strategies and teacher-designed materials that educators have used to help children develop better executive functioning skills. The CAHAL staff expressed their enthusiasm for all the information that was shared at the workshops. There was a palpable excitement as they set new goals to apply all they had learned in their classrooms.
Dena Isaacs presenting
Attendees at Veterans Day Workshop
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Around the Community
A Multitude of Merry Merchants Learn & Live his week, at the Learn & Live Make for a Magnificent Program, R’ Yehudah Deutsch came back to present the MaccaBeean Mall melacha of kotzer with lots of props
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ave you heard the BUZZ? No, we are not talking about an electronics store, but about an exciting event taking place on Sunday, November 22 when vendors will gather to present a Macabbeean Mall. Just in time for Chanukah, you will be able to purchase gift items, jewelry, linens, clothing, and toys Joining the TAG Women’s League Boutique for the first time will be Maya’s Place of Great Neck. Maya is well known for her beautiful selection of quality, stylish modest clothing for girls and ladies. Thanks to TAG, you will be able to purchase her clothing without traveling to Great Neck. Re-
turning vendors include Jewelry by Eliest as well as Lux Linens, which now features custom linens along with the popular custom tablecloths many of which are made from leather. Five Towns Judaica will provide you with all your Chanukah needs, including books and the latest CDs . A vast array of vendors will be selling designer accessories, linen sets, handbags, children’s clothing, furs and so much more. So BEE a smart shopper and head for Torah Academy for Girls, 444 Beach 6th Street in Far Rockaway on Sunday, November 22 from 9:00 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. Credit cards will be accepted with a $75 minimum purchase.
and humor with which the boys really got a taste and feel for the melacha of kotzer. Rabbi Deutsch started with some plants and dirt and a really big branch with many leaves and had some boys do some kotzer. There was
the boy on the tire swing and a soldier on a horse plus a flowerpot with a hole and much more. The boys also got to make their very own flower with a Popsicle stick and some Fruit by the Foot. It was a real tasty flower. Next week the boys will be learning ma’amer. For more information, email learnandlivefr@gmail.com.
Margaret Tietz Cares
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he Margaret Tietz Nursing and Rehabilitation Center was proud to have had a significant presence at the Achiezer ElderCare Plus event for Jewish Caregivers on Sunday, November 8, a comprehensive event sharing a wealth of information for the caregiver who is often at a loss for where to go and what to do. Our booth was filled with pertinent information on options that are available at the Tietz Center, whether it be for a long term care stay, short term rehabilitation or complex clinical care. Questions were answered in terms of insurance coverage, average length of stay for rehabilitation, and
our vast amenities available for the observant Jewish community. There was also discussion about our continued hosting of informational symposiums that share vital information with the caregivers who have taken on the daily responsibility of advocating for the quality care of their loved ones. Margaret Tietz is always present for significant events such as this conference and continues to be a resource for the community. If we can be of any assistance, please do not hesitate to contact Linda Spiegel, Director of Public Affairs at (718) 298-7838.
Kidney Donor Speaks
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n Rosh Chodesh Kislev, the boys of Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island were treated to a delicious breakfast sponsored by the women’s league. At every Rosh Chodesh the Yeshiva invites a guest speaker to speak about a topic connected to the month or upcoming yom tov. This month the boys sat mesmerized as parent Mr. Nesanel Feller, who recently donated a kidney, told the boys of his experience. Besides walking away with an appreciation and connection to a true “hero in our midst,” the boys also saw what one member of Klal Yisroel does for
another, even a complete stranger. The boys had a chance to ask questions; Mr. Feller was impressed with the maturity and depth of the questioners.
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Around the Community
Kollel Dirshu of Montreal Celebrates Second Siyum HaShas By Chaim Gold
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istory was made in Montreal on Sunday, 26 Cheshvan/ November 8 when Kollel Dirshu of Montreal celebrated its second siyum haShas. Kollel Dirshu has been in operation for more than 15 years and its members have completed the entire Shas twice – not only completed Shas but taken weekly and monthly tests on it! In recognition of this great milestone, virtually every member of Montreal’s Rabbinate attended the siyum held at the Bais Yaakov Seminary Hall. The representation of Chassidish, Litvish and Sephardic rabbanim testified to the deep esteem and reverence that the entire Montreal Torah observant community has for Dirshu. Kollel Dirshu of Montreal began 15 years ago as the second Dirshu Kollel in North America, joining its counterpart in Toronto as founding Dirshu Kollelim. The kollel began learning Masechta Nazir at Kehal Me’or Hagolah and have since been coming together every weeknight, day in, day out, traversing the entire Shas, not once but twice! Sanctifying the Mundane A major highlight of the siyum was the attendance and powerful drasha given by Dirshu’s Nasi, Rav Dovid Hofstedter. Rav Hofstedter set the tone by encapsulating the unique simcha that so characterized the evening. He said, “One of the ultimate purposes of a Jew in this world is to sanctify the mundane. The idea of a nazir is only found by Yidden. A Yid becomes holy by not being subjugated to the physical.” Rav Dovid continued, “The Zohar Hakadosh explains that the Torah goes into such detail about Sarah Imeinu, something not done regarding other women, because until Sarah no other person was able to withstand a nisayon, a spiritual test like she. She was able to remain a tzanuah even in a place of such ill repute like the house of Pharaoh in the immoral land of Mitzrayim. Until then, Adam and Chava did not pass their test. Kayin did not pass his test, even Noach did not pass his test when he left the teivah and the first thing he did was plant a vineyard to make wine.”
Rav Hofstedter asked rhetorically, “Was Noach’s action so bad? It is not assur to drink wine?” He explained that “the ultimate purpose of a person is to sanctify the mundane. Regarding Noach’s planting a vineyard, the Torah says, ‘Vayachel, Noach engaged in the mundane.’ According to his exalted level he should have planted vines for a holy purpose, to make kiddush, to bring nesachim, thereby sanctifying the mundane. “Similarly, a nazir is called a kadosh, a holy person, because he refrains from wine, from indulgence in worldly pleasures. Simultaneously, Chazal call him a sinner because he caused himself to suffer by refraining from wine. This seems contradictory. The answer is that the passuk says after he finishes his period of nezirus, ‘And afterwards the Nazir drinks wine.’” Rav Hofstedter asked, “The ‘nazir’ drinks wine? He has completed his nezirus. It should say the man drinks wine? The point of the nazir is that once he completes the nezirus he should be able to return to the mundane world and drink wine l’shem shomayim, in a sanctified way. The purpose of nezirus is not just to refrain but to also elevate oneself to be able to engage in the mundane and elevate it to holiness.” “The Antidote to the Internet is Dirshu!” “Sarah Imeinu was able to withstand the test of being in ultra-immoral Egypt. Morai V’Rabosai!” Rav Dovid exclaimed emotionally, “if there is any society steeped in immorality it is the world in which we live today! We are all akin to having seen a sotah in her kilkul and must refrain
from wine. What is our version of refraining from wine? Being part of Dirshu! Dirshu takes over your life – day and night, new learning, chazarah, tests … it never ends! It is the greatest shemirah! It is not just a seder, it becomes the most important thing in your life. “After the internet asifa that was held several years ago to highlight the spiritual dangers of the internet, several people came over to me and said, ‘The antidote to the internet is Dirshu. ’ Being part of Dirshu learning and reviewing daily, taking weekly and monthly tests is a way to live in Olam Hazeh but at the same time live a life with total focus on Olam Habah; to sanctify even our engagement in the mundane through constant preoccupation with the holy. That is what Dirshu has done in Montreal – it has transformed you and the entire city with you.” Indeed, the participation of so many of Montreal’s prominent rabbonim was a testament to their esteem for Dirshu and its mission. Among the attending rabbonim were HaGaonim, HaRav Yonsason Binyomin Weiss, HaRav Yochanan Wosner, HaRav Shaya Yaakov Portugal, HaRav Osher Mintz, HaRav Dovid Elias, HaRav Asher Greenfeld, HaRav Yaakov Elya Unsdorfer HaRav Yosef Unsdorfer, HaRav Aharon Hager, HaRav Wolf Ber Lerner, HaRav Levi Roth, HaRav Mordechai Galitzy, HaRav Yechiel Meir Katz, HaRav Dovid Merling, HaRav Shlomo Shmuel Toledano, HaRav Yaakov Meir Forkash, HaRav Yoel Chonon Wenger, HaRav Uri Deitch, HaRav Mordechai Dov Beck, HaRav Pinchos Vieder, HaRav Moshe Werner and HaRav Rosner, shlita.
Joined by the Language of the Heart The event was opened by Rav Isser Fuerst, Menahel of the Mesivta, who learns with the kollel every night. He called upon HaGaon HaRav Yonnason Binyomin Weiss, shlita, Chief Rabbi of Montreal, to deliver divrei bracha. Special recognition was given to Reb Avrohom Tzvi Moskowitz and his son, Reb Shimon Moskowitz, for supporting and being moser nefesh for the kollel. Another powerful address that ignited the crowd was given by HaRav Don Krancer, a participant in numerous programs, who addressed the importance of recognizing one’s own Torah accomplishments as a way to spur a person to even greater heights. Perhaps the words spoken by the kollel’s maggid shiur, Rav Zelig Waldman, encapsulated the uniqueness of the evening and the kollel most succinctly. Rav Waldman, who was honored with making the siyum, related that the two words most associated with the remarkable Dirshu chaburah of Montreal are achdus and consistency. The phenomenal achdus, brotherly love, between members of the kollel is legendary and the consistency, the fact that for nearly 16 years in Montreal’s bitter winter cold and snow and oppressive summer heat, the kollel members, who hail from both the downtown and uptown neighborhoods, come together: in achdus. The varied spoken languages are English, Yiddish and French but the language of the heart is identical.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
Around the Community
HAFTR High School Open House
Mrs. Joan Parmet, Director of College Guidance, addressing the parents
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AFTR High School opened its doors to more than 150 students on Sunday, November 15. Prospective members of HAFTR’s Class of 2020 filled the school alongside their parents to learn more about the Modern Orthodox Yeshiva located in Cedarhurst. More than 70 families from other neighborhood schools attended the event and all were introduced to the wonderful experiences that their children will have at HAFTR High School. Visitors learned about the unique and individualized educational opportunities that HAFTR High School has to offer both in general and Judaic Studies. The day’s program began with speeches from the HAFTR High School Principals, Ms. Naomi Lippman and Rabbi Gedaliah Oppen, in addition to short presentations by Ezra Lent, Elijah Gurvitch and Emily Kornblum, current HAFTR students. There was standing room only in the high school auditorium as guests listened to the presenters and watched a unique video presentation which highlighted the institution. Parents spent the remainder of the morning sitting in on four model
Elijah Gurvitch, HAFTR student, speaking about his experience.
lessons which included presentations by Directors of our College and Israel Guidance Departments, as well as sessions by Mrs. Rita Sinensky, Chairman of our Science Department, and Mr. Jason Gelman, Chairman of our Social Studies Department. Students were divided into groups and then ventured on a virtual tour of the school, collecting great souvenirs along the way. We look forward to welcoming all of these new families to the HAFTR High School community. Photos taken by HAFTR High Student Josh Neumann who is a member of the AV Squad.
Attendees enjoying lunch and students exploring the extra-curricular opportunities available in High School
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Around the Community
Full House for the HANC High School Open House
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ANC High School welcomed eighth grade students and their parents to its annual Open House on Sunday, November 1. Participants either pre-registered or signed in using iPads assisted by HANC geniuses. After a sumptuous breakfast, the program began with opening remarks from HANC Menahel, Rabbi Shlomo Adelman, who discussed the excellence and vibrancy that define this outstanding yeshiva. The standing-room only crowd then heard from junior, Rachel Cantor, who described her high school experience, the rigorous curriculum, the warmth, and the various opportunities afforded to the students at HANC. The opening session concluded with a creative and well-received student-produced video called, “HANC Life.” Parents and students proceeded to classrooms where they attended mini-lessons given by our esteemed faculty members in both limudei kodesh and general studies. After the lessons, the students and parents at-
and current students. The prospective students attended either an art expo or sports expo to find out more information about the extra-curricular activities available to HANC students. The students then attended a student panel, where current students answered questions ranging from academics to student life. The activities concluded with a student fair where pizza and popcorn was served, and prospective students received sweatpants.
tended a number of informational showcases. The parents attended an academic fair in the library, where the chair and directors of the various departments were on hand to answer questions about curriculum. Outside the library, high tables and stools were set up for prospective parents to view the academic profile on iPads. At our parent panel, prospective parents had the opportunity to ask questions of current parents, alumni,
At the conclusion of the Open House, guests expressed how incredible it was to be able to interact with HANC students, parents and faculty throughout the morning. One parent remarked, “What an impressive group of students! The ambassadors were pleasant, friendly and poised. The classes were advanced and interesting. It was refreshing to attend an Open House like this. It really gave us a genuine feel for the school.”
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Around the Community
Pittsburgher Rebbe on Three-Week Visit to New York Area Communities
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hassidim, supporters and admirers of the renowned Pittsburgher Rebbe of Ashdod, from all across the U.S., have been privileged to a rare, extended visit by the rebbe. Arriving in New York this past Thursday, the Rebbe, Rabbi Mordechai Yissocher Ber Leifer, shlit’’a, will be spending a total of three Shabbosim in different New York communities. The Rebbe will also be paying brief visits to cities in New York and New Jersey during the intermittent weeks. This past Shabbos was spent in Boro Park, where large crowds attended the uplifting tefillos and tischen at the Lipschitz-Menorah Hall. Jews from all walks of life, both from the surrounding neighborhood as well as from out-of-town, joined the Rebbe for the tishen and davening, filling the hall and the bleachers to capacity. Gracing the dais were some of the most prominent dayanim of Boro Park’s various kehillos, including the Skverer, Belzer Dayanim, as well as Harav Gavriel Zinner shlit”a. The rebbe’s host for the duration of Shabbos was the well-known philanthropist and machzik Torah, Reb Avrohom Pinchos Berkowitz, who also hosted a most uplifting Melave Malka at his home. During the week, the Rebbe received hundreds of visitors and petitioners to whom he dispensed sagacious counsel and effusive warm brachos.
An Opportunity for Partnership The rebbe’s visit coincides with the forthcoming completion of a brand new campus for the Pittsburgher Yeshiva Litze’irim. In addition to a large, magnificent Bais Medrash, the new campus will have a proper kitchen and dining facilities and a two-story dormitory wing. The Rebbe has undertaken this journey abroad, with a grueling schedule of communal receptions and private visits, to raise desperately needed funds for the array of Pittsburgher Torah institutions which are flourishing in Ashdod. The Talmud Torah, Yeshiva and Kollel, comprising several hundred students, have earned considerable acclaim across Eretz Yisroel. At the same time, these
institutions are struggling heroically to maintain their financial viability. A major source of support during this difficult financial period in Eretz Yisroel has been the Rebbe’s Parnes Hayom initiative. The outstanding zechus of underwriting the cost of Mosdos Pittsburgh’s operations for a single day earns the donor a virtual Yissachar-Zevulun partnership in its myriad achievements. The Parnes earns an eternal share in the merit of all of the Torah learned that day by the students and staff of the Yeshiva, with many of them experiencing outstanding personal yeshuos in their family or parnassah. As with all the rebbe’s visits abroad, the mission of this trip is twofold. It is to provide the communities of the Diaspora with opportunities for partnership in building the essential infrastructure for one of its fastest growing regions of Eretz Yisroel. Additionally, the Rebbe utilizes his visits abroad to personally connect with Jews from across the spectrum, dispensing encouragement, insight and abundant blessing. The Legendary Pittsburgher Warmth The tradition of making chizuk missions to the Jewish communities in the U.S. can be traced to the Rebbe’s lineage dating back almost a century. The rebbe’s grandfather, the Tzidkas Yosef zt”l came to in America from Europe in 1926, establishing his Chassidic court in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, back when these shores were a spiritual desert. Heir to the illustrious Nadvorna dynasty dating back some six generations, the Rebbe shlit”a, as his father and grandfather before him, serves as a virtual bridge, bringing the vibrant and dynamic world of prewar Chassidus to contemporary Jews, regardless of their level of affiliation. The Rebbe’s father, Reb Avrohom Abba zt”l continued this tradition as the “Tchernowitzer Rebbe” in Newark, New Jersey. Upon the passing of his father in 1966, Reb Abba moved to Pittsburgh and became known as the second Pittsburgher Rebbe. Several years later he transplanted the Pittsburgher chassidus to Eretz Yisroel, settling in the secularly oriented port
town of Ashdod. At the rebbe’s tisch, one can find Jews from literally every affiliation, traditional and secular, sitting side by side or dancing shoulder to shoulder in the trademark spirit of Pittsburgher achdus and ahavas Yisroel. The Rebbe’s effusive warmth and genuine caring draws followers and admirers from across the spectrum. With his own chassidim, the Rebbe’s relationship is that of a father. The Pittsburgher Mosdos serve a student body spanning the entire Jewish spectrum from the local community and beyond. The Rebbe forges and maintains a personal relationship with every student in the Yeshiva. In addition to delivering formal shiurim, he tenderly nurtures the unique strengths of each student to their fullest potential. The Kollel for married scholars has several programs and schedule for high-level Torah study at all hours of the day. Pittsburgher chassidim today grace the ranks of Klal Yisroel’s foremost communities around the world, including New York, New Jersey, California and London as well as major cities across Eretz Yisroel. The Rebbe’s Itinerary The rebbe will be spending this coming Shabbos, Parshas Vayeitzei, in the Kew Gardens Hills community in Queens. Davening will be at Kehilas Ishei Yisrael, Rabbi Marcus’s shul. Friday Night Tisch and Shacharis will be at Yeshiva Ohr Chaim. Mincha & Shalosh Seudos will be at Cong. Ohel Yitzchak, Rabbi Arieli’s shul. Havdala will take place at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Zishy Barth, at 8:00
PM. The rebbe’s hosts in Queens are the distinguished Mr. & Mrs. CharlesEdouard Gros, where he will remain until Tuesday, November 24. An honorary reception will be held for the rebbe on Tuesday in Far Rockaway, hosted by Mr. and Mrs. Michael Spiegel at their home, at 630 Meehan Ave. Wednesday and Thursday, November 25-26, the rebbe will be in Lakewood, where he will meet with the Roshei Yeshiva and rabbonim and receive personal audiences. A reception will be held at the home of Dr. Moishe Todres, a close chossid of the rebbe, at 269 Ridge Ave. The following Shabbos, Parshas Vayishlach, will be spent in Long Beach. Talmidim and chassidim of the rebbe from around the world will travel to be with the rebbe and to bask in the uplifting Pittsburgher ruach. On Motzei Shabbos, a gala reception will be held for the Long Beach and surrounding communities. For additional information or to schedule an appointment, please contact Rabbi Shmuel Einfeld at 347989-6821.
Dr. Deb’s Wise Parenting Advice Page 124
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Around the Community
Assemblyman Todd Kaminsky Speaks to DRS Students
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RS seniors had the privilege of hearing from New York State Assemblyman Todd Kaminsky on Monday. Assemblyman Kaminsky, a former federal prosecutor, spoke about his career and civics as well as the importance of honesty and having a good work ethic. The assemblyman awarded a proclamation to Senior David Herman, a Seimens Regional Finalist, for his tenacious work ethic and accomplishment. Kaminsky also spoke about his work in the State Assembly, advocating on behalf of his district and its Jewish community, and held a stimulating question-and-an-
swer session with students. The students of DRS thank Assemblyman Kaminsky for coming to speak as well as for all the work he does for the community.
Living History
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he eighth grade students at Yeshiva Darchei Torah are in the process of interviewing survivors of the Holocaust as part of the Adopt-A-Survivor program. Each
talmid has committed to retell the story of “his” survivor well into their own adulthood, ensuring that the history of Churban Europe – and the individual stories – is not forgotten.
Ninth grade students at Mesivta Shaarei Chaim building teamwork skills as they diligently work together to build a circuit in their CIJE class
HANC’s Wonderful World of Reading
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ourth graders in Mrs. Harold’s Language Arts class at HANC’s Samuel & Elizabeth Bass Golding Elementary School in West Hempstead had a wonderful time creating their “Cereal Box Book Projects.” After reading a book of their choice, the students crafted cereal boxes designed to entice “buyers” to read their book. The cereal boxes had to include a short attention-getting summary, a list of the story’s main characters on the side of the box (just like a cereal’s ingredients are on the side of the
cereal box), a game pertaining to the book on the back of the box (such as maze or word search), and a summary of the book inside the box and a prize that related to the story. There was even a “best read by” date on the boxes! The students presented their projects to the class, followed by a question and answer session about the book they read. Mrs. Harold and the students were so excited with how the projects turned out and the students can’t wait to read their next books!
Survivor Regina Goodman (wife of Reb Mendel) being interviewed by Yeshiva Darchei Torah eighth graders
Yeshiva Darchei Torah eighth grade students interviewing Survivor Reb Mendel Goodman (right) as his grandson – and YDT parent – Uri Schlachter assists (center)
HANC ECC WEST HEMPSTEAD CELEBRATED ROSH CHODESH KISLEV WITH MUSIC, DANCING AND SUFGANIYOT
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
Around the Community PHOTO CREDIT: DANIEL BAR-ON
The Ventura family made Aliyah this week, one of two families from France who made Aliyah after the attacks in Paris.
STEM Sprouts in Shulamith
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ith the inception of the STEM program, Shulamith Middle Division students had their first opportunity to learn science in a whole new way. STEM stands for science, technology, engineering and math, and it is being incorporated into the science curriculum this year. The goal of the program is to encourage Shulamith students to use 21st century thinking skills to learn and to solve problems. On Monday, November 9, students learned about the Engineering Design Process and then participated in a STEM challenge. The seventh graders were challenged to construct the tallest possible tower that they could make using only thirty strands of spaghetti, three feet of tape, and three feet of string. The tower needed to be able to hold a marshmallow
at the top for a minimum of ten seconds. The eighth graders were challenged to build a catapult using only a spoon, cardboard, and a limited amount of rubber bands, tape, string, pipe cleaners, straws, popsicle sticks and twist ties. The girls quickly discovered that these challenges were more difficult than they first appeared to be. Working collaboratively, groups of students constructed innovative structures. The results were creative and clever, and most importantly, the girls absorbed the scientific principles in a fun way! We thank Mrs. Renee Sojcher for bringing STEM into Shulamith, and we look forward to many more educational challenges and innovations this year.
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Shaaray Tefilah’s New Rav and Rebbetzin Host Challah Bake and More for Students, Parents and Community
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hallah baking and ice cream sundaes. Sushi making, shiurim and roll-up-your-sleeves chesed activities. All these and more are community-wide events being
planned by Rabbi and Rebbetzin Uri and Nava Orlian of Congregation Shaaray Tefilah in Lawrence. Last week, Rebbetzin Orlian hosted twenty young women from four
HUMOR, food & family Anticipating the Chanukah Celebration DENA B. ESTRIN Author of Everyday Wholeness, Aish Hatorah Jewel Lecturer
Sunday, November 22, 2015 the 10th of Kislev at 10 A.M. at Young Israel Lawrence-Cedarhurst 8 Spruce Street THIS MONTH’S LECTURE IS BEING SPONSORED BY:
LIVIA and CHAIM JACOBS Li”n BARUCH BEN ASHER ZELIG HALEVI JUDY and RALPH SILVERMAN Li”n REB YOSEF ELIMELECH BEN YISSACHAR To sponsor a lecture email jgulkowitz@yahoo.com or call Debbie at 516-239-0494 B”H in our 26th year of unifying the women of our community!
local junior high schools in her home for a challah bake. They gathered for a shiur addressing the sources and meaning behind the mitzvah of challah and then baked and braided their own challahs. The night was capped with a make-your-own ice cream sundae activity. “The Challah Bake was such a wonderful event…fun and meaningful at the same time,” said Anni Laufer, a 7th grader at Shulamith School for Girls. ”It was a pleasure to see the girls coming together to learn and socialize while taking part in this beautiful mitzvah,” said Rebbetzin Orlian. Upcoming Events A sushi-making party at Rebbetzin Orlian’s home on Motzai Shabbos Parshas Toldos attracted older teens and young adults to roll sushi with the Rebbetzin and listen to words of inspiration from Mrs. Dena Schoonmaker, noted lecturer and mechaneches at Michlalah Seminary. Next Shabbos, Parshas Vayetzei, the Rabbi and Rebbetzin will host a Shalosh Seudos for women featuring a presentation by licensed Israeli tour guide, Ruchama Alter, who will discuss “Derech Ha’avos: In the Par-
sha and on the Trail.” “My goal is to create monthly events that allow girls and women to get together, perform chessed, think of others and give to the community while socializing and having fun at the same time,” explained Rebbetzin Orlian. In early December, local young women will gather in the Rebbetzin’s home to create and decorate Chanukah cookies, and produce special children’s Chanukah packages to be included with the Tomchei Shabbos weekly deliveries. “I am excited to host a variety of events that reach out to different age groups as this affords me the opportunity to get to know the kehilla on a deeper level and bring women together to engage in meaningful activities. This is such a warm community with such a focus and desire for personal and communal growth. The initial response to our first event has been extremely encouraging and we greatly look forward to future programs,” said Rebbetzin Orlian. To learn more about Shaaray events, contact rabbiorlian@ shaaray-tefilah.org.
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The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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Around the Community At the Yovel Celebration of Yeshivas Torah Ore
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Pride in their Rich Heritage
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n Monday, November 16, the seventh graders of Shulamith School for Girls were afforded the opportunity to travel to the Museum of Jewish Heritage in Battery Park, where they learned about Jewish life before and during the Holocaust. They saw artifacts depicting the vibrant communities that existed before the war, communities
very much like our own, with charitable organizations, shuls, shochtim and mikvaot. They learned about the rise of Nazism in Europe, the timeline of the Holocaust, and facts about the Jewish ghettos and the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. Students were divided into six small groups, allowing for a more personal and intimate tour and dis-
cussions of what they saw. The docents who led each group shared some of their own experiences and personal stories, which made a strong impact on the girls. One guide ended the tour by encouraging the girls to recognize that they are the future, and that Jewish nation’s belief in the Torah is everlasting and is the “spine that holds us up.”
After the tour, the girls walked through Battery Park, escorted by their chaperones. Thank you to faculty members, Morah Chana, Morah Hahn, Mrs. Markowitz, and Morah Schreier, and to parents, Mrs. Goldstein, Mrs. Laufer, Mrs. Schonfeld, Rabbi Schreier and Mrs. Stern, for accompanying the girls during this important educational experience.
Naomi Nachman Honored at 5th Annual KosherFEAST Media Dinner
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n the night before Kosherfest, 100 foodies “ate” the night away at T-Fusion Steakhouse in Brooklyn with a 10 course-tasting menu prepared by celebrity chef Daniel Rivera. Each course was complemented with a wine pairing by experienced sommelier Shlomo Blashka of Royal Wine. In addition to wine, cocktails featured Bartenura Prosecco, garnished with an edible Wild Hibiscus flower, a sampling of Tomintoul Scotch and a tasting of the new California brand Sukkahhill Etrog and Besamim Liqueur. Attendees included many of the pioneers and cutting-edge luminaries of the kosher food industry such as Bill Springer and Christine Salmon of Kosherfest, David Herzog found-
er of Royal Wine, and the youngest foodie guest, up and coming 13 year old Chopped contestant, chef Eitan Bernath. Premier Sponsor Cole Rosen CEO of Integrated Supplements introduced his new groundbreaking flavored Whey Isolate Protein, certified kosher dairy by the Orthodox Union. World-renowned kosher food personalities, cookbook authors, brand sponsors, and kosher foodies gathered for the evening to meet and greet, and honor six kosher food industry luminaries. Those recognized included Elan Kornblum, Kim Kushner, Douglas Soclof, Phyllis Koegel, Naomi Nachman, and Jelly Belly Candy CEO, Herm Rowland. A highlight of the evening was a surprise tribute to Norene Gilletz as the 1st recipient of the new-
ly established Gil Marks award. Gil, a beloved and respected Jewish food historian and author, lost his battle with cancer in early 2015. Each honoree was presented a keepsake WÜSTHOF knife, especially engraved for the occasion. The evening was coproduced by popular lifestyle blogger
Esti Berkowitz of primetimeparenting. com and Roberta Scher, executive editor of top kosher food and recipe website KosherEye.com. Due to the generosity of the attendees, funds from the evening’s proceeds are being donated to purchase 3 protective vests for the IDF.
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Around the Community
Veterans Day Ceremony at Andrew J. Parise Park
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eterans Day is a federal holiday that is dedicated to honoring those who have served in the United States military. It is a day to fulfill our promise to them and their families to never forget the sacrifices they have made for our nation and for our freedom. Rev. Thomas M. Moriarty, Jr., Pastor of the Parishes of the Five Towns; Rabbi Jay Rosenbaum from Temple Israel of Lawrence; Hon. Bruce Blakeman, TOH Councilman; Hon. Edward Mangano, Nassau County Executive; and Hon. Todd Kaminsky, New York State Assembly Member, along with Lawrence High School students Sherry Goldman, Jason Eras and Jerry Reyes, participated in the second annual Cedarhurst Veteran Day Ceremony. As everyone gathered along Cedarhurst Veterans Plaza brick walkway, Syd Mandel-
baum Commander Lawrence-Cedarhurst American Legion Post 339 began the opening ceremony. “We have pride in the people who gave up their lives and left their homes to protect our freedoms,” Mandelbaum said “Democracy is not just a word, it has to be spread. I am evangelical about democracy.” Special recognition was given to longtime Cedarhurst mayor Andrew J. Parise, a WWII veteran. His name and 17 others will be etched into the Veterans’ Plaza walkway in honor of their service to our nation. “I am very proud to be standing here on Veterans Day,” said Cedarhurst Mayor Benjamin Weinstock as he pointed to what became the World War I monument. “They wrote ‘The Great World War’ because nobody thought there would be a World War II.”
From L-R Front Row: Hon. Bruce Blakeman TOH Councilman, Rabbi Jay Rosenbaum Temple Israel of Lawrence, Hon. Edward Mangano Nassau County Executive, Syd Mandelbaum Commander Law-Ced American Legion Post 339, Mayor Benjamin Weinstock, Rev. Thomas M. Moriarty, Jr. Pastor of the Parishes of the Five Towns, Al Landi and Levar John Vice Commanders Law-Ced American Legion Post 339, Deputy Mayor Ronald Lanzilotta Sr and Jack Leff Law-Ced American Legion Post 339. From L-R Back Row: Frank Basile Law-Ced American Legion Post 339, Trustee Ari Brown, Trustee Israel Wasser, Clyde Schaeffe Law-Ced American Legion Post 339, and Village Administrator Salvatore Evola.
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Around the Community
Special CHAZAQ Event with Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky
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’ Dovid Orlofsky, a wellknown and popular speaker, made aliyah with his family in 1988 and served as the mashgiach ruchani in Yeshiva Ohr David for five years. He has taught in the Discovery Seminar, Aish Hatorah Fellowship, and Yeshiva Ohr Somayach and is currently on the staff of Darchei Binah Seminary and Neve Yerushalayim College for women as well as other yeshivot and seminaries.
R’ Orlofsky is a popular lecturer internationally where his combination of humor, novel insights and inspiration touch the lives of thousands. Even more listen to his recorded shiurim distributed by the Moshe Yehuda Institute. On Sunday night, November 15, hundreds of men and women came to the Beth Gavriel Community Center for a special lecture with R’ Dovid Orlofsky. The event was presented by the prominent CHAZAQ organization in conjunction with the Queens Jewish Community Council. Using humor and sarcasm, R’ Orlofsky spoke about the “Power of Kindness.” The event had a profound impact on all those who attended. For more information about upcoming events and programs, please call 718-285-9132 or visit www. CHAZAQ.org.
Dr. Lightman on Helping your Children Respond to a Tragedy Page 101
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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The Writer’s Block: The Levi Yitzchak Library’s Newest Hit Teen Program
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or children, all they need to persevere is confidence. For Tova Rosen, her inspirational push to achieve came through her experience with writing and spoken-word poetry. Rosen, a 10th grader at Torah Academy for Girls High School, is one of many local students that have found a significant interest in creative writing. They are the impetus behind the development of a community program for Jewish teenagers, which offers a forum for exploring thoughts and ideas and voicing them through poetry. To address this need, a teacher, a mother, and a community venue all teamed up in establishing the Levi Yitzchak Library’s newest innovative and “hip” program for teens, The Writer’s Block, a comfortable and creative environment for teenagers that delivers an exciting medium for writing and fosters unity and achdus. The Writer’s Block provides a
weekly environment for high school teens to enrich their creative writing skills and boost their self-esteem. Its objective is to teach local youth how to channel their inner voice and, with the necessary literary techniques and tools, manifest these feelings into powerful poetic pieces. Many
extracurricular activities for high schoolers currently exist in the community, such as art classes, dance classes, voice classes, and sports programs. However, there is a void in providing an outlet for teenagers to express themselves through writing and speaking. The Writer’s Block meets the interests of the community’s growing youth, who might not be the greatest artists or athletes but can write and have a powerful voice, a voice that could significantly make a difference for their peers, their community, and beyond. Leading the program is Rosen’s beloved and inspiring teacher, Mrs. Liane Safier. Now in her 10th year at TAG teaching 9th grade English Literature, 11th and 12th grade Creative Writing, and publishing TAG High School’s Literary Magazine, Bas Kol, Mrs. Safier has served as the epitome of a profound educator. “There are good teachers, and then there are great teachers. Mrs. Safier is life-changing. Her classroom ‘experience’ is phenomenal. I would not be where I am today without her. Her words are powerful, and she has taught me that mine are too,” said a former student, who is now a successful businesswoman and published writer. The Writer’s Block meets every Monday evening, where local teens come to the library and immerse themselves in an innovative night of creativity. In this one-hour intimate learning atmosphere, Mrs. Safier instructs, engages, and inspires. She begins each lesson by creating a group literary analysis of a few fa-
mous poems, usually focusing on one poet a week. Through her insightful presentation, the group learns a variety of new literary techniques, which, in essence, are writing tools that they can then implement into their poetry. Next, Mrs. Safier assigns a stimulating, innovative, and novel assignment to the workshop, which participants enthusiastically begin, work through, and finish. In addition to their weekly assignments, members of The Writer’s Block are also working on their thematic exhibition pieces as well as spoken-word poems, which will be showcased Motzei Shabbos on January 2, 2016 at the Levi Yitzchak Library’s Writer’s “Block Party.” “I love The Writer’s Block because it lets my imagination and creativity burst,” said TAG 10th grader, Maytal Kuighadoush. “I look forward every Monday night to finding new ways to write poetry!” “Mrs. Safier’s program, The Writer’s Block, is more than just a lesson in poetry. It celebrates creativity and discovery for any high school student who is searching for the hidden penman inside. She brings in works of literature that are thought-provoking and lead to lively group discussions. Her assignments are designed to challenge you to think outside the box. The Writer’s Block spotlights girls with ambition and originality and the ability to take that and put it on paper,” noted Tova Solomon, a 12th grader at TAG. “I am so happy to be a part of it.” While The Writer’s Block fall session filled up in two days, in the spring there will be multiple sessions of different age groups, for both boys and girls. Look out for information regarding The Writer’s Block spring session at the Levi Yitzchak Library and on the library’s website. For further inquiries, please contact Cofounder and Director of the Levi Yitzchak Library, Mrs. Lisa Hawk, at 516-374-2665 or email 5townswritersblock@gmail.com. If interested in having The Writer’s Block “workshop” come to your school, organization, or program, please email 5townwritersblock@gmail.com or call Mrs. Aviva Rosen at 646-852-0030.
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Around the Community
Bnos Bais Yaakov: A Picture Perfect Shabbaton
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hat actually is the point of having a Shabbaton? Don’t classmates see enough of each other during the week? What can they really get out of spending Shabbos together? The answer to all of the above is Sheves achim gam yachad. There is something exquisitely beautiful about spending a Shabbos with friends, davening with them, singing z’miros with them, and enjoying seudos together. When you add the concentrated doses of ruchnius and inspiration infused into every moment, as well as the regal demeanor of staff members and families – you have a truly transcendent experience to cherish and remember. This year’s 8th grade Shabbaton was entitled “picture perfect,” and its point was to elucidate for the 8th graders what constitutes perfection, how to strive towards it, and by what it might be disguised. On Leil Shabbos, the girls ate at their hosts’ homes. They met afterwards for a lovely oneg Shabbos in the Ateres Nechama Liba Sim-
cha Hall, where the girls enjoyed an inspiring speech from Rabbi Yitzhak Goodman, a Rebbe in Yeshiva Darchei Torah and father of our talmida, Chavi. Rabbi Goodman made some practical suggestions about how each girl could strengthen herself in particular mitzvos to become more resistant to life’s challenges. Interactive games designed to enhance group unity were played and divrei Torah were delivered with poise by Tzivie Scharf and Shira Becker. Shabbos morning dawned brisk and bright with the girls eager to begin their day. Davening at Yeshiva of Far Rockaway was the first order of the day. Many favorable comments were reported back to teachers and administrators about the level of tzinius and respect for tefilla that our 8th graders displayed. The seuda held in BBY was graced with the presence of many staff members and their families – most notably, Rabbi and Rebbetzin Shlomo Avigdor Altusky and Rabbi and Mrs. Armo Kuessous. Rabbi Altusky deliv-
ered a stirring message about the need for action and saying “Eileich,” like Rivka Imeinu did, as opposed to muttering “whatever,” which is the lackadaisical, non-committal response of today’s generation. Divrei Torah by Rochel Reidel, Rivka Bracha Sprung, Tzipora Salzman, and Ayelet Feder, as well as beautiful z’miros rounded out the program. Motzei Shabbos brought a different dynamic to the Shabbaton. The melaveh malka was loaded with fun, creativity, and pizza, fries, and ice cream! The riveting speaker, Mrs. Jackie Bitton, kept the girls captivated with personal stories used to illustrate the difference between being externally “picture perfect” and internally “picture perfect.” Three dance/drama performances entertained the crowd and a boisterous session of rollerblading was enjoyed by everyone. So, at the end of it, what did the girls gain from the Shabbaton? Firstly, as they were quick to note, they loved getting together with their
friends from different neighborhoods who they would not usually see on a Shabbos. They were inspired by the speeches, enthralled by the performances, and felt so very fulfilled at working together to make the Shabbaton a reality. Although much planning and effort was put forth by Mrs. Feldberger, Mrs. Kuessous, and the 8th grade teachers, every single girl in the 8th grade contributed in some way. Whether it was arranging for “picture perfect” frames for their hosts, choreographing the dances, acting in the dramatic presentation, or creating the beautiful centerpieces, the girls all got involved. And the Sheves achim gam yachad aspect, which is so pervasive in BBY, was raised up yet another notch. Kudos to the Shabbaton Heads for putting together this phenomenal event: Sara Mindl Aidelson, Bashi Bachon, Devory Blumenkrantz, Rivky Braun, Sara Tzipporah Gelbfish, Shifra Marchuk, Tamar Orgel, Chavie Tusk, and Tehila Waldman.
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Rambam Honors A Veteran
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ince its inception, Rambam Mesivta has observed Veterans’ Day as an opportunity to give back to those who have given so much in protecting America. Every year, Rambam honors a veteran and imparts to its talmidim the important of hakarat hatov and appreciation to those who defend their freedom and the religious autonomy enjoyed by all in the United States of America. This year, Rambam was honored to welcome Chaplain Avrohom Horovitz who served in the 82nd Airborne. He shared with the students remarkable stories of courage and the significance of using every possible opportunity as an opportunity to make a kiddush Hashem. He recalled a story in which he gave guidance to a non-Jewish soldier who sought him out. The man told him, “Rabbi, I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t jump out of the
planes.” Chaplain Horovitz counseled the man and was able to convince him to continue doing his duty by giving him a book of Psalms which would inspire the soldier. Years later, Chaplain Horovitz ran into the same soldier who immediately embraced him and withdrew from his pocket the very same book of Psalms which had been given to him by the rabbi all those years ago. “Rabbi,” he shouted, “I never go anywhere without this!” The chaplain also spoke about his time in Iraq and Afghanistan and how he came to serve his country and give back to a land that was so good to him. Rambam Mesivta, as is its custom every year, plans on adopting an American Unit and providing the men and women of the U.S. Army with much-needed goods. For the last twenty plus years hundreds of pounds of snacks, toiletries, books,
and personalized letters have been sent abroad from Rambam Mesivta. This “U.S. Army Package Drive,” spearheaded by Rabbi Yotav Eliach and a number of students, also features a copy of the Orthodox Union’s Prayer for the Safety of the Soldiers
placed in every box. Chaplain Horovitz was awarded a standing ovation from the young men of Rambam Mesivta who were left with a new appreciation of what sacrifice, duty, honor, and Veterans’ Day were all about.
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Why Citi Credit Cards are the New “It” Cards for Free Vacations, Flights and Hotel Stays By Eli Schreiber
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t’s expensive to live nowadays, and if you are like us, chances are you spending anywhere from one to three thousand dollars per month on your children’s tuition, grocery bills, gas and insurance, rent, utilities and other miscellaneous expenses. What if you could take that everyday spending and turn it into free hotels and vacations and extra cash? Wouldn’t it make the burden easier? Too good to be true, you say? Well, there are literally tens of thousands of people doing just that, and they are doing so by taking advantage of the numerous credit card bonus offers available when you sign up for new credit cards (otherwise known as credit card churning) and then turn those extra bonus rewards into cash or free vacations. And by now, if you follow our blog and social media accounts, you are probably aware of all this. A brief synopsis for newcomers: Credit card churning is the “art” of ap-
plying for and receiving multiple credit card approvals for their hefty signup bonuses for the purpose of earning miles and points towards upcoming personal, business or family vacations and trips. Recently, however, both American Express and Chase have restricted how many credit cards you can sign up for at any given period which has reduced the opportunity to earn free miles and points and subsequently reduced the value of both of their rewards programs. But there is good news for consumers as CitiBank has recently entered the rewards game partnering with a number of airlines and hotel chains so that Citi Thank You Points are now transferable into eleven airlines and hotel programs including the Hilton, Virgin America and Virgin Atlantic. And although CitiBank restricts how many credit cards consumers can apply for over a specific time period (you can only apply for one Citi personal card every 8 days, you can apply for no more than two Citi personal cards ev-
ery 65 days and you can apply for one Citi business card every 95 days), Citi does not have a limit on the amount of credit cards you can hold with them. Unlike American Express and Chase, you can have as many Citi credit cards as they’ll approve you for, thus making Citi ThankYou Points and other CitiBank airline rewards cards the new IT cards for vacation seekers or those who want to earn some extra pocket cash. Two great Citi offers currently available are the Citi ThankYou Premier Card, where you can earn 50,000 ThankYou Points after making $3,000 in purchases within the first 3 months of account opening and the Citi® /
AAdvantage® Platinum Select® MasterCard® where you can earn 50,000 American Airlines bonus miles* after making $3,000 in purchases within the first 3 months of account opening. *bonus offer not available if you’ve had the same card (open or closed) within the past 18 months. For a full list of credit card offers and additional information about how you can use your turn everyday spending into extra cash, free airfare, hotels and vacations please visit www.getpeyd.com. Eli Schreiber is a partner and director of marketing at Get PEYD, LLC and PEYD Travel, LLC.
Got Gratitude?
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hanksgiving may be a week away, but at Yeshiva University High School for Girls (Central) we never stop being thankful. The past few weeks of programming have been centered on the theme of gratitude. On November 11, we commemorated Veterans Day in an assembly highlighting appreciation for the American military, whose members keep us safe on a daily basis. After we opened with a schoolwide rendition of the National Anthem, Tzippora Chwat (‘16) and Nina Siegel (‘17) spoke to the student body about their relationships with United States veterans. Says Nina, “The goal of the program was to raise awareness and show our gratitude for the sacrifice and devotion that our veterans give every day in order to ensure that we live in a free country where we are blessed with the ability to practice religion freely.” Our students then watched an excerpt from American Sniper, the Academy Award-winning film chron-
icling the life of an American soldier. The short clip depicted just one of the many integral, spur-of-the-moment moral dilemmas our soldiers may face in the line of duty. Using the site Poll Everywhere, students voted on how they think they would respond in a similar scenario. The activity provided a new perspective of the armed forces, and students left with a new appreciation for the intricacies of the difficulties veterans have had to face. At our chagigah celebrating Rosh Chodesh Tishrei, students, teachers, and administrators shared the things for which they are grateful in Thanksgiving-themed costumes. As always, our dancing and singing was full of spirit and togetherness! We eagerly anticipate our upcoming school-wide Shabbaton, where activities and sessions will consider the idea of gratitude from a Torah perspective and give students a forum in which to more deeply appreciate and discuss the role of gratitude in their own lives.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
Around the Community
Shulamith Students Travel in the Footsteps of Immigrants
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n Monday, November 16, the sixth graders of Shulamith School for Girls enjoyed a memorable and highly educational trip to Ellis Island. After a remarkably quick bus ride, students made their way through security and boarded the ferry, which offered close up views of the Statue of Liberty and World Trade Center. On the island, they were escorted in small groups by their chaperones and were excited to see some of what they’ve learned and read about come to life. They tried to pass an immigration test, saw exhibits on the medical exams immigrants had to pass, and viewed a dormitory room that was used to house immigrants who were quarantined and in danger of being sent back to their countries of origin. The weather was beautiful, so each group was able to go outdoors and eat lunch near the Wall of Honor overlooking the harbor. For many students, the highlight of the trip was listening to Mrs. Gottlieb, grandmother of sixth grader Elisheva Feinberg, describe her own experience arriving in New York harbor in the last days of December 1947, just after a record breaking blizzard had shut down the city on December 26. The ship was unable to dock, so it weighed anchor and remained in the harbor until it was able to dock on January 1, 1948. It had taken two weeks for the ship, loaded with survivors of the Holocaust, to sail from Bremen, Germany, to New York. Mrs. Gottlieb remarked upon how the passengers had been miserably seasick, but when the Statue of
ME
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MRS. GOTTLIEB AND HER GRANDDAUGHTER, SIXTH GRADER ELISHEVA FEINBERG
Liberty was sighted, everyone came on deck to see it. She also explained that her father initially did not pass the medical inspection on Ellis Island, and the family agreed that if he wasn’t allowed to enter the country, they would all go back to Europe with him. Fortunately, Mrs. Gottlieb’s uncles arrived and were miraculously able to convince the officials to allow their brother and his family to enter the United States. We thank Mrs. Gottlieb and all of the other chaperones: faculty members Morah Fischman, Morah Aviva Greenberg, Morah Rotenstein, and Mrs. Steiner and parent volunteers Mrs. Naumberg, Mrs. Oami, and Mrs. Schuckman for teaming up to make the Ellis Island outing a safe, enjoyable and memorable one.
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The mesivta will welcome prospective parents who will be given an informative presentation of MSC’s high quality Limudei Kodesh and Limudei Chol program. THE MESIVTA IS ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR 9TH-12TH GRADES Mesivta Shaarei Chaim is located at Young Israel 716 Beach 9th Street, Far Rockaway, NY 11691 PHONE
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Blue Ribbon Honors Presented to Rambam in Washington, D.C.
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tudents and alumni of Rambam Mesivta can take pride in the fact that the school was honored at a special ceremony in Washington, D.C., as a Blue Ribbon School. A banner, plaque, and Blue Ribbon flag were presented to Rambam’s Rosh Mesivta/Dean, Rabbi Zev Meir Friedman, who represented the school at the educators’ conference in Washington. Representatives from the U.S. Department of Education expressed pride in all of this year’s winning schools and in Rambam Mesivta in particular.
Rabbi Friedman at Washington, D.C., Educators Conference Blue Ribbon Award Ceremony
They mentioned that Rambam was unique because it was the only high school in the entire New York State to be awarded this year and the only yeshiva in the country to be
so awarded. Organizers mentioned that Rambam might also be the only all boys Jewish school in the entire country to have ever won in the 40 year history of the program which is designed to recognize and promote educational excellence. Rabbi Friedman said, “It was strange being the only Orthodox Jew present amongst thousands of people. I felt that I was representing yeshivos in general. The mission of yeshivos is to inspire talmidim and provide them with the tools to excel. We have been fortunate that our students have produced results which have met the standards of excellence outlined in the Blue Ribbon Schools program.” Only seven high schools across the country were recognized for their educational excellence this year. Less than one half of 1% (.005) of all schools have met the requirements that match the standards of achievement of this special program. To put things in perspective, that means that 99.95 % of schools did not qualify. “Participating in the two day conference was quite an experience,” explained Rabbi Friedman. “It was clear to me that Rambam was unique, but not in the way that the organizers thought.
Rambam’s profile picture highlighted at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington, D.C., for the Blue Ribbon Awards Ceremony
Every school that was highlighted promoted their sports teams, bands, and activities associated with fun. I was amazed that our picture of boys learning (Talmud) together was a rarity in that it focused on the pursuit of knowledge.” Rav Soloveichik once explained that Avraham Avinu was a role model for all generations to come in that he was a ger (stranger) toshav (resident). He was a resident in so far as he was able to interact with society around him seamlessly and was respected
as a community leader. However, in terms of his hashkafah, values and approach to life he was a stranger. He could not eat their food, could not join in many of their activities, and his alphabet is also opposite of most languages. “I believe that our boys have met this standard in being able to demonstrate educational excellence on par with the best schools in the United States all the while maintaining the commitment to Torah and mitzvos.”
the sort of silence that even had she blown up and had an argument with Leah there might have been some tears and then life would have moved on and everyone would have gotten over it. Yet we see that both silences formed the merit which will be used to bring about the final redemption. It has been said that our world looks like it’s upside down to those that are in the World to Come. That which we ascribe much worth to in this world, like items of significant monetary value, beauty and grand large scale acts, are often ascribed the least value in the upper worlds. We can never know how significant an act is to heaven. We can only know to be careful with every action because on a heavenly scale it might hold a lot more weight than we would expect.
Our simple interactions at home in our marriage, when we keep silent rather than getting upset, might have the power to bring the redemption, just as much as Rochel’s silence in the face of Leah’s false accusations will be the merit of our ultimate salvation. May we be worthy of seeing those days and helping to bring them about.
Five Towns Marriage Initiative The Sound of Silence
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e learn the attribute of silence from Rochel Imeinu. She was able to remain silent and pass along her private signs to Leah when her father switched her with Leah on her wedding day. She was also able to remain silent when Leah became angry at her. She asked Leah to share dudaim that Reuvain had brought for her. The dudaim where considered to make a woman more likely to conceive. Leah got angry at Rochel for this request and told Rochel that it was enough that she stole her husband, but that she has no business asking for more. Rochel remained quiet although she could have easily responded aggressively, about how she really would have been the only wife of Yaakov had she not shared the signs with Leah and all the
tribes had been destined to come from her. Yet we see how Rochel remained quiet and the merit of her silence is the ultimate merit Hashem will use to bring us back from this exile. The silence that Rochel displayed was of two different kinds. One silence was in the face of adversity. It was a silence of not securing that which was rightfully hers. By keeping quiet matters played out differently than she hoped and the course of history was altered. The second silence described above by the conversation with Leah was an altogether different type; Rochel kept quiet rather than resort to anger. She allowed herself to be shamed rather than shaming Leah in turn. In the second case of silence it’s hard to say that history might have played out differently. It was
Five Towns Marriage Initiative provides educational programs, workshops and referrals to top marriage therapists. FTMI will help offset counseling costs when necessary and also runs an anonymous shalom bayis hotline for the entire community Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings, 9:30-11p.m. For the hotline or more information, call 516-4305280 or email dsgarry@msn.com.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
wv oac ohtcv ohfurc
Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island expresses our cuyv ,rfv for the great ,ufz of having
Harav Yosef Elephant t"yhka y e s h i va s m i r y e r u s h a l ay i m
inspire and encourage our Talmidim to reach even greater heights of vru, and ohna ,trh!
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Around the Community
One Room, 250 Orphans
This past Friday, erev Shabbos Parshas Toldos, the boys at Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island were treated to an incredible experience. Rabbi Boruch Chait came to the Yeshiva and led our weekly Kumzits with kugel. After sharing a vordt on the parsha, Rabbi Chait took out his guitar and harmonica and sang with the boys. The electricity filled the room and the boys got up and started dancing to the famous niggun “Yachad kulom kedusha.” The smiles on the faces of the boys reflected a true inner simcha, palpable to all present.
Rabbi Shafier of The Shmuz in Silver Spring, MD
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n Shabbos, Parshas Toldos, November 13-14, Southeast Hebrew Congregation, Knesset Yehoshua of Silver Spring (www. southeasthebrew.org) was privileged to host Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier of The Shmuz. “Our community was very much taken by Rabbi Shafier’s warmth, sincerity, humor, and insight, combined with his breadth of both Torah and secular knowledge,” says Hyam Singer of Silver Spring, who coordinated the event. “Over the course of his stay in our community, Rabbi Shafier dealt with practical issues ranging from personal growth, to bitachon
The Dating Dialogue Page 118
in troubling times, to juggling life’s many demands. His presentations were highly informative and even included practical techniques to help ensure a successful marriage. The feedback I received from members of our community was extremely positive across the board.” The Shmuz is a Torah lecture that offers a worldview on major life issues ranging from working on our middos to learning to be a better spouse, from understanding the meaning of our davening to what our purpose is in this world. Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier has been delivering these lectures across America and beyond for over a decade.
By Dovid Perl
O
n Shabbos, Parshas Chayei Sara, the retreat center in Yesodot, Israel, was filled with emotion as 250 yesomim, ages 8-18 stood together, saying kaddish for their parents. Who brought all these children together? The credit goes to Boneinu, a project by Tov V’chesed. Project Boneinu is specifically dedicated to help young yesomim deal with their life’s situation and is run by R’ Yaakov Eliezer Shisha and R’ Meir Aker. Besides for Boneinu’s center where orphans come to eat, do homework, or find a listening ear, Boneinu arranges trips, Shabbatons and learning programs to keep these orphans happy and occupied. This past Shabbos was the culmination, as they all traveled to Yesodot to spend 24 indescribable hours among people who understand their plight. Asking a 9-year-old boy if he can describe his Shabbos, he said, “I’m in a hurry now, I need at least an hour.” This Shabbos tended to their body, heart and soul, as they were delighted with gifts, gourmet meals, music, dancing, and individual attention given to each child. The highlight of the Shabbos was when a 6-piece band and choir lifted their spirits as they all danced away until early morning. As the night drew to a close, R’ Yaakov Eliezer
Shisha, the founder of Tov V’chesed, made an exciting announcement: The Boneinu house will move to a new and expanded facility, slated to begin construction the coming week. The facility will house a chef on premises to prepare warm meals for the orphans, it will sport a rooftop porch, 6 private session rooms and an expanded study. As Rabbi Shisha says, “Tov V’chesed is about ending the suffering of Israel’s children. Whether it’s an orphan or hungry child we’ll make sure to give them the childhood they deserve.” Tov V’chesed can be reached at 845-517-0656, info@tovvchesed.com, www.tovvchesed.com.
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The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Around the Community
The warm atmosphere which permeates the classrooms and halls of Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island overflowed this past Motzai Shabbos, as the boys of Rabbi Eisikovic’s 7th grade class were invited to their Rebbi’s house for a melave malka. The boys reviewed their Gemara with a game of charades and were treated to sumptuous personal pies of pizza, where they put on their own toppings. A great time was had by all. A call out to and thanks to Rabbi and Mrs. Eisikovic who opened up their home to the boys with such a festive reception.
ASSEMBLYMAN TODD KAMINSKY WITH GAIL AND DAVID LAZAR, WHO WERE HONORED THIS WEEK AT THE YOUNG ISRAEL OF OCEANSIDE’S MELAVA MALKA
Focus on Middos at Yeshiva of South Shore
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his year at Yeshiva of South Shore, the Mechina boys grades 6 through 8 have been benefitting from a strong focus on middos. Each Rosh Chodesh, a special guest speaker comes to a lavish breakfast with engaging divrei Torah and enthusiastic singing, followed by an exciting activity and incentive program kicking off a focus on a new middah for the month. This month, the theme is zerizus, doing mitzvos quickly with enthusiasm, and the Mechina was privileged to hear from Rabbi Yaakov Trump from Young Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst. The ruach and dancing was followed by an exciting round of “Grab the Mitzvah” in the gym and an introduction by Rabbi Rafi
Draiman, Menahel of the Mechina, to the mont’’s incentive programs starting with students arriving to davening on time and ready each day. Last month, Rabbi Zvi Ralbag, Rav of Beis Ephraim Yitzchok “Island” Shul, spoke to the boys to introduce seder venikayon, organization and cleanliness, followed by a game of “Broom Hockey,””which led to a successful focus on keeping our learning environments clean and organized as warranted in a Torah setting. The program has met with much enthusiasm, and we look forward to seeing great continued success.
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The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
Around the Community
Rav Dov Yaffe, mashgiach of the Yeshiva in Kfar Chasidim and one of the senior gedolim of Eretz Yisrael, visiting Yeshiva Darchei Torah on Monday
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Chaverim of Queens Trains New Volunteers
C
haverim of Queens, in memory of Mr. Jack Friedman, started in January 2008 with just 10 volunteers. Over the years Chaverim has responded to thousands of calls for assistance throughout the Queens community. Due to a recent increase in call volume, Chaverim of Queens has initiated an aggressive recruitment campaign to provide the fastest response times possible. The new volunteers were enthusiastic and eager to start helping so Chaverim of Queens conducted a training session in Kew Gardens Hills, Queens, this past Sunday afternoon to show the new volunteers how to service those who call Chaverim for assistance. The training was organized by dedicated members Moshe Vatch and Tzvi Meltzer. The sessions were led by longtime Chaverim members Jonathan Kaplowitz, Yaakov Landau, and Josh Greenblatt. Refreshments were sponsored by Nosson Cyperstein. The volun-
teers were shown how to boost dead batteries, change flat tires, and help people who are locked out of their cars and houses. Chaverim of Queens accepted 15 new volunteers bringing the total to nearly 75 dedicated members. “While taking in new volunteers will help us to cover more calls in an efficient and timely manner, there is also a need to help to provide equipment for active volunteers as well,” said coordinator Avigdor Cyperstein. “We plan to have a new website soon which will make it easier for people in the community to make donations to Chaverim.” As Chaverim of Queens enters its eighth year they are looking forward to continuing to provide their services for the entire Queens community. Chaverim is still actively recruiting new members. To become a volunteer, please email ChaverimOfQueens@yahoo. com. Donations can be mailed to Chaverim of Queens, 84-20 118th street, Kew Gardens, NY 11415.
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Smiling Through the Pain
A Conversation with Eli Borochov as He Heals after a Terrorist Attack By Susan Schwamm
As he was walking me to the door, Ronen Borochov related to me that his children have a sign hanging on their bedroom walls: Keep Smiling. He said that they know that their father impresses that message upon them every day – to always see the good in everything that comes your way. Just a few minutes earlier, as we were chatting around the Borochov dining table, I asked them if they would be going back next year to Chevron on Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sara. “Next year,” Ronen Borochov smiled, “I’ll be taking my whole family.”
Eli, Dovi Weiss, director of Yeshiva Shavei Chevron, and Ronen
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he Borochov family mantra is not just words – they’re words that they take to heart and live with every day. Eli, the Borochov’s 20-year-old son who was shot by a sniper in Chevron last week, smiles and speaks softly as we discuss his ordeal. He stresses that he’s on the road to recovery and emphasizes his gratitude to Hashem that the bullet missed his muscle, nerves and bone. “It’s chasdei Hashem,” the family declares. A doctor at the hospital told Ronen that Eli was truly fortunate. “Zechut Avos,” the secular physician proclaimed. This is the third time Eli made the trip to Chevron
on Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sara. This year, he was joined by his father, Ronen; his brother, Yosef; and a friend. On Friday, they traveled from Yerushalayim to Chevron. Thousands of people spend Shabbos in Chevron on the week we read about Avraham purchasing Me’aras Hamachpela from Efron Ha’Chiti. Some sleep in tents and others in people’s homes. The Borochovs were spending Shabbos in Yeshiva Shavei Chevron, where they run a program for people coming to Chevron. They davened Mincha in Me’aras Hamachpela and then headed back there after dressing for Shabbos. It was then that Ronen heard a boom and saw his son crumple to the ground. “I fell to the floor in a lot of pain,” Eli recalled. “I
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015
“In Me’aras Hamachpela.” “No, where was he hurt?” “In his leg,” Ronen told her. Eli’s wound is healing nicely now but he is extremely lucky. The bullet that pierced his thigh left only an entrance wound. Doctors couldn’t figure out where the bullet went; it wasn’t inside. Later the IDF found it near the place of the attack. Thankfully, the bullet didn’t nick an artery, major blood vessel, or a nerve. Hopefully in a few weeks Eli will be able to walk as he did before.
Yosef, Ronen and Eli Borochov at Me’eras HaMachpela
wasn’t sure what happened but I was in a lot of pain.” A bullet had pierced his inner thigh and blood was pooling on the floor. Because of the myriad people who spend Shabbos in Chevron on Parshas Chayei Sara, there are hundreds of members of the
army and security forces patrolling the city. The IDF even has their own snipers on roofs around Me’aras Hamachpela to ensure the safety of the people visiting. “I was devastated – I knew he was shot,” Ronen related. “I screamed out, ‘Sniper.’ The soldiers didn’t
Eli in the ambulance. He is using his yarmulka to cover his face from reporters.
believe it. This is unheard of.” Soldiers quickly picked Eli up and walked him to a medical tent nearby. He began to feel woozy from the loss of blood and the shock of the attack, and doctors realized that he needed medical attention. They rushed him to Shaarei Tzedek hospital with an IDF escort. The hospital had at least a dozen doctors waiting for Eli to evaluate his condition. They had thought he was wounded in the stomach. Devora, Eli’s mother, said she only processed what really happened a while after Ronen called her. She recalled, “Ronen told me, ‘Eli had an accident, but he’s fine.’ I asked him, ‘What happened?’ ‘Eli got hurt,’ Ronen said.” “Where?” she asked him.
After the attack, a spokesman for the hospital told the Borochovs that she was contacting the American embassy on their behalf. She was surprised that the embassy had not yet contacted them on Sunday when she stopped by again. “Thank G-d we didn’t need them. We have support within Israel. I was with my son. But where was the American embassy?” Ronen wonders. “An American citizen is hurt in a terrorist attack and no one contacts them?” On the government website, travel.state.gov, it states that the U.S. embassy is available for U.S. citizens who are victims of crime overseas. “If you are the victim of a crime overseas,” the website states, “contact the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate.” It continues, “When a U.S. citizen is the victim of a crime overseas, he or she may suffer from physical, emotional or financial injuries. It can be more difficult because the victim may be in unfamiliar surroundings, and may not know the local language or customs. Consular officers, consular agents, and local employees at overseas posts know local government agencies and resources
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in the country where they work. We can help.” On Tuesday, a few days after the shooting, Ronen was contacted by the consular at the embassy. In the email, Ronen was told that the embassy would be closed on Wednesday for Veteran’s Day. Ronen reached out to them again on Friday and as of Saturday night had still not received word from the U.S. embassy in Israel. A politician that did not want to be named told Ronen that the investigation into the incident could take months. He says the embassy should at least acknowledge the faux pas or apologize for their lack of communication. The Israeli government made sure to extend themselves as much as they could to the Borochovs. Their medical bills have been taken care of and their plane ticket (they had to upgrade to first class to accommodate Eli’s wounded leg) have been paid for as well. Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon visited Eli. But, the Borochovs wonder, where was our country? They are concerned for other Americans in Israel, thinking of all those yeshiva and seminary students who don’t have their parents with them. If, G-d forbid, something happens to them who will be there for them and take responsibility for their care? The Borochovs will hopefully be in Chevron next year, davening at Me’aras Hamachpela, a holy site that our forefather Avraham purchased for our nation thousands of years ago. Last week’s terrorist attack on their son won’t deter them from enjoying what is rightfully ours. “They can’t bully us. We have a right to be there,” Devora says.
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home
R E M E M B E R I N G
Yisroel Simcha Possick a”h By Hylton Lightman, MD, DCH, FAAP
Y
isroel Simcha Possick ben Aharon Chaim, the son of Ahron Possick, Esther Sara Possick, brother of Menachem and predeceased by his sister, Tema Miriam a”h, epitomized a neshama afflicted with more nisyonos than Iyov. Despite this, he didn’t let himself be defined by his disease. He tried to overcome all the pain and suffering with which Hashem inflicted him through strengthening his emunah and bitachon. Yisrael Simcha’s challenges in life were beyond the understanding of the medical and nonmedical worlds. Pain was a constant companion yet he never requested sympathy nor did he wallow in self-pity. A human being who encouraged others to strive for their potential, Yisroel Simcha gave people chizuk. His short 26 years inspired many, including his friends, rabbonim, those at Chai Lifeline, and his team of medical professionals. We remain awed by the depth of his personality, his astute intellect, affable nature, and sharp, caustic wit. As a physician, I give testimony to the debilitating, painful and overwhelming onslaught to his physical being. However, Yisroel Simcha never complained. Never hostile nor negative, he was only appreciative. Until his illness became too draining and complicated, Yisroel Simcha drove his own car and enjoyed an independent life surrounded by a cadre close friends. The Possick Shabbos table was consistently filled with young people coming to enjoy Yisroel Simcha’s humor and thoughts on world events. Even though his leg was amputated, he looked forward to rehabilitation and being fitted with a prosthesis so he could resume driving his car. His mother’s dedication to tending
to his needs, bandaging him, and taking care of his debilitating skin condition 24/7 is beyond words. Making herself aware of new developments that might help Yisroel Simcha, she tenaciously pursued drug, technology and insurance companies to ensure that treatments would be made available to him. Menachem devoted himself to Yisroel Simcha’s wellbeing. An attorney, Menachem missed many days of work to be present with his beloved brother over the last year during which he endured multiple hospitalizations. They were not only brothers: They were best friends and confidants. The last three months were unimaginably grueling for Yisroel Simcha and his loved ones. Confined to an ICU, there were multiple interventions which caused more pain than before. Yet Yisroel Simcha soldiered on, determined to have an independent life and give to humanity. His positive demeanor persisted, and he never ceased expressing bitachon and emunah. He remained steadfast in his total acceptance of Hashem’s world and never remarked even once that life is unfair. Yisroel Simcha was a neshama that is rare: Few people are capable of understanding the purity of his soul. We can only wonder, as Rabbi Feiner said at his levaya, when such a neshama is taken from this world, is it to prevent untold tragedies from unfolding? The Far Rockaway-Five Towns community has suffered a tremendous loss by the petira of Yisroel Simcha: For Klal Yisroel at large, it’s even more so. It has been a privilege and pleasure to have known Yisroel Simcha, to have been involved in his medical care, and to see the love and dedication of a family for a son and brother. Yehi zichro baruch.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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Yisroel Simcha Possick a”h A Life of Giving By Susan Schwamm
Yisroel Simcha with Shmuel Lowinger, his brother Menachem and R’ Yoni Feiner
Even as a young boy, Yisroel Simcha was wise. He was able to see right through a person – straight into their soul – and know if they were genuine or not, Rabbi Shimon Dachs, principal of Mesivta Chaim Shlomo, recalls. Rabbi Dachs met Yisroel Simcha when he was in seventh grade and came to Yeshiva Darchei Torah. As he got older, Yisroel Simcha became even wiser and smarter. He was the person who many people came to for guidance and chizuk.
E
munah and bitachon are words that are synonymous with Yisroel Simcha. He was not one to moan about his challenges or cry out in pain. In fact, Rabbi Dachs says, he didn’t even know that the illness that Yisroel Simcha was afflicted with was so painful until the levaya. Challenging? Yes. Uncomfortable? Yes. But Yisroel Simcha didn’t ask for sympathy or leniencies because of what he was going through. He soldiered on. Despite being out of school for
many days because of his condition, Yisroel Simcha continued learning at home. He took his regents, his finals, and proudly received his high school diploma. There were no shortcuts requested by him. After high school, he wanted to help advocate for teens who were challenged. Like with everything in life, Yisroel Simcha made sure to give it his all. In fact, Yisroel Simcha was able to drive; he even skied. He would visit Eretz Yisroel yearly. No one talked down to him. He was sharp. Yisroel Simcha didn’t want to be seen as someone who was handicapped by his disease. Yes, at times he needed help, but he never wanted pity or sympathy. He was viewed as someone who happened to have an illness – but that condition never defined him. Yisroel Simcha made sure to enjoy life. When asked what Yisroel Simcha enjoyed, Rabbi Dachs replied simply, “He liked life. He liked everything.” He enjoyed music. David Bendavid recalls that Yisroel Simcha enjoyed the singing and dancing at minyan on Shabbos. “He would sit there in the corner of the room in his wheelchair and bandages all over his hands smiling and holding his brother Menachem’s hand, singing and swaying back and forth,” David said. “I felt as if I was in the midst of a tzaddik.” He liked people. And he was always giving. Rabbi Dachs says that when he went to pay a shiva call the people there were trying to remem-
ber when was the last time they helped Yisroel Simcha. It was as if he was always the one who was giving, offering chizuk or guidance or insight into an issue. If a person was uncomfortable or having a hard day, Yisroel Simcha was able to talk them out of it. He was able to penetrate into the heart of an issue, clarifying and illuminating. People who spoke with him came away happier. A true giver, Yisroel Simcha wanted to make his friends comfortable. One time, his friend wanted to watch a video, and even though it was something that Yisroel Simcha wasn’t interested in doing, he watched it together with him. A true giver subdues their needs in order to contribute to the needs of others.
It was as if he was always the one who was giving, offering chizuk or guidance or insight into an issue.
Yisroel Simcha came from a family of givers. Mrs. Esther Possick, his mother, would bandage Yisroel Simcha daily and apply lotions to his skin. When in high school, she
Yisroel Simcha in his eighth grade yearbook photo
was the one who would drive him to school. She spent hours with him in the hospital and dedicated her life to her son. Yisroel Simcha’s brother, Menachem, was more than just a brother to him. He would take off from work to help in his care, bring him to events and to shul, and cared for him. It’s not by chance that his parents named him Yisroel Simcha. In his short 26 years, Yisroel Simcha helped klal Yisroel appreciate life. He brought joy to others and he showed them that life is precious, life is good. He overcame his challenges with determination and grace. And he showed us how to live a life connected to Hashem and to His people. Yehi zichro baruch.
NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
TJH
Centerfold
Law and Disorder Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will immediately begin to itch. Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to right out of arm’s reach. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the silliness of your act. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Law of Traffic Lanes - If you change lanes while in slow-moving traffic, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Showers- The person that you were trying to get through to for two days will call you back when you are in the shower. Law of Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. Law of Broken Machines - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Law of Hot Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Law of Doctor Visits - If you don’t feel well and make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. If you don’t make an appointment, you’ll stay sick. Daniel Murphy’s Law- After batting .529 with four home runs, six RBI and six runs scored in the NLCS, winning the MVP in that series and having his play compared to that of Babe Ruth, the Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy’s bat fell asleep in the World Series and he committed two massive errors which pretty much cost the Mets two games. (Sorry, I still didn’t get over it.)
Riddle me
this?
You are piloting a plane and getting ready for takeoff when the flight attendant makes the pre-flight announcement over the PA system: “Ladies and gentlemen welcome aboard flight 182, with direct service from New York to Chicago. You are under the exclusive care of our wonderful pilot John.” Being an avid TJH centerfold reader, she then says, “Well, let’s play a game and see if you guys can figure out your pilot’s full name. His last name is made up of two syllables: the first one is the name of a flower which is red and has thorns, the second syllable is the opposite of ‘lady.’” Can you figure out the full name of the pilot? See answer below
Answer to riddle: Unless you answered with your own name you answered incorrectly because, after all, “you are piloting the plane.” As far as the announcement by the tired flight attendant regarding the pilot being John Roseman, she is just plainly wrong (pun definitely intended. Why do people always say no pun intended whenever they purposely use a pun … especially when they do it for phun?)
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The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015
It’s Electric 1. Who created the first commercial electric power plant? a. Thomas Edison b. Benjamin Franklin c. Albert Einstein d. Robert Goddard 2. One lightning bolt has enough electricity to power how many homes? a. 500 b. 1,500 c. 10,000 d. 200,000 3. What did Thomas Edison do to demonstrate how his electricity was safer than his competitor’s electricity? a. He provided free fire insurance to any home that switched from his competitor’s electricity to his. b. He stuck a wet piece of metal in a 10,000 watt socket in the middle of Times Square c. He went to different towns and tried selling his competitor’s electricity. When potential customers would point out the safety flaws, he would respond, “That is why you should actually buy my prod-
uct, not the inferior electricity that I have been talking about for the past hour.” d. He electrocuted an elephant. 4. The energy source used most in the U.S. to generate electricity is: a. Natural gas b. Coal c. Nuclear power d. Petroleum 5. What does a transformer do to an electrical current? a. Changes its voltage b. Adds more watts c. It turns electricity into power d. It prevents it from catching fire 6. Electrical currents are measured in “amps,” which is an abbreviation for: a. Amplifier b. Ampiliospholisitismosis c. Amperes d. Ampidization ANSWERS: 1. A-The first central power plant was built by Thomas Edison and
began generating electricity on September 4, 1882. It had one generator and it produced power for 800 electric lightbulbs. Within 14 months, it had 508 subscribers and 12,732 bulbs. 2. D 3. D- Edison used his competitor’s alternative current system to publicly execute an elephant, named Topsy, which belonged to Coney Island’s Luna Park. Her owners needed to get rid of her and had her killed to generate publicity for the park. 4. B- Close to 50% of electricity in the U.S. comes from coal 5. A- Transformers change the high-voltage electricity that travels through transmission lines into the low-voltage electricity you want in your house. 6. C VOLTAGE KEY: 5-6 correct: You are a thousand watts, my friend! 3-4 correct: You are like a 60 watt light bulb – useful, good to have around but not very exciting. 0-2 correct: Major power outage!
You gotta be kidding A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a brandy.......................... .............................................................................................................................................................................. ..........................................................................................................................................and coke.” The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?” The bear responds, “I dunno ... I’ve always had them.”
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Torah Thought
Parshas Vayeitzei By Rabbi Berel Wein
R
ashi comments regarding the opening word of this week’s Torah reading that when a righteous person departs from a community, the loss is noticeable and is damaging to that community. In most instances, the community or even the righteous person’s own family and friends, pay little attention to his or her presence while the person is amongst them. It is only when that person is no longer with them, does their true value and mettle become apparent. And then it is usually a case of too little, too late. Yaakov is a low profile person in his community. It is Eisav who makes
the headlines, gives the interviews and media appearances. He is the outside man while Yaakov is quiet, studious, private and not obtrusive. But communities, especially in the Jewish world, are built upon the righteousness …. the quiet Yaakovs and not on the bombast of noisy Eisavs. I have often commented that the evil cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed totally not because of the millions of evildoers who were their inhabitants but rather because there were not ten righteous and good people who lived in their community. Judaism values and prizes the
worth of a single individual. It never deals with numbers and majorities alone. It strives to create righteous individuals by whose mere presence alone societies are enhanced and the influence of good prevails. It is therefore sad that the value of such good people is noticed most significantly only by their departure and absence. When Yaakov arrives at the house of Lavan, Lavan is financially impoverished. He is forced to use his daughters as his shepherds – a shameful matter in his place and time. Yaakov’s presence in Lavan’s home over the next decades will cause him to become rich and powerful. In a rare moment of candor, Lavan admits to Yaakov “that the L-rd has blessed me because of you.” All of history indicates the blessings that have occurred to countries, empires and civilizations simply because the Jewish people resided in their midst. Nevertheless, this realization does not prevent anti-Semitism and violence against Jews from
being justified and encouraged. Lavan is the perfect paradigm for this warped behavior. He knows that his success is a result of Yaakov’s presence in his home and yet he pursues Yaakov and hopes to somehow destroy him. This paradoxical type of mindset is abundantly and clearly visible in our current world. We are cursed by others not for our actions but simply because we have the temerity to exist. Good people were not allowed to live in Sodom. Jews are not to be allowed in the Land of Israel. The influence of good is an intolerable idea in a world committed to evil and falsehood. Yet, Spain, Portugal and Poland want the Jews to come back. Europe wants to be free of Jews but somehow to retain the presence and benefits of Jews living in its midst. It is a warped and complicated world that we live in. Like Yaakov, there is little that we can do about it except to continue to soldier on. Shabbat shalom.
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Torah Shmuz
Parshas Vayeitzei The Sensitivity of a Tzaddik By R’ Ben Tzion Shafier
“Then Yaakov kissed Rachel. And he raised his voice and wept.” Bereishis 29: 11
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hen Yaakov met Rachel at the well, he experienced conflicting emotions. He felt tremendous joy at having finally met his bashert, yet he raised his voice and cried. Rashi explains that he cried because he came emptyhanded. He said, “My father’s servant came with ten camels laden with gifts and finery, and I come with empty hands.” Rashi goes on to explain to us why he didn’t bring a gift for Rachel. When Yaakov found out that Eisav was plotting to kill him, he fled from his father’s home. Eisav sent his son Alifaz to chase down Yaakov. Alifaz was a tzaddik, and when he approached Yaakov he said, “I can’t kill you because you are an innocent man. On the other hand, what will be with the command of my father?” Yaakov said to him, “A poor man has the halachic status of a dead man. Take my money, and it will be considered as if you killed me, so on some level you will have fulfilled your father’s words.” As a result, Yaakov came to the well emptyhanded. When it was time to propose to Rachel, he didn’t have the gifts that would be expected, and so, he raised his voice and cried. This Rashi become difficult to understand when we focus on who these people were. The Avos may have walked the same planet as do
you and I, but they lived in a very different orbit. Their every waking moment was occupied by thoughts of Hashem. They lived and breathed to attain closeness to Hashem. That was the focus of their lives and existence. It was the only thing that mattered to them.
come without a gift. On some level, it isn’t treating her with the kavod due to her, and that caused Yaakov pain – so much pain that he raised his voice and cried. On some level, it was a slight to the honor of Rachel. It wasn’t befitting her significance, so it moved him to tears.
DID RACHEL REALLY CARE ABOUT TRINKETS?
EVERY PERSON HUNGERS FOR RECOGNITION
For many years, Rachel knew that she was to marry Yaakov and be a matriarch of the Jewish people. You have to assume that when she finally met her bashert, she was overcome with joy. Here was the man that she had waited for! Here in front of her was this great tzaddik, the man of her dreams, offering to marry her so she could take her place in destiny. Her very life’s ambitions and desires were now coming to fulfillment. Could you envision any greater joy? At that moment, it is hard to imagine that she was concerned about glitter and trinkets. It is difficult to imagine that the lack of a little yellow soft metal in the shape of a circle would bother her. Yet Yaakov cried because he didn’t have a diamond ring to give her. The question is – why? All that Rachel really wanted was being delivered to her. If so, why did Yaakov cry? It seems that the answer is that the lack of gifts may not have bothered Rachel much, but the bottom line was that it wasn’t respectful to her. When you come to your kallah, you bring her a gift. That is the way that dignified people act. That is the way of the world, and it isn’t proper to
This is a tremendous lesson to us because the people that we live amongst aren’t on the level of Rachel. To them, a slight to their honor is something that causes them real pain. People will go to great lengths to protect their reputation and dignity because these things are very important to them. And for that reason, we need to develop a real sensitivity to other people’s dignity and honor. But this concept goes much further. The reality is that there are few people who get enough recognition and respect. We humans have many needs. We need food and drink, we need shelter and protection, and we need friends and companionship – most of our needs are met. The one need that that is almost never met is the need to be appreciated. It is something that we hunger for, something that is basic to our success and vitality. Yet there is no store in which it can be bought, no marketplace in which it can be acquired. And oftentimes, a person can go around with a deep hunger, not even realizing what is amiss. One of the greatest acts of kind-
ness that I can do for another person is to treat him with honor. If I find your currency and can acknowledge you in that vein, I can give you that which you deeply crave – and it costs me nothing.
One of the greatest acts of kindness that I can do for another person is to treat him with honor.
The great dichotomy of human conduct is that I must run from my own kavod, yet run after yours. When it comes to my honor, I have to train myself that it is vain and frivolous, yet when it comes to yours, I have to do everything in my power to give you as much honor as I am able. A person who learns to find this balance becomes a popular and welcome companion and is able to help others meet one of their deepest, unmet needs.
Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz. com. The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues. All of the Shmuzin are available free of chaarge at the www.theShmuz.com or on the Shmuz app for iPhone or Android.
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The Observant Jew
What Can I Do? By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz
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he year was 1968. An idealistic young man of eighteen in Seattle, Washington, was about to go vote in his first presidential election. This long-haired youth reveled in his newfound power, finally able to affect the direction of the world. As his mother drove him to the polls, the news on the radio discussed results from polls that had closed already on the East Coast. The broadcast projected Richard Nixon the winner, based on the Electoral College votes. The youth turned to his mother and said, “Does this mean it’s already over? That my vote won’t make a difference?” His mother replied, “That’s right. Your vote won’t matter, but you can still go vote and do your civic duty.” He was crushed. His idealism was turned over in such a brutal fashion that to this day, he has not voted in a presidential election. Flash forward to 2015. He related to me this moment of epiphany, when he realized that his vote didn’t count and explained that he only likes to be involved in things in which he has the chance to personally influence the outcome. He has achieved many things, completed many wonderful projects, and done much good by following this philosophy. But I disagree. I don’t disagree that we should focus our efforts where they will have the most impact. By all means we should do what we can and not obsess about what we can’t. However, I don’t think his mother gave him exactly the right answer. But then, she hadn’t learned Torah and didn’t have the Jewish perspective I was fortunate enough to gain. You see, we often have the ques-
tion of hashgacha pratis, Hashem’s running of the world, and its relationship to hishtadlus, our efforts. What should I be doing? I can’t sit back and do nothing and expect money to come take a flying leap into my bank account. I have to make the effort. The difference lays in why I make the effort. There’s a famous story about a man who hitched a ride on a wagon and held his bag the entire time. When questioned, he explained, “Your horse has to carry me the whole time; should he have to carry my bag too?” Of course it’s ridiculous because the man wasn’t helping lighten the burden on the horse whether the bag was on his lap or on the seat next to him. The horse was doing all the work anyway. Hashem is taking care of us; we’re riding on His wagon. He doesn’t need us to carry the bag. However, He doesn’t want us taking it for granted and has commanded us to be involved in our success. We are to make our efforts, but at the same time realize that they don’t affect the outcome. How much we are to earn or what we are to go through has been decided on Rosh HaShana based on who we have become up until now. The efforts we exert are like doing our civic duty. Like the teen who was going to vote, whose ballot would not have affected the outcome, we are faced with situations all the time in which we may feel we have no power but we should act anyway. But his mother was wrong. It wasn’t just about doing his civic duty. His vote would have made a difference. Maybe not in which man would be elected president, but in his life. We should not do things solely because we thing we will affect change,
but because it is our responsibility to do them. We see that his not voting made a difference in his life. Imagine if he’d decided to vote anyway because it was his duty. How would a life lived upon responsibility play out versus one lived upon getting your way? I had a friend whose child was sick. He asked people in his shul not to speak during parts of davening when it is forbidden anyway. Some people got the message, but others said, “Are you kidding? I can’t keep quiet for a
important segula to be protected from terrorism. The Chofetz Chaim in one of his lesser-known works quotes a Midrash that Hashem will protect us from all harm if we keep our tongues from prowling after others. I recommended a daily e-mail that teaches shmiras halashon, the laws of proper speech. I can’t stop terrorists from attacking, but I can help fortify our defenses. Every day, we make our efforts. Let’s try to fulfill our obligations, but also
“Your horse has to carry me the whole time; should he have to carry my bag too?”
minute!” They laughed it off as if it were a joke. He said to me, “I did what I could.” And that’s all we are asked to do. We are given roles, responsibilities, and opportunities in life. Our job is to act upon them whether we will succeed or not. Hashem is the final arbiter of who will win or lose an election, and who will be successful or fail. Who will live and who will die are not our decisions to make, but we have to make our efforts towards those ends. With the attacks on Paris, some people were crying for the people there, while others were feeling vindicated in the hatred being poured back on their own heads. I couldn’t affect the outcome either way. But what could I do? I chose to share with others a very
learn from my youthful friend that some choices are better than others and when you find something you can impact more directly, all while doing your duty, your chances of success are greater. Each day we should ask ourselves, “What can I do to make a difference?” Then go and do it. Jonathan Gewirtz is an inspirational writer and speaker whose work has appeared in publications around the world. You can find him at www.facebook.com/ RabbiGewirtz and follow him on Twitter @RabbiJGewirtz. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter.com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion. Sign up for the Migdal Ohr, his weekly PDF Dvar Torah in English. E-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter. com and put Subscribe in the subject.
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Halachically
Speaking
Birchos Habanim by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits
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any have the custom to bentch their children on Friday night. Where does this custom come from? Should the blessings be given before or after coming home from shul? Should one use one hand or two hands? How does a left-handed person bentch his children? Which child goes first? What is the accepted nusach? Is there a problem to bentch children, as this is usually reserved for kohanim to bentch us during birchas kohanim? All these questions and others will be discussed in this article.
BENTCHING CHILDREN
When Yaakov wished to bentch Ephraim and Menashe, he gave them a bracha while placing one hand on each one’s head. Rashi says that when we bentch our children we use the same nusach. The custom to bentch children on Friday night is brought down in early sources. The custom is to bless daughters as well. The Yaavetz says that Friday night is an opportune time because there is abundance in the world then, and we present this abundance to our children. Maavar Yabek explains that there is no satan on Shabbos who could prevent the bracha. Others say that the father is not distracted with work, and he can concentrate on the blessing. Still others say that the father might be upset with his child during the week and make an unpleasant comment. On
Shabbos he wishes to annul those remarks with the bracha on Friday night. Some say that one should bentch the children after davening if they are present in shul, or in the house. Others have the custom to bentch the children after Kiddush before washing for Hamotzi. Yaakov Avinu used one hand for Ephraim and Menashe in order to avoid jealousy, as they were both bentched at the same time. We bentch our children individually, and the custom is to use both hands. Some are concerned with using both hands, as this action is reserved for the kohanim when bentching Klal Yisrael. Those who are lenient say that this is not an issue because everyone knows that the goal is not to act like a Kohen. According to the opinion that one uses one hand, the correct hand to use is the right hand. A left-handed person would also use his right hand. However, as mentioned above, the custom is to use two hands. One should say, “Yisimcha Elokim k’Ephraim v’chi’Menashe.” He can then add additional blessings if he wishes. There are many people who do not have the custom to bentch their children on Friday night. It is not addressed in the poskim whether or not the older child should be bentched first. One who is an avel R”l may not bentch his child
during shivah. When bentching a daughter, the custom is to say, “Like Sarah, Rivkah, Rochel and Leah.” The source of this custom is obscure, as we do not mention the Avos when bentching a son. The explanation is that logically, we would bentch our children with the names of the Avos, as we do with our daughters. Regarding sons, the Torah clearly says to use Ephraim and Menashe.
BENTCHING AND ISSUE TO BE LIKE A KOHEN
Earlier, we mentioned the fact that only a kohen may use two hands to bentch Klal Yisrael. Therefore, why is it permitted for a non-kohen to bentch his child with two hands? Many answers are offered: Some suggest that the prohibition is because he looks like a kohen bentching. However, when a father bentches his son it is obvious that he is not trying to imitate a kohen. Others say if the hands are not spread out like a kohen there is no issue. The Darchei Moshe says that there is only a problem if one blesses the tzibbur with the kohanim; otherwise there is no concern. The Bach says that saying the nusach without a bracha is not an issue. The Mishnah Berurah says that if one has no intention of doing the mitzvah of birchas kohanim, then there is no problem. It is stated in the name of the Zohar that one is not
allowed to form his hands in the manner in which the kohanim place them when giving the bracha to the kahal. Some say that it is permitted if it is not done when the kohanim do it. Practically speaking, one should not place his hands in this fashion except for learning purposes.
EREV YOM KIPPUR
The widespread custom in Klal Yisrael is to bentch one’s child on Erev Yom Kippur. This is done close to the beginning of Yom Kippur. When the father bentches his child it inspires the child to do teshuvah and he enters Yom Kippur humbled. Some suggest that Yaakov Avinu bentched Ephraim and Menashe on Erev Yom Kippur and we commemorate this by bentching our children on every Erev Yom Kippur.
BENTCHING A SON BEFORE THE CHUPPAH
The custom is that the father (and others) bentches
the chassan before the chuppah. Some maintain that the custom is to use one hand; however, this is not the overwhelming opinion.
POTENTIAL ISSUE WITH NUSACH
As mentioned above, we say “Yisimcha Elokim” for birchos habanim. The rule is that one may not recite a fragment of a pasuk. If so, how can we use this nusach for birchos habanim by starting in the middle of the pasuk? Some maintain that the restriction does not apply to a bracha or tefillah. Others explain that the Torah clearly instructs us to use this formula for the blessing. Therefore, there is no issue with starting from the middle of a pasuk. Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits is a former chaver kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath and a musmach of Harav Yisroel Belsky shlita. Rabbi Lebovits currently works as the Rabbinical Administrator for the KOF-K Kosher Supervision.
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Jewish History
The Infamous Case of the “Get of Cleves” By Rabbi Pini Dunner A Jewish marriage ceremony in Nuremberg, Germany, c. 1726\
In the late eighteenth century, a seemingly innocuous divorce in a provincial German town evolved into one of the most bitterly fought Jewish legal controversies of the era, involving the most famous rabbis of the day. The story of the “Get of Cleves” is an extraordinary tale of intrigue, ego and hubris. At the center of it all was a young couple whose personal lives were humiliatingly discussed and debated, as one of Europe’s most distinguished rabbinic courts refused to reverse their ruling that the husband had been legally insane at the time of the divorce, a ruling which had invalidated the divorce, leaving the couple still married. Rabbis everywhere erupted in indignation at this intransigence. What is the “Get of Cleves” backstory? How was it possible that the esteemed rabbis of Frankfurt, who had never met the young man in question, felt compelled to deliver a retroactive ruling of insanity against him? In a three-part article we will delve into the tragic events leading up to and surrounding this titanic legal battle.
Part I
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any years ago I was involved in a tragic situation, trying to help an estranged wife obtain her get* from her recalcitrant husband. He had been very abusive towards her during their time together, and the marriage had irretrievably broken down. The husband was now trying to extort a large sum of money from the wife’s family in exchange for the get, and the wife’s family was simply not able to come up with the exorbitant sums that were being demanded by the husband. Even if they were able to come up with the money, I felt it would be outrageous to give into his demands. After consulting with the distinguished dayanim of the London Beth Din, I let the husband and his family know that I would be conducting a public campaign against him and anyone associated with him – his family, his business associates, his supporters – until he gave his wife her get and ceased his unreasonable demands. We would organize demonstrations outside homes and businesses, publish adverts in the newspapers, and write to every synagogue and institution he was associated with to explain how he was a “mesaref l’dina,” the Jewish legal phrase for someone who is in contempt of court. I was quite confident with this strategy, as I knew that the family
was terrified of negative publicity and would certainly not want such a situation to erupt around them. Then, out of the blue, I got a phone call from a close friend of the husband’s family. He informed me that a few years earlier the husband had been diagnosed with a chronic mental condition, and if I went through with my threatened action, the family would use his history of mental problems as proof that he was legally incompetent, which would mean he would not be able to give the get. The man on the phone was well versed in halacha and quoted me numerous sources to unequivocally prove that someone who is insane or legally incompetent cannot give his wife a get. I put the phone down and sat for a while in contemplation, not sure what to do. Before receiving that phone call it had all seemed so simple. I had been convinced that the matter would be resolved quickly. Now it appeared as if I had been outsmarted by this devilish plan. I decided to call my late mother’s brother, a humble man whose knowledge in Talmud and halacha is unsurpassed, and whose devoted attention to my Torah studies as my rebbe had been the incredible springboard that had ensured my enthusiasm for Torah knowledge – and in fact, all knowledge. I explained what had happened, and asked him if I should call it a day. After chastising me for my hubristic overconfidence, and for being so adversarial, he asked me if I
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had ever heard of the ‘”et of Cleves.” “No,” I said, “although I have heard of Anne of Cleves,” the name of one of Henry VIII’s unfortunate wives. “Did Henry VIII give her a get when they divorced?” My uncle chuckled. “Just look into the story of the ‘Get of Cleves’ and you will see how this threat to thwart the get by claiming that the man is insane and legally incompetent is an empty threat. These people have no idea what they are talking about, and have no concept of the halachot surrounding insanity and incompetence when it comes to giving a get. After the ‘Get of Cleves’ case, being insane enough so that you would not be able to give a get became pretty difficult.” Modern secular law defines insanity as “mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct his or her affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.” Insanity is normally used as a defense in criminal cases. The most common variation is cognitive insanity, which means that the alleged criminal was so impaired by insanity when committing a crime that he or she did not know that the crime committed was wrong. Another form of the insanity is volitional insanity, or “irresistible impulse,” which refers to someone who is able to distinguish right from wrong, but has a temporary mental breakdown making them incapable of controlling their actions. This defense is commonly used in crimes of vengeance. There is another condition that can affect a legal transaction, called “incompetency.” Civil law requires a person to be legally competent in order to enter into a contract or sign a will or make any type of binding legal commitment. In contract law a person who agrees to a transaction becomes liable for duties under the contract unless they are legally incompetent at the time the contract was entered into. If someone does not comprehend the nature and consequences of a contract, they are regarded as having mental incapacity. But how does Jewish law define insanity and incompetence, and what are the implications of an act carried out, or a contract entered into, by an insane or incompetent individual? The “Get of Cleves” saga was a watershed divorce case that brought all these issues into sharp focus.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
18th century wedding
In the late spring or early summer of 1766, a young man called Isaac Neiberg from Mannheim, Germany, became engaged to Leah Gunzhausen of Bonn, which is also in Germany. During the engagement period Isaac visited his fiancée and appeared to all to be perfectly normal and happy. On Friday, August 8, 1766, Leah and her parents arrived in Mannheim to join the groom and his family in anticipation of the wedding that was taking place the following Tuesday. Among the friends and family who joined them was their cousin, a rabbinic scholar called Rabbi Aron Shimon Copenhagen, who would later be crucial in providing the details of the strange story that unfolded over the next couple of weeks. That Friday night passed without incident, but on Shabbat morning something was up. Without explanation Isaac became agitated and anxious. He paced up and down and muttered to himself, and no one seemed to be able to calm him down. His demeanor was so strange that Leah’s parents began to worry about his mental state. They sat him down with Leah, and asked him why he was so stressed. After some prompting, Isaac explained that he was upset over a new apartment his father had promised him for after the wedding, which his father had suddenly decided to give to his sister and her new husband instead. Although another apartment had been set aside for him, he claimed to be concerned that this smaller accommodation would not be sufficient for him and Leah once they were married and
had children. Leah’s parents were satisfied that this explained Isaac’s strange behavior and immediately went to confront Isaac’s father, who, after a short negotiation, agreed to honor the original promise and allow Isaac and Leah to move into the larger accommodation. With everything seemingly settled, the wedding took place as planned on the following Tuesday. Isaac addressed the wedding banquet, and acted in a composed and dignified way. But the following Shabbat morning – sheva brachot Shabbat – Isaac was nowhere to be found. After a comprehensive search involving the local gentile authorities, it was discovered that not only had he disappeared, but he had absconded with a large sum of money. To put it mildly, this was highly unorthodox behavior for an orthodox Jew on Shabbat, and particularly strange behavior for someone in the midst of his own sheva brachot celebrations. Both families went into full panic mode and hired a search party to look for him in the surrounding villages. Isaac was eventually discovered hiding under some hay in a farmhouse belonging to a non-Jew, about four hours’ journey from Mannheim. He was brought back to Mannheim, but was very agitated, and kept on repeating that he needed to run away to escape government agents who were intent on killing him. Simultaneously, and perhaps as a result of what was going on, the two families began to bicker over financial support for the couple. A medi-
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ator was called in and the dispute was settled. As part of the settlement it was agreed that the couple would not stay in Mannheim as originally planned, but would instead move to Bonn with Leah’s family, at least for the immediate future. Everyone was happy with the new arrangement, especially Isaac, who was delighted to be leaving. On August 19, 1766, exactly one week after the wedding, the young couple left Mannheim and began their journey to Bonn, together with Leah’s family and the friends from Bonn who had attended the celebrations. The following night, at a Jewish inn near Mainz, an innocent conversation involving the innkeeper that touched on the story of the groom who had run away the previous Shabbat resulted in Isaac freaking out and becoming completely hysterical. The family eventually calmed him down, but once again his strange behavior had become cause for concern. The journey towards Bonn continued, and the family arrived on Friday just before Shabbat. The following morning Isaac attended prayers and was called up to say the blessing over the Torah. Notwithstanding the outburst in Mainz his demeanor throughout Shabbat was serene and relaxed. But beneath the surface it seems that Isaac was in total turmoil. On Saturday night, straight after Shabbat, he sent for Rabbi Copenhagen and begged for his help to arrange a divorce. Rabbi Copenhagen was totally dumbstruck. “What are you talking about? Why do you want to divorce Leah?” he inquired incredulously. Isaac responded that he felt Leah disliked him, and he couldn’t live with someone who didn’t like him. He also claimed that his life was in grave danger, and he need to leave Germany immediately. This meant Leah would be unable to remarry, particularly if his enemies caught up with him and killed him without anyone knowing. He therefore wanted to divorce her while he still could, rather than cause her and her family the anguish associated with a missing husband unable to write a get. Rabbi Copenhagen was a wise and worldly man, and he told Isaac to sleep on it while he conferred with the family. The rabbi ran to Leah’s father to report the conversation he had had with Isaac, and the two of them
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be done with it. Isaac was itching to leave, which meant that they could not execute the divorce in Bonn, so the family decided to accompany him on the first part of his journey and arrange for the get to be given in Cleves, a small town on the German side of the border with Holland. The
agonized all night trying to figure out what to do. The following morning Rabbi Copenhagen told Isaac that he had no solution to suggest as yet, but was happy to continue discussing options and ideas. Isaac responded that he was not interested in any solution, as he had decided overnight
Isaac was eventually discovered hiding under some hay in a farmhouse belonging to a non-Jew, about four hours’ journey from Mannheim. rabbi of Cleves was a respected scholar named Rabbi Yisrael Lipschuetz, whom everyone was satisfied would be helpful and correct in these unusual circumstances.
to divorce Leah without delay so that he could run for his life. He added that if Leah or her family would not agree, that was their choice to make, but meanwhile his bags were packed and he was ready to leave for London, where he felt he would be safe. After an intense family conference everyone concluded it was best to just go ahead with the divorce and
So, on Sunday morning, Isaac, Leah, Rabbi Copenhagen, Leah’s brother, and another cousin all left Bonn and headed towards Cleves. The 100-mile
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journey took them a couple of days, and they arrived there on Tuesday, August 26 – exactly two weeks after the couple had married. Rabbi Lipschuetz was rather surprised when this unexpected delegation arrived at his door, particularly when he heard what they wanted. Isaac explained what had happened and why he wanted the divorce, although he did not mention his weird Shabbat disappearance with the money. He was lucid and composed, and articulated perfectly why he felt the need to end his marriage. The rabbi explained the divorce process to him, and he seemed to completely understand every aspect, as well as the implications of the detailed asset separation that was hammered out between him and Leah’s relatives. Isaac insisted that they press ahead with the divorce as quickly as possible. He also asked for the divorce not be publicized in Cleves, as he had heard that there were people there from Mannheim, and he did not want them to hear about it and for his parents to find out. As the divorce document was being written, Rabbi Lipschuetz took Isaac aside to tell him that he found what was happening extremely upsetting and puzzling, and he added that he was quite concerned that Isaac’s parents would be worried and upset when they found out what he had done. Isaac replied that it was dangerous for him to go back to Mannheim, and if he returned there he would be executed on the spot, although he refused to elaborate. The divorce proceedings went ahead and the get was given to Leah in front of witnesses, as required by Jewish law. The following day Isaac and Leah parted ways. She returned to Bonn with her family, and he left for London. It was only a matter of time before Isaac’s parents discovered what had happened, and when they did they were livid, believing that Leah’s family had taken advantage of their vulnerable son. They were also upset that the asset separation had been decided very heavily in Leah’s favor. Isaac’s father arranged an emergency meeting with his local rabbi in Mannheim, Rabbi Tevele Hess – who knew Isaac well and had attended the wedding – and he insisted the rabbi find a way to annul the divorce. Although Rabbi Hess was a distinguished rabbinic scholar in his
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own right, he did not feel himself to be sufficiently qualified to perform an annulment. So he did something that would prove to be a game-changer. He wrote a detailed letter that was co-signed by nine other rabbis to one of the most famous rabbinic courts in Europe – the illustrious Beit Din of Frankfurt. The Frankfurt beit din was headed by Rabbi Avraham Abish Feld, author of the authoritative halachic work Birkat Avraham. Rabbi Abish, as he was known, was one of the most eminent rabbinic authorities in Germany at that time, not only renowned as a massive expert in Jewish law, but also known for his piety and gentleness. The letter from Rabbi Hess ended with a simple request – on the basis that Isaac had not been competent at the time of the divorce, Rabbi Abish and his colleagues should annul the get of Cleves, which would mean that Isaac and Leah were still married. This request was nothing short of a bombshell, and the response of the Frankfurt beit din would reverberate around the Jewish world in a controversy that embroiled rabbis far and wide. *A “get” is the official legal document that records the divorce between a man and his wife, and it is crucial that it is executed correctly, as the consequences of an invalid get would be a disaster. If the non-divorced wife remarries, she and her new husband are guilty of adultery, while any children would be considered “mamzerim.” For this reason, great care is taken by rabbis who preside over a get, and the Talmud is extremely critical of those who retroactively question the validity of a get.
In Part II of this series discover how the “Get of Cleves” story escalated into an international scandal involving the leading rabbis of the era. What could have been sorted out in a single afternoon arbitration became a scandal that turned into a major debacle for everyone involved.
Rabbi Pini Dunner is the Rav of Young Israel North Beverly Hills in California.
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Filling their Bellies, Warming their Souls How a few individuals are supporting our Israeli soldiers and showing them that we care By Baila Rosenbaum
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ossie Goldberger was driving near his home in Jerusalem and had to pull over. It wasn’t the traffic, the buses or the congestion that got his attention. It was the compelling voice of Elad Amedi, speaking on the radio. Amedi, popular host of a daily radio show, is known for straight talk, boldly sharing his thoughts and beliefs across the airwaves. The topic of the day was one close to every Israeli’s heart – chayalei ha’tzaava – our young Israeli soldiers. Amedi’s message was one that easily resonated. Chayalim deserve our respect and gratitude – and that gratitude needs to be expressed. Offering a chayal a drink, a snack or a friendly greeting is the least one can do for the soldiers who put their lives on the line for Am Yisrael every day. Amedi enthused about his experiences
joining Amit Amar, a former soldier, who had put together a team of volunteers to do just that. Amar and crew, who call themselves Tvaat Paamon, go out every night and visit chayalim at checkpoints, guard towers and outposts. They connect, encourage, and ply them with hot drinks and snacks. The soldiers’ response to the love and caring of fellow Jews is so warm and overwhelming that Amedi was galvanized to call for an impromptu get-together. He announced a location and time and invited all chayalim to enjoy an event in their honor. Back in traffic Yossie Goldberger, who does not always listen to Amedi’s secular radio show, absorbed Amedi’s message and knew that he had to be a part of it. Goldberger is an experienced “ish chessed” and
didn’t wait to act. He called the radio program from his car, reached Elad Amedi, and made an imposing offer, “How can I help? I want to do something big!” Amedi connected him with Amit Amar and the two men, powered by a sincere desire to show their appreciation, brainstormed to find just the right way to show how much they cared. Yossie Goldberger wasn’t joking when he offered something “big.” In fact, he was experienced in “big.” He contacted one of his many partners in chessed, Rabbi Pesach Lerner, Executive President Emeritus of the National Counsel of Young Israel and resident of Far Rockaway, NY. “Yossie and I go back a long way,” Rabbi Lerner explains. “About eleven years ago we started working together on behalf of the families of Gush Katif. We col-
lected money for Shabbat and yom tov expenses and basic food items.” The sight of empty refrigerators and unhappy children tore at both their hearts, spurring them into action. They arranged for the distribution of food packages, raised money for stipends, and along the way, learned a valuable lesson in giving. “Once we distributed food for Pesach. After everything was given out a man came over and, almost tearfully, thanked us for the grape juice. Now, the grape juice was by far the least impressive item in the box. But, as the man explained, the grape juice would mean a lot to his children. “Little things that we wouldn’t normally think about can make a very big impact on someone’s life.” Lesson learned. The next time they arranged for a food distribution they made
sure to include a bottle of Coke in each box. Everyone needs staples, but the soda was a gift – a little luxury. On a subsequent Purim they raised money to buy five thousand Purim costumes for families from Gush Katif. The costumes brought enormous joy to the children; and their families felt the support and caring that the gifts represented. With Rabbi Lerner on board raising funds, Goldberg and Amar got to work. “We wanted to do something special – something beyond drinks and a snack,” Goldberger said. “We decided to make a barbeque and to do it right – with all the trimmings. I went out and bought hamburgers, hot dogs, buns – the works. Amit went on a buying spree too. We didn’t know how many chayalim would show up, and we were
determined that no one would leave without something hot and satisfying. We wanted each of them to know how we felt about them; how we valued them.” At the appointed hour, Amit Amar and a group of volunteers came to start setting up. Other radio listeners appeared to volunteer and the grills were fired up and food unpacked. The chayalim started coming in small groups until there was an overflow crowd. “It took time to cook everything up but there was no rushing or impatience.” Goldberg describes, “The atmosphere was warm and full of camaraderie. Everyone was enjoying themselves – there was singing and smiles. The volunteers came from everywhere, chilonim and charedim. There was a feeling of brotherhood and unity. It was beautiful.” About 1,400 chayalim showed up for the barbeque and none left without a meal and a virtual hug. Members of ZAKA and Hatzalah came
wellbeing and appreciate the sacrifices they’re making for their country. “At about 2:30 in the morning we were cleaning up. There was no food left at all. Suddenly, three jeeps pulled up with about thirty chayalim. I was determined not to let them leave emptyhanded.” After some quick thinking and a phone call or two, Amit and Yossie found an all-night schwarma shop in nearby Maale Adumim and the chayalim were dispatched to pick up their late meal. Throughout the evening Goldberg was in contact with Rabbi Lerner, facetiming. “What’s the meaning of a hamburger?” Rabbi Lerner comments. “It’s more than the meal. It was an expression of friendship and solidarity. More importantly, there was a mix of charedim participating and it meant a lot to the soldiers. Contrary to any negative impressions, the crowd may have had, here was an image of charedim as givers. It was a
the soldiers, who were mainly secular, that their charedi brothers care for them and love them. It only took a day or two and the next barbeque was in the works. Funded by the Westmount Shul in Toronto, it took place in Jerusalem and had the same success. “Everyone should want to be involved,” Yossie Goldberger states passionately. “There are no words to describe what a zechut it is. Unfortunately, there is a natural anti-charedi feeling in the army. When these chayalim heard how charedim from America care about them, they were surprised, respectful and pleased. Many of the soldiers were not daati, yet sitting around the grill, what did they do? They sang ‘Ani Maamin’ and ‘Hosheanu.’ Where was this coming from? Those feelings come from the love exchanged between one Jew and another.” “I’m not a big lamdan,” Goldberg continued. “But doing chessed for the chay-
“What’s the meaning of a hamburger? It’s more than the meal. It was an expression of friendship and solidarity.”
to help serve and to deliver food to units that could not come in person. When asked about who was sponsoring the event, the soldiers were told, “Charedim m’chutz l’aretz she’echpat la’hem [Religious Jews from countries outside of Israel who care for you] were sponsoring the event.” They were amazed that charedim – who aren’t even living in Israel – are concerned about their
big kiddush Hashem.” Rabbi Lerner spent the next couple of days canvasing to raise money and awareness, determined to send the word around. The goal was a weekly barbeque at sites around the country for soldier who were risking their lives for Am Yisrael every day. “Tell them it’s coming from the Orthodox Jews in America who care!” he declared. He wanted to show
alim is a zechut I won’t pass up. The next time I have a yartzheit I myself will try to sponsor a barbeque and I urge others to do so as well. What bigger nachas can you give Hakadosh Baruch Hu than to take care of his children, to thank them for their sacrifice.” Rabbi Lerner sums it up. “We can have discussions in the boardrooms, in the Beit Medrash, and at the ta-
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ble of poskim as to whether charedim should serve in the army. There’s a time and place for that. But what’s important is to realize is that if a young man or woman serves in the Tzahal, he has accepted upon himself to put his life on the line for other Jews. It is incumbent upon us to respond. They are protecting us. That we are able to go to Israel, travel freely and visit the holy sites is because they have put themselves on the line for our safety. If we can support them in any way, we should.” This initiative, born in a few impassioned moments and brought to fruition in only a few days, is reaching and changing Jews all over Israel. The cost of feeding 800-900 chayalim, with around 2,000 hamburgers, buns and the “works,” is $2,000 to $2,500 but the results are priceless. Shuls and individuals have been step-
ping up to join in the cause. “When there’s a war, American Jews gather and pray. We give out names of individual soldiers and daven for their safety. Why not now? We have to support them even when we are not at war,” Rabbi Lerner affirms. “The fact that this initiative is produced by the hard work of both secular and charedi Jews is even more of a reason to participate – it’s good for the soldiers and it’s good for Am Yisrael. The bottom line is that everyone’s got to do something.”
For those looking to join in this initiative, contact Rabbi Lerner at info@idf bbq.org. Donations can be sent directly to Rabbi Lerner at THE CCJH, 567 Cedarhill Road, Far Rockaway, NY 11691. Or go to HELPKATIF. ORG and indicate the IDF BBQ when donating.
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Health & F tness
How Parents Can Speak to Children of all Ages about Tragedy By Hylton Lightman, MD, DCH, FAAP
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his past Friday’s tragic, violent events in Israel and Paris have left us saddened and speechless. Our condolences go out to the families who are suffering: You are in our prayers. As a pediatrician, father and grandfather, I know that violence can have lasting effects on children, even if they’re learning about it only through the media. After any disaster, parents and other adults struggle with what they should say and share with children and what not to say or share with them. Please allow me to share with you some thoughts.
ASK YOUR CHILD, “WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD? “
This open-ended question holds true no matter what age or developmental stage the child is. Ask them what they’ve heard. Ask them what questions they have. Children as young as 4 years old may hear about these events: It is best if you, the parent, speak with them rather than them hearing it from a friend or someone else. Even young children need information. Saying something like “Something sad happened elsewhere in the world” is too vague and does not give the child an opportunity to understand how this differs from the hurts of everyday life. The underlying message you should convey: “What happened is horrible and I am
here to help you understand it.” Older children, teens, and young adults might ask more questions and may request and benefit from additional information. After asking your child what they have heard and if they have questions about what occurred during a school shooting, community bombing, natural disaster, or even a disaster in an international country, a parent can say something such as: “Yes. In [city], [state] (and here you might need to give some context, depending on whether it’s nearby or far away, for example, ‘That’s a city/ state that’s pretty far from/close to here’), there was a disaster and many people were hurt. The police and the government are doing their jobs so they can try to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.” A parent can follow-up as needed based on the child’s reactions and questions. But no matter what age the child is, it’s best to keep the dialogue straightforward and direct.
AVOID GRAPHIC DETAILS AND EXPOSURE TO MEDIA
This is easier said than done. Generally, it is best to share basic information with children, omitting the graphic details about tragic circumstances. Both children and adults want enough information to understand what’s going on. Graph-
ic information and images should be avoided. Keep young children away from repetitive graphic images and sounds that may appear on radio, television, computers and social media. If older children watch the news, you may wish to watch and record it ahead of time. You can then “screen” through what they’ll see, planning your thoughts. Perhaps when viewing it, you can stop and discuss points with your teenager. We live in an era when many children can download news and information from their phones. As the parent, you need to be proactive and think through what your child might be exposed to and then speak accordingly. Again, exposure to media of any kind can traumatize children further. Efforts should be made to protect children from media violence and to promote resiliency whenever possible.
signs of regressive behavior, including social regression, acting more immature, or becoming less patient and more demanding. A child who once separated easily from her parents may become clingy. Teens may begin or change current patterns of tobacco, alcohol, or substance abuse. • Emotional problems: Children may experience undue sadness, depression, anxiety, or fears. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a child is reacting in a typical way to an unusual event or whether they are having real problems coping and might need extra support. If you are concerned, talk to your child’s pediatrician as we are in a unique position to help kids in crisis. Don’t wait for the signs. Start the discussion early, and keep the dialogue going. Most important, make your child feel safe. Hug them. And when they walk out the door, say, “I love you.”
SIGNS THAT A CHILD MAY NOT BE COPING WELL
For additional resources, please consult the University of Southern California’s National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement website; http://ehealthmd.contant. what-worry#; and www.school climate.org.
• Sleep problems: Watch for trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, difficulty waking up, nightmare, or other sleep disturbances. • Physical complaints: Children may complain of feeling tired, having a headache, or generally feeling unwell. You may notice your child eating too much or less than usual. • Changes in behavior: Look for
Dr. Hylton Lightman is a pediatrician and Medical Director of Total Family Care of the 5 Towns and Rockaway PC. He can be reached at www.totalfamilycaremd.com, on Instagram at #lightmanpeds or visit him on Facebook.
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Terror in Paris France Vows to Fights Back By Susan Schwamm
It was a quiet night in Paris. The lights of the Eiffel Tower glowed against the dark sky. A typical Friday night, Parisians and tourists dined in restaurants, attended soccer matches, and enjoyed concerts.
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ut then, the peacefulness and innocence of the City of Light was shattered by bloodthirsty murderers. It took less than three hours, but by 12:30am on Friday night, 129 people were killed by coordinated, vicious attacks in six differ-
ent locations by members of the terrorist group ISIS. 9:20pm was when the terror began. A suicide bomber detonated an explosives belt at the Stade de France, where France and Germany were playing a soccer match. The blast killed the bomber and claimed one victim. Just five minutes later, at 9:25, gunmen in a black vehicle started shooting at people sitting at Le Carillon and Le Petit Cambodge restaurants with Kalashnikov-type assault rifles. 15 people were killed in the carnage; 10 were seriously wounded. At 9:30, another suicide bomber detonated at the Stade de France stadium. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the blast. Just two minutes later, gunmen in a black vehi-
cle opened fire at the A La Bonne Biere bar, killing five people and critically wounding eight. Four minutes later, gunmen killed 19 people and wounded nine others as they sat on the terrace of La Belle Equipe. Four minutes after that attack, at 9:40, a suicide bomber detonated an explosives device inside the Comptoir Voltaire restaurant. Thankfully no one was killed in the blast, although one person was seriously injured. At 9:53, another suicide bomber detonated his explosive device at the stadium; thankfully no one besides for the terrorist was killed. At the same time of the attack at Comptoir Voltair restaurant, at 9:40, three terrorists killed 89 people with guns and bombs at a sold-out
performance of the Eagles of Death Metal, an American band, that took place at the Bataclan concert hall. They shouted “Allahu akbar” as they entered the hall with assault rifles, throwing grenades and shooting into the crowd. Concertgoers desperately tried to hide from the attackers and to escape. One pregnant woman dangled from a third story window. The terrorists held those left inside the hall hostage in front of the stage. Finally, after 140 minutes of a standoff with French police, police stormed the club. Two attackers exploded their suicide vests, while a third attacker’s vest was activated by police gunfire. Finally, finally, after over three hours of terror, the quiet was restored to the Pa-
risian night – but it was not a peaceful silence. It was a silence of mourning, of wailing, of grief. It was a silence of 129 loved ones no longer smiling and hugging their families after a long day. It was a silence of 352 people moaning, as they escaped with their lives, but will forever remember this night as they look at their wounds. It was a silence that spoke volumes as people around the world reeled from the viciousness of those who call out in the name of religion and G-d. And it was a silence punctuated by broken glass and blood-stained cobblestones and a city that so cruelly lost its innocence. On Saturday night, the iconic Eiffel Tower was dark. The City of Light was shrouded in mourning.
The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
Friday’s attacks left 129 families bereaved. Those who lost their lives hailed from a number of countries, although more than 100 of the victims were French. They were brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, and friends to those who loved them. Gilles Leclerc, 32, worked with his mother at a florist in a French suburb. He was killed at the Eagles of Death Metal concert on Friday night, which he attended with his friend, who survived the bloodbath. Sadly, it took three days for authorities to identify his body. His mother went on French radio to make a public plea in the hope that he had survived. Arianne Theiller, 23, who enjoyed drawing for young readers, and Thomas Ayed, 34, were both at the Bataclan theater as well when they lost
hero,” his brother said. Asta Diakite had gone shopping with her nephew and was shot dead in the attack on the bar and restaurant on Friday night. Pierre Innocenti and Stephane Albertini were killed at the Bataclan. They were the third generation of their family to run the famous Chez Livio restaurant in Neuilly-sur-Seine. “They always had a smile for everyone,” one customer said. “They were so kind and really well-known around here.”
family and was brought up in Liege. She was with a friend, Milko Jozic, 47, on the terrace of La Casa Nostra pizzeria when they came under attack. Milko, also from Liege, was an industrial engineer and had a daughter in her twenties. The third Belgian victim was reported to be 28-years-old. T h i r t y - fi v e - y e a r - o l d Helene Muyal died at the Bataclan and left behind a husband and a son only 17-months-old. She was a makeup artist who worked
It was a silence that spoke volumes as people around the world reeled from the viciousness of those who call out in the name of religion and G-d. their lives on Friday night. Hugo Sarrade, 23, was also attending the concert when he was murdered. He was studying at a university in Montpellier and was in Paris to spend the weekend with his father. Hugo loved rock music. His father said, “He was loving and full of kindness, and so open to other cultures and ways of life.” Ludovic Boumbas, 40, was killed at La Belle Equipe bar protecting his friend, Chloe. He had thrown himself in front of her and although she was wounded, she survived. He had been at a birthday party. “He died a
Aurelie de Peretti, 33, from Saint Tropez, was at the Bataclan when she was murdered. “I just cannot believe that I just lost a part of myself,” her sister Delphine said. Nohemi Gonzalez, a 23-year-old U.S. student from El Monte, California, was killed in the attacks. She was studying at the Strate College of Design in Paris. Nohemi had dual American and Mexican citizenship and was the only U.S. citizen to have died in the attacks. Three Belgian citizens died on Friday night. Elif Dogan, 26, came from a Turkish
on fashion shoots. Her husband wrote a passionate piece on Facebook addressed to his wife’s killers after seeing her body. “I don’t know who you are and I don’t want to know. You are dead souls. I won’t give you the gift of my hatred. It’s what you sought, but answering hate with anger would be to surrender to the same ignorance that has made you what you are.” Three teams of terrorists – eight murderers in all – carried out the attacks on Friday night. Seven of those were killed during the carnage; one, Salah Abdeslam, 26, is
still on the loose. (On Tuesday, authorities said that a possible ninth terrorist was involved in the attacks; if true, he is still at large.) Abdelsam was stopped by French police near the Belgian border but was let go after deemed that he was not a suspect at the time. The Abdeslam family seems to like to kill. Two of Salah’s brothers were also involved in the attacks. Brahim Abdeslam, 31, blew himself up outside a bar near the Bataclan. Mohammed, a third brother, was arrested in the Brussels neighborhood of Molenbeek while returning from Paris. Authorities have found two cars in connection to the attacks; one of them was rented by Salah Abdeslam. Another contained three Kalashnikov automatic rifles when police found it. Another attacker, Bilal Hadfi, detonated a suicide belt at the Stade de France. The twenty-year-old also lived in Belgium and was known to Belgian authorities. Frenchman Samy Amimour, 28, has been identified as one of the attackers at the Bataclan theater. He was investigated by police for terrorism in 2012, but dropped off the radar in 2013. It has come to light now that Amimour spent those years in Syria with ISIS, even after his father travelled to Syria to encourage him to come home. Ismael Omar Mostefai, 29, was one of the terrorists
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who blasted concertgoers with an assault rifle before blowing himself up at the concert hall. He was identified by investigators by his severed finger. Prosecutors say that they had an “S” file on Mostefai for years, meaning they knew that he had been radicalized at some point. Although the attacks were organized in Belgium, they were planned in Syria. Six of the terrorists who carried out Friday’s massacre spent time in Syria. The mastermind behind the attacks has been named Abdelhamid Abaaoud, a 27-year-old Belgian linked to a Brussels-based terror cell. He has spent time in Syria alongside ISIS and has yet to be apprehended. This is not the first time Abaaoud endeavored to conduct carnage on a grand scale. He has been linked to the thwarted attacks on a Paris-bound high speed train in August and a foiled plot to attack a church in Paris in April. Authorities have tried to break up the terror cell that Abaaoud leads after the Charlie Hebdo attacks earlier this year. At the time, they arrested 13 jihadists in Belgium, but Abaaoud slipped through their fingers. In July, Abaaoud was sentenced in absentia to 20 years in prison for recruiting Islamic State fighters to Syria. He was among 32 people charged in Belgium with running one of Belgium’s largest jihadist recruitment networks, although many of the defendants – including Abaaoud – were tried in absentia and remain at large. Abaaoud was also accused of kidnapping after his younger brother, Younes, travelled to Syria in January 2014 at the age of 13 and earned the media nickname of “the youngest jihadist in the world.”
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Abaaoud spent time fighting alongside ISIS in Syria, arriving in Syria in January. In a video, Abaaoud is seen in his car transporting mutilated bodies to a mass grave. In an interview with the ISIS magazine Dabiq in February, Abaaoud boasted that he had been able to plot attacks against the West under the nose of Belgian intelligence agencies. Abaaoud, also known as Abu Umar al-Baljiki, said he and two fellow jihadis wanted to “terrorize the crusaders waging war against the Muslims.” Posing for photographs holding an ISIS flag and the Koran, the bearded militant said he and two fellow fighters travelled to Belgium to wage jihad in the country. After the attacks, the international spotlight was
thrust upon Molenbeek, a densely packed district in Brussels, Belgium. There, unemployment is high and
hostility is rife. Graffiti is scrawled on walls behind playing children. Although the population is transient,
some have settled there and there is a large Muslim community. This week, Belgian authorities carried out a se-
ries of raids searching for key suspects believed to have lived in the area. Two people arrested have been charged with terrorist offenses. At least two of Friday’s terrorists were living in Molenbeek before the attacks. It’s led to Molenbeek being widely labelled as a jihadi haven. Molenbeek was also put under scrutiny after the Charlie Hebdo attacks. A suspect in the thwarted attack on a high-speed train from Belgium to France was reported to have stayed at his sister’s house in Molenbeek, and a Frenchman accused of shooting dead four people last year at the Jewish Museum in Brussels also spent time in the area. “Molenbeek is a strange part of the town,” Brussels-based intelligence expert Claude Moniquet said.
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“It has a very mixed population with thousands of immigrants, approximately half are of Muslim descent and in some parts 70-80%. That means no mixing population and the possibility of a place to hide for terrorists.” A high proportion of those who have left the country to join Islamist groups have come from the area. Indeed, the country of Belguim has exported more jihadists to the conflicts in Syria and Iraq per capita than any other Western European nation. After the attacks, President Francois Hollande declared a state of emergency across France, which limited people’s movements and imposed zones of security and protection. Over the weekend police conducted
day after a solemn moment of silence honoring those who lost their lives in Friday’s attacks. “Friday’s acts of war were decided and planned in Syria. They were organized in Belgium and perpetrated on our soil with French complicity with one specific goal: to sow fear and to divide us,” Hollande told Parliament. “Syria has become the biggest factory of terrorism the world has ever known and the international community is still too divided and too incoherent,” he thundered. Hollande’s anger was not just rhetoric; the night before his speech, the country launched its heaviest airstrikes yet on the Syrian city of Raqqa, the Islamic State’s de-facto capital in the country. The airstrikes,
tire world joins our family in heartbreak yet again,” Kerry said. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu echoed Kerry’s sentiments and said Israel “stands shoulder to shoulder to France.” “Don’t mistake what these attacks represent. This is not a clash of civilizations. These terrorists have declared war against all civilization,” Kerry warned. “This is an assault not just on France, but coming on the heels of brutal attacks in Lebanon, Iraq and elsewhere, it is an assault on our collective sense of reason and purpose, an attack on civility itself.” Indeed, these terrorists don’t fight on a set battlefield; they see the whole world as their battleground. Nothing is sacred. Not a
“This is an assault not just on France … it is an assault on our collective sense of reason and purpose, an attack on civility itself.”
anti-terror raids throughout cities across the country. More than 20 people were taken into custody and weapons – including a rocket launcher – were seized. Over 100 people were put under house arrest. During a joint session of French Parliament – the third time a president has done so since 1848 – Hollande said he would like to add 5,000 positions to the country’s paramilitary police force and proposed measures that would allow France to deport suspected terrorists or strip them of their citizenship, even if they were born in the country. “France is at war,” the president declared on Mon-
which dropped 20 bombs, destroyed an ISIS jihadi training camp and munitions dump. “We need a union of all who can fight this terrorist army in a single coalition,” Hollande urged on Monday, asking for the United States’ and Russia’s cooperation in defeating ISIS. “We are not in a war of civilizations, because these assassins don’t represent one. We are in a war against jihadist terrorism, which threatens the entire world.” U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry responded to the attacks with empathy. “The United States and France are not only friends, we are family. And today, the en-
school, a place of work, a place of worship, or a restaurant. No one is exempt from their terror. Men, women, and children are equal targets in their eyes. And they terrorize from the shadows in the name of their religion, willing to kill themselves so they can inflict maximum pain upon others. In a video released on Monday, ISIS fighters proclaimed, “I swear to G-d, as we struck France in its stronghold Paris, we will strike America in its stronghold, Washington.” The U.S. Department of Homeland Safety said it had no “specific credible information of an attack on the U.S. homeland.” But CIA
Director John Brennan said he would be surprised if the group doesn’t have additional attacks in preparation. “I would anticipate this is not the only operation they have in the pipeline,” he related. “I do believe this is something we will have to deal with for quite some time.” Understandably, countries and people around the world were reeling from Friday’s attacks. Leaders pledged to increase security and people have become more wary of their surroundings. On Tuesday, authorities in Hannover, Germany, evacuated the stadium in which a soccer match between Germany and the Netherlands was set to take place because they uncovered “serious plans for explosives.” No explosives were found. Much talk has swirled around the refugees that have been streaming out of Syria. Because so many of these terrorists were trained by ISIS in Syria, many are concerned that welcoming in refugees from the wartorn country will only be welcoming in terrorists who will be planning their destruction. Indeed, ISIS has said that they will be sneaking into countries under the guise of refugees fleeing Syria. European politicians who have been speaking out against the rush of migrants are already pointing to the attacks as another reason to close their countries’ borders. And governors in at least 24 U.S. states have said they won’t accept Syrian refugees in light of the Paris attacks. The U.S. State Department, though, has said they will still be accepting the planned 10,000 refugees a year. “Paris changes everything,” Markus Soeder, finance minister for Ger-
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many’s southern state of Bavaria, said on Sunday. “The days of uncontrolled immigration and illegal entry can’t continue just like that.” Germany has been on the forefront of welcoming refugees from the Syrian crisis. Officials in the past have said that any Syrian who reaches its borders would be automatically granted asylum. In the United States, Republican presidential candidates Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush both said that in the wake of the attacks, the U.S. should limit admitting refugees from Syria to those who are Christian. President Obama, though, was quick to denounce their proposal, saying, “We don’t have religious tests to our compassion. We do not close our hearts to these victims of such violence and somehow start equating the issue of refugees with the issue of terrorism.” Interestingly, so far only 53 Syrian Christian refugees have been allowed into America, compared to 2,098 Syrian Muslims. On Monday night, the symbol of Paris, the iconic Eiffel Tower, was aglow in blue, white and red, the colors of the French flag. The City of Light has shown that is strong despite the blows that were inflicted upon it last week in the deadliest attack on French soil since World War II. Terrorists who hide under black shrouds and declare their visions of bloodshed will not dim the lights of the famous city. 129 people lost their lives as murderers slaughtered in the name of their G-d; we will remember those who perished by soldiering on and fighting back against those who yell “Allahu akbar.” No, their dreams of carnage are not great. It is the people who join together in unity and kindness who will ultimately prevail.
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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”
He looks at me and he goes, “Um, how old are you?” I said, “Well, I’m 26, I’ll be 27.” He goes, “Well, that’s kind of old for us.” He says to me, “Maybe the dogs will take you,” meaning the Army. – Hillary Clinton at a roundtable in New Hampshire “dusting off an old tale” that she once tried to join the Marine Corps and was rejected
Mrs. Clinton has repeatedly disparaged the integrity of the Marine Corps by claiming she was turned away from serving as a JAG officer in 1975 because she was too old at age 26 and too vision-impaired. She should tell us when and where this meeting took place, and with whom. – Former 2016 Democratic candidate and military veteran Jim Webb
I don’t believe it. – Famed mobster Vincent Asaro last week when the jury foreman announced that he was not guilty for taking part in the 1978 Lufthansa Heist
Hillary Clinton this week has begun telling the story of her attempt to join the Marines in 1975. But the closest she ever came to the Marines was buying a pantsuit at Old Navy. – Seth Myers
You really don’t want to know, honey. – Ibid., when asked by a reporter what he thinks of his cousin who turned on him and became a government informant
Hey Sam, don’t let them see the body in the trunk. – Ibid., joking to his lawyer as he hopped into a waiting car, with reporters in tow
Police say a Texas man stabbed his roommate this weekend during a fight over a piece of fried chicken. So even if you don’t eat the fried chicken, it will still find a way to kill you. – Seth Myers
You can’t bribe crocodiles. You can’t convince them to let inmates escape. — Budi Waseso, chief of Indonesia’s anti-drugs agency, on his idea to build a prison to hold deathrow drug convicts on an island guarded by dangerous reptiles
In one of his books, Ben Carson actually admitted to falling asleep several times while driving his car. He started taking Ubers to be safe, but his drivers kept falling asleep while listening to him talk. – Jimmy Fallon
Hey, who wants to help me get this reporter out of here? I need some muscle over here. — Melissa Click, a professor of mass media at the University of Missouri, trying to stop a journalist from filming students’ reactions after the resignation of university president Tim Wolf
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In the previous debate, you said the greatest threat to national security was climate change. Do you still believe that? – Moderator to Bernie Sanders at the Democrat debate, which took place one day after the Paris attack
Absolutely. In fact, climate change is directly related to the growth of terrorism. – Bernie Sanders in response
Real terror unfolds in Paris. Perhaps this will convince the right to tone down their incessant violent rhetoric. – Tweet by hyper-left website, Salon.com
Tomorrow night is the second Democratic debate! It’s the perfect way to spend a Saturday night if you’re single. And it’s raining. And every movie theater is closed. And you only get one channel. – Jimmy Fallon
- Oxford dictionary’s word of the year
Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off. - Conan O’Brien
I have no doubt that it’s a wig. It looks like a wig and I’m sure it’s a wig. And I knew that sooner or later she would have to get a wig because she had to find a place to hide her emails. It’s under the wig. That’s where it is. There’s no question about it. - Jackie Mason discussing Hillary Clinton, on Aaron Klein Investigative Radio
That’s shameful. That’s not American. That’s not who we are. We don’t have religious tests to our compassion. - President Obama responding to suggestions that in light of the fact that radical Islamists are among the refugees, America should only take in Christian refugees
Political correctness prevents the addressing of situations as they should be. - Hungarian Foreign Minister Peter Szijjarto while in Israel announcing that Hungary will not place special labeling on products made in the “settlements”
This time, the debate will feature just three candidates: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O’Malley. Or as viewers call them, “Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Bathroom Break.” – Jimmy Fallon
During the debate last night, Marco Rubio said, “We need more welders and less philosophers.” Graduates with a philosophy degree were so furious, they got on their parents’ computers and wrote angry emails. – Conan O’Brien
Apple announced a plan to create 1,000 new jobs in Ireland. Irish people were excited, until Apple told them, “It’s a Genius Bar, not a Guinness Bar.” – Conan O’Brien
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There will be setbacks and there will be successes. The terrible events in Paris were obviously a terrible and sickening setback.
ISIS isn’t necessarily evil. It is made up of people doing what they think is best for their community. Violence is not the answer, though. – Tweet by Minnesota House candidate Dan Kimmel (D). The backlash to this comment caused him to end his campaign
- President Obama when asked about a comment he recently made that ISIS is contained
A painting by the Italian artist Modigliani was just sold at auction for $170.4 million. It’s the second highest price ever paid for a painting at auction. A Picasso sold for $179.4 million. It’s actually a great value. For $170 million you’re not just getting the painting; you get the opportunity to be the target of a heist. – Jimmy Kimmel
Maybe it was stress. – A family member of one of the Paris terrorists who blew himself up, giving a possible “motive” for his actions
The fourth Republican presidential debate was tonight! And if you’ve watched all four ... you do know about Netflix, right? – Jimmy Fallon
No, we do not have to be guilt-tripped into fighting these barbaric groups that slit throats…torture and kill innocent civilians in the most cowardly ways possible. No, our values are strong enough to refuse to sink to their level, and instead, to turn towards reinforcing national unity against their aggression. No, we do not doubt that enlightenment and democratic progress are strong enough to stand up to such behavior, which is sending us back to prehistoric times. No, we are not afraid, and it’s because we have no doubt that we will continue to live as we choose, and to defend the policies that we believe to be essential. Amongst these is the climate change issue, which will determine, in the long term, the survival of mankind, and, in the short term, the demographic balance. – Huffington Post editorial
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We can remember the tragedy in Paris and still remember #Mizzou. We are capable of multitasking. Both situations are equally messed up. Not to take away from Paris at all but just how they’re getting news coverage and the world’s support, we deserve it too. # Mizzou – Two of many absurd Tweets by University of Missouri activists
First Ben Carson said he attacked his mother with a hammer, now Ben Carson’s mother is saying she’s the one who attacked Ben with a hammer. I don’t know about you, but that’s going to be one awkward Thanksgiving at the Carson house. – Conan O’Brien
The politics of it would be very, very different if a bunch of lawyers or bankers were crossing the Rio Grande. Or if a bunch of people with journalism degrees were coming over and driving down the wages in the press. Then we would see stories about the economic calamity that is befalling our nation. — Sen. Ted Cruz, on combating illegal immigration
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Political Crossfire
The Most Revealing Debate Yet By Charles Krauthammer
The Republican debate on CNBC was riveting, the way a train wreck is riveting – you can’t take your eyes off it. The Fox Business Network debate was merely satisfying. A serious political discussion requires a bit more work, but it repays the effort.
T
he CNBC affair was a contrived food fight during which substance occasionally broke out (such as the brief exchange between Chris Christie and Mike Huckabee on entitlement reform). FBN, on the other hand, conducted a meaty debate during which a tomato or two was occasionally tossed. John Kasich came itching for a fight. Donald Trump pitched back with his usual high-mindedness, responding at one point to Kasich with “I’ve built an unbelievable company worth billions and billions of dollars. I don’t have to hear from this man.” Despite such exceptions, the FBN debate marks the point at which the GOP campaign begins leaving the entertainment phase and entering the serious season. The moderators’ modesty and straightforwardness created an atmosphere of transparency that allowed the candidates to reveal themselves, advertently or not.
Kasich did. Unfortunately, it was an irritable self-righteous Kasich who showed up, doing himself no good. At the other end of the podium, Rand Paul had his best night. He certainly deserves credit for courage. His noninterventionist foreign policy is far outside the GOP mainstream, which is why Marco Rubio won the room in their exchange on defense spending and intervention. But Paul defended his minority view stoutly, regardless. Give him points for principle. In a year when showmanship is king, however, principle won’t help him much to get out of single digits. You could almost see Paul on the far right of the stage and Kasich on the far left dropping through a trapdoor, leaving six finalists. Or perhaps not six. Jeb Bush, too, had his best night. He was competent and solid but, unfortunately, still inarticulate. You almost feel sorry for the travail he is about to endure on his increasingly long-shot campaign. Carly Fiorina, strong on stage but weak on campaign infrastructure, showed herself tough as nails – the perfect VP. She can say things about Hillary Clinton that no man can. And she knows it. Tuesday’s best performers, unsurprisingly, were Rubio and Ted Cruz, the 44-year-old, silvertongued, Cuban-American, firstterm senators. Imagine them as a ticket. In 1992, Bill Clinton’s choice of Al Gore was as strategically brilliant as it was counterintuitive. Instead of balancing that ticket – old with
young, Northern with Southern, experience with energy – Clinton doubled down with his own mirror image. The “Young Guns,” as Newsweek memorably dubbed them on its cover, proved irresistible. (Others called it “Double Bubba.”)
You could almost see Paul on the far right of the stage and Kasich on the far left dropping through a trapdoor, leaving six finalists.
Which leaves the two outsider frontrunners. Ben Carson had an awful night – the Chinese intervening in Syria? But it was bookended and thereby saved by two good moments: his first answer, the pre-emptive “Thank you for not asking me what I said in the 10th grade,” and his closing statement about the suffering in the country being overcome by America’s inner strength. Trump shares with Carson the GOP’s vast anti-politics constituency, now fully half of the Republican electorate. Carson’s antidote to the nation’s failed politics is moral strength. Trump’s is unapologetic
brute strength. Trump did not have a particularly good night, either. He was again at sea on foreign policy. And when asked about the Trans-Pacific Partnership, the -12nation trade deal he opposes root and branch, Trump did his riff on the Chinese economic menace – to which Rand Paul calmly pointed out that China is not party to the TPP. Indeed, the main strategic purpose of the TPP is precisely to contain China by binding its Pacific neighbors to the United States, thus blunting Beijing’s reach for regional hegemony. Never mind. As long as the antipolitics mood prevails, neither Trump nor Carson is even dented by such policy misadventures. Tuesday night did not radically alter the trajectory of the Republican race. But it will hasten the winnowing of the field. If you narrow the viewfinder, the debate stage shrinks from eight to six to a possible final four: Cruz, Rubio, Carson, Trump. (Chris Christie, who shone in the undercard debate, has the best outside shot at crashing this group.) On Tuesday, all the contenders were required to show their hand. We saw character and we saw policy. Substance is never sizzling, but the FBN debate was both revealing and sobering: Which one of these can you actually see inhabiting the Oval Office?
(c) 2015, The Washington Post Writers Group
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Political Crossfire
Don’t Feed the Islamic State Narrative By Michael Gerson
A
s careful as we should be in drawing lessons from tragedy – and there is something particularly disgraceful in mounting a political soapbox at a funeral – the horrors experienced in Paris demand a renewed dedication to the prevention of future horrors. Islamic State terrorists have goals beyond a blood-drunk love of carnage: to discredit the Syrian refugees (whom they hate) and to encourage the perception of a civilizational struggle between Islam and the West. They are currently succeeding in both. Among other things, the terrorists hope to reverse the narrative of Muslim defeat in Europe that began in 732 or 1571 or 1683. Americans and Europeans should be offering a different narrative – a contest of shared values (including the values of most Muslims in the world) against a political death cult. What are the elements of the Islamic State’s strategy? Sunni terrorists have fought in local civil wars across the Middle East – exploiting the tribal politics of the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, and Sunni resentments against a petty Shiite despot in Iraq, and a civil war against a brutal, Iranian-sponsored despot in Syria – to gain a territorial foothold and raise the black flag of global jihad. They are stoking religious conflict between Muslims and Christians in order to attract recruits, including from Western countries. And one way to encourage the
appearance of civilizational conflict is through spectacular acts of murder that somehow (horribly) appeal to a Sunni Arab sense of historical disempowerment. This raises a serious, mediumterm prospect for the terrorists: to gain in morale, territory and recruits until they have the nonconventional capabilities to sabotage the great Western advantage and vulnerability – the global economy. Consider the effect that a radiological or biological weapon might have on London or New York – and on our world order of trade, investment, banking and travel. All of it is built on a fragile foundation of confidence. With the rise of the Islamic State in the ruins of Syria and western Iraq – wealthier and more capable than any terrorist group in history – the U.S. has a fateful decision to make in the Middle East. Destroying the Islamic State is necessary. But does America fight in effective cooperation with Shiite radicalism (Iran) and Russia? Or does America build and lead a more effective coalition of Sunni powers and European countries that are up for the fight, while countering Iranian influence? A rapprochement with Shiite radicalism to defeat Sunni radicalism (which was America’s approach during last year during the Iraq emergency) would be a terrible mistake. It would effectively ratify American irrelevance in the Middle East – giving legitimacy to the Iranian bid for regional dominance.
Adopting a “let them fight it out” approach is to encourage a regional Sunni/Shiite civil war in the Middle East, with Iran funding militias and supporting proxies (while we tacitly approve) and Sunni powers (secretly or not so secretly) funding Sunni militias and proxies of their own. This battleground is good for Shiite radicalism and for Sunni radicalism. It strengthens both through perpetual, sectarian jihad. And it could eventually produce people and movements
Europe, or Muslims fleeing Islamic State oppression, as a class of suspicious potential jihadists. Instead of blaming refugees, we need to make sure our counterterrorism and intelligence policies give us a chance to screen and stop any threat (which means keeping the post-9/11 structures of surveillance in place). But if American politicians define Islam as the problem and cast aspersions on Muslim populations in the West, they are feeding the Islamic State
Consider the effect that a radiological or biological weapon might have on London or New York – and on our world order of trade, investment, banking and travel. that strike America and Europe in ever more ambitious ways. This is the hard fact. Americans don’t want this role, but it needs to lead an alliance of Sunni powers (the Gulf States, Turkey, Jordan, Egypt) and NATO countries to crush the Islamic State. The current strategy of train, equip and bomb is not containing the threat. And we can’t rely on Iran and Russia to do the job without inviting new problems. And all our efforts are undermined by declaring Islam itself to be the enemy and by treating Muslims in America, or Muslims in
narrative. They are materially undermining the war against terrorism and complicating America’s (already complicated) task in the Middle East. Rejecting a blanket condemnation of Islam is not a matter of political correctness. It is the requirement of an effective war against terrorism, which currently means an effective war against the terrorist kingdom in Syria and western Iraq. As of now, that war is not being won. (c) 2015, Washington Post Writers Group
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In The K
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Kosherfest Top Picks By Naomi Nachman
This year’s Kosherfest event was one of the best I have been to in the last 15 years. The quality of kosher wines, meats, cheese and confectionary has evolved so much. I want to give a quick shout-out to a few outstanding products: Shay’s chocolate, who made the best caramels I have tasted; Eli’s Fresh Herring; Mina Shakshuka sauce; Elby’s Cheese from France; The Cheese Guy’s Cheese; Bootlegger Vodka; The Squirrel brand nuts; and Pelleh Poultry. I want to also give a special mention to Jack’s Gourmet Sausages – who won the Best New Product Award for their Pulled Brisket.
Hearty Shakshuka Ingredients ¼ cup olive oil 1 jalapeno, diced into small pieces, optional 1 small yellow onion, chopped 4 garlic cloves, crushed 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 tablespoon paprika 1 28-ounce can whole peeled tomatoes, undrained 1 jar Geffen marinara sauce Kosher salt, to taste ½ cup feta cheese, crumbled
½ cup cooked quinoa 2 cups kale, chopped 1 tablespoon chopped flatleaf parsley 6 eggs Preparation Heat oil in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add jalapeno and onions, and sauté, until soft and golden brown, about 6 minutes. Add garlic, cumin, and paprika, and cook, stirring frequently, until garlic is soft, about 2 more minutes. Put tomatoes and their liquid into a medium bowl and crush with your hands. Add crushed tomatoes and their liquid to the skillet,
Many of my social media followers know that I am obsessed with shakshuka. I am always posting pictures of my different shakshuka combinations and am very excited about Mina Shakshuka in a jar. It will save me some time when I try to whip some up for a Sunday brunch. Here is my quick, easy and very hearty shakshuka. Feel free to throw in your favorite ingredients. I have tried different combinations using goat cheese, feta cheese, za’atar, kale, spinach and quinoa.
then add marinara sauce and reduce heat to medium, and simmer, until thickened slightly, about 15 minutes. Season sauce with salt. At this point I add in my quinoa and kale and cook until the greens have wilted. Crack eggs over sauce so that eggs are evenly distributed across sauce’s surface. Cover skillet and cook until yolks are just set, about 5 minutes. Using a spoon, baste the whites of the eggs with tomato mixture, being careful not to disturb the yolk. Sprinkle shakshuka with feta and za’atar and parsley and serve with pitas, for dipping.
PHOTO CREDIT MELINDA STRAUSS
Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website,www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.
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Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LMSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
I
’ve been dating Avi for a number of months. I’m not a kid anymore, (O.K. – I’m 25 years old), and this is the first time that I’ve actually been in a relationship. Before Avi came along, there wasn’t anyone that I went out with more than three times. We’re getting serious and since so many of my friends are already married, I wanted a few of my very close friends to meet him so that I could get their reactions. I don’t know if that was a good idea, but it’s too late now to undo it. One of my friends arranged a gathering where we could all get together. I think Avi might have been a little nervous before this meeting, and as a result, I think he came off
a little tough. Kind of defensive, which he usually isn’t. Admittedly, he’s not the gentlest person I’ve ever met. He says what he thinks and maybe goes overboard a little bit. But I still think he has many great qualities that I’m attracted to. Meanwhile, my two best friends both told me in a gentle way that they thought Avi may not be right for me. They felt he was a bit aggressive and that I didn’t seem myself around him and I appeared to be quieter than usual around him. I don’t agree and don’t know why they are saying these things. Meanwhile, I do like Avi and am really anxious to settle down. I’ve dated for so long and am so tired of the whole spiel. I just don’t know whether I should take what my friends said too seriously or reject their warnings. Maybe they have ulterior motives. What do you think? Chana
The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, MS t seems to me that you should be questioning yourself rather than your friends. Why are their opinions so important? Why do you need their approval? Why, if you don’t trust yourself, are they the ones you are approaching? Are your friends mature and seasoned in their assessments? Are they the best judges of character, personality and fit? Did you consider a possible negative reaction and what you would do about it in advance? Have you considered being placed in such a situation where you would be sized up in a “group in-
I
terview” style by others? If they are such good friends whose opinions on the most important decision of your life seem to hold so much value for you, why would you even consider that they have ulterior motives? Another set of things to think about is your perception of a relationship and what is involved in a marriage. Do you have healthy relationships with other people in your life? Have you thought about how marital relationships work? Have you seen them? Have you thought about how marital relationships differ from relationships with friends and others? You may need to discuss the reality of marital relationships with a seasoned, mature advisor who knows
you well. Perhaps it would also be helpful to pay attention to some healthy, mature marriages around you without prying, while you begin to think and learn about some of the aforementioned. A troubling point that comes through your question is your strong interest in being married already. You don’t say much about Avi at all. Your query opens and closes with your desire to settle down and you discuss your friends’ reactions at length. Marriage is a long term commitment to another person based on understanding yourself, your potential partner and both of your values, needs, aspirations, as well as chemistry. It’s about living with another
person with whom you can grow and build. It’s not about being in the married state. Learn more about yourself, let your relationship skills mature with help, and choose the person – not the state of marriage – before you commit. Getting to know Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, MS... Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz is a veteran community activist. She has spent more than twenty years in social services both as an executive and as a board member of non-profits. She is a founder of Rachel’s Place, a shelter for homeless girls in Brooklyn. Rebbetzin Horowitz has a career
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015 2015 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29,
counseling practice and is a freelance writer for print and digital media. A columnist for Hamodia and Binah Magazines, she has been published in several anthologies and in Poetica Magazine. Rebbetzin Horowitz is currently the program coordinator in the Career Services Department at Touro College’s Flatbush campus and serves as the Rebbetzin of Congregation Agudas Achim of Lawrence.
The Dating Mentor Rochel Chafetz, Educator/Dating Mentor
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know it is too late now, but I don’t think that was such a good idea to arrange a get together with your friends in the way that you did. It’s possible Avi felt interrogated. After all, think how you might feel if the reverse was done – not a very pleasant scenario. You probably should have introduced Avi slowly, to one friend at a time. But that is moot at this point. What bothers me is how you are describing him. I think you need to continue dating him and observe carefully how you feel when you are with him. Can you be yourself? Are you quiet? Are you afraid to say certain things or give your opinions? When you do express yourself or ask a question, does he really listen and hear you or does he respond in a way that makes it clear that he believes his ideas make more sense than yours? Do you second-guess yourself when you are having a discussion with him? Do you sometimes think to yourself that his opinions are right and yours are not? You mentioned that he is not the gentlest person. Ouch! That does not sound good. How does he act toward waiters, the parking attendants, children? Have you seen him interact with children? What about when you bring up a recent tragedy that happened to klal Yisroel – do you observe his reaction? Is it appropriate and caring? I know you want to get married but you can’t get swallowed up in a relationship. You need to be loved for who you are and not what he wants you to be. Step back as if you are an
outsider looking in on yourself and watch how the two of you interact. Are you really yourself? Hard work but doable. Good luck. Getting to know Rochel Chafetz... Rochel Chafetz has been in Chinuch for over 30 years, teaching Chumash to grades 6 through 12. She taught in Prospect Park Yeshiva for 25 years, taught in Rabbi Wallerstein’s school for at risk teenagers and is currently teaching at SKA. Rochel is a mentor for teenage girls, which ultimately leads to coaching them through their dating years. She is now also a Kallah teacher. Rochel not only teaches them Taharas Hamishpacha but also helps them navigate their Shana Rishona. Rochel is also an inspirational speaker and gives weekly shiurim to women of all ages. She volunteers in the organization Sister to Sister for divorced women, and is a “sister” to two very special young women. Rochel Chafetz can be reached at rochelchafetz@gmail. com.
The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber
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here are several statements in your question that trouble me. Your anxiety about being 25 years old and single are palpable (“I’m not a kid anymore,” “I’m so tired of the whole dating scene”). Your desperation (sorry to use the D word) may have caused you to be less than prudent and expose Avi to your friends’ scrutiny. It goes without saying that your life partner is not a dress you try on for friends and ask, “Does it do anything for me?” Impressing your peers, neighbors or Tante Reizel is not a criterion for marriage. As the maternal presence on the panel, I will paraphrase your Mom: “Honey, you have to live with him.” That said, you raise valid issues. First and foremost, that Avi comes through as “tough,” “aggressive,” and “not the gentlest person” and that you acted “quieter” around him. Were your friends being friendly and open or aggressive and threatening (in or-
It goes without saying that your life partner is not a dress you try on for friends and ask, “Does it do anything for me?”
der to determine whether he is “good enough for you”)? His attitude may be a natural reaction to being under pressure, on the hot seat, as it were. At the same time, I am not surprised if you came across as “quieter”; your anxiety regarding their assessment of him and his discomfort under pressure curbed your enthusiasm. What to do with your anxiety? Three key suggestions. First, date longer. Forget your “exhaustion with dating,” dating has no deadlines. Choosing a husband is the most important decision you will ever make. Second, bring Avi home. You may think you have the wisest, most well-intentioned friends, but, hey, your family knows you longest and loves you best. The more you view Avi in context of your family circle (Shabbos meals, Sunday BBQs and the occasional bagel breakfast) the better you can assess his fit within the mishpacha (and the better they can evaluate him as husband material). Finally, seek professional guidance. If you still feel anxious and uncertain regarding Avi’s husband potential, your best investment at this juncture is a qualified therapist, dating mentor or spiritual advisor. These professionals have the objectivity, training and experience to help you address your qualms so that you can date effectively and make healthy, considered decisions. Getting to know Sarah Schwartz Schreiber... Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, mother of several and grandmother of
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“not enough,” is a native Los Angelino. Decades back, she married and settled in Midwood (aka Flatbush). Since then, Sarah has worked in several professional arenas – first as a medical writer and a pharmaceutical copywriter. Sarah eventually pursued her lifelong ambition and became a physician assistant. Currently, Sarah can be found triaging patients in the busiest labor and delivery room on the East Coast. Of all the jobs she’s held, Sarah considers her role as wife and mother to be the most thrilling and fulfilling vocation of all.
The Single Irit Moshe (pen name) When getting serious with a guy or a girl, one should want to introduce that special someone to the other important parties in one’s life, i.e. friends, rabbi, mashpia, children, siblings and parents. Only you know when the time to make such introductions are right for you. It is advisable to always consult with the person you are dating if they feel comfortable and ready too, as well. Inquire with this individual as to what setting would maximize their comfort when such introductions are made. Make it a joint effort to maximize success in order to reduce nervousness and/or defensiveness in such an important interview as this, which could make or break a relationship, as is evident from this scenario with Avi. Some people interview well and some people don’t. Nevertheless, it is important for you to get an objective opinion from someone who cares very much for you and hopefully that is their only agenda. If you notice his gruffness and accept it now, know that this is something that most likely will not change, but amplify after marriage. Some wives are able to smooth out their husband’s rough edges if they are willing to accept this sort of intervention. If that’s something that you can see yourself embarking on, then you have a shot. If you’re not looking to take on this type of work, then Avi may not represent marriage material for you.
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Wariness of the dating process or feeling anxious to marry should not be an excuse for accepting a marriage proposal from any man. It has to come from feeling loved, respected, safe and secure with him and you can’t see your life without him. Those should be the motivating factors for moving toward a marriage with someone. Getting to know Irit Moshe...
39-year-old woman who has dated in the Orthodox world some twenty years ago and is now “back on the market,” divorced with children. Currently being eligible, and “on the scene,” she feels her anonymity is important, both for her marketability, as well as the sanctity of any of her past and future relationships she may be discussing with you, the readers. Irit’s background as a shadchon started back in her early 20’s, when she first succeeded in setting
Irit Moshe (pen name) is a
Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists
Dear Chana, You have gone on handfuls of dates with different guys, but find yourself in your first serious relationship with Avi. Clearly, there is something about Avi that has attracted you to him and has propelled you to maintain and nurture this relationship. The same can be said about Avi’s feelings for you. Here you are, twenty five (as you mentioned, “not a kid anymore”), wanting to settle down and begin married life. And of course you do! I believe in my gut that many of our readers who have been or are in a similar position will certainly understand this desire. The panel has considered your driving force to be “anxiety” and maybe desperation but I am not so sure. You write that you are “anxious” to settle down and you are tired of dating but certainly from your email you do not meet any criteria for being diagnosed with anxiety. My concern is that an unsubstantiated label may fan a spark into a flame. And if you are experiencing full-fledged anxiety… guess what? You are normal! The pressure on young men and women to marry by a certain age is enormous and exists in an environment that is not al-
ways conducive to what is in the best interest of our singles community – and only perpetuates more anxiety. Furthermore, Chana, I can completely understand your desire to introduce Avi to your tightknit group of friends. Outside of Orthodox circles, people introduce boyfriends and girlfriends to their friends all the time. Reasons are varied. Perhaps they are excited about this new person in their lives and want their friends to get to know him. Or, perhaps someone is sensing something may be off, but can’t put their finger on it. Who better to turn to than trusted friends whom you can rely upon to give you honest feedback? What is of importance to me is not to tell you whether it was right or wrong to introduce Avi to your girlfriends or how the meeting was implemented. We can guess and analyze your and Avi’s behaviors during the gathering until the cows come home. What is worthy of exploration is to address why you wanted this meeting. You mention that you wanted your friends’ “reactions.” Re-
up several matches, who now have thriving families of their own. In her late 20’s, she worked in the secular world as a social worker for several years with the ill and geriatric communities. In her late 20’s, after her divorce, she experienced living within various Jewish circles, both on the east and west coasts and has observed the distinct differences in dating styles per coastal region. At present, Irit works as a certified life and dating coach, aiding other shadchanim with thinking “outside the box” as well as coordinating local events. Irit looks forward to hearing from you
actions to what? You mention that he is “not the gentlest,” “says what he thinks,” and “goes overboard.” That is a vague description for a wide range of possible behaviors. There is a difference between a man who receives your call with “What’s up? I don’t have much time to talk!” and “Get to the point already, will you?” I wonder if any of your descriptions about him prompted you to get your friends’ opinions and feedback because you yourself are not sure where on the pendulum Avi’s behaviors and actions lie. I will reflect to you one potential red flag I picked up on in your email. You made an excuse for Avi’s being “a little tough.” What does “a little tough” look like? You chalked it up to nerves. Healthy relationships do not allow for rationalizing bad behavior. Do you find yourself excusing or rationalizing his behaviors at other times? Only you know this answer. You end your email with the following question: Should I heed the advice and warnings of my friends, or reject their warnings? You are left wondering if your friends have ulterior motives in their assessment of Avi. Nowhere inherent in your question is the most important question of all, “Do I go with my gut? Do I go with my own assessment of Avi?” Please pay close attention to the next sentence. Read and reread it as many
Can you be yourself? Are you quiet? Are you afraid to say certain things or give your opinions?
and learning about your dating experiences and dilemmas plus sharing with you some of her own.
times as you need to: You say that he isn’t gentle and goes overboard but scratch your head at your friends’ feedback that he came off as aggressive. I ask you: When Avi is not “the gentlest” or “says what he thinks” or “goes overboard,” what do you do? How do you react? Do you hesitate, stop in your tracks, quiet down, get loud, become more emotive, etc.? Hopefully, this introduction of Avi to your friends will serve as a wonderful opportunity for you to reflect upon your motives, the dynamics in your relationship and the way the two of you treat each other. If this becomes too much for you to handle on your own, or if you share your feelings with Avi and the two are having unproductive, circular conversations about the issue, there are many qualified therapists who can be of assistance. All the best, Jennifer
The Navidaters are dating and relationship coaches and therapists. Located in Lawrence, NY, their services include date debriefing, dating skills coaching, couples counseling, premarital and marital counseling. The Navidaters can be reached at 516.224.7779. If you have a dating or relationship scenario you would like to be featured in WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF, email thenavidaters@gmail.com. Check out their website, thenavidaters.com for more information. Follow TheNavidaters on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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Parenting Pearls
Anger By Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Part III How do we help a child with an anger issue learn to control his anger so that it doesn’t control him?
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n the first two segments on this topic, we discussed the importance of a child recognizing that his temper is a problem for himself, giving the child confidence so that he can learn to control his anger, learning to identify the thought patterns of anger, and helping the child monitor his “anger level.” Following are some other important points to discuss with the “Angry Child”: Angry Glasses. Children love to wear colored sunglasses which make everything they view have a tinge of that color. It’s a great analogy to help a child realize that when he’s angry he’s looking at everything happening around him with “Anger Glasses.” (The truth is that we view everything that occurs through the prism of our emotions, not just anger.) Just as when someone wears green sunglasses it makes everything look green, when someone is angry he views everything in an angry and more negative manner. For example, if a child is walking down the hall and someone steps on his foot, his emotional state at that time will “color” how he processes and reacts to what occurred. If he’s in a good mood, he may react benignly by mildly asking the perpetrator to be more careful. But if the child is in an angry mood he may become emphatic that the perpetrator did it maliciously and he may react in kind.
All of the perpetrator’s claims that it was inadvertent will fall on deaf ears. Fixed Thinking. When we are angry we also become very convinced that we are right, and we have a hard time viewing the situation from another person’s perspective. Impulsivity. When angry we become more impulsive and our reasoning becomes more irrational. The biggest challenge is that we are convinced that we are thinking clearly and that the way we reacted was rational and justifiable. It’s often not until we calm down that we can reflect and recognize that we weren’t as right as we first thought.
With younger children I show them a sketch of a human body and we circle together the parts of the body that may be affected when we become angry. This can include sweaty palms, tightening in stomach, clenched fists, gritted teeth, scowl, nose flaring, red face, sweating, etc. This too helps the child identify his anger so that he can learn to control it before it erupts. Once the child has a decent understanding of anger, then we can offer him various tools to use to help him control his anger. It’s helpful to have a full “toolbox” of ideas. This way the child can decide which suggestion is most helpful to him in any given situation. Following are a sampling of some
helpful tips and ideas. Although some may sound overly simple, it’s still helpful to remind the child of his options: ◊ If possible, walk away from the problem. Give yourself time to calm down. What emotion most often follows an angry outburst? Most will agree that it’s often sadness. We become sad about things we did or said while we were angry, or about unresolved issues which now only been exacerbated by our blowup. If a child can remember that subsequent sadness before he loses himself, it can serve as a good reminder that he should walk away and calm himself down before he says/does something he may regret. ◊ Take deep breaths. On a physical level, when we become angry, our heart beats faster and we feel a surge of energy. Deep breaths help regulate our rapid heartbeat so that we can begin to relax and literally let out the intense energy coursing through us. If a child understands that dynamic he is more likely to try to do it. ◊ Count to ten. As mentioned earlier, when angry we are impulsive and judgmental. Counting to ten helps ensure that we do not act to rash or impulsively. It gives us a moment to pause and slow down before we act. ◊ Divert attention away from source of anger – exercise and/or have fun. When we become angry we often get “stuck” in it and cannot pull ourselves out. If someone falls into a pit, his instinct may be to keep digging vigorously to tunnel his way out, even though that is the worst thing he can do because he will only end up digging himself into a deeper rut. ◊ Talk about it with someone who cares. ◊ Put your feelings on paper. For younger children it can be helpful to draw how they are feeling; for older children it can be helpful for them to write their feelings. President Lincoln was known to write letters to his antagonists and those who angered him. But he never mailed those letters. Instead he placed them in his drawer and left them there. In this way he was able
to vent his feelings in a controlled and healthy manner, without hurting anyone, or deepening any preexisting rifts.1 ◊ Decide if the problem is worth getting upset about. Not everything has to be made into an issue. Sometimes a child can realize afterwards that what he thought was a big deal really isn’t so important, and he can just let it go. ◊ Discuss it with an adult you feel comfortable with. Of course this option is there, but we want the child to have other options he can turn to first, and so we list this last.
KEY POINTS
• Help the child realize how his thinking and reactions change when he becomes angry • Help the child recognize what happens to his body when he becomes angry • Give the child as many practical options as possible of what he can do when he becomes angry How parents should react to their explosive child? How should the parent react to the child’s blowups and how can they help their child learn how to deal with his/her own anger? We will address those questions in the next segment iy”H. 1 My Rebbe, Rabbi Berel Wein, relates that he often would utilize President Lincoln’s approach. On one occasion his secretary inadvertently mailed out one such letter. Rabbi Wein braced himself but no reaction was forthcoming. A few weeks later the letter came back, “returned to sender because of postage.” G-d had protected him. Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is the Rabbi of Kehillat New Hempstead. He is also fifth grade Rebbe and Guidance Counselor in ASHAR in Monsey, and Principal of Mesivta Ohr Naftoli of New Windsor, NY, and a division head at Camp Dora Golding. Rabbi Staum offers parenting classes based on the acclaimed Love & Logic Program. For speaking engagements he can be reached at stamtorah@gmail. com. His website is www.stamtorah.info.
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Dr. Deb
Working with Teens – A Fourth Way By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.
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here are three common approaches to raising children and I’ve discussed them here. I’d like to explore a fourth way, one which is particularly suited to teens. To review, there is the “permissive” way in which children get to run the house, either because the parent is too busy to notice or because the parent feels guilty to exert discipline on the
children. The guilt may come from the parent’s own background. It could be that, growing up, the parent was abused and is not clear on the fine line between abuse and discipline. The parent, understandably concerned, uses the child’s protests as a sign that perhaps she or he is pushing the child too hard. Let’s say that the child must study
for a test in school. The parent reminds the child to study and then the child, knowing that he has outwitted his parent before, comes up with a “stomachache.” What is the parent to do? He certainly doesn’t want to disbelieve the honesty of the child and he also doesn’t want to be taken for a fool. The parent’s best course of action here would be to test the stomachache theory by sending the child to bed an hour early, lights out. If the child then has a miraculous recovery, the parent knows what was going on. Unfortunately, many parents are too afraid to test the situation in this way. I’ve seen countless parents with their children in the store carrying on and the parent is afraid to exert any parental authority. That is one style of parenting. A second one we’ve talked about is to, indeed, exert authority. The parent has articulated the rules in the past very clearly and the child has been asked to explain why he is getting a punishment when it has to happen. The house is run in a quiet way, but there is the right amount of fun and laughter. There is an expectation of hard work on the child’s part and the child, perhaps reluctantly, but without excessive protest, does the work. There is a third way which occurs when the parent is unclear about those boundaries between authority and abuse. The parent is hoping for Style II and isn’t getting it, so he comes down very hard on the child. There is yelling, incredibly harsh groundings, and even potches to younger children. This, of course, doesn’t work well. It inspires rebellion and cuts off the child from the family. I always sus-
pected that the old people who are neglected in nursing homes either raised their children with Style I or III. With Style I, the child can become a narcissist, thinking the world centers around him just as it seemed his parents thought so. If so, he has no idea that he is supposed to give back, even when his parents are elderly and in need. With Style III, the child not only rebels but wants as little as possible to do with the parent. The child grows to feel that his parent must hate him and he therefore cuts himself off. Parents reading this may wonder how it is possible for the child to feel hated when that same parent may send the child to the best schools and summer camps, buy the child expensive gifts and make other indulgences. The answer is simple: Both Style I and III lack a true relationship with the child. The parent doesn’t really know his child and the child certainly doesn’t know his parent. The gifts and expenditures don’t even cross the child’s mind as part of parenting or part of the relationship. I still remember a parent complaining to me that although he did everything for his child, his child did nothing in return. He set an example, didn’t he? Well, yes, but why would the child think he has to follow that example? It doesn’t come naturally, after all. It has to be taught. Enter the Fourth Style. I realize, in retrospect, that although my parents a”h had clear rules and expectations, they were not heavy on rewards and punishments. There were no star charts. They were not permissive and they were not harsh, either. I can’t recall either one of them
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ever raising their voice. I think they held with Style IV. And I don’t think I’ve discussed this enough in these pages, although it may be the most important of all.
STYLE IV IS ABOUT CONVERSATION
A conversation is made up of two equally significant parts. If either one of them is missing, there really is no conversation. One part is expressing yourself. There’s a catch here, though: Over-sharing can become lecturing and that, automatically, takes what’s happening out of the realm of conversation. The other part, especially with regard to kids, is not only listening, but asking very precisely crafted questions – and then listening to the answers. Without the precisely crafted questions, you can also end up listening to a child’s tale of woe, which is exactly what you don’t want. Either party can become too longwinded for the thing you’re having to be called a conversation. The art of asking the right questions revolves around helping the child
to think. Your goal in life is to help your child become an independent and a critical thinker. Thinking independently is a virtue only if it is accompanied by critical thinking. Otherwise the child may just be reacting to you by taking opposite positions for no other reason than to feel like a separate individual. While that separateness and independence is good, it still must be accompanied by that other element, critical thinking. Here are the sorts of questions I’m talking about: “So what do you think would happen if…?” “Do you really believe that…? Why?” “How will you handle … when … happens? “What do you plan to say to your teacher about this?” “What would have to be different for this to be more fair in your eyes?” “How do you think … feels about this? Why do you think so?” “Was there ever a time when … was not the case? How do you account for that?” Now, when you combine all that with you sharing your expertise and
wisdom with your child (in small doses), you have a powerful brew. This is a good part of the stuff of relationship building. Yes, relationships are built
Yes, relationships are built out of ball games or visits to the mall, but the true essence of relating to your child is meeting their minds – and them glimpsing yours.
out of ball games or visits to the mall, but the true essence of relating to your child is meeting their minds – and them glimpsing yours.
Here’s the beautiful part of Style IV: It can be used when everything went wrong before. That is, if you were too permissive or too authoritarian or you did everything properly by the book (Style III) but didn’t feel connected to your child, then Style IV is for you. It’s for starting all over, fresh, and it works great for adolescents because they’re too old to boss around and too old for star charts. Too much permissiveness can’t be reined in with mere taking away of privileges anymore – soon they’ll be going to work and earning their own money. But a meeting of the minds – that’s a different story. That opens up all sorts of possibilities. Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage & Family Therapist and best-selling author of The Healing Is Mutual: Marriage Empowerment Tools to Rebuild Trust and Respect—Together. Attend the Food For Thought lectures at Waffelino Restaurant at 310 Central Avenue in Cedarhurst on Tuesdays at 9:45 AM. Any questions, call 646-54-DRDEB or check out her website at http://drdeb.com. All stories in Dr. Deb’s articles are fabricated. See Dr. Deb on TorahAnytime.com.
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Education
Show Me the Money! By Rabbi Mordechai Kruger
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how me the money!” This bon mot has entered our lexicon as a way of saying, “I’m ready to work as soon as you are ready to pay me some big bucks.” My clients may not say it exactly this way, but they often list “pays well” as one of the things they seek in their future career. After all, as Tevye in “Fiddler on the Roof” said long ago, “It’s no shame to be poor, but it’s no great honor either!” Most people have a list of the “good jobs,” i.e., the ones that pay well. Doctor, lawyer, maybe a few others get high marks. Teachers, social workers, and a lot more get crossed off. Especially if you want to live in a religious neighborhood, well, there really are only a few options, aren’t there? This creates a professional conflict for me. Clients come to me for help in deciding on a career to pursue, and I always try to guide them to a field where they can use their unique set of skills, talents, and goals to produce something meaningful and valuable. But if my idea of “valuable” doesn’t translate into the kind of income they had in mind, well, sometimes they decide to look elsewhere for guidance, thank you very much. I’ve even had parents “reverse” my suggestions for their children; they felt that the field that fit the children’s professional goals didn’t fit the parents’ financial ones. I guess they figure that one day they might have to move in with their kids so they want the accommodations to be up to their standards. There seems to be a lot of confusion on this issue. Recently, a pretender to the Republican nomination (sorry, I can’t bring myself to call these clowns candidates) argued that there should be more support for vocational training, a policy that I would wholeheartedly support. But then he had
to keep talking, which is never a good thing. So he asserted that there should be less support for philosophers, since welders make more than philosophers. Moreover, we need, he claimed, fewer philosophers and more welders. There are so many points there that are irrelevant, meaningless, or false that it is hard to know where to begin. Wouldn’t it have been nice if he had said, “Some people make great contributions to society as welders and some as philosophers. We have done a good job of setting up programs to support future philosophers, we should do the same for welders. It doesn’t matter whether a person makes more or less money (actually, philosophers make more, but no matter…), our support for education should enable every person to get the skills and training which is right for them.” Well, enough about politics – what about the personal decisions that really matter? Even if we accept the idea that a “good job” is synonymous with a “big paycheck,” the idea that certain jobs lead straight onto Easy Street is simply not true. For example, today, about the only thing about going into medicine that’s nearly guaranteed is the huge debt that accumulates in medical school. Law school graduates are suing their alma maters because entry level jobs are low-paying and scarce. Banking, IT, name any field, there are lots of people doing well, and lots more that are not. Does that mean that law or med school today is a bad idea? Of course not. All of these options are great ideas – for people who are committed to them despite their challenges. No one can sustain that commitment unless they are confident that their chosen field will allow full expression for the talents, skills, and dreams that they hold most dear.
Just as pursuing these “good jobs” is no guarantee of wealth, following your heart into teaching, social work, or a business that seems less than promising is not a prescription for poverty. The world is full of people who pursued idealistic dreams and because they discovered a way to do a job better than ever before or a talent for leading and inspiring others, they found both great satisfaction and financial security. Sam Walton (founder of Walmart) just wanted to bring decent prices to small town general stores. Bill Gates saw the technology
In a marketplace that provides limitless options, “good enough” is simply not good enough.
tsunami growing and wanted to be part of it. He had several partners who quit after a year or two because there was surely no money to be made with those silly toys. There’s another side to career choice. It comes from a realization that I’ve written about before: that in a competitive job market, there are 10 people who want your job and 10 businesses that want your customers. The only way to stay ahead is by delivering the highest quality work, and the highest quality product, and doing even better the next day. That can only happen when you are applying every
skill and talent you can muster to accomplish something that is meaningful to you. Without that, your work or your product might be “good enough.” But in a marketplace that provides limitless options, “good enough” is simply not good enough. There are job search gurus that assert that finding the job in which you can produce maximum value for your employer is all that really matters. That will be the job where you make the most money and feel the most success. While my guru status is far less established, I disagree. There is a fundamental point in career choice which is always acknowledged but often forgotten until it is too late. Everyone has seen so many instances that prove its truth that they forget to pay attention. It is that real satisfaction and career success simply have nothing to do with money. A fellow who can only fully express his talents, skills and values as a yeshiva teacher or a social worker can decide to live happily within the means that his work provides. But if he diverts his efforts in the name of mamon, one day he’ll wake up with an aching emptiness that nothing will cure. I have told many clients my rule in this area and all have agreed that I’m right. The rule is, you can learn to be happy with less money a lot easier than you can learn to be “monied” with less happy. If someone chooses a path that leads to less happy, there is simply no paycheck that will make that pain go away.
Rabbi Mordechai Kruger’s Job Search for Champions has helped clients of all kinds find the jobs they really want. He can be reached at jobsearchforchampions@ gmail.com
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Forgotten Her es
Submarines Ruling the Ocean’s Depths By Avi Heiligman
Part III Author’s note: Submarines are a fascinating topic that in order to properly cover it would take many more articles. This series of four articles is meant to be informative and not all-inclusive. In this article we highlight some important facts of the submarine war in the Pacific during WWII. There are many more stories about American submarines that will be written about in a future article.
USS Tautog
Commander Howard Gilmore in Hawaii
S
ubmarine warfare was a fairly new concept in the 20th century and most countries except Germany had a difficult time making it a practical weapon. The Japanese used them to protect other warships and not attack merchant ships as the other countries were doing. American torpedoes had severe defects and the Bureau of Ordinance turned a blind eye to the problem. The British, Italians, Russians and French were still old school in their approach to naval warfare and simply didn’t produce them in numbers to make a major difference at the beginning of the war. By the end of World War II, submarines had become a legitimate weapon for the Americans and the Allies. Japan’s first submarines were built by Americans, and two Americans were sent to Japan to help them build their own boats. They saw
The USS Torsk was built at the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard
the success of the German U-boat during WWI and spent the inter-war years building up a vast array of submarines. At the outbreak of hostilities with the U.S. in 1941, Japan had fleet submarines meant to sail with the fleet as opposed to individual patrols, regular subs with some that could carry aircraft, supply subs meant for use by the army, shorter range subs, midget subs, and manned suicide torpedoes called Kaitens. They also had the world’s largest submarine, the I-400, which could
The submarine USS Lagarto, which was lost with her entire crew in May 1945
carry several bombers and advanced torpedoes which was an upgrade from the famed Long Lance torpedo. Despite all of these innovations, the Japanese submarines were not built in large numbers and were used to attack much larger warships that could fight back with devastating effect instead of merchant ships. On September 9, 1942, a plane flying off of the fleet submarine I-25 dropped bombs on a forest in Oregon causing massive fires. It is believed to have been the
only attack on the mainland U.S. during the war. The I-168 delivered the final blow that sank the badly damaged carrier USS Yorktown and sank the destroyer USS Hammann as well. On September 15, 1952, the I-19 sank the carrier USS Wasp and damaged a battleship and another destroyer. A few other American warships were damaged or sunk by Japanese submarines including the USS Corvina, which was the only American sub sunk by a Japanese counterpart. The last two years of the
war saw a decrease in Japanese submarine activity mainly because of the fuel shortage and increase in the American anti-submarine effort. The I-58 did manage to sink the heavy cruiser USS Indianapolis just two weeks before the Japanese surrender in 1945. It marked the last major naval disaster for the U.S. Japanese subs only sank about a million tons of Allied shipping which in contrast was just one-fifth of the American submarine total. Most of the time, they were busy transporting men and supplies or protecting the fleet. Allied commanders in the Pacific were spared the trouble of having to deal with enemy submarines wreaking havoc among merchant ships. This was due to the Japanese infighting and not understanding the full potential of the submarine. American submarines did not have the same issues as the Japanese but were plagued by a series of other problems. The main issue was faulty torpedoes. On the outset of war, most of the fleet was old S-class boats and even some 1920s era R-class boats saw action. Many of the captains were trained using old tactics and often cited for a lack of aggressiveness. Added to these problems was the diversion the Japanese created in the Aleutian Islands off of Alaska (which wasn’t a state yet). Several submarines, usually older S-class boats, were sent with their experienced
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
crews to keep an eye on the ever-changing situation in the Arctic. After the attack on Pearl Harbor, the U.S. Navy could only rely on her carriers and submarines. The carriers and their task forces were to
by the summer of 1944 the submarines succeeded in starving the Japanese Navy of their precious oil. Just before the war started, the first of the Gato class of “fleet” submarines were launched. 54 Gato class and Balao class
About 280 submarines went out on patrols and 52 were lost at sea
destroy Japanese warships that threatened American bases and the submarines went on search and destroy patrols. These patrols were to cut off Japanese supplies that were needed by the mainland to keep up the war effort. Oil tankers were first on the list of top targets of American submarines followed by troop transports. The Japanese could not sustain the war effort without oil and
submarines bore the brunt of the underwater navy for the U.S. Altogether they sank over 5 million tons of Japanese shipping and 30% of Japan’s navy including eight aircraft carriers. The USS Sealion was the only submarine during WWII to sink a battleship. The IJN Kongo was built before WWI by the British for the Japanese as a battle cruiser and was upgraded to
a fast battleship in 1935. She had wrecked havoc on American supplies on Guadalcanal that were crucial for the marines fighting the battle on the island. Until the Battle of Leyte Gulf in October 1944 she didn’t see much surface action during the war. Shells from the Kongo sank four American ships that were franticly protecting the landing zone in the Philippines. The Kongo received minor damage by bombs from planes and was sent to Formosa Strait in the East China Sea for repairs. The Sealion made radar contact with her in the predawn hours of November 21. Two of the six torpedoes scored hits; it took over two and a half hours to sink. The destroyer IJN Urakaze sank with all hands during the same attack by the Sealion. In addition to their patrols, American submarines were given special tasks such as supplying friendly indig-
enous forces in remote outposts and transporting high ranking officers and Special Forces. The USS Trout was returning from a resupply mission to the beleaguered troops at Corregidor early in the war when she took on precious cargo. 20 tons of gold and silver were loaded on the submarine to be evacuated before the Japanese invaded. Seven submariners were awarded the Medal of Honor for their service during WWII. One of them was Commander Howard W. Gilmore, the captain of the USS Growler. An enemy escort saw them preparing for an attack and rammed the submarine at full speed while raking them with machine gunfire. Two submariners were killed and the injured Gilmore realized that the boat needed to submerge immediately to prevent further damage. He ordered the bridge to be cleared but knew
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that he wouldn’t be able to escape into the submarine in time. Gilmore drowned but the Growler and the rest of the men survived. The submarine later sank due to unknown reasons. Submarines played a vital role in grinding the Japanese war machine to a halt. For sailors onboard it was considered an honor to serve but dangerous as well. About 280 submarines went out on patrols and 52 were lost at sea. These lost submarines are referred to as being on “eternal patrol.” In the next and last article of our series on submarines we will delve into the depths of submarines in the nuclear age.
Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.
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The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Rocky’s
Rant
Brooklyn Blues By Rocky Zweig
I
barely recognize myself lately. I don’t mean it literally, of course. Actually, I kind of do mean it literally too, but that’s another issue. I mean it literally because pretty much every time I look in the mirror I notice something new has taken up residence on my face. It’s never anything major, and you probably wouldn’t notice. But I’ve been looking in the mirror for long as I can remember and these unexplained lumps and bumps never used to simply sprout out of nowhere, changing my facial topography virtually overnight. I’ve been to my dermatologist and he says they’re nothing, but I know for a fact that they’re not nothing, because I can see them. That’s like telling me, “See that can of tuna fish over there? It’s not there.” That’s ridiculous, right? On the other hand, I know of some things that do exist that I’ve never seen like air or normal mothers-inlaw. Or so I’ve heard. But what I’m talking about now is not recognizing myself through my writing. I think I’ve lost my edge, right? Think about it: last time I complained about anything was the article about iPads, and that was way back at the beginning of September. Since then it’s been a veritable potpourri of namby-pamby, feel-good stuff. Not like me at all! Please don’t tell me I’m mellowing in my old age; it’s taken me years to perfect my curmudgeonly ways and my exquisite grumpiness. It’s high time I found something to complain about. And I have. Brooklyn. Brooklyn is driving me nuts. Please don’t get me wrong: I love it here. I also love Swiss Fudge cookies, but I know that the manufacturer has laced them with something addictive (nicotine, maybe?) and therefore I do not eat them. I have lived in the Borough of Kings essentially all my life. Born in Maimonides, lived in Boro Park until getting hitched in
’73, moved to Flatbush and have been here pretty much ever since. I say “pretty much” because of a 177 day stint I did in Lawrence with wife #3 in 2008 – and they said it wouldn’t last! But getting back to Brooklyn. As I’m sure you’re aware, Brooklyn has a lot of ma’alos. Where else besides Flatbush can you find a kosher restaurant on virtually every block? Where else besides Thirteenth Avenue can you find a bank every hundred yards? There’s more shopping, more shuls, more yeshivos per capita than maybe anywhere else. So what am I kvetching about? So glad you asked. I can answer in two words: driving and parking. I’ll bet if you dragged all the drivers in Flatbush down to the DMV and made them retake their driving tests, not only would most of them flunk, they’d make ‘em sit in the corner with traffic cones on their heads and fire whoever passed them in the first place! To be a successful driver in Flatbush, you see, the first thing you have to do is forget all the stuff you learned taking lessons or in Drivers’ Ed, and adapt to your new reality: around here, it’s every man for himself. So rookie Boro Park/Flatbush drivers must learn new skills, like Cutting Off 101, Advanced Spot Stealing, the Art of Indiscriminate Honking and, of course, DWD (Driving While Daydreaming). And the parking is even worse. If you’re planning an excursion to Avenues J or M between Coney and Ocean Avenue, or Coney between J and K, leave yourself a good half hour or even forty-five minutes extra just for spot-finding, because you are in for some serious hakafos. And when you do find one, you’d better guard it with your life, lest someone sneaks up behind you. Or in front of you. Or drops from a hovering helicopter. Probably best to get out of
your car with a sign that says, “Forget it…this baby’s mine!” and wave it around furiously. Now, you might be thinking, surely he’s exaggerating. Surely it can’t be that bad. Surely he wouldn’t be considering leaving based on driving and parking agita alone. Right? Wrong. And how many times do we have to discuss not calling me Shirley? I think about leaving every time I drive from my place on East 13th and S to the Bagel Hole on Coney between J and K. That should take five minutes. It usually turns into a twenty minute ordeal. The light at Avenue P is all messed up and…and…never mind, you don’t need the specifics. Bottom line is, it’s enough to drive you insane. But I hesitate to pull up stakes because pretty much my whole family is here, and when you think about it, what else is there, really? Also, where would I go? So…in a bid to do some research, I took a field trip to the Five Towns a few weeks ago to see whether I’d be a good fit. The Five Towns is undeniably beautiful. But for me? It’s a little too beautiful. Here, take a look at this: I took this photo standing in middle of Central Avenue on a random Thursday afternoon. Did you hear that? I was standing in middle of Central Avenue, people! Where was everybody? I kept waiting for the tumbleweeds!
Now, check this one out:
Corner of Coney and J, taken from in front of a store called the Tzinius Princess. No standing in the gutter here, unless you want to end up looking like the breakfast special at IHOP. See what I mean? There’s hustle. There’s bustle. There’s hustle-bustle. There’s…well…you get the idea. Yes, Cedarhurst/Lawrence (frankly, I don’t know where I was exactly) has a certain suburban appeal, but we Brookynites have what I guess would best be summed up as ambience. In fact, we’ve got ambience by the sacksful:
You don’t see ambience like this out in Nassau County. Truth is, I don’t even see it anymore. I guess
The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
I’ve absorbed that Brooklyn grittiness for so long that I find it kind of…well…charming? Okay, it’s disgusting. But charming nonetheless.
The noise and the congestion and the shmutz…it’s so ingrained in me, I don’t think I’d be able to breathe anywhere else.
And get a load of this: This is the spanking new pride of Brooklyn, the Barclays Center on Atlantic Avenue, home of the 0-7 Brooklyn Nets (as of this writing). It opened to much fanfare in 2012. Notice anything peculiar about it? How about the fact that it looks like it’s rusted?? They did that on purpose! These geniuses spent one billion smackers, that’s billion with a b, to build a state of the art facility and then decided, “Y’know what? Let’s make it look like it’s been sitting here for 100 years and is on the verge of collapse. You know, like the neighborhood was before we built it?” How brilliant is that? And here’s another example of my theory that maybe the folks running my fair borough may have inhaled one too many diesel fumes over the years: for those not familiar with our native tongue, it reads, “Leaving Brooklyn; forget about it.”
Notice the sign is there when you’re leaving, not entering. Okay, how would you interpret that? To me, it says, “OMIGOSH, we know
you had a horrific experience no matter where you went or what you did, but be glad you escaped with your life. Now go home, have a glass of chamomile tea, and just erase it from your mind. And if you’re still having nightmares about, say, falling off the Cyclone into a vat of Nathan’s hot dogs, you might want to seek professional help.” Now I have one more photo that needs some ‘splainin:
I defy anyone to contradict me on this: there are no pigeons in the Five Towns! I noticed this way back in 2008 when I lived there. I saw a few doves, but not one pigeon. Okay, it’s not that I’m so enamored of these rather annoying creatures who have been described (quite accurately, I might add) as rats with wings. The thing is, I don’t get it. Why? How? Is there an invisible bird fence on the Queens-Nassau border like they use to keep dogs from running into traffic, and if a pigeon dares enter Long Island, he receives an unwanted electronic lobotomy of some kind? Or are there cardinals and blue jays and woodpeckers perched there telling them, “You gotta be kidding. You better turn around before the Hewlett Hawks get here and reduce you to fricassee!” Or do you just think it’s because you guys have less…um…ambience? So what have I decided here? Let’s see. I have my kids, grandkids, and my siblings. I have my ridiculous signage and my rusty arena; I have my dirty birds and bags of trash lying helter-skelter all over the place and no one even notices. I live on a block that had to wait till like May to be plowed during that massive snowstorm a couple years ago. And of course I have maniacal drivers who think they’re either on the Autobahn or at the Coney Island bumper cars on Surf Avenue. I just can’t take it anymore. And yet…I
love it. The noise and the congestion and the shmutz…it’s so ingrained in me, I don’t think I’d be able to breathe anywhere else. So I guess I’ll continue to grouse and grumble and bellyache till they carry me out of here in a box. Don’t forget to send my regards to DeKalb Avenue. You know what? I feel much better now; thanks for listening.
Rocky Zweig has been writing since he was sixteen and was the Editor-in-Chief of the late and decidedly unlamented Modieinu, the mimeographed (remember mimeographs?) newspaper of the Tenth Avenue Pirchei of Boro Park, where he wrote everything from stories to news articles to hashkafa articles to...yes (now it can be told!)...letters to the editor. Rocky was sixteen a very long time ago. He is the proud father of three marginally neurotic children. He has been married three — count ‘em — three times
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and has finally determined that he’s probably not very good at matrimonial bliss. He lives in his Fortress of Solitude in Flatbush with a small menagerie: Clarice, a European Starling; Rabbi Horatio LeZard, a Bearded Dragon; an aquarium filled with Lake Malawi African Cichlids; and a ten gallon tank that functions as a Home for Unwanted Goldfish, or H.U.G., collected over the years by his grandkids and great nieces and nephews at myriad street fairs and carnivals (rather than face the unpleasant task of flushing these unfortunate piscine creatures when they are eventually, inevitably ignored by their own obnoxious progeny, the parents simply call Uncle Rocky who then feeds them and cares for them until their ultimate natural demise three or four or even ten years down the pike). So apparently Rocky seems to get along better with animals than with his fellow homo sapiens. Or sapienses. Or whatever. Rocky’s column will be appearing every other week in The Jewish Home. Rocky can be reached at anidaati@aol. com.
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From My Private Art Collection
Vincent van Gogh and His Famous Painting “The Starry Night� By Rebbetzin Naomi N. Herzberg
Vincent van Gogh was born on March 30, 1853 and grew up loving to draw from a very young age. At the age of twenty-one he decided that he wanted to be a professional artist. He did try his hand at other careers but nothing satisfied him the way creating art did. He tried becoming an art dealer, social worker, pastor, and a missionary, to no avail. In 1886, Vincent decided to leave Holland and go to a place where he would find contentment in France to be with his brother Theo and create art.
V
incent and Theo had a very close relationship. He was lucky to have a brother who could financially provide for him. His brother also introduced him to famous people who Vincent could emulate and from whom Vincent could learn art techniques. One of these people was the famous artist Camille Pissarro, who served as his mentor. Vincent had a habit of using very dark colors in his paintings which was bothersome to Theo, so he decided to convince Vincent to switch to using more vibrant colors in his paintings. This was an accomplishment which Van Gogh ended up profiting from. His bright and shining pictures illuminate the homes of so many people.
Unfortunately, Vincent became ill at one point and was hospitalized for an extended time. During the time spent in the hospital, Vincent painted The Starry Night. It seems strange, but his timespan of being an artist was only ten years. He died at the very young age of thirty-seven. In his painting called The Starry Night, there is a landscape and stars which seem to emerge from heaven and swirl in a rounded motion surrounding a small village. He used his famous short brushstrokes to create the feelings of turbulence and a feeling of tension in this painting. He valued this particular painting very much and considered it one of his most precious creations. It
depicts a Dutch town and a bright yellow moon. This he explains to be suggestive of
It seems strange, but his timespan of being an artist was only ten years. a beautiful night. The rolling hills are easily defined. So what is this dark and dreary sky all about? He used vivid colors in this painting, as in so many others. It was done
with oil paints. He was a Dutchman, so that explains the Dutch feeling of the town. The swirls some say represent the turbulence in his life when he was not feeling well. The serenity suggests his relationship with feeling at home in a Dutch town. Vincent van Gogh tapped into his own creativity, developed his own unique style, worked on himself to learn interesting techniques, stimulated his mind, socialized and gained from a sense of satisfaction. He is considered one of the most famous and brilliant painters in the world of art. Vincent van Gogh produced 2,100 pieces of artwork which included at least 1,300 drawings, watercolors, prints and sketches, and 860 oil paintings. Quite a library, I would venture to say!
Rebbetzin Naomi N. Herzberg is a professional art educator, artist and designer. Among her known artwork is a floral sculpture presented to Tipper Gore, Blair House, Washington, D.C. Please feel free to email nherzberg@hotmail.com with questions and suggestions for future columns.
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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INWOOD
Clean & kept 4 bdrm, large kitchen, LR, Den, enclosed porch, beautiful backyard, bsmnt w/ laundry. Over 2,000 square ft. Great for a family. Asking Call Moshe 516-697-2504 $550K
5 TOWNS & CEDARHURST OFFICES 1-2 Rm executive offices available all utilities & internet included. Varied conference room. Locations & pricing. Call Sherri 516-297-7995 Large 4 room suite 2,250 Sq. Ft. 4 private offices, kitchen and reception, Cedarhurst location. Call Sherri 516-297-7995
#1 Far Rockaway and 5 Towns Rental Specialists
The Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 19, 2015
Great Loct! 2BR Ranch On 3BR Colonial, FDR, Eik, 80x100 Ppty, 2 Dens…$425K New Roof, Porch...$499K
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3BR, 2.5BA Split, FDR, Completely Renov Ranch Den, SD#14…$569K 3BR, 2BA, SD#14..$625K
3BR, 2.5BA Colonial, Eik, Great Potential Investment, Bright 5BR, 3BA Hi-Ranch, 5BR Ranch Set On 1 Acre Basement, SD#15..$679K Legal 2 Family, 6BR..$749K IG-Pool, Deck…$999,995 Property, IG-Pool..$2.2M
Susan Pugatch
Carol Braunstein
(516)
Call or Text
295-3000
www.pugatch.com
spugatch@pugatch.com
3BR, 2BA, Eik, FDR 4BR, 2.5BA, Lg MBR Renovated 3BR, 2BA 6BR, 3BA, Eik, Den, SD#14..$3,000/mo Suite..$3,250/mo Cottage..$3,400/mo FDR..$3,995/mo
1BR, 1BA, Elev Bldg, 2BR, 1st Flr, Gym, Renov 1BR, 1BA, Low 2BR, 1BA, Eik, CAC, Eik, LR/DR..$120K Near All..$199,900 Maintenance..$159K Elev Bldg..$215K
HEWL: 1185 E. Bdwy #3C(11-12:30)$215K LAWR: 260 Central Ave - REGENCY(12-3) N.WDMR: 626 Flanders Dr(12-1:30)$639K WDMR: 3 5 1 D e r by Ave ( 1 2 - 2 ) $679K
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Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 APT FOR RENT
APT FOR RENT
FAR RACKAWAY Near everything. 2 bedroom apartment for rent on 2nd floor in a 3 floor house. Upgraded kitchen and bathroom. Available now. Heat, hot and cold water included in rent No problems with parking. Please call: 516-322-6515, 516 -225-4558
4 bedroom, 3 bathroom single family condo $2,400 / month. Newly renovated, newly refinished hardwood floors throughout entire house, living room, dining room, large eat in kitchen with pantry, lots of windows, new porcelain flooring, laundry room with washer / dryer, garage, backyard with space for sukkah, access to communal pool, Central Air/heat, parking space, Near Darchei and beach. Call / txt 323-314-8773 or email rivkalock@gmail.com
LAWRENCE: Stunning, Spacious & Totally Renovated 3BR, 2 Bath Cottage Situated on 2 Acres Of Manicured Ppty Surrounded By The Lawrence Golf Club, Lg Updated Eik, Washer/Dryer, Use Of Backyard & Patio…$3,400/mo Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com 4 bedroom, 3 full bath, duplex on Beach 12 Street. Renter controls Central A/C and heat, Washer Dryer Hookup $2,600 Available immediately. Please call or text 516-668-8199 Brand new luxury 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment in central Far Rockaway 2 Family home. Features: Private entrance, 1 car off street parking, Sukkah porch. Large eat in kitchen with new appliances, Living room, Dining room, Additional storage in attic, Separate heat, A/C, hot water, Washer/Dryer Hook Up, Walk to all Call 1-917-415-0055
WANTED:
CEDARHURST 500-3,500 +/- SF Beautiful, newly renovated space for rent. Ideal for Retail or Executive offices. Prime location. Convenient Parking. Call Sam @ 516-612-2433 or 718-747-8080 ON SEAGIRT AVENUE 2 & 3 bedroom. Newly renovated. Washer and dryer hook up. Granite countertops. More info call or text 917-602-2914
FOR SALE ORIENTAL RUG Excellent Condition 10X13 FT $600 SMALL ANTIQUE BREAKFRONT Excellent Condition $800 516-569-2468
EXPERIENCED GRAPHIC DESIGNER
THAT KNOWS HOW TO USE A MAC & IS KNOWLEDGEABLE IN ADOBE ILLUSTRATOR, INDESIGN, AND PHOTOSHOP PART TIME: MONDAYS & TUESDAYS
FOR INFO PLEASE CALL: 718 377-8016 OR EMAIL YOUR RESUME TO: graphicdesigner613@gmail.com
FOR SALE
SELLING BEAUTIFUL MAHOGANY AND GOLD DINING ROOM SET. Includes 13-ft. table (which opens up to 16-ft. and is 48in. wide); 14 chairs; 9-foot breakfront; and 8-foot buffet. All in excellent condition. Will enhance your dining room. Asking $7,500 for the set. Call 516-551-4888.
HELP WANTED Seeking Physical Therapists (part time) for Far Rockaway Pre School. Email resume to scohen@onourwaylc.org. EXPERIENCED BOOKKEEPER Organization near Brooklyn/5Towns To run, A/R, A/P, Payroll etc. Must have min 3 years’ experience and full knowledge of QB Part time – with the possibility of full time Email Resume: Jobhunt613@gmail.com
HELP WANTED Hamaspik is looking for Community Habilitation workers to work with special needs individuals in the evening and Sunday day hours in Far Rockaway, Five towns, and Flushing. Please call 718-408-5401 CATAPULT LEARNING Teachers for Title I in Boro Park andWilliamsburg Chassidic boys schools *College/Yeshiva Degree Required *Strong desire to help children learn *Excellent organizational skills *Small group instruction *Competitive salary Email resume: nyteachers@catapultlearning.com. Fax (718) 381-3493 Dry cleaner looking to hire EXPERT SEAMSTRESS / TAILOR to work in dry cleaning store asap. Main Street (Queens) location. Established clientele. Generous compensation split and opportunity to make extra money. Set your own hours. If interested please call Marc 917-612-2300 Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island is seeking a full time administrative assistant. Experience necessary. Please email resume to office@ykli.org
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Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 HELP WANTED ACCOUNTANT/BOOKKEEPER Growing company in the 5 Towns seeking motivated employee for Full Time accounting/bookkeeping. MUST have professional accounting experience previously to be considered, strong teamwork skills required. Submit qualified resume to admin@ getpeyd.com for details. Licensed Practical Nurse seeks position in homecare with the elderly or pediatric care. I am skilled, caring and dependable. Please call me at 631-759-0025 Physical Therapist Assistants (PTA’s) & Occupational Therapists Assistants (COTA’s)For 200+ bed Nursing Home in Queens. Must have Hospital or Nursing Home experience. Please email resume to promrehab@aol.com
MISC Tutors desperately needed for Zichron Etel, a gemach providing free tutoring to those who cannot afford it.
TJH Classifieds
Now in Brooklyn and the Five Towns! Kindly visit our website at www.zichronetel.com
Post your Real Estate, Help Wanted, Services, Miscellaneous Ads here.
Found stroller on Central Avenue. If anyone has lost their stroller or knows someone who has, please contact me at SL11691@yahoo.com Senior Jewish looking to rent a garage for storage in or near Far Rockaway ASAP 646-657-3131 Yehalomim Shelanu
Weekly Classifed Ads Up to 5 lines and/or 25 words 1 week ................ $20 $10 2 weeks .............. $35 $17.50 4 weeks .............. $60 $30
Special Programming Presents An after school program for the special
MISC FULLY OUTFITTED CAMP available in the heart of the mountains for the 2nd half of the summer. If interested email qmake40@yahoo.com
children of our neighborhood! Every Monday afternoon from 4:45- 6:15
Email ads to: classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com
Fun and educational run by talented
Include valid credit card info
and experienced staff Call 516-732-2949 for more information or to register
Deadline Monday 5:00pm
A UNIQUE EVENING OF
CLASSICAL MUSIC , FOR WOMEN
BY WOMEN
will be held בע״ה Motzei Shabbos, November 21, 2015 at Madraigos — 936 Broadway Doors open at 7:45 PM, Program begins at 8:00 PM (Next to Woodmere Bowling Alley, across from CVS)
Professional musicians and budding talent Suggested donation $50 Proceeds to Bayit Lepleitot
For further details call 718-471-7057
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Your
Money
Quantum Mechanics (or Something Equally Complicated) By Allan Rolnick, CPA
How big a tax bill would you have to pay before it really hurt? Would sending the IRS $10,000 do it? What about $100,000? What about $1 million? Would you toast the good fortune that left you with enough income to owe that much tax, or would you stamp your foot and call for the peasants to storm Washington with pitchforks and torches?
N
ow imagine that you’re hedge fund manager George Soros. You survived the Nazi occupation of Hungary and fled the Communist regime that succeeded them. You made $1.8 billion shorting the British pound and earned the nickname “the man who broke the Bank of England.” You’ve amassed a $24.5 billion fortune, enough to make number 24 on the Forbes 400 list. What’s your reward? How about a tax bill of $6.7 billion.
Soros started his Quantum Endowment Fund back in 1973. Since then, he’s grown that first fund into an entire family. Like most hedge fund managers, he charges a management fee based on a percentage of assets under management (typically 2%), along with an incentive fee equal to a percentage of profits (typically 20%). Ordinarily that would mean hefty taxes to accompany those hefty fees. But back then, the law gave hedge fund managers the op-
portunity to defer tax by reinvesting fees back into their funds. The problem with deferring fees like that is that your investors — at least the ones who are taxed here in the U.S. — can’t deduct your fees from their income. But that’s no problem. Just set up offshore funds for clients like pension funds and endowments that aren’t subject to U.S. taxes and keep deferring tax on their fees! Of course, when Washington sees how taxpayers take advantage of the rules in the real world, it’s easy enough to change them. In 2008, Congress closed that particular loophole and gave managers until 2017 to cough up the accumulated tax. Soros reports having $13 billion of his own money in the funds. He’s subject to 39.6% ordinary income tax, 3.8% net investment income tax, and 12% New York state and city tax. Crunch the numbers and that’s where we come up with that monster bill. But that 2008 law also included a loophole for funds based outside the U.S. that pay local tax. So, just one week before President Bush signed the new law, Soros formed a company called Quantum Endowment in Ireland, where the top tax rate is just 25%, then transferred his accumulated gains into that new company. Of course, that doesn’t mean he actually reports any profit. Instead, he issues investors something called “profit participation notes” and pays out most of the income as distributions on those notes. From 2008 through 2013, Quantum Endow-
ment has paid just $962 in tax. Ironically, back home in America, Soros has earned a reputation as a political liberal. Plenty of observers find it hypocritical ironic that a man who owes so much of his fortune to deferring his own taxes has chosen to dedicate part of it to causes like raising everyone else’s.
What’s your reward? How about a tax bill of $6.7 billion.
George Soros has invested millions of dollars to assemble a team of world-class professionals to manage his fortune. This includes the traders who help him manage billions for himself and his clients, and the tax advisors who help them all keep as much as the law allows. You may not have as much at stake as Soros. But don’t you deserve the same proactive attention to planning as he gets?
Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 yea rs in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.
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Life C ach
You Say Tomato, I Say Tomahto, You Say Potato, I Say Potahto... By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS
D
id you ever notice, how when referring to the Hebrew calendar, people say we’ve entered the month of __________, as if we open a door and walk right in to a month?! For instance, we’ve entered Elul, so we should start thinking about our behavior. Because, after all, Rosh Hashana is just around the corner. Like could we, perhaps, not turn that corner so that we don’t have to start working on our behavior?! Can we even avoid entering the month altogether?! I don’t think so. It seems that it would just take matters in its own hands and walk right in on us anyway! By way of support, I refer you to this well-known saying: When Adar comes in we are filled with happiness – M’shenichnas Adar marbim b’simcha.” OK, the good news is, at least it brings with it a positive attitude. But do take notice: it is not passively waiting for an invitation – it comes right in! Now let’s talk about the month we just entered, or more realistically, the one that just showed up – Kislev. I remember the days of studying for the English regents. My fascination with prefixes and suffixes and origins of words. And how one could kind of take words apart and put them together and find their meanings like a great detective game. Well, Hebrew is even better. Every word has a root and then
that root forms the underlying meaning of many other words and sentiments. For instance, a popular one is the word shalom – which also has the same derivation as shalaim – fullness and feeling complete. And obviously when you don’t feel full and complete, you couldn’t possibly feel at peace. And when you say hello and goodbye you are wishing someone that they feel that sense of wholeness. And when you pay someone, l’shalaim, you are taking something from them but making them whole again through the payment. And on and on... Or what about a less-talked about word, rachamim, mercy. Someone once said it has such a condescending sound to have pity on someone. I agreed that it could sound that way in the English language but that it was worth looking at its Hebrew derivation for some insight as to what we should feel. The word rachem means womb. Can you already begin to get a different picture? A place of protection comes to mind. A place you are nurtured and cared for. A place of unselfish giving. A place you are in the interior surrounded by many organs and external limbs to protect you. Wow, does that still sound pitiful?! Now let’s talk Kislev! Here I take some poetic license in playing with the word. Could it be read Ki- slave. In He-
brew ki = like. Like a slave. A month in which I might be stuck acting “like a slave.” Living in darkness. A servant to our material ambitions, not taking time to think of all we have already and appreciate it. Just plodding along as a servant, an unenlightened prisoner, were it not for the light of Chanukah to illuminate our good fortunes for us.
Just plodding along as a servant, an unenlightened prisoner, were it not for the light of Chanukah to illuminate our good fortunes for us.
How about, Kislev, which can be broken up into Kisl-Ave. So what is Kisl Ave? It is an avenue where everyone wears a kisl, kissel. A kissel would be the Ashkenazi pronunciation for kittel, the white garment we wear under the chuppah, on Yom Kippur, and at the seder. Picture a beautiful
avenue where everyone is strolling along in their pure white garment, only thinking of serving their maker. What a beautiful image to hold as the month of lights is entered. What about thinking of it as Kiss Lev? A lev, heart, that is kissed or full of kisses. A heart that can feel the love in the air, warmed by the light of redemption and rededication. How about a chassidish twist, Kissel-a-v. Now sing along with me: “You say tomato, I say tomahto; you say kissel, I say koysel! So how about reading the month as Koysel -A-V instead. And then use the “V” to stand for victory it could be read as Koysel aV, A Victory at the Koysel (or in Hebrew, Kotel). So however you read this month that we’ve just “entered” – either voluntarily or inevitably: May this month of Kislev be a time of: Konnection to G-d ISIS demise Salvation Love Awesomeness Illumination and Victory!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com
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Chai Lifeline Annual Gala
11.23.15 Marriot Marquis, NYC
Honoring
Kami and Dina Kalaty
Chai Heritage Award in memory of Sarina Kalaty (Sara Ruth bat Ephraim)
Cross River Bank
Community Service Award
Kevin McGeachy, FACHE
Executive Director Cohen Children's Medical Center
Maimonides Medical Achievement Award
Dani and Nini Ross
Camp Simcha Appreciation Award
Yehuda and Mati Alcabes Camp Simcha Appreciation Award
Illness robs children of so much. No more hopes. No more dreams. No more future.
Chairs
Marc and Shavi Bodner
Dr. Steven and Marjorie Kellner
Joseph Sprung
Jonathan and Anat Stein
Dinner Chairs
Dinner Chairs
Menachem and Mariam Lieber
Mordy Rothberg
Dr. Mark R. Sultan
Ezzy and Chavi Dicker
Dinner Chairs
Dinner Chair
Eli Rowe
Dinner Chair
Chai Lifeline gives it all back. Illness limits children. Chai Lifeline helps them see that life is limitless.
Join us on November 23.
The possibilities are endless.
151 West 30th Street, New York, NY 10001
Dinner Chair
phone 212.699.6658 fax 212.465.0949 www.chaidinner.org
Dinner Chairs
Dinner Chair
Alumni Chairs
Stephanie Levit Alumni Chair
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