Five Towns Jewish Home - 7-13-17

July 13, 2017

Distributed weekly in the Five Towns, Long Island, Queens & Brooklyn

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L’HIYOT MENSCH Meeting Our Jewish Brothers with Respect and Understanding

Pages 9, 10, 11, 13, 31 & 73

Around the

Community

pg

78

48 An Amazing Day at the Second Annual Gesher Century Challenge

46

Walking the March of Hope with the Girls of Camp Simcha

Back for a 4th Year !

LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, AND EFFECTIVE PARENTING Advice from Parenting Expert Brad Reedy pg

Op-Ed: Division at the Kotel is no Path to Unity

57 This Week We’re Talking to...

Camp Machane Yisrael

– See page 3

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

K

iruv is for everyone.

Not everyone would agree with the above statement, but I think it’s true.

You see, I think that when we use the word “kiruv,” people think of seminars and speeches and moving to Bumblebee, Kentucky. But kiruv is not necessarily about these grand gestures. In fact, I would say that the best way to bring our brothers and sisters closer to Yiddishkeit is with the small things – a smile, a hello, a wave.

Those who did not grow up frum are curious about their religious brothers and sisters. They know that there are customs and laws that we follow but they don’t know what they are and why we do them. By being pleasant and showing them that we are good people we can connect with them in a non-confrontational way. And then, when they have questions about Yiddishkeit, they know where to turn.

A few years ago, one of my parents’ neighbors, Inna, who is not religious, lost her mother. She was very distraught and was talking to my mother about her loss. At one point Inna asked my mother, “So, do I have to wear black the whole year?”

“Black?” my mother asked. “Why would you have to wear black?”

“Well,” Inna answered, “I always see religious women wearing black. Should I wear black to honor my mother’s soul the whole year after she died?”

Our family has a special relationship with Inna and her husband, Jan. When we would ride our bikes on the block, we would always wave as Jan slowly walked home from the train. Inna would greet us with a chirpy hello as she came home from work later in the day. They used to join us at our sedarim, came to my wedding, and have since connected with a religious shul for Russian immigrants. When Inna wanted to do something for her mother’s soul, she reached out to one of the

religious women she considered to be her friend.

Connecting as individuals is the principle behind the Be A Mensch foundation, the organization highlighted in this week’s issue. In Israel, where a certain type of yarmulke is a statement, there can be tension and anger between the frum and not-yet-frum world. A lot of that tension comes from misunderstandings and stereotypes. I would say that there are many chilonim, who grew up in Tel Aviv and attended public school and then the army, who have never met a chareidi. And I would say that there are many chareidim living in Bnei Brak or in Meah Shearim who have never met a chiloni. Yes, they see the non-frum policeman on the street or the religious MK in the newspaper, but have they ever sat down and chatted with someone from the “other side”?

That’s why Be A Mensch is so successful. The organization provides a neutral, calm setting in which chareidim and chilonim can meet as people – Jewish people. In their meetings they are not chilonim or chareidim; they are just people who are treated with respect and understanding. And they talk about meaningful issues that relate to all people. Eventually, after many weeks, these people become genuine friends and misconceptions are shattered. The chilonim no longer see chareidim as “parasites” in hats and jackets; they see them as their friends. It opens up their eyes to another world, a world that their grandparents were a part of. It shows them that that world is good and pleasant and filled with caring and understanding.

It gives them a taste of what life is like on the “other side.” Perhaps, and it happens in many cases, they come to ask questions about a Torah life and start to edge towards Torah observance.

But it all comes with love, friendship, respect and understanding.

Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

Yitzy Halpern PUBLISHER

publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Yosef Feinerman MANAGING EDITOR

ads@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka EDITOR

editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Nate Davis Editorial Assistant Nechama Wein Copy Editor Berish Edelman Mati Jacobovits Brocha Rubinstein Design & Production Gabe Solomon Distribution & Logistics P.O. BOX 266 Lawrence, NY 11559 Phone | 516-734-0858 Fax | 516-734-0857 Classifieds: Deadline Mondays 5PM classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com text 443-929-4003 The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine.

Opinions expressed by writers are not neces­ sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

8

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll

8

Community Happenings

35

This Week We’re Talking to...Camp Machane Yisrael

57

NEWS Global

13

National

26 Odd-but-True Stories

32

ISRAEL Israel News

86

20

Op-Ed: Division at the Kotel is no Path to Unity 60 A Year Well Spent by Elana Dure

L’Hiyot Mensch: Meeting our Jewish Brothers with Respect and Understanding

76 78

PEOPLE The Dyer Family: A Jewish Family of Heroes by Avi Heiligman

Dear Editor, Regarding “The Observant Jew: Mother of Our Country.”

Rabbi Gewirtz, I was distressed to read this week’s column where you seemed to say that bitachon is good because the belief itself has a benefit to your attitude even if Hashem isn’t really watching you.

This is lending credence to heresy.

Your column is printed in heimishe, frum publications so please be careful before casually implying that Hashem isn’t (chas v’shalom) really in charge.

Yehuda G., Lakewood, NJ

102

PARSHA Rabbi Wein

64

Leadership – Stay in Touch by Rav Moshe Weinberger

66

Rabbi Gewirtz responds: Thank you for not only reading, but for taking the time to write. I did not, chas v’shalom, wish to imply that Hashem is not in control.

Every one of my articles and divrei Torah underscores His involvement in every aspect of our lives.

The line to which you refer was

part of a discussion with someone regarding bitachon. I explained that believing in Hashem is good for a person and doing so even for selfish reasons would be a benefit. It would be a way of utilizing the yetzer hara of wanting a good life and serenity for avodas Hashem.

When I wrote, “Skeptics may say I have no proof; that G-d isn’t involved in every aspect of my life, and perhaps they’re right,” I intended to convey my response to them. I have no need to try to convince someone of something they do not want to believe. Even if they’re “right” and I have no “proof” that will satisfy them, that doesn’t change the fact that I do believe and their doubts don’t have to be mine.

To avoid arguing with them, I grant them that even if they are correct (and they’re NOT!), my approach is still better than theirs which just leads to doubt and unhappiness. It is not a concession but

JEWISH THOUGHT Consistency and Constancy by Eytan Kobre

68

There’s a Lesson There Somewhere by Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

70

The Essence of Leadership by Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD

72

HALACHA The Three Weeks

74

HEALTH & FITNESS

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Please be aware that the eruv does not extend onto the boardwalk in Far Rockaway. Please do not carry or push carriages on the Far Rockaway Boardwalk on Shabbos.

Continued on page 8

Top 5 Tips for Handling Rejection Like Strong People Do by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn 86 Can Exercise Push Up Your Weight? by Aliza Beer, MS RD 88 Love, Acceptance, and Effective Parenting

by Eli Perlman, LCSW 90

93

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Chicken Wontons with Thai Dipping Sauce 92

LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW

82

Your Money

109

Hey, Lock Me Away by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

110

HUMOR Centerfold

62

Fine Wine by Jon Kranz

93

POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes North Korea: The Rubicon is Crossed by Charles Krauthammer CLASSIFIEDS

94 101 104

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The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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Continued from 8

a means of avoiding the fight they’re looking for.

To me, my relationship with Hashem is a source of stability in a world so full of uncertainty and gives me fulfillment and joy in all aspects of my life. The Torah guides me through indecision and helps me be the best person I can be, strengthening my relationships with others. Why would I throw that away just because someone else

doesn’t see it my way?

I daresay that anyone reading these articles would appreciate that I am attempting to strengthen bitachon, not undermine it. In that light, I hope the offending sentence now makes sense.

Dear Editor, Charles Krauthammer’s article, “Why Do They Even Play the Game?” was refreshing as it is not the usual rhetoric that we hear from

this political pundit. I’d like to offer something to his “conjecture” that losing is far more painful than winning is pleasurable.

I think Krauthammer’s “hypothesis” comes from a premise that we see so often in life. Many times we are heading towards a goal. It may be a position we’re looking for, a deal we’re about to close, a grade we want, a few pounds we want to lose.

We’re working and we’re sweating towards that goal. And we do it!

We succeed! We’re finally there.

But then we realize that it’s not as exciting as we anticipated to have reached the goal. Yes, we’re happy with the position or the deal or the grade or the few pounds we lost. But we’re a people of “holchim,” we’re always on the move. So as much as it’s exciting to have attained our goal, our eyes are onto the next prize that we want to win.

On the other hand, if don’t achieve that goal, and we’re stuck in our journey, our psyche is pained.

We so desire to want to achieve, to want to succeed. And when we can’t accomplish, our soul yearns for the lost opportunity.

May we always be able to work towards our goals and succeed – and continue succeeding!

M.S. Dear Editor, As a resident of Far Rockaway I am wondering if I am the only person who is asking this question: why on earth is the mayor of my city needed across the world to help with protests? Am I missing something? Didn’t we hire him to run this city – not to create chaos in other countries? The truth is, if de Blasio feels that he’s more needed overseas, I’d be OK with that. There are many more qualified individuals who can fill his place.

Confused, Avi W.

Dear Editor, I found it heartening to read Cindy Weinberger’s article this week on diabetes Type II and the possibility of reversing the disease with the proper diet. Our health is in our hands. Many people suffer from ailments – be it rashes, IBS, heart disease, high blood pressure, sleep apnea – and it is in their power to reverse some of their symptoms and problems. With the proper diet and exercise we can all lead healthy lives. Some people’s medicine cabinets (by the way, the bathroom is the not the proper place to store medications due the humidity and fluctuating temperatures) are stuffed with prescription medicines.

They run from doctor to doctor in vain. Why? Because they need to take of charge of their health. They need to eat right, exercise, and sleep well. So much of what ails us can be cured if we work on ourselves.

Chani Haber

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

The Week In News

Ceasefire in Syria

A ceasefire has been put into effect in Syria as part of an agreement made between the U.S., Russia, and Jordan. The plan was announced at the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany, after a meeting was held between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. The ceasefire is being hailed as a preview of greater cooperation between the U.S. and Russia when it comes to the war-ravaged country.

Three de-escalation zones were also announced by the leaders. Russian military police, along with their U.S. and Jordan counterparts, will initially ensure security in the designated zones. Southern Syria will be the first area that the U.S. will be party to a de-escalation zone.

The ceasefire will affect the Deraa and Suweida regions on the Jordanian border and the Quneitra region which borders Lebanon and the Golan Heights.

H.R. McMaster, the White House security advisor, said that the de-escalation zones are a U.S. priority. “The United States remains committed to defeating ISIS, helping to end the conflict in Syria, reducing suffering, and enabling people to return to their homes,” he said. “This agreement is an important step toward these common goals.”

This marks the fifth attempt at a ceasefire in Syria. The country has been steeped in conflict since 2011.

The first three ceasefires came apart within a few months. The fourth attempt in May was never enforced when rebel groups backed out of the deal right after it was signed.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced his support of the ceasefire but raised concerns over the possibility of Hezbollah becoming stronger in its wake. At a cabinet meeting, Bibi said that “Israel will welcome a genuine ceasefire in Syria, but this ceasefire must not enable the establishment of a military presence by Iran and its proxies in Syria in general and in southern Syria in particular. I had deep discussions about this last week with U.S. Secretary of State Tillerson and with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Both told me that they understand Israel’s position and will take our demands into account.”

Iran Helping Hezbollah Build Rockets Underground

Hezbollah is building at least two underground facilities in Lebanon to manufacture missiles and other weapons. The Iran-backed terror group is building a factory in Northern Lebanon and another along the southern coast, according to a report by a French magazine.

According to an article recently published on Intelligence Online, one of the factories is meant to produce the Fatah 110, a medium range missile. The Fatah 110 has a range of approximately 190 miles, enough to cover most of Israel. It is considered to be a fairly accurate missile and is capable of carrying a half-ton warhead.

The David’s Sling anti-missile defense system that Israel employs is meant to stop medium range missiles like the Fatah. The new facilities in Lebanon are a big upgrade for Hezbollah’s usually pieced-together arsenal. The rockets are far more accurate than Hezbollah’s usual homemade rockets. Rockets produced by some of Hezbollah’s new factories have already been used by Hezbollah

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

in battles in Syria.

Israel’s defense minister said that the Israeli government is “fully aware” of the rocket factories and that “we know what needs to be done… We won’t ignore the establishment of Iranian weapons factories in Lebanon.”

Violent Protests Break Out at G20 Summit

Protests in Hamburg during the G20 summit turned very violent at times. The anti-globalization protesting groups got into multiple clashes with police during their three day protest.

Police forces and SWAT teams used water cannon trucks to blast the protesting crowds, which threw iron rods and blocks of pavement at authorities, even after the G20 leaders had left Hamburg. “If people did this in Egypt they would be shot,” marveled Ibrahim Ali, a 29-year-old Egyptian who came to Hamburg in 2011. “The state provides everything: housing, unemployment benefits and education. Yet those people are not happy. I don’t get it.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel condemned the protests.

“I have every understanding for peaceful demonstrations but violent demonstrations put human lives in danger,” she chided. Over 200 people were hurt in the protests. It is still unclear, though, how many of those were protestors and how many were riot police or innocent bystanders.

ISIS Leader Killed The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights related on Tuesday that it had “confirmed information” that Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has been killed. The

report came just days after the last sectors of the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, which Baghdadi’s forces overran almost exactly three years ago, were recaptured by the Iraqi army.

Last month Russia’s Defense Ministry said that it might have killed Baghdadi when one of its air strikes hit a gathering of Islamic State commanders on the outskirts of the Syrian city of Raqqa, but Washington said it could not corroborate the death and Western and Iraqi officials have been skeptical. “(We have) confirmed information from leaders, including one of the first rank who is Syrian, in the Islamic State in the eastern countryside of Deir al-Zor,” Rami Abdulrahman, director of the British-based war monitoring group, told Reuters.

Abdulrahman said he had been

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told by Islamic State sources that Baghdadi had died, “but they did not specify when.” The sources said Baghdadi had in the past three months been present in the eastern Syrian countryside around Deir alZor. Baghdadi was born Ibrahim Awad al-Samarrai in 1971 in Tobchi, a poor area near Samarra, north of the capital, Baghdad, in Iraq. His family included preachers from the ultra-conservative Salafi school of Sunni Islam, which sees many other branches of the faith as heretical and other religions as anathema.

He joined the Salafi jihadist insurgency in 2003, the year of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, and was captured by the Americans. They released him about a year later, thinking he was a civilian agitator rather than a military threat. It was not until July 4, 2014 that Baghdadi seized the world’s attention, climbing the pulpit of Mosul’s medieval al-Nuri mosque in black clerical garb during Friday prayers to announce the restoration of the caliphate. Thousands of volunteers flocked into Iraq and Syria from around the world to become “Jund al-Khilafa,” or soldiers of the caliphate.

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al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden and his successor Ayman al-Zawahri. It is not yet known if anybody will claim the bounty.

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At the height of its power two years ago, Islamic State ruled over millions of people in territory running from northern Syria through towns and villages along the Tigris and Euphrates river valleys to the outskirts of Baghdad. It claimed or inspired attacks in dozens of cities, including Paris, Nice, Orlando, Manchester, London and Berlin, and in nearby Turkey, Iran, Saudi Arabia

and Egypt.

In Iraq, it staged dozens of attacks targeting Shi’ite Muslim areas.

A truck bomb in July 2016 killed more than 324 people in a crowded area of Baghdad, the deadliest attack since the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

This is not the first time that it has been said that Baghdadi was killed. The Observatory, though, has a track record of credible reporting

on Syria’s civil war. The death of Baghdadi, who declared a caliphate governed by Islamic law from a mosque in Mosul in 2014, would be one of the biggest blows yet to the jihadist group, which is trying to defend shrinking territory in Syria and Iraq.

The United States put up a $25 million reward for his capture, the same amount as it had offered for

Tensions are rising between China and India; the spark is a small piece of land that both countries are claiming ownership of.

The disputed territory claimed by both China and the tiny Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan have caused scuffles between border police of both countries. Usually troops are unarmed at the border to avoid provocation, but recently there have been reports of “jostling,” when soldiers attempt to physically push rivals back.

The tension began in June after Indian Prime Minister Modi met with President Trump in the United States. China has not supported India’s close ties with the U.S. “The Chinese are making their unhappiness clear on India and America’s relationship,” explained Sameer Patil, director at an India-based foreign policy think tank called Gateway House.

Things broke out when Chinese construction trucks, accompanied by soldiers, entered into the southern disputed region of Doklam to build a road. India and Bhutan consider the region to be Bhutanese territory; China claims the land as its own. The countries disagree on the exact location of the “tri-junction,” where the three borders meet. India and Bhutan have traditionally been close allies; India often provides the small country with financial and military assistance. It was the first country Modi visited after being elected.

The narrow strip of land, known as the “chicken’s neck,” is extremely important since it connects central India to its remote northeast.

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

In response to what it believed was extraterritorial Chinese road-building, New Delhi sent reinforcements supporting Bhutan.

As of now, no meeting between Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi and his Chinese counterpart Xi Jinping has been announced. It will be interesting to see how the border issue will be resolved.

U.S.-Russia Cyber-Security Force

Despite preliminary reports that President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin would not discuss the election meddling accusation, it seems the two world leaders did touch on the subject during their meeting at the G20 summit. Supposedly at the start of the meeting, Trump bluntly said to Putin, “I’m going to get this out of the way: Did you do this?”

Putin’s response is unconfirmed.

While some say that Trump and Putin had a “robust and lengthy exchange” about it, others say that Putin vehemently denied the accusation and that the conversation ended.

One part of their conversation was related to the public. Russia confirmed that the two powerful heads of state discussed forming a joint alliance on cyber-security. This proposal, initiated by Putin, took up 45 minutes of the two hour meeting.

“The heads of state did talk about such a possibility,” Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov confirmed on Monday. “Nothing was promised to each other,” he added. “What is positive, they stated their readiness to work in this direction.”

Although this was only a tentative proposal, there has already been naysayers. Some senior Republicans immediately said Moscow could not be trusted under any circumstances especially when it comes to cyber-security.

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Nazi-Looted Art to be Returned?

THIRD ANNUAL

It’s been almost 80 years, and this piece of art is hopefully on its way home.

Decades ago Lilly Cassirer surrendered her family’s priceless Camille Pissarro painting to the Nazis in exchange for safe passage out of Germany during the Holocaust. For almost 20 years her heirs have been trying to get it back. This week, Lilly’s descendants were finally given a reprieve when the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled the family is entitled to its day in court, challenging Spain’s Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum to hand over the painting that has been a centerpiece of its $2 billion collection since 1993.

“It was a very, very good result,” the family’s attorney, David Boies, said of the court reversing a 2015 ruling dismissing the family’s lawsuit.

“It sent a strong message that even public authorities cannot take possession in bad faith of stolen property and then somehow gain title to it simply over the passage of time.”

The museum’s attorney, Thaddeus J. Stauber, said Spain remains confident it will eventually prevail, adding the museum did indeed acquire the work in good faith.

In Monday’s ruling, however, the appeals court concluded the museum previously failed to establish that it did not know the painting was stolen when it acquired it from Baron Hans-Heinrich Thyssen-Bornemisza, scion of Germany’s Thyssen steel empire and one of the 20th century’s most prominent art collectors.

The painting, “Rue St.-Honore, Apres-Midi, Effet de Pluie,” is a stunning Impressionist oil-on-canvas piece Pissarro created in 1897 while living in Paris.

Lilly’s father-in-law acquired it directly from the artist’s dealer and passed it on to her and her husband when he died.

Both sides generally agree on what happened next: Lilly was forced

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to sell the painting to a Nazi-appointed Berlin art dealer for the equivalent of $360 and exit visas for herself, her husband and her grandson in 1939.

She got the visas, but the Nazis kept the money. By the end of World War II, the work had vanished. The German government, believing it was lost, paid Cassirer $13,000 in reparations in 1958.

In 1999 a friend of her grandson, Claude Cassirer, who had fled Germany with Lilly, saw a photo of the painting in a catalog and contacted him. He quickly learned it was hanging in the museum in Madrid.

“He was completely stunned because we thought the painting was gone,” his son, David, said. He added that the family went through diplomatic channels to ask for the painting’s return but was rebuffed.

“What they basically said was, ‘Go ahead and sue us,’” he recalled.

After Claude Cassirer died in 2010, his son took over the litigation.

He said he’s hopeful Monday’s outcome will lead to the work’s return. It has been appraised at more than $30 million.

Thyssen-Bornemisza acquired the work for $275,000 in 1976 from a New York gallery owner. It had been

sold and resold by various U.S. collectors before that.

The baron eventually turned his collection of more than 700 paintings over to Spain, which created a nonprofit foundation to run the museum it named for him.

“As the Baron Thyssen-Bornemisza acquired the painting in good faith in 1976 and the foundation, in turn, acquired the painting in good faith in 1993 — where it has ever since been on display to the public — we remain confident that the foundation’s ownership of the painting will once again be confirmed,” Stauber said on Monday.

Cassirer disputes that, saying it should have been obvious to museum officials by the 1990s that they had acquired a Nazi-looted work. “They had very sophisticated curators and experts that certainly were seeing my family’s gallery label on the back of this painting,” he pointed out.

Prisoners Want to Eat Kosher Last year, a popular TV show that’s set in a women’s prison showed

one of the characters converting to Judaism in order to receive kosher meals which are considered “better quality food.”

Now, prisoners in a Scottish prison are reportedly asking for kosher food after watching the show.

During a recent inspection, inspectors ordered an investigation into HM Prison in Edinburgh after an audit revealed that the prison is serving kosher meals to more than 100 prisoners. Hardly any of them are Jewish, according to The Times of London. There were only nine prisoners across Scotland’s 15 jails in 2013-14 who were Jewish.

Reportedly, hundreds of prisoners around the world have applied to change their religion to Judaism since the episode aired. This specific prison seems to be the “worst hit” by such claims, the prison service report said.

“It was noted that a significant number of prisoners had decided to move to a kosher diet, which did not appear to be for wholly faith-based reasons,” the article said. “Given the significant additional expenses of providing this diet, the Scottish Prison Service should seek to understand the underlying reasons for this development to address this situation with some degree of urgency.”

An employee of the prison since 2010 told the Times, “The number of Jewish prisoners is negligible. I think we had two in 2014. We’ve seen a huge rise in the number claiming to be Jewish as they saw the meals were better. It’s about time someone saw through this farce and did something about it, but I can see what will come next — we’ll get accused of religious discrimination if we stop their meals.”

A typical prison meal costs about $2.50 but kosher food can be four times more expensive, according to Inspectorate of Prisons for Scotland, which could leave the prison with an additional bill of over $300K annually.

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Bahrain’s Answer to Opposition: Revoke Citizenship

Bahrain is a small Arab nation ruled by a monarchy in the Persian Gulf. The tiny island has been accused of denying residents their citizenship in an effort to control them.

Activists are reporting that authorities in Bahrain have revoked the citizenship of 103 people in 2017 so far.

The reason behind the punishment is officially accusations of terrorism.

All those who lost their citizenship were convicted of terrorism-related crimes in trials that rights activists say lacked due process and transparency. As the kingdom cracks down on opposition, the number of revocations has been increasing rapidly.

In the last five years, since 2012, the kingdom has stripped 451 people of their citizenship, according to a tally kept by the rights institute.

Many are activists who are outspoken about democratic reforms and human rights abuses.

Activists are blaming Western countries for not condemning the situation, particularly the United States and Britain.

“There’s absolutely zero pressure for them to reform or do anything that’s less than repressive,” said Sayed Ahmed Alwadaei, director of advocacy at the Bahrain Institute for Rights and Democracy. Alwadaei himself had his citizenship revoked. Supposedly in May President Trump reassured the king of Bahrain at a meeting that there would be no “strain” in their relationship. Bahrian, located in the Persian Gulf, hosts the U.S. Navy’s 5th Fleet. “This was an indicator that human rights is absolutely not part of the U.S. interests,” Alwadaei bemoaned.

An official at the Bahraini Embassy in Britain said authorities revoke citizenship “in the aim of preserving

security and stability while countering threats of terrorism.”

“Revoking citizenship is only done in accordance with the provisions of the law, in cases where the person involved was engaged in activities that has caused damage to the interest of the Kingdom and its national security,” the official wrote in an email.

When a person’s citizenship is revoked, their identity papers are confiscated. They lose access to state pensions and services, including health care. They lose the right to manage their property, and they cannot register the births of their children, meaning their offspring can’t access state services either. While many of the people stripped of their citizenship are expelled, creating a group of exiles, many others are sitting in prison after being convicted under Bahrain’s anti-terrorism law.

Rights activists say the justice system in Bahrain has lost all semblance of credibility. “The concern that we would have is the justice system in Bahrain has proven itself utterly incapable of providing anybody a fair trial, notably in terrorism cases. So the verdicts that they’re delivering simply cannot be relied upon either way,” said Nicholas McGeehan, a Middle East researcher for Human Rights Watch.

Modi & Bibi Hit it Off

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu accepted an invitation from Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi to visit Delhi after the two leaders signed multiple agreements to help global anti-terror and economic initiatives. The accords were signed during the first-ever visit of an Indian prime minister to the Holy Land. After a signing ceremo-

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

ny, Modi formally invited Bibi and his family to his country, to which Netanyahu replied, “I accept.”

Netanyahu will not be the first Israeli leader to visit India. Ariel Sharon visited in 2003, though he had to cut his trip short due to a series of deadly suicide attacks. President Rivlin went last year. “We are hoping that we will see a visit by the Israeli prime minister to India by the end of the year,” Amar Sinha, a diplomat in New Delhi, said.

Netanyahu said that the agreements signed were the first steps in a “historic journey.” He added that this was a “deeply touching moment” for him and that “we are making history together.” The agreements call on Israel and India to cooperate on water and agriculture, satellite technology, and the creation of a $40 million innovation fund.

“Israel and India live in complex geographies,” Modi noted. “We are aware of strategic threats to regional peace and stability. We have witnessed terror, so has Israel. Prime Minister Netanyahu and I agreed to do much more together to protect our strategic interests and also combat growing radicalization, including in cyberspace.”

India is the world’s largest importer of defense equipment. Israel has become one of the country’s main suppliers. The state-owned Israel Aerospace Industries said in April that India would be buying nearly $2 billion worth of weapons technology, which is the exporting giant’s largest defense contract to date.

which was forbidden in his release conditions.

The 62-year-old was jailed in 1986 after he disclosed the inner workings of Israel’s Dimona nuclear power facility to Britain’s Sunday Times newspaper. Between 1976 and 1985 Vanunu worked at the nuclear plant. He gave over dozens of photographs and other evidence which overwhelmingly proved that Israel has nuclear capabilities. Israel has never confirmed nor denied its nuclear program, but it is a wellknown secret that it is the only nuclear power in the Middle East.

Vanunu spent ten of his years behind bars in solitary confinement.

After he was released, he was instructed that he may not leave the country and may not converse with foreigners without previously being granted permission. His lawyer has said that the two U.S. nationals he met in a coffee shop were doctors visiting from the United States and that the chat lasted only “minutes.”

Israel has repeatedly refused to sign the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. The country has also never allowed any international surveillance in the southern Negev Desert.

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Mordechai Vanunu, who spent 18 years in an Israeli prison for spilling nuclear secrets, has been given an additional 120 hours of community service for breaking his parole. Vanunu was found to be in violation of his parole for talking to foreigners,

The Biblical Zoo in Jerusalem is adding a 7,000 square-meter aquarium containing over half a million gallons of seawater to its already impressive line-up. The 10-year project is set to open in a few weeks.

The aquarium was conceived when the zoo acquired more grounds and a national plan to increase awareness of marine life was introduced. With all the growing awareness to biodiversity, “we are ignoring the sea as a habitat,” Shai Doron, CEO of the zoo, pointed out.

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are also awareness displays on the dangers of plastic bags and other pollution problems. The laws of kashrus and seafood are also prominently displayed.

The stand-alone aquarium will be the first of its kind in the Middle East.

Six Suspects Arrested in Sub Scandal Six suspects were held by police who are investigating the corruption surrounding the purchase of six sub-

Allegedly, one of the six suspects is close to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Another of the suspects is businessman Miki Ganor, who is a close associate of Bibi’s. According to the German newspaper Handelsblatt Ganor is set to make between 10 and 30 million euros on the deal.

Avriel Bar-Yosef, who served as head of the deputy director of the National Security Council, is also a suspect.

Education Minister Naftali Bennett responded to the investigation with support for Netanyahu. “I have no doubt that the prime minister acted in accordance to the law. I give him my full backing and am convinced, based on what I know at the moment, that his conduct was exemplary,” he said.

Not everyone had kind words for the prime minister. Yesh Atid Leader and MK Yair Lapid asserted during a party meeting, “This isn’t just a corruption case; this harms the country’s security. Money from the defense budget, belonging to our soldiers and children left Israel, entered bank accounts in Germany and Cyprus that no one knew about, and returned to the pockets of some of the closest people to the prime minister.

“The investigation is underway and a lot is still unknown, but what we do know, and no one even bothers denying, it the shady submarine deal,” added Lapid, before scolding, “The government’s corruption is eating away at our national strength.”

Police issued a statement on Monday morning: “As part of a joint investigation between the Israel Police, the Tax Authority and the Israel Money Laundering and Terror Financing Prohibition Authority, six suspects were detained for questioning on suspicion of bribery, fraud, money laundering and other tax offenses related to all matters concerning the procurement of defense equipment.

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At the time of the events in question, some of the suspects involved were civil servants, while others were involved in the private sector. The investigation is being conducted by Lahav 433’s National Financial Investigations Unit under the supervision of the State Attorney.”

Two weeks ago, the Der Spiegel weekly reported that Germany’s national security council had authorized the sale of three submarines to Israel. As part of the deal ThyssenKrupp would supply Israel with three submarines and the German government will help finance the deal, valued at around 1.5 billion euro. The submarines are expected to replace older submarines that the Israeli navy expects to be retired within a decade. According to the report in Der Spiegel, the German government included a clause in the agreement allowing it to cancel the deal if the allegations in the case that has been dubbed “Case 3000”prove to be true.

Another AntiIsrael UN Resolution

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session’s chairman to make his case.

Order was not restored until the Polish chairman called in security.

This year’s Heritage committee includes five countries which Israel does not share diplomatic ties and many others that regularly support pro-Palestinian resolutions. Angola, Azerbaijan, Burkina Faso, Croatia, Cuba, Finland, Indonesia, Jamaica, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, South Korea, Tunisia, Turkey, Tanzania, Vietnam and Zimbabwe make up the 21 member states.

Israel’s UN Ambassador Danny Danon slammed the outcome. “This attempt to sever the ties between Israel and Hebron is shameful and offensive and eliminates UNESCO’s last remaining shred of credibility.

To disassociate Israel from the burial grounds of the patriarchs and matriarchs of our nation is an ugly display of discrimination and an act of aggression against the Jewish people.”

Nikki Haley, the United States Ambassador to the UN, has called on UNESCO’s focus and attention to not be “wasted on this sort of symbolic action.”

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For the second time in less than a week, the United Nations Educational, Scientific, Cultural Organization (UNESCO) passed a resolution that is – again – anti-Israel. The organization voted to leave the Ma’aras Hamachpela in the Old City of Chevron as a world heritage site for Palestinians. The secret ballot vote took place at the UNESCO World Heritage Committee’s 41st annual summit in Krakow, Poland.

Twelve countries voted in favor of inscribing Chevron’s Old City, three opposed, and six countries abstained.

Votes to inscribe sites are usually done openly but Poland, Croatia, and Jamaica all requested to hold a secret ballot. When several countries objected, a shouting match ensued, and Israeli Ambassador Carmel Shama-Hacohen stormed the desk of the

According to the United Nations, one decade after the Islamist group Hamas seized Gaza, the Palestinian enclave is effectively unlivable for its 2 million people, with declining incomes, healthcare, education, electricity and fresh water.

In a report examining humanitarian conditions in the territory, which Hamas took over in June 2007 after a brief conflict with forces loyal to the Palestinian Authority, the United Nations concluded the situation in Gaza is deteriorating “further and faster” than was forecast only a few years ago.

“Across the board we’re watching de-development in slow motion,”

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Robert Piper, the UN coordinator for humanitarian aid and development for the Gaza Strip and the West Bank, said on Tuesday. “Every indicator, from energy to water to healthcare to employment to poverty to food insecurity, every indicator is declining.

Gazans have been going through this slow motion de-development now for a decade.”

Immediately after Hamas took power, Israel moved to isolate the terrorist group by restricting the flow of goods and people in and out of Gaza, limiting access to the sea and working with Egypt to enforce a blockade to prevent security threats. At the same time, Hamas has been in near-constant dispute with the West Bank-based Palestinian Authority, prompting the PA to limit financial transfers to Gaza and, in recent weeks, asking Israel to cut back electricity supplies.

The result is that Gaza’s population, which is projected to grow by another 10 percent in the next three years, is being squeezed on all sides, even as resources become scarcer.

“I see this extraordinarily inhuman and unjust process of strangling gradually two million civilians in Gaza that really pose a threat to nobody,” said Piper.

Resolving the struggle between Hamas and the PA is essential in the long-run, but Piper says improving Gaza’s health, education, sanitation and growth is critical for Israel as well.

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It’s no secret that there are many Trump haters out there. Trump’s

blunt nature, policies, and (un)presidential demeanor have earned him many supporters and detractors alike. Love him or hate him, he is our president.

Recently, a Palestinian-American activist who is known for her opposition to Israel and Zionism has voiced her distaste for President Trump. She has compared opposition to the U.S. president to “jihad.”

Linda Sarsour, a supporter of the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement against Israel, spoke at the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) convention in Chicago this weekend.

She proclaimed that Muslims are “struggling against tyrants and rulers not only abroad in the Middle East or in the other side of the world, but here in these United States of America where you have fascists and white supremacists and Islamophobes reigning in the White House.”

She addressed the recent travel order, calling it a “Muslim ban” and said the Trump administration was “relentless” in wanting to see “how much the Muslim community can endure.”

“Our number one and top priority is to protect and defend our community; it is not to assimilate and please any other people and authority,” Sarsour, who wears a hijab, asserted.

“Our obligation is to our young people, is to our women, to make sure our women are protected in our community.

“Our top priority and even higher than all those other priorities is to please Allah and only Allah,” she added.

Sarsour was involved in arranging the Women’s March this winter in Washington the day after Trump’s inauguration. In recent years Sarsour has protested against surveillance of Muslim communities. She began her career as an activist shortly after the September 11th attacks when she felt that her community needed to be defended.

Sarsour, 37, was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, by Palestinian immigrant parents. She married at 17 in an arranged marriage. At the age of 21 she began to volunteer for the Arab American Association of New York. One of her highest accomplishments was having Muslim holidays recognized in New York City’s public schools. Last month it was revealed that Linda’s brother, Mohammed “Moe,” is the manager at the kosher Brooklyn restaurant, Izzy’s Smokehouse.

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

NBA Hits New Record

James Harden is having an excellent week. The Houston Rockets basketball player was offered a fouryear contract extension that will run through the 2022-23 season. His new package is estimated to be valued at $170 million. Last July Harden signed a four-year $118 million extension with the Rockets. He became eligible for the designated player veteran extension by virtue of making the All-NBA team.

According to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski and Brian Windhorst, Harden will now earn $228 million total through the end of his contract

F R O M

– the highest deal in NBA history.

“Since he arrived in Houston, James has exhibited the incredible work ethic, desire to win, and passion to be the best that has made him one of the most unique and talented superstars in the history of the game,” Rockets owner Leslie Alexander said in the team’s statement.”

“Additionally, the commitment he has shown to our organization, the City of Houston, and Rockets fans all over the world makes him a perfect leader in our pursuit of another championship.”

“Houston is home for me,” Harden said, according to the team’s official Twitter account. “Mr. Alexander has shown he is fully committed to winning.”

Russian Spies Abound According to a report by CNN, Russian spies have been ramping up their efforts in gathering information in the U.S. The CNN report noted current and former U.S. intelligence officials who say they have noticed an increase in Russian spies since

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the election. The officials say they believe Russia feels emboldened by the lack of a significant retaliatory response from both the Trump and Obama administrations.

“Russians have maintained an aggressive collection posture in the U.S., and their success in election meddling has not deterred them,” said a former senior intelligence official.

Russians could also be seeking more information on Trump’s administration, which is new and still unpredictable to Moscow, according to Steve Hall, retired CIA chief of operations. “Whenever there is a deterioration of relations between countries, the espionage and intelligence collection part becomes that much more important as they try to determine the plans and intentions of the adversarial government,” Hall said.

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Since the November election, U.S. intelligence and law enforcement agencies have detected an increase in suspected Russian intelligence officers entering the U.S. under the guise of other business, according to multiple current and former senior U.S. intelligence officials. The Russians are believed to now have nearly 150 suspected intelligence operatives in the U.S., these sources said. Officials who spoke to CNN say the Russians are replenishing their ranks after the U.S. in December expelled 35 Russian diplomats suspected of spying in retaliation for election-meddling.

“The concerning point with Russia is the volume of people that are coming to the U.S. They have a lot more intelligence officers in the U.S.” compared to what they have in other countries, one of the former intelligence officials says.

In some cases, Russian spies have tried to gain employment at places with sensitive information as part of their intelligence-gathering efforts, the sources say. U.S. intelligence is also uneasy about ongoing Russian efforts to infiltrate U.S. infrastructure.

The FBI uses surveillance to track the suspected Russian intelligence

JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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Millions of customers of Wells Fargo & Co. will receive compensation after being pulled into a scheme that used their name to open unauthorized accounts. The bank received preliminary approval for its proposed $142 million class action settlement by a federal judge in San Francisco this week. The judge decided that the proposed settlement was “fair, reasonable and adequate.”

A hearing to decide final approval of the deal has been set for January 4.

“The settlement is an important component of holding Wells Fargo accountable for its abuse of its customers’ trust,” Derek Loeser, partner at Keller Rohrback and lead attorney for the plaintiffs, said in a statement on Sunday.

In a separate statement Wells Fargo Chief Executive Tim Sloan said that the preliminary approval represents “a major milestone in our efforts to make things right for our customers.”

Those affected will receive notifications shortly on how to proceed to collect their compensation. The payment, though, will only be processed after the final court approval.

In September, the bank agreed to pay regulators $185 million after it was accused of creating some 2.1 million unauthorized checking and savings accounts, credits cards, and lines of credit without customer approval. The news of the scam deeply affected the company and caused the resignation of CEO John Stumpf.

The class action settlement will cover customers that had unauthorized accounts opened beginning May 1, 2002. Customers will be compensated for the fees they were charged based on the number of unauthorized accounts.

Originally regulators estimated that the bank created as many as 2.1 million unauthorized accounts and proposed a $110 million deal.

However, they increased their offer to $142 million after an internal investigation discovered that the issue dated as far back as 2002, prompting the plaintiffs’ attorneys to increase their estimates of unauthorized accounts to as many as 3.5 million.

Some customers’ credit suffered; it remains a question as to how they will be compensated for that. The two sides will have to determine a payout based on a formula that accounts for any loans they took out while their credit score was impaired.

The San Francisco-based bank has over 9,000 branches across all 50 states and over 12,000 ATMs throughout the country. Wells Fargo has over 70 million customers and serves one in three U.S. households.

16 Killed in Military Crash

On Monday, 16 people were killed when a U.S. military plane used for refueling crashed into a soybean field in rural Mississippi.

The KC-130 spiraled into the ground about 85 miles (135 kilometers) north of Jackson in the Mississippi Delta and exploded in a ball of fire, spewing debris for miles.

Marine Corps spokeswoman Capt. Sarah Burns said in a statement that a KC-130 “experienced a mishap” Monday evening but provided no details. The KC-130 is used as a refueling tanker.

Though the KC-130 refueling tanker took off from Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point in North Carolina, Marine Capt. John Roberts said the plane was under the command of the 4th Marine Air Wing,

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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thorized by Congress just before the start of World War II. It supports the 2nd Marine Aviation Wing, providing, among other services, KC-130 aircraft used for in-flight refueling.

The station covers 45 square miles (115 square kilometers) and has nearly 14,000 Marines, sailors and civilian employees.

Is Amelia Earhart Finally Found?

which is part of the Marine Forces Reserve headquartered in New Orleans.

In a Tuesday morning tweet, President Donald Trump offered condolences. “Marine Plane crash in Mississippi is heartbreaking. Melania and I send our deepest condolences to all!” Trump wrote.

Andy Jones said he was working

on his family’s catfish farm just before 4 p.m. when he heard a boom and looked up to see the plane corkscrewing downward with one engine smoking. “You looked up and you saw the plane twirling around,” he said.

“It was spinning down.”

Firefighters tried to put out the fire at the main crash site but withdrew after an explosion forced them

back. The fire produced towering plumes of black smoke visible for miles across the flat region and continued to burn after dusk, more than four hours after the crash.

Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point is about 115 miles (185 kilometers) southeast of Raleigh and about 20 miles (30 kilometers) from the Atlantic Ocean. The station was au-

It’s been about eight decades since Amelia Earhart historically went down in flight. Since then, researchers have been searching for clues which tell more about her final and fatal journey. Recently, four bone-sniffing dogs were brought to the remote Pacific island of Nikumaroro to search for traces of her body, led by the International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery (TIGHAR) and the National Geographic Society. The group is now reporting that the K9s may have identified an exact spot where Earhart went down.

The four border collies named Marcy, Piper, Kayle, and Berkeley arrived on the island on June 30 as part of an expedition sponsored by TIGHAR. Previously, researchers had visited the island after clues led them to believe that Earhart and her navigator, Fred Noonan, who disappeared on July 2, 1937, spent their last days there. This hypothesis conflicts with theories that Earhart’s plane crashed and sank into the ocean.

The premise is at the heart of the two-hour “Amelia Earhart: The Lost Evidence” documentary, which argues that Earhart, along with her navigator Fred Noonan, crash-landed in the Japanese-held Marshall Islands, where they were picked up by the Japanese military and held prisoner.

All four dogs separately alerted the investigators to a certain tree, indicating that they had detected human remains, leading researchers

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

to believe that there are or were at some point in time human remains beneath that tree. However, it is yet be determined if those remains belong to Earhart or Noonan or someone else. The dogs have a unique ability to detect the lingering scent of human bones long after the bones themselves have decomposed.

The next step in the process was for archaeologists to dig. On July 2, the excavation began, marking the 80th anniversary of Earhart’s disappearance. The expedition was scheduled to depart the island on July 6. By July 5, the team did not locate any clues. Tom King, TIGHAR’s senior archaeologist, began considering backup plans, perhaps sending soil samples from the site to a lab capable of extracting DNA. However, Fred Hiebert, National Geographic’s archaeologist-in-residence, said that the likelihood of securing DNA from a tropical environment like Nikumaroro are very slim. “If we were pushing the ticket by sending forensic dogs to this island,” said Hiebert, “we’ll really be pushing it with this DNA.” That did not deter archaeologist Dawn Johnson and physician Kim Zimmerman. On the very final day of the excavation they filled five Ziploc bags with soil from around the tree. They are currently being tested in a DNA lab in Germany. Time will tell if Amelia Earhart’s story will finally fully be told.

Officer Sues Black Lives Matter Leaders

DeRay McKesson and four other Black Lives Matter leaders as defendants and sought at least $75,000 in damages.

The lawsuit claims that the victim was shot by “a person violently protesting against police, and which violence was caused or contributed to by the leaders of and by ‘BLACK LIVES MATTER.’” Gavin Long, the black gunman who carried out the attack, was shot dead at the scene. He identified himself as a member of an African-American offshoot of the anti-government, mostly white Sovereign Citizen Movement, documents showed.

Black Lives Matter has adamantly denied that it promotes violence.

In fact, they have stood up for their followers, claiming their innocence.

Last year, McKesson and two other activists sued the Baton Rouge police department and other officials over the arrests of nearly 200 demonstrators during protests over police killings.

Black Lives Matter was formed in 2013 after a Florida jury found George Zimmerman not guilty of murder in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, an unarmed black teen. The activist movement, originating in the African-Amercommunity, ican campaigns against violence and systemic racism toward black people. They often hold protests against police killings of black people and broader issues of alleged racial profiling, police brutality, and racial inequality in the United States criminal justice system.

Columbia U Traces Origin of Seforim

Last year a group of police officers were ambushed in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Tragically, three of the four men died and the remaining unnamed officer was wounded.

Now, the leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement are being sued by the surviving victim for inspiring the attacker and inciting violence. The lawsuit filed in a U.S. district court in Louisiana named

Soon thousands of ancient seforim and other Judaic texts from centuries ago may become available at your fingertips. A new program is being piloted at New York’s Columbia University whose mission is to trace books back in time and place

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with the input of the public.

The crowd-sourced project, entitled “Footprints: Jewish Books Through Time and Place,” aims to create a database of handwritten inscriptions, censors’ stamps, book plates, annotations, and other marks in old books. Experts involved in the program analyze every detail of the books to trace it from one owner to the next.

Michelle Chesner, librarian for Jewish studies at Columbia and co-director of the project, noted, “Until now, there was no way to trace the movement of books. You won’t know from looking at a library catalogue that a book was owned by a particular person or that it had annotations by a particular rabbi without going to see the collection.”

This project is a new concept in the Jewish genre and is even unique across all genres. The only other similar program is the “Material Evidence in Incunabula” project at Oxford University, which is cataloguing the “footprints” in books — but only in the 15th century. This “footprints” project, though, includes books that were printed from the appearance

of the printing press in the mid-15th century to the mid-19th century, when industrialization resulted in a drastic increase in the number of books produced. To date, close to 2,100 books’ footprints have been collected and can be viewed online.

The collection covers a wide span of Judaic literature, including Ashkenazi books printed in Europe and Sephardic books from the Middle East and North Africa.

Last week, it was reported that the Jewish Museum and Tolerance Center in Moscow is in the process of creating a database of the “footprints” in the Schneerson Collection online. They are collaborating with researchers at Columbia University on the project.

“Footprints” allows libraries throughout the world to add information about the footprints in their books. The website is linked to Google Maps, which helps people to make maps of how particular books traveled over time.

“We really wanted it to be something that is crowd-sourced. Scholars are sitting in libraries. We’re trying to say if you’re one of those scholars,

give us the information. It’s a way of sharing data which otherwise would be completely lost,” said Chesner.

States Sue Dept. of Ed

That is more than all credit card or auto loan debt held by American consumers.

Other state attorney generals joining the lawsuit are from California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Iowa, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, and the District of Columbia.

Safe and Sound The Education Department and Education Secretary Betsy DeVos are being sued by 18 states and the District of Columbia for rescinding an Obama-era rule that protects students from predatory colleges. The rule that was set to go into effect on July 1st allowed student loan borrowers to apply for loan forgiveness if they were defrauded by for-profit schools. It was also set to prohibit schools that loan federal funds to students for tuition from forcing students to use arbitration to settle any legal disputes – which would waive their right to class action suits.

According to the states’ complaints, the Department of Education “effectively canceled a duly promulgated regulation without soliciting, receiving, or responding to any comment from any stakeholder or member of the public, and without engaging in a public deliberative process.” The complaint outlines how the Education Department violated federal laws by rescinding the rules, which were finalized by the Obama administration in November.

Maura Healey, the Attorney General of Massachusetts, led the lawsuit. “Since day one, Secretary DeVos has sided with for-profit school executives against students and families drowning in unaffordable student loans,” said Healey.

The main focus of the regulations were schools that charged thousands of dollars in tuition and fees while falsely advertising job prospects for students when they graduate. About 44 million people in the U.S. carry $1.34 trillion in student loan debt.

On Monday, a man installing a steel safe to house sifrei Torah in Machzikai Hadas in Boro Park had to think quickly when the 2,500 pound safe began to fall on him. The worker, a chassidishe man, wedged himself into the opening of the safe to avoid being crushed.

The yeshiva had its sifrei Torah stolen before and so they sought to place them in a more secure place.

The man found himself trapped inside the 8-foot by 3-foot safe in good company – there was a Torah with a red velvet mantle beside him.

He was stuck inside for over 45 minutes until a group of firefighters was able to rescue him.

“Everyone was surprised at how it turned out, that this large safe fell on top of this person — and he literally came out of it safe and sound,” one police source said, according to the report.

He emerged from his holy hideout smiling and talking to others in Yiddish. He was taken to the hospital just to ensure that all was well.

Gives a whole new meaning to a “safer” Torah.

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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Wind Out of His Sails

An umbrella sharing company was left swimming in debt when all of its 300,000 umbrella inventory was stolen shortly after the venture launched.

The idea behind Sharing E Umbrella may have been a little too altruistic. CEO Zhao Shuping said he was inspired by other “sharing” companies in which consumers use products for a fee and then put them back where others may rent them next. In this case, the GPS-enabled umbrellas were unlocked using a code sent to users’ phones that allowed them to use the umbrellas found near bus stations and subways in China for around $7.

But there was no penalty for returning the umbrellas, and, almost immediately, inventory ran down to zero.

Zhao says part of his business plan was to make money through advertising on the umbrellas.

Despite his company being a little under the weather at the beginning, Zhao says he plans on launching the program in other cities around China.

We hope, at least for his sake, there will be sunny skies ahead.

Piggyback Steering Ever give your children a piggyback ride to bed, only to have them want to go another way? This new invention, called The Piggyback Driver, may be the answer to your kids’ dreams. The helmet allows children riding piggyback to “steer” their parent in the direction they want to go.

The helmet features a vibration system that tells the wearer which way the child is attempting to steer, as well as a “turbo” button that trig-

gers lights and sounds. The helmet also features turn signals and a horn.

The inventors have created a demo video featuring their prototype, but they said they are still seeking investors to help put the toy into production and bring it to market.

I don’t know if they’ll be getting the funding they need but I wonder: is it possible that parents should be the ones steering the kids in the right direction?

College: Go Easy on Protestors

If you’re looking at your transcript from college and you went to Evergreen State College in Washington, you may see a lot of good grades – and it’s not because you’re so smart.

A few months ago, an email was sent out to faculty at the college suggesting that they should go easy on grading student protesters. Officials asked professors to take the “emotional commitment” of students who had been involved in recent protests into account when determining their final grades. Evergreen’s interim provost, Ken Tabbutt, made the request in an e-mail last semester, a copy of which was later obtained by Campus Reform. In the e-mail, Tabbutt explains that the protests were “difficult for many” in the campus

community, and that, in particular, “students of color are clearly telling [them] that they do not feel that Evergreen is a safe place.”

“The purpose of this email is to remind faculty that student protesters have diverted time and energy from their academic work to promote institutional change and social justice,” Tabutt wrote, adding that the “work of students that have not been involved in the protests may also have been affected” because “many feel that the campus is not safe.”

Although Tabbutt made it clear that final grading discretion would be up to the individual professors themselves, he suggested that they “consider the physical and emotional commitment the students have made, and consider accommodations for that effort, including learning that is going on outside of your program.”

This is not the first time that Evergreen State went easy on student protesters. In May, Evergreen president George Bridges agreed to give angry protesters a pass on their homework assignments after they yelled and told him that they wouldn’t be doing the assignments.

At some point we wonder: when will these people finally be forced to grow up?

World’s Most Expensive Chocolate

Love chocolate?

Don’t mind shelling out lots of dough for the sweet confection? Meet Fritz Knipschildt, sometimes known as the Willy Wonka of Connecticut. He is the creator of the La Madeline au Truffe, which sells for $2,600 per pound.

One of the La Madeline au Truffe’s primary ingredients is a rare French Perigord truffle that accounts

for its high price. The expensive truffle is then surrounded by a ganache of heavy cream, sugar, truffle oil and vanilla coated in 70% Valrhona dark chocolate and rolled in fine cocoa powder. Each portion of the record-breaking chocolate is crafted with the utmost care, including the ganache which is made with fresh cream and fresh butter.

“That’s how we do it, how we will always do it,” Knipschildt said.

Each La Madeline au Truffe is prepared special to order and it takes about 14 days to create. The overthe-top confection has a shelf life of about seven days, so you better eat it fast. Each piece of the chocolate is presented on a bed of faux pearls in a silver box tied with a bow. The price?

A mere $250.

A Double Winner Lightning struck twice for Rosa Dominguez. The 19-year-old Californian made a whopping $655,555 last week – just by playing the lottery.

The California Lottery said Dominguez was driving home from Arizona when she stopped at an Eagle Energy gas station in Paso Robles and purchased some Scratchers, including a $5 Power 5’s ticket that turned out to be a winner for the top prize: $555,555.

“I was so nervous I just wanted to cry,” Dominguez told lottery officials.

Days later, Dominguez was at a Valero gas station in Greenfield when she decided to try her luck again with a $5 Lucky Fortune ticket, which also turned out to be a top prize winner with a $100,000 jackpot.

Dominguez said she plans to use some of her winnings to go shopping and buy a new car.

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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Community

Camp MaTov enjoyed special trips last week, like fishing on the Miss Freeport boat and the Queens Zoo

Having a great time at Orah Day Camp

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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Countless hours of fun at Simcha Day Camp

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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Jersey Day at Camp Avnet

PHOTO CREDIT: IRA THOMAS CREATIONS

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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Disney Comes to Ruach Day Camp

T

hey say that Disney is the most magical place on earth, and this week, the magic of Disney was at Ruach Day Camp.

The children came dressed as their favorite character, participated in their activities in full costume, and were challenged by special age-appropriate trivia contests where they demonstrated their knowledge of Disney. As soon as our Disney favorites departed, Pokémon began invading the Ruach campgrounds.

Fortunately, our campers were able to capture them as well as a multitude of Poke-balls.

In our Sports Leagues program, campers in groups 3s thru 7s participate in friendly and controlled competitive team play. Each team is led by a counselor and games are refereed by sports specialists. Scores, standings, weekly MVPs and good sportsmanship players are prominently displayed for all campers to see. The focus in our leagues isn’t just skills and scoring points; we place a huge emphasis on teamwork, honesty and good sportsmanship.

The conclusion to a fabulous week was a beautiful oneg Shabbat program. Shabbat shalom to all!

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

All Night Fun at Camp Al Haderech

T

his past week Camp Al Haderech had a fantastic overnight! The boys were treated to a Yankees Game where Aaron Judge crushed one to centerfield and it ended as a really close game! After, the boys met with Rabbi Penner, the Dean of YU, and received words of inspiration as the future leaders of Klal Yisrael. The highlight of the overnight came as the boys ran into an arcade at 9 PM and were told they had five hours to play on anything

Summer fun at Camp Machane Hakayitz

and everything. All the games were FREE! At 2 AM, all the games were shut down and the boys chose a super fun, unique place to sleep – the ski ball machine, the air hockey table, you name it! The overnight came to an exciting end the following day after a full day at Billy Beez.

Can Camp Al Haderech top this crazy overnight? You bet! Next week the boys will spend 3 nights and 4 days at Niagara Falls! We can’t wait!

“We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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Loads of fun at Hillel Day Camp

Avnet’s Softball and Net Leagues are a Hit

By Yeshaya Samet, Divison Head of Avnet’s DRS Campus

A

s the new season at Avnet kicked off we’ve enjoyed many new innovations.

However the staple of our program, the part of camp that draws people back year in and year out, are Avnet’s Softball and Net Leagues. Run by our very own Learning and Sports Director, Rabbi Joey Werner, Avnet’s leagues are the nuts and bolts of our DRS campus.

“League play definitely bring a healthy competitiveness with it, and when channeled correctly, motivates children to progress and succeed.

The fact that our boys are competing in a unified environment where every single one of them has a place and is made to feel special is what makes everyone at Avnet so proud,” Rabbi Werner says. He continues, “What always amazes me is the camaraderie and achdut that shines through every game, regardless of who won.”

“Net Leagues are especially popular at Avnet, comprised of hockey, basketball, soccer, and football,” first-time Avnet camper Yosef Newmark remarked. “I love the chance to play all different sports.”

Mikey Kwitkin added, “I’ve been a part of the softball leagues for five years now, and the staff and coaches have always made sure me and my teammates do everything to reach our potential.” Camper Noah Kupferman agrees, “Softball leagues are a lot of fun. And I feel great robbing homeruns!”

In the past our softball leagues have combined both divisions of the DRS campus. The Gvaot (younger division) would be teamed with the Harim (older division). But in response to the spike in campers this summer, two softball leagues were formed, one for each division. Rabbi Reuven Levine, Learning Rebbe and Assistant Sports Director at Avnet, commented, “Softball has always been competitive, but I’ve actual-

ly since a dramatic increase in the competitive level since we split the leagues. But above all, despite the strong desire to win, it’s a beautiful thing to see how the boys have each other’s backs.”

Clearly, the excitement of the leagues is raised even further when

the boys get to sport their stylish jerseys. Special thanks are due to Apple Bank for Savings, Armitron, Picture This (Ira Thomas Creations), Seasons Express, Sharmel Caterers, Sushi Tokyo, Traditions, and Warren Levi Karate for sponsoring this year’s team jerseys.

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

A Tee-rific Day Golfing with OHEL

A

beautiful summer morning at Fresh Meadow Country Club in Lake Success, New York, beheld the 13th Annual OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services Rosemil Healthcare Golf Classic sponsored by Rosemil Healthcare.

Over 150 golfers, family members and friends gathered to enjoy a festive day of great golf, culinary fare, and an inspiring program.

The culinary festivities began with a delicious breakfast spread while the golfers practiced on the putting green and driving range in preparation for the tournament and contests. The golfers wound through the course, stopping play only to visit the delicious BBQ lunch or serving stations spread throughout the golf course. The run of play was competitive and went down to the wire.

The winning foursome was Zalmie Rosenberg, Jason Rose, Michael Rosenthal, and our own Golf Classic Chairperson Jeffery Schwartz, narrowly edging out the second place foursome Jeremy Markovitch, Jeremy Mehl, Mat-

thew Fruchter, and Sammy Fruchter, and the third place foursome David Cohen, Andrew Dube, Paul Farrell, and Gabriel Berger.

The longest drive contest was won by David Mann.

Andy Antonio won closest to the pin, while Bob McElroy won closest to the line.

However, thanks to our player’s generosity, the real winners are the most vulnerable in our community – the thousands of individuals and families served by OHEL every day!

The day hit an exciting, new high when Sammy Fruchter nailed a hole-inone on Hole 11. Sammy’s ace was a first at the OHEL Golf Classic and a perfect way cap to a great tournament.

As the last foursome finished their round, the skies opened up with a heavy downpour. Luckily, it was time for the cocktail hour.

After sushi and appetizers, everyone prepared for the night’s program and lavish dinner.

The theme of the evening was “Looking Beyond- Seeing the Beauty of Us All,” which was expressed in the fantastic OHEL Bais Ezra Calendars shared on each

L-R: Izzy Kaufman, Jason Kanefsky and Ben Englander

table. The calendars include stunning photos of OHEL individuals taken by world famous photographer Rick Guidotti; each month of the calendar features a picture of an OHEL individual with autism and a self-description of the richness of their lives and personality.

Our special guest speaker, 12-year-old Dovid Orrin, shared with the audience his experiences at Camp Kaylie, as well as OHEL Bais Ezra

Sam Fruchter (far right), pictured here with his foursome partners, got hole in 1

activities he participates in such as SibShops, a dynamic program that provides activities to the siblings of those with special needs.

Dovid’s sister is featured in the OHEL calendar this year which has been distributed to the community and joins him at SibShops and other Bais Ezra programs.

Special awards were presented to Jason Kanefsky of Havas Media and Stephen Appel of ION Media for their longtime friendship to the children and families of OHEL. ION Media in particular has been a big supporter of our raffle giveaway for many years.

Meanwhile, longtime OHEL golfer, Jason Kanefsky, who is the Raffle Chair, was honored for his dedication to our golf event, in addition to his commitment to raise funds at the annual Hanukkah breakfast at the Young Israel of Woodmere to benefit foster children and children and adults with disabilities.

Special thanks to OHEL’s Golf Classic chairpersons Ben Englander, Israel Kaufman, Jonathan Marks,

Jeffrey Schwartz, and Michelle Sulzberger without whom this event would not be possible.

“This is really an important yearly event. I’m proud to be a part of this outing and glad that so many people from different communities join OHEL for a spectacular golf outing on a great course in support of a great cause that is very dear to me and my family,” said Ben Englander.

Since 1969, OHEL has served as a dependable haven of individual and family support, helping people of all ages surmount disability, everyday challenges, heal from trauma, and manage with strength and dignity during times of crises.

OHEL serves thousands in need every day in communities in New York, New Jersey, California and worldwide.

Individuals interested in the many programs that OHEL offers should contact OHEL Access at (800)-603OHEL (6435).

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Walking the March of Hope with the Girls of Camp Simcha

C

ancer is a devastating illness, but when it strikes a child the blow is immeasurably harder.

How do you explain to a child that the treatment will be as painful as the disease? Why should a young person have to contemplate the specter of illness or worse? It’s enough to destroy a person’s spirit – unless you are a child or teen at Camp Simcha.

Four hundred campers, counselors, senior and medical staff (including a fully staffed ambulance that accompanied the group to New York City for the day) celebrated the joy they find in Camp Simcha every day with a boisterous and meaningful March of Hope across the Brooklyn Bridge early Thursday evening.

The March of Hope was the peak of the summer session for campers and staff. Together they sang and danced their way from Brooklyn to Manhattan.

Girls who could walk joined

I wasn’t going to come to Camp Simcha. I was going to go on the helicopter and then go home. But every day has been tops, one better than the next. I feel blessed to be here. I can’t believe how lucky I am. I feel like the person I was two years ago be-

ored balloons into the air.

This was the second March of Hope undertaken

by Camp Simcha. The first was seven years ago. And like the original event, there was a feeling that the jubilation had been growing since the beginning of the summer.

Rabbi Simcha Scholar, Executive VP

counselors and pushed their friends in wheelchairs. Bald heads peaked out from underneath hats that had kept off the sun during the day.

Pedestrians stopped their commute across the bridge to watch, cheer and take photos. With smiles as wide as the river they spanned, they sang and danced their way to the second of the two supporting towers, eager to release their balloons into

the sky.

“When I look up and see the sky, I can see that not matter how high the buildings or the trees, the sky is still higher. When you let go of your balloons, there won’t be any obstacles between them and the sky. I hope that’s the way your life will be, free of any more obstacles,” Rivky Schwartz, the girls’ head counselor, said.

“Every single one of you is fighting her own battles. The reason we are here doing this together is to show that we are stronger together.”

The girls were just about to let go when a camper asked Rivky for the microphone. With tears in her eyes and a tremor in her voice, she addressed her friends.

“I wasn’t going to be here.

Rivky Schwartz, girls’ head counselor

fore I got sick. I feel healthy.

“I don’t think that I’ve been cursed (by cancer). I am getting better every day, and I know that I will be better.

Death is afraid of us. We’re here. We’re strong. We’re surviving. And we are going to come back and share our story.”

With that, the girls counted down from ten and released a hundred multi-col-

Just a few days ago, the girls streamed across camp to a giant billboard where “I believe” was written 100 times. Each girl filled picked up chalk and approached.

“I believe…I am a hero…I can fly… in love…in hope… in power. I believe that the love in Camp in Camp Simcha conquers all. I believe in strength. I believe I can…I believe in me.”

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

Around the Community

Chai Lifeline executive vice president Rabbi Simcha Scholar said he was overwhelmed by the strength and purity in the girls’ responses, but not surprised. “The power of Camp Simcha is that it takes children out of the cancer mindset and helps them see the possibilities of their lives. Hospitals are places

where their bodies can be healed. Camp Simcha is a place where their spirits can heal.”

Camp Simcha, named in memory of Samuel Abraham, is a project of Chai Lifeline. For more information about the organization, visit www.chailifeline.org.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Amazing Day at the Second Annual Gesher Century Challenge

M

onths of preparation were invested – training, fundraising, and planning. The big day, July 9, finally arrived.

As the calendar date had inched closer Gesher Century Challenge II had grown steadily into a tremendously successful event. As of several hours before the ride Team Gesher was already bringing 75 riders. And as the night turned into a beautiful sunny day, several more riders joined, helping Gesher surpass the 80 rider mark.

Team Gesher is made up of all types of riders, taking advantage of the many appealing ride options that are offered by the Gold Coast Tour. The largest group, over 50 riders in all, opt for the scenic and challenging 100mile century ride.

To accommodate the time demand, Team Gesher personnel prepared the Gesher tent for a 5:50 Shachris followed by a delicious breakfast donated by corporate sponsor Gotta Getta Bagel. With close to 25 riders in attendance the day was off to a perfect start keeping the need to make a kiddush Hashem in everyone’s mind.

By 7AM most of the team was on the road. The breakfast buffet was available until 9AM to give the rest of the team a chance to prepare properly.

Besides for breakfast, Gesher provided energy gels, bars, electrolytes, and even energy Jelly Bellys.

As the morning progressed all of the riders enjoyed the seamless registration process along with the VIP Gesher accommodations. Many team members chose the 70, 55, or 25 mile routes. Special mention to the younger riders who did a great job on these challenging trails: Ephraim and Ben Rokach and Yaakov Miller.

The last group to go out was for the 12 mile ride. The Huntington Bicycle Club makes this ride very appealing

for the non-experienced riders by going out as a group led by their volunteer cyclists.

This year Gesher had nine riders join the ride, led by Sani Weinreb, who was riding with his eight-yearold daughter Chaya Sara! They were joined by Mordechai and Shabsi Barnett, Moshe Gladstone, Mordechai Moshe Dov and Shaya Bodner, Chaim Frishman, and Nachi Lieberstein.

While the riders were out on the trails, Gesher maintained a wellplanned event. At every rest stop a box of kosher food donated by Platinum level corporate sponsor Seasons was marked and ready to supply the riders with much needed provisions.

But the big mid-ride attraction was the family lunch area at the main rest stop in the beautiful Roslyn Pond Park. Dozens of families took advantage of the spacious grounds, the playground, the face painting, and the delicious and plentiful hot buffet also donated by Seasons.

Family members had the chance to meet the riders as they passed through and to cheer them on as they moved back onto the trails to finish the ride.

Gesher riders made quite an impression throughout the day, attired in their stunning and professional jerseys. Special thank you to GCC team member Shaya Lieber for the design.

Meanwhile, at the Gesher tent, the Seasons-sponsored end-of-the-ride buffet was being readied for the riders as Team Gesher members began crossing the finish line. Exhausted, yet invigorated, some arriving in groups and some on their own, team members shared their appreciation for having had such a wonderful experience.

It was not only about the amazing weather, the pre-ride accommodations, the beautiful and challenging trails, and the well-stocked rest stops

and lunch area, but also the chance to ride with friends to support a worthy cause.

The Gesher Century Challenge helps to raise funds for the programs offered by the Gesher Early Childhood Center. Gesher supports yeshiva day school early childhood students who struggle to succeed in the typical classroom setting. The main thrust of the program is to successfully transition its students into local yeshiva day schools and to put the children on a path of success for life.

The riders of the GCC took the challenge, training and preparing to ride to help others for whom learning can be challenging. Special mention needs to be made of Team Frishman family, proprietors of GCC Platinum Plus corporate sponsor Fruit Platters and more.

Mrs. Frishman completed her first Century ride at this year’s GCC. She also, together with her husband, raised $10,000 for Gesher with over 100 backers for their campaign. But she is not done. They rode in the recent Bike NCSY and she is joining the upcoming Tour D’Simcha of Chai Lifeline. Their selfless dedication has helped them to raise almost $20,000 in combined funds this year alone.

Mr. and Mrs. Alan and Sharoni Botwinick were the second highest fundraisers, bringing in over $5,000.

Former Gesher parents, Alan took the challenge to join his avid rider wife in order to support Gesher, the school for which they are so appreciative.

Gesher would like to thank all of its corporate sponsors, especially the Platinum and Silver level sponsors: Fruit Platters and More, Sunharbor Manor, Seasons, Heritage Realty, Gourmet Glatt, and Fidelity payment Services. Team Russo’s Pharmacy represented Platinum level sponsor Russo’s Pharmacy.

Sani Weinreb shared the following comments, they are a real indication of the success of the event for all of the participants.

“This past Sunday I had the wonderful experience of participating in the Gesher Century Challenge with my daughter. I would like to express my appreciation to the dedicated team of organizers for their work. It was truly a one-of-a-kind experience. From the pre-ride tips about biking, to the ride itself through the rolling hills, to the well-stocked rest stops and mouthwatering lunch at the finale, you had it all covered. I had the opportunity to bond with my daughter and engage in goal-oriented confidence-boosting activities all while raising money and awareness for a local worthy institution. Thank you for all of your hard work and dedication to our community.”

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Shaaray Tefila to Host Rabbi Rakeffet

C

ong. Shaaray Tefila is pleased to have Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet-Rothkoff once again as our Scholar in Residence this coming Shabbos, Parshas Pinchas, July 14-16.

Rabbi Rakeffet has been described as a true intellectual who continues to devote his talents to the Jewish people and the State of Israel. He has done this through a myriad of career titles including pulpit rabbi, educator, military man, author, documentary producer and well-known lecturer.

Rabbi Rakeffet’s career began in 1962 as rav of Bala Cynwyd, PA, then later in the Maplewood and South Orange, NJ communities.

Rabbi Rakeffet served as educator at Yeshiva University High School for Boys, then later after making Aliyah at Jerusalem Torah College (BMT), Machon Gold and Michlalah. He

was also a founding faculty member at Midreshet Moriah and has been a member of the Gruss Kollel faculty since its inception in 1976.

A prolific writer, Rabbi Rakeffet was a staff editor for the Encyclopedia Judaica. Rabbi Rakeffet produced a documentary, The Lonely Man of Faith: The Life and Legacy of Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik in November 2006. Taking stock of his broad interests Rabbi Rakeffet published an autobiography, From Washington Avenue to Washington Street in 2011. In June 2016, Rakafot Aharon Vol 3, a compilation of contemporary halachic topics presented

by Rabbi Rakeffet between 19982002 in his advanced shiurim given at YU’s Gruss Kollel, was published.

Rabbi Rakeffet served in the Israel Defense Forces until the maximum allowable age. He served

in Lebanon during the 1982 Lebanon War. In 1980, he was recruited to join the Mossad‘s clandestine Nativ operation to teach Torah in the Soviet Union. Rabbi Rakeffet visited the Soviet Union in 1981, 1985, and 1989 together with his wife Malkah, and recruited 200 others to also visit. His initial visit motivated him to help found the Shvut Ami organization.

Rabbi Rakeffet has had a fascinating life and has met a plethora of people throughout his varied careers. He brings a wealth of knowledge wherever he speaks. All who hear him gain tremendously from his diverse life experiences.

Rabbi Rakeffet will be discussing “Jerusalem: 50th Anniversary of the Unification: What It Means to the Jewish People” at the Shabbos drasha following Mussaf, “Rav Avra-

ham Kook: Vision & Controversy” after Mincha at 7:30 PM on Shabbos day. In partnership with Shvut Ami, Rabbi Rakeffet will also speak Sunday morning at 9:45AM on the topic of “Torah on the Contemporary Israeli Scene.” Men, women and young people are invited to all three events which will take place at Cong.

Shaaray Tefila, 25 Central Avenue, Lawrence, this Shabbos, Parshas Pinchas, July 14-16.

St. John’s Episcopal Hospital Plans to Renovate and Expand Emergency Department

O

n Friday, July 7, St. John’s Episcopal Hospital hosted a press conference to announce renovation and expansion scope of work regarding their recently approved NYSDOH Capital Restructuring Financing Program (CRFP) Grant for 10.15M. The hospital’s executive staff, as well as local community members and elected officials, have been working with the New York State Department of Health for over a year, awaiting final approval of the contract to begin construction. The renovation and expansion of the emergency department will double to 22,000 square feet and allow for more space to provide care to patients in the emergency room.

St. John’s CEO, Mr. Gerard M. Walsh, announced that the construction will last for approximately 24 months, which includes 12-months for the ED renovation/expansion and 12-months for the primary care co-location facility which will be housed at the current BOCES building. The new Emergency Department will provide adult and pediatric care, as well as psychiatric emergency care. By the end of construction, the department will

include 19 private treatment rooms, 21 results waiting positions, six rapid evaluation beds, and 14 private areas in a separate psychiatric emergency department.

Chris Parker, DNP, RN, NEA-BC, CHCQM , Executive Vice President/ Chief Operation Officer, stated, “The primary strategic goals of the renovation and expansion are to strengthen access to primary care on the peninsula by the addition of two medical home sites on the hospital campus, one of which is co-located with outpatient behavioral health services, allow patients who come to the ED that do not need emergency services to be treated in an appropriate primary care setting, reduce potentially avoidable hospital use because of a lack of access to primary care services and poorly managed chronic diseases, help St. John’s develop a stronger integrated delivery system that provides strengthened outpatient behavioral and mental health services to the community, and improve the crisis stabilization process and physical plan in the ED to better care for the behavioral health needs of the community.” These goals are conducive to the DSRIP goals set forth by the state department of

health.

CEO, Gerard M. Walsh said, “We are excited about this milestone and look forward to its completion, thank you to our friends in government for creating a resource for safety net hospitals, thank you Governor Andrew Cuomo, the State Department of Health and former Assemblyman Phil Goldfeder for your support.”

Congressman Gregory Meeks said, “This is a great day, an important day for the hospital, and a really important day for all of the residents of the Rockaway Peninsula...When

we’re all on the same page to make something happen, it happens.”

Other politicians spoke including Senator James Sanders Jr., Senator Joseph Addabbo Jr., Assemblywoman Stacey Pheffer Amato, Assemblywoman Michele Titus, and Council Member Donovan Richards Jr. At the conclusion of the press conference, attendees were offered a tour of the construction area by the hospital’s Assistant Vice President of Facilities and Support Services Thomas Farzetta.

You should not mix wiretapping and tap dancing because those you are spying on will hear you coming from a mile away.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Second Annual Walk the Boardwalk for Sderot

P

lease join us on Tuesday evening, July 25, for an evening walk on the beautiful Long Beach Boardwalk with family and friends from nearby communities.

It is a perfect time to disconnect and to reconnect, while supporting the American Friends of Sderot.

The city of Sderot, located in southern Israel and less than 1 mile from the Gaza border, has become one of the most significant national symbols of heroism. Sderot is home to the largest Hesder Yeshiva in Israel which serves over 500 students. Sderot has become the symbol of responding to terror with the light of Torah, Zionist ideals and Jewish solidarity for Jews all over the world.

When you pre-register online for the Walk, you are guaranteed a Walk the Boardwalk with Sderot T shirt

and you will be entered into a raffle for a one of a kind and unique Iron Dome Mezuzah Cover that will protect your home and family.

Suggested donations: Students: $18 pre-register/$25 at the Boardwalk Adults: $25 pre-register/$36 at the Boardwalk After the walk, we will return to the Young Israel of Long Beach, 120 Long Beach Road, for a short informative program about Sderot and enjoy sushi and desserts, which will be followed by Maariv.

To reserve a spot, please register online at www.sderot.org/boardwalk. For more information please contact Judah at Judah@sderot.org or 516-707-2638. Looking forward to seeing you on the Boardwalk!

Real Clear Daf to Host Breakfast Siyum in Cedarhurst

K

lall Yisroel approaches the monumental accomplishment of completing masechtas Baba Basra, the largest masechta in Shas. To celebrate this occasion, as well as to impart inspiration in general for Torah learning, Real Clear Daf (a free online Shas library of audio shiurim that can be accessed at realcleardaf.com) and Rami Abelson, of Cedarhurst, will be hosting a gala breakfast siyum for the commu-

nity for men and women.

R’ Paysach Krohn, shit’’a, will be delivering the keynote address at what is sure to be a most joyous and inspiring event.

The siyum will be held on July 23 at the Agudah of Cedarhurst, after 8:30 Shacharis. For more information, or to RSVP, please email bababasrasiyum@gmail.com or call 855-ASK-RCD-1 (275-7231).

Despite millennia of dispersion, Jews everywhere follow the same basic prayer service. In our common Jewish practice, we find unity.

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The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

Around the Community

Annual Gurwin Photo Contest

T

he winners of the annual Gurwin Jewish Nursing & Rehabilitation Center photo contest were recently revealed and are now on display at the 460-bed facility. These photographs have been a staple at the facility for 24 years and are credited with creating a welcoming and “homelike” environment for the residents and visitors.

With only 100 entries and 10 winners in its first year, Gurwin’s photo contest has grown to be one of Long Island’s top photo competitions. This year, the contest received more than 700 entries in 12 categories, some of which include Nature, Pets, Children, Action/Sports and Long Island/New York. Awards include Best-in-Show, grand prizes and honorable; this year 45 photos were selected to be hung on the walls of the facility.

The Gurwin Photo Contest was originally created to showcase local talent as well as decorate the empty corridors of the Nursing & Rehabilitation Center. However, according to Herbert H. Friedman, Executive Vice President/CEO, these photos have a much larger purpose. “The winning photos do more than just decorate our residents’ home. They bring joy in the form of sparked memories, perhaps of a beloved pet, a favorite grandchild or a long-ago family vacation,” he said. “Our photo gallery is a source of enjoyment for everyone who passes through our building, and we are grateful to the amateur photography community for sharing their talent with us.”

Dawn Lettau, CTRS, Director of Therapeutic Recreation, also believes the photographs are more than just decorations. “We use the submitted prints as reminiscence aids with our

Best-in-Show Runner Up, “Riding with Dad” by Jo-Anne Bodkin of Dix Hills, NY

residents and for visual inspiration in our art therapy programs,” she said.

Professional photographers from the Long Island area select the prize winners, while a resident panel is responsible for choosing the “Resident Selections,” a designation that means just as much to some as a grand prize selection would. Deidre Elzer-Lento, a long-time entrant and often winner, feels that any recognition is a tremendous honor. “I love that my photos are hanging throughout Gurwin, contributing to the pleasure of the people who pass through,” she said.

The Tiffen Company, a Long Island- based manufacturer of high end TV and camera lenses, has sponsored this contest for the past 11 years. Nat Tiffen, the founder of the Tiffen Company, was also a resident at Gurwin.

Winning contest photos, sorted by township, are available for publication with this press release via Dropbox at http://bit.ly/2tAyCyI

2017 Best-in-Show Winner, “Corinth Sheep” by James Napoli of South Strafford, VT

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Around the Community

Senior Torah Giants Encourage the Study of the Laws of Shabbos Rare Meetings at the Homes of HaGaonim HaRav Chaim Kanievsky and HaRav Dov Landau, Shlita

By Chaim Gold

L

ast week in Eretz Yisrael two rare meetings took place where senior Gedolei Yisrael issued a unified call to all Jews to undertake the study of the laws of Shabbos. The first meeting was a meeting of the Nesius of the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha program, Dirshu’s daily worldwide halacha program of learning one page of Mishnah Berurah daily. Last week, in honor of the program’s commencement on the laws of Shabbos in the third volume of the Mishnah Berurah, the Nesius, the rabbinical body that guides the organization, met at the home of HaGaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita, to encourage the learning of hilchos Shabbos.

“In this generation of ikvesah d’Meshicha – the footsteps of Moshiach – there is great impurity permeating the world. The power of the evil inclination in this world is greater than ever. That is why we must flee ‘this world’ and enter ‘the world of Hashem.’ What is the ‘world of Hashem’?

The ‘world of Hashem’ is the four cubits of halacha,” said HaGaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita.

Rav Chaim’s close talmid, HaRav Eliyahu Mann, shlita, delivered those words on behalf of Rav Chaim, and in his presence at last week’s august gathering of the Nesius of Dirshu’s Daf HaYomi B’Halacha.

The gathering was both to celebrate the completion of Chelek Beis of Mishnah Berurah in the Daf HaYomi

B’Halacha program and to urge Jews the world over to join the program for the vitally important Chelek Gimel, the section of the Mishnah Berurah on hilchos Shabbos, which begins on 17 Tammuz/July 11.

Profound Unity through Halacha The climactic meeting of the Nesius was a deeply inspiring manifestation of unity, showing perhaps more than anything else the degree of importance that the Gedolei Yisrael attach to urging every individual to bring daily halacha into their lives, especially the learning of hilchos Shabbos.

In attendance were HaGaon HaRav Gershon Edelstein, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of the Ponovezh Yeshiva; HaGaon HaRav Boruch Dov Povarsky, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of the Ponovezh Yeshiva; the Vizhnitzer Rebbe of Bnei Brak, Rav Yisroel Hager, shlita; the Boyaner Rebbe, shlita; the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe, shlita; HaGaon HaRav Dovid Cohen, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of the Chevron Yeshiva; the Modzhitzer Rebbe, shlita; and the Alexander Rebbe, shlita.

This was the third meeting of the Nesius of Daf HaYomi B’Halacha. The first one was held at the home of the Vizhnitzer Rebbe, shlita, in advance of beginning the second machzor of Daf HaYomi B’Halacha; the second was held at the home of HaGaon HaRav Aharon Leib Shteinman, shlita, upon the completion of Chelek Aleph just over a year ago and now the Nesius gathered once again. The primary purpose of this meeting was to issue a public and unified clarion call to Jews the world over highlighting the importance of learning hilchos Shabbos and indicating the tremendous opportunity that now exists to join the learning of hilchos Shabbos.

HaGaon HaRav Gershon Edelstein, Shlita: “Without Knowledge of Hilchos Shabbos One Can’t be Saved from Transgressing” The remarks of the senior Rosh Yeshiva, HaGaon HaRav Gershon Edelstein, at the meeting, addressed specifically that point. Rav Edelstein said, “Hilchos Shabbos is unique. The Mishnah Berurah wrote only two introductions. One is his introduction to the first volume and the second introduction that he wrote is a special introduction to hilchos Shabbos. The fact that the Mishnah Berurah saw fit to make a special introduction to the laws of Shabbos shows just how important it is to know hilchos Shabbos.

In that introduction the Mishnah Berurah brings in the name of Rav Yonason Eibischitz that it is not possible for a person who doesn’t learn and know hilchos Shabbos to avoid transgressing even Torah mandated prohibitions. A person who doesn’t have knowledge of hilchos Shabbos truly can’t be saved from transgressing. Therefore it is an obligation to know hilchos Shabbos.”

The Vizhnitzer Rebbe, Shlita: The Power of Shabbos to Effect Divine Mercy The Vizhnitzer Rebbe, shlita, spoke with tremendous enthusiasm about the importance of every person learning and becoming familiar with the halachos of Shabbos.

The Rebbe quoted the profound words of the Taz at the beginning of his commentary on hilchos Shabbos.

“The Taz brings the well-known Gemara that ‘whoever keeps Shabbos in accordance with halacha even if he worships avodah zarah like the generation of Enosh will be forgiven.

From here we learn,’ the Taz says, ‘that Shabbos has an even greater

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

Around the Community

power than Yom Kippur to arouse forgiveness. With regard to Yom Kippur there are transgressions that are not even forgiven on Yom Kippur, but require a person to undergo additional pain and suffering and even death to achieve forgiveness. However, keeping Shabbos according to halacha can engender complete kaparah without suffering and without death.’” The Rebbe then passionately exclaimed, “Who doesn’t want that?! G-d fearing Jews are always seeking ways to achieve selicha and kaparah. All they have to do is learn hilchos Shabbos and merit to keep Shabbos according to halacha!”

“The Sweet Yoke Placed Upon Us” The evening was opened by Dirshu’s Nasi, Rav Dovid Hofstedter.

With great feeling Rav Hofstedter said, “Ashreinu! How fortunate we are that we have leaders who are moser nefesh for Klal Yisrael and guide us.

They have expressed the fact that it is every Jew’s obligation to learn and know halacha, they have placed the sweet yoke upon us to try to spread the learning and observance of halacha to Klal Yisrael.”

Presence of Senior Gedolei Yisrael Speaks Louder Than Words The words of Rav Hofstedter gave insight into the tremendous importance that the senior leaders of our generation attach to learning halacha and especially hilchos Shabbos. Dirshu’s Rav Avigdor Berenstein related, “We all know how every second is so precious to the Gedolei Yisrael.

Rav Chaim Kanievsky values time so much that he is extremely frugal with his words in order to save a few seconds. Nevertheless, Rav Chaim, Rav Gershon Edelstein, and the Vizh-

nitzer Rebbe, as well as all of the other Gedolim, all cleared their schedules, taking the time to attend the asifa of the Nesius because they see a tremendous need in our time to strengthen the learning and observance of halacha l’maaseh…despite the oppressive heatwave in Eretz Yisrael that made travel for the elderly Gedolim difficult.”

The Sephardic Torah giant, HaGaon HaRav Shimon Baadani shlita, Rosh Yeshivas Torah V’Chaim, a member of the Nesius who was unable to attend due to the heat and his weakness, sent a letter calling on “every person to strengthen themselves in Daf HaYomi B’Halacha especially now as we are about to commence hilchos Shabbos.”

Leading Poskim Meet at the Home of HaGaon HaRav Dov Landau, Shlita Another highlight among the events leading to the commencement of learning hilchos Shabbos in the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha was an important gathering of many of Eretz Yisrael’s leading poskim held at the home of the senior Rosh Yeshiva of the Slabodka Yeshiva of Bnei Brak, HaGaon HaRav Dov Landau, shlita.

Rav Landau addressed the gathering, “The entire edifice of shemiras hamitzvos is dependent on learning hilchos Shabbos and knowing those halachos. A person cannot accomplish anything without the knowledge of hilchos Shabbos. Those who understand the importance of hilchos Shabbos and encourage the learning of hilchos Shabbos should be blessed.”

To join Daf HaYomi B’Halacha or access a shiur near you in North America, please call 888-5-Dirshu or e-mail mm@dirshunj.org.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

At the yahrtzeit seudah for the previous Sulitzer Rebbe, z”tl

Summer YLX Starts with a Bang

YLX graduate Ariel Dan, back from two years of learning in Eretz Yisroel, learning with two YLXers

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YLX mentor Yaakov Sugarman with his YLX group

S

ummer YLX, the community summer program for teenagers in Far Rockaway and the Five Towns, got off to a spectacular start on Wednesday, July 5. The first night was kicked off with food sponsored by Scott Fagin from Traditions; the food was delicious and aplenty!

Rav Mordechai Stern, Mora D’asra of Bais Medrash Heichal Dovid, addressed the boys and lauded them for making the effort to transform their summer nights into a spiritually uplifting learning experience.

New YLX staff member Avromi Elberger prepared stimulating maare mekomos regarding the halachos and ideas of bal tashchis. A capacity crowd of over 30 boys divided into 10 groups caused quite a ruckus at Bais Medrash Heichal Dovid. After dav-

ening Mincha upstairs, the mispallelim ventured downstairs just to get a glimpse of the beautiful and raucous kol Torah emanating from the basement.

This year, for the first time, YLX hosted three former YLXers – Rafi Weiss, Ariel Dan, and Leiby Cohen – who had volunteered to participate by giving back and learning with new YLX attendees. An incredible sight and a harbinger of another beautiful and impactful YLX summer!

YLX is a community initiative geared to provide a meaningful and enjoyable summer experience for local boys home for the summer.

For more information email YIDlearningexperience@gmail.com or call R’ Aryeh Dachs 410-258-5134.

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A partial view of the bustling crowd on the first night of YLX

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

THIS WEEK WE ARE TALKING TO:

Camp Machane Yisrael

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Exciting Camp Feature! Back for a 4th Year!

How are the youngest Five Townsers spending their summer? Over the summer season we will be speaking with local day camps to learn how our children and teens are spending their eleven weeks of summer vacation. Between swimming, sports, learning, trips, projects, cheers and lots of ices, we know their days are jam-packed with fun.

Camp Machane Yisrael, located on the Yeshiva of South Shore campus, was started over two decades ago. The fun never stops for the lucky campers from all over the community who spend their summer days at CMY. This week, we were able to spend some time with camp director Rabbi Ben Jacobi, who took a few minutes out of his busy day to tell us a little bit about Camp Machane Yisrael.

Summer 2017 is just underway and hundreds of campers are spending their summer at Camp Machane Yisrael. Can you tell us how Camp Machane Yisrael got started?

Well, it actually began about 21 years ago in a rather interesting way. One June day, I was speaking to my mother and she was encouraging me rather forcefully to open a camp. Just to deflect her temporarily, I answered, “If the opportunity ever falls into my lap, I’ll open a camp!”

Later that same day, a parent called and asked me to start a camp for her son. Normally, I

would probably have said no.

But I remembered the earlier conversation with my mother and felt that, considering the “promise” I had made, I couldn’t push the opportunity off.

So, did you really open a camp immediately?

Yes. We opened that June with just a few campers. Our goal was to provide an environment where a child can have an enjoyable summer combined with great ruchniyus.

That’s amazing! And look

at how you’ve grown!

Where do Machane Yisrael campers come from?

They come from all over the Five Towns and Far Rockaway.

How do you manage to make the youngest campers feel comfortable in such a large camp?

We work particularly hard to assure that our youngest campers feel part of camp and become a real part of the camping experience.

Our morning learning program for them is geared to helping them retain what they learned in the past year.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Rabbi Jacobs doesn’t merely play games with them but he works on helping them develop their sports skills and teaching them the techniques and rules of various sports. In addition, we created a brand new Middos program which is called Ushpizin. The boys get excited about doing good deeds and are recognized for acts of chesed.

What about sports and “fun”?

We’re covered awesomely in those areas, too. Rabbi Jacobs sees to it that our boys have opportunities for wonderful competitive sports after a morning of sitting in learning.

He also helps the boys hone their athletic abilities on an individual basis.

In addition, AJ and Rabbi

Reisman run our amazing and exciting Dynamite program which has become known near and far.

Tell us more about your Dynamite program? Boys are clamoring to be part of this amazing program.

Dynamite was developed years ago to give young campers a taste of sleepaway camping. Although it would be impossible to tell you all the things on our schedule (besides, it’s “top-secret”!) I can tell you that, just in the past week, we have gone on a private cruise, rented out a fantastic trampoline park, and gone on a full-day trip of water-tubing! Obviously, our campers look forward to these trips and can’t wait for

the next upcoming one.

With all these wonderful programs, I am sure it takes an amazing staff to get it all done. Can you tell us about the head staff at camp?

We have an amazing staff! I almost don’t know where to begin but let’s start with our office manager. Rabbi Shuter is the one who handles our day-to-day operations with efficiency and helps make everything run smoothly. Rabbi Drebin, our learning director, is involved in each class’s limud Torah and is responsible for decisions about the “curriculum” for each group.

Anyone new on staff this year?

Yes, in fact we have two brand new additions to our already fantastic

By the Numbers Over 300,000: minutes of fun since Machaneh Yisrael began years ago

4: the average number

of hours that the upper staff members sleep each night, making sure that every camp day is packed with Awesomeness

576: the number of

smiles Rabbi Haber sees before 10AM on a camp day. Trust me, he actually holds a counter and clicks for every smile

0: the number of fidget

spinners that Zezy has seen in camp (there is no time to fidget spin with so much going on)

2: the number of week-

end days that we have to wait through in order to get back to Amazing Mondays. (Although, of course, Shabbos is Amazing as well!)

300: the number of

days we will have to count after this season until it’s time to get back to Camp Machaneh Yisrael for another fantastic summer!

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

team.

Rabbi Yitzy Haber has just come on board as my partner. He brings with him many, many years of camp experience as well as experience with children of all ages. He has run camp programs, shul youth departments, and is the co-founder of the SHNITZEL guys! He brings a whole new level of fun and excitement to camp.

Rabbi Haber also brought Zezy Fuld to Machane Yisrael, whose exuberance and enthusiasm is absolutely contagious. From the moment the campers get off the bus and see him jumping until the end of the day when they get on the bus and he’s

still jumping, Zezy hardly sits still a moment in his efforts

rubbed all over his face! B”H that was a different child from

Are you joking? Who has time to dream up slogans when you’re busy having so much fun?

to bring his own style of spirit and ruach to the camp and campers Describe a “regular” day at Machane Yisrael.

Well, actually, there are no “regular” days at camp. Every day brings some new crazy games that Rabbi Haber and Zezy have come up with.

Just yesterday, I saw campers counting watermelon pits and a camper with Vaseline

the one who had Alka-Seltzer juice running down his nose the previous day!

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Do you have a camp slogan?

Are you joking? Who has time to dream up slogans when you’re busy having so much fun?

It seems like you and the campers are really busy soaking up the summer fun. Enjoy the rest of the day – oh, and watch out for that water balloon!

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Op-Ed

Division at the Kotel is No Path to Unity

By Rabbi Pesach Lerner and Rabbi Yaakov Menken

T

he statements from American Jewish movements, the Jewish Agency, and numerous op-ed writers could hardly have been more repetitive. Following the decision of Israeli PM Netanyahu and his cabinet to suspend the “deal” that would have created a large plaza for mixed prayer at the Western Wall, most rushed to offer opinions no more varied than the news reports, as if there were only one reasonable position that writers (and readers) could take.

Their consistent thesis was that Netanyahu’s decision caved to “political pressure” from the charedi political parties (universally described as “ultra-Orthodox”) and that suspension of the deal was divisive, a rejection of American Jewry. Pejoratives are not merely mean-spirited and divisive in their own right; in this case, they were used to upend the reality.

Neither Uri Ariel nor Betzalel

Smotrich, MKs of the Jewish Home party, could remotely be described as “ultra-Orthodox.” Yet both wrote a letter to Netanyahu urging that the deal be scrapped; after it was, Ariel said in a prepared statement that “we succeeded in preventing an unnecessary split among the Jewish people and an attack on the social and religious fabric of Israeli society and the Jewish people.”

So which position unites us, and which divides? Each claims to side with unity, but only one can be correct.

The claim that the Western Wall is “controlled” by “ultra-Orthodox rabbis” inflames passions and masks the truth: there is no natural demand for an alternative, mixed space at the Western Wall – from American Jews, much less Israelis.

Contrary to the common narrative, it is creating such a space that would divide our nation.

The existing plaza exists purely

due to popular request. Following the reunification of Jerusalem in 1967, traditional Jews immediately flocked to the holy site and requested suitable facilities for prayer. Today thousands (and often tens of thousands) stream to the site daily, at all times in all seasons, pouring out their hearts at the place they regard as the holiest place Jews may go today.

Gender-separate prayer services are no “ultra-Orthodox” invention; they are part of our universal Jewish heritage. Descendants of refugees from Yemen, Iraq, Syria, Egypt and Algeria pray at the Western Wall, alongside those whose grandparents were born in Israel and those who immigrated to escape Soviet oppression and anti-Semitism in France – joined by immigrants and students from America and around the globe. Despite millennia of dispersion, Jews everywhere follow the same basic prayer service. In our

common Jewish practice, we find unity.

There is no similar interest in a site for mixed prayer. The first reason for this is theological: at its inception, the Reform movement rejected the special holiness of the Temple in Jerusalem, excised prayers for its restoration from their liturgy, and for this reason began to call its synagogues “temples.”

Within recent years, Reform leaders declared that the Temple Mount is irrelevant save for “its historic significance” and explicitly disavowed any interest in restoration of Jewish worship at the site.

And despite an investment of tens of millions of dollars, the American liberal movements have failed to attract even minimal Israeli interest. No more than one percent of Israel’s six million Jews are members of Reform or Conservative congregations. “Liberal” Tel Aviv has but one Reform temple and over

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

500 traditional synagogues.

In contrast to the Orthodox who pray three times each day, Reform Jews attend synagogue no more than several times per year.

Thus, there are multiple independent reasons why the demand from the American liberal movements for a place at the Western Wall “equal” to that provided to traditional Jews offends logic and reason.

These movements frequently refer to times of anti-Semitic oppression to “prove” precedent for undivided prayer. In 1928, for example, British authorities removed the divider placed at the Western Wall – while attendees were in the middle of Yom Kippur prayers. At no time in history did Jews willingly remove the divider or pray without one, and it is truly offensive that liberal leaders would exploit readers’ ignorance to imply otherwise.

Many American Jews are also unaware that there already exists a facility at the Western Wall for

mixed prayer and that the claim of American liberal leaders that they cannot pray as they wish at the site is entirely false. Several years ago, then-Religious Affairs Minister Naftali Bennett responded to persistent agitation from Women of the

site, although they could pray there undisturbed as they claim to desire.

The truth is, no one uses this site except on an occasional basis. Neither American liberal movement has even once filled the site to capacity, yet they demand a new, larger facili-

Despite millennia of dispersion, Jews everywhere follow the same basic prayer service. In our common Jewish practice, we find unity.

Wall (WOW) and American liberal leaders by building an alternative facility he called “Ezrat Yisrael.”

WOW responded with a twenty-four hour sit-in and steadfastly refused to move its monthly services to this

ty as if there were a real need.

Liberal leaders mis-portray the interests of their American congregants. Jewish tourists do not come to the Western Wall looking for the same prayers they rarely attend at

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home. On the contrary, like visitors to the holy sites of religions all around the world, they come to see – and perhaps join – natives at their native prayers.

Today only 25% of American Jews are members of a Reform or Conservative congregation. Over 60% of American Jews are totally unaffiliated, and have little or no interest in Judaism, Israel, Jerusalem or the Western Wall. The liberal movements are losing their grandchildren to assimilation; they would do far greater good were they to apply their passion towards ensuring future Jewish generations, rather than upsetting traditions of prayer at Israel’s Western Wall.

Rabbi Pesach Lerner is Executive Vice President Emeritus of the National Council of Young Israel. Rabbi Yaakov Menken is Director of the Coalition for Jewish Values, a public policy institute reflecting classical Jewish thought.

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

1.

TJH

Centerfold

You gotta be kidding

Riddle me this?

A rabbi, a cantor, and a synagogue president were driving to a seminar when they were kidnapped. The hijackers asked the three of them to hand over all of their money and jewelry. When they replied that they hadn’t any, the hijackers told them that immediately after their last wishes were fulfilled, it would be their end.

“My last wish,” began the rabbi, “is to give a fascinating, complicated, long sermon that I have always wanted to but never been allowed to give.”

“We will grant your wish,” the hijackers replied.

“My last wish,” said the cantor, “is to sing a beautiful, Yemenite-style song, one of my own compositions lasting two hours. I have never

You are a counselor in a camp and the head counselor comes into the bunk and hands you a basket with 11 apples. She tells you to divide them among the 11 campers and to keep one in the basket. How do you divide them in the quickest amount of time?

See answer on next page

been allowed to sing it.”

“We’ll let you sing it,” replied the hijackers.

“What is your last wish,” the hijackers asked the shul president.

“Please, please shoot me now.”

Why We Need to Make America Great Again John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock for 6AM. (MADE IN JAPAN ) While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG).

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY)

filled it with gas (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying American job.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (made in MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL), poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he couldn’t find a good paying job in AMERICA!

The TheJewish JewishHome Home| |OCTOBER OCTOBER29, 29,2015 2015 The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

Are You a Real Long Islander? Trivia 1. Which of the following places are parts of Long Island? a) Nassau County b) Brooklyn c) Suffolk County d) Queens 2. What was the Battle of Long Island? a) A famous battle of the bands that took place in the 1960s which involved the Beatles and a number of other famous bands b) It was a battle fought during the Civil War c) It was an iced coffee rush in which thousands of people from Brooklyn came to Long Island to experience its iced coffee. They used their car horns as weapons d) It was a battle led by George Washington during the Revolutionary War

3. Charles Lindbergh took off on his historic flight from a Long Island field, now the site of a mall. What is it called? a) Bay Harbour Mall b) Roosevelt Field Mall c) Green Acres Mall d) The Outlets at Bellport 4. Which of the following counties has one of the highest property tax rates in the United States? a. Suffolk County (New York) b. Birmingham County (Alabama) c. Nassau County (New York) d. Shelby County (Tennessee) See answers below

1) A, B, C, D- Believe it or not, Queens and Brooklyn are technically part of Long Island. (Think about it, do you have to go over any bridges to get from Lawrence to Far Rockaway?) In popular usage, however, the term “Long Island” generally refers only to Nassau and Suffolk counties in order to differentiate them from New York City.

2) D- The Battle of Long Island, fought on August 27, 1776, was the first major battle in the American Revolutionary War following the Declaration of Independence. The truth is that although we Long Islanders have a lot of pride, the battle was really held in Brooklyn (the part of Long Island that we don’t consider Long Island).

3)B- Lindbergh emerged from virtual obs -curity to almost instantaneous world fame as the result of his prize-winning solo non-stop flight in 1927 from Roosevelt Field l to Le Bourget Field in France, a distance of nearly 3,600 statute miles, in his plane called the Spirit of St. Louis. (There have since been more expensive ventures in Roosevelt Field.)

4) C- That’s right! Nassau County has the second to highest property tax rate in the United States. Believe it or not, our neighbors in Suffolk County have one of the lowest tax rates in New York State. (Maybe we can get some advice!)

Wisdom key: If you got 4 right: You are such an Islander you have probably never even been to New York City If you got 2-3 right: You are a good Islander If you got only 1 right: You know it’s really pronounced Laaawng Island, right?

If you got none right: Do you even live here?

Answer to riddle: 10 kids get an apple (one apple for each one of them) and the 11th kid gets an apple with the basket still containing the apple.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Torah Thought

Parshas Pinchas

By Rabbi Berel Wein

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here is zealotry that stems from hatred and jealousy.

Though the motives are evil, this type of person is always able to cloak himself in a mantle of piety and public service. Unfortunately, this type of zealotry abounds in our religious world. Innocent people are pilloried, their words are distorted, and they are slandered falsely and shamelessly – all in the name of high-

er religious causes.

There are many instances and examples of this type of behavior that make the news and are circulated instantaneously throughout the world.

Apparently the zealots are unaware of the damage that they cause to Torah, the Jewish people as a whole, and sadly enough to themselves.

Zealotry that emanates from personal and political motives always

proves itself to be harmful, counterproductive, divisive and, in the long run, usually unsuccessful. On the other hand there is a type of zealotry that is born of pure motives, of love for the Jewish people and its survival, and is not personal in nature. It is not encrusted with jealousy or is it politically motivated. This zealotry reflects the pain and suffering of the Jewish people and attempts to right a wrong and correct a grievous error

ple knew no limits.

Pinchas was a true heir to this holy family tradition. His zealotry arose from love and not from hate, from nobility of character and not from base personal character traits.

It is difficult, if not even impossible, for outside observers to determine the motives that drive the actions, speech and behavior of the zealots of our time. These are hidden things that only Heaven can fathom.

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that can endanger Jewish survival itself.

This latter type of zealotry is exemplified by the actions of Pinchas in the narrative of the Torah reading of this week. This example of pure, justified zealotry is a rare instance of Jewish history. The rabbis of the Talmud could find no other instance where violent zealotry was justified and condoned. Pinchas was a one-off situation.

To emphasize this idea that Pinchas was no ordinary zealot motivated by base instincts and erroneous ideas and conclusions, the Torah recorded for us his genealogy. He is the son of Elazar, the grandson of Aharon, the High Priest of Israel, people who loved peace and pursued it and whose love for the Jewish peo-

We would do well to recognize that until now there has been only one Pinchas in the story of the Jewish people. Though we are usually bidden to give to others the benefit of the doubt, I do not feel that it is realistic in the case of zealots and zealotry. It is pure arrogance for anyone in our generations to somehow claim the mantle of Pinchas for themselves.

Caution, wisdom, foresight and patience should be the character traits taught to our children and students.

These are the traits that will guarantee spiritual growth and Jewish survival. Only the zealot feels comfortable in his zealotry. But in reality he is the victim of his own wrongful behavior.

Shabbat shalom.

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From the Fire

Parshas Pinchas Leadership – Stay in Touch

By Rav Moshe Weinberger Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

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e learn a halacha of historical significance in this week’s parsha. Following the daughters of Tzlafchad’s request for an inheritance because their father died without sons, the pasuk (Bamidbar 27:8) says: “Speak to the children of Israel to say, ‘If a man dies, and he has no son, you shall transfer his inheritance to his daughter.’” Chazal (Yalkut Shimoni, Remez 774) teach: “The portion of inheritances should have been taught through Moshe Rabbeinu, but the daughters of Tzlafchad were meritorious and it was taught through them, for good things happen through the meritorious and bad things thorough the guilty.”

Why was the daughters’ request so meritorious? They made the following claim (Bamidbar 27:4): “Give us a portion among the brothers of our father.” As background, they informed Moshe (ibid. 3), “Our father died in the desert and he was not among the assembly that banded together against Hashem in the assembly of Korach. Rather, for his own sin he died…” While we understand that Korach did not have a good reputation, why was it relevant to their claim to make sure Moshe knew their father was not a follower

of Korach?

It must be that all of the complaints of Korach, his assembly, Dasan, Aviram, and their ilk shared one common denominator, as we see from their never-ending grumbling: “Is it not enough that you brought us up from a land flowing with milk and honey to cause us to die in the desert?! … You have not even brought us to a land flowing with milk and honey…” (ibid. 16:1314). Their complaints all revolved around negativity toward Eretz Yisroel. “Let us turn around and return to Egypt” (ibid. 14:4).

The daughters of Tzlafchad wanted to make sure there was no room for error. Their claim to the land was only based on a love for Eretz Yisroel and a strong desire to cling to it. They were telling Moshe that their father was not part of Korach’s assembly. Rather, his “Zionist” credentials were impeccable. They wanted Moshe to know that their claim was based on a love for Eretz Yisroel. Nothing else. Their request was not based on a desire for wealth or property. That is why the pasuk traces their lineage back to Yosef (Rashi on ibid. 27:1). Just as Yosef loved Eretz Yisroel so much that he could not bear the thought of being

buried in Egypt, so too the daughters of Tzlafchad were motivated purely by a desire to connect to the land.

In their request, the daughters of Tzlafchad do not even use the word “inheritance” or “property.” Rather, they only ask for a “portion.” All they wanted was to connect themselves to Eretz Yisroel. That is why they wanted to ensure Moshe knew that their father was not among the people who negated the Jewish people’s essential connection to Eretz Yisroel.

When Hashem tells Moshe to grant their request, He tells him (ibid. 7), “The daughters of Tzlafchad speak justly.” They word kein, justly, does not only mean that they were right. It means, as the brothers said to Yosef as viceroy, “kinim anachnu, We are honest” (Bereishis 42:11). Although Moshe Rebbeinu was unimaginably great, on his level, he had somewhat of a blind spot.

He had a suspicion that these young women only wanted a portion in Eretz Yisroel as a way of accumulating wealth or status. So Hashem had to tell him, “No, these women are honest. Their desire for a connection to Eretz Yisroel is based on a pure and simple love for the land.”

Moshe, on his level, failed to recognize that the daughters of Tzlafchad were not part of the old generation, with its slave mentality and inability to intellectually and emotionally separate from Egypt. They were part of the new generation who was looking forward to taking possession of the land in order to live a full Jewish life there.

The truth is that we still do not understand how Moshe could have forgotten the halacha that a daughter inherits from her father when he has no sons. Is it possible Moshe never learned this halacha from Hashem? Rashi (on Bamidbar 27:5) explains differently: “The halacha eluded him. Here, he was punished for taking the crown by saying (Devarim 1:17), ‘And the matter that is too difficult for you, bring it, takrivin, to me and I will hear it.’”

Outwardly, it seems that because Moshe showed too much confidence in himself, he forgot the halacha.

The pasuk therefore says about him (Bamidbar 27:5), “Moshe brought, va’yakreiv, their matter before Hashem.” Could it be that Rashi means Moshe was being punished for a modicum of arrogance? Such an explanation is highly unlikely, as Hashem Himself testifies (Bamid-

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bar 12:3), “And the man Moshe was exceedingly humble, more than any other man on the face of the earth.”

We must also understand why Moshe was punished for saying, “And the matter that is too difficult for you, bring it to me and I will hear it.” Moshe said this almost forty years earlier, when he listened to Yisro’s advice and, instead of hearing all halachic questions himself, appointed judges over tens, hundreds, thousands, and tens of thousands. So why was Moshe punished at the end of the forty years in the desert for the statement that he made to the judges almost forty years earlier?

Perhaps we can suggest an explanation. Yisro’s advice was certainly correct. It is impossible to lead a nation by personally adjudicating every personal question and interpersonal dispute that arises in the nation. It was necessary for Moshe to delegate his authority and handle only the most difficult cases.

But the natural result of this was that, as the new generation grew up over the course of the forty years in the desert, Moshe Rabbeinu had virtually no personal contact with this new generation. He was busy managing the complaints of the Egyptian-born generation who were struggling with a fear of conquering Eretz Yisroel and a misplaced nostalgia for life in Egypt. Moshe was accustomed to leading Jews immersed in an exile mentality. For entirely legitimate reasons, Moshe lacked the opportunity for a personal connection with the younger generation who were ready, willing, and able to start a new life in the land of Israel. At the end of the forty years in the desert, they were the majority of the Jewish people.

The new generation, the generation of the daughters of Tzlafchad, grew up without a direct connection with Moshe Rabbeinu. Perhaps that is why Moshe was baffled by them.

Their true intentions were not clear to him. He did not know whether their claim was driven by a desire for wealth or a sincere longing to connect to Eretz Yisroel. That is why Moshe forgot this halacha relating to inheritance as a result of saying, “And the matter that is too difficult for you, bring it to me and I will hear it.” It was not a “punishment” per sé. It was a natural result of the

fact that Moshe was not connected to the idealism and longing for Eretz Yisroel prevalent in the new generation.

There is an amazing Midrash (Yalkut Shimoni, Chukas, Remez 763) related to this point: “And you shall speak to the rock before them and it will give forth its waters” (Bamidbar 20:8).

When a child is small, his teacher hits him and he learns. When he

you see it, you too will be gathered to your people just as Aharon your brother was gathered.” The new generation needed a new leader, Yehoshua, who knew how to speak with the generation and who was in touch with the nature of the people who would enter Eretz Yisroel. Perhaps Mount Avarim refers to the avar, the past. Moshe stood upon the mountain separating the past from the future.

Moshe stood upon the mountain separating the past from the future..

grows up, [the teacher] rebukes him with words. So too, Hashem said to Moshe: “When this rock was young, you hit it, as it says, ‘And you shall hit the rock’ (Shmos 17:6). But now, ‘And you shall speak to the rock before them and it will give forth its waters’ (Bamidbar 20:8). Teach one chapter [of Torah] over it and it will bring forth water from the rock.”

We see from this Midrash that the leaders of the new generation were obligated to lead them differently than the previous generation.

It was difficult for Moshe to lead a generation that did not grow up in slavery, who did not grow up under the Egyptian whip, the same way he led the old generation. The old generation grew up being treated like property. They were beaten and expected to be obedient subjects. They unfortunately only understood the language of the whip. But the young generation grew up with freedom and a sense of self-respect. That is why Moshe was unable to lead the new generation into Eretz Yisroel.

He had limited contact with the young generation and therefore did not know how to communicate with them. The generation of Eretz Yisroel was the generation of “Speak to the heart of Yerushalayim and call out to it” (Yeshayahu 40:2).

Moshe’s difficulty in fully connecting with the new generation was the reason why, immediately after the story of the daughters of Tzlafchad, Hashem told him (Bamidbar 27:12-13), “Ascend this Mount Avarim and see the land that I have given to the children of Israel. When

A chassid of the Rachmastrivker Rebbe in Boro Park, shlita, once introduced the Rebbe to an elderly Jew, proudly explaining that this man was “ah fartzeitiker chassid, an old-fashioned chassid.”

Meaning it as a great compliment, the chassid wanted the Rebbe to understand that his acquaintance

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was not one of those new-fangled chassidim, with a “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” connotation.

Unimpressed, the Rebbe responded, “I don’t know what it says in your Haggadah, but in mine, it says, ‘At the beginning our forefathers were idol-worshipers… But now, the Holy One brought us close to His service…’ I don’t need to meet old-fashioned chassidim. I want to meet new chassidim.”

May we merit to be new hassidim who live with Hashem’s will for our lives now and not merely mimic what Jews have done in the past.

May Hashem cause us to merit more and more leaders who are connected to the past but understand the nature of our generation and lead us according to that understanding.

With that, as it says in Shemonah Esreh, “Our eyes will see Your return to Zion with mercy.”.

Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and has served as Mashpia in Yeshiva University since 2013.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Between the Lines

Consistency and Constancy

By Eytan Kobre

It takes twenty years to become an overnight success. -Eddie Cantor

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n 2004, Michigan-area hospitals began implementing a new procedure in their intensive care units, achieving remarkable results almost immediately.

Three months after implementation, the procedure had cut the infection rate of ICU patients by two-thirds; within 18 months, the procedure had saved the lives of over 1,500 people while slashing $75 million in healthcare expenses. The “miracle” procedure was written up in the New England Journal of Medicine.

And yet the procedure was as simple and fundamental as it gets.

It was just a checklist.

The checklist strategy was con-

ceived of by physician Peter Pronovost and later popularized by writer Atul Gawande. Gawande’s best-selling book, The Checklist Manifesto, describes how Pronovost’s simple checklist triggered such dramatic results.

On a sheet of plain paper, [Pronovost] plotted out the steps to take in order to avoid infections… Doctors are supposed to (1) wash their hands with soap, (2) clean the patient’s skin with antiseptic, (3) put sterile drapes over the entire patient, (4) wear a sterile mask, hat, gown, and gloves, and (5) put a sterile dressing over the catheter site once the line is in… These steps are no-brainers; they have been known and taught for years… Still, Pronovost asked the nurses in his ICU to observe the doctors for a month… In more than a third of patients, they skipped at least one [of the steps].

This “medical miracle” saved 1,500 lives while cutting healthcare costs. No technical innovations. No pharmaceutical discoveries. No cutting-edge techniques. No miracles.

Just the power of consistency – ensuring that each step in a simple process was repeated without fail.

Our Sages long ago debated which verse best sums up the Torah and its ideals (Yerushalmi, Nedarim 9:4). R’ Akiva suggested, “And you should love your fellow man as yourself” (Vayikra 19:18); Ben Azai countered with, “This is the book of the generations of Adam; on the day G-d created man, He made him in His image” (Bereishis 5:1). Both worthy selections, to be sure.

But in the introduction to his Ein Yaakov, R’ Yaakov ibn Habib cites the following additional opinions, which he “saw written…yet sought and failed to find anywhere” – Ben

Zoma: “Hear Israel, Hashem is our G-d, Hashem is One” (Devarim 6:4); Ben Nannas: “And you should love your fellow man like yourself” (Vayikra 19:18); and Ben Pazi: “The one sheep you should offer in the morning, and the second sheep you should offer in the afternoon” (Bamidbar 28:4).

Now, the first two opinions are sensible enough. One sets forth an overarching vision of our relationship with G-d, while the other provides the framework of all interpersonal interactions. But Ben Pazi’s pick? It is a rather ordinary, technical verse dealing with the Constant Offering, which consisted of sheep being sacrificed in the Bais HaMikdash each and every day, without fail.

Further reflection upon Ben Pazi’s choice, however, reveals a lesson every bit as formidable as the

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

others: real and lasting success is attained only through consistency (Nesivos Olam, Ahavas HaReia 1).

Lofty achievements and stirring aspirations are great, but consistent and constant progress – the daily grind – is where genuine and lasting accomplishments are found. Why? Because consistent actions become habits; habits become character traits; and character traits turn into a lifetime of achievement. Or, as Aristotle opined, “We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Consider great athletes. Cal Ripken Jr. wasn’t great because of a few exceptional seasons but because of his consistency over a record 2,632 consecutive games. Michael Jordan was great because he averaged 30 points per game over a 1,072-game career. Peyton Manning, in his first 16 seasons, never threw for less than 3,700 yards. Tom Seaver summed it up well when he explained, “My theory is to strive for consistency, not to worry about the numbers. If you dwell on statistics you get shortsighted; if you aim for consistency, the numbers will be there at the end.”

Success in the spiritual realm is no different. A Jewish king always must have a sefer Torah by his side so as to have constant and consistent access to its guiding words (Devarim 17:19; Sichos Mussar 92). True fear of Heaven can be attained only through consistent, “uninterrupted” immersion in the Torah and its values (Mesilas Yesharim, Chapter 25).

Indeed, we are “to walk in [G-d’s] ways all the days” of our lives “without any interruption between them” (Ibn Ezra, Devarim 19:9).

R’ Yisrael Salanter would tell his students of the lesson to be learned from birds. “A bird can soar higher and higher, as long as it flaps its wings without pause. If it halts even briefly, it will fall right to the ground.

And so it is with humans.”

Consistency and constancy are so important in spiritual pursuits because they are the mark of a true servant of G-d. Imagine a babysitter who tells you during a job interview that she is dependable…most of the time. Or a car salesman who

tells you that he is honest…most of the time. Or a surgeon who, before operating on you, tells you that he or she is able to focus…most of the

twice-daily reminder of just how monumental constancy and consistency can be. Because every so often, we do something truly great;

“We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

time. None of these would inspire confidence. Because successful and dedicated people do what they do – however ordinary – with constancy and consistency.

Consistency forever changed the trajectory of R’ Akiva’s life. Still illiterate at the age of 40, R’ Akiva noticed a well stone that bore an indentation fashioned by dripping water.

The water was only a trickle, but it was constant and it was consistent.

R’ Akiva reasoned that if something as soft as water could whittle a hole in solid rock, surely the Torah, which is described as iron-hard, would leave an indelible impression on one’s heart (Avos d’Rebbi Nosson 6:2).

So, at the age of 40, R’ Akiva left home to study Torah (Nedarim 50a).

When he finally returned home 12 years later, R’ Akiva approached his house and overheard his wife remark that she would be happy if he learned for another 12 years. So that’s what he did. Without even going inside to see his wife, R’ Akiva made an about-face and went back to learn for another 12 years because he understood the power of consistency (Sichos Mussar 92). Entering his house and seeing his wife would have reduced one continuous 24year period of study into two 12-year periods. And, at least when it comes to constancy, 12 plus 12 does not equal 24.

This past week, on the Seventeenth of Tammuz, we mourned the tragedy of no longer being able to bring the Constant Offering (Ta’anis 4:6). While the primary tragedy lies in the inability to serve G-d through this specific sacrifice, perhaps we also mourn the loss of that

more often, however, our lives are comprised of those ordinary things we do day-in and day-out. It is this core of consistency and constancy that defines who we are. It may not make headlines, but it is the stuff we’re made of.

* * * There once was a man who went to study kung fu at the Shaolin Mon-

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astery. When he arrived, the monks brought him to a pool and told him to spend all day and all night hitting the water. This went on for weeks and months on end.

Eventually, the man grew frustrated that he was being denied the true secrets of kung fu, and he left the monastery and returned home.

His family gathered round and asked what he had learned. “Nothing!” the man cried out in frustration, and he pounded his hand on the table in frustration. And, much to his surprise, the table splintered to pieces.

That’s how progress is made.

Just keep at it. Keep working. Keep hitting the water.

Success will follow.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, mediator, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments?

Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook. com.

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The Observant Jew

There’s a Lesson There Somewhere

By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

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hen we spent yom tov with family, my cousin’s son asked me how I come up with ideas to write about. “How do you find so many inspiring things?” he asked. I thought a moment and then explained. “It’s not that inspiring things happen, and I see them.

Things happen all the time, but when you train yourself to look for them and be inspired, you turn them into inspiring moments.”

While I was wondering what I would write about this time, I went (where else?) to the supermarket. As I paused to let a woman back out of her parking spot, I was incensed when another driver drove around me on the left, effectively blocking the older woman who had now backed out and began turning in that direction. He didn’t back up to let her out, but instead made this elderly woman back up so that he could drive past her! He then pulled into a spot that someone else had vacated while I was waiting for the woman to move.

What was wrong with this guy?

Has he got no patience? Can’t he see that this woman was backing out and that I was waiting? I pulled into a different spot and went over to wait for him to exit, thinking he could probably use the piece of my mind I really wanted to give him. That’s when I noticed that he’d parked right in the middle of two spots. That was too much.

As I stood there, the driver, a Chasidic fellow, and the passenger,

a Hispanic one, both got out. “He’s learning to drive,” apologized the passenger. “Yes,” agreed the driver.

“I didn’t realize that it was two lanes for two different directions.” With that, he walked away and the driving instructor got behind the wheel and left, leaving me flabbergasted.

I had been upset that the guy was oblivious to everyone else and was solely focused on getting where he wanted. While it was true, there was some room to excuse him because he wasn’t an experienced driver. I told

thought struck me. Had she been in the store with me and said, “Ooooh!

Can we buy a candy dispenser?” I know my knee-jerk reaction would have been to say no. We don’t need it, it’s probably poorly made, and we didn’t come here to buy that.

Once again, I realized that there was a lesson – and maybe an article – there. Whether about how we instinctively say or decide the opposite of what people tell us, or how absence makes the heart grow fonder, or even whether we are more gen-

I wasn’t ready at the moment to identify specifically what I would take from the incident, but at least I knew I was looking at something that had a message.

myself, “There’s a lesson in there somewhere.” I wasn’t ready at the moment to identify specifically what I would take from the incident, but at least I knew I was looking at something that had a message.

Inside the store, I saw a candy dispenser that was on sale. I decided that my daughter in camp would get a real kick out of it. I put it in my wagon and moved on. As I did so, a

erous to others when they can’t fend for themselves and more stingy when they ask us for things, there were lessons to be learned and it was OK if I didn’t figure them out on the spot.

When I checked out of the supermarket and the total (on one of my myriad daily trips) was $26.14, I smiled and even took a picture of the amount. Why? Because there was a lesson in there.

If you know gematrios, how each letter in Hebrew has a numerical value and words have the numerical value of the sum of their letters, you may have picked up on the first gematria that caught my eye. Twenty-six is the numerical value of the letters yud, hay, vav, and hay, Hashem’s name which conveys His presence and influence in the past, present and future.

Fourteen is the gematria of yud and daled, which form the word yad, meaning hand. When I saw $26.14, (taking into account that in Hebrew we read right to left) I literally saw “Yad Hashem,” the Hand of G-d, in my life. Those little blips and messages show up on our radar all the time, especially when we enhance our capabilities by tuning into the right frequency.

They tell us: there’s a lesson in there somewhere. Then it’s up to us to figure it out.

Jonathan Gewirtz is an inspirational writer and speaker whose work has appeared in publications around the world.

You can find him at www.facebook.com/ RabbiGewirtz and follow him on Twitter @RabbiJGewirtz. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter.com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion. Sign up for the Migdal Ohr, his weekly PDF Dvar Torah in English. E-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter. com and put Subscribe in the subject.

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A Fulfilled L fe

The Essence of Leadership

By Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD

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his week’s parsha, in describing Moshe’s plea to Hashem about his immediate successor, details what true leadership looks like.

Let the L-rd, the G-d of the spirits of all flesh, set a man over the congregation, who may go out before them, and who may go in before them, and who may lead them out, and who may bring them in; that the congregation of the L-rd be not as sheep which have no shepherd.

And Hashem said to Moshe, “Take Yehoshua the son of Nun, a man in whom is spirit, and lay your hand upon him” (Bamidbar 27:16-18).

As he neared the end of his leadership term, Moshe expressed no concern about enhancing his personal legacy and reveling in past accomplishments. His words instead conveyed a deep sense of care about his people’s future.

Moreover, Moshe was concerned about each Jew individually. His reference to Hashem as “the G-d of

the spirits of all flesh” highlighted His knowledge of human intricacies, a knowledge that Moshe hoped would be bestowed on his successor to ensure proper, individualized leadership. Rashi, citing Tanchuma, presents Moshe’s request as follows: “Master of the universe, the character of each person is revealed to You, and no two are alike. Appoint over them a leader who will tolerate each person according to his individual character.”

Moshe’s concern naturally also extended to the collective whole, as expressed by his request that his successor be one “who may go in before them, and who may lead them out, and who may bring them in.”

This last description also conveys another critical element of leadership: humility. In contrast to other leaders, who sent their armies to battle while they remained behind, a humble leader knows that his role is to serve at all times, even when the risks are high.

Humility is perhaps the least understood quality a person may possess. Often it is perceived as a form of meekness, a reticence that stems from a lack of self-confidence or an unwillingness to stand up and assert oneself. But that is far from what true humility is.

Though Moshe possessed many stellar personal and leadership qualities, the Torah cites only one: humility. “The man, Moshe, was exceedingly humble, more than any person on the face of the earth” (Bamidbar 12:3). Yet, ironically, it was Moshe who recorded that line about his own great humility.

Moshe also wrote about his prophetic career, describing his dialogues with G-d as the most direct and clear communications with the Divine ever experienced by man.

“Never again has there arisen in Israel a prophet like Moshe, whom G-d had known face to face” (Devarim 34:10).

How could a self-effacing indi-

vidual, someone who never wanted to serve as leader to begin with, pen such words about himself? It would be difficult to suggest he was coerced to do so, considering that Moshe surely believed, very deeply, in every word he transcribed from G-d.

The answer is that humility does not mean denying one’s talents and abilities. Nor does it demand that a person walk around with his head bowed, suggesting inferiority.

Moshe was the humblest man on earth despite the fact that he knew of G-d’s testimony and regardless of his awareness that his level of prophetic achievement was historically singular.

Ultimate humility is achieved by a person who excels in good attributes but takes no credit for his greatness. He realizes his core qualities and achievements are G-d-given. He takes no personal credit because he assumes another person would have done the same (if not

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

more) had he been granted the same package of qualities and opportunities.

The person who was named to replace him, Yehoshua, was also an epitome of humility. He would tend to the bais midrash to make sure that everything was properly returned. He was the only one to camp near Har Sinai so as to be as close to his rebbe as possible.

L’havdil, the very best organizational leaders today, the ones who have been successful in elevating their companies to the top of their respective fields, are individuals who prioritize the tried and true qualities of selfless care and consideration. They are humble and willing to admit error, on top of their other core managerial competencies.

In From Good to Great (New

York, NY, HarperBusiness, 2001), author Jim Collins describes his personal quest to identify the qualities that make a company singularly successful. He and his research team began the process with a list of near-

These leaders were all smart, shrewd, skilled and knowledgeable of their respective products and market. They were effective at developing and managing teams within their organization, establishing

Humility is perhaps the least understood quality a person may possess. ly 1,500 companies. Through the use of growth-related criteria they narrowed the list down to a group of eleven truly “great” corporations.

Additional research revealed that all eleven companies had one particular thing in common: they were all headed by what Collins termed “Level 5 Leaders.”

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a vision, setting goals, and meeting performance objectives. But so were many of the leaders of the 1,500 other corporations in his study. What set these Level 5 CEOs apart from so many others in their comparative group was the fact that they were recognized and admired by their coworkers for their noble character.

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Collins’ group of Level 5 leaders were humble and did not pursue success for their personal glory. Some were shy, but remained undaunted when asked to make difficult, even risky, decisions. They were caring of others, while maintaining a burning, passionate drive, a deep desire to advance their respective cause.

And because they were so exceptional in their care and concern, others began to mimic their deeds and thinking processes, further advancing the firm’s cause.

Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach and president of Impactful Coaching & Consulting. He can be reached at (212) 470-6139 or at nhoff@ impactfulcoaching.com.

Learn more about his soon-to-be-released book, Becoming the New Boss and download a free chapter at BecomingtheNewBoss.com.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Halachically

Speaking

The Three Weeks

by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits

T

he time of the Three Weeks is a period when we avoid many activities. Why do we refrain from such activities? What are included in these activities? Below we will discuss the halachos of the Three Weeks.

We live in a world today where it is very hard to realize what we are missing by not having the Beis Hamikdash. We have gotten too comfortable with our houses, etc. and are not really waiting for the day that Mashiach will come. The Gemara tells us one who mourns over the Beis Hamikdash will merit seeing it rebuilt. The Shulchan Aruch tells us that a G-d fearing person should worry about the churban Beis Hamikdash every day of his life.

Five tragic occurrences happened on Shiva Asar B’Tammuz: 1. Moshe Rabbeinu broke the luchos when he came down from Har Sinai and saw the eigel; 2. The karbon tamid was no longer brought in the first Beis Hamikdash; 3. The destruction of the second Beis Hamikdash startedl 4. Apostumos burnt the Torah; 5. A tzelem was placed in the heichel.

On Tisha B’Av the following tragedies happened: 1. Klal Yisroel were

told they were not going into Eretz Yisroel because they wept in vain after hearing the evil report of the meraglim; 2. The first and second Batei Mikdash were destroyed; 3. Beitar, which was home to thousands of Jews, was captured by the Romans; 4.

Turnisrupos surrounded the heichel.

Because of the above tragedies, the custom is to refrain from many activities during the days between Shiva Asar B’Tammuz and Tisha B’Av, which are commonly known as “Ben Hametzarim.”

It would seem that the time for aveilus is either from Rosh Chodesh Av or during the week of Tisha B’Av. However, many poskim, among them the Rama, bring down that the time of aveilus starts from Shiva Asar B’Tammuz.

NIGHT BEFORE OR IN THE MORNING There is a discussion among the poskim if one has to refrain from the actions which are not done during the Three Weeks from the morning of Shiva Asar B’Tammuz or even the night before. Most poskim say that one should refrain from doing these activities even from the night before,

from tzeis. In a pressing situation one can be lenient (i.e. a wedding on Motzei Shabbos).

Some are of the opinion that during ben hashmoshes one can be lenient with the actions which are customarily refrained from during the Three Weeks (i.e. haircut).

There is a minority view that holds that some have the custom not to eat meat from Shiva Asar B’Tammuz until after Tisha B’Av, (except for Shabbos), but the custom is not like this.

Some have the custom to fast each day from Shiva Asar B’Tammuz until after Tisha B’Av, but the custom is not like this, especially for one who teaches Torah and is concerned it will affect his learning.

Many poskim mention that after the mid-day point of every day during the Three Weeks one should take some time out to mourn over the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash.

Nonetheless, this should not be done on erev Shabbos, erev Rosh Chodesh Av, Rosh Chodesh and erev Tisha B’Av.

RESTRICTED ACTIVITIES There are basically four main activities which are customarily re-

stricted during the Three Weeks. 1.

Joy, such as a wedding, dancing or music; 2. Haircuts; 3. Reciting a shehechiyanu; 4. Dangerous situations.

We will now begin to discuss these activities in the order in which they appear in the Shulchan Aruch.

WEDDINGS The custom of Ashkenazim is to refrain from making weddings from the night of Shiva Asar B’Tammuz until after Tisha B’Av. This is even if one has not fulfilled the mitzvah of having children. One is permitted to get engaged (have a vort) or write a tenayim during the Three Weeks but only without a seudah or dancing).

One is permitted to make a seudah for a bris milah or pidyon haben during the Three Weeks.

Some say that at a sheva berochos which takes during the Three Weeks, one may not have dancing or music.

Others permit dancing but no music, and others permit both dancing and music.

MUSIC Just as dancing is not done during the Three Weeks, it is customary to refrain from listening to music as

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

well. This applies to tapes, radios, CDs or DVDs. Some poskim are lenient and permit even live music at a seudas mitzvah.

One who wishes to listen to music while exercising or in a waiting room is permitted to do so. One does not have to shut off a musical ringer on his cell phone during the Three Weeks. If one is driving and is scared of falling asleep, listening to music is permitted. One is permitted to listen to music if he is suffering from depression and the music will lift his spirits.

Children below the age of chinuch are permitted to listen to music. This applies to adults who are listening to the children’s music as well (i.e. while driving in the car). In addition, a teacher in a playgroup may play music for her students who are under the age of chinuch during the Three Weeks.

There is a discussion in the poskim if playing a musical instrument for one’s livelihood is permitted during the Three Weeks. The consensus of the poskim is that doing so is permitted, although some say only until Rosh Chodesh Av. It is proper not to have music lessons during the Three Weeks.

NEWEST FAD Many say singing without music is not permitted. Therefore, the newest fad to have music which simulates instrumental music (a capella) is not a viable loophole during the Three Weeks. Such singing defeats the whole purpose of the issur because the musical experience is what is really assur, which a capella singing provides in full. If there is singing without music then it may be permitted.

In addition, some say even if one sings into a CD without beats it is considered music and forbidden.

SINGING Singing with one’s mouth is permitted during the Three Weeks. Some say singing songs which brings joy should not be done.

According to some poskim listening to a CD of chazzanos without music is permitted even if one finds it enjoyable.

HAIRCUTS The custom of Ashkenazim is not to take haircuts from Shiva Asar

B’Tammuz until after Tisha B’Av. This applies to both men and women. The reason for this is since one does not take a haircut so often, if we were allowed to take haircuts until Rosh Chodesh Av it would not be recognizable that we let our hair grow after Rosh Chodesh, therefore, the custom is to refrain from haircuts for the entire three week period. This stands true even for the honor of Shabbos. One is permitted to comb his hair even if some hair may fall out.

Some say an Ashkenazi can give a Sefardi a haircut since the Sefardi is permitted to have a haircut until the week of Tisha B’Av, but l’halacha one should not do so. Others say if a Sefardi (who is permitted to take a haircut until the week of Tisha B’Av) wishes he can be stringent and not give haircuts to Ashkenazim, but according to the letter of the law doing so is permitted.

An adult may not give a child a haircut, since one should teach his children about the Churban, however, if it is for the need of the child then doing so is permitted until the week of Tisha B’Av. One should avoid performing an upsherin of a child during the Three Weeks.

The haircut which is forbidden refers to the head and beard (shaving).

If one’s mustache is getting long and in the way of eating, it may be shaven.

One who works in a place that if he does not shave or take a haircut he will lose his job, may shave or take a haircut during the Three Weeks, except for the week of Tisha B’Av. A woman whose hair grows long enough that it starts coming out of her head covering may shave it. The same is true if the shaving is done for tzinius reasons. Going for electrolysis is permitted for a woman. A woman is permitted to tweeze her eyebrows during the Three Weeks. A sheitel which needs to be fixed or cut is permitted until Rosh Chodesh Av. A girl who is involved with dating can shave before she goes on a date.

Some say if one’s hair is so long that it is a chatzitzah for hilchos tefillin then one is permitted to take a haircut. It is permitted for the one who is making a bris (father of the child), the mohel, and sandek to shave for the bris, until the week of Tisha B ’Av. A chosson during his sheva

brachos is permitted to shave since it is like a yom tov for him.

The opinion of some poskim is to be lenient for a bar mitzvah boy to get a haircut if the bar mitzvah is before the week that Tisha B’Av falls out, but other say this should not be done, and this is the custom of many.

CUTTING NAILS One is permitted to cut nails during the Three Weeks. A mohel is permitted to cut his nail in order to perform a bris more efficiently.

SHEHECHIYANU AND BUYING NEW ITEMS It is a good practice to refrain from reciting a shehechiyanu on a fruit or garment during the Three Weeks (until the tenth of Av) (please note the below discussion only pertains to a fruit or garment that requires a shehechiyanu to be recited according to halacha. In addition this discussion is not referring to the Nine Days where the halachos are more stringent). Some say the custom is only to refrain from a shehechiyanu from the Nine Days (see below) but not before. The reason for the custom is since this time is a time of “unpleasant occurrences” it is not the time to say the bracha of shehechiyanu where we mention being “brought to this time.”

A woman who is expecting is allowed to eat a fruit even if she will have to make a shehechiyanu on it since if she wants a food and does not have it there can be a danger.

From the fact that one should not recite a shehechiyanu during these days, we learn that one should also not buy any clothing which would require him to recite a shehechiyanu.

Some say one who mistakenly recited a bracha rishona on a fruit which requires a shehechiyanu should recite a shehechiyanu on it before eating it.

According to the above, one would be permitted to buy a chashuv item during the Three Weeks as long as no shehechiyanu is recited on its purchase. Some still say that something which is “chashuv” should not be bought during this time. A sefer that one does not recite a shehechiyanu on (not chashuv, or according to those poskim that no shehechiyanu is recited on seforim) is permitted to be

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bought until Rosh Chodesh Av. Some say if avoiding the purchase of an item will cause a loss, one should just give a down payment for it and pay the rest after the Three Weeks, others are more lenient. Some say an item which one does not wear when he buys it (i.e. clothing which requires alternation) and he would recite a shehechiyanu when wearing it, would be permitted to buy during the Three Weeks in order to wear it after Tisha B’Av. A new garment which one bought before the Three Weeks and recited a shehechiyanu on it (according to those who say a shehechiyanu is not recited at the time of wearing but at the time of the purchase) at that time is permitted to wear it for the first time until Rosh Chodesh Av. One is permitted to recite a shehechiyanu on a mitzvah such as a pidyon haben or bris. In addition, one is permitted to recite hatov v’hameitiv during the entire Three Weeks.

For example, one is permitted to buy a car until Rosh Chodesh Av if it will be used for his family.

One who gives birth to a girl may recite a shehechiyanyu, even if the girl is born during the Three Weeks.

Some have the custom that one should refrain from moving into a new home during the Three Weeks.

Some say one is permitted to give a gift to someone during the entire Three Weeks if it is something which one does not recite a shehechiyanu on.

AVOIDING DANGER The poskim mention a few actions to refrain from the entire three weeks period because of danger involved.

One should be careful not to walk by himself outside of the city between the beginning of the fourth hour until the end of the ninth hour of the day (in the summer it is approx. from 11am-2pm). In addition, any place where people frequent it is permitted.

One should avoid having surgery during the Three Weeks if pushing it off until after the Three Weeks is possible.

Some have the custom to refrain from swimming during the Three Weeks. However, the custom is to go swimming until Rosh Chodesh Av. Nonetheless, one should avoid swimming in dangerous places.

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On the Streets of

Israel

A Year Well Spent

By Elana Dure

I

t’s hard to believe my time in Israel has ended.

For ten months, I explored the Israeli school system as an English teaching assistant with Masa Israel Teaching Fellows. I traveled the country, made new friends, and became a part of the Petach Tikva community.

The greatest highlight of my trip was the relationships I built with my students. I can’t help but smile as I think back on the past months and all the children I’ve interacted with.

For some students, it was a simple “Good morning! How are you?” that triggered a smile. For others, it was the countless experiential learning games we played. A third, more advanced group appreciated the intensive literary lessons I planned. I customized each session to fit the needs of the students I worked with in order to make English more enjoyable and tangible for them.

My time in Israel did not come without its challenges. I quickly learned that my proficiency in He-

brew was far from fluent and that my grammar was atrocious. Luckily, I found great teachers in my students who never shied away from correcting my speech. I was also fortunate to take a five-month Ulpan Hebrew language course. I can now confidently say my Hebrew vocabulary

ate lasting friendships with the other fellows on my program. I also met numerous families who welcomed me into their homes with open arms. Throughout my stay, I knew I had people to turn to for guidance and support. I was invited to families for Shabbat meals and traveled

In no other country will you see two strangers argue over traffic one minute and hug next.

and fluency have improved.

For me, the most difficult part, however, was being away from my family and friends. I never envisioned myself as a homebody, but living halfway across the globe gave me perspective on how important it is to have a strong support system.

In Israel, I was fortunate to cre-

with friends on Sunday adventures.

Even though I missed my family in New York, I knew I wasn’t alone.

Israel is a beautiful and welcoming country. The people may seem tough on the outside – they are loud, blunt, aggressive, and have no understanding of what a line at the grocery store should look like – but

they are loving and generous underneath it all.

In no other country will you be invited to a Friday night dinner five minutes after meeting the host for the first time on a city bus. In no other country will you see two strangers argue over traffic one minute and hug next.

This is why I love Israel. It is the land of sabras: prickly on the outside and sweet on the inside.

Before coming to Israel, I set a list of goals for myself. I wanted to become a better teacher, improve my Hebrew, and immerse myself in Israeli culture. I think it is safe to say that I achieved my goals and more.

I am proud of my year abroad and I am happy with the volunteer work I accomplished. This was, indeed, a year well spent.

Elana Dure is a resident of Woodmere and recent graduate of the University of Maryland. She is currently teaching English in Petach Tikva through Masa’s Israel Teaching Fellows program.

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456 Central Avenue Cedarhurst, NY 11516

(516) 791-1925

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L’Hiyot Mensch Meeting Our Jewish Brothers with Respect and Understanding

By Sholom Nachtman

I

n his coverage of the 1986 confirmation hearings for William H. Rehnquist, columnist Richard Cohen made the following observation: “Maybe the supreme gift of Yiddish to the English language is the word ‘mensch.’… The question before the U.S. Senate can best be stated in Yiddish: Is William Rehnquist a ‘mensch’?”

Proponents of salty words like “chutzpah” and “schlemiel” might disagree, but it is hard to argue with Cohen’s assessment of the value of the word “mensch.”

Mensch is a unique term, perhaps without cognate in the English language. It denotes a holistic ideal of goodness that encompasses

religious, interpersonal, and societal behavior. In Judaism, being a mensch is something of an unofficial 11th commandment, a convenient shorthand we use to sum up our vast library of mussar and halachic literature relating to personal conduct.

However, as the Ramchal points out in his introduction to Mesilas Yesharim, it is often our most fundamental beliefs that we tend to overlook. Despite its centrality in our thoughts, menschlich behavior is often absent in our conduct, whether it is within families, communities or just between strangers in the street.

Many bemoan the disappearance of menschlichkeit and the decline of common courtesy in modern society. One man, though, is attacking

the problem head on and is changing worlds.

L’hiyot Mensch Meet Dr. Moshe Kaplan M.D., founder of the Be A Mensch foundation, who believes that being a mensch is a simple, unifying message that can do wonders for healing rifts between individuals and in society. His Israel-based organization has rallied behind this slogan and delivers its message in many different, creative ways. Despite not speaking Hebrew, Dr. Kaplan has managed to change Israeli society though his organization’s activities. The foundation’s success has

shown that the simple idea – L’hiyot Mensch – can be a silver bullet for one of Israel’s most intractable problems: the rift between the religious and non-religious sectors.

Dr. Kaplan’s mission revolves around a fundamental ideal, encapsulated by the foundation’s name: be a mensch in all interactions with other people. As laid out on his website, being a mensch is something everyone can do: “A mensch is many things and one simple thing. A mensch does what is right because it is right towards family, towards strangers, at home and in public.

When people behave with honesty, integrity, consideration, and respect, they themselves prosper, as does society at large. By spreading

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Israeli basketball star Tal Brodi in an endorsment video for Be A Mensch foundation

mensch-like behavior, we can make our society happier, healthier and more successful.”

Dr. Kaplan’s mensch crusade began with the publication of his third book, Be a Mensch: Why Good Character Is the Key to a Life of Happiness, Health, Wealth, and Love, in 2009. His previous book, A Wholly Life, was an anthology of advice from experts in different fields on how to integrate spiritualty into all aspects of life. Dr. Kaplan was looking to write a similar book of anthologized advice and decided to explore the idea of what it means to be a mensch. He realized it was a concept that could appeal to everyone, regardless of their political or religious feelings. The publication of this book led to Kaplan exploring ways to promote common decency and respectful dialogue between people who might otherwise be at odds.

Meetings of Understanding The year after Dr. Kaplan published his “Mensch” book, he founded his foundation. The central focus of Dr. Kaplan’s organization is to bridge the gaps in Israeli society by facilitating the meeting of people from different backgrounds in a non-confrontational way. The theme of these meetings is simple: everyone deserves to be treated like a mensch, no matter who they are or what they believe. The foundation arranges for meetings between

chareidim and chilonim all over the country. His organization is so successful that he does not need to seek out chiloni organizations with which to connect. For example, three years ago, when there were protests in Kikar Robin, some of the Be A Mensch founders – clad in suits and black hats – gathered there to speak with protestors and to, at times, address the crowds. The chiloni protestors were impressed: you care about us and our problems and came to join

Founder Dr. Moshe Kaplan (left) with Nof Atamna-Ismaeel and Prof. Dan Shechtman

that the organization can charge such high fees. But the group realized that they needed to offer their members something more meaningful in their lives, and so they have their Scout leaders join in Be A Mensch. Scout leaders – who are in charge of over 40 boy and girl scouts – come back to their units praising and promoting the program.

How do the meetings work? Be A Mensch trains chareidi individuals – whom they interview and screen

“The dream of many secular Israelis is to meet a chareidi because chareidim represent a link to Jewish identity.” us in our protest. At least six people came over to one organizer, Mordechai, with tears in their eyes to share their amazement at how chareidi people were concerned with chilonim’s problems.

When you show people you care, you can move worlds.

Since then, many chiloni groups – including Shomer Hatzair, Bnei Akiva, Israeli Boy Scouts, divisions of the IDF, and the Betar Youth Movement – have benefited from the Be A Mensch foundation. The Boy Scouts in Israel is a huge organization – it consists of around 80,000 members – and is an expensive unit to join. So many of the country’s leaders have gone through its ranks

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beforehand – in how to run the program, what topics to discuss, and how to speak with their chiloni counterparts. Although the Be A Mensch foundation is a chareidi organization, its stated goal is to foster unity, understanding, respect and love between two Jewish factions. They discuss non-confrontational topics that are important to all individuals.

For example, what is joy? How do we acquire joy? Does everyone benefit from joy? Is there free will in this world? What constitutes free will?

These discussions are meaningful to all involved, but the topics – different every week – are guided by Torah thoughts and premises.

The program meets weekly for

12 months. During that time, chareidi individuals, who are meeting with the groups of around seven Scout leaders every week, develop a true rapport with their newfound friends. They began to respect one another; they endeavor to understand one another.

At the first meeting, a video is shown. It’s an amazing film, created entirely by a chiloni cast. Rav Elyashiv, zt”l, had a few cousins who were completely secular and were big in the TV and film industry in Israel. After the tzaddik’s passing, they wanted to make a movie about him. They filmed part of the movie in Rav Elyashiv’s apartment, and the only ones involved were chilonim.

At the end of the film – which was shown on Channel 1 in Israel – one of the actors says, “I like these people – and I’ll tell you why.”

He asks, “Who are the chareidim? It’s my grandfather and your grandfather.” We all come from the same place, he points out.

The movie, when shown, helps to break the ice between the chilonim and chareidim in the program. The chilonim are receptive to it; after all, it was created by chilonim.

At one point during the meetings the Boy Scouts show a film about their program. At another point, the chareidim show a movie about what life is like as a chareidi. Slowly, the two groups develop respect for each other; no longer is each one part of a faction – they are individuals who are all part of one nation.

These get-togethers are often

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revelatory for those involved. People from radically different backgrounds get the rare chance to relate on a personal level. Longstanding fears and misconceptions about others are dropped. Non-religious people learn about the sacred heritage they share with their religious neighbors. People who attend these meetings are often deeply moved and find their lives changed by the interactions facilitated by the Be A Mensch foundation.

Sometimes, as a natural consequence of the new friendships, chilonim begin to come to their chareidi friends for advice. As one organizer explained, if you have a friend who is a doctor, sometimes you’ll ask him for advice. Or if you have a friend who is a lawyer, sometimes you’ll ask him questions about law.

It’s the same concept here. These chilonim now have a friend in the chareidi world. Should they want to ask someone about Shabbos or bris mila or kashrus, they have somewhere to turn. And when they do, and want to pursue their Jewish heritage further, there is someone there to help them along the way.

Secrets to its Success Since its inception, the Be A Mensch foundation has been a resounding success, albeit one that does its best to fly under the radar.

They do no advertising, but they have developed a sterling word-ofmouth reputation. Participants in Be A Mensch events write glowingly of how the organization has allowed them to connect with their Jewish brothers and sisters. Many chiloni organizations eagerly initiate contact with Be A Mensch and request meetings. In fact, the Boy Scouts have asked Be A Mensch to set up 15 meeting programs in the upcoming year. But training chareidi leaders and facilitating the program require funds that the foundation does not have. One of the Be A Mensch organizers quipped, “We are menschlich, so we wouldn’t hire people without having the funds, but the funds are

sorely needed.” When our brothers and sisters reach out to us, shouldn’t we be there?

According to people who work with the organization, there are several reasons for the success of Be A Mensch. Gavriel Sanders, an associate of the organization’s directors and resident of Far Rockaway, explains that the low profile main-

in one word: disruption. “Rav Shach advised Rav Avrohom Ravitz from Degel Hatorah to use disruption in first address to Knesset. When he spoke, Rav Ravitz proclaimed that the one issue that bothered him the most … was religious coercion. To hear these words from a religious MK shook the walls of Knesset. It was the last thing the crowd expect-

Slowly, the two groups develop respect for each other; no longer is each one part of a faction – they are individuals who are all part of one nation.

tained by Be A Mensch is a key part of their successful approach. “This is a group of people that understands the value of attracting people to a unifying message, as opposed to inflating itself with promotion. This means adopting a lean, no fluff financial model, as well as pursuing dialogue that draws people in. The rhetoric and methods of conventional outreach can sometimes intimidate or alienate people. Be A Mensch avoids this by being a true grassroots movement that allows people to have a baggage-free personal encounter with their shared heritage.”

A director of the organization explained that the secret to Be A Mensch’s success can be summed up

ed to hear from a religious person.

This made them stand up and take notice.” He continued, “We utilize a similar method of disruption in our outreach efforts. We try to shatter every stereotype about chareidim.

By breaking these barriers, we disarm people and build the trust that allows us to share our message.”

The director also pointed out that unlike previous generations, modern day secular Israelis are not anti-religious. There is a strong desire among the wider Israeli community to find meaning, and this often means seeking out their religious brethren. “The dream of many secular Israelis is to meet a chareidi,” he says, “because chareidim repre-

sent a link to Jewish identity, and what these people want most is to understand what it means to be a Jew and a moral person. Unfortunately, sometimes they are scared off by the intensity of chareidim and religious practice. By creating a safe, non-threatening feeling we allow them to fulfill their dream.

We allow them to peacefully explore the most pressing question that they have: what does it mean to be a part of klal Yisroel? This is something that everyone wants to know, from the youngest Boy and Girl Scouts to the highest ranking members of the army. Now the organizations reach out to us, because the desire is so strong to have these events take place at the schools.”

Dr. Kaplan is not alone in his quest to bring menschlich behavior to the world. He is backed by a prestigious advisory board, as well as the endorsement of many eminent rabbinic figures. The eclectic nature of the advisory board, which includes former United States Senator Joe Lieberman as well as Nobel Prize winners, MKs, rabbis, professors, and an Israeli basketball star, speaks volumes about the universal appeal of the organization’s message. In addition, Be A Mensch teams up with other organizations and activists to bring the ideals of peaceful dialogue and sincere interactions to Israeli society. One of these teammates is Rabbi Yehuda Shine, a charismatic speaker who has made enormous strides towards uniting Israeli society. Shine captured the attention of the media during a 2013 anti-chariedi protest. In front of a crowd in Tel Aviv that was decrying chareidim as parasites, Rabbi Shine appeared onstage clad in the traditional chareidi uniform of a dark suit and black hat. He exhorted the crowd that religious and non-religious people must refuse to be enemies, a message that electrified the crowd and transformed the rally. Since then, supported by Be A Mensch, Rabbi Shine’s message of unity has spread across the country and changed people’s lives. Dr. Kaplan has also cooperated with Rabbi Benzion Klatzko

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

of Shabbos.com with initiatives like Mensch of the Year, a contest that awarded a prize to a family that had proven themselves to be exceptional hosts to Shabbos guests. Efforts like these, in addition to public service announcements promoting unity after divisive incidents in Israel, are some of the many ways that Be A Mensch delivers its message of unity and tolerance.

A Personal Journey Dr. Kaplan points to his own path to observance as proof that it is often personal interactions that create the spark, not a lightning bolt of spiritual inspiration, that leads to religious observance.

Dr. Kaplan was raised in Trenton, New Jersey, in a family that cared

deeply about Israel and supported the ZOA but was largely unobservant. After completing his residency in San Francisco and military service in U.S. Public Health Service, Dr. Kaplan opened and maintained a successful medical practice. He achieved material success but felt unfulfilled, and he began to explore his Jewish background. His quest began with reading books about Judaism and eventually led him to seek out the Bay Area’s small religious community. It was these people, and the conversations and Shabbos meals he shared with them, that ultimately drew Dr. Kaplan to Torah Judaism. One of the most pivotal of these personal interactions, which led to Dr. Kaplan’s move to Israel, came one day in the mid ‘80s when Rav Chaim Kreiswirth stopped in San Francisco en route from An-

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twerp to Melbourne. Dr. Kaplan asked the rav for a bracha, but the rabbi refused. “I’m going to get you a better bracha,” said Rav Kreiswirth, who proceeded to place a midnight call to the Steipler Gaon who gave Dr. Kaplan a bracha that he should be able to move to Israel.

With this inspiration, Dr. Kaplan gave up his old life, sold his practice, and moved to Har Nof in 1986.

His first Shabbos in Jerusalem, sitting in a cold and rainy apartment with plastic covering the windows, Dr. Kaplan started to have second thoughts about his move. He had gone from being a Rolls Royce-driving American medical professional with a 3,500 square-foot mansion to being unemployed, freezing in a tiny apartment in Israel. Despite this rocky start, Dr. Kaplan persevered.

He attended yeshivos and joined the

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community. Through connecting with others, he built a life for himself in Israel and became involved with the non-profit work he does today.

Dr. Kaplan says he has gratitude to those who helped him on his journey and hopes that with his current efforts he can return the favor to others. As we enter the Three Weeks, the mission of this vital organization and its inspiring team provides us with a reminder about the power of reaching out with love, connecting with understanding, fostering respect – and the importance of being a mensch.

Funds are needed to expand the Be A Mensch program for the upcoming year.

Be a part of connecting to our brothers and sisters. To learn more or to donate to Be A Mensch, contact http://beamensch.com/donate/.

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I got married around eight months ago to Shira. Shira is a wonderful girl, and she is everything I had hoped for. The reason I’m writing to you is because ever since we got married I am shocked to see how connected Shira is still to her mother. When we were dating and engaged, I knew that she was super close to her mother and thought it was kind of sweet since my relationship with my parents is respectful but formal. I certainly don’t pour my heart out to them, and when I need advice, they are close to the last people I turn to for good advice. I thought it was so special that Shira would call her mother several times a day and also call her father at least once a day. I loved witnessing their closeness. But I just assumed that once we got married, I would take over for a good portion of those times.

I am finding that it not the case. Though I consider my relationship with Shira to be a good one and I feel that we are getting closer all the time, when something comes up, I’ve noticed she will feel the need to tell her mother about it before she tells me.

I happen to like my in-laws very much and have a fine relationship with them. But I’m finding myself feeling jealous of them because of the special place they hold with Shira. I know this must sound very childish and certainly immature, but I can’t help myself from feeling like I’m not where I should be with Shira. I want to be number one in Shira’s mind. Now I’m number 2 or number 3.

I know I need to speak to her about it because I find myself getting angry at times but I don’t want her to think I’m a child. Any suggestions about how a newish husband like myself should approach this conversation with his wife?

And while I’m at it, let me ask you this: am I correct to expect to be No. 1?

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

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t’s really smart of you to reach out for help during shana rishona. Both parties in a new marriage have a lot of adjustments to make and skills to learn in order to have a good strong marriage. You are honest with the panel and you are understanding of Shira’s past closeness with her parents. Recognition that you’re angry about her turning to her mother first and that you feel that you are not her number one is something you want to communicate about. That’s good.

It’s how to communicate that is the challenge. And simply coming out with it is not the way to go. All of your pent up anger and feelings may

be too much for Shira to handle and really hear. People get defensive in new relationships where there is a lot at stake.

You need to build trust and a comfort zone in both directions with Shira. She also has feelings that should be shared but isn’t doing that yet. How to communicate so that you are heard and that you feel safe is something you can learn together in a healthy, non-threatening atmosphere through the Shalom Workshops. These workshops, which are offered to newlyweds and other couples by the Shalom Taskforce, are led by trained facilitators including social workers, rabbis and kallah teachers who get certified in this nationally accredited healthy marriage training called PAIRS. Hundreds of engaged and mar-

ried frum couples have taken the workshops (which run several sessions and are offered in group or private settings), with which I am very familiar. The content covers many relationship issues, financial issues and practice sessions plus matters that are unique to observant couples.

This is a good start. It will help you talk and share in non-threatening ways so that you can be understood.

If you feel that your communication skills need more help, consider going into couple’s therapy. But the workshops are recommended first – they are non-threatening and have become almost a rite of passage for new couples in our communities.

Meanwhile, on a day-to-day basis, try to be warm and show that you’re caring. Don’t create a problem by bringing up the workshops. Propose enrolling after talking to some of your friends. Give it the context of “let’s make our new marriage as best as could be. Let’s do this for ourselves; it’s a gift to ourselves to make our relationship even better.”

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A.

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ou guys sound very young. Shira – running to her parents to discuss every tidbit of your day. You – disappointed and, dare I say, jealous that you are not number one in her life.

There’s a sure-fire cure for your problems.

TIME. In time your connection as marrieds will grow stronger. In time, you will have built more common experiences to discuss and delight in. In time, you will have forged the relationship that makes you each number one in the other’s mind. This affinity and trust between the two of you does not happen overnight or even in eight months of marriage.

Communication may expedite the process. Tell Shira how you feel;

This affinity and trust between the two of you does not happen overnight or even in eight months of marriage. skip the part about being number one. Creating an awareness that “now we are a couple” will hopefully make her more sensitive to your needs as a husband/sounding board/confidante/friend.

Another Shadchan Michelle Mond

A

married woman’s obligations to her husband supersede her obligation to honor her parents in situations where she must choose between the two. (See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 240:17) Shira’s relationship with you should be number one.

It is very nice that she has a wonderful relationship with her parents but it sounds like she must learn ways to cut the cord. Start with a non-threatening, loving conversation about it.

If she does not know it is a problem, she will not know to change. Tell her the things that bother you,and how much you appreciate her loving family. However, make it clear that you are feeling second in her life. If she is not able to hear you, try making a meeting with the two of you and a rav/mentor who she admires to help moderate this difficult conversation.

Try to convey that although her relationship with her parents is very admirable, now that you’re married the two of you should be one unit that puts each other first and foremost.

Hatzlacha with this discussion; iy”H it should just bring you closer!

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The Other Shadchan Tzipporah Feldman

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ometimes singles see red flags while they are dating and misread the content behind the behavior. Understanding it to be sweet or cute. In your case, on some level you probably felt that the enmeshment between Shira and her parents was definitely on the extreme side but you chose to view it from an admiring perspective since your own relationship with your parents may have been wanting in some ways.

The point is, you shouldn’t be surprised by Shira’s behavior now that you are married. Someone who is ready to get married should not be calling her parents, collectively, four or five times a day. That doesn’t reflect a great deal of maturity or independence. It sounds like Shira has some growing up to do and some realignment to do regarding who is number one in her life.

You are not wrong to be feeling slighted. As Shira’s husband, you should hold the number 1 slot. That is what a good marriage is all about.

Expressing this to her, however, may not be easy. Shira is already programmed to behave in a certain way and changing behaviors is never easy.

I suggest that you and Shira work with a couple therapist who can talk about the rules of engagement that is typical for a healthy marriage.

Coming from you, without the support of a professional, may come off sounding controlling and judgmental, and that’s the last thing Shira needs to feel. It will send her running right back to her parents for validation. But if you deal with this issue in the safety of a professional’s office, it will sound safe and helpful.

Marriage is all about learning how to be one’s best self. It takes time and work. Hopefully, Shira will be willing to put in both the time and the work, and together you will

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

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azel tov on your newish marriage and thanks for writing in! Sometimes we know something feels wrong but we bury our heads in the sand, hoping for a new outcome or reality the next time we come up for air. While this strategy keeps the peace in the short term, it can be a recipe for disaster long-term. Kudos to you for recognizing there is an issue in your marriage, acknowledging it, and reaching out for help.

Hopefully, you are already on your way to a closer, more intimate relationship with Shira.

Generally speaking, in healthy

marriages there is a pecking order.

1. Spouse 2. Children 3. Parents This list does not mean we love one more person more than another. G-d forbid, and quite the opposite. It means that in order to love each person on this list to the best of our abilities, we must prioritize our loved ones in this order. Now, of course, if your child is performing in a play and your husband has a cold, you leave your husband at home and go see your child’s performance.

forge ahead in the best way possible.

The Single

Learning how to set boundaries around your relationship is the “work” of marriage.

Tova Wein

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totally understand where you’re coming from and think you have every right to feel that you are being undermined by Shira’s relationship with her parents. I’m sure the dynamic between her and her parents is complicated and not the healthiest in terms of normal boundaries – especially now that she is married to you.

I’m wondering how well the two of you communicate in general. Are you both able to talk about what bothers you, in a mature way, without either of your feeling defensive?

If that’s the case, then this should be a conversation that the two of you can have with good results. It’s p o s s i b l e that Shira doesn’t even

realize that you expect to be her first call when she has something important to share. Sometimes, we just assume we know that the other person is thinking and are far from the truth. Hopefully, hearing from you how it feels to be her second or third phone call is news to her and something she can work on, knowing that it causes you distress.

If Shira reacts dismissively, as if your feelings aren’t relevant and important, then you’ll probably have to bring in the professionals! But hopefully, as with so many other issues that come up during the first year or so of marriage, this reality will be something that Shira can appreciate and respect and work on.

(Sorry Hubs, I’ll leave you some Kleenex and Ricola on the night table). Or, if G-d forbid your mother falls or your father needs you to help him put up his sukkah, you are there and your spouse will understand.

Children benefit from putting your spouse first because they feel most secure and well-adjusted when Mom and Dad are actively loving and warm with each other. And your parents benefit from being the third priority (or in your case, the second) because parents want what is best for their children. And healthy, evolved parents want their married children to make their spouses numero uno because they know when the spouse is not numero uno it will cause tension in

their marriages. And when there is tension in the marriage, their child is not happy. So, generally speaking, this pecking order should work for everyone. (However, there are those spouses and parents of said spouses who missed the memo and for reasons unique to each family system, maintain the belief that the nuclear family of origin is the main priority and the spouse comes second.)

Let’s do a little reality check.

It’s not as if Shira duped you. She was spending this kind of “intense” time with her parents before you got married. The wool wasn’t pulled over your eyes, nor did she pull a switcheroo. What you once found endearing is now frustrating and causing you to feel angry.

Learning how to set boundaries around your relationship is the “work” of marriage. For some couples it comes naturally, and others have to work at it, i.e. how much time do we spend together? How much time do we spend apart? How

type of guy who would do that, but just in case others are reading this … we can’t tell a spouse what to do.

That usually backfires. Rather, you are going to approach her with a lot of “I messages,” telling her how you feel, instead of telling her what she is doing wrong.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: “You spend way too much time talking on the phone with your parents. I’m finding myself really angry. I even wrote into this therapist in a newspaper and she agreed with me, saying you should put me before your parents.”

SAY SOMETHING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF: “I’m crazy about you and you know I love your family. I also love and respect the close relationship you have with your parents. I just feel like you go to your mom before you come to me, about small things and important things … and it makes me feel uncertain about your feelings for me.

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I wanted to tell you this because I love you and I don’t want to hold anything back from you. I also want to work on this together, so we can take both of our needs into account.”

If Shira has a great reaction – you’re golden. You can collaborate and compromise and come up with a plan that works for both of you. If she outright disagrees, or you find that you cannot compromise, it is then that you should see a couple’s therapist to help you navigate the touchy subject matters of her family and the lack of boundaries built around your marriage. Remember, you married a woman who always prioritized her family, so be prepared for some pushback. You and Shira come from two different worlds with regard to your relationships with parents. It can take some time for couples to fully emerge from their “old worlds” and create a new one, together. Hopefully this

is nothing more than a little shana rishona misunderstanding. It happens all the time. These things can always be worked out with two willing parties.

All the best, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779.

Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

EX G CL RE U AT SI VE W E Q DD UA IN LI G TY G FA IFT BR !

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much time do we spend with parents? With friends? How much do we share with our parents? How can we both get our needs met, honoring our marriage and honoring our healthy need to spend time apart?

We teach people how to treat us.

You never put the message out there that you’d like to feel like more of a priority to Shira. For all she knows, this arrangement is working beautifully. She found a man who understands the importance of her family.

She can’t fix what she doesn’t yet know about.

What to do about this situation?

You wrote that you don’t want her to see you as childish. I want to validate how “unchildish” your feelings are. I think you do need to talk with her (unless you are satisfied with the status quo). And I think it can be done tastefully and lovingly. You aren’t going to throw orders around… you don’t strike me as the

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Dr. Deb

Top 5 Tips for Handling Rejection Like Strong People Do

By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

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ou just got rejected.

I promise this will have a good ending.

But first, you have to take some very specific steps. Whether your own mother rejected you, your son, your boss, your boyfriend, your spouse of 20 years, rejection really stings.

It’s one of those awful experiences that breaks you down – and then if you handle it right – builds you up better than before.

Here are 5 tips, let’s call them attitudes, that will make all the difference in the world.

1. DON’T BE NEEDY The person who rejected you meant a lot to you. And that makes you vulnerable: the very fact that your feelings are in this other person’s hands, gives them a lot of power over you. Are you quite sure you want to have – even in your own mind – such a skewed relationship?

Do you want your self-esteem to be at their mercy?

I didn’t think so.

So the first step here is to turn your thoughts off of this person, whoever it is, and towards embracing yourself. You’ve got to appreciate, value, and esteem yourself.

I know, I know. You’re saying, “But this is the wrong moment for that! I feel weak, not strong. I’ve been crushed by this other person’s rejection!”

Yes, I understand. But that is why self-love is needed right now. Because you cannot be crushed. And to get your head off of what harm has been done to your heart, your soul, or your ego (depending on who rejected you), start to focus on what is good about you.

What do other people say about you that shows you are a valuable asset to the family, the company, the community, and the human race?

What kinds of positive feedback have you received?

Write these things down so you have a clear picture of your strengths and assets as other people see them.

This list is the beginning of your antidote to neediness.

Because the reality is that you do not “need” this person who rejected you, no matter who it is.

Next, build on those strengths on your list. Consider the direction your life is going in, and ask yourself how you can enhance it. For example, I love doing therapy and want to reach more people than one therapist can, so I created a course. I’m excited about that!

Note that your ideas to expand yourself don’t have to have any relation to who and why you were rejected. You could decide to take up a new hobby or volunteer somewhere, travel, change jobs, or move. The point is you can make a decision that you want to take steps to enhance the direction of your life.

2. BE DAN L’CHAF ZCHUS Don’t get angry at the person for rejecting you; that is the wrong approach. Let’s look at it logically: either it happened because the person had a good reason or they didn’t. If they had a good reason, then there’s nothing to be angry about.

If they didn’t even have a good reason, then you are clearly better off without someone in your life who rejected you without having a good reason. This is not someone to waste your energy being angry at.

What you should be feeling toward someone like that is pity that they do not have the wisdom to judge you correctly.

There is also a third possibility which is that you have no idea why they rejected you so you don’t know if it was a good reason or not. This is the one most people are stuck with; they generally don’t find out why they were rejected.

That’s where being dan l’chaf zchus comes in. Assume that in their mind they had a good reason.

That does not mean there is something wrong with you. Let’s take an example. Someone decides she will only date boys from New York; she wouldn’t dream of leaving this beautiful city. If you don’t happen to be from New York then for her it was a good reason, but there is still nothing wrong with you.

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

Or let’s say your poem was not accepted by the magazine you submitted it to. Well, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a beautiful, meaningful poem; it simply did not speak to the editor; it was not a match.

The interesting thing is that by assuming the best of the other person, it elevates you. In this poem example, if you tell yourself that the editor was stupid or some other sort of putdown, you clearly look like a person with a bad case of sour grapes. But if you tell yourself that he had his reasons and you’re sure they’re good – it just must not have been a good fit – then you retain your dignity. In that case, you seem gracious and self-confident. Isn’t that a better place to be?

3. ACCEPT REALITY There can’t be wishful thinking.

You can’t assume that the dirty look you received did not occur. You can’t tell yourself that someone who is clearly lying about something isn’t.

As much as it is important to be dan l’chaf zchus, you still have to be realistic. If someone was pointedly mean, lying, or cheating, it does no good for you to make endless excuses for them. Since their objective, clearly, is to send you a message of rejection, then by denying that you’re reading that message, they will simply send it louder and louder.

In the heartbreaking movie of an inner city child called Precious, the girl is rejected by her mother and mistreated by her father (in spite of the name they gave her). She fantasizes her mother speaking lovingly to her even as she abuses her. Her wishful thinking is understandable, but only when she comes to the sad conclusion that this is not reality does she take steps to change her life

4. BE PLEASANT TO THE REJECTER UNLESS THEY ABUSED YOU There is nothing gained by being mean or confrontational to someone who rejected you. You may as well be civil and gracious. Here’s a crazy personal story: Many years ago, a woman where I used to live wouldn’t talk to me for two years. I had absolutely no idea why. Following my tips here, I focused on making my own life as good as I could, and I assumed that

she had troubles of her own which in some mysterious way got taken out on me.

For two years, I was in the awkward position of needing her services at some points and smiling pleasantly while saying, “Hello, how are you?” without getting a response. One day,

(Tell me, was my opening punchy enough this time?)

I was very happy with the critique. And that is why I promised at the beginning of this article that your experience – not just mine – will end well. When we learn and grow, it’s good. That, I believe, is what we’re

You’ve got to appreciate, value, and esteem yourself.

all that changed. She became friendly and even invited me to a personal simcha. To this day, I do not know why all this happened and why it changed.

Certainly, if the rejection happened at work, it pays to remain cordial with the person. Even if you are leaving, it might be in their interest to write you a favorable reference – if you remain pleasant.

In the case of abuse, the rule changes. It is best to stay away from abusers.

5. BE OPEN TO FEEDBACK Although it is rare to learn why someone rejected you, it could happen. Be open to it. The feedback may exonerate you or it may help you grow. Either is good, however painful or unpleasant the latter one is.

I just took a course on blog-writing. I’ve maintained a blog since before there were blogs. I used to retype articles into html and upload them to my website. But I wanted to see if I could improve. Well, internet courses require a thick skin. With so many millions of articles floating around the internet, to be noticed, you have to be quite good.

Sure enough, the instructor slammed me in all kinds of ways: My heading didn’t have key words, my introduction wasn’t “punchy” enough and it didn’t “hit” people “hard” enough, the font size of the subheads was too small, and so forth.

Whoa. Time to catch my breath. But frankly, I was thrilled. Now, I had some pointers for making my articles even better.

here for.

We’ve looked at 5 tips to handle rejection no matter who is the one that rejected us. It could be a muchloved family member, a friend, a colleague. But the relationship is not what’s important, it’s how you handle the rejection that has the power to transform the relationship and even your life.

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First, don’t be needy. Love yourself, and collect the positive feedback of others to balance out this negative experience. Start on new activities to brighten your life and focus your attention on these positives.

Second, be dan l’chaf zchus for the person who rejected you. Maybe he didn’t mean it or maybe he did but never intended to be hurtful. Third, in spite of all that, you do have to accept reality. You can’t be in denial about her true intentions if the messages are clear. So fourth, accept it graciously; be pleasant (unless they were abusive).

Fifth and finally, be open to the feedback you might receive; it can change your life in a very desirable way..

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. She can be reached at 646-54-DRDEB or by writing drdeb@ drdeb.com.

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Health & F tness

Can Exercise Push Up Your Weight?

By Aliza Beer MS, RD

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xercise has traditionally been a trusted complement to dieting. The theory is that a person can lose weight by eating better as well as by burning off existing fat through an exercise or fitness program. However, research suggests that it is not entirely this simple. It is possible, and very common, for those who embark on fitness programs to gain weight. Current research provides many possible factors that may explain why exercise can mask, or even counter, weight loss.

The classical explanation is one that draws a distinction between muscle and fat. With a proper exercise program, one can gain muscle at a rate greater than the loss of fat.

Even if the rate is not greater, any muscle gain may mask true weight loss from fat on the scale. Many fitness instructors say that someone who has just begun a fitness program can expect to initially gain around two pounds per month.

Gaining weight on the scale does not necessarily mean that you are gaining fat.

One other important factor to look into is the temporary inflammation that is the result of the small tears in muscle fibers. These are called micro-trauma, and it is one of the reasons why people feel sore after working out. These tears then heal, which makes the fibers stronger than before. Inflammation is a key component of this process, which consists of inflamma-

tory mediators becoming present in the area, causing swelling and inflammation. The extra fluids required for this inflammation may appear on the scale. This weight gain should be temporary, especially with adequate rest and recovery from workouts that allow the body to heal itself.

Ghrelin is one of the hormones released by exercising that promotes hunger. Studies show that if people start a new fitness routine, their bodies produce more of these hormones than someone who is already accustomed to a particular exercise program. Even if you

one of the worst times to give up on healthy eating behavior because food eaten towards the very end of your day is more likely to stick and not be utilized by the body than food eaten earlier on which can be burned off. Research has also shown that sleep deprivation can affect these hormone levels and increase hunger. Giving your body enough time to rest and recover from your workouts is very important.

Water can be another source of slight weight gain. Working out can make the body try to retain more water – between two and four

Burning fat while strengthening muscle paves the way for a healthier and active lifestyle.

follow a proper fitness routine, an increased amount of calories consumed or poor food choices will cause weight gain. If you follow a proper diet while exercising, you can limit the harm that ghrelin can do and maintain healthy eating habits despite the increased hunger.

People who try to diet and exercise may end up eating much more at dinnertime when they are hungrier due to more physical activity performed during the day. This is

pounds extra to prevent dehydration. Some suggest that by drinking extra water, this may help with weight loss and can also assure the body that it doesn’t have to retain as much. Drinking water also helps to partially suppress the appetite, which is important for dieting.

Keeping the body hydrated is a key component of healthy living, dieting, and exercising.

Many studies have isolated various factors that indicate weight gain

as a result from exercise. However, research has also shown that exercise,, combined with proper eating habits and dieting is a great combination for pursuing weight loss.

Burning fat while strengthening muscle paves the way for a healthier and active lifestyle. Exercise is crucial to weight loss maintenance because it allows one to treat themselves occasionally without gaining weight. Regular exercise can reduce around two dozen physical and mental health conditions and can slow down the speed at which the body ages, according to a research review summarizing the key findings of 40 papers published between 2006 and 2010. Health conditions helped include cancer, heart disease, dementia, stroke, type II diabetes, depression, obesity, and high blood pressure.

Don’t let potential weight gain deter you from being active and in good shape. It is the perfect time of the year to start being more active and healthy and incorporating some kind of physical activity into your daily life. Even simply walking every day for at least half an hour will have a positive impact on your health, no matter what the scale is saying.

Aliza Beer is a registered dietician with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

June

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POOL DATE thru S: Aug 27th* *8 / No W 24 and 8/ omen ’s Sw 27 im 25th

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JULY 13, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Madraigos

Love, Acceptance, and Effective Parenting Speaking with a Parenting Expert

By Eli Perlman, LCSW, Clinical Director of Madraigos

T

hursday morning in early May there was a slight breeze in front of The Coffee Bar as Brad stepped out of an Uber. After a brief welcome to New York, we sat down to discuss one of my favorite topics: parenting.

Brad Reedy, who lives in Utah, is renowned for his book on parenting called, The Journey of The Heroic Parent. The book is a fantastic guide for helping parents strengthen their relationships with children while effectively parenting them. Between the lines, there is a palpable sense of an added wisdom that Brad has obtained through his life experiences.

We spoke about many topics, and I was struck by Brad’s unique ability to simplify sophisticated psychological ideas so that even the most “un-psychological” person can apply his ideas into daily life.

Over the years, Brad has taught many religious Jews effective parenting skills. He developed an apprecia-

tion and understanding of the Jewish religious community, primarily in New York.

After speaking to Brad about parenting and learning of his fondness for the Jewish community, I was inspired to share Brad with our community as well. So last week, I conducted an interview with Brad to share with you. Here goes.

Brad, thank you for agreeing to do this interview with us today.

What set you on this journey and inspired you to become a parenting expert?

It started with my own struggles as a child. Those experiences led me to want to work with young people.

Eventually, I found myself working in a wilderness therapy program with children struggling with mental health and substance abuse issues. I began to see that helping, supporting and educating parents had a profound impact on the outcome of the chil-

dren. I also found that many people in the treatment field spoke about and to parents with derision and shame.

I saw parents in their pain and wanted to offer a more compassionate approach. I observed how parents watched their children struggle, feeling powerless, and I wanted to spend my life supporting them.

project. I seek to replace anger and fear with curiosity. I try to separate communicating my feelings from behavior modification. I see the value in struggles and mistakes rather than only in the successes.

Most importantly, I work at it. I make mistakes, say I am sorry and try to do better the next day.

In your parenting, what are the practices you share in common with your parents?

Well, I share both positive and negative aspects. I struggle with patience. I am triggered to anger and frustration. I have significant anxiety when I see my child struggling. I have used guilting, shaming and tried to control outcomes with my children.

And really, it is these struggles that have led me to seek for answers in parenting.

On the positive side, I have learned to make my life my project rather than making my child’s life my

I appreciate your honesty and accountability in your parenting. Are there practices that your parents used when you were growing up that you kept away from when you became a parent?

The first decision I made when my children were young was to not use spanking as a method of discipline.

Second, I tried to avoid using guilt to modify behavior. Instead, I sought to understand my children and their acting out behaviors and tried to figure out what these behaviors might be trying to tell me. And mostly, I want

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

to “see” and “hear” my children and value them more than them fitting into my idea of what a child should be.

You wrote a fantastic book named, The Journey of the Heroic Parent. What is a heroic parent? How does one know if he or she is a heroic parent?

Actually, the following quote from Gandhi illustrates this better than I can. He says, “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love – it is the prerogative of the brave.” Projection, fusion, “going home” is easy; loving another’s otherness is heroic. If we really love the other, as other, we have heroically taken on the responsibility of our own journey. This heroism may properly be called love.

Heroic parenting means you have the courage to look at yourself, your wounds, your contributions to the issues, your part of the “dance” and you are willing to grow.

In your book, among other ages, you speak about parenting teenagers. Are there different parenting skills needed to parent an “average” teenager versus skills needed to parent a “difficult” teenager?

The skills and concepts are virtually the same. Parenting is about capacity. That is, it takes great emotional and psychological capacity. The difficult part of parenting is the emotional energy that it requires. Essentially, the skills and concepts are the same, but children who struggle require more capacity, more energy on a parent’s part to maintain a compassionate, patient and curious stance.

So, parents of children who struggle do need more resources and support, but in the end, the skills are the same for all children.

You have been working with the Jewish religious community teaching parenting skills.

Can you tell us your experience with this population with regard to parenting?

I have found them to be open and hungry to find ways to be more effective. My experience has shown me how much the community loves family and children and that love is fueling their desire and willingness to

seek for more help. Many in the community talk about the stigma and the feelings of isolation, believing that they are alone. But, by the time I meet them and they are seeking help, they realize they are not alone and that

support and growth provides, they will make the time. Parents often say they wished they’d heard the message earlier. After participation, they often talk about how every aspect of their life is improved. The outcome of

“I want to ‘see’ and ‘hear’ my children and value them more than them fitting into my idea of what a child should be.”

parent education enhances their entire life, including their spiritual life.

Speaking of religion, do you think parents connected to any religion have a different relationship with parenting than parents who are not connected to religion?

I think parents connected to some religions struggle because of shame and guilt. They are often devoted and believe that their struggle may be an indictment on their spirituality.

Sometimes, this feeling leads them to want to hide or even ignore the problem. But when they get desperate and seek help, they realize they are not alone and that usually improves their relationship to religion.

Parents are often busy with work, responsibilities in the home, social engagements and, of course, their relationships with their spouses. Do you have any advice for these busy parents who struggle with finding time to properly parent their children?

More than advice, I would simply invite them to give it a try. Resistance to participate in a growing process is usually communicated in this way – with reasons of not having time, etc.

If they really need it, and it will benefit them and their children, they will make the time. So, responding to this is more of a discussion. I would listen to their concerns and resistance and help them overcome any anxieties or reluctance. If they get a taste of the sweetness that parent education

healthier parenting is joy, clarity, and liberation. Healthy parenting is its own reward.

* * * Over the past year, Madraigos has been providing educational and transformational parenting groups

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for parents of teens and young adults.

Brad and his book, The Journey of the Heroic Paren,t have provided invaluable tools and attitudes about parenting. Many of these tools have been incorporated into our parenting groups. Stay tuned for a Madraigos event featuring Brad sharing his expertise and experience in parenting with our community. To find out more about our parenting groups and upcoming parenting events, contact Eli Perlman, clinical director at Madraigos, at 516-371-3250 ext. 111 or email to eperlman@madraigos.org.

Madraigos, a 501c-3 not-for-profit organization, offers a wide array of innovative services and programs geared towards helping teens and young adults overcome life’s everyday challenges one step at a time. Our goal is to provide all of our members with the necessary tools and skills to empower them to live a healthy lifestyle and become the leaders of tomorrow.

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In The K

tchen

Chicken Wonton with Thai Dipping Sauce

By Naomi Nachman

I love appetizers. When eating out at restaurants, I wish that I could order all the appetizers instead an entrée so that I can get a wider variety of dishes.

Given my love for this course, I always try to come up with new ideas for Friday night dinners for hot, tasty appetizers to share with my guests.

Ingredients For the wontons 1 pound chicken, minced 2 scallions, finely chopped 2 TBS sweet chili sauce 1½ tsp sesame oil 3 TBS cilantro, chopped (optional) 2 tsp lime zest, grated Packet wonton wrappers Canola oil for frying

For the dressing ½ cup soy sauce 1 TBS peanut oil 2 TBS palm or brown sugar 1 TBS lime juice Chopped cilantro, garnish (optional) Chili peppers, to garnish (optional)

Preparation Put the minced chicken and other ingredients – not the wonton wrappers!

– in a bowl and mix well. Place a tablespoon of mixture in the center of a wonton and brush edges with water. Place another wrapper on top and press down and seal the edges.

Pan fry each wonton in ½-inch canola oil for a few minutes on each side till golden brown and the chicken is cooked though. Drain on paper towel.

Prepare the dressing: Mix the soy sauce, sugar, peanut oil and lime juice in a bowl. Pour over the wontons and garnish with chilies and cilantro, if desired.

Cook’s note: these wontons can also be boiled and using as kreplach.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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Good Hum r

Fine Wine

By Jon Kranz

S

ome Jews like to whine but others like to “wine,” that is, to responsibly consume appropriate amounts of alcohol in the form of grape-derived goodness. On Shabbat, Jews drink wine to make kiddush and havdalah. On Passover, Jews drink at least four cups of wine and even dip their fingers in one of them. At weddings, Jews drink wine under the chuppah for ritualistic reasons (and perhaps if someone is getting cold feet).

So, we know that drinking wine is a part of certain Jewish rituals and customs but the question is: what are the factors that should be considered to help Jews appropriately and responsibly consume wine?

Wine drinking is particularly prevalent on Purim, a holiday on which Jews actually are supposed to drink until they can no longer tell the difference between the hero and the villain. See, Talmud, Megillah (7b) “A person is obligated to drink on Purim until he does not know the difference between ‘cursed be Haman’ and ‘blessed be Mordechai.’”

Of course, this is not the only litmus tests for sobriety vs. inebriation. For the record, you have overloaded on libations if you can no longer tell the difference between: (i) a matzah ball and a soccer ball, (ii) a hotdog and a hot dog, (iii) Levi’s Jeans and a Levi’s genes or (iv) Colombia the country, Columbia the university, and Columbia the outdoor apparel company. In other words, you are overly tipsy

if you think Kathmandu is a place where adult males dress and act like felines, or if you think that Bangkok is a place where drummers play percussion using fowl.

It is important to recognize that Judaism and alcohol consumption are not synonymous, and one certainly does not automatically lead to the other. This also is true of other

will hear you coming from a mile away. You should not mix firecrackers with animal crackers, not even if your child is born on the Fourth of July. You should not mix cookies stored on computers with cookies stored in your pantry (and you absolutely should not puree your iPhone or iPad in an attempt to make “Apple” sauce).

Hora Beer – when you are in a discussion that is going around in circles

aspects of Jewish life. For instance, if you swing a live chicken over your head before Yom Kippur (as some Jews do), it does not automatically mean that you dislike animals. It does mean, however, that the dizzy chicken will not be terribly fond of you.

Let’s make another thing perfectly clear: in Judaism, as in secular life, drinking and driving do not mix. Drinking also does not mix well with all sorts of other activities, like drinking and hair-cutting, drinking and tightrope walking, or drinking and open heart surgery. Of course, there are many other things in life that should not be mixed. You should not mix wiretapping and tap dancing because those you are spying on

The Talmud, in Pesachim 109a, states that wine should be (responsibly) consumed to help increase holiday happiness: “A person is obligated to gladden his children and the members of his household on a Festival, as it is stated: And you shall rejoice on your Festival . . . With what should one make them rejoice?

With wine.” While wine may help some people rejoice, there are other things that do not put people in the mood to rejoice, including colicky infants, visiting day traffic, anti-climactic stories with no real payoff, unflattering parent-teacher conferences, cholent shortages, higher taxes, lice, and “The Godfather - Part III.” The Talmud, when describing rit-

ualistic consumption of alcohol, does not specifically refer to beer. That said, when you stop and think about it, there are many “untapped” names for Jewish-brewed beers. Here are some potential names for Jewish beers and corresponding slogans: Exodus Beer – when you really need to leave Hora Beer – when you are in a discussion that is going around in circles Gefilte Beer – when something fishy is going on Dreidel Beer – non-alcoholic beer for when you want to take your car out for a spin Noah’s Ark Beer – when you’re super thirsty and start drinking two by two Kotel Beer – when you’re exhausted and have totally hit a wall Matzah Beer – when you’re feeling flat Klutz Beer – when you need to drop what you’re doing Kippah Beer - when you need to blow your lid Hamantashen Beer – when you need to triangulate your position Havdalah Beer – when you’re initially angry and “incense”d, but then you see the light and wish everyone a good week.

Bottom line: L’Chaim!

Jon Kranz is an attorney living in Englewood, New Jersey. Send any comments, questions or insults to jkranz285@ gmail.com.

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JULY 13, 2017 | The|Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

Try to come in earlier — or later if your job allows it.

-New York MTA Chairman Joe Lhota’s very simple solution to thousands of New Yorkers who are concerned about the crazy commute expected from the summer repairs to the New York City transit system

Sorry … I have a very urgent … sorry, Mr. Chairman … it’s my plumber in my apartment in Paris. There is a huge problem in my toilet, and it’s more important than the decision you just adopted, thank you.

Even if I will have to leave my position, I will not compromise on the salary (rawatib) of a Martyr (Shahid) or a prisoner, as I am the president of the entire Palestinian people, including the prisoners, the Martyrs, the injured, the expelled, and the uprooted.

-Carmel Shama-Hacohen, Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations Education, Scientific and Cultural Organization, addressing the forum after they adopted a resolution that essentially lists Ma’aras Hamachpeila as a holy Muslim site which is occupied by Israel

As an afterthought, I probably brought dishonor to my toilet by comparing it to this decision.

- Ibid., after his speech

- Palestinian Authority chairman Mahmoud Abbas, pledging to keep on supporting terrorists, on Facebook

When something happens once, it’s a curiosity.

Twice, it’s a coincidence. Three times or more, it’s a pattern. And Donald Trump has established a pattern of offending — or at the very least ignoring — Jews.

The most recent example was just last week, when he declined to pay his respects at a Holocaust memorial in Warsaw that other American presidents routinely visited.

I’m worried about moose, not missiles. Bears, not bombs.

- Anchorage Mayor Ethan Berkowitz dismissing the threat that Alaska can be reached by a North Korean bomb

I love to eat.

- Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, who once again won Nathan’s July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest and beat his own record, eating 72 hot dogs in 10 minutes

– Frank Bruni, in a New York Times op-ed, neglecting to mention that President Trump, whose daughter and grandchildren are Jewish, was the first sitting president to visit the Kotel

MORE QUOTES

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Dear Mr. Modi, I love you and your people in India. I hope I will be able to visit Mumbai, and when I get older, live there. I will be the director of our Chabad House. With G-d’s help, this is my answer.

- 11-year-old Moshe Holtzberg, son of Rabbi Gavriel and Rivka Holtzberg, Hy”d, who were killed by radical Muslims in 2008, upon meeting Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi in Israel

It was very exciting to meet the prime ministers. I was very nervous – it’s prime ministers.

- Sandra Samuel, the nanny who saved Moshe and went with him to Israel, talking about the meeting with Modi to Israel’s Channel 2

When he becomes 18 I will go back to my country, so I have many years still to be with him - Ibid.

Trump argued that Western (read: white) nations are “the fastest and the greatest community” and the “world has never known anything like our community of nations.”

He crowed about how Westerners (read: white people) “write symphonies,” “pursue innovation” and “always seek to explore and discover brand-new frontiers,” as if these were unique qualities to white-dominated nations, instead of universal truths of the human race across all cultures.

– Amanda Marcotte of alt-left website Salon.com, writing that President Trump’s pro-Western values speech in Poland was really a call to “white nationalism”

s

On the one hand you want to demonstrate generosity and take in refugees. But the more generous you are, the more word gets around about this which in turn motivates more people to leave Africa. Germany cannot possibly take in the huge number of people who are wanting to make their way to Europe.

- Bill Gates – who in the past has been a strong advocate for open borders in Europe – in an interview with a German newspaper last week

According to new research, a press-on patch for the flu vaccine works just as well as the flu shot. You just remove the adhesive backing and place it firmly over your co-worker’s mouth.

– Seyth Myer

A woman gave birth to a baby on a recent Spirit Airlines flight. When the flight attendant said, “Is there a doctor on board?” the passengers said, “Of course not. This is Spirit Airlines.”

- Jimmy Fallon

For the fourth time, a small town in Kentucky has elected a dog as its mayor. People were so excited; at the victory party, they kept chanting, “28 more years! 28 more years!”

– Jimmy Fallon

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The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

Which one of these children needs Chai Lifeline?

(Hint: They all do.)

Chai Lifeline is renowned for the care and love it bestows on children fighting cancer. But that’s only the beginning.

Chai Lifeline serves thousands of children with medical challenges that aren’t evident on the outside, everything from Crohns Disease to cystic fibrosis to heart disease and illnesses so rare only a handful of children have been diagnosed. And still, that’s only the beginning.

Chai Lifeline includes siblings and parents, too, with programs geared towards the entire family.

We care for more than 5,000 children and their families around the world and across the street.

Chances are, you know them. They just don’t look sick.

Whenever, wherever we’re needed, Chai Lifeline is there.

Chai Lifeline. Comprehensive, compassionate, professional assistance for families facing illness, loss or trauma.

151 West 30th Street, New York, NY 10001 I (877) CHAI-LIFE I (212) 465-1300 I www.chailifeline.org

Regional Offices: Greater New York I Southeast I West Coast I Midwest I Mid-Atlantic I New Jersey I Canada I England I Israel I Belgium Hospital Support: Meals | Transportation Assistance | Hospital Visits | Respite Children’s Programs: Arts and Recreational Activities | After-school programs | Sibling Programs | Educational Assistance in Limudei Kodesh Counseling for patients and siblings | Camp Simcha/Camp Simcha Special Family Programs: Advocacy and Information | Retreats | Insurance Advocacy | Family Recreation | Family Counseling | Bereavement Services Community Programs: Project CHAI, support for schools, camps, and communities facing crisis or trauma.

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The Dearborn Police Department is asking for the public’s assistance in identifying the suspect responsible for this crime as it is suspected he will continue committing this type of crime as 12-14 months of consistent use is needed to see results.

- Facebook post by the Dearborn Police Department to help catch a shoplifter who stole Rogaine, a hair-growth product from a Walgreens

While this is not the most hairraising crime, we must protect our retailers as these crimes drive up the retail costs for honest consumers.

If she weren’t my daughter it would be so much easier for her. That might be the only bad thing she has going, if you want to know the truth.

- President Trump talking about his daughter, Ivanka, in Germany

- Dearborn Police Department Police Chief Ronald Haddad

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We’ve kicked off a court process to have it listed as unclaimed cash – but if you reckon this cash is yours, we’d be very keen to speak with you. And by speak with you, we definitely mean to ask where you got a suitcase full of cash from. We have a sneaking suspicion this isn’t your average pay pack.

– Facebook post by the Australian Federal Police (AFP), asking if anyone is the owner of a lost suitcase which was recently found filled with $1.6 million in cash

I’m afraid that there are very dangerous alliances between powers who have a distorted view of the world: America and Russia, China and North Korea, Putin and Assad in the war in Syria.

- Pope Francis espousing anti-American rhetoric in a recent interview

This is very, very sad because none of us had any idea this lecture was preaching hatred.

- Imam FM’s chief executive Mohammad Mughal in an interview with the Daily Mail after his London-based radio station Imam FM had its license suspended after broadcasting 25 hours of sermons “encouraging and condoning” violence against non-Muslims

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Political Crossfire

North Korea: The Rubicon is Crossed

By Charles Krauthammer

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cross 25 years and five administrations, we have kicked the North Korean can down the road. We are now out of road.

On July 4, North Korea tested an intercontinental ballistic missile apparently capable of hitting the United States. As yet, only Alaska. Soon, every American city.

Moreover, Pyongyang claims to have already fitted miniaturized nuclear warheads on intermediate range missiles. Soon, on ICBMs. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s initial reaction to this game changer was not encouraging. “Global action is required to stop a global threat,” he declared.

This, in diplo-speak, is a cry for (multilateral) help. Alas, there will be none. Because, while this is indeed a global threat, there is no such thing as global interests. There are individual national interests and they diverge.

In this case, radically.

Take Russia and China. If there’s to be external pressure on North Korea, it would come from them. Will it?

On Tuesday, they issued a joint statement proposing a deal: North Korea freezes nuclear and missile testing in return for America abandoning large-scale joint exercises with South Korea.

This is a total nonstarter. The exercises have been the backbone of the U.S.-South Korea alliance for half a century. Abandonment would signal the end of an enduring relationship that stabilizes the region and guarantees South Korean independence. In

exchange for what?

A testing freeze? The offer doesn’t even pretend to dismantle North Korea’s nuclear program, which has to be our minimal objective. Moreover, we’ve negotiated multiple freezes over the years with Pyongyang. It has violated every one.

The fact that Russia and China would, amid a burning crisis, propose such a dead-on-arrival proposal demonstrates that their real interest is not denuclearization. Their real interest is cutting America down to size

forcing him to acknowledge that the Chinese haven’t been helping.

Indeed not. The latest North Korean missile is menacing not just because of its 4,000-mile range, but because it is road mobile. And the transporter comes from China.

In the calculus of nuclear deterrence, mobility guarantees inviolability. (The enemy cannot find, and therefore cannot pre-empt, a mobile missile.) It’s a huge step forward for Pyongyang. Supplied by Beijing.

How many times must we be

How many times must we be taught that Beijing does not share our view of denuclearizing North Korea?

by breaking our South Korean alliance and weakening our influence in the Pacific Rim. These are going to be our partners in solving the crisis?

And yet, relying on China’s good graces appeared to be Donald Trump’s first resort for solving North Korea. Until he declared two weeks ago (by tweet, of course) that China had failed. “At least I know China tried!” he added.

They did? Trump himself tweeted out on Wednesday that Chinese trade with North Korea increased by almost 40 percent in the first quarter,

taught that Beijing does not share our view of denuclearizing North Korea?

It prefers a divided peninsula, i.e., sustaining its client state as a guarantee against a unified Korea (possibly nuclear) allied with the West and sitting on its border.

Nukes assure regime survival.

That’s why the Kims have so single-mindedly pursued them. The lessons are clear. Saddam Hussein, no nukes: hanged. Moammar Gadhafi, gave up his nuclear program: killed by his own people. The Kim dynasty, possessing an arsenal of 10-16 bombs: untouched, soon untouchable.

What are our choices? Trump has threatened that if China doesn’t help we’ll have to go it alone. If so, the choice is binary: acquiescence or war.

War is almost unthinkable, given the proximity of the Demilitarized Zone to the 10 million people of Seoul. A mere conventional war would be devastating. And could rapidly go nuclear.

Acquiescence is not unthinkable.

After all, we did it when China went nuclear under Mao Zedong, whose regime promptly went insane under the Cultural Revolution.

The hope for a third alternative, getting China to do the dirty work, is mostly wishful thinking. There’s talk of sanctioning other Chinese banks.

Will that really change China’s strategic thinking? Bourgeois democracies believe that economics supersedes geostrategy. Maybe for us. But for dictatorships? Rarely.

If we want to decisively alter the strategic balance, we could return U.S. tactical nukes (withdrawn in 1991) to South Korea. Or we could encourage Japan to build a nuclear deterrent of its own. Nothing would get more quick attention from the Chinese. They would face a radically new strategic dilemma: Is preserving North Korea worth a nuclear Japan?

We do have powerful alternatives.

But each is dangerous and highly unpredictable. Which is why the most likely ultimate outcome, by far, is acquiescence. (c) 2017, The Washington Post Writers Group

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Forgotten Her es

The Dyer Family: A Jewish Family of Heroes

By Avi Heiligman

Rosanna Dyer Osterman

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n the first century of the birth of the United States the country was constantly fighting wars. Two wars with Great Britain, two with Mexico (that’s if you are counting the Texas Revolution of 1836), the Civil War and the constant battles with the Native Americans had the Americans constantly looking for soldiers. America was also known for her immigrants, and many of these newcomers joined the armed forces. One of the immigrant families came from Germany and became quite prominent in American society. The Dyers were a Jewish family in which the three siblings all joined in on war efforts – even the sister.

Philip Maximillian Dyer came to the U.S. from Dessau, Germany, in 1812 with his family. Together with his wife they opened a beef packing plant in Baltimore.

Dyer and his family, which included two sons and a daughter, were a religious Jewish family that had switched their name from Heim.

The oldest boy was Leon who had a distinguished career with the military through three campaigns.

His brother, Isadore, also served in the military. Rosanna Dyer Osterman was the middle child, who was known for her charitable work and became a nurse in the Civil War. They were very involved in the community and helped start the Baltimore Hebrew Congregation (it was an Orthodox shul for the first few decades of its existence).

Leon Dyer was born in 1807 and was five when his family moved to Baltimore. He was self-educated and worked in his father’s meat-

In 1835 he went to New Orleans on a business trip and met with the governor of Louisiana, Edward D. White Sr. Dyer was convinced to take the job of quarter master general for the state’s militia. A year later he met with General Thomas Jefferson Green who was on his way to join Stephan Austin to fight for Texas’s independence from Mexico.

Along with hundreds of other volunteers they arrived at the port in Galveston, Texas, two days after the crucial Battle of San Jacinto. Mex-

This most unusual immigrant family helped jumpstart the Jewish communities in two American cities. packing plant. The young man quickly became a popular figure in the Baltimore area and was elected acting mayor of the city during the Bread Riots. Through his intervention the rioters quieted down, and peace returned to the city.

ican General Santa Anna’s army had been soundly defeated, and the general was captured. When Dyer arrived he was commissioned as a major in the Texas Army and was assigned to clear the area of rogue Mexican soldiers. A few days later

Dyer was part of the guard that accompanied Santa Anna to Washington. Later he received a letter from the Mexican general thanking him for treating him with respect on the trip.

After the Texas Revolution Dyer joined the American Army and became a major in General Winfield Scott’s staff. Under his command was a young Lt. George B. McClellan who became infamous during the Civil War (according to many historians one of the worst generals in American history but strangely enough beloved by his troops).

During the Seminole and Mexican-American Wars Dyer was a high ranking officer under General Scott. In 1852 he was sent by President Millard Fillmore to Europe to deliver confidential information to the Prussian Government. He died in 1883 and is buried in Galveston, Texas.

Leon’s brother, Isadore, also moved to Galveston and became a successful businessman. He too was active during the Mexican-American War. Isadore was a beloved member in the Jewish community

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

in Galveston and started a shul in his house. His son, Isadore Dyer Jr., became a famous doctor who wrote many medical texts and reference books.

Rosanna Dyer was born in 1809 and was only sixteen when she married Joseph Osterman. Leon convinced them to set up a business in Galveston, and they were very successful in their general store and mercantile company. Soon they had enough money to live and so they sold their business to Isadore.

In 1852 the need arose for a Jewish cemetery in Galveston and it was Osterman who campaigned for its funding. She brought in a rabbi for its opening. Yellow fever epidemics broke out in Texas, and Rosanna became a nurse during these episodes.

In 1862 the American Civil War reached Galveston, and she became a volunteer nurse. Rosanna’s home, the first two-story house in the city, was turned into a hospital, and she treated the wounded from both

Leon Dyer

Isadore Dyer

sides of the conflict. She opened the storehouses of her business to provide and stock the local military hospitals. Her loyalties were with the Confederates and the story goes that she was nursing one particular Union officer who was wounded. After receiving vital intelligence on the Union movements she passed along

the information to the Confederate Army. This in turn led to the Battle of Galveston Harbor in which the Confederates won. One Union gunboat was captured while another was destroyed.

During the blockade she couldn’t obtain kosher meat but still kept kosher despite the difficulties. She also

became a courier for intelligence to Confederate officials in Houston.

Sadly, Rosanna drowned during a steamboat explosion in 1866. She was buried in New Orleans. While alive she was a noted philanthropist, and in her will she left all her money to charity. A lot of the money went to Jewish hospitals nationwide and to build organizations in Texas.

This most unusual immigrant family helped jumpstart the Jewish communities in two American cities. Not only that, they were actively involved in the fighting for their adopted nation. There aren’t that many stories of Jewish families fighting in the United States in the 1800s so the Dyer family story deserves to be told.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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Money

IRS Slapshot Misses

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

S

ummer is here, so naturally, everyone’s thinking about hockey. The Pittsburgh Penguins have just taken their second Stanley Cup in a row, and the rest of the NHL is working to make sure there’s no three-peat. But one of those teams just won a different sort of contest, in Tax Court of all places.

So let’s go to the tape...

Jeremy Jacobs is the owner and chairman of Delaware North, a concession company operating at places like stadiums, racetracks, and national parks. (Sounds like he’s as much to blame as anyone for the $14 beers you bought at your last ballgame.) He also owns the Boston Bruins, which finished 2017 with a 44-31-7 record in the league’s Eastern Conference.

Forbes magazine pegs his net worth at just 4.4$ billion, which means he’s barely a billionaire and still has to watch his pennies.

The Bruins play half their games on the road. Those road trips can get expensive, especially when it comes to feeding everyone “between 20 and 24 players, the head coach, assistant coaches, medical personnel, athlet-

ic trainers, equipment managers, communications personnel, travel logistics managers, public relations/ media personnel, and other employees.” The team actually requires everyone to attend breakfast, where players meet with coaches to talk strategy, review film, discuss media

minimis fringe benefits.

Here’s the problem. For employee meals to qualify as a de minimis fringe benefit, they have to be served at a facility “owned or leased by the employer.” But the team served half of those meals on the road. So the IRS iced half of those

For employee meals to qualify as a de minimis fringe benefit, they have to be served at a facility “owned or leased by the employer.”

inquiries, and make roster changes.

The Bruins spent $255,274 on team meals in 2009 and $284,446 in 2010. Now, we all know those are deductible: you can write off 50% of the cost of meals you eat while traveling for business. But Jacobs wasn’t satisfied deducting just 50%. He (or at least his accountants) wanted to deduct 100% of those expenses as de

expenses, and the parties wound up facing off in court.

Judge Ruwe sounds like a hockey fan. His opinion runs a full 34 pages, which is the Tax Court equivalent of overtime for a case that size. The main issue was whether the hotel meeting rooms where the team served meals qualified as their “business premises” under code

section 132(e)(2). And the referee judge, exercising some much-appreciated common sense, ruled for the team.

In short, he said, league rules require the team to play half of its games away from home, and even arrive at least six hours before game time. Wherever the team hosts those meetings is its “place of business,” at least for that contest, so the meals the team serves are 100% deductible de minimis fringe benefits. The decision saved Jacobs 45,205$ for 2009 and 39,823$ in 2010.

NHL Hall of Famer Wayne Gretzky once said: “A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.” We agree with Gretzky, and we don’t settle for playing where the puck is. Make sure you’re ready to suit up against the tax code, and let’s put some Ws on the board!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 yea rs in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

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Life C ach

Hey, Lock Me Away

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

W

hat’s your instrument of choice?

So you wind up with some unused melon or some dinner leftovers, where does it go?

Some people refuse to save! If it doesn’t get eaten, it’s in the trash right away. Others will store it somewhere in the fridge till the days of Armageddon set in.

But what to put it away in – that is the question.

Some people are ardent Tupperware supporters. They have a size and shape container for every occasion; others are less formal – they just save it in their dependable, empty coleslaw containers and they’re good to go.

Then there are those who utilize the trusty Ziploc bag! No matter what the product is, they are storing it in a Ziploc. From chicken, to veggies, to formless jello, that bag will get them through. Even though the item falls to the bottom of the bag and then contours shapelessly to the shelf, it still goes in the bag. Even though it doesn’t always look that tempting after sitting pressurized in some haphazard stance, it goes in that bag.

That’s because their cleanup escape plan is stop, drop, and roll it closed!

That doesn’t work for me, though, because I’ve seen fresh salad go into the fridge looking crunchy and ap-

pealing and come out looking like a veggie burger, matted and soldered together. I’d rather, if it’s possible, have something come out the same as I put it in! Yet, some prefer convenience and speed to easy recognition!

Others will simply run a piece of cellophane across whatever their leftovers are sitting inside of. It works for them because it’s got clear visibility and keeps everything super moist.

Unfortunately, that includes something they prefer to keep crunchy and not moist!

Then there are those who are very situation appropriate. If it will be go-

my stuff. You may think this sounds amazingly efficient of me. I do too! But, as it works out, it simply informs me of just how long it’s been since I cleaned out my pantry, fridge, or freezer. And how long it’s been sitting where I finally find it. Seriously, sometimes I feel I should rename the spots I locate my food as “The Archive.” That’s because these items wind up sitting there so long. Furthermore, if they didn’t have a description marked on it, guessing what it is would make a great quiz show.

Did you ever notice how refrigerators never seem deep enough

That’s because their cleanup escape plan is stop, drop, and roll it closed!

ing into the oven they want it stored in a tin. If it’s a microwavable item, then glass or plastic is its temporary abode. And if eaten room-temperature, a bag will do! They are the Aristotle of storers. No flippant decision here; their storage plan has taken years of thought and insight to arrive at.

Me, I like to date and identify

when you are looking for space to put things away? But when you start to clean them out, they seem like an endless abyss. Where in the world do all those items manage to hide out?

Mastering the storage game is a talent not to be taken lightly. If you’ve got it down to a science you’re a modern day phenomena. You should actually blog about it! Emerging stem-

cell research has nothing over you!

On the other hand, I’d say my contribution to science would be more like: what can an item morph into if neglected long enough!

I just want to salute all those who have perfected putting away leftovers. And empathize with those who have not. And furthermore, let you know you are not alone. We all have our little talents and skills and if this isn’t your best don’t worry; the garbage pail is always waiting with open arms.

I don’t know if you’ve seen something I recently noticed people using, it looks like a little food shower cap.

I’m still old-fashioned, I just use them on my head. But whatever works for you, if it works, hooray! Obviously with this new invention you could possibly stick the food on your head, jump in the shower, and kill two birds with one stone. If that’s not an idea for you just keep an eye on what’s coming down the pipeline. Stay optimistic – there’s always something new under the sun. At least hopefully when it comes to storage ideas!

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com<mailto:rivki@rosenwalds.com

The Jewish Home | JULY 13, 2017

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