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TJH Centerfold

Riddle me this?

It was the first week after Lag B’Omer, and the wedding hall was set for a busy week. They had a wedding scheduled on each night for five nights straight. However, due to a clerical error, the wedding hall staff has no idea which couple is getting married on each night. On their information sheet, each name is in the correct column, but only one of the names within each column actually appears in the correct row. Using the clues below, match the grooms, the brides, and the last names, and then place each couple in the proper order of their wedding date.

Chosson Kallah Last Name Avi Aviva Kent Yosef Elana Goodman Dovid Shira Adams Baruch Yocheved Moss Shimon Chani Small Clues: 1) Shimon is 1 place after Yocheved. 2) Chani is 1 place before the Mosses. 3) Dovid is not marrying Yocheved nor is he a Moss. 4) The Kents are 1 place before Shira, who is 2 places after Dovid. 5) Avi is 2 places before the Smalls.

CHOSSON KALLAH LAST NAME Dovid Elana Goodman Avi Yocheved Kent Shimon Shira Adams Baruch Chani Smalls Yosef Aviva Moss

Answer to Riddle Me This:

What Mom Probably Said

MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”

COLUMBUS’S MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL: “ You have school tomorrow; hang up the phone!”

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN : “Benny, get inside! What, do you want to be hit by lightning?”

MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!”

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew.”

LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN’S MOTHER: “Stop playing that music so loud!”

Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai Knowledge Quiz

For how many years in total was Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai in a cave with his son? a. 8 b. 12 c. 13 d. 18

What type of tree miraculously grew in the cave? a. Apple tree b. Carob tree c. Fig tree d. Peach tree

Who was Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai’’s rebbe? a. Rabbi Yehuda b. Rabbi Akiva c. Yochanan Ben Zakai d. Rabbi Meir

When Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai and his son came out of the cave the second time, they saw an old Jewish man carrying something in honor of Shabbos. What was the man carrying? a. A fish b. Three pieces of meat c. A gold candelabra d. Two myrtle branches

Which one of the following holy sefarim was written by Rabbi Shimony Ben Yochai? a. Zohar b. Mesillas Yeshorim c. Tanya d. Talmud Bavli Shas

Who was Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai’s father-in-law? a. Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair b. Rabbi Yehudah Hanasi c. Raish Lakish d. Shamai

Scorecard: 

5-6 correct: You deserve a fully paid trip to Meron for Lag Ba’Omer.

3-4 correct: Pretty good, but you are not exactly proficient in the Zohar yet. 0-2 correct: Remember, Rabbi Akiva started learning Torah at 40!

1. C 2. B 3. B 4. D 5. A 6. A

Answer Key 

You gotta be kidding

A mother walks her son to the school bus stop on his first day of kindergarten. “Behave, my tattaleh,” she says. “Take good care of yourself and think about your mother, zeeskeit!

“And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh,” she adds.

“Your Mommy loves you a lot, my tzatzkele!”

At the end of the school day, the

bus stops at the bus stop and the young boy runs off the bus. The mother runs over and hugs her son.

“So what did mein kint learn on his first day of school?” she asks him.

He answers, “I learned that my name is Yossi.”