Under the belly of an Umbrella - Questioning Stereotypes

UNDER THE BELLY OF AN UMBRELLA

THE UMBRELLA STORE

Haha silly. Boys don’t carry purple umbrellas, how about we get you a blue to match with your knickers or a rain coat? Let’s get your sister that pretty purple one.

Mama, I want that purple umbrella

OPEN

I know what youre thinking, it’s just an umbrella - how does the color matter? Is it not okay for a boy to use an umbrella? and a purple one at that!

Last I checked, umbrella served a purpose - something that had nothing to do with the gender of the person using it. A blue umbrella was no more strudier than a pink one!

Is she a bad mother? NO! It’s really not her fault.

She’s just blurting out the constructed reality she has been fed.

Let’s rewind a little to see how it all started and what secrets lie in the belly of an umbrella!

Hello, This is an umbrella. And it’s going through some crazy identity crisis.

Thanks to Us!

LET ME GIVE YOU A FIRST-CLASS TOUR OF THE PATRIARCHY HIDING UNDER THE BELLIES OF OUR UMBRELLAS

HISTORY 101 why menly men don't approve of umbrellas!

Where did these umbrellas come for?

At first, there were parasols, which protected the ladies and the noblemen from the scorching heat of the sun.

Then the chinese used their heads and waterproofed these parasols and they became what we now call umbrellas.

Apparently the simple equation goes as follows

“PARASOLS = WOMEN = UMBRELLAS�

Guess who else comes from a woman?

WHAT'S IN THE NAME? Apparently a lot!

“Ever wondered why it’s called an “Umbr”ella”? Never heard of “Cute Ella with an umbrella”. The name gives it away, It’s gotta be a girl’s thing!”

The word “Umbrella” comes from the latin term ombre, which was also used as “Ombrello” in Italy.

I guess all we had to do was change the name from Umbr”ella” to Umbr”ello”, for it to be man friendly!

Okay, now that we’ve got some info on how some of us say the most ridculous things to justify why an umbrella is possibly a “women only thing”, Let’s do a quick test -

Pick the odd one out!

If you thought there was absolutely nothing abnormal about these photos, then congratulations, you have crossed on to the sensible side. But if you could pick an odd one out, then there’s something seriously wrong with you, my friend.

“It’s just an umbrella. Men use it if they want to; women use it because they like it; people use it whenever they need it. Why make such a big feminist fuss out of everything.”

You want stastics, I’ll give you your god-damn statistics!

More proof

20 out of 22 sellers around Yelahanka mentioned that 70-80% of their customers were women. And that the highest number of colors sold were purple, yellow, pink, and printed designs. While only 10-20% men came to their stores and bought umbrella, the highest color sold under this bracket was black.

That’s exactly the ratio of men to women carrying an umbrella.

Most men just consider an umbrella to be an additional accessory that they don’t really need!

And the few good men who carry an umbrella to protect themselves from the harsh rain, give it all up, to protect the LADIES!

How this becomes this!

But is it all a man’s fault?

What about the women who have been accepting umbrellas, not always needing them more than the men, often leaving the man to get drenched in the rain and reclaim his manhood!

You might think, “but I don’t do that”- I feel you, But let’s do a fun google experiment to prove why a lot of women do that and don’t realise that they are subjecting themselves to subtle patriarchy, veiled under protectiveness and kindness!

Woman holding umbrella for man.....

What do you see?

GOD

MAN

WOMAN

This might just all be in my head, but if someone says that a man is under the protective umbrella of God and a woman is under the protective umbrella of a man, you start to wonder if you really should be under that umbrella at all!

THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE COCKTAIL UMBRELLA

NOT FOR MEN

what lady can resist a darling umbrella in her cocktail?

So how do they protect their manhood then?

12 out of 18 men I interviewed told me that a cocktail umbrella is a classic example that proves umbrellas, in general, are very girly and not ideal for men!

SO WHAT AM I REALLY SAYING?

When you see from afar, I’m just an umbrella, big and sleek Colored and chic.

I am for him when I’m blue or black, But for her when I paint myself pink.

What’s my gender, you ask?

Only if I knew!

Come closer now and look You’ll find a secret underneath.

Under my umbrella you’ll get power, Respect, and authority.

Under my belly, you’ll find resilience And grit.

In here, You’ll be called a man - the protector.

Come here dear woman.

You need me now.

That pretty skin of yours Who else will hide.

Take away this man’s umbrella He doesn’t need it like you do.

You are weak and fragile.

Don’t let the sun kiss you, Don’t let the water touch you.

Let him protect you, Let me.

Jaishree Garg