HealthyLife September 2012

body. mind. spirit.

A Times Union Publication

September 2012

Men & Women Just Can

be Friends?

Private Parts We ask the embarrassing questions

Food Revolution

Saving school lunches and the family dinner

Krav Maga

Get fit AND protect yourself

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body. mind. spirit.

Publisher George Hearst III Editorial Janet Reynolds, Executive Editor Brianna Snyder, Associate Editor Rebecca Haynes, Contributing Editor

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HealthyLife is published eight times per year. If you are interested in receiving home delivery of HealthyLife magazine, please call (518) 454-5768 or email magcirculation@timesunion.com. For advertising information, please call (518) 454-5358.

HealthyLife is published by Capital Newspapers and Times Union 645 Albany Shaker Road, Albany, NY 12212 518.454.5694 The entire contents of this magazine are copyright 2012 by Capital Newspapers. No portion may be reproduced in any means without written permission of the publisher.

Capital Newspapers is a wholly owned subsidiary of The Hearst Corporation.

38

57

body

mind

every issue

24 Vaguely Vegan

55 Ask Emma

8 contributors’ page

Celebrating a lifestyle anyone can adopt

28 A Food Revolution Promoting healthy school lunches

32 What’s for Dinner?

A new book gives you pointers

34 Protect Yourself

And get fit with Krav Maga

38 The Gynecologists Are In! We ask the embarrassing questions for you

Why siblings let us down

57 The Future is Now

Expert advice on raising your child to be better prepared

spirit 65 My Word

Living up to superwoman

67 Just Friends

Yes, platonic love does exist

12 editor’s note 14 news & views 18 fit & fab 22 did you know? fast facts

42 ask the doc

childhood obesity

70 cover model Q&A

Up close with Andrea Annese-Como

44 Brain Drain

Avoiding Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia

48 Nail Envy

Getting the best mani/pedi

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Hair and makeup by Kimberley’s A Day Spa, Latham, (518) 785-5868. On the cover: Sweater by Premise, pants by Celebrity Pink, Fedora by D&Y, jewelry by Ashley Cooper.

Select clothing available at Boscov’s Clifton Park, Clifton Park Center, (518) 348-0800.

Cover model photos taken at Central Park in Schenectady by Suzanne Kawola.

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talk back

The story behind the story from our contributors Alzheimer’s Prevention

Cari Scribner  When I talked to women who’ve been taking Krav Maga, I was amazed by their sense of self-reliance and confidence. The women had absolutely no prior training in self-defense, and most said they weren’t in great shape starting out.

It was empowering for them and they are all sticking with it. It’s so much more than a laborious run on a treadmill! See Cari’s story on page 34.

Child Advice Jayne Keedle  The thing that struck me most of all in researching this story was that, despite the fact that times have changed and the world seems so very different now, the advice remains the same. Children need to know the basics, from the “three Rs” to the social niceties. Parents may have to make extra effort ensure their kids are interacting on a face-to-face basis but it’s still up to the parents to teach their children how to behave in social situations and to instill those core values right from the start.

Those are guiding principles that will serve children well for the rest of their lives. See Jayne’s story on page 57.

join the conversation! www.facebook.com/ HealthyLifeNYmagazine

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Read the story on page 32, then go to our Facebook page and tell us your favorite family dinner.

We’ll pick a random winner.

8

healthylife

“I would definitely want a doctor who was willing to take a chance” Elizabeth Floyd Mair  I learned that there are two kinds of doctors: those who are unwilling to make any assertions that are not already absolutely medically proven, and those who will say, “Hey, this might help, and it won’t hurt you, so why not?” If I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I would definitely want a doctor who was willing to take a chance on the unproven but possible. See Elizabeth’s story on page 44.

News & Views: Indulgences Beth Cooney  I loved learning that some of my favorite indulgences — like popcorn and chocolate — can be good for you.

In a world where health news can often induce a terminal guilt-trip knowing some of my habits (like having something sweet every day) may actually be why my weight is normal for my age was a revelation. Turns out those of us who don’t deprive ourselves may be on the right track after all. Of course, moderation is key, so mini-Snickers here I come! See Beth’s story on page 14.

School Lunches Valerie Foster  I always thought that school food was horrid. Imagine my surprise when I learned that parents, educators, chefs, food service firms and entrepreneurs are joining forces to make the food our children eat healthier. Healthy food is the best defense to helping our kids pay attention in school and live up to their potential. And though we all know that parents shape their children, many of us have no idea how harmful a diet of fast food can be. To understand the importance a good diet plays in the success of a child should be the duty of every parent. I kind of knew this before. Now it’s become crystal clear. I’ll get off my soapbox now. See Valerie’s story on page 28.

Mani/Pedi Wendy Page  I was surprised by just how dangerous a mani/ pedi can be if not done following the proper sterilization methods.

I thought maybe you could get a small infection — certainly not the serious infections the podiatrist/ spa owners spoke of. It will absolutely make me pay more attention to the whole process from now on. See Wendy’s story on page 48.

We asked, you answered!  What do you listen to when you’re exercising?

Melissa: Heavier music like Metallica and Nickelback when I’m weight training. 80’s and 90’s when I’m running or cycling. Music is so important for me when I work out. It completely motivates me :) Rachel: I used to always listen to music. Since

I began practicing yoga, though, I’ve found that no matter what form of exercise I’m engaged in I now cherish silence.

 If you could be any age again for one week, what age would you be?

Colleen: I am torn between the simplicity of early childhood and the desire

to modify the decisions of my adolescence. I suppose, if I still obtained the knowledge I have now, I would like to be 19 or 20 again. So many lifechanging decisions had to be made, but so little was understood at that age.

Debra: 40! It was one of my best years. This year 55 has not been as kind.

Linda: What if the best is yet to come?

iPod Shuffle photo: ©Empire331/Dreamstime.com.

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check out the healthylife channel

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behind the scenes After reading our Q&A with cover model Andrea Annese-Como on page 70, head online to check out our exclusive Behind the Scenes story and photo gallery.

healthylife

blogs

Vaguely Vegan Get this recipe for Potato Torte from Joseph Shuldiner’s cookbook, Pure Vegan, after first reading the story on page 24.

Pain of migraines

Rebecca Haynes, editor of HealthyLife Connecticut, offers her perspective on life and motherhood while she navigates the teen years and beyond.

Looking for options to help?

Check out our online-only story.

Healthy Tips Writer and freelance editor Beth Cooney scans the Web to bring you the latest info and tips for healthy living.

Powder Up! Who needs flour when you can bake with protein powder? Read all about it, and see some recipes in our online-exclusive story.

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healthylife

Healthy Life Writer and designer Carin Lane shares her success stories with losing weight her way — without a gym membership, a personal trainer, or special foods.

Krav Maga Check out our exclusive online video demonstrating the benefits of Krav Maga, after reading the article on page 34.

Got a smartphone?

Scan the QR code at right to link directly to our HealthyLife videos page on YouTube. 

Illustration: Computer mouse, ©Irina Iglina/Dreamstime.com. Photos: Behind the Scenes photo

by Brianna Snyder; Migraines, © Daniel Laflor; Protein powder photo by Wendy Carlson.

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editor’s note

Table Talk

Photo by Krishna HIll.

O

ne of the places where I would gladly take a parenting do-over is the whole family-meal deal. I spent far too many years making multiple meals to satisfy various tastebuds — including one very picky eater — and feeling, depending on the night, exhausted and/or rejected by the responses. Let’s just say “Thank you, Mother, for that delightful meal you made from scratch,” was not a common refrain.

Where, oh where was Jenny Rosenstrach when I needed her? A blogger and now author of Dinner: A Love Story, she is a sane voice in a crazy world in which parents increasingly feel as if their every (mistaken) move will mean their child is doomed to a lifetime of failure. (The story is on page 32.)

Feeding our children is literally the center of our nurturing them in so many ways. So it is not surprising the family dinner table so quickly becomes a battleground of wills: Parents take what is placed on the table personally, while children just want to eat — or not, depending on the day.

Some days, it’s an emotional minefield. Rosenstrach shows us how not to implode.

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news and views

Fat-fighting Spice

Like Fido, Like Self

Pit Bulls have natural aggressive tendencies.

In an intriguing new study that suggests there’s really something to the popular notion that dogs reflect the personalities of their owners, researchers have found that surly people tend to favor aggressive pooches as pets.

While researchers stressed that their findings were not associated with delinquency or violence, they found that younger, less-agreeable types tended to have more of a desire to own dog breeds perceived as aggressive (such as pit bulls). The study, published in the June issue of Anthrozoos, was based on the results of a survey in which respondents rated several breeds of dogs as potential pets.

Respondents who were identified through an assessment of character traits as being the least likely to care about the feelings of others were most likely to favor aggressive pets.

In good news, researchers found that besides surliness, pet owners who identified most strongly with aggressive breeds also tended to rate high in traits such as conscientiousness and responsibility.

So maybe, while grumpy, these owners are more likely to make sure a high-strung pet stays on a tight leash.

Still curious? Go to tinyurl.com/aug12dogs.

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healthylife

Pass the pepper please! A new study has some spicy good news. One of black pepper’s micro-nutrient ingredients may play a role in halting the formation of fat cells.

The research, recently published in the American Chemical Society’s Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, reveals that piperine, the pungent substance that gives black pepper its characteristic bite, can also be a fatfighter. Korean university scientists, intrigued by black pepper’s long association as an antiinflammatory ingredient sometimes used to treat intestinal disorders in Eastern medicine, set out to investigate the potential potency of piperine on a molecular level.

Their laboratory studies and computer models noted that piperine interferes with the genetic activity that leads to the formation of new fat cells. In doing so, the researchers suggested that piperine may set off a metabolic chain reaction that keeps fat in check.

But before you give a few extra twists to the pepper mill at dinner, keep in mind that the research probably needs more specific investigation and study to see how potent the spice really is. The researchers noted the findings could lead to additional research on the use of piperine in efforts to treat obesity and promote weight loss.

Want to know more? Go to tinyurl.com/ aug12pepper.

Photos: Pit Bull, © Shawn And Sue Roberts/Dreamstime.com; Pepper Mill, © Bombaert/Dreamstime.com; George Clooney, Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images; Daniel Craig, Ian Gavan/Getty Images; Pierce Brosnan, AP File Photo; Baby, © Igor Stepovik/Dreamstime.com; Pink Ribbon, © iStockphoto.com/Dawn Poland.

compiled by beth cooney

What Lies Beneath

George Clooney

Daniel Craig

Pierce Brosnan

Father material? Sexy men are even more attractive to women when women are at their most fertile.

Cad Knows Best?

Got

a

weakness

for bad boys? According to new research from the University of Texas at San Antonio, that could mean you’re in search of someone to father your children. Although it seems to make no sense, researchers have determined that when women are at their most fertile, they are most likely to think sexy cads make good dads.

But lead researcher and UTSA Associate Marketing Professor Kristina Durante explains that her research shows that during the time of ovulation a surge of hormones actually influence women’s perceptions of potential sexual partners.

“Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men

Fit for Life

like George Clooney or James Bond,” Durante says in a statement. “But until now it was unclear why women would ever think it’s wise to pursue long-term relationships with these kind of men.”

Durante’s team asked women to rate the dating profiles of men deemed either sexy or reliable during times of low and high fertility. The ovulating crowd was more likely to perceive that bad boys were willing to play a role in traditional domestic parenting duties.

The findings were recently reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

If you’re planning on installing new flooring this fall, you may want to pay close attention to the materials you choose, especially if young ones are crawling on the premises.

Swedish researchers have established a correlation between flooring materials containing PVCs and the absorption of potentially dangerous aromatic chemicals known as phthalates in children’s bodies. Some of these substances are already banned from toys because of their association with asthma, allergies and other chronic diseases in children.

Because they are not part of a chain of chemicals (polymers), phthalates can be released fairly easily from products, according to the Agency for Toxic Substances & Disease Registry. They are sometimes found in common everyday items such as toothbrushes, auto parts, tools and food packaging.

Curious about the effect phthalates in building materials might have on children, Swedish researchers studied the urine of 83 infants ages 2 to 6 months. They found phthalate levels were high in the group of babies that had PVC flooring in their rooms. They also found phthalate levels were lowest in the children who were exclusively breast-fed, but offered no reason why.

The Swedish Research Council study was led by CarlGustaf Bornehag.

Considering changing out the PVC? Go to tinyurl.com/aug12pvc.

Want more excuses to search for Daniel Craig and other James Bonds?

Go to tinyurl.com/ aug12badboys.

It seems like the evidence for exercise doing good things for a woman’s body just keeps getting stronger. Duke University researchers have made an intriguing correlation between fitness levels and a woman’s chances of surviving breast cancer.

Among patients with advanced breastcancer, women with higher cardiopulmonary function survived “significantly longer” (36 months) than women with low fitness

levels (16 months).

Prior studies suggest that, in general, the lung and heart function of breast cancer patients and survivors is significantly lower than their non-afflicted counterparts.

“Fitness level may be an important biomarker of survival among cancer patients,” reports Lee Jones, Ph.D., an associate professor at Duke University and the study’s lead author.

Read more at tinyurl.com/aug12cancer.

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

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news and views

Dirty Business Eating lunch

in the corporate cafeteria? You may want to plop a bottle of hand sanitizer on your tray. Turns out the workplace lunchroom can be as germ-infested as your average public restroom.

As part of its “Healthy Workplaces Project,” researchers at the University of AriAccess to hand zona swabbed sanitizer in the common ofworkplace goes fice luncha long way to room objects diminish germy in search of threats. animal, yeast, mold and other bacteria. Researchers reported the worst threats in your typical office breakroom lurked on the handles of the microwave and sink.

Other hot spots: computer keyboards, vending and water machine buttons and fridge handles.

The study was funded by Kimberly Clark, which manufactures items such as tissues, cleaning wipes and paper towels.

More dirt at tinyurl.com/aug12germs.

Say It Isn’t Soy

Sweet News A candy bar a day

keeps the doctor away?

That sounds a little too good — and sweet — to be true, but there’s more delicious nutrition news for chocolate lovers. Its enticing ingredients are being praised in yet another study that says chocolate confections (some of which have known potent antioxidant properties) can help lower BMI, despite their completely indulgent fat and sugar load. It should be stressed that the research, first reported in the May Archives of Internal Medicine, included all varieties of chocolate (including milk and white) and not just the less-processed (and arguably more healthful) dark chocolate variety.

This University of Californiabased study, which looked at more than 1,000 Californian men and women ages 20 to 85, concluded unequivocally that despite its fat and calorie content, frequent consumption of chocolate was linked to a lower BMI. The researchers maintained that even when they looked at a variety of variables — such as exercise habits, gender, education, and fruit and veg-

healthylife

Ponder that candy bar a little more at tinyurl.com/aug12choc.

Although many women consider soy products a natural alternative to estrogen, post-menopausal women who take daily powder supplements don’t get a boost to their overall critical-thinking ability, according to new research.

The conclusion comes from the Women’s Isoflavone Soy Health Trial, a study founded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health. Researchers evaluated a large sample of postmenopausal women given soy or milk protein (as a placebo) in soy or bar form. The soy testers were given 25 grams of the protein daily. At the start of the study and again, two and a half years later, the subjects were given a variety of cognitive tests to determine if the soy supplements had an effect.

Overall, researchers found no significant differences between the two groups.

Still curious? Read more at tinyurl.com/aug12soy.

16

etable consumptions — frequent chocolate eaters still fared better when their BMIs were compared to those who noshed on chocolate less often. The researchers reported the weight difference was fairly significant, averaging between five and seven pounds.

But before you unwrap that big hunk of chocolate and plunk yourself down on the couch to inhale it, keep in mind researchers suggested this study only calls for more exploration of what — if any — nutritional or lifestyle factors may have led to their results. For example, some researchers have previously suggested that strict and prohibitive diets that keep people from indulging in sweet treats may ultimately lead to overeating and weight gain. So perhaps what’s contributing to a chocolate eater’s good health is more of an overall balanced approach to diet, fitness and nutrition.

Breast Success?

Photos: Hand sanitizer, Krista Hicks benson; All others, Dreamstime.com; Candy Bar, © Anke Van Wyk; Soy Milk and Soy Beans, © Win Nondakowit; Milk Bottle, © Flynt; Kids Running, © Monkey Business Images.

Despite best intentions and medical wisdom, many new mothers don’t achieve their goal of exclusively breast-feeding their newborns for the first six months. And a new study suggests women’s struggles and ambivalence about breast-feeding may begin before they even leave the hospital. The study, published in the July issue of Pediatrics, contends that while most mothers plan to breastfeed their infants for an extended period of time, only about one-third of them actually do.

Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention set out

Fast Friends to study the habits of breast-feeding American moms. In a summary of the study, researchers noted that only about 32 percent of mothers manage to breast-feed for as long as they intended. Factors that improved a woman’s chances of successfully meeting her breast-feeding goals were not using supplemental formula or pacifiers for their infants during their hospital stay. Being married and having previously breast-fed an infant also improved a mother’s chances of staying committed to her breastfeeding agenda.

Want more info? Visit tinyurl.com/ aug12brfeed.

heavy physical activity was based In what amounts to a posion the actions of their friends. Gentive form of fitness peer pressure, der seemed to play no role in this researchers have found that kids are result, noted the researchers who moved — quite literally — by what’s reported their findings in going on around them. A the journal Pediatrics. small study suggests that When peer The researchers sugyour kids will sit around if their friends do and, conpressure is gest their findings could be used to spur specific versely, the more their positive. interventions in settings friends are active, the more such as schools and daylikely they are to get up and move. care-type programs, where encourVanderbilt University researchers aging kids to exercise with their studied the physical activity levels friends may produce healthy habof a group of racially diverse kids its and positive outcomes. Parents enrolled in an afterschool program. may want to interpret these findTheir conclusion: Children don’t ings as a call to find ways to pair up necessarily form friendships based more sedentary children with their on their peers’ physical activity, but most active friends for more kinetic their existing friendships heavily play dates. influenced how much they moved.

Indeed, the researchers say, the Want the full report? Go to strongest influence on how much tinyurl.com/aug12kids. time the kids spent in moderate to

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

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Too much fun in the sun this summer? Repair the damage with these Fit and Fab finds, all available for under $10!

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▼ Simple Skincare

Cleansing Facial Wipes and Replenishing Rich Moisturizer: Exfoliation is the

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The replenishing moisturizer leaves your skin as radiant as ever. Wipes, $4.99; moisturizer, $9.97. Available at Walmart, Target and many other retailers or supermarkets.

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➺

To get a better night’s sleep, wear socks to bed.

Feet are often the first part of the body to get cold because they have the worst circulation. If you cover them up, the blood vessels widen, enabling your body to better transfer heat so you can sleep more soundly.

body Did You Know? 22 Vaguely Vegan 24

A Food Revolution 28 What’s for Dinner? 32 Photo: © Studiovespa/Dreamstime.com.

Protect Yourself 34 The Gynecologists Are In! 38 Ask the Doc 42 Brain Drain 44 Nail Envy 48

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

21

fast facts

1 cm

Nails grow at a rate of 1 cm every 100 days (or 0.1 mm daily). So it takes between four and six months for a fingernail to regrow completely. For toenails, which grow four times slower than fingernails, it takes 12-18 months to grow a complete nail.

compiled by brianna snyder

40 percent Childhood dreams are shorter than adult dreams, but nearly 40 percent of them are nightmares. source: http://tinyurl.com/sept12nightmares

1,000 source: http://tinyurl.com/sept12nails

40

Women having children after the age of 40 are 128 percent more likely to bear a left-handed child. source: http://tinyurl. com/sept12left

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healthylife

There are about 1,000 recognized euphemisms in the English language for the word “vagina.” source: http://tinyurl.com/sept12vagina

250,000

Each foot has about 250,000 sweat glands and together they release close to a cup of moisture every day. source: http://tinyurl.com/sept12feet

Photos: Dreamstime.com; Hands, © Chaoss; Sleeping family, © Monika Adamczyk; Socks, © Monika Adamczyk; Left-handed child, © Monika Adamczyk.

did you know?

r e b m e t p e S r vo

Sa

HEWITT’S Home of the Lifetime f Nursery Guarantee Visit hewitts.com for more information

Rt. 50, Glenville 399-1703 Rt. 9, Clifton Park 371-0126

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Photo by Peter Bowden

cookbook

Vaguely Vegan a cookbook that celebrates a lifestyle anyone can adopt

Get this VEGAN recipe for Potato Torte at timesunion.com/ healthylife.

by janet reynolds | photos by emily brooke sandor and joseph shuldiner

H

ere’s a cookbook twist: a vegan cookbook by someone who is not a vegan. That’s right. While Joseph Shuldiner has been a vegan and a vegetarian, he isn’t now and wasn’t when he created his cookbook, Pure Vegan.

The reason for this apparent paradox is simple, Shuldiner says. “A lot of people draw the line distinctly: ‘I either eat this way or only eat that way,’” he says. “For me personally it’s not a clear-cut hard line path. I enjoy a primarily plant-based diet, but I’m curious about food and other ingredients. The line shifts in the sand for me a lot.”

The cookbook reflects that open way of looking at food. “My aim is really about providing recipes that are

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more inventive for vegan cooking and for vegans but also to broach the subject for people who aren’t vegans, not necessarily to convert them but to introduce them to a plant-based diet,” Shuldiner says. “This is about taste and lifestyle, taking off that charge around the politics of veganism and bringing people in.”

The result is a cookbook that is user-friendly, from its simple recipes to its stunning photography. (Shuldiner is a graphic designer and photographer when he’s not cooking.) In addition to the recipes, the book includes information on setting up the vegan pantry and the best equipment to have on-hand in your kitchen.

The cookbook also reflects Shuldiner’s varied path to cooking. From a young age, he was curious about food and how it was made. Then, in the ’60s and ’70s, he started experimenting with various health movements, but “I was never interested in becoming a chef.” Instead he became an art director for various magazines and got his food fix working with food artists in photo shoots. Then he became a book designer and worked on cookbooks.

S

huldiner’s relaxed approach is clear in the way Pure Vegan is set up. Where other cookbooks feature chapters on breakfast and lunch, or perhaps types of food such as appetizers and entrees, Pure Vegan is divided by times of day, starting with morning and ending with very late night.

“It was very liberating,” Shuldiner says of this decision. “Almost everyone I talked to who was a vegan for a while stopped because it was too difficult. It got in way of their lifestyle — food prep, being social with other people, whatever that was.”

The 24-hour idea was to help people realize they can eat vegan a day at a time or even just part of a day and it doesn’t have to be “work.” Shuldiner adPure Vegan, 70 Recipes for mits the last two chapBeautiful Meals and Clean Living, ters — late-night and

by Joseph Shuldiner, photographs very late-night — are a

by Emily Brooke Sandor and little tongue-in-cheek.

Joseph Shuldiner, Chronicle “Vegans are not asBooks, 224 pages, $29.95 sociated in the public eye with having fun,” he says. The late-night and very-late-night chapters are aimed in particular at the younger potentially vegan set. “You’re a young kid and you want something bad or sweet — being vegan doesn’t stop you from eating,” he says. “I’m trying to repaint who vegan people are. They can be as wild as other people. That’s why desserts are in there.

“It’s really just about lifestyle,” Shuldiner says. “You don’t have to repress yourself to eat this way.”

HL

Want to get a little more of the Pure Vegan vibe?

Check out the book’s trailer — yup, trailer — on YouTube by scanning the QR code on the left, or visit timesunion.com/healthylife.

For a recipe, turn to page 26 

Health & Wellness

at Hannaford Did you know?

Hannaford features registered dietitians in over 40 of our stores, with great nutritional services like: • Free nutrition classes • On-the-sales-floor nutrition education demonstrations • Healthy store tours for your school, work, or community group

Our upcoming weekly demos: September 2 September 9 September 16 September 23 September 30

Tickle Your Taste Buds Protein Power Sandwich Makeover Prenatal Health Fall Back into Healthy Habits

To find a registered dietitian near you and see a monthly detailed schedule of events, go to hannaford.com/healthy.

You can also email a private nutrition question to our on-staff registered dietitian at hannaford.com/asknutritionist.

cookbook

continued from page 25

Garbanzo Bean and Tomato Soup Serves 4-6 Ingredients 1 1/4 cups dried garbanzo beans or 2 15-ounce cans drained 6 cups vegetable stock 1 cup orzo 1 28-ounce can crushed or diced tomatoes 1 tablespoon olive oil, plus more for drizzling 4 cloves garlic, minced 2 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary 1 teaspoon salt 1 /2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper method If using dried garbanzo beans, put them in a large bowl and add water to cover by at least 2 inches. Let soak for at least 8 hours and up to overnight. Drain and rinse the beans, put them in a large soup pot or stockpot, and add fresh water to cover by 2 inches. Bring to a boil; then lower the heat, cover and simmer, stirring occasionally for about 2 hours until tender. Drain and set aside.

In the same pot, bring the stock to a boil over high heat.

Lower the heat to medium-high, add the orzo, and cook until al dente, about 10 minutes. Stir in the garbanzos and tomatoes and bring the soup back to a simmer.

Meanwhile, in a small skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the garlic, rosemary and thyme and sautĂŠ until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir the seasonings into the beans, along with the salt and pepper.

Transfer 2 cups of the soup to a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Return the puree to the pot. Taste and adjust the seasoning. Serve the soup in warmed bowls with a drizzle of olive oil on top.

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simply healthy Tortilla-Crusted Chicken Breasts Serves: 4 • Prep Time: 5 min. • Cook Time: 20 min.

Ingredients: 1/2 cup baked tortilla chip crumbs 3 Tbsp. Shedd’s Spread Country Crock®Spread 1/4 tsp. McCormick® Ground Cumin 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (about 1-1/4 lbs.)

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 4 lime wedges

Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 425°. Combine tortilla crumbs, Shedd’s Spread Country Crock® Spread and cumin in small bowl; set aside.

3. Arrange chicken on aluminum-foil-lined baking sheet; then top with crumb mixture.

4. Bake 20 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly cooked.

Sprinkle with cilantro and serve with lime wedges.

Recipe courtesy of Unilever. For a list of Hannaford locations and more healthy recipe ideas, visit hannaford.com.

We love herbs!

Look for our September Veggie of the Month Recipe courtesty of ?? display For a list of Hannaford locations and more healthy recipein-store. ideas, All recipes are kid-tested visit hannaford.com. and kid-approved!

family nutrition

d o o AF promoting healthy school lunches

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n o i t u l o v e R

by valerie foster

A

my Kalafa has been called a Nutrition Nazi and a healthythe morning from hell: Not only was she running late, but her school-food advocate. She prefers the latter, although toddler wasn’t cooperating. She forgot to pack her lunch for the former — a term often used to describe her and her work and decided to try that day’s cafeteria offering. For $3 fight — is something she’s learned to ignore. her tray was filled with a bagel dog, a Jell-O cup, six Tater A few years ago, Kalafa produced the documentary film Tots and chocolate milk. She found the meal inedible, but Two Angry Moms, which examines the state of school lunches even more importantly, it angered her. and outlines what parents can do to get better food served in “My school serves those mostly living below the poverty their children’s schools. Recently she wrote Lunch Wars: How line, and I could not believe that this was the food the kids to Start a School Food Revolution and Win the Battle for Our were eating, the food that was supposed to give these chilChildren’s Health. For Kalafa the issue is simple: “There is only dren fuel to get through the afternoon,” she says. And so one side to the school lunch debate. Kids’ health. We have to began her blog in January 2010, Fed Up with Lunch, which change the way we feed our children to stop the declining rate she wrote under the pen name “Mrs. Q.” Each school day of children’s health probshe would buy the school lems in the United States.” lunch and take it to her According to first lady office, where she phoMichelle Obama’s camtographed the food and paign against childhood wrote about what she Starting this fall, every school that is part of the Nationobesity, Let’s Move!: was eating. Her meals al School Lunch Program must provide healthier school were mostly hamburg Nearly one in lunches to children. The rule governing school lunches ers, chicken nuggets, hot three U.S. children is is part of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010. dogs, French fries, pizza overweight or obese. and pasta — the centerSchool lunches will have:  Over the past three piece of our fast-food nadecades, childhood tion. Within a month, she  Fruits and vegetables  Proper portion size obesity rates in our had a thousand hits per at every meal and calorie count country have tripled. day on her blog. Soon, she for proper nutrition  Increased selections was a guest on national  Nearly 40 percent of of whole-grain foods  Reduced amounts of TV — albeit disguised. Tochildren living in black saturated fats, trans  Fat-free or low-fat milk day, she is out in the open and Hispanic communities fats and sodium with the publication of her are overweight. book, which shares the  If we don’t solve this same name as her blog. problem soon, one“When a school dethird of all children born cides to offer fast food, in 2000 or later will we’ve lost the battle,” Wu suffer from diabetes at says. “There are ways to some point in their lives. make inexpensive healthy Many others will face meals. We all need to get chronic obesity-related back to the basics. We health problems: heart also have to examine how we give our children lunch. They disease, high blood pressure, cancer and asthma. have a short lunch period, part of which they spend standing Why is this happening? Many reasons, but Let’s Move! in line to get their food. Lunch should be a respite, a relaxing points to inactivity and lifestyles. Kids once walked to and break in the middle of the day. We all need rest, especially from school, ran around at recess, and played outside for young minds. And any investment in quality food pays off in hours before dinner. Meals were home-cooked, not today’s learning. Kids need healthy food to do well in school.” typical fast food or pizza. Portions were smaller. Snacks were Closer to home limited to one, after-school. Now, one in five school-age chilMargaret Sullivan, food service director in the Saratoga dren has up to six snacks a day. Then consider soda. A normal Springs school district, has incrementally been making serving in the ’70s was 13.6 ounces. Today, it’s 20 ounces. changes in the food the kids are eating. Her philosophy: And one more statistic: The average American eats 15 more an initiative each year. After 14 years, each small step is pounds of sugar each year than in 1970. And much of that translating into big improvements. Today, the menu has no sugar is hiding in the foods served in school lunchrooms.

French fries, cured meats (hot dogs, pepperoni, sausage), Sarah Wu knows all these facts only too well. A speech pafrozen pizza or any foods containing trans fats. Beans, lethologist in the Chicago public school system, she rarely set gumes and deep orange vegetables are featured once a foot in the school cafeteria. But in October 2009, she had

Photos: Wood background; © Jaroon Ittiwannapong/Dreamstime.com; Lunch trays, © iStockphoto. com/Debbi Smirnoff; Chalkboard, © Christian Delbert/Dreamstime.com; Apple, Krista Hicks Benson.

New regulations

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

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family nutrition week. Meals are filled with whole grains instead of enriched white flour. Typical daily menus include chicken fajitas with onions and peppers, rice, corn; breaded chicken, mashed potatoes; or fresh-made cheese or veggie pizza with part skim-mozzarella, tossed salad with low-fat dressing. Each menu is served with a variety of fruit, and milk.

The cornerstone of Sullivan’s approach is involving area farms in providing food to the 6,800 students in her district. Her initial contract was in 2006 with Shelton Farms, a potato farm in Salem. Out went the pre-packaged French fries. The cafeteria staff washes and peels potatoes, transforming them into roasted and mashed potatoes — real food minus the trans fats. Today, 20 percent of the school’s produce comes from local farmers.

Unfortunately, that 20 percent figure did not happen overnight, since it was difficult to find farmers willing to sell to the school system. Lucky for Sullivan, the farmers were looking for space to set up a winter market. A deal was struck: The winter farmers market would take place in a school, and instead of rent, the farmers would donate $10,000 in produce to the school system.

In addition, some of the Saratoga Springs schools have their own gardens that children, teachers and parents tend. “”People don’t know where their food comes from anymore,” Sullivan says. “Planting a garden, watching it grow, then eating the bounty connects kids to the basics. They understand what they are eating. It brings them full circle.

Once they have their hands in a garden, they have a bigger investment in what they are eating.

“We have a duty to our kids to give them the best food we possibly can,” she adds. “If only everyone understood that when a child eats junk, their brain gets foggy and they want to fall asleep. They cannot learn then.”

Leading the Way A decade ago, John Turenne was executive chef at Yale University, working for the massive food service corporation Aramark. Sustainability was not in his vocabulary. But then he met the pioneer of conscious eating, chef Alice Waters, whose daughter, Fanny, was about to study at Yale. As Turenne says, “She told me that Fanny cannot eat the food served here.” She also gave him a copy of Fast Food Nation, and he was hooked.

After a few years, he left Aramark to form Sustainable Food Systems in Wallingford, Conn., which has been transforming the food served in schools, hospitals and businesses throughout the United States. One of his most prestigious projects was leading the behind-the-scenes team for Jamie Oliver’s “Food Revolution” in the

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The food pyramid has been replaced with MyPlate, a simple way to see what kinds of foods you should eat. Make half of your plate fruits and vegetables. Make at least half of your grains whole grains and switch to fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk. For more information, go to www.choosemyplate.gov.

Sullivan would like to see much more than 20 percent of the produce supplied by local farmers, but these farmers can make more money selling their produce to consumers and restaurants, making it difficult for her to negotiate prices the school district can stomach.

And about those chicken nuggets. “They are a favorite,” she says. “And I only make money when kids buy the meals.” Chicken nuggets are now a once-a-month treat, simply because they literally make cents. “It is challenging for a school to provide healthy, wholesome food because of the financial constraints we are under,” she says. “We have challenges, but we are all committed simply because it is the right thing to do.”

HL

Huntington, W.Va. school system. And that meant working with cafeteria and school district staff, many of whom were resisting change. His message is concise: We all need to find a way to produce and consume food that ultimately promotes the well-being of ourselves and our planet.

His advice for any school system wanting to make changes in the food they serve: “Begin with baby steps, followed by continuous growth.” He likens sustainability to a wheel with five spokes. And although food is important, it is only one spoke on the wheel. The other spokes you need to promote change: • Facilities and infrastructure: Examine the type of kitchen, the appliances used, how food is prepared, etc., and make changes when needed; • Community: Involve all the stakeholders responsible for the food —

staff, administration, students, parents, teachers, outside experts — or, as Turenne likes to say, “It takes a village to make change.”

• Communications: In many cases, that means retraining staff to cook again, and that requires education and communication. When it works well, food becomes part of the curriculum.

• Fiscal responsibility: Schools have to meet the nutritional guidelines set by the USDA while focusing on the bottom line. In most cases, adding labor is not an option but grants and innovative ways of buying and approaching food distribution are.

Turenne’s enthusiasm is contagious.

“With the right balance of a holistic program, anything is possible,” he says. “Say, ‘Yes we can do this thing’ as opposed to ‘no we can’t.’ Resolve to refuse to hear that word ‘can’t’ and you can do great things.”

 FOR MORE INFORMATION on family nutrition and food, see our story “What’s for Dinner?” on page 32.

How to Make a Difference So you don’t like the food served in your child’s cafeteria but think there’s nothing you can do about it. Not true.

• Have lunch with your child and see first-hand what they are eating. Also, ask to see an ingredient list for all the foods served. This knowledge is power, according to Kalafa.

• Join your district’s wellness or nutrition committee.

If one does not exist, create one. For help, visit www. betterschoolfood.org.

• Host a screening of Two Angry Moms. For information, www.angrymoms.org.

• Sign the “Two to Two Million Pledge.” For a copy, log on to www.angrymoms.org/pdf/tam_pledge.pdf. Almost 10,000 parents have signed the pledge to date.

At home

• Build your food knowledge by learning what foods are good for your family.

• Cook with your kids: Read books, take cooking classes, watch cooking shows. Try new things. Test recipes together.

• Plant a home garden.

In your community

• Talk to friends to raise awareness about the foods their children are eating in school. Then branch out, talk to media and local leaders about the issue.

• Call your elected officials and let them know you support legislation to get advertising and junk food out of the schools and USDA regulations that support sustainable agriculture, small farmers and local markets.

Photo: Lunchroom, © Monkey Business Images/Dreamstime.com.

Amy Kalafa produced the documentary Two Angry Moms to raise awareness about what U.S. school children are eating at lunch. Although she interviewed progressive advocates throughout the country, part of the documentary focused on Dr. Susan Rubin, director of A Better Way Holistic Health in Mount Kisco, N.Y. Rubin, a former dentist and now a holistic health practitioner, has been a healthy school-food advocate for more than a decade and her junk food awareness program has been implemented in schools throughout the country. She also created Better School Food, a coalition of educators, parents and health professionals whose mission is to raise awareness about feeding children healthy foods in school. Together, Kalafa and Rubin became Two Angry Moms.

Their goal: to get two million parents to sign the “Two to Two Million Pledge.” Kalafa explains that former Texas Agricultural Secretary Susan Combs said that it would take two million angry moms to change school food.

Kalafa just launched a social networking site (http://angrymoms.ning.com) to connect healthy-school lunch advocates — or those who want to know more about the issue — in school districts throughout the country. It is also a chance to see what other people are doing not only in the United States but around the world to make school lunches a healthy experience.

In addition, you can follow the Two Angry Moms action plan.

In your school district

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

31

family food

What’s for

?

Dinner blogger jenny rosenstrach gives you pointers in her new book

D

by janet reynolds

epending on what study you read, family dinner is a — maybe the — critical component in making sure your children grow up to be functioning, successful adults instead of losers with no fulltime job or, worst of all, turn out to be sociopaths.

These same studies — that you know are authored by men — often define “family dinner” in fairly narrow parameters: all healthy, home-cooked food; the entire family around the table (doesn’t count if Dad or Sulking Teen is missing); and, of course, a scintillating exchange of conversation, all of it positive, warm and loving.

It’s a lot of pressure to add to an already pressurized life, don’t you think?

Jenny Rosenstrach, author of the popular blog-now-book, Dinner A Love Story, thinks so. While she could easily be among the tskers about family dinner — she has kept a food journal of every dinner she’s made for the past 14 years after all — in fact, as readers of her blog know, Rosenstrach wants people to relax, and, above all, enjoy family dinner.

And maybe that idea starts with not calling it family dinner.

AUTHOR JENNY ROSENSTRACH is not anti-takeout. She says it’s sometimes a necessity and takes the pressure off.

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Win Growing up it wasn’t even called family dinner. It was just dinner.

Now it has a name. We have to ‘do’ family dinner. It all contributes to the pressure.

Photos: Takeout food; © Firescape/Dreamstime.com; Book cover, Contributed.

— Author Jenny Rosenstrach

“Growing up it wasn’t even called family dinner. It was just dinner,” she says. “Now it has a name. We have to ‘do’ family dinner. It all contributes to the pressure.

“It should be something that’s the highlight of our day rather than one more thing we’re not doing well,” she adds.

“The way I’ve always managed to sustain family dinner as a ritual is to break all the rules.

“If you follow all the rules to have a healthy family dinner — sit down every night, all eat the same thing, all of it local, sustainable, organic — there are so many things to be graded on that you feel I can never do that so I’m doing takeout.”

Not that Rosenstrach is anti-takeout. “That’s the way I’ve survived and still cook dinner for the family,” she says.

“When I don’t feel like doing it, I don’t do it. I don’t do things that make dinner a stressful place.” (It’s important to add here that Rosenstrach is married to Andy, a man who cooks, making this couple a fantasy couple for working parents in America. In other words she isn’t responsible for actually implementing dinner 365 days a year for him and their two daughters.)

T

he first ingredient in the family dinner recipe, Rosenstrach says, is good food. “We’re not cooking gourmet meals every night. We’re cooking really simple food. As much as sitting down with the kids is an important thing, the draw is good food. Who doesn’t look forward to a good meal? Once you’re in that mindset, it becomes self-sustaining.”

The recipes in Dinner A Love Story — which is really a “cook-moir” because while it includes 120 recipes, the book also features wonderful essays about eating and family life — reflect Rosenstrach’s belief that simple = good. “The recipes are all those kind of crowd-pleasing family favorites,” she says. “I have no aspiration to be David Chang (chef/owner of the wildly popular Momofuko restaurant group in New York).

I just want food to be easy and real.”

And she wants family dinner — in all its many possible iterations — to be an anchor in a crazy world. “That’s the goal.

To know that that’s always there at the end of the day. It gives every day a purpose.”

HL

a copy of this book!

Go to our Facebook page and tell us your favorite family dinner. We’ll pick a random winner to get Jenny’s new book.

Dinner A Love Story,

by Jenny Rosenstrach, Ecco, 310 pages, $27.99

5

Reasons You Will Love This Book

1

Rosenstrach has a recipe page called Medicine that features her and her husband’s favorite (and sometimes necessary) drinks

2 3

“Glugs of olive oil” is a measurement

Her Venn diagram rationalization of meal-serving in which if even the teensiest bit of one of her daughters’ circles is touching the parents’ they are all “eating the same meal.”

4

Simple, healthy recipes that do not require racing to a gourmet store on your way home from work for unusual herbs or spices

5

The book is straight-forward and honest about what it’s really like to be responsible for feeding a family every night. You’ll have plenty of “Me too!” moments. Oh, it’s funny. Really funny.

 FOR MORE INFORMATION on nutrition and food for children, see our story “A Food Revolution” on page 28.

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

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exercise by cari scribner | photos by tyler murphy

A

ngelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez and Hillary Swank have this in common, and so can you. No, it’s not being chased by paparazzi, and, unfortunately, it’s not earning millions for a Hollywood film. But like these strong, buff movie stars, you can soon look — and feel — like a million bucks doing Krav Maga.

Krav Maga (pronounced “krahv muh-GAH”) has its roots as the official self-defense and fighting system of the Israeli Defense Forces. Training involves drills on protecting yourself from direct combat by kicking, punching, striking or anything else the body uses inherently to fight off attack. Here in the U.S., Krav Maga is required training for members of many law enforcement agencies because it’s an effective self-defense system for potential situations such as dealing with criminals face-to-face. Everyone from U.S. Marines to police to prison guards take the training. The civilian classes also teach people how to defend themselves, but in real-life scenarios on the street, such as being mugged or carjacked.

Protect Yourself and get fit with krav maga

34

Visit timesunion.com/healthylife for our exclusive online video demonstrating the benefits of Krav Maga. Got a smartphone?

Scan the QR code at right to link directly to our HealthyLife videos page on YouTube.

But Krav Maga isn’t about fearing attack, it’s about feeling empowered, physically and mentally. Women taking classes locally use the word “confidence” when talking about their experience with Krav Maga, saying they’re not only physically stronger but feel more capable and assertive during anything stressful life throws their way.

Nicole Crisafulli of Schenectady started Krav Maga classes early last year when she was looking for a new way to improve her fitness level.

“I needed something different,” Crisafulli says. “I heard about Krav Maga through a family member and went online to research it. I’d never done any self-defense before, and I thought it might be overwhelming, but it wasn’t. More than anything, it gave me an immediate sense of confidence. I notice I walk taller and have better self-esteem.” continued on page 36 

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exercise

continued from page 34

Alan Condon, owner of Krav Maga of Albany, says Crisafulli’s experience is not unusual. “Krav Maga harnesses the strength of the body’s natural impulses, so there is a sense of tapping into your inner strength,” Condon says. “Regardless of whether you work out or not, your body will harness its reflexes, and you’ll develop confidence across your entire life.”

E

veryone possesses a strong instinct to protect themselves, so women don’t need to be in exceptional shape to start classes. But practicing the self-defense moves is a total body workout that will quickly tone and strengthen the body, head to toe.

“I’ve had students of all ages, 60s and 70s, and all degrees of fitness come in and get amazing results,” Condon says.

“People have lost upward of 50 pounds or quit smoking.

Krav Maga is an excellent overall fitness regimen.”

Mark Messare agrees. A martial arts instructor for 14 years and a 12-year member of the National Guard, Messare recently added Krav Maga to his business, Aplea Training Academy in Scotia.

As people learn about the benefits of the class, he’s been getting more phone inquiries from those interested in giving it a try.

“It’s really beginning to take off from a fitness standpoint,” Messare says. “But more than that, results come quickly both physically and mentally. You don’t need to be a big strong person. It’s very equalizing for women; they’ll quickly find their inner strength.”

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healthylife

Moves practiced in the classes include fending off blows to the head, striking with the arms, elbows and knees, punching and kicking. Students take turns throwing punches and kicks at instructors or other students, who are heavily padded for safety.

“Even if you’re the one holding the pads up to take the blows, you have to dig in and give resistance, so it’s always strength training,” Condon says. “We’re always moving, not static.”

Messare’s one-hour class is cardio training for the first half hour, with students practicing punches, kicks and strikes. The second 30 minutes is devoted to strengthening and resistance moves. “We mix it up to keep people moving,” Messare says. “It’s a lot more fun than the treadmill or StairMaster.”

Sarah Briggs of Clifton Park has taken classes at Krav Maga of Albany for about a year, and says she’d highly recommend it for dealing with another real-life scenario: stress. “I feel more relaxed and aware of what’s going on in daily activities,” Briggs says. “It’s incredibly physical and it releases so much stress that I feel better between classes.”

Briggs has brought her 5-year-old son, Joshua, to be a spectator at her classes. “After he came with my husband to watch, Joshua asked to do it himself,” Briggs says. “He has a lot of energy and loves activity, so I think it will be great for him.”

Adults can tap into that sense of energy and excitement, too. “It feels great after a rough day at the office to go punch something,” Crisafulli says. “It’s definitely a great workout that doesn’t involve countless sit-ups. I never think about quitting; I want to see how far I can go.”

As his class sizes grow, Messare looks forward to the unique bonding that comes with people helping foster one another’s self-esteem. “Krav Maga is non-competitive; there’s such camaraderie knowing we’re all in this together,” Messare says. “We see everyone’s physical results and growth in knowledge and confidence. That’s what it’s all about.” HL

 ALAN CONDON, owner and instructor at Krav Maga of Albany

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women’s health

The Gynecologists I can’t ask about that!!

Are In too embarrassed to ask something? we aren’t!

by melissa fiorenza

C

all it what you may — fear, discomfort, embarrassment — but when it comes to pressing our feet onto those shiny stirrups while answering a checklist of inquiries about our ladyparts, it can get a little tough to speak candidly when your doc finally asks you if you have any questions. But truth is, if there’s one place you should feel comfortable doing so, it’s right there in that room. So before your next visit, make a list and ask away — but in the meantime, we’ll do the talking. HealthyLife asked local gynecologists some of the most embarrassing questions and common topics we could think of.

Here’s the download. continued on page 40

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women’s health

continued from page 38

The topic: When sex hurts See a doctor if it persists, says Dr. Hania Stawowy of Albany Obstetrics & Gynecology.

Referred to as dysparunia, it’s a complaint women don’t often discuss with their physician, she says. Oftentimes, you may just need more lubrication. Other potential etiologies, according to Stawowy, include: vulvodynia, vaginal infections, bladder infections, and endometriosis, among others. The point is if you don’t ask, you can’t get help.

“

“

Ever since I had my last child, it hurts when we have sex. Is there anything I do about it?

The topic: Tampon troubles

Eek! I can’t remember if I removed my tampon. What do I do?

This is actually quite common, says Dr. Naomi Bloomfield of OB/GYN Health Center Associates of Community Care Physicians, which has locations in Troy, Rensselaer and Clifton Park. “The usual story is that someone comes in with a complaint of an ugly discharge with an odor, or sometimes the woman cannot remember if she removed the last tampon at the end of her period.

I place the speculum and there it is: the dreaded lost tampon. I easily remove it with a forceps. There is usually no pain. Then I rinse out the vagina with peroxide and the patient is cured!” Bloomfield adds that she has seen tampons left in for days or weeks, and although Toxic Shock Syndrome is a worry, it’s fortunately not very common.

The topic: Incontinence

“

When I was jumping through the tires at boot camp class last week, I peed a little! I don’t want it to happen again.

What should I do?

This problem can become more common after child bearing and with increasing age, says Dr. Bloomfield, who says there are different types. While some women typically lose urine with coughing, sneezing or heavy physical exercise, others experience frequency and urgency issues. “Treatment is available for all types of incontinence, but first the proper diagnosis must be made,” she says.

“Sometimes the problem is obvious,

40

healthylife

but sometimes a full workup must be performed that includes avoiding dairy and taking a test called urodynamics.” Long story short?

“If you are having a problem with incontinence, be sure to discuss it with your gynecologist or your primary care physician.”

The topic: Lack of libido A 2006 PRESIDE (Prevalence of Female Sexual Problems Associated with Distress and Determinants of Treatments) study found that low libido is the most common sexual health issue among females — and according to a 2011 online survey by the popular online dating site Zoosk.com, 73 percent of women would rather watch the Super Bowl than have sex. So, no, you’re not alone!

“

My significant other tells me I have a low sex drive. Is there something wrong with me?

“We know that in women, libido or sex drive is a complex interplay of both psychological as well as physical factors,” says Dr. Helen Vu of Albany Obstetrics & Gynecology. So here’s what she wants to know: “First, we want to consider physical situations that may truly decrease sex drive,” says Vu. “Is our patient on an anti-depressant or birth control pill?” Vu says birth control pills can actually decrease sex drive because they reduce the amount of circulating active testosterone in the blood stream. “Second,” she adds, “we would want to know about her relationship with her significant other and how she perceives herself. If our patient recently gained 40 pounds and sees herself as less desirable, she may not be interested in sex. If she no longer likes her boyfriend because he is demeaning or abusive, her sex drive will also disappear.”

And lastly, Dr. Vu wants to know more about the couple’s expectations of each other. “Men will become aroused after 5 to 10 minutes of foreplay. Female sexual arousal takes about 30 minutes. So, it’s also sometimes a matter of re-calibrating expectations.”

Photos/Illustrations: iStockphotos.com; Woman in waiting room, © Spiderstock; Speech bubbles, © Electric_Crayon.

NOTE: The topics discussed below are illustrative of frequently asked questions, and are not intended to represent actual communications between doctors and patients.

The topic: Test worries First, don’t panic. Literally millions of women receive news of an abnormal Pap smear every year — and it doesn’t automatically mean cancer. “When a Pap comes back abnormal, our job as gynecologists is to ask: ‘Is this likely to be severe dysplasia or cancer?’” says Dr. Vu. “If a pap comes back as ASCUS (Atypical Squamous Cells of What Undetermined Signifihappens when cance), we can now my Pap comes test for the presence or absence of high back abnormal? risk HPV. ASCUS with negative high risk HPV is considered a normal pap. ASCUS with positive high risk HPV is considered an abnormal pap and a colposcopy/biopsy should be considered. If the Paps show LGSIL or HGSIL, this means there is likely to be mild, moderate or severe dysplasia. We would then schedule our patients for a colposcopy and biopsies,” explains Dr. Vu. Based on those results, your doctor can confirm the severity level. Good news? Mild and moderate dysplasia can be monitored with more frequent Pap smears. Severe dysplasia, however, is considered to be precancerous, and therefore, a part of the cervix must be removed, usually with an in-office procedure called a LEEP procedure, says Dr. Vu.

“

“

Do I smell… down there?

The topic: Vaginal odor

The most common cause of a fishy vaginal odor is Bacterial Vaginosis, or BV — which can also cause a gray, itchy discharge, says Dr. Bloomfield. And no, it’s not an STD and can be easily diagnosed under a microscope. Bloomfield explains: “BV is an imbalance in the normal bacteria that inhabits the vagina. It can be caused by douching or anything that can affect the normal vaginal flora (e.g. taking antibiotics).” Since partners usually share the same body flora, if one partner has it, then usually the other person has it, too (male or female), she says. “The odor of BV is more noticeable the higher the pH of the vagina. Since semen has a high pH, the odor can become more intense with heterosexual intercourse and ejaculation.”

This is when it can become pretty embarrassing. The solution? “If a female goes to the gynecologist and gets medicine to treat the BV, she can eradicate the problem,” says Bloomfield. “However, if she has intercourse with her partner who is not treated, the BV will recur. Therefore it is important that both individuals in the relationship receive treatment simultaneously.”

HL

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ask the doc

Fat Facts

dealing with childhood obesity by brianna snyder | photo by colleen ingerto

T  DR. ABIGAIL WATSON, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Albany Medical Center

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healthylife

oday’s much-discussed childhood obesity epidemic has many scapegoats. Videogames. Fast food. High-fructose corn syrup. Growth hormones.

Any — and all of them, depending on which study you’re reading — are responsible for the fact that 1 in 3 American children between the ages of 2 and 19 are overweight or obese (meaning they’re in the 85th percentile of the growth chart), according to the American Heart Association. And 70 percent of overweight and obese kids grow up to be overweight and obese adults.

Dr. Abigail Watson specializes in childhood obesity at the Albany Medical Center’s General Pediatric Group, where she primarily sees overweight and obese patients.

She will be among the panelists at the free HealthyLife seminar Feed Me Right!, to be held Oct. 2 at the Desmond Hotel and Conference Center (see box for details.)

The obvious challenge for parents (and doctors) of heavy children is putting children on a “diet.” Just as adults feel remorse and shame, restricted and punished over the idea of dieting, so, too, do children.

The first step is focusing on lifestyle rather than a specific diet. “What I really try to do with families is not put the children on some sort of crash diet,” Watson says. “I don’t focus on what they need to lose in cutting out this and cutting out that and restricting to this many calories.

That’s not really helpful, especially for kids. I give them the information they need to try to build a healthy lifestyle for the rest of their lives.”

TOP THREE TIPS

to prevent childhood obesity

START HERE. Go Anywhere.

• Start at a young age. “If you wait until they’re 13 or 15” to try to implement healthful living, “they’re going to fight it,” Dr. Abigail Watson says.

• Exercise without exercising. “It doesn’t have to be taking them to the gym,” the doctor says. “But when they get home from school, send them outside to play for an hour and then come in to eat dinner and do homework.”

• Stay away from sugary drinks. “Juice, soda, sports drinks like Gatorade or the Brisk iced teas … if you drink even two or three of those a day, that’s like 400 extra calories you don’t need. They say if you eat 100 extra calories a day beyond what you need, it amounts to a 10-pound weight gain a year. It really adds up.”

Watson has seen children as young as 4 come in for weight management, which, the doctor says, can be frightening but also hopeful. “You have that much more time to get them on the right track,” she says.

The key to avoiding these issues — and Watson notes that some parents can’t tell if their kids are actually overweight — is to start early with good eating habits. Changing the snacking routine of a young teenager is always tougher than helping a toddler make better choices.

A good place to start is with liquids. One of the common parenting misconceptions is that young children need or should have juice, Watson says, noting that most juice is high in sugar. Really, children just need water. “Simple little things like that make a difference,” she says.

Regular exercise is important to start early as well.

Making sure your kids get outside to play and that they eat fresh fruits and vegetables instead of prepackaged or fast foods are other good steps to take, Watson says.

“It’s not supposed to be a restricted lifestyle,” she says. “There’s going to be parties and holidays and you’re going to have treats. My goal is to help (kids) find a healthier lifestyle.”

HL

HealthyLife seminar: Feed Me Right!

Oct. 2, 5-7 p.m., at The Desmond Sponsored by Albany Medical Center

Join Albany Med experts, Dr. Jennifer Lindstrom and Dr. Abigail Watson, as they discuss what you can do to help your children get active, eat healthy and make smart choices that will follow them into adulthood. The seminar is free but pre-registration is required. All registrants will be automatically entered to win a girls’ getaway from the Cranwell Resort and Spa in Lenox, Mass. To register, visit timesunion.com/healthylife.

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mental health

Brain Drain how you can try to avoid alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia by elizabeth floyd mair

44

healthylife

Memory Center in Bennington, Vt. — two premier sites in our area for diagnosis, treatment and clinical trials — were positive and encouraging in their answers. So was Gretchen Moore-Simmons, a professional development specialist with the Alzheimer’s Association of Northeastern New York, our local chapter of the national nonprofit organization that provides education and support for people diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and for their families and caregivers.

Here are some of the practical steps they recommend people take to keep their brains as healthy as possible:

Healthy aging Dr. Cynthia A. Murphy, executive director of the Memory Center in Bennington, Vt., starts by saying, only half-joking, that “the single best way you can prevent getting Alzheimer’s disease is to stay young. I don’t know about you,” she says, “but I haven’t quite figured out how to do that. I am actively looking into it.”

In fact, she says, aging is the single greatest risk factor for developing Alzheimer’s, even greater than genetic risk, she says. She recommends healthy aging as a way to try to prevent various forms of dementia, including Alzheimer’s, or at least lessen their impact.

Photo: © iStockphoto.com/Lilli Day.

I

t’s been called “the long goodbye.” Few diseases are more frightening than Alzheimer’s — a cruel form of dementia that eats away at memory and cognition until a patient is unable to remember his or her own personal history or to recognize close family members or old friends.

The concern over this disease is only increasing as baby boomers — a generation actively (some might suggest futilely) trying to avoid aging — reach the age when Alzheimer’s begins to occur. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, the number of adults aged 65 and older with Alzheimer’s disease in New York state is expected to increase from 320,000 adults in 2010 to 350,000 in 2025.

Not surprisingly, just as boomers exercise and eat better than their parents, all in an effort to stave off aging, they’re also hoping to find the right mix to prevent mental decline.

It’s hard to open a magazine or click online without coming up with the latest “brain teaser” to possibly offset Alzheimer’s. Sudoku anyone?

What’s unknown and open for medical debate, however, is whether or how much preventive measures actually help.

We spoke to some local experts about what — if anything — we can do to try to prevent Alzheimer’s. Doctors at both the Alzheimer’s Center of Albany Medical Center and the

“At this moment what we say about Alzheimer’s disease,” Dr. Murphy says, “is if it’s good for your heart, it’s good for your head. Literally everything your grandmother told you was right. Eat well, stay at a good weight, exercise regularly, don’t smoke, and don’t drink too much.” What’s more, she adds, the earlier these healthy habits can be started, the better. Alzheimer’s disease is often seen together with another form of dementia, called vascular dementia. “Vascular dementia is something that you definitely can do quite a lot to prevent,” Murphy says, by keeping the circulatory system healthy. That means controlling blood pressure and cholesterol levels, maintaining a healthy weight and managing diabetes.

Gretchen Moore-Simmons of the Alzheimer’s Association agrees that while no plan guarantees you won’t get Alzheimer’s, a healthy lifestyle can’t hurt. “There are some studies that suggest that a healthy lifestyle may help to, if not prevent the disease, delay symptoms.

Take B vitamins

Get your heart rate going

Treat depression

“One thing I always suggest is aerobic exercise, getting the heart rate up,” says Dr. Earl Zimmerman, director of the Alzheimer’s Center of Albany Medical Center. “A Seattle study a couple of years ago showed that aerobic exercise of 45 minutes, four days a week made a difference. I’ve been suggesting that to patients, or even 30 minutes five days a week, which is what I try to do myself and which is the amount recommended by the president’s council and the American Diabetes Association.”

Patients who have cognitive complaints together with type 2 diabetes need to take additional care, he says. “It turns out that insulin is used by the brain, like everything else, and insulin resistance — which is the problem with diabetes type 2 — really promotes the problem with amyloid.” Amyloid, he explains, is a protein that becomes abnormal in Alzheimer’s disease, contributing to brain deterioration.

Zimmerman mentions a small study done at the University of Oxford last year on the effect of B vitamins — B12, B6, and folic acid — on patients with mild cognitive impairment.

The study showed, he says, that those who took B vitamins for two years had slower disease progression than those who didn’t. “And the rate of atrophy on brain scan was cut in half,” he adds. “That impressed me. It was a small study, but why not? So I recommend B vitamins as well. They’re all available over the counter.”

The dosages used in the study, he says, were 500 micrograms of B-12; 25 milligrams of B-6; and 800 micrograms of folic acid.

And he doesn’t only recommend these vitamins to others.

“I take those supplements myself. I’m 75 years old, and 25 percent of the people my age have Alzheimer’s. I’m trying to ward this off myself.”

It’s also important, Murphy says, to reduce stress. “When cognitive problems are caused by depression or anxiety, they’re very treatable.”

About 50 percent of the patients that come in to the Memory Center for memory screening are women in their 50s, she says. In many cases, they don’t have true, lasting memory problems, but they do have stressors that can temporarily compound the natural changes in cognition associated with aging. These include — in addition to depression — retirement, empty nesting, marital/relationship changes, health status changes including menopause, sleep issues, and caring for aging parents and children simultaneously.

“When these stressors are managed better, people improve,” Murphy says.

Signs You May Have a Problem

they used to handle on their own.

These are just a few of the 10 signs of cognitive impairment that could be a result of Alzheimer’s. It’s important to make a list of any concerns you have and bring it with you to your doctor.

• Confusion with time or place: Losing track of dates, seasons and the passage of time. People with Alzheimer’s may forget where they are or how they got there.

• Memory loss that disrupts daily life: Forgetting recently learned information. Asking for the same information over and over. People with Alzheimer’s may begin to rely on memory aids (such as reminder notes) or family members for tasks

• New problems with words in speaking or writing: People with Alzheimer’s may have trouble following or joining a conversation. They may stop midconversation and have no idea how to continue. They may struggle

continued on page 47 

with vocabulary or call things by the wrong name (for example, calling a watch a “hand clock”).

• Misplacing items and losing the ability to retrace steps: People with Alzheimer’s may put items in unusual places. They may lose things and be unable to retrace their steps to find them.

For the rest of the 10 warning signs, visit alz.org or call 800-272-3900.

— Source: Alzheimer’s Association

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

45

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mental health More Steps Toward Brain Health Jean Carper, a bestselling author and a well-known writer on health, nutrition and natural remedies, has written a book called 100 Simple Things You Can Do to Prevent Alzheimer’s and Age-Related Memory Loss that offers a refreshingly proactive approach to a frightening disease.

On the first page Carper writes that her book does not offer a definitive way to avoid the disease but instead should be seen as a guide to measures that “may help prevent Alzheimer’s.” She also writes that many experts she has interviewed believe that they will one day “conquer Alzheimer’s” and find an antidote or a cure, something that may “one day magically halt the damage.”

This book is for the meantime.

It offers many practical ideas of ways to increase brain health. Few readers will want to begin to do all of the tips she mentions, but even picking a few and sticking with them may help. It can’t hurt.

A few examples: • Drink apple juice (it can boost the production of acetylcholine in the brain, which is exactly what Aricept, the drug most often prescribed to treat Alzheimer’s symptoms, does).

• Eat berries every day. A Tufts University study suggests that old, cognitively damaged animals suddenly regain memory and motor skills after eating blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries and cranberries, which are all high in antioxidants.

• Grow your brain. Memorize information. Meditate. Take B-6 and B-12 supplements. Get enough Omega-3 fish oil. Take a brisk walk every day. Carper writes, “thousands of neurons are born in the brain daily. By encouraging the birth and survival of these nascent neurons, you can increase the size and intellectual strength of your brain, making it more resistant to memory decline and dementia.”

Photo: © iStockphoto.com/Joselito Briones.

• Consider drinking 400 to 500 mg a day of caffeine. In a study at the Florida Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center, caffeine-spiked water slowed the rate of development of Alzheimer’s in mice with a high genetic risk for the disease; it also seems to have improved memory and cognition in mice in the throes of Alzheimer’s.

• Don’t be lonely. Carper cites a Rush University study that found loneliness to be “a prime predictor of Alzheimer’s.”

The author of that study speculates that loneliness may somehow damage neural systems, and particularly brain cells. Reach out to family and friends. Arrange or attend parties. As Carper writes, “Don’t let a brain die of loneliness.”

 100 Simple Things You Can Do to Prevent Alzheimer’s and Age-Related Memory Loss, by Jean Carper, Little, Brown and Company, 336 pages, $13.99

continued from page 45

If you’re worried, get tested early Talk to your primary care physician about any concerns you have about your changing memory or cognition. (See sidebar on warning signs.) Ask for a referral to an expert who can do screening and diagnosis.

Dr. Zimmerman says that while some people who begin to experience changes in cognition or memory deal with them head-on, most people prefer to ignore the changes. “When we get some real form of treatment for Alzheimer’s disease, that’s going to make a huge difference in the way people feel about early testing,” he says.

“But I still think it’s worth doing. Early testing can help people to maximize their function over those next years.

I always put a positive spin on it. I tell people, ‘You’re going to be fine for the next five years.’ I can make them function better by treating their depression or their diabetes, or whatever treatable conditions they may have, and by helping them to do important planning.”

Murphy says that memory screens at her clinic are free of charge. “We are committed to early detection and treatment and don’t want finances to impede access to a memory screen.”

Diagnosis makes it possible to take part in clinical trials. There are many ongoing trials, for instance, of medications that aim to slow disease progression.

Murphy believes that trials should give patients and their families some cause for optimism. She points out that all the current FDA-approved drugs documented to be effective once started out in clinical trials. “Clearly,” she says, “the people who took those drugs in clinical trials must have benefitted.”

Additionally, she says many medications now available to treat Alzheimer’s symptoms seem to work better the earlier they’re started. “There is some evidence,” she says, “to suggest that the earlier people begin treatment, the better they do in the long run.”

HL

FOR More information: • Call the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline: 1-800-272-3900 • Visit the Northeastern New York chapter website: alz.org/northeasternny

timesunion.com/HealthyLife

47

nail health

Nail Envy A

by wendy page

ny woman — or man — taking the time to get a manicure and/or pedicure wants one result: a relaxing, indulgent experience that ends with lovely nails, hands and/or feet. What they don’t want is an infection.

Ensuring that you leave a salon with only the polish you select rather than unwanted germs is a matter of taking some precautions and doing a little homework. While price can be an easy indicator in some lines of business, costs here can vary greatly, making it a trickier indicator. The least expensive places aren’t necessarily a sign that corners — or in this case your cuticles — will be improperly cut. You need to go where you have a connection to the manicurist, where you can communicate your needs and know those needs will be met.

Here are some tips to nail the best possible mani/pedi so that your whole look is, well, polished.

own implements; others use implements once and then give them to clients to take home. Still others require clients to purchase their own implements, which they hold in the salon, while other salons store implements they’ve provided in a box labeled with the client’s name so she is the only person to use them.

Ask questions about sanitary practices. Nail fungus and bacterial infections affect millions of people each year, and some are not easily treatable. Implement sanitization is one way to stop the spread of infections.

Comiskey is amazed at “how so many consumers don’t do their homework. They have no idea how much harm can come to them. There’s no end to what type of infection they can pick up with someone who’s not cleaning their implements properly.”

• Look for a clean, sanitary environment – not just for aesthetics but rather for health and safety. “Book an appointment and look around first,” advises Kimberley Comiskey, a self-professed fanatic on cleanliness and owner of Kimberley’s A Day Spa. The floor and tables should be free of nail clippings and debris. Implements (nail clippers, cuticle pushers) should be cleaned thoroughly between clients, using a heating system (an autoclave) or soaked in a solution such as Barbicide (the blue disinfectant in the glass jars), and stored in a closed container.

• Watch the water. Having sanitary water in the foot whirlpool is critical to preventing infection. Higher-end salons now use pipeless technology in their pedicure chairs and don’t recirculate the water. Both you and your technician should also wash hands prior to the service.

• Consider your implements. The options here are as varied as the salons themselves. Some allow clients to bring their

48

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• Smart polish. Some salons add thinner to their polish, which enables it to go on more smoothly. It also lessens the durability of the polish, breaking down its integrity. Some salons allow clients to bring in their own polish, ensuring that the polish hasn’t been thinned, that the brush hasn’t touched anyone else’s hands, and that you have extra polish in case of chipping.

Photo: © Valua Vitaly/Dreamstime.com.

getting the best mani/pedi

Gavin Setzen, MD Lawrence S. Kaufman, MD Siobhan Kuhar, MD Nora Perkins, MD John Gavin, MD Robert T. Adelson, MD

• Look for the license. A nail specialist’s license needs to be clearly displayed. It indicates that she completed a 250-hour, New York state-approved course of study and passed both a written and practical exam to operate in the practice of Nail Specialty. The license is good for four years, so take note of its date.

Some salons go above and beyond the standard licensure. Technicians at Complexions Spa for Beauty & Wellness, for example, are all working toward certification as Master Pedicurists through the North American School of Podology.

While it’s not state-recognized, the advanced training allows technicians to recognize and take precautions when there are certain predicaments (such as diabetes). Similarly, as part of the Professional Beauty Association, a Nail Manufacturers Council, started in 1990 and comprises leading manufacturers of nail care products, tests products, trains and reports on safety and health issues (e.g., toxins in nail polish, ventilation in the salon); a salon that is a member of NMC is letting you know it follows best practices.

• Know what you want. Mani/pedis are as varied as the people’s hands and feet receiving the service. Know what you want when picking a salon. Some specialize in 30-minute mani/pedis where your nails are painted with a little pampering thrown in, while others are less casual and more specialized. “People should come with time to enjoy their procedure,” says Complexions owner Denise Dubois. “Allow time to relax and destress while making the time to be more attractive.”

• Follow smart home care. As with other beauty regimens, nail care requires consistency for the best effect. “For the most part, one mani/pedi isn’t a cure-all,” Comiskey says.

“Put yourself on a schedule like you do a haircut. It’s a maintenance schedule.”

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What’s in for this year’s colors Choosing a color is a personal decision, though there are trends. “The manufacturers drive the trends,” says Kimberly Comiskey of Kimberley’s A Day Spa. “But classic reds, French polishes — they pretty much match everything.”

The bright colors, different colors on each nail, and nail art trends of spring/summer 2012 have made way for the almost-black, dark lacquer colors of fall, as well as the always-flattering minimalist and nude colors. Ombre (graded color from the top to the bottom of the nail) is also on trend for fall. continued on page 51 

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nail health continued from page 49

The Podiatrist Speaks Dr. Tejas R. Pandya of Capital District Podiatry sees the negative effects of problem pedicures regularly in his practice. “If the salon isn’t sanitary, people may need antibiotics, possible hospitalization or surgery,” Pandya says. “You can get fungus in your toenails. You can have ingrown toenails that need to be treated. You can get a staph infection. You can get warts if they’re not sanitary places.”

His first tip is to put off a pedicure if you have any kind of open sore. “Nail dust can get into the wound,” he says. “It’s back to sanitation. You don’t really know if the instruments have been autoclaved.”

For that reason, Pandya recommends taking your own implements: “You clean them and can be 100 percent certain they’re sanitary.”

People with poor circulation, neuropathy or on dialysis are considered medically high-risk for a pedicure because their immune system is weakened and they are more prone to infection. “I am completely against pedicures for diabetics because they can get an infection in their blood,” Pandya says, “which can become serious.” Diabetics can get their toes painted, he says, but never the full manicure with cuticles clipped and dry skin cut off.

While antifungal nail polishes are available through a prescription from your doctor, Pandya says the bottom line is that “you need to be prudent in where you go and what you do.”

Prolonging the Effects of Your Mani/Pedi • Other than quick-drying polish, polish from professional mani/pedis can take up to 12 hours to fully dry. Don’t go from a mani/pedi straight to doing manual labor with your hands.

• Ask your technician help you get your car keys!

• Your nail technician should have spent time getting lotion into every nook and cranny; maybe she used paraffin dips to lock in moisture. You should keep hydrated at home with moisturizers, and protect your skin with sunscreen.

• If you’re a skilled DIY polisher, apply a topcoat to your manicured/pedicured nails every other day or so to prevent chipping, especially at the top of the nail. Do it carefully — you can smudge the polish underneath, or if you put it on too heavily, the polish may peel right off.

• Apply cuticle oil nightly to protect your skin and prevent polish from chipping.

• Wait at least two weeks between mani/pedis. Getting your nails done too often can cause the nails to strip and can harm the cuticles.

• Wear gloves when doing dishes or cleaning.

• Don’t leave polish on for longer than two weeks, as it can discolor your nail.

What? You’ve Never Had a Mani/Pedi?

Photo: © iStockphoto.com/Denis Raev.

Here’s what to expect The best mani/pedis include nail shaping (the optimum, by the way, is to file in only one direction so as not to strip the nail), cuticle care (lotion, pushing the cuticle back off the nail, and trimming), exfoliating dry skin (especially on dry heels), and applying a bottom coat under the polish plus a top coat. Most mani/pedis include a soothing hand and leg massage (stimulating blood flow; all the better if reflexology is included), exfoliating lotions that strip dead skin and improve the texture of skin and nails, and a massage chair and/ or a back massage.

HL

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Sister Act

why our siblings let us down by emma tennant

Photo: © iStockphoto.com/Lise Gagne.

H

ere’s a problem posed by a reader of this column.

Once upon a time, there were two sisters. The oldest sister, Jane, was hard-working and responsible, and she looked after her younger sister, Cassandra, who had trouble in school, and fell into drugs, tears and boys. The pattern continued into adulthood. Jane married and Cassandra would crash on her couch when she lost her job or when the latest thin, dangerous guitar player pushed her to the curb. Jane was always there for Cassandra with a bed, a few hundred bucks, and a shoulder to cry on.

Fast forward a decade and Cassandra got her act together. She started teaching at a university. The new man in her life is a well-respected, mature academic. They live in a towering Victorian house in a leafy college town. Does Cassandra want to see Jane? Nope. Won’t even speak to her. She’s broken off all contact. “It’s like I don’t exist. I was always there for her, and now that she’s got her life together, I might as well be dead,” Jane wrote. “What should I do?”

I don’t think anything is quite as hurtful as the betrayal we feel when one of our brothers or sisters lets us down.

Husbands will leave us. Children break our hearts. Parents … well, don’t get me started on what they do to us. But somehow we expect our brothers and sisters to be on our side.

Yet often they aren’t.

One man I see in my practice — a proper and dynamic Internet developer — gets into fistfights with total strangers in bars. “I’m so angry and I don’t know why,” was what he said when he came in the door. It didn’t take long to discover the culprit: His older brother sadistically tortured him throughout his childhood while his parents turned their backs. This poor little boy grew up in terror of being alone in his house with another, slightly older, even angrier little boy from whom he could not escape.

I

t’s a jungle out there, and we first learn that in the struggle for limited love and approval with our siblings. I used to work on a farm, and if you’ve ever seen newborn piglets fighting for a feeding station on the belly of a sow you will have seen nature at its most pitiless. Trust me, the weak ones will die without human intervention, and its cute little wriggly brothers and sisters could care less. Very often, as we age, we gloss over the conflicts and savage rivalries of the house we grew up in, but they are still there, and in the

case of Cassandra and Jane, it only takes a twist in circumstance to bring them back to life.

My guess is that while Jane went through life feeling as though she were “looking after” Cassandra, Cassandra was going through life watching Jane win every prize, get all the credit and approval, always landing on top. To Jane, her willingness to lend a hand to Cassandra felt like virtue. But from Cassandra’s point of view, life was a struggle for survival and Jane was always the winner, or so it seemed.

Now that Cassandra has stability and status, the last thing she wants is for Jane to come along and ruin it, take it away, lord it over her, just as she always has. I’m not saying either point of view is the true one. I’m saying that we may think we share a life with our siblings, but in truth we are actors in different movies and most of us want to be the star of our own show, don’t we? We may accept a sidekick now and then, but at the peak of the drama, we want the camera on us.

Speaking of which, I saw a Fellini film when I was in college. An actress talked in the foreground. In the background was a baby carriage. Out of the corner of the frame, a boy crept up on the baby carriage carrying a brick. He is just about to drop the brick on the baby when his mother rushes up, smacks him, and pulls him out of the frame. In one little aside — just for fun — Fellini says all there is to say.

Yes of course there are great, deep, life-long loves between siblings, and our brothers and sisters are often the only people we can count on in this long life.

But don’t feel that you are somehow out of step if you find yourself feeling bitter disappointment with your siblings.

We were always competitors as well as friends. My advice to Jane, incidentally, was to do nothing. I think it is time for her to digest the realities of these two different perspectives on shared history, accept the disappointment, and take off the crown of virtue. One day, perhaps, Cassandra and Jane will be friends again, but I think it’s best to accept that the competition will never really end and that there are two movies here, not one.

HL Emma Tennant (not her real name) is a practicing psychotherapist and a former waitress. All advice offered here is simply that. If you have a pressing concern, you should see a specialist in person. If you have a question you’d like addressed or a comment for Emma, send it to askemma@timesunion.com. Inquiries will be treated with confidentiality.

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parenting

The Future is

Now

expert advice to help you raise the next generation for success by jayne keedle

H

ere’s a not-so-breaking-news flash: The world is changing, and at a rate so fast that it’s hard for adults to keep pace. For those of us who remember watching the lunar landing — or watching it appear on the screen to launch MTV — the fast-paced digital world of Snookie and Jersey Shore, of Twitter and texting and Facebook “friends” can seem like an entirely different planet.

For our kids, of course, this is the way life has always been. They’ve never known a world without Google and where communication isn’t just instant, it’s continuous. For parents, though, it can feel a bit as if we’re living with aliens or, at the very least, as if we’re living on an alien planet that we’re just now learning to navigate.

The big question for many, then, is how to raise our children to prepare them for a world that is likely to be different from the one we grew up in. And the answer to that is, say the experts we contact, actually quite simple: You teach them the basics. continued on page 58 

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57

parenting Teach your child the value of being a good friend.

continued from page 57

 Let Your Kids Be Kids

58

healthylife

 Let Your Children Learn From Their Mistakes

As a career counselor, Suzanne O’Connor, associate director of Siena College Career Center, says she sees young people every day who lack the ability to make an independent decision and who are so afraid of failure that they don’t even try.

This phenomenon has become so prevalent, O’Connor says, that she recently heard the president of a prominent women’s college announce plans to hold a “Failure Conference,” to invite successful people to talk to students about their own failures so students can learn that it’s possible to overcome the hurdles that trip them up.

“One of the most valuable, but painful, life experiences is making mistakes,” says O’Connor. “Many parents today protect their children from the repercussions of their mistakes. Allow your children to fail and then guide them in problem solving and decision making, so they learn that they will come out on the other side. Life, indeed, does go on.”

 Kids Need to Know How to Cope — Because Life Isn’t Fair Parents naturally want to protect their children but parents do their children a disservice if they try to protect them from disappointment. Children should be encouraged to believe they are capable of achieving anything, but they need to understand that they aren’t always going to succeed and that it’s okay if they don’t, as long as they learn from the mistakes they make.

Photos: Dreamstime.com; Toddler with parents, © Crazy80frog; Group of friends, © Monkey Business Images; Teen with phone, © Darko64; Children playing, © Julie Campbell; Girl with laundry, © iStockphoto.com/Kim Gunkel.

Yes, we live in a competitive envi Foster a Love ronment. Yes, we know the economy of Learning is tight and the competition for jobs today is global. Nowadays, even in Kids are passionate about all sorts of kindergarten, there seems to be more things, from dinosaurs to baseball. Enpressure on kids to succeed and the courage them to pursue their passions bar is always being raised. That’s not but don’t allow them to get lost in fannecessarily a bad thing but it’s imtasies that they’re going to be the next portant to remember that kids need Serena Williams or Justin Bieber — at to be kids. No matter what is hapleast, not unless they’re prepening in the adult world, childhood pared to work very hard is not and should not be a highand expect to be pressure environment. very lucky.

“If the first or second Teach “Support your thought that you have about independence, children’s pasany decision is, ‘How will sions, such as how not to rely on this look on your college in sports or application?’ it’s probably you for everything, music.

But not a good idea,” so they know how teach them says Kim Panato consider a to make decisions ro, Bethlehem backup plan Middle School when decisions are for life. Not all social worker. called for. can make it to “Our kids need professional levels. to learn to enjoy Guide them in develthe moment and oping their minds as well not feel the same as their jump shot,” says pressure that we Scott Stacey, retired high grew up with to school music teacher and get ahead. Kids tennis coach. need to be en“Teach your kids to care couraged to live about learning. This is one in the moment of those basics that hasn’t and not worry changed, even with the adso much about vance of technology and what is coming. the increased pace of life “Don’t overin the 21st Century. Educaschedule your tion is what they make of kids. Give them it,” he says. “Don’t feel you choices about have to send your children to the most what they are doing,” Panaro says. “If expensive college on the planet. They they don’t enjoy an activity any longer, can attend a $100,000 a year school, let them stop. Healthy kids need a good but it comes down to the effort of the amount of downtime, time to relax and student, not the desire of the parent or re-group, to stare at the ceiling.” the impact of the social network.”

Teach your kids not to confuse the Internet and virtual worlds with real-time living.

“Failure is a wonderful opportunity for learning as long as we focus more on the journey than the outcome,” says Karner Associates Family Therapist Laura Tice of Guilderland. “Many well-meaning parents focus more on the grade on a test than the cost to their child, and family, to achieve that grade. I know the value of a good education in today’s world but I also know the utmost necessity of balance. Living in any extreme is unhealthy and contributes to a great majority of the problems that bring children and families into my office. Living a life that is filled with too much worry and not enough fun is a much bigger concern, in the long run, than not making the honor roll is.”

“Another important lesson that young people need to know is that life is difficult, sometimes even unfair, and

that hard work does not always yield the result that we hoped for,” adds Tice.

“Therapists refer to the skills necessary to deal with this as ‘distress tolerance.’

I believe it is the responsibility of adults and parents to teach these lessons to our young people in a supportive, honest, and loving manner. Distress tolerance helps to keep our young people hopeful in the face of life’s chal-

Give your child time to PLAY!

lenges. Remembering not to ‘sweat the small stuff’ (and most of what we worry about really is just that!) helps us to achieve balance and prepares our children to become happy, healthy adults.”

 Encourage Children to be Curious, Flexible, Hardworking, and Positive Children are naturally inquisitive and should be encouraged to always seek out new learning experiences. Teach them to be flexible, because they’ll need to be able to adapt to the many changes that are likely to occur in their lifetime. They should be willing to take the initiative and eager to embrace new challenges, but they also need to understand they will need to work hard to achieve their goals.

“Accomplishing things takes time and hard work. My mother used to call it ‘stick-to-it-tiveness,’” says Linda M. Krzykowski, PhD, asst. vice provost for student engagement, University at Albany. “The world is not really organized to ensure their success but this actually makes the success they achieve more meaningful.”

And if they can learn do all that with a positive attitude and a smile, she says, “Everyone they interact with will appreciate them, and they might enjoy their journey a whole lot more.” HL

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59

A DV E R T I S E M E N T

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magine how your life would change if you discovered the solution to your back pain.

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How Science Helps Back Pain The lower back is a series of bones separated by shock absorbers called “discs”.

When these discs go bad because of age or injury you can have pain. For some the pain is just annoying, but for others it can be life changing...and not in a good way.

It has long been thought that if these discs could be helped in a natural and noninvasive way, lots of people with back and leg pain could lower the amount of pain medication they take, be given fewer epidural injections for the pain and have less surgery.

Recent medical breakthroughs have led to the development of advanced technologies to help back and leg pain suffers!

Through the work of a specialized team of physicians and medical engineers, a medical manufacturing company, now offers this space age technology in its incredible DRX 9000 Spinal Decompression equipment.

The DRX 9000 is FDA cleared to use with the pain and symptoms associated with herniated and/or bulging discs. . . even after failed surgery.

What Conditions Has The DRX 9000 Successfully Treated And Will It Help YOU? The main conditions the DRX 9000 has success with are: • • • •

Back pain Sciatica Spinal Stenosis Herniated and/or bulging discs (single or multiple) • Degenerative disc disease • A relapse or failure following surgery • Facet syndromes A very important note: The DRX 9000 has been successful even when NOTHING else has worked.

Even after failed surgery.

What Are Treatments On The DRX 9000 Like?

After being fitted with an automatic shoulder support system, you simply lie face up on the DRX 9000’s comfortable bed and the advanced computer system does the rest.

Patients describe the treatment as a gentle, soothing, intermittent pulling of your back. Many patients actually fall asleep during treatment.

The really good news IS... this is not something you have to continue to do for the rest of your life. So it is not a big commitment.

Since offering the DRX 9000 in my Colonie office, I have seen nothing short of miracles for back pain sufferers who had tried everything else. . . with little or no result.

Many had lost all hope.

Had herniated disk operation 8 years ago another disc became herniated. Doctor wanted to operate have arthritis from 1st one (did not want to go under knife again) very grateful to DRX9000 (thank you Dr. Claude D. Guerra, DC) Very happy camper.

Raymond F Niskayuna, NY Age 55 This treatment was a miracle for my cervical disk herniations. Only other alternative was surgery, which I no longer have to face.

William I Schenectady, NY Age 63

I was told by a doctor I wouldn’t be able to work. I cannot afford to not work so I tried Dr. Claude D. Guerra, DC, and not only did the pain go away but I never missed a day at work.

Rick S Clifton Park, NY Age 42 I would love to shake the hand of the person who invented this machine. It was a life saver for me and a lot better than going under the knife. I HIGHLY recommend this to anyone with chronic back pain.

Dawn H Colonie, NY Age 49 Before the DRX 9000 treatment. I had no quality of life.

Couldn’t do anything for myself. Thank God for Dr. and the DRX machine. I can live again.

Yvette K Schenectady, NY Age 47 I suffered for three years, before I received treatment on the DRX 9000. Today, I can sleep and get out of bed like a normal human being. Before, I couldn’t even drive my car because the pain in my hips, legs and feet were so bad from the sciatica nerve being pinched by my Herniated Disc L4 and L5, which also prevented me from sitting in a chair or even using my computer lap top at any time. Today things have changed due to advance technology therapy on the DRX 9000. They always try

A DV E R T I S E M E N T I would definitely refer people to your office. Dr. Guerra and his staff have made this experience a pleasure.

Ed H Hoosick Falls, NY Age 70 Pain free, numbness in the left foot is gone. DRX 9000 is GREAT and does work.

Sal L Niskayuna, NY Age 50

Dr. Claude D. Guerra, DC demonstrates the DRX 9000 to a patient

to regulate the treatments that work. What is up with this taught process???? The world is changing and so have I. Frank A Troy, NY Age 52 Before receiving the DRX treatments, my quality of life was very poor. I could hardly do anything other than going to work and going to bed.

After the DRX treatments my quality of life has improved 90% which has resulted in me being able to go for long walks without a cane and go shopping.

Anne P Burnt Hills, NY Age 70 I am so appreciative of this method of therapy because when I came to the office I had to use a cane and had muscle pain in walking. After 2nd treatment sciatica nerve pain was gone in my left leg.

Judith W Albany, NY Age 64 Prior to this treatment my only options appeared to be invasive pain management, or surgery. After receiving 24 sessions on the DRX, I am markedly improved, relatively pain free and am able to function as I had in previous years. Highly recommend to anyone with disc issues.

Alan P Scotia, NY Age 53 I would choose this therapy again! Painless treatment that gets your life back to

normal. Stick with it-it works!

Linda G Broadalben, NY Age 53 I am so happy I came to Dr. Guerra. I was in a lot of pain and after being on the DRX I tell you I do not have pain. I feel wonderful and the staff are very nice. Dr. Claude D. Guerra, DC is wonderful. If you are in pain try the DRX it really helps.

Edith C Schenectady, NY Age 71 I think more people should know about this procedure before considering any surgery. Medications help the pain but they don’t cure the cause. I am back to my old self again.

Lorraine B Scotia, NY Age 78 I highly recommend this machine. I had my doubts but it really and truly works. Dr. Claude D. Guerra, DC is a wonderful doctor and his staff is great too.

Linda D Clifton Park, NY Age 46 I was extremely skeptical at the beginning of treatments - Progress was slow in coming - But... then it worked!

What a relief!!!

Joan K Delmar, NY Age 71 I had no where else to go with this problem. The DRX 9000 was just what I needed. Many thanks!

Burton S Mechanicville, NY Age 50

I’m able to go on long walks and get all night sleep (I’ve had 3 surgeries since 2006) Without the DRX I would be in for a 4th back surgery. I’m getting back to doing activities with my 10 year old son.

Lisa V Catskill, NY Age 45 I wish to thank you very much for all the help I received with the spinal decompression therapy. Your entire office was very helpful and compassionate. No longer do I sit at night with my heating pads, moving them from sore spot to sore spot. My knees are no longer on fire and I’m able to go up and down the stairs much easier than before.

Mable D Ballston Lake, NY Age 68

SPECIAL OFFER Call Dr. Claude D. Guerra, DC’s office at 518-300-1212 and mention to my assistants that you want a FREE back pain/DRX9000 qualification

consultation. It’s absolutely free with no strings attached.

There is nothing to pay for and you will NOT be pressured to become a patient.

Here is what you will receive: • A consultation with me, Dr. Claude D. Guerra, DC to discuss your problem and answer the questions you may have about back pain and the DRX9000 • A DRX9000 demonstration so you see for yourself how it works! Due to current demand for this technology, I suggest calling today to make your appointment.

The consultation is free.

We are staffed 24-hoursa-day, 7-days-a-week. Call 518-300-1212 right now!

It’s absolutely FREE with no strings attached.

There is ONE Big Problem: My busy office schedule will limit how many people I’m able to personally meet with... so you will need to act fast.

Call 518-300-1212 right now... to be sure you are among the first callers and we will set up your free consultation today. We have the phones answered 7 days a week 24 hours a day so call now...

518-300-1212. (Free consultation is good for 45 days) 2016 Central Ave., Colonie

www.albanyDRX.com

Life@Home is packed with inspiration and advice to help you live your best.

Capital Region Women@Work is the in-print component of an innovative network of local women in managerial and executive positions.

VOW: Your Wedding. Your Way. is the secret to creating your fairytale wedding using local resources.

If you are interested in receiving free home delivery of any of our magazines, please (518) 454-5768 or email magcirculation@timesunion.com.

PLUS! Know what’s going on 24/7 and be part of our community, both on- and offline. Connect with us on all our social platforms, so you never miss a beat!

timesunion.com/magazines • Get online access to exclusive content not found in print • Read our blogs • Sign up for our regular seminars and events

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Behind the Scenes Hair and makeup by Kimberley’s A Day Spa, Latham. Blouse by Sara Michelle, pants by Celebrity Pink, jewelry by Ashley Cooper. Select clothing available at Boscov’s Clifton Park. Photo taken at Central Park in Schenectady by Suzanne Kawola. Central Park in Schenectady shares both its name and its designer with the famous park in New York City. It supports a wide variety of recreation activities for all ages, and also features an acclaimed rose garden.

Visit facebook.com/ healthylifenymagazine to view our Behind the Scenes photo gallery, or scan the QR code at right to link to our HealthyLife photos page on Facebook.

Top Tip: Find something that you love and do it a little bit every day.”

spirit — Cover model Andrea Annese-Como

My Word 65 Just Friends 67 Cover Model Q&A 70

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ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!

I THOUGHT FOOT PAIN WAS SOMETHING I JUST HAD TO LIVE WITH! SOME u

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PAIN IN YOUR FEET AND ANKLES IS NOT SOMETHING YOU JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH. YOUR FEET SHOULD BE HEALTHY AND FUNCTIONAL FOR LIFE!

GET THE ANSWERS YOU NEED Call 1-888-260-8185 or go to www.CapitalDistrictPodiatry.com to request a FREE copy of Tiptoe Your Way to Happy Feet. In this book, I answer ALL your questions and give you the information you need to live the lifestyle you want to live. The call is Free and so is the book.

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my word

Living Up to

superwoman

Photo: © Jonathan Ros/Dreamstime.com.

W

hen my firstborn was three months old, I was convinced the swollen glands on the back of her neck were from a brain tumor. I cried for 24 hours — until the doctor took a look and assured me those swollen glands were the product of my daughter’s ohso-common cradle cap.

I worried my baby wasn’t eating enough; I worried she was eating too much. Was she warm enough? Too hot? Was I holding her enough? Giving her enough down time? Would my going back to work scar her for life?

And then, when she was six months old, I was sure she had carbohydrate malabsorption. Did I know that because I was familiar with the condition? Because someone else in my family has it? Absolutely not! I figured it out — all on my own — after hours of online research.

So we went to the doctor for the 900th time. “Look at me,” the physician said, calmly and quietly taking my hand in hers. “I went to medical school so that you wouldn’t have to worry about carbohydrate malabsorption. Take your daughter home and enjoy her.”

I’ve been trying hard to do that ever since.

The thriving product of a put-you-on-the-bus-everyday, available-on-a-whim-if-you-forget-your-lunch/homework/ science project/goodbye hug, hang-on-your-every-wordabout-your-day kind of mom, my sisters and I were accustomed to the luxury of being at the center of our mom’s universe. The list of sacrifices she made so we could be at activities ranging from Girl Scouts to 5 a.m. swim team workouts — not to mention putting her own college education on hold so we could obtain ours — is seemingly endless.

Mom never forgets a birthday — her cards always arrive on time — and she is almost always wearing something you gave her when you see her. She can tell immediately that something is wrong by the inflection of your voice, and is almost always right about the things you desperately don’t want her to be. Children who can be seen running from strangers at full velocity sit on Mom’s lap without invitation.

Mom has never emerged from a plane ride or a grocery store

by julie foss

checkout line without a new friend whose life story she could recite as if it were her own. I swear she could find something to talk about with a person in a coma. She could take an exam, care for her elderly neighbor, put out the fires of each daughter’s most recent drama, volunteer at Habitat for Humanity, and still have dinner on the table — all in the same day. Oh, and have I mentioned the absence of dust bunnies in her house?

I

n a word, she is Superwoman. And it’s been impossible for me not to compare myself to her. But I’ve recently learned three things that have, I think, returned me to my pre-pregnancy state of mind, not to mention improving the quality of life for my entire family.

The first: Worry and paranoia impede joy. I watched my mom with my daughter one day and realized that my girl is always so happy when they’re together because my mother suspends everything else. She’s not worried about carbohydrate malabsorption when they’re playing. Instead, she revels in the joy of having a beautiful granddaughter and the fun they have together. So I’ve cut myself off from midnight Internet readings about worst-case scenarios and instead use that energy to be present during my time with my daughter. We’re both happier and more joyful as a result.

The second thing I’ve learned is that no better allies in the world exist than other new moms. They’re a resource when you have questions, an empathetic ear when you need to vent, and have their own carbohydrate malabsorption story for every one of yours. If you don’t know other new moms, reach out and find them. Look for local “baby and me” types of classes or ask your pediatrician if you can post a flier in their office.

Finally, and most importantly, I’ve learned to be myself.

I am a mother because my daughters make me so. Every diaper changed, hand held, confidence instilled, tear shed, tantrum thrown, joke told and witnessed new feat is part of our journey together. How well or how poorly I participate in that journey isn’t a competition. I don’t need to live up to Superwoman. I simply need to be a super woman — and I choose to believe I am.

HL

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65

Making Life A Little Easier

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If you or your loved one needs help with the challenges of every day life such as standing up, preventing falls and dealing with short and long range mobility come see us.

We have a wide selection of products to overcome the challenges of aging including lift chairs, walkers and transport chairs.

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it pays to advertise

relationships

Just Friends yes, experts say, platonic love does exist

Photo: © Dreamstime.com/Monkey Business Images.

by valerie foster

B

art Sikoryak and Ann Marie Kaletcher have been friends since they met in kindergarten on Long Island almost four decades ago. “Ann Marie has always been like a sister to me,” says Sikoryak, who lives in Ballston Spa. “She is very sweet, very endearing. We give each other advice, talk about relationships. And sports … hockey, baseball.”

As their relationship grew, he helped her through a divorce, and she’s been there during his marriage and the birth of his children. “Now we talk about family, homes. She knows a lot more about my kids than my guy friends,” he says.

And when he married his wife Elizabeth, 15 years ago, she never questioned that Kaletcher would be part of their lives. So much so that she is godmother to two of the couple’s three children. “Ann Marie was part of the package,” he laughs.

“I was never jealous,” says Elizabeth Sikoryak. She always understood the relationship. She has been friends with Frank Rispoli since sixth grade. “We’ve known each other for so

long, there is continuity, a trust, a familiarity to our relationship,” she says about Rispoli. “And the humor. We laugh a lot. He has a really strong heart. I respect him. I would be sorry if I didn’t have him in my life.”

Bosom Buddies Researchers echo the anecdotal evidence that men and women can be friends. A few years ago, 83 percent of Match. com members agreed too. And times have changed over the past four decades: Coed dorms in college are the norm, male and female roommates often share apartments, and women take leadership roles in companies across America.

Donald O’Meara, Ph.D., a sociology professor at the University of Cincinnati/Blue Ash, published a landmark study in the journal Sex Roles on the topic two decades ago, and stands by his findings today. “Cross-gender relationships are not only possible; they are extremely rewarding,” he says. “I always find it odd when someone says that you can’t have a friendship with 50 percent of the population.” continued on page 68 

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67

relationships

❋ If you are in a

committed relationship, it’s wise to include your partner in your platonic friendship.

One of O’Meara’s best friends is a woman, a relationship that has remained constant over many decades. “One of the main things that a cross-gender relationship provides is the life perspective from the opposite sex, which is so helpful,” he says. “And if you are in a committed relationship, you can bring that perspective into your committed relationship. That can prove very beneficial.”

It also provides an opportunity to do something with a friend that your committed partner dislikes. For example, O’Meara’s wife, Kathy, likes light movies, while he and his female friend, Robin, like more complex story lines. “It helps me grow to see these movies and then discuss them with Robin,” he says. “My wife, Kathy, likes to hear about the movies but is so thankful she didn’t have to sit through the film.”

David Brown, a therapist at Vitality Physician’s Group Practice in Albany and Clifton Park, says that for a man, a woman friend allows him to be vulnerable and talk about issues he might not discuss with his guy friends. And women can learn about men, and how they can easily compartmentalize their feelings.

For psychotherapist James Hislop of Albany, cross-gender friendships allow both genders to speak freely about feelings and emotions, which can become an extremely rewarding experience. It also allows each gender to attain a deeper appreciation of the opposite sex without romantic involvement.

O’Meara has identified four challenges hindering successful cross-gender relationships.

❋

Challenge 1: Friends or lovers?

❋

“It’s all about how you behave in the relationship and the kinds of activities you engage in,” O’Meara says, suggesting that non-romantic activities or group settings are best.

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That’s not to say you can’t have dinner or a drink with a cross-gender friend. “Just don’t sit at a candlelit table in the restaurant’s most secluded spot,” O’Meara advises.

In some cases, one of the parties might be thinking romance. That’s when O’Meara says a conversation setting relationship boundaries is necessary for the platonic relationship to continue. Sometimes the friendship dissolves. Often, it survives and becomes stronger.

And even if you are a naturally affectionate person, don’t be too touchy-feely with your friend. A good rule is to limit hugs and kisses to what you would share with a sibling or a co-worker.

Challenge 2: The power play

O’Meara says it’s hard to develop equal relationships since, culturally, men have dominated women for centuries.

Photo: © Dreamstime.com/Nyul.

continued from page 67

“Confidence is the single most beautiful thing that a woman can wear everyday.”

Although this is changing, it’s still something women contend with. It is important to make sure that one person is not dominating the relationship. With equal power comes a flourishing friendship.

❋

Challenge 3: The naysayers

Plenty of people still insist men and women cannot be platonic friends. Saratoga therapist Jenny Olin of Lighted Pathways in Saratoga Springs is one. She says platonic friendships are fine before a person commits to another, but once that happens, in most cases, the platonic crossgender relationship should end. “Sometimes you have to give up something good (the platonic friendship) for something better (your partner),” she says. “My recommendation is not to go down that route at all.”

She says there are always exceptions, but overall, these exceptions are not the rule. “You could be playing with fire,” she adds. O’Meara says this paradigm is changing dramatically, especially among those younger than 30.

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It’s all about you!

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❋

Challenge 4: Finding friends

Not everyone is as lucky as the Sikoryaks, who found friends in grammar school. Many long-lasting platonic cross-gender friendships develop in high school and college, while others happen everywhere people meet: at work, in bars and restaurants, through friends, at church.

Still, developing friendships later in life is not as easy as it is when you are young. Hislop cites one of his four grown daughters who would love to have a male friend.

“She told me, ‘I know how girls think and feel. I want to know how a guy thinks.’ ”

❋

When to say no

Problems can arise between cross-gender platonic friends if one marries or is in a committed relationship.

According to O’Meara and the three therapists, to have the platonic friendship continue, the significant other must possess certain qualities: trust in the person, security in the relationship, and a good sense of self. Brown adds one more quality to the list: An interest in people and an openness to develop relationships.

If the significant other cannot accept the friendship, Olin says they often wind up in her office. “Sometimes you just have to decide where to put your energies,” she says. “Are you going to tend your marriage or your platonic friendship?” For her, the answer is obvious.

One danger sign that all experts agree signals trouble is secrets. If either friend starts keeping secrets from his or her partner and starts sharing these secrets with their cross-gender friend, it usually means the relationship is taking a new path. “This might be the time to end the relationship,” Brown says.

HL

Free Consultation 785-3756 Crossroads Center Rt. 9R Latham (Northway Exit 7)

cover model q&a

up close with...

Andrea Annese-Como by brianna snyder | photo by suzanne kawola

T

his year, Andrea Annese-Como celebrated her fifth year in remission from ovarian cancer. And since September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, Annese-Como is particularly excited this is the month she is HealthyLife’s cover model.

“It’s known as the disease that whispers,” says the 45-year-old mother of two teenagers. “I want to make it a disease that’s heard.”

Annese-Como serves on the Caring Together board (caringtogetherny.org), an initiative geared toward women who’ve struggled with the effects of ovarian cancer. She also works full-time at the family business she and her three sisters inherited from their father, Annese and Associates, a technology-networking company. She is an owner as well as the company’s wellness adviser and her husband of 17 years is an account manager.

The very-active, positive-minded Annese-Como lives in Ballston Spa with her two teenagers, Nicolette and Nathaniel, and her husband, David. She’s passionate on the subject of ovarian-cancer awareness and strongly encourages women to be aware of their bodies and on the lookout for symptoms of the disease: bloating; pelvic or abdominal pain; difficulty eating or feeling full quickly; and urinary symptoms (urgency or frequency).

Want to show your support? Add a little teal to your outfit; that’s the official color of Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month.

How do you maintain a healthy lifestyle?

I do a combination between yoga classes and then barre fitness (a workout centered on a ballet barre). I find that that helps me to keep balance in my life. My

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big thing is family-work balance.

When I exercise, it helps me keep that balance.

And what sorts of foods do you eat?

I eat very organic and raw, the best that I can.

What’s your favorite meal to cook?

Dinner. I’m half Italian and I love bringing people together nicely with a big family meal. I’ll light candles and have all types of genres of music on, too. It brings everyone together at the end of the day.

Are you the primary cook in your house?

Yes, but my husband does do some things. He’s much better at breakfast, so we leave that to him.

Do you have a favorite cookbook?

I really don’t! I use my grandmother’s recipes. I have a magazine I get called Cooking Light. I stick to the basics of grilling and fresh salads. For the most part, I cook pretty basic.

What sorts of things do you like to do in the fall?

Caring Together has a big ovarian-cancer run-walk, which is on Sept. 9, so I am a big advocate of that. That’s the big event for me in the fall, that 5K. Last year, we raised about $100,000 for ovarian cancer. So that’s a really good time of year to get in touch with my passion.

What’s your favorite movie?

You’re going to laugh at me, but I have to say The Notebook. How could you not love that movie? HL

Behind the Scenes Hair and makeup by Kimberley’s A Day Spa, Latham. Photo taken at Central Park in Schenectady by Suzanne Kawola. Above: Dress by Chaus, Jewelry by Ashley Cooper.

Select clothing available at Boscov’s Clifton Park. Visit facebook.com/ healthylifenymagazine to view our Behind the Scenes photo gallery, or scan the QR code at left to link to our HealthyLife photos page on Facebook.

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