JIGGY Mag - 1. Through My Eyes

JIGGY society in synthesis

1. through my eyes

I‟m not really sure what‟s supposed to go in an editor‟s letter, but I‟ll give it a go.

Welcome to JIGGY Mag, the first issue. This issue is called Through My Eyes and I guess it‟s really just an introduction to who I am (me, Dani), what I see, the people that are around me, my identity and all of that. A collection of some photos I‟ve taken of my friends over the past year, thoughts, poems and conversations, this took quite some time to create and it‟s no where near perfect, but I‟m pretty happy with it. Massive thanks to all my friends for supporting me and contributing and just being general angels.

Dani

W H O

WHO AM I? A GIRL? A FRIEND? A POET? I AM… A LOVER. I AM A SISTER. I AM DRIFTING THROUGH LIFE AND QUESTIONING IT ALL.

I AM A THINKER; TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WE ARE, WHY WE ARE. WHAT‟S THE PURPOSE? IS THERE ANY? I AM A NIHILIST. ABSURDIST! ANARCHIST! LIFE HAS NO MEANING, IS THERE A GOD? WHY? BECAUSE BE. I AM LIVING, I AM ALIVE, I AM FEELING SO MANY THINGS. I AM DYING.

WE ALL ARE, BUT MORE ME BECAUSE I AM SPECIAL. AND NO ONE ELSE FEELS WHAT I FEEL. I FEEL ALONE. IN MY HEAD I AM A LONE EXISTENCE. BUT I MATTER. I MATTER. I MATTER.

A poem by a friend “Gard'ner was written about a boy with the same surname (no apostrophe). We were both drunk at a park party and I was feeling rather dismal and plagued by a sense of purposelessness. Then I eyed a ginger boy stumbling about, like a stray comet felled, shouting out nonsensical philosophies and quotations of his own poetry. I saw my purpose for the night in him. I spent the night looking after him and maybe even falling in love with him a bit. I'm very grateful that this baby bird fell from its nest into my lap.�

Gard'ner On frameless days I wonder, How my heart would take to meeting, An angel, on a magpie‟s night.

Would this heart of mine suffer, Palpitations, as he said he loved another? Indebted are my eyes, for he is too bright.

He'd hark of “light through yonder”, And these glass eardrums would break. Unsealing my watchful window.

Would he unhinge his wings for me? Bestow them at my feet, an offering? I pray for the felled jackdaw.

Would he kiss the lids of my blinded eyes, If he absorbed the reflection in the orbs, And saw, Mother Medusa in his place?

For every serpent head of his he'd sever, I'd grow him another, at my own demise. And take his place as Gard‟ner of Eden.

Would he ground himself with spirits, And then spew his cataplectic soul, To me? It would be a crow‟s caw.

I think, if I should meet this dove-boy, My duty is to put him back, In his tree, he'd sing songs of love to me.

By Owiny Lubangakene IG: @glowiny

My dear, the stars are calling your name. They want to know when you’re coming home.

a conversation

with Blake Boatfield.

What is your sexual orientation?

Gay, however I do also identify as queer.

When did you first identify your sexuality?

I first fully identified as Gay around the age of fourteen, however for the years prior to that I considered myself to be somewhere on the bisexual spectrum.

At what age did it occur to you that you liked a certain gender and how did you know?

For a long time I was romantically interested in girls, especially for the first couple of years of Secondary School, but I had always been sexually interested in males. Increasingly though I became exclusively romantically and sexually interested in boys.

Were you comfortable with your sexuality from the start or was it a process - and how do you feel now?

While I personally have always been personally very comfortable with my sexuality, many people around me were not. The challenges I faced in being comfortable with my sexuality came from my peers at school - whether through hypernormalised heteronormativity, offensive stereotypes or even outright homophobia - I felt as if I shouldnâ€&#x;t be gay because of the idea that this was a negative thing. However, through supportive friends, family and media I was able to objectively think about myself and the prejudiced people around me and understand they were in the wrong.

What's it like being a young LGBTQ+ person and has it shaped your experience as a teenager?

In many ways, isolating. Growing up I was never considered to be „one of the boys‟ and would never participate in the traditional rites of passage that young boys went through. As a result of this, I found that I held closer friendships with girls, however they didn‟t fully accept me into their groups either. I felt like I didn‟t belong with anyone. My sexuality and how people have perceived me has shaped how I think, act and respond in my everyday life.

Despite this, being a young LGBTQ+ person has given me a view on the world that I would have never had a straight person. It has allowed me to understand and emphasise with the struggle that so many people have to endure everyday; it has allowed me to be different, expressive and individual.

In your eyes, how do you think people our age, youths, feel about LGBTQ+ people and everything queer?

I think that we as LGBTQ+ people have been incredible fortunate to be the first generation to enjoy full equality in the eyes of this nationâ€&#x;s law and that this has been reflected on the psyche of our generation. Our generation is the most accepting to LGBTQ+ people and queer media ever but there still is a lot of prejudice among many social groups and demographics that needs to be resolved.

Being LGBTQ+ in London and in our generation seems to easier than anywhere else and in the past. Do you think that there's still cause to be guarded and mindful?

I have participated in the Pride in London parade for three years now and I agree that London is a considerably more friendly place for LGBTQ+ people than many other places in the country. However, often I find myself afraid to walk down the street holding hands with someone of the same sex, not because I am ashamed or embarrassed but because I am afraid that something will happen - which it has before. Because of that I think there is still cause to be guarded and mindful in London.

Finally, who are your queer role models?

I would have to say that my biggest LGBTQ+ role models at the moment are: left-wing columnist and author Owen Jones; actress and television producer Laverne Cox; dragqueen and actor Brian McCook, also known as his stage persona, Katya Zamolodchikova; and my god-father Dave.

ARE YOU INSPIRED BY...

THE MORNING HUES?

OR DO YOU LIKE THE NEAR-NIGHTTIME BLUES?

THE G

GIRLS

Back in March this year, I did an on-the-spot interview, well it was more of a conversation, and a mini shoot with three of my friends; Rafiat, Shanay and Shervinia (left to right), here‟s a little preview of it. We talked about identity, issues relating to race, what it‟s like being black in modern society, and intersectionality, what it‟s like being a black female in modern society. Like I said, this was a spontaneous thing so the questions and answers are pretty casual and on-the-spot thoughts.

What do you love most about being black?

R: The fact that my hair grows towards heaven and not down towards satan. (She‟s a devout Christian). I also, my skin, sometimes...

Why sometimes?

R: Because sometimes I have pigmentation and other issues like that, it‟s just a bit jarring (that means annoying, for the non-South Londoners).

What‟s your least favourite thing about being black?

R: The abuse that we get sometimes. I was called blik numerous times in secondary school. And a boy called me a chocolate malteaser once. I know it links to chocolate and everybody wants to be called chocolate these days, BUT… you know. Whatever, it didn‟t really hurt my feelings that much.

That was a while ago, how do you think you would react to that sort of thing now that you‟re older?

R: Now I would just cuss him, I would say something rude about his appearance... but not related to his skin tone, because that‟s mean, and I‟m not a mean person.

What do you think needs to be done in order for society to be more progressive, in regards to race?

R: I think there needs to be more social change, such as giving black people more chance to elevate themselves in society because, and I know it‟s a stereotype, but most black people, when they get money, they spend it recklessly on lavish things… like yeah, opportunities for social mobility for the black population need to increase.

What do you think about the BLM movement in America, do you think we need it over here in the UK as well?

R: I feel like American activists only focus on the injustices against black people in America and when it comes to the issues in Britain, such as the institutional racism and like imperialism here they sort of shut it off, ignore it. And I feel like they only reference Britain when they want to make really brash comparisons, and I feel like we do the same here. I don‟t know, I just feel like they don‟t really acknowledge the struggle here, in Europe and even in Africa, where I think they need the most help.

"I think part of it is accepting that it's so much beauty in being Black. And that's the thing that I guess I get emotional about, because, I've always known that. I've always been proud to be Black. Never wanted to be nothing else. Loved everything about it, just...

It's such beauty in Black people, and it really saddens me when we're not allow to express that pride in being Black; and that if you do then it's considered anti-white. No! You just pro-Black. And that's okay. The two don't go together.

Because you celebrate Black culture does not mean that you don't like white culture; or that you putting it down.

It's just taking pride What's irritating is when somebody says, you know, 'They're racist!' 'That's reverse racism!' or 'They have a Black History Month, but we don't have a White History Month!'

Well, all we've ever been taught is white history: so why are you mad at that? Why does that makes you angry? That is to suppress me and to make me not be proud."

A R I A N N E

HISHAM

Let‟s imagine my hypothetical, alternate world: I want a Black police officer or any POC to shoot a good man, a family man, an honest man, a WHITE man. I want this to happen a lot. I want to hear about this every week. I want to read retweets on Twitter and see angry posts on Facebook. I want the newspapers to print screenshots of CCTV footage. I want the media to corrupt an innocent man. I want social media to share the footage of these shootings; I want it to trend wo r l d w i d e . I want there to be a #WHITELIVESMATTER and campaigns and protests across the globe. I want to see white families reduced to tears in press conferences. I want white people to come to resent the blindness and

INJUSTICE that exists in their world. I want those who support this movement to feel as powerless and defenceless as the MILLIONS of POCs who feel unsafe in their own neighbourhoods, who are seemingly hunted

as prey to a predatory and unjust system, who are picked off as carelessly as r a t s , who don‟t get the justice they deserve, who don‟t get the representation they need, who don't get the opportunity to impact change, who don‟t get listened to because people are now so desensitized to the killing of Black people.

I want nothing more but for the tables to be turned and see how quickly things change.

EMPATHY IS EFFECUTAL

THANKS THANKS THANKS Thanks to all my friends for letting me photograph them constantly, it probably gets annoying but thanks for putting up with me anyway, massive thank you to Owiny, Blake, Shervinia, Shanay, Rafiat, Iman and Ishy for their contributions to this issue, and thanks for reading this. Iâ€&#x;ll end it with a really cute photo of my friends Hiab and Ishy.

Dani Orefo IG: MESSGRIPS