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SAME GREAT TASTE. LIMITED EDITION CAN. There was a time when all that existed was heavy beer. Thanks to a special brewing process, the invention of Miller Lite changed beer forever. Made to be a light beer with more taste, this limited edition can celebrates the Miller Lite tradition of giving you everything you want in a light beer and more. Horizontal logo with gold drop and no gradation on red
MILLER LITE. THE ORIGINAL LIGHT BEER.
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3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR ..................... Stacey Jay Cavaliere PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS
ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero, .......................................................... (602) 750-1164
jacktesorero@me.com
Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ......................... (520) 429-5905
ionazsales@me.com
ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop ................................................................. (602) 301-8457
Photographers:
Fernando Hernandez Danny Catt Scotty Kirby Sean Kapera Franklin Diaz National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:
Wes Bergman Stacey Jay Cavaliere Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly C. Edwards
Ted Kirby Albert Rivas Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger
Published monthly by
1995-2014: 19 Years of Design and Creative Excellence Š 2014 JMT Designs, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.
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Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.
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Explore Arizona
ere at ION Arizona, we are very fortunate to have some of the hardest working and loyal writers, editor, designers, photographers, artists and delivery men in the business. We’re also lucky that about half of these contributors have been with us for over 10 years. But life changes and everything evolves. This month is Jackson Kelly’s final music review, “Yo, DJ, What’s New?” Jackson is the only writer that has been with us since the beginning—that’s 13 years! He has his hands full with two successful businesses that he co-owns: Bliss/Rebar and The Bar on Central. Thank you, Jackson, for teaching us about music and Madonna! A couple of years ago, our movie reviewer and critic Kim Ruff got married and later gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, June. Through it all she continued to write our movie reviews and previews. She’s expecting again (due any day now!) and will be moving out of state with her husband, Travis. Thank you, Kim, for over 10 years of letting us know what movies to see and what to avoid. Last month the staff at ION took a field trip to beautiful Bisbee, Arizona. This old mining town is full of charm and smiles.
Join us as we celebrate Bisbee Pride this month and check out the feature “Explore Arizona.” If you go to Pride in the Pines, you owe it to yourself to take the Arizona Snowbowl chairlifts to the summit. They say you can see the Grand Canyon. Of course, there’s plenty to do as the temperatures rise, especially in Tucson and Phoenix. Don’t forget to bring your ION so you don’t miss a thing. Look for some new writers and some creative elements in our 13th Anniversary issue. Also, we’re in the planning stage of a brand new, one-of-a-kind event this community has never seen. Curious? Look for more details next month. President Clinton declared June as National LGBT Pride Month in 2000. Celebrate by doing something positive for your community. Volunteer at a non-profit. Go to a gay owned business. Donate to a politician that has our back. Write to your congressperson and tell them to support gay marriage in Arizona. Together we can make a difference.
Jack M. Tesorero
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AZGV - SETS ON THE SAND
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STEELE INDIAN SCHOOL PARK
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Neon Glow Party at Charlie’s It’s positively radioactive! Dance and drink (responsibly, of course!) with the sexy glowin-the-dark Wild Men of the West! Wear your own neon, day-glo club clothes and grab those glo-sticks you have from the circuit party days and join in the fun on Saturday, June 7 at Charlie’s, 727 W. Camelback Rd. in Phoenix. 602-265-0224 (See ad on p. 9)
Undies Off at AQUA Boxers? Briefs? It doesn’t matter! Strip down to your sexiest underwear at AQUA. You’ll have a good time and help raise money that will benefit the non-profit agency Arizonans for Foster Children. Sexy models, live entertainment and fun! Plus everybody’s in their underwear, right? Friday night, June 13 at 10 p.m. 1730 E. McDowell Rd. (See ad on p. 18)
Comedy Showcase at Zorfs feat. Thai Rivera Everybody wants to know ... “Who’s your daddy?” Funny people Angie Krum, Steven Krum and headliner Thai Rivera will tickle your funnybones on Sunday, June 15, 2014 at 8 p.m. Reservations recommended. $10 cover. The laughs are free! 1028 E. Indian School Rd. 602-277-7729
Otter Pop Party Which Otter Pop are you? Strawberry Short Kook? Little Orphan Orange? Pancho Punch? Or Louis Blue Raspberry? Wear your favorite swimsuit and flip-flops for this cool summer party at Kobalt on Saturday, June 28 at 5 p.m. Enter the “Sexiest Otter Contest!” Hot go-go men, cool drinks, a DJ and Otter Pops, of course! (Note: this party is otter safe! Dolphin safe, too!) 3118 N. Central Ave. (See ad on p. 18)
Skin Tight Beach Party ¡Vamos a la playa! Summer’s hot but we’re playin’ it cool! Even if you can’t go to the beach, the beach will come to Karamba! It’s almost like Puerto Vallarta! You’ll see the sexy Karamba dancers, too. Cash prizes for the best thongs. Seriously! (See ad on p. 4-5)
JUNE 2014 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE
Saturdays Sun. Weds. Fri. Fri-Sun. 7 12 13 13 13 15 20-21 28 28 28 JULY 4 4 27
EVENT
LOCATION
CITY
Hawaiian Luau BBQ The Jackie & Olive Show Dancing with the Bars
FLEX The Rock Celebrity Theater
Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
Male Revue LADS Charity Bingo Underwear Night Hot Male Dance Revue Red Cup Party Neon Glow Party Teatro Bravo Fundraiser Undies Off Party & Auction Black Out Party Black Out Party Comedy Showcase Customer Appreciation Party Otter Pop Party Skin Tight Beach Party Red Solo Cup Party
Plazma OZ Bar The Rock Roscoe’s Apollo’s Charlie’s Karamba AQUA Charlie’s The Rock Zorfs Dick’s Cabaret Kobalt Karamba Charlie’s
Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
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ANNIVERSARY
STACY’S @ MELROSE
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5TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY
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THE ROCK
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IMPERIAL COURT CORONATION IX
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Bianca Del Rio America’s New Drag Superstar Has Her Claws Out! by Deon Brown 30
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he sly wit and allure of spitfire Bianca Del Rio of New York City by way of New Orleans springs from the fertile imagination of Roy Haylock, winner of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season six. Del Rio tied winning challenges with another top three contender, newcomer Adore Delano and never scoring among the weakest contestants, therefore never having to lip synch for her life—the only queen to escape that since the first season’s Nina Flowers. Del Rio capitalizes on her below-the-belt punches as an insult comic. She can read you to filth. (“I’ll show you versatility when Santino wins a sewing competition and Visage wears a turtleneck!”) Haylock/Del Rio shared some thoughts with ION Arizona about his experience on Drag Race, the other glamorous, attention hungry bitches, LaGanja Estranja’s hysterics and more. Note: This interview was given on the eve of coronation. ION: Who was your greatest competition? Did you ever feel there was any? Bianca Del Rio: I’m an old fag, and you can’t judge a book by its cover, so you never really knew what these girls were gonna bring out. “Never let
a bitch see you sweat.” I wasn’t really sure what their forté was. I tried not to get distracted. The only thing I’m in control of is what I’m doing. ION: Who did you think would make top three? Besides you, of course. BDR: I felt that justifiably that everyone who went home—at that time—deserved to go home. I’m seeing 12 and 14 hour day footage. Whether it was a personal thing, if they were tired or gave up or even were given a second chance I felt deserved it at that time. When I watch the show and it’s shrunk down to 40 minutes it’s interesting what people say. Whether it was a better lip synch, moment, or comment that was cut, or behavior in general. What I experienced is what I stand by. ION: What were the biggest surprises, let downs, or “oh, that’s how they do that!” moments in the process? BDR: The whole show is a surprise. You’re not briefed in advance. I live my life that way; I have no control over what’s going to happen and I love that. I wasn’t really there to make friends. We don’t hang out with each other when we’re not filming; We’re not allowed to. We’re kind of quarantined. I remember one of the producers saying, “If it doesn’t happen on camera, it doesn’t June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 31
happen.” After 14 hour days we were beyond exhausted. When you’re there anything that’s extremely hateful is gonna be used. Anything that’s really loving is gonna be used. It’s a crash course; you’re in and you’re out. Time is money and it’s a TV show. ION: You never had to lip synch for your life. BDR: I still learned every song. The judges would make their decision, good or bad. I signed up for the show and part of the deal is to be critiqued. You have to be ready to wrap it up or prove it with a lip-synch. I’m not afraid of it, but it’s not what I do anymore. It’s nerve wracking. You might be paired up with somebody like Trinity Bonet, who’s genius at it. Darienne Lake is amazing. I tried to focus more on the challenge. ION: You mastered the “Over the Top Eye Roll” BDR: I didn’t realize that I do as much as I do. Camera’s don’t follow me in my everyday life so this was fascinating. ION: Who would’ve been most likely to smother you in your sleep? BDR: All of them wanted to at some point. When you’re there you want to kill them all within five minutes. When you watch the show and see me react to LaGanja Estranja’s crying after three minutes, we were there for three hours of her crying. I wanted to smother all of them and I’m sure they wanted to smother me. You’re not there for bullshit, watching people cry and complain and bitch. I’m sure LaGanja wanted to strangle me. I’m sure Ben De La Creme wanted to strangle me— in a loving way. (You know how she is.) I felt the same way when we were there at this heightened moment. It’s not a “pageant answer.”
ION: Santino Rice: Devil or Divine? BDR: I don’t have a problem with him. I’m not his biggest fan; he’s a nice guy. I wouldn’t say, “devil”—you have to be a little more cunning. I didn’t find him cunning at all. Was I in love with him? No. I’m one of the few who are in between. I wasn’t in love with him like some of the other girls were. I don’t have a Ghandi fetish. Sometimes I didn’t agree with what Santino said. Not just about me, but about other people. I have more of an opinion about Michelle Visage, who I would say is divine. She gets it. ION: Anything you’d like to take back? BDR: Nothing really serious. C’mon, I signed up for this. I knew they would use anything that was worthy. I can’t deny that I said it or did it. If I changed one thing it could’ve shifted. I can’t complain—I’m in the top three, it would be very hypocritical. It’s what it is. It’s a reality TV show. I said what I said and did what I did. I don’t remember half the shit I said, and it’s documented. ION: What will you do with all that money? BDR: Win or lose, it puts you on the map. I would love to put a down payment on an apartment. I don’t live lavishly. I do owe money to my dentist, so I’ll be glad to pay him. ION: You’re going on an All Stars cruise to Europe. Suppose the boat’s sinking. There’s one lifeboat. You can only bring on three other queens. Who do you pick? BDR: I’m sure it would depend on the day. If these bitches are drinking, I’m gonna leave ‘em. If it’s an old queen, like Lady Bunny, (she was there on the Titanic) I would definitely look for her because she should survive. The assholes I would definitely leave. June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 33
TickeTs available aT , comericaTheaTre.com, The box office, or charge by phone aT 1-800-745-3000.
All dates, acts and ticket prices are subject to change without notice. Ticket prices subject to applicable fees. FOLLOW US
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comericatheatre
IBT’s Saturday Night Starrletts “You’re goin’ out there a little Miss Nobody, but you’re comin’ back a star!” The Tallest White Woman Living in Captivity, the one and only ultimate Glamazon, Miss Janée Starr, brings a fleet of her best “Starletts” to the stage every Saturday night at 9 o’clock at IBT’s with DJ’s, dancing and drink specials, too. 616 N. 4th Ave. Tucson. 520882-3053 IBTsTucson.com (See ad on p. 98)
JUNE 2014 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE
TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S)
July 4th
10:00pm The Rock
The Jackie & Olive Show
Mondays
10:00pm Charlie’s
Barbra Seville w/ Strippers!
Mondays
10:00pm Apollo’s
Naughty or Nice Bingo with Lezbein & Eryka D. Knowles
Tuesday
10:00pm Karamba
Savannah Moussier’s Show
Wednesdays 9:00pm
IBT’s
Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Wednesdays 9:00pm
Kobalt
Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Thursdays
9:30pm
Thursdays
10:30pm Karamba
The Bar
Viva La DIVA Girls of Karamba - Adriana Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste 2 Girls 1 Cup with Celia Putty & Guest Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Showtime at the Bar with Ian and Barbra Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds
Thursdays
AQUA
Maniqiues with Tyra Marie & Sasha Bratz
Fridays
The Rock
Special Event Rotating Drag Shows
10:30
Fridays
7:00pm
OZ
Ruby Reynolds with the Boys of OZ
Fridays
9:00pm
IBT’s
Absolutely Flawless with China Collins
Fridays
10:00pm Cruisin’ 7th
The Barbra Seville Show
Fridays
9:00pm
Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers
BS West
1st Saturday 9:30pm
Kobalt
Taylor Made with TC Taylor & Special Guests
Saturdays
8:00pm
OZ
Saturday Night Showgirlz with Ruby
Saturdays
9:00pm
IBT’s
Saturdays
10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th
Starrletts with Janee Star The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams
Saturdays
10:00pm The Rock
The Barbra Seville Show
Saturdays
10:00pm icepics
The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan
Saturdays
9:30pm
Charlie’s
Pussy’s Patio Show
Saturdays
9:30pm
Zorf’s
BeDazzled
Sundays
AQUA
Siluetas with Susana
Sundays
8:30pm
Charlie’s
Pussy LeHoot & Friends
Sundays
10:30pm Karamba
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e r o d A o n a l De by Deon Brown 36
L if e is a pi z z a pa rt y ! D ra g R a c e F in a li st is “D .T .F .”
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he American television public first met the outspoken Danny Noriega back in 2008 as a semi-finalist for season 7 of “American Idol.” Not everybody gives lip to the famously bitchy Simon Cowell and gets away with it. Fast forward. After watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race” finalist Raven perform, Noriega got bit by the drag bug. Adore Delano was born, whom he describes as a mermaid-like “creature of the ocean, not from the walking land” and alternately a “psychotic cat with rabies on stage.” (“That’s exactly how I come off,” he agrees.) No stranger to reality TV, Delano was cast for “Drag Race” season six. Delano’s YouTube videos and storytelling antics are hilarious. No wonder. Noriega counts YouTube superstar Chris “Leave Britney Alone!” Crocker as one of his besties. ION Arizona snatched a quick chat with the Drag Race’s potty-mouthed darling from Asuza on the eve of the show’s finale and crowning. “Party!” ION: You have some degree of celebrity and notoriety before “Drag Race” because of your status as a contestant on American Idol. Did that affect your relationship with the other queens? Adore Delano: It didn’t really. I’m not camera shy and really comfortable with who I am and acting natural. I feel like if it wasn’t for “American Idol” I wouldn’t have been as natural and myself (and I’m very grateful for that). Other than that there’s nothing that really prepared me for this experience. ION: Would you like to compete on “American Idol” again as Adore Delano?
AD: I would never be caught dead on that show again. If it was a totally original format I’d be, like, “Yeah, motherfucker, I’m back!” but, girl! It’s a different show every year. It’s hilarious. ION: You almost made it on “Drag Race” last season. Would that have been a different ballgame as far as your development & ability? ION: Absolutely. I think Ru is a fucking genius. She knew exactly when my time was. I was not ready for season five—I had no outfits. It would would’ve been a different experience. Those bitches were catty! I would’ve fist fought some of them for being so mean to Jinkx [Monsoon, the competition winner]. ION: Who was your greatest competition? AD: I thought Bianca was my biggest competition. I really did. After I got to know her I wasn’t threatened. She’s amazing. I love her to death. I was more nervous about the competition of the challenges, because if you get lost in the “Ooh! I need to beat her!” that’s when you’re gonna get your ass sent home. Focus on you. We all get judged individually—of course—‘cuz, what? we’re indi-vid-u-als.
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ION: Were there any girls you would’ve liked to have smothered in their sleep? You’re not gonna pull any of this, “I love all my sisters,” bullshit, are you? AD: “I love all my sisters” ... and if they just so happen to trip down the escalator ... I’d smother a couple of them for a couple of different reasons ... but I really don’t want to say! (Laughs) ION: Who would’ve been most likely to smother you? AD: While we were on the show? LaGanja, Gia ... who I actually really enjoy now, but during the competition with LaGanja, it was, like, “Do you think I could kill her and get away with it?” That’d be awesome! ION: Is there anything you would like to take back, or do over? AD: Nope. I think my progression was a cool development; that’s exactly how it worked out for me. I’m very happy. ION: What’s been the best & worst change in your life, before, during and after the show? AD: That question confuses me! The best and worst change is that I don’t get to sleep. It’s good because it means I’m working and I’m happiest when I’m working. I’m like a lazy hermit crab when I’m not working. ION: You were Britney Spears special guest in her Las Vegas show before the Drag Race reunion and finale. Or was she a guest in your Las Vegas show?. 38
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AD: It was awesome! Even though when I was waiting backstage they asked me if I was her manager’s guest. ION: Any backstage gossip you’d like to share? AD: Gia and Milk really, really did not like each other. They actually threw blows off camera. ION: Tell us about your single “D.T.F.” AD: It means “Down to Fuck.” Everybody’s down to fuck! I mean, it’s 2014! It’s very grimey, sweaty pop song ... I’m obsessed with it! It’s definitely a fun one. It sticks out on the album called, Till Death Do Us Party. I love singing! ION: We have a question for you that comes from Bianca del Rio. She wants to know, “What kind of pizza are you always talking about?” AD: That fuckin’ bitch! I love her! It’s always cheese pizza. Very selectively pepperoni. If it’s from Papa John’s it’s pepperoni. ION: And Bianca wants to know what kind of party? A day party? Night party? Baby shower? AD: Life is a party. The reason I always say “party” is because drag should be a celebration first. It should be fun. We should always be recognized that we are men in dresses; we don’t have to be crazy and cutthroat. Lose the fun of drag, that’s when you need to put the wigs up. I still love what I do and have fun with it! Like, for real.
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Join the Greater Phoenix Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce for the
4th Annual
Biz Bowl Saturday, July 12th 6-9 p.m. AMF Christown Lanes 1919 W. Bethany Home Rd. 85015 Put together your team of 6 ($25 per person, includes two games & shoes) and come join in the fun! Trophies will be awarded for Best Team, Best Bowler and Best Costumes! THIS EVENT WILL SELL OUT, SO RESERVE YOUR TEAM TODAY. OPTIONAL COSTUME THEME: SUPER HEROES! Email Greg at greglchamber@gmail.com or Joseph at jbg9696@gmail.com to sign up! A portion of the proceeds go to Omaggio, a gay youth chorus within the Phoenix Metropolitan Men’s Chorus.
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HBO’s “Silicon Valley” Cast Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller and Kumail Nanjiani, co-star as the computer nerds of HBO’s wacky look at the tech development world in “Silicon Valley.” Brilliant comedians in their own right with hefty résumés of laughter in movies, The Onion, “Portlandia,” “The Office,” Comedy Central and more come to town on Friday, June 6 at 7:30 p.m. to StandUp Live at Cityscape 50 W. Jefferson St. For tix call 480-719-6100 or visit StandUpLive.com
Jersey Boys Who sold 175 million records worldwide before they were 30? Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame group The Four Seasons! Find out why “Big Girls Don’t Cry” with this award-winning Broadway in Tucson touring jukebox musical filled with some to the greatest tunes from yesteryear at UofA’s Centennial Hall, 1020 E. University Blvd. in Tucson. Fun, fun, fun! For tix visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000
Cabaret Bringing Broadway favorites back to life! Scottsdale Musical Theatre makes its new home at Tempe Center for the Arts June 27-29, presenting this edgy musical about the indomitable Kit Kat Klub showgirl Sally Bowles, love interest (with a twist) Cliff Bradshaw and life in pre-war Germany. And you gotta love the sinister EmCee. All tickets on opening night, Friday, June 27 benefit Phoenix Pride’s One Voice Community Center. 700 W. Rio Salado Pkwy. For tix visit ScottsdaleMusicalTheatre.com or call 480-350-2822
JUNE 2014 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 3-8 Porgy and Bess ASU Gammage 3-12 Secrets of the Rich & Famous Herberger Theatre 6 Cast of HBO’s “Silicon Valley” StandUp Live - Phx 7 Jay & Silent Bob Get Old Stand Up Live Phx 6-8 Justin Willman Tempe Improv 6-7/27 Biloxi Blues Desert Stages Theatre 7-28 7 Minutes in Heaven Space 55 Theatre 13-15 Adam Ferrara Tempe Improv thru 15 The Full Monty Mesa Encore Theatre 20-22 Heather McDonald Tempe Improv 26-29 Bert Kriescher StandUp Live - Phx 27-22 Jersey Boys Centennial Hall 27-29 Cabaret Scotts. Musical Theatre Co. thru 22 Young Frankenstein AZ B’way Theatre
PHONE 4800-965-3434 602-254-7339 480-719-6100 480-719-6100 480-921-9877 480-483-1664 Space55.org 480-921-9877 480-644-6500 480-921-9877 480-719-6100 520-903-2929 602-909-4215 623-776-8400
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Neon Trees This band of hip Mormons with a New Wave flair from Provo, Utah shot up the charts with their hit, “Animal.” In March, the sexy lead vocalist/frontman Tyler Glenn came out as gay, so that makes them extra cool in our book. They’ll be at the Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. in Tucson on Wednesday, June 4. For tickets call 520-740-1000 or visit RialtoTheatre.com
The Mowgli’s Their thoughtful, unique brand of indie-alt-folk rock with a flowerpower, hippy flair is contagious and rousing! Just check out their hit “San Francisco.” These SoCal cats believe that with music and love we can change the world. Crowd singing encouraged! Catch them in Tucson on Tuesday, June 10 at the Club Congress, 311 E. Congress Street in the old hotel. Get your tickets at TicketFly.com or call 877-987-6487
Art Garfunkel One half of the famed folk-rock duo Simon & Garfunkel, Art sang the haunting lead “Bridge Over Troubled Water” back in 1970 along with other hits, like “Scarborough Fair” and “The Sounds of Silence.” A great talent and voice of a turbulent time, he’ll be at the Talking Stick Resort 9800 E. Indian Bend Rd. on Thursday, July 3. Visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000
JUNE 2014 ION Concert Calendar DATE 4 5 7 8 8 10 10 11 13 17 20 20 27 JULY 3
ARTIST LOCATION Neon Trees Rialto Theatre - Tucson Uh Huh Her Club Congress - Tucson One More Time/Daft Punk Tribute Crescent Ballroom - Phoenix Lionel Richie & CeeLo Green Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix Staind Talking Stick Resort Poolside - Scottsdale The Mowgli’s Club Congress - Tucson James Taylor US Airways Center - Phoenix The Fray Comerica Theatre - Phoenix Gavin DeGraw Casino del Sol - Tucson Lady Antebellum Casino del Sol - Tucson Greg Allman Talking Stick Resort - Scottsdale Air Supply Wild Horse Pass - Chandler Collective Soul Talking Stick Resort Poolside - Scottsdale
PHONE 520-740-1000 877-987-6487 602-716-2222 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 877-987-6487 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 800-344-9435 800-344-9435 800-745-3000 800--WIN-GILA x 7370 800-745-3000
Art Garfunkel
800-745-3000
Talking Stick Resort - Scottsdale
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Sgt. Brandon Mendoza 1982-2014
M
any lives were deeply touched by Brandon Mendoza and with his Friendship and Love. Those who knew him were blessed to call him “friend.” Brandon’s shining smile and all that he was, gives those who loved him strength to celebrate his life and for all that he gave to this world, this community, his friends and his family. The memories of Brandon for those with whom he surrounded himself include love, laughter and a celebration of his life. “Rest in Peace” just doesn’t seem right for Brandon; it feels more like he will dance, laugh, celebrate and so much more. -- Mark Howard, friend Brandon Mendoza was a 13-year veteran of the Mesa Police Department and a beloved figure of many communities. He was posthumously promoted to the rank of Sergeant.
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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net
Yo, DJ! What’s New? Mariah Carey
Me I Am Mariah Her 14th release, Mariah’s new project hits the streets after set-backs dating back to 2011. In a Beyoncé move, this rushed release is full of mid-tempo, piano laden tracks and Mariah’s trademark upper-register trills. As the single “Thirsty” hits the airwaves, it’s evident this album will leave a majority of Mimi’s fans thirst unquenched. This set’s stronghold, perhaps, is the cover of George Michael’s “One More Try.” Packed in quantity, some are calling this 15-track album the greatest over-the-top album of all time with its “creative” song titles with its odd punctuation. Whatever the case, it just proves how difficult the music business really is. GRADE: C
Sam Smith
In The Lonely Hour The British newcomer we heard on the band Disclosure’s song “Latch” releases his debut album taking the listener into the stratosphere of musical amazement. While providing a soulful bass, Sam’s falsetto vocals perfectly caress each beat much in the way John Legend gives his to R&B. This home-run with a James Blake & Cee Lo-like juxtaposition of intensity and warmth is style at its best. Lead single “Stay With Me” is very nearly gospel while “Lay Me Down” and “Not In That Way” give great support. Produced by names associated with Adele, Will Young and the before mentioned Cee Lo Green, this Brit has “it.” GRADE: B+
Robyn & Royksopp
Do It Again Talk about having your cake and eating it too, this EP comes together with a stroke of genius. As the EDM movement has progressed to the way of Empire, Disclosure and Daft Punk, this collaboration only adds more meat to a genre that is ever evolving. “Do it Again” gives the listener a commercial song to rejoice to while standout tracks like “Monument” and “Every Little Thing” provide a mid-tempo, melancholy yet soul-filling perfection. Though some will be confused with the moody ten-minute tracks, find your inner Zen and get hooked. GRADE: B+ Look for other new music from: Neil Young, Jack White, Linkin Park, Jennifer Lopez, David Gray, Ed Sheeran, Phish and Tiesto. This is my last column for ION Arizona. Finally, I want to dedicate this last one to our dear friend Sgt. Brandon Mendoza. Though your love for Justin Bieber will always puzzle me, your conviction to living and being an outstanding person will forever change me. If I can be 1/100th of the person you were, I have succeeded. Do you love music? Do you have what it takes to be the next ION Arizona reviewer and new music critic? Pick out three or four new albums and let us know what you think! Be diverse and objective—don’t just pick your favorites. Tell ION readers! Send your submission of about 400-450 words to IONAZeditor@me.com with “New Music” in the subject line. If we pick you, you can be in print! Did we mention money? Yes! What are you listening to? Let everybody know! June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 45
Tyler Glenn of
Neon Trees Gets what he deserves, on and off the stage.
by Deon Brown Photos by Andrew Zaeh and Jam Sutton 46
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he neo-pop-synth band Neon Trees third LP Pop Psychology already has two double-platinum singles, debuting at #6 on the Billboard Top 100. They’ve had two covers performed on “Glee.” They sang “Everybody Talks” in a Buick commercial in 2012 (for the record, Glenn doesn’t drive.) In 2010 Rolling Stone featured Neon Trees as “Artist of the Week.” Besides Glenn, bandmates Elaine Bradley, Chris Allen and Branden Campbell form the (coincidentally all-Mormon) band, based in their hometown, Provo, Utah. Drugs and drinking are collectively verboten. Glenn helped form Neon Trees in 2005. Now 30-years-old, he’s the only unmarried band member, coming out as gay in October, 2013. Even National Public Radio discussed his revelation. Ironically for the one-time missionary, most of the negativity came from atheists rather than the Mormon church, in which Glenn is still active.
all naturally gone from the punk image. For me, I knew that I wanted to be true to what I loved originally. I always kind of dressed that way in high school. I think the music also kind of dictates the look. The new album is more colorful and streamlined. Clean. Memories of the closeted years for Glenn emerge on the new album. The most emotional song for him is “Living in Another World.” “I guess I’ve always been this way / It’s been hard for me to say / Close my eyes, it’ll go away.” His favorite song is the haunting “Voices in the Hall.” “It’s unique to the record,” Glenn said. “It’s the only song that sounds like it sounds.
A new makeover for Neon Trees emerged for Pop Psychology. They’ve gone from tough punk look to a nostalgic, Technicolor inspired homage to the New Wave bands of the 80s. (“I like a lot of music from the 80s. Alternative radio, like REM, Morrissey, the Smiths. That kinda stuff.”) He added a doubleprocess bleach job just for fun. “Aesthetically and initially it’s mostly my idea, but the band goes from there. We’ve June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 47
Very minimal. The voices, to me, are friendships or relationships past. The ‘hall’ is obviously my head. I wrote that song when I was at my most lonely. I’m still kind of a lonely guy, but I’ve learned how to cope with it. I have the love of friends and family, but I don’t have a companion. I think that’s some of the fear of accepting that I’m gay and I want to tell the world. I think sometimes being gay can be very lonely. You’re trying to be yourself and navigate a lot. I’m not just looking to hook up anymore, I look for something solid. That song is my wanting something more ‘normal.’ “I also like a song called ‘First Things First’ because it’s anthemic quality. It ends the record on a really high note.”
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“It began when I learned how to face myself / And I’m still deciding if I’m something else.” “I had to do a lot of accepting everything about myself the last year and a half, two years. Those lyrics came spilling out. It’s really liberating to me; I’m gay, I like the food I like, I like the church that I go to, I like the music I play, I like the type of guy that I like. And that’s okay. Some things maybe contradict themselves, but at the same time that’s just who I am at this point.” Does Glenn feel “gayer” since he came out? “I feel the same, honestly,” he laughed. “Anything more ‘gay’ about myself is when I hang out with my friends I’m able to say, ‘That guy’s cute’ or if my bandmates ask, ‘What’s your type?’ I can say, ‘Oh, him!’ and there’s no fear in my voice; it’s like a general topic now.”
Glenn is quite a showman. A little flamboyant. And a lot sexy. “I’m a pretty entertaining front man on stage,” he related. “I wore the same things that I wear now and dance the same way. Not a lot has changed as far as that. The little things are important. Like saying, ‘That guy’s cute,’ or ‘I have a crush on this guy.’ Little things I wasn’t able to talk about and had to keep bottled in.” His gay fans are crushing on him even more. “I’ve had a lot of gay fans write me over the years. It is funny to get messages now. My bandmates noticed the first couple of shows [after I came out] that there are a lot more gay men in the audience, which is cool. I think it’s sweet that the fans are supportive. I enjoy that.” The Mormon Church discourages missionaries from listening to secular music. That includes pop and rock. During his mission in Omaha, Nebraska, Glenn would hide in the closet to sing his heart out. Now a musician and since coming out, is writing music or performing different? “I haven’t written a lot lyrically since I came out,” Glenn said. “I’ve always been the same as a performer. I don’t feel like I act any different. I’ll tell a story and the crowd will understand the nuances more now. Before it was more ambiguous. I haven’t changed too much; it’s added more of a connection.” Glenn is emerging as inspiration for his fans.
“I love that!” he brightened. “I didn’t come out thinking, ‘This is gonna make me a role model!’ I like hearing from fans saying, ‘Your story has helped me come out’ or from straight Mormon fans saying, ‘I’m really happy you’re doing this.’ There are LGBT Mormon youth in Utah getting kicked out of their homes. My voice might help some of those families; that’s really important to me. That’s the icing on top, but I came out primarily for me and my sanity and peace of mind.” The balancing act of still maintaining his sexuality and yet not throwing away his Mormon faith is a delicate one and the object of some curiosity to those acquainted with the Latter Day Saints’ historically intolerant doctrine toward homosexuality. Glenn synthesizes both into his life. “I feel like coming out is accepting all of it. I wasn’t quick to throw away things like my beliefs and faith,” he confirmed. “To the outside person sometimes it doesn’t all add up, but to me, it’s my craft, I’m in the middle of it and I’m singing it all out.” Isn’t there at least one vice for the squeaky clean Tyler Glenn? After a moment’s pause, he answered, “Every now and then I’ll have some cheesecake. Nothing too crazy, huh?” he laughed. Catch Neon Trees on 8 p.m. on Wednesday, June 4 at the Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. in Tucson. For tickets call 520-740-1000 or go to RialtoTheatre.com. Bring cheesecake. June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 49
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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
22 Jump Street Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube, Peter Stormare
Burning Blue
The Ambiguously Straight Duo, Jenko (Tatum, Magic Mike) and Schmidt (Hill, Superbad) are back and ready to go undercover again—this time, at college. Unfortunately for them, their headquarters have been moved across the street to 22 Jump Street and the police brass aren’t super keen on supporting their efforts, but the upside is that the college they’re at is exactly like what you see in the movies with a minimum of studying and a maximum of partying hard. Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation) and Ice Cube (Friday) costar. Opens June 13
Starring: Trent Ford, Tammy Blanchard, Rob Mayes, Morgan Spector, William Lee Scott Anyone who has ever served in the military knows that fraternity is a critical component of being in the military. But what happens when the emotional intimacy shared between two Air Force pilots turns physical, particularly during the time when homosexuality in the military was frowned upon? This is the controversial topic in the dramatic play-turned-film Burning Blue, written and directed by D.M.W. Greer.
Obvious Child
After two fatal aircraft accidents affect a squadron of Navy fighter pilots, a government agent is assigned to investigate. When a sailor reports seeing one of the top ranking fighter pilots in a gay club, several of the pilots and their families become the focus of another, equally destructive investigation in this riveting and emotionally gripping romantic drama where friendship, love, honor and courage are tested. Note: While I’d really like to make a quip that someone finally made a film about straight-up had gay fighter pilots instead of forcing us to rely on the thinly veiled, homoerotic “I’ll be your wingman”shirtless-volleyball-mavericks of Top Gun, the comparisons between the two films pretty much ends at the career choice. Limited release. See Burning Blue at the Arizona Center AMC Theatres (Phoenix) and available on iTunes on June 6
Starring: Jenny Slate, Jake Lacy, David Cross Brooklyn comedian Donna Stern (Slate, SNL, Parks and Recreation) jokes about her day-old underwear and her disappointing sex life. Things crash in when she gets dumped, fired and discovers that one bad choice—not using a condom and getting pregnant— complicates everything. That’s where the goofily handsome Max (Lacy, Royal Pains, The Office) comes into her life, pees and farts at the same time, turning her world around. Donna learns about one-night-stands, decisions that may or may not shape the rest of her life and the wisdom to know the difference. Energetic, funny and romantic. A “must see.” Directed and co-written by Gillian Robespierre, based on her 2009 short film. Opens June 13.
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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com
Oy Vey! My Son is Gay!! (2009) Starring: Lainie Kazan, Saul Rubinek, John Lloyd Young, Jai Rodriguez, Carmen Electra When Nelson (Young, Jersey Boys) comes out to his Jewish parents Shirley (Lainie Kazan, My Big Fat Greek Wedding) and Martin (Saul Rubinek, Unforgiven), they must come to terms with not just his sexuality, but his choice of a nonJewish partner, Angelo (Jai Rodriguez, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy). Initially Mom and Dad try to reform their son by enlisting the seductive Sybil (Carmen Electra, Scary Movie) before turning to therapy to understand what impact—if any—they had on their son’s sexual preference. When the men make news deciding to adopt a baby, bringing them under fire from bigots, all the parents rally, coming to the defense of their children. A comedy first, Oy Vey! My Son is Gay!! finds the perfect blend of humor and drama to tackle a sensitive topic. It’s always a treat to see Lainie Kazan and she’s perfect as usual. Available on DVD from Breaking Glass Pictures on June 10
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Tony Revolori, F. Murray Abraham, all star cast I have a confession to make: “Wes O. Bergman” is actually a nom de plume. My
birth name is not relevant to this revelation; I only tell you to point out that the origin of this nom de plume is a threetiered homage to several film giants I respect, including the writer/director of the subject of this review: Wes Anderson. Since he first came onto my radar with Rushmore (1998), I’ve carried a torch for his whimsical black comedies, including The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and Moonrise Kingdom. Certainly an acquired taste, to know his work is to love it. The Grand Budapest Hotel continues the tradition of crafting quirky, offbeat stories. Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) takes lead on this project, playing Gustave H., the eccentric, effeminate concierge of The Grand Budapest Hotel. Gustave’s penchant for taking elderly, wealthy socialites as lovers brings him under fire when Madame D. (Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin) dies. Teaming with Zero (Revolori and later Abraham), his trusty bellboy, he seeks to clear his name and take possession of the one gift Madame D. bequeathed him: a valuable painting called, “Boy with Apple.” Hollywood’s best race across the screen in cameos (leading me to believe they do it out of sheer love, since I can’t imagine Anderson could afford to pay them all their usual salaries) including Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Jude Law and Edward Norton. Available June 17 June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 53
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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com
Orange is the New
From Slammer to School
Black returns to Netflix for season 2 on June 6. At first I’ll admit that I wasn’t all that interested. I assumed it was a cheap knock off of Oz but without Christopher Meloni’s ass. I was wrong. Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) is sentenced to prison for 15 months for drug trafficking 10 years after the offense. Her jail mate is her former lover Alex (Laura Prepon). Jason Biggs plays Piper’s fiancé. Frankly, I don’t care about him. Now I can give you a run down of what occurred in the past 13 episodes but I’m all for supporting binge watching so add this your Netflix queue. The supporting characters steal the show and at times you’ll find yourself wanting to hear more about them over Chapman’s love triangle. Red (Kate Mulgrew) is the prison’s master chef with a fiery personality. You’ll love her when you hear her say, “These girls don’t realize I’m here to provide food, not dildos.” We have some good eye candy from John Bennett (Matt McGorry), the prison guard in love with an inmate. To add more diversity, there’s Sophia Burset (Laverne Cox), a transgender woman in prison for credit card theft. I also recommend reading the memoir of the same name. Moving on from the clambake in the clink we have some good family fun. Girl Meets
World premieres on June 27 on the Disney Channel. Now let the nostalgia from our favorite TGIF power couple Cory Matthews (Ben Savage) and Topanga Lawrence (Danielle Fishel) sink in. We all cried when they broke up and cried again during their wedding when Boy Meets World ended 14 years ago. This series reboot is about the Matthews’ 7th grade daughter, Riley, (Rowan Blanchard) and the bad influence of her friend Maya (Sabrina Carpenter). Cory plays Riley’s history teacher which means your dad is hanging out with you and your friends. Most of the original cast will be in recurring roles. In an homage to the original we have “Mr. Feeny! Fe-he-he-he-henay!” (William Daniels) making an appearance in the pilot. Sadly, this show is guilty of one of my biggest pet peeves: stop with the horrible laugh track! If you can make it past that you’ll love the series, which is growing up to be just like it’s parent with everyday teen drama but without being over the top nor relying too heavily on drugs, rape or makeup. Here’s looking at you, The OC. With a little Google searching you can find the pilot. I loved it and certainly takes you back to the days of your youth. Well, for some of you, anyway.
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NIGHT FOR LIFE
PHOENIX CONVENTION CENTER
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Café Roka: I
f you’ve been lucky enough to do any globetrotting, there’s surely a number of dining experiences that you always remember. A convivial tapas bar in Barcelona. A chic little bistro in Paris. A pub in London. A noisy taverna in Mykonos. Maybe it’s even a tiny diner in your own hometown. You don’t have to travel the world to find that special restaurant that you’ll always remember. It’s tucked away in the antique, copper-clad hills of Bisbee, Arizona on Main Street. Café Roka is that special place you’ll always remember, probably starting off gustatory memoirs you share with, “Remember that time at Café Roka ...” Chef and owner Rod Kass carved a stellar culinary reputation for creating fine dining experience and a mouthwatering menu of modern, American food that beckons gourmands to Bisbee to sample the changing menu depending on the season and product availability. Housed in a turn of the last century dry goods store, later a tavern, it’s now a warm, cozy restaurant decorated with the paintings of Café Roka’s friendly server Gretchen Baer, a local artist and creator of Bisbee’s famous “Hillary Car”—a bedazzled Toyota in honor of
Bisbee Gold
Clinton herself. It’s a Bisbee landmark, too. A variety of appetizers are available and shouldn’t be passed up, either. The Warm Piquillo Peppers originally hail from Spain. The peppers are sweet, with no heat, marinated in olive oil packed with flavor. They’re served with herbed locally made cream goat cheese and a balsamic glaze. Try the Artichokes wrapped in Prosciutto Ham with light sauce of pomegranate and cracked pepper. A “must” are the exotic Medjool Dates, stuffed with Gorgonzola cheese, applewood smoked bacon and shallots. Sweet and savory both. Try the sampler with two of each for $9.50, but I guarantee you’ll want more of the Dates, especially. Approximately four other starters to choose from are available. Café Roka proudly features a luscious four-course dinner—soup,
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35 different, amazing dishes are rotated. Typically you’ll have about eight to choose from, plus about three specials.
salad, sorbet and entrée. A refreshing bowl of cool, summery Gazpacho with a twist, featuring watermelon, sweet corn and a bit of mint was a welcome surprise instead of the traditional cucumber, salsa-like gazpachos. Soups are vegetarian based, changing nightly, however.
A popular entrée choice is a succulent Roasted Half Duck ($29.50). Poultry lovers are often skittish; duck has a reputation of being notoriously fatty. This one isn’t. It’s lean, tender and packed with flavor, served in a honey/cranberry/merlot reduction. Is it “just like chicken”? No. Duck has a hardier, more robust flavor, which is what Donald’s and Daffy’s fans love about it. Note: it is served on the bone, which may be a challenge for some, but be brave; try it.
The menu changes twice weekly. About
The rich, wonderful Lamb Meatballs (or
“Lambondigas” for $19.50) are a crowdpleaser. Plump and juicy, about five come with a trio of dipping sauces: coconut-curry, pomegranate and chimichurri. Try the mouthwatering New Zealand Rack of Lamb served with new potatoes and a rosemary zinfandel sauce. This “special” is a frequent visitor to the regular menu and this tender dish reminds me of the huge Brontosaurus ribs Fred Flintstone ordered in the cartoon which tipped over the Flintmobile. If you’ve got an extra big appetite, you might opt for the Spicy Italian Sausage with Penne Pasta ($18.50). The key word is “spicy.” You’ll get Chicago beef sausage, pasta in a velvety sauce tangy, roasted tomatoes, sweet onions and flavorful fresh
herbs. You’ll have enough to share. If you’re a meet ‘n’ potatoes kinda diner, hope that their “Special” of an Organic Top Sirloin Steak is passing through town from the ranch at Creek Stone Farms in Texarkana, Texas. It’s served on a bed of heavenly mashed potatoes with string beans, red bell pepper and julienned carrots. This steak melts in your mouth. Leave room for dessert. We shared the Caramel Nut Tort served with buttermilk panna cotta—a creamy Italian dessert topped with blackberries, the incredible “Mexican Celebration” (which you’ll just have to order it, believe me), Crême Brûlée and an out-of-this-world flourless chocolate cake, light as a cloud and filled with cocoa goodness. Not generally a fan of “flourless” desserts, this one, well, “took the cake.” Amazing. For 21 years Café Roka has been a fixture on Main Street, spanning two centuries and two millennia, carving a place in Bisbee’s colorful, sometimes wacky, history. Experience Café Roka for yourself; make it part of your grand tour among your epicurean panoply of memorable tastes you’ll never forget. Paris. Italy. Spain. Greece. And Bisbee. Note: Reservations highly suggested and eagerly sought after. Call early. Begging for seating is always appropriate.
Cafe Roka
35 Main Street, Bisbee, Arizona Wed-Sat: 5-9 p.m. 520-432-5153 CafeRoka.com June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 65
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Photos by Fernando Hernandez Models are from the Wild Men of the West. Joseph Loukisas, Emilio Minto, Duane DeVorak & Jason Vaccaro.
What makes the legendary Wild West so darn wild? Gunfights, saloons, whiskey and the Wild Men of the West! Dancer Emilio Minto gathered a posse of nearly two dozen of the hottest men from around the state who pack their pistols in a holster and are bound to make audiences more than a little trigger happy.
Catch these roughriders in Phoenix at Charlie’s - Monday nights • Anvil - Tuesdays and Fridays • The Rock monthly for the Friday Blackout Party • Cruisin 7th - Saturday afternoon • AQUA - Saturday night • FLEX - once monthly on Sunday • Apollo’s - Sunday night • Tucson: IBT’s - Thursdays and Friday nights • June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 69
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Flagstaff Pride Party with the LGBT Lumberjacks in their new location, Thorp Park, in Flagstaff, June 27-29. Party at Collins Irish Pub & Monsoon! Shangela, Dev and Berlin entertain. Don’t forget Sunday Brunch at Monsoon! For more info & tix go to FlagstaffPride.org
Monsoon A Pan-Asian gem of a restaurant in downtown Flagstaff, this place is a favorite of both locals and tourists alike. Great sushi, and a wide selection of noodles, stir-fry, and other dishes makes Monsoon perfect for everyone. Monsoon is a sponsor of Flagstaff Pride, too! 6 E. Aspen Ave. #100 Flagstaff, AZ 928-226-8844
Reach New Heights at Snowbowl! Snowbowl? In the summer? Sure! Leave the skis at home & come enjoy the scenic Chairlift Ride and enjoy the panoramic view of the majestic San Francisco Peaks. Stay at the Ski Lift Lodge & Cabins. Summer specials available for lodging and chairlift passes. 9300 N. Snowbowl Rd. 928-779-1951 x 109. Visit ArizonaSnowbowl.com for more information. June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 71
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This Old Copper Town is a Gold Mine!
Funky, freaky and fabulous! Bisbee! “Mayberry on Acid.”
Bisbee’s Pride is Beyond Cool The spirit of the Wild West lives in Bisbee, Arizona! The only place in Arizona performing same-sex Civil Unions! Come to Bisbee Pride, June 13-14. New York City’s Sherry Vine takes the stage with Joey Arias on Friday, June 13 at the Grand Cabaret at the Bisbee Grand Cabaret on Main Street. They’ll perform with Phoenix’s Pandora DeStrange and the Arizona Gender Outlaws along with Venus DeMars. On June 14 expect a little “Midnight Magic in the Mountains Under the Stars” in the amphitheater at the Old City Park near Brewery Gulch where they’ll be joined by Miss and Mister Arizona Gay Pride Barbra Seville and Eddie C. Broadway.
Bisbee Bicycle Co. Explore Bisbee by bike! The Bisbee Bicycle Company rents an electric assist bike with an extra “boost” to help you navigate the winding roads of this hilly town. You’ll love it! You can buy it, too! 63B Brewery Ave. 520-366-2105 June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 73
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Screaming Banshee Nik will greet you with one of her trademark hugs and a hearty “Welcome home!” when you walk into this popular café featuring pizza, pasta, salad and a stellar bar. Partners Carrie and Nik say, “Put it in your mouth. You know you want it!” Heck, yeah! 200 Tombstone Canyon Rd. 520-432-1300 ScreamingBansheePizza.com
WHyld ASS Coffee Shop You’ll discover the WHYld ASS West in this coffee/tea house and eatery. Get your morning jolt of java from the rootin’tootin’ lovable Ryan while Keith rustles up some fine vegan and vegetarian vittles and pastries for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Catch forty winks at their affordable Suite Ass B&B when you’re in town. 54 Brewery Ave. 520-353-4004
Shop! Shop! Shop! Visit art galleries, gift shops and acres of antiques and collectibles. Start your treasure hunt at On Consignment (see ad p. 74) Get extraordinary art with reasonable prices at Belleza Fine Art Gallery on Main Street. (See ad p. 70) Snoop around Finders Keepers on Main Street and say, “Howdy” to Kathy Sowden and Deborah Grier, who help make Bisbee Pride happen. June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 75
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SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX
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SAAF JELLO WRESTLING
Benefiting the programs and services of the
Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation
www.aidswalktucson.com
SundAy
OctOber 12
2014 June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 83
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Vol. 8, Issue 5
June 2014
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
Man Slain for Saying the OUTRAGEOUS! “T” Word
LOS ANGELES — Around 1 a.m. last Saturday night, Aaron Simons, 26, was lynched by an angry mob in a gay bar after a drag show when he was overheard saying, “I love trannies!”
not putting up with all this ‘tranny’ business anymore. If trannies don’t want to be called trannies, well, then nobody should call them trannies.” Buffy St. Muffy, a tranny, made this comment, “Don’t call me a tranny!”
OUTRAGEOUS!
As he drank his Cosmopolitan a gang of the Thought Police descended upon him shouting, “Hater! Hater!” ANY RESEMBLANCE as they scratched and slapped him to death.
Aaron’s dying words were, “Tranny! Tranny! Tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, “No, Trannies! NO!” he screamed in agony tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, before he slipped into unconsciousness. tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, Chief of Police said, “This is mob rule—by tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, tranny, the trannies, that is,” said Chief of Police. tranny, tranny ... tranny!” “Trannies are mad as hell, and they’re
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 85
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OUTRAGEOUS! Another BuzzFeed Quiz: Which Arizona Gay Are You?
OUTRAGEOUS!
New York City — BuzzFeed is the leading media company for the social age, intensely focused on delivering highquality original reporting, insight and viral content. They are also famous for their ANY RESEMBLANCE endless quizzes: What “Golden Girl” Are You? Which Britney Spears Song Describes You? Which Redneck Hillbilly State Should You Live In? and Which Crazy African Dictator Are You?
equate your unique identity to someone in the Arizona LGBT limelight,” said one BuzzFeed Quiz Administrator.
OUTRAGEOUS!
Do you collect autographed Andrew Christian undies sold online by sexy Latinos? Then TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY you’re ACCIDENTAL Clayton McKee! Do have less than “two degrees of separation” with everyone on Facebook? You’re Trevor Grant! Can you compare yourself to the “Tallest White Woman in Captivity”? You’re Tucson’s wacky Janée Starr. If you have so ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH much IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL thick, luxurious chest hair people think BuzzFeed’s creative team has rolled out yet you’re wearing a thick mink t-shirt in the ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL another BuzzFeed Quiz to litter Facebook summertime, you’re the delectable Kevin timelines: “Which Arizona Gay Are You?” DeCook.
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! “We’ve picked out dozens Arizona LGBT personalities and created a battery of scientifically accurate and quantifiable questions for readers to answer, wasting about 15 minutes per hour when you should be working, not surfing the net, that will
A wide variety of these quizzes means that a variety of the hookers, harlots, glamour gals, fun-makers, loudmouths and even a few reprobates of Arizona’s LGBT are just like you. Because BuzzFeed quizzes are never wrong.
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 87
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TAMMIE BROWN
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IBT’s
W
e all know a flamer or two ... or maybe more. Hell, everyone could benefit by adding a little bit of Richard Simmons in their walk and some Quentin Crisp in their wardrobe. But how do we really feel about the everyday performative aspect of sexual identities? Do we wanna date a nelly boy ... and can he be a top? Is an assimilated cookie cutter guy out of A&F the ideal ... and can he be a power bottom? Can we shake ‘em both up like a martini and have the best of both worlds? Of course we can! This month your Favorite Bitch is all about the simmering, the well-done and the boiling over! Dear Miss Tiger, My roommate is a flamer who wears women’s and men’s clothing. He also thinks he’s fabulous and brags about his expensive designer outfits. He’s not all that fierce! Should I tell him he has no fashion sense? By the way, I have enough style to dethrone that queen! — LeRoy
Dear Miss Tiger, I remained friends with my ex after our breakup. My current partner is Str8 Acting. He gets mad when my ex weighs in on our problems and begins attacking his effeminate nature, even going so far as calling him a “nelly old queen.” What should I do about all of this? — Roberto Dear Nobody Wants Their Shit-Stained Underwear Drying On A Clothes Line, Queens love gossip, so I’m not gonna trash your ex for listening to the bullshit. But please do everybody a favor and shut your goddamn keg hole! And as far as your triflin’ boyfriend ... how Str8 Acting is he when he’s suckin’ your dick? P.S. Get some self-control or a goddamn pot holder ... because you got one dude stirring the pot and the other one ready to boil the fuck over! Wanna talk to me LIVE about this kind of bullshit and more? Then join me June 16 on Derek and Romaine • SiriusXM OutQ 109 at 7 p.m. MT! Visit my website for more info about my radio appearances.
Dear I’m Surprised Your House Hasn’t Burned To The Damn Ground Because He Ain’t The Only Motha Fuckah That’s Flaming,
Miss Tiger
He may spout off names like Missoni and Pucci when folks ask him who he’s wearing. But take a peek at the labels and they’ll read H&M and three-seasons-afterthe-fact T•J•Maxx.
Website MissTiger.com
FYI—Unless you intend on paying all the rent your damn self, I advise you to shut the fuck up, let him keep on flaming and let someone else douse his fire. NEXT!
Advice Columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Facebook/Twitter MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com
June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 91
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I
loved May. And now it’s all over. All 31 days of glorious, marvelous May. You see, May was “National Masturbation Month” and let’s just say that every month is May for me. I like to take matters into my own hands, you could say. Autoerotic, self-manipulation is completely safe, too. Well, the last I heard it was. Now it’s June. Horrible, awful, hot, nasty June. And June is National Celibacy Awareness Month. You could say that every month is June for me, too. May and June months kinda go “handin-hand,” so to speak. Right? Or left. If you’re ambidextrous. Make up your mind already!
I had the good sense never to marry a fairy.
A
B
After Garland’s funeral on June 28, the sad homosexual Judy fans went on a drinking binge at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York D City. Well, they turned into mean drunks when they got their drank on and they rioted. Flash forward, that’s why we have “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on TV today.
C
Speaking “Drag Race,” that d-d-divine Scotty Kirby went to Las Vegas last month for the Finale Party where he rubbed elbows with contestants April Carrione (C), Darienne Lake (D) and the terminally delightful Ben De La Creme (E).
E
June is also National LGBT Pride Day. In a nutshell, it’s all because of the fabulous Judy Garland. Her birthday is June 10, 1922. Judy had an unhappy childhood because of bad perms (A) and a domineering mother. I had unhappy childhood, bad perms and a domineering mother, too, but I turned out relatively okay. Judy turned to drugs, alcohol, bad hats, even worse makeup (B) and married a bunch of gay men. I, too, endured a bout with drugs—well, Botox—alcohol, bad hats and lousy makeup, too, but at least
Poor, old Judy died from an overdose of barbiturates on the toilet in the middle of the night on June 22, 1969. One time I almost overdosed on Skittles and nearly died on the toilet in the middle of the night, too. “Over the Rainbow.” “Taste the Rainbow.” See the parallel? It’s Rainbows.
F
Fabulous Creature of the Night, a.k.a., Johnny Noir (F) unleashed his own special transglamour with his very own look he calls, “Drag in a Bag.” Word has it that a fleet of Production Assistants encouraged him to audition for Drag Race next season. Take my advice, Johnny, I think you should do “Judy.” Definitely. June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 95
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Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
J
une gives us more daylight hours in the Northern Hemisphere, so there’s no excuse for not getting work done. The Summer Solstice is June 21 at 3:51 a.m., bringing balance and equality in your personal life—if you plan ahead. In Iceland, if you bathe naked in the morning dew on June 24 you will keep aging at bay. Over 40? Book your ticket now. Over 50? Book it yesterday.
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
You’ll find a degree of polarity in your life this month. Everything is at odds it feels like. The planets recommend a limited dose of retail therapy. That means, “Shopping!” But Vegas is a “no-no.”
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
A romantic entanglement with two suitors leaves you in Love Limbo. You knew this would force you to choose. Admit it. You knew that. All along. Don’t be coy. You totally knew it.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
It’s a perfect month for Libras to demonstrate their divine ability to balance life, love, Work, Home and even the Truth when you’re confronted with a lie. You’re kinda like Judge Judy that way. Be fair.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
The prospect of a vacation is exciting! It’s a journey of discovery: you’ll find out something about yourself or family member you never knew. It might also involve a trip to Disneyland.
The sun rises in the constellation of Taurus at the beginning of June. This gives you a new lease with the course of events. Act quickly! This is a limited time offer! Wait, there’s more! It’s up to you to find out what “more” is.
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
Your dual nature is pushed to the extreme this month with the Solstice. Balancing your yin and yang is like walking a fine line. If you celebrate a birthday, live it up! You’ll do something that will make tongues wag.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
The Summer Solstice occurs in the Tropic of Cancer. This bodes well for you. You have specific needs that will be met: professionally, spiritually, emotionally and in the “You-Know-Where” Dept. Birthday parties abound.
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
I say, “to-MAY-to,” you say, “to-MAH-to.” You’re a bit contrary. You’re naturally a renegade and this month finds you in the middle of everything. Arguments, reconciliations and maybe between lovers. 98
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With the dawn of summer you’ll receive an enlightenment and awareness of others around you and a current situation. Or maybe that’s just bullshit. Your insight reveals the truth in a situation. Your customary navel gazing comes to an abrupt halt. Longer days means that it’s time to make hay while the sun doth shine. A burst of ambition and industry puts you in the lead. Keep up the momentum.
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
The precession or “wobble” of the Earth’s axis around the Solstice will leave you reeling. This will affect your judgement and perception of reality, which is always a little off-kilter anyway. You’re always kind of nutty, though. Oh well!
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Don’t rush into any decisions or commitments. Why? Someone may lay a trap just for you. Taking the moral high ground pays off in the long run. It doesn’t feel like fun now, but you’ll have a lot of fun later.