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REBUILT THE BODY. KEPT THE ENGINE. Stacked logo with gold drop and slight gradation on red
Stacked logo with gold drop and no gradation on red
Stacked 2 color
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DRAG SHOWS • MEN OF STRUT • GOGO BOYS UNDERWEAR NIGHT • SHOW TUNES • KARAOKE
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Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero .............................. jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ........................................ kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ....................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR Austin Head PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero ............................................... (602) 750-1164 Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ............ (520) 429-5905 ionazsales@me.com ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop ..................................................... (602) 301-8457 Photographers:
Fernando Hernandez Jerry O’Conner Don Thompson Danny Catt Scotty Kirby Sean Kapera ABOUT THE COVER:
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Show your Arizona Pride June 14-16 either in Flagstaff for Pride in the Pines, or at Bisbee Pride. Jordon is comfortable either North or South in cool, stylish clothes from Buffalo Exchange. Photography by Fernando Hernández with Nightfuse.com. Art direction and post-production artwork by Kevin Bushaw. National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:
Wes Bergman Deon Brown Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly C. Edwards
Ted Kirby Albert Rivas Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez Barbra Seville
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1995-2013: 18 Years of Design and Creative Excellence
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All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.
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hen I started ION Arizona almost 12 years ago, I wanted a name that reflected my love of this state and to focus on the advantages Arizona and the GLBTQ community offered. The original idea was “Eye on Arizona.” It came from “The Simpsons,” which featured its own TV show called, “Eye On Springfield.” That was too long for a masthead, so we abbreviated it to IONAZ. After years of mispronunciation we changed it to ION Arizona. In 2001, it was a Phoenixonly publication. Since then, we’ve grown to cover metro Phoenix, Tucson, Flagstaff, Bisbee, Sedona and the Verde Valley. This issue celebrates two unique and wonderful towns: Flagstaff and Bisbee who are both celebrating their annual Pride festivals this month. On the same day. Don’t ask why! Do you remember the 80s? Michael Jackson was topping the charts and Pac Man ruled the arcades. Chrysler almost went bankrupt and mullets were in. Then there was this crazy, female singer with a high-pitched voice named Cyndi Lauper. Although Michael Jackson is gone—and thank God mullets are gone, too—Cyndi continues on
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Eye on Arizona! with her music and her support of the GLBTQ community. ION was lucky enough to get an interview her in this issue. Check it out on page 22. We’re excited to announce a new addition to the ION family: Stacey Jay Cavaliere is our new Social Media Director. Stacey is a household name in our community. He worked for various bars and as an educator, and a published writer before becoming a leader at Q High with One N Ten. We’re excited to work with Stacey to expand out social media outreach. Even though the temperatures are rising in the Valley, now is the time to get out and discover the cooler parts of Arizona. Get it? Cooler! Use ION as your guide for all the fun things to do in the great state of Arizona.
Jack M. Tesorero President / Publisher
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DIAMOND’s BIRTHDAY
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KARAMBA
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S Y DA
S R HU
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E AG G T N N S ALO NGS O E G SO LIV SIN ITE NO AND OR A I P AR FAV HE OUR Y TO
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PUSSY’S MEMORIAL DAY SHOW
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CHARLIE’S
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Flawless Fridays at IBT’s Start off your weekend right with Flawless Fridays! The one and only China Collins hosts a dazzling drag show at 9 p.m. But don’t go anywhere! A fleet of hot ‘n’ humpy go-go boys take over at 11 p.m. and shake their money-makers for you. You can enjoy Smirnoff flavored vodka on special for only $3.75. It’s about time ... at IBTs in Tucson. 616 N. 4th Ave. Phone: 520-882-3053 IBTsTucson.com See ad on page 98
Pictures at an Exhibition Enjoy an afternoon of culture and entertainment presented by Desert Overture that will feature a solo performance by the amazing soprano, Jennifer Sheldon. This concert happens on Sunday June 9, at 3 p.m. Tempe Center for the Arts, 700 W. Rio Salado Pkwy. in Tempe. For tix call 480-350-2822 or go to TCA.TicketForce.com See ad on page 44
Phoenix Gay Flag Football League Are you ready for some football? Flag football, that is! Put on your jock and nut up! Be part of the Phoenix Gay Flag Football League! Join in the fun on June 8 & 15 at 9:30 a.m. at Colter Park, 910 W. Colter in Phoenix. Tryouts will be held for Gay Bowl XIII tournament teams. For more info check out PhoenixFlagFootball.com. See ad on page 56
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First Annual Aloha Party at FLEX Aloha, o’e! It’s Island Time at FLEX Phoenix! Enjoy some pool time! Who knows? You might learn the “Horizontal Hula” while you’re there! Wear a grass skirt—or a towel. It all happens on Saturday, June 22 sunset ‘til whenever! 1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy. Phone: 602-271-9011. See ad on page 96
National HIV Testing Day Who doesn’t love a big, fat, juicy weenie? If you played with one that wasn’t safely wrapped you might wanna consider getting tested. It’s the right thing to do! Know your status! Come to the 1 Voice Community Ctr. on Thursday, June 27 between 4-8 p.m. and get poked! Stick around for a delicious hot dog and lick the weenie! With relish! 4442 N. 7th Ave. in Phoenix. Free! See ad on page 81
JUNE 2013 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT
Sundays Sunday Funday Mondays Open Mic Night Fridays Amsterdam Fridays Fridays Friday Night Dance Party Fridays Wet Fridays Fridays Hothouse Tiki Bar Fridays Absolutely Flawless 8 & 15 Phx Gay Flag Football 9 Desert Overtures 14-16 Bisbee Pride 14-16 Pride in the Pines 15 Skin Tight Beach Party 15 Neon Nebulas 19 Pitbull &Ke$ha Afterparty 22 & 22 Customer Appreciation Party 21 Martinez Entertainment 22 Beach Party 23 Disco Night 23 Original Gay Comedy Night 27 Michael Jackson Tribute 27 Nat’l. HIV Testing Day
LOCATION
Zoan Zoan Amsterdam Apollo’s Charlie’s The Rock IBTs Colter Park Tempe Ctr. for the Arts All Around the City! Wheeler Park Karamba BS West Karamba Dick’s Cabaret Karamba BS West Charlie’s Comedy Spot Karamba 1Voice Community Ctr.
CITY
Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Tempe Bisbee Flagstaff Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Phoenix
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BEARRACUDA
More
THE ROCK
PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 21
WE BOP WITH
Cyndi Lauper by Deon Brown photos by Miranda Penn Turin 22
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urn back the clock all the way to 1983. The Reagans are in the White House. The final episode of the TV series M*A*S*H* airs. America West Airlines (now part of American Airlines) based here in Phoenix begins operations. Flashdance is in movie theatres. The McNugget debuts. Actors Jonah Hill and Mila Kunis are born. Michael Jackson introduces his “Moonwalk.” Vanessa Williams is crowned as the first African-American Miss America— resigning the next year amid scandal. Cyndi Lauper, a brash, zany, New Wave young woman from Queens, New York electrifies the world with the pop anthem, “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” peaking at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. It’s since been covered by over 30 other artists on albums or in concert, including a duet with Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj. It even made “Glee.” Lauper became the first female singer to have four top five Top 10 singles on the Hot 100 from one album, staying on the charts for 65 weeks. She won Best New Artist at the 1985 Grammys. The quirky singer performed in the all-star 1985 hit “We Are The World,” raising money for an impoverished Africa. This was only the start of the singer’s fundraising. She’s raised money and awareness for AIDS research,
anti-bullying, spousal abuse, racism, abortion issues and the National Runaway Switchboard. Her own True Colors fund and Forty to None Project, plus her contributions to the American Foundation for AIDS Research, Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, Human Rights Campaign, MAC AIDS Fund, Give A Damn Campaign, GLSEN, and PFLAG are all admirable. Cyndi Lauper is a hero for her GLBTQ fans. “It’s an honor to have the genuine affection of the Gay community. They have never turned their back on me. I will never turn my back on them. We’ve had a long and enduring love affair,” she said. For the 30th anniversary of her first solo album, “She’s So Unusual,” Lauper embarks on a national tour to celebrate, sing, dance and—well—have fun! Miss Lauper emailed her thoughts about her career, music, and giving back when ION Arizona asked, “Hey now, hey now! What’s the matter with you? Girls just wanna have fun, now!” ION: You recently had your own reality show, “Cyndi Lauper: Still So Unusual” broadcast on the WE Network. Tell us about it. Cyndi Lauper: I thought it would be interesting for fans to see the ins and outs of how these projects came to life, June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 23
and how I do my best to be a good mother/wife/daughter/ sister at the same time.
ION: Who’s music do you listen to?
CL: I’ve always loved all kinds of music. I listen to Joni Mitchell, Hunter Valentine, Matt and Kim, Pink, Swedish House Mafia, Nicki Minaj, Tegan & Sara and Janis Joplin. As you can tell from this playlist that I love music of all genres. ION: Anybody special out there you’d like to perform with? CL: Don’t think I can narrow it down to just one. I love Pink. I would love to write with Pink. ION: What would you be doing if you weren’t the Cyndi Lauper we all know and love today? CL: I can’t imagine not singing, writing and producing. I really cannot imagine not doing music; but I think I would be doing something creative. I think would have been a painter. ION: You’re touring again; it’s the 30th anniversary of your solo album, “She’s So Unusual.” How does that feel? CL: It’s a blink and it’s forever. Simon and Schuster published my autobiography [Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir] this year so I spent a lot of time looking back at what an amazing ride my life has been. I have a musical on 24
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Broadway called “Kinky Boots” that the audiences love and received 13 Tony noms. So this summer I’m getting ready with my dance shoes and celebrating with my fans that have been with me for all 30 years through all my different rides. ION: You’ve given so much of yourself to charity. What inspires you to help? CL: I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to raise awareness about equality and issues having an impact on the community that do not get enough attention—especially homeless Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender youth. We all should all do what we can to help others that are less fortunate. That’s just part of being human. ION: You’ve always been a champion for the GLBTQ community. Why is that? CL: I am family and friend. My sister is part of the community, as well as other family and friends. Where I come from when you see your family and friends’ civil rights being taken away, you speak up and do everything in your power to keep that from happening. ION: What would you like our readers to know about Cyndi Lauper that might surprise them? CL: I read tarot cards—but I think a lot of people know that. Also, I like to watch old movies from the glamour Hollywood years—that’s one of my favorite past times.
ION: What’s your favorite part of being Cyndi Lauper? CL: I love what I do. Every day is a different adventure. ION: What can we expect from Cyndi Lauper in the next 30 years? CL: Making more music and touring— but maybe not so much as I do now. ION: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? CL: I would be able to be in numerous places at the same time ION: Do girls—and boys—still just wanna have fun? CL: Definitely! Cyndi Lauper is the composer of the Broadway hit “Kinky Boots,” leading this year’s Tony award season with 13 nominations, including Best Original Score. The original cast album is now available. She still bops! Have fun all through the night with Cyndi Lauper on Saturday, June 22 8 p.m. Talking Stick Resort. 9800 E. Indian Bend Rd. in Scottsdale. For tickets got to TicketMaster.com or call 480-8507734 or 800-745-3000 She performs at The FOX Theatre in Tucson on Sunday, June 23. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 25
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OPENING NIGHT
STACY’S ON MELROSE
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yton th Cla w” i w r i A ho On the and “The S a e c i McKe Talk Amer Q on
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ood evening, Mr. and Mrs. America “ from border to border and coast-to-coast and all the ships at sea.” Times have changed. In a way. Or maybe not. The airwaves are a lot more than Top 40, evangelists, news and Right Wing Republican rhetoric on the dial today. Sirius, Pandora, Rhapsody and Podcasts provide content that have expanded on Marconi’s “wireless” that we now know as “radio” in less than a century. QTalk America jumped into this medium three years ago. The network broadcasts syndicated shows from Los Angeles and New York in addition to six weekly live local shows. Audience favorite, “The Show with Clayton McKee” celebrated their first anniversary on the air, YouTube, the www dot, the ether and on iTunes. It started back in 1988. McKee was a kid with a pompadour and a dream, and was fresh out of high school in Joplin, Missouri when he got his start in radio. All because of—guess who? Yep. George Michael. “He just released ‘I Want Your Sex.’ It was taboo; in the Midwest it couldn’t be played between noon and 3 p.m. I’d call the night DJ to talk about it and he invited me over. I’d never seen the inside of a station—this was back when they had reel-to-reels and read AP copy off of the wire service. Well, the manager found out and I was thrown out. Two weeks later I got a job there as Alan Michaels, WNJH AM 1450—the oldest radio station west of the Mississippi, and the only call letters beginning with ‘W’ in the West,” Clayton remembers.
McKee was a finalist in a “George Michael Look-alike Contest” via Maury Pauvich and The Ladies’ Home Journal, competing against 500 other wannabees who imitated the former Wham! frontman. “I worked the hell outta that as much as I could!” Clayton laughed. But he couldn’t make money at it. Since moving to Phoenix 20 years ago this month, Clayton is Mr. Everywhere —he’s often the voice announcing the events at galas and fundraisers as well as providing the running commentary at the Phoenix Pride Parade, Charlie’s, Drag Bingo at Apollo’s ... the list goes on ... and on for the tireless Mouth That Roared. Initially, McKee was apprehensive about doing a show for founder/producer Joe Dugandzic’s then two-year old QTalk America network. “But I was astounded how they did it! Four iPods, four microphones and a small soundboard created an entire network,” Clayton said. “I decided that I’d make an attempt with ‘The Show.’ We were only an audio stream for months, now there’s a video stream so listeners can watch. Joe Dugandzic has done everything for us,” Clayton elaborated. In a giant sea of podcasts, “Clayton McKee and The Show” has a voice that’s heard with listeners from Costa Rica, France, Saudi Arabia, Canada, Mexico, Kuwait the U.K., and Australia. Harrison in Southern California and Tyler in Tennessee are always in the chatroom interacting with the gang. Downloads exceeded 3,000 over the past year. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 29
QTalk America’s Joe Dugandzic couldn’t be happier. “‘The Show’ is the most popular program QTalk has on the air. It’s a huge honor that Clayton McKee chose to ally himself with us.” “I’m surprised—and thankful— that so many people from different walks of life find us and interact. It’s interesting that anybody gives a damn about what we say,” said Clayton. The three-hour show has a solid panel with McKee’s affable cohorts Al Perkins, Katy June and Marnie Reheir. And their trusty Hamilton-Beach blender. “The blender is really the fifth cast member,” says Katy June. “Everybody brings their own stuff to the table. With a groove of news, sports, entertainment; everyone found their niche.” Clayton went on to explain, “I wanted it to be a morning show at night. I wanted it to be fun and for people to enjoy what we talk about. Not full of big political statements. That’s for Al,” he kidded. Clayton and Marnie share headlines in the news. Entertainment and The Drinking Game is spurred on by a “secret word” divined by Al each week. Katy June covers sports. The last hour of the broadcast features “Thoughtful Vulgarity” when the panel is admittedly half-in-the-bag and start asking one another “insightful questions.” Panel favorite Al Perkins said, “I’ve always loved talk shows. My lifelong dream was to do a Mike Douglas/ Merv Griffin-style show. I loved them because they were pushy enough to open with a song.” Perkins is a Broadway expert, by the way. 30
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“The election night show is still my favorite. I was so overly prepared. It was ludicrous. I was ready to go on ‘Meet The Press’ and be all serious and it ended up being just a funny way to get someone else to watch the news with while you drank,” he laughed. “I really like the ‘news’ stories, too. There was one story out of Finland about a dead cat that was stuffed and given propellers flying around and herding cattle. I pretty much lost control for the rest of the show. That episode is called, ‘The Fur is Flying.’” Katy June said, “Clayton is such a tuned-in voice for Phoenix and it’s so much fun to be a part of this. I was intimidated when I first filled in; they’re all so smart and funny and have great chemistry. I really feel at home.” Sidekick Marnie Reiher speculated, “I have always been known as the voice of reason, albeit known as such predominantly in groups of people who consume alcohol in above average amounts. So I was a natural to play the ‘Ed McMahon’ to Clayton’s ‘Johnny Carson.’” “I look forward to spending time with three people whom I adore saying whatever we want. It’s not edited. I can’t say at a Gala what I say on the show,” Clayton laughed. So what’s “The Show with Clayton McKee” really about? “We’re a group of friends who get together, have some cocktails, laugh and talk our asses off,” said cohost Marnie Reiher. “We exceed expectations in all of those areas—but the laughing is my favorite part of every Tuesday. It’s good for the soul.” You can listen to (and watch) The Show with Clayton McKee on QTalkAmerica.com every Tuesday at 7 p.m., MST. Subscribe and download past shows in your App store or iTunes, or watch on YouTube. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 31
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Discounts subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, IL. Š 2009 Allstate Insurance Company
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Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson Our 7th president was a Tennessee mo’fo’ who kicked British ass in the Battle of New Orleans, served a 1,400 pound wheel of cheese in the White House on his Inauguration Day, plus got his picture on a $20 bill. Ron May directs this hilarious, exciting, sexy, politically charged rock musical, June 6-23 at Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. Phoenix. Joe Kremer plays “Henry Clay.” How hot is that? Go to PhoenixTheatre.com or call 602-254-2151
The Original Gay Comedy Night The GLBTQ community has a different take on comedy. Check out the Original Gay Comedy Night with the Valley’s own Maryanne Marttini and other GLBTQ local funny folk. Kristin Key headlines. You’ll laugh until the Grey Goose Vodka comes shooting out of your nose! It all happens at 7 p.m. Sunday, June 23 at The Comedy Spot, 7117 E. 3rd Ave. Scottsdale. 480-945-4422 For tix & more info visit TheComedySpot.net
Sister Act Saints preserve us! Showgirl Deloris Van Cartier witnesses a mob hit and the cops hole her up in a convent for safety. She learns the Golden Rule— and teaches the nuns a few new “habits”—all for their own good. It comes to town June 25-30 at ASU Gammage in Tempe, 1200 S. Forest Ave. For tickets visit ASUGammage.com or call 480-965-3434.
JUNE 2013 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 6 Mark Maron StandUp Live - Phoenix 9 Tabatha Coffey Mesa Arts Center 6-23 Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson Phoenix Theatre 7-7/28 The Mousetrap Desert Stages Theatre thru 8 Side Show Nearly Naked Theatre thru 8 T Bone N Weasel iCollaborative Theatre - Phx 16 Noises Off Mesa Encore Theatre 23 The Original Gay Comedy Night Comedy Spot - Scottsdale 25-30 Sister Act - ASU Gammage Tempe thru 23 Into the Woods AZ B’way Theatre 28-30 Jamie Kennedy StandUp Live - Phoenix
PHONE 480-719-1600 480-644-6500 602-254-2451 480-483-1664 602-254-2151 602-347-1071 480-644-6500 480-945-4422 480-965-3434 623-776-8400 480-719-1600
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NIGHT FOR LIFE
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PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com
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Pandora Boxx and Sherry Vine It’s RuPaul’s Drag Race fan favorite, the fabulous Pandora Boxx! Start your engines now, because the winsome blonde will be on stage bringing her hilarious hijinx to Flagstaff Pride in the Pines on Saturday, June 15 on the Main Stage in Wheeler Park at 212 W. Aspen Ave. The sensational Sherry Vine is headlining “Knock Down Drag Out” in Bisbee at the Central School Project, 43 Howell Ave. from 7 p.m.-midnight on Saturday, June 15. It’s a win-win wherever you go!
JUNE 2013 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Fri 7 8 & 11pm The Rock Cabaret Rosch Wed 12 10:30pm Karamba Karime’s Birthday Bash Thurs 13 9:00pm The Rock Halle O’Day EOY Benefit Fri 14 10:00pm The Rock Juke Joint with Sherry Vine, Pandora DeStrange & More Sat 15 10:00pm Granny’s Closet Pussy LeHoot & Friends Fri 21 10:00 The Rock Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens Fri 28 10:00pm The Rock Lady Christian’s Trailer Trash Revue Wed 7/3 10:300pm Karamba Pre Independence Day Show Tues 7/9 9:00pmq IBT’s TRANIMAL with Janee Star WEEKLY SHOWS Mondays 6 & 9pm The Rock Movie Mashup with Victoria Bacon Mondays BS West Have It Your Way Mondays Mondays 10:00pm Charlie’s Barbra Seville w/ Strippers! Mondays 10:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo Tuesday 10:00pm Karamba Savannah Moussier’s Show Wednesdays 9:00pm IBT’s Viva La DIVA Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Girls of Karamba - Adriana Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Claudia B. & Company Thursdays 10:00pm Amsterdam DRAG IS BACK! with Coco St. James & Celia Putty Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Fridays 9:00pm IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins Fridays 10:00pm Cruisin’ 7th The Barbra Seville Show Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Saturday All Night Amsterdam Dance Party with Pop Up Drag Saturdays 9:00pm IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star Saturdays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams Saturdays 10:00pm The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show 1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Celia Putty Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Diamond’s Show
June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 39
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with
Barbra Seville
T
t’s The B-List! Your own personal glance at the who, what, where, and WTF that have caught the short attention span (Squirrel!) of America’s Favorite Blonde, Barbra Seville! This is a peek into the whims, flights of fancy, and thorns in the side of a busy, dizzy queen. And, yes. Again, that queen would be Miss Seville! Here’s my scale: B+ = PERFECT B = GOOD B- = Not a Complete Waste of TIme F= Bitch, please! It’s not always about being first here at “The B List,” but about catching the eye (or ear) of America’s Favorite Blonde. Buzzing in my ears this month are the fabulous tunes from Baz Luhrman’s “The Great Gatsby.” While the movie was not quite “great,” the music is just that—and then some! You’ve got Beyoncé covering Amy Winehouse and Emeli Sandé covering Beyoncé. From a creepy rendition of The Turtle’s “Happy Together,” to the painful (in a good way) version of “Young and Beautiful” by Lana del Rey, this soundtrack is practically sound crack, because I keep going back for more. B+ When I saw Julia Louis Dreyfuss win an Emmy for “Veep,” I figured it was just politics as usual (pun intended!) The Emmys seem to get a crush on someone and keep throwing trophies their way. Then I watched an episode (and another, and another) of the HBO series. Basically it’s Elaine Benes from “Seinfeld” as the Vice
President. Selfabsorbed, foul mouthed and hopeless, she navigates the treacherous world of Washington, DC. You have never heard so many uses for the “F word.” There’s also eye-candy in the form of the dreamy Reid Scott as the Veep’s slimy Deputy Director. B Through the years “RuPaul’s Drag Race” has brought us the Good (Pandora Boxx, Jessica Wild, and Jinyx Monsoon) and the Bad (Phi Phi O’Hara, Coco Montrese, and Serena Cha-cha) but it’s also unleashed a new breed of queen, which my friends have dubbed: the “Insta-Queen.” I blame RuPaul, but it’s more than her fault. It’s also the virtually unlimited resources that are available to a would-be queen. Lifting drag performers’ mixes off of YouTube, copying costumes and gimmicks from pageant videos, and yes: styling yourself after the queens of RPDR. Kiddies: drag should be personal, it should be spontaneous, and it should tell the audience something about you. My (unsolicited) advice to our “Legendary Children of Tomorrow”: The roles of Sharon Needles, Carmen Carrera, and Roxxy Andrews have been cast—so find your own identity. BThe B-List with Barbra Seville is a fully integrated mutimedia experience online at our Live Blog. Visit IONAZ.COM and enjoy! June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 41
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602.753.3251
4020 N. 20th St • Ste 101 Phoenix, AZ 85016
by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net
Yo, DJ! What’s New? Daft Punk – Random Access Memories
Best known for their smash “One More Time,” Daft Punk is often credited for bringing funktified dance to mainstream radio. Eight years since Human After All, this punk’s punch hasn’t softened one bit, even though the overall theme of this album has a chilled element. As expected, “Memories” is infiltrated with experimental vocoders, voices, layering and sounds of rock, punk and dance. Lead single “Get Lucky” featuring Pharrell, is pure magic and a classic ode to modern disco funk. Also of note are “Instant Crush,” “Fragments of Time” and “Give Life Back.”
GRADE : A-
She & Him
– Volume 3 Patsy
Cline meets Dusty Springfield meets the Beach Boys—say what? Actress Zooey Deschanel proves to be a musical force with her vocals and writing on this third volume of swagger, seduction and harmonies. “I Could Have Been” is one of this sets standouts with its fast tempo and an almost Blondie-meets-k.d. lang feel. Then there’s the throwback quintessential “Shadow of Love” that captures the 50s with a gentle twang. Find great support from the covers “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” and “Sunday Girl,” where the originals are juxtaposed with a 21st century re-boot. This is great music! GRADE: B+
June 2013
Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines –
Normally writing about a single is not something reserved for here, but this song is so good that it deserves special attention. In fact, it’s so good that an album of the song repeated ten times would be better than some artists’ full-length EPs. Part Justin Timblerlake with the best of nostalgic Prince and a hint of Michael Jackson, this will be the this summer’s anthem. Full of falsettos, an infectious bassline and a catchy “Hey hey hey,” this tune has swagger and sophistication. It’s music like this that makes you go, “Ahhhh!” Robin’s full length is expected to drop in July. GRADE: A++ More info is being circulated about Lady Gaga’s third album, Artpop. A lead single could drop in August with the album in September. Artpop is predicted to take on a different tone as she’s exploring new production talent from Zedd and Madeon. Gaga says that she wants something crazy. Artpop could come as a two-volume set released over a period of time. Stay tuned for new stuff from: Sigor Ros, Queens of the Stone Age, Boards of Canada, Ben Folds Five, Harry Connick, Jr., Matthew Morrison, Jimmy Eat World and Ashanti. A “must” for disco and dance music lovers and historians is Sylvester’s Mighty Real: Greatest Dance Hits on pink vinyl and CD with rare tracks and new remixes. www.IONAZ.com 43
Come Sing
with US! Sign up now for Fall 2013 Auditions
PhoenixMensChorus.org/auditions or call
602-228-5587 44
www.IONAZ.com June 2013
Mumford & Sons The banjo hasn’t been this popular since that weird, inbred, hillbilly kid in Deliverance went to town. Now, from the backwoods of London’s West End, the English folk rock band Mumford & Sons are pickin’ & grinnin’ with their alternative bluegrass music hearkening to America’s musical roots. They’ll have a hoedown on Wednesday, June 5 at Desert Sky Pavilion, 2121 N. 83rd Ave in Phoenix. Visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000
She & Him
Everybody’s favorite quirky girl, actress and chanteuse Zooey Deschanel and her sidekick M. Ward, pack up their ukulele, piano, guitar and cat hair-covered cardigan sweaters and come to town to promote their fourth album, “Volume 3.” This talented, indie duo will light up the stage on Tuesday, June 18 at at the Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. Phoenix. For tix go to LiveNation.com or call 602-379-2888
Pitbull & Ke$ha Miami Rap, Hip Hop artist and Dr. Pepper huckster, Pitbull, joins up with talky, yodeling “Tik Tok” Ke$ha for songs about binge drinking and boffing the DJ. So c’mon, Warriors! Pour on the glitter on Wednesday, June 19 and we’ll see you at Desert Sky Pavilion, 2121 N. 83rd Ave in Phoenix. Visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000. Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young!
JUNE 2013 ION Concert Calendar DATE 3 5 6 6 7 7 8 9 11 13 15 16 18 18 19 21 22 23
ARTIST LOCATION PHONE Imagine Dragons Comerica Theatre 800-745-3000 Mumford & Sons Desert Sky Pavilion 800-745-3000 Alan Parsons Project Talking Stick Resort- Scottsdale 800-745-3000 Psychedelic Furs Rialto Theatre - Tucson 520-740-1000 Alice Cooper & Marilyn Manson Casino del Sol - Tucson 800-344-9435 REO Speedwagon Pepsi Amphitheatre- Flagstaff 866-9PROTIX Jewel Wild Horse Pass - Chandler 877-840-0457 Desert Overture Tempe Ctr. for the Arts - Tempe 480-350-2TCA Fall Out Boy Marquee Theatre - Tempe 480-829-0707 Cody Simpson Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 602-267-1600 Morris Day & the Time Wild Horse Pass - Chandler 877-840-0457 Cheap Trick & Pat Benatar Casino del Sol - Tucson 800-344-9435 She & Him Comerica Theatre - Phoenix 800-745-3000 Martina McBride Casino del Sol - Tucson 800-344-9435 Pitbull & Ke$ha Desert Sky Pavilion - Phx 800-745-3000 Martina McBride Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 602-267-1600 Cyndi Lauper Talking Stick Resort - Scottsdale 800-745-3000 Cyndi Lauper The FOX Theatre 520-547-3040 June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 45
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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
Man of Steel Starring: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe, Diane Lane Ooh, look! Another Superhero movie! This one, directed by Zach Snyder (The Watchmen) and produced by Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight Rises) is another reboot (of the gritty variety) of the Superman franchise. Born on Krypton, Kal-El is dispatched by his parents to Earth, where he is raised as “Clark” by the Kents—a farmer (Kevin Costner) and his wife (Lane, Unfaithful.) Eventually, Clark Kent (Cavill) grows up to take a job working as a reporter for The Daily Planet, where he meets Lois Lane (Adams), as investigative reporting is the go-to job for anyone with supernatural abilities. Naturally, something awful happens and in order to defend the hapless humans on his adopted planet, Clark Kent must assume another identity, as, yep—Superman. I wonder what’ll happen? Release Date: June 14
World War Z Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Anthony Mackie, James Badge Dale, Bryan Cranston Based on the book by Max Brooks of the same name, World War Z
is a post-apocalyptic horror movie about a global battle against the undead. The original book, a follow-up to the wildly successful, The Zombie Survival Guide, was designed as an oral history of this fictional world war while using the rules outlined in the preceding novel. Brad Pitt stars as Gerry Lane, a UN employee, who travels the world interviewing survivors of the zombie apocalypse, trying to ascertain if there’s a way to stem the tide of this global pandemic. Told primarily as a retrospective, anticipate lots of actionpacked flashbacks. Directed by Marc Forster (Monster’s Ball, Finding Neverland), this is surely going to be this summer’s “must-see.” Release Date: June 21
The Heat Starring: Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy Two powerhouse comedians unite in this comedyadventure from 20th Century Fox. Sandra Bullock (Miss Congeniality) is Sarah Ashburn, a rigid, unyielding FBI special agent who partners with Shannon Mullins (McCarthy, Bridesmaids), the quintessential “loose cannon” Boston cop in order to take down a Russian drug kingpin. If they are to be successful, they’ll have to learn to work with one another—something neither of them have ever had to do. Release Date: June 28 June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 47
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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com
S
ummer is here and can only mean one thing: “True Blood” is back June 16 for their sixth season on HBO. Our favorite fang-banger and fairy, Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) has to deal with her former possessed lover, Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer). Last season ended with Bill drinking the blood of Lilith and being reincarnated as “Billith.” It doesn’t help that Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) is Target #1 from the Authority. I could spend this entire column writing about Pam Swynford de Beaufort (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and why she’s ah-may-zing. “I’m so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina! And her unbelievably stupid name!” Preaching to the homo, Pam. Apparently Pam is now in love with Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley.) Don’t forget our sexy Vampirein-Heat, Jessica Hambry (Deborah Ann Woll)—everyone is aware of my obsession with redheads, right?—lusting over dimwitted yet Sex-on-a-Stick, Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten). This show has the tendency to—well— ”suck” and drag on at first, but once we hit the halfway mark everything gets bloody good. Of course, the reason to watch this series is all in part thanks to Alcide (Joe Manganiello), the “why-is-he evenwearing-clothes?” werewolf. Vampires, fairies, and lots of Gay loving, oh my!
Summer also meant goodbye for some TV hopefuls. The networks have nearly all presented their fall lineup and to some shows we bid “auf Wiedersehen.” There’s no curtain call for NBC’s “SMASH.” One would think a show with that name would be a hit; this crashed. This season was definitely not one for the Gays. CBS’s “Partners” by creators Kohan and Mutchnik (“Will & Grace”) with the fab Michael Urie from “Ugly Betty” flopped. Colossally. NBC’s freshman comedy “The New Normal” proved abnormal. Surprising, since Ryan Murphy has great hits with “Glee” and “American Horror Story” series. One show deserving recognition was ABC’s “Happy Endings” about six friends living in Chicago. (Does the plot sound familiar?) What worked were the two break out stars, Max Blum (Adam Pally) played a chubby, lazy Gay bear. He broke the overused mold of the flamboyant queen. In the end, he’s just like us: trying to find love. Penny Hearts (Casey Wilson) will do anything for a man. She is the epitome of a Fag Hag and a Gay Husband. Not only quirky, she also had a song and dance to go with Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn.” Although this show flew under the radar, Hulu has a several of episodes available. I’ll find more TV to chase those Summertime Blues away. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 49
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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com
asked the question, “How can you have thousands of Facebook friends and still feel alone?” I got excited. When she decided to personally visit the first 50 people who responded to her status update to meet them face-to-face, I was thrilled.
Steel Magnolias (2012) Starring: Queen Latifah, Alfre Woodard, Phylicia Rashad, Condola Rashad, Jill Scott, Adepero Oduye I usually take a dim view of remakes, often wondering if the filmmaker who messes with perfection isn’t a little —as they say in the South— “touched.” Yet after watching Director Kenny Leon’s remake of the 1989 classic chick flick—this time with an all African-American cast—the rewards outweigh the risk. Like the original film and stage play weepies, this faithful Lifetime TV adaptation chronicles the lives of M’Lynn, Ouiser, Clairee, Shelby, Truvy and Annelle as they navigate their challenges with grace, dignity and humor, often in curlers in Truvy’s carport hair salon. I thought no one could hold a candle to Shirley MacLaine’s Ouiser, but Alfre Woodard is perfect as the beloved curmudgeon, while Phylicia Rashad as Clairee provides just the right amount of “sweet” to Woodard’s “sour.” Adepero Oduye, who thrilled me in last year’s Pariah, fades a bit into the background, but Annelle wasn’t meant to take center stage. Everyone brings their finest, especially Queen Latifah who had some big shoes to fill as M’Lynn, because nobody cries like Sally Field. Available on DVD. Face2Face (2012) Starring: Katherine Brooks. When reality TV director Katherine Brooks
In the age of social networking we are confronting a paradox: we’re closer than ever, yet further apart. Here was a golden opportunity to forgo the selfcentered world of one-sided status updates in favor of forging meaningful connections. What I got instead was 107-minutes of Brooks’ emotional bloodletting to the camera and with her in-person visits while in search of a hug. Undeniably, Brooks, a Lesbian, had been through some unspeakable horrors in her youth, but the entire point of the documentary—as stamped on her SUV—was “50 cities, 50 people, 50 stories” so why was the only story I ever heard her own? Available on DVD. Joshua
Tree, 1951: A Portrait of James Dean (2012)
Starring: James Preston, Dan Glenn, Dalilah Rain, Erin Daniels The dreamy film’s cinematography of rich blacks and crisp whites, is gorgeous and former Abercrombie & Fitch model James Preston is a dead-ringer for the tormented Dean, but this film—parsed out in fictional vignettes punctuated by slow fades-toblack—would have been better off as a series of photographs than in a medium that demands some semblance of a storyline. Available on DVD June 4. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 51
a’s ul H
We can’t promise him. But we can promise a hell of a Mai Tai.
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Screaming Banshee Pizzeria SHOUT! SHOUT! LET IT ALL OUT!
very day you walk out the door you “ will have an amazing experience. Everything that’s been my favorite experiences in life has manifested itself right here in Bisbee,” says Kerri Blankenship, the founder and owner of Screaming Banshee Pizza. When she decided to take a road trip eight years ago after she flipped a coin, Kerri landed in Tombstone. A local visionary in the Town Too Tough to Die named Electric Dave prophesied and told her, “Go to Bisbee.” So Kerri did what any person in their right mind would do. She packed up and moved from Maryland where she was a teacher to the old mining town in the Mule Mountains. Kerri spent over two years renovating an old filling station and opened Screaming Banshee Pizza. The name is a nod to her Gaelic heritage. In addition to the great menu, Screaming Banshee gives the diner an entire experience—yep. There’s that word again. Kerri begins every evening with a cleansing ceremony using a white sage smudge stick.
Step inside to the Vortex Bar where you’re bound to feel a Harmonic Convergence of energy with Kerri’s life partner Nik behind the bar. Nik’s talents for mixology result in the creation of custom cocktails with names like, “Lipstick on my Lover” and shots called, “Jade Monkey.” If you’re really lucky Nik will give you one of her famous, enveloping hugs. It’s part of the experience, believe me. Start off with one of their “Small Things.” We enjoyed “No Besos Para Ti.” You’ll get a generous, creamy, house-roasted garlic bulb served with crostini, basil pesto and balsamic for $4.95. Or try their antipasto, cheese board, bruschetta or wood fired wings, among other temptations. The artisan wood-fired pizzas are all hand-tossed in the open, served in an Italian rustic style, around 14 inches. The
“Screaming Banshee” is a “white pizza,” with house-made fennel sausage, mozzarella fresca, house-roasted onions, mushroom and rosemary for $14.95. Try it “bloody” with red sauce. All five pizzas are available gluten free. If you like, you can even build your own! A “must” is the “Bearded Clam Pasta.” A huge bowl of mussels, clams and shrimp in a creamy house-made pink sauce with tomatoes and piquillo peppers over linguini with parmesan cheese. The crustaceans are fresh, plump, flavorful and you get plenty of ‘em for $15.95. Enough to share—if you’re willing. Try Nik’s Cuban Sandwich: a pork
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tenderloin “hand spanked with love,” for $8.95. Build a Calzone, have a fresh salad, devour a dessert. Relax. Be sure to take your time. Kerri’s right: Screaming Banshee Pizza is one of the amazing experiences in Life. Hug Nik on your way out. 200 Tombstone Canyon Rd. 520-432-1300 Sun: 11 a.m.- 9 p.m Brunch: 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon: CLOSED Tues-Wed: 4 p.m.-9 p.m. Thurs-Sat. 11 a.m.-10 p.m.
Lunch. Dinner. Late Night. Weekend Brunch. Online Reservations @ blissonfourth.com • 602.795.1792 blissrebar
@blissrebar
foursquare.com/blissrebar
901 north 4th street • 602.795.1792
More Bliss In Your Life 33 New or Enhanced Menu Items. More Vegetarian, Entree & Brunch Selections. Plus Your Regular Bliss Favorites.
$5 Mondays
5 Apps priced at $5 plus Happy Hour all day
$10 Tuesdays
$10 any sandwich, side salad, choice of soda, domestic bottled beer, or house wine
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20% off entire bill until 9pm* All alchohol half-price 9pm – close *excludes already discounted items
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Cool Daily Deals! Food deals 5-10pm
And drink deals all day.
Fresh Food, Classic Drinks, Casual Comfort. Lunch. Dinner. Late Night. Weekend Brunch. Reservations @ fezoncentral.com or 602.287.8700 fezoncentral
SwitchofArizonA.com 602.264.2295
switchofarizona
June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 55
Phoenix Gay Flag Football League (PGFFL) Join the Family. June 8th & 15th 9:30 a.m. at Colter Park (910 W Colter St. – one block north of 7th Avenue & Camelback) Tryouts will be held for Gay Bowl XIII tournament teams (A division, B division and Recreation)
Return to Excellence October 10 -14 For more info visit www.phoenixflagfootball.com
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Come see what we’re all about with one month of fRee SWImmInG! Visit us online for swim locations, swim times and to find out more about the Sunfish.
www.phoenixsunfish.org
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Hangin’ at Wheeler Park Photos by Fernando Hernandez Clothing by Buffalo Exchange Phoenix Models are Bret, Jordon & Kevin. Styling by Bret Thomas. 58
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P
ick a Pride! Celebrate Pride high and low, north and south and—well—top to bottom! Head up north to cool Flagstaff for 17 years of “Pride in the Pines,” or go south for the 9th Annual Bisbee Pride & Street Fair. Take advantage of the entertainment, fun, music and show off your Arizona Pride! These Pride events both happen June 14-16. ION Arizona scouted out both of these historic towns and we’ve picked out a crowd-pleasing schedule of events for you! All you need to do is pick a Pride! You can’t go wrong!
The Northern Arizona Pride Association (NAPA) is excited to announce that Pride in the Pines has grown to a two-day festival at Flagstaff’s Wheeler Park on June 15 and June 16, 2013. “We’re excited about expanding our Pride Festival to a two-day event,” said NAPA president Kathryn Jim. “And especially having the opportunity to thank the community of Flagstaff for their ongoing support with the Humphreys Music Festival. We have a great lineup both days and we’re looking forward to two days of great fun and music celebrating the diversity of our community.” For more tickets and information about Pride in the Pines, GLBTQ resources and Pride Hotels visit FlagstaffPride.org June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 59
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Friday, June 14 “Taste the Rainbow Bout at 7000 feet”
You can’t resist the fun of a Roller Derby Double-Bout! The crash-bang excitement starts at 6pm at The SportStop at Flagstaff Athletic Club, 3200 Country Club Drive. Admission is $10 at the door. Tickets are also available at FlagstaffPride.org or at Crystal Magic.
Pride Kick Off Neon Party at The Green Room
Join Afeelya Bunz and Friends when they chanté and sashay at the official Flagstaff Pride venue, The Green Room, 15 North Agassiz Street. The show starts at 9:30 p.m. Admission is $5 at the door. This show is 21+
Saturday, June 15 Pride in the Pines Festival
The 17th Annual Pride in the Pines Festival will be at Wheeler Park at 212 W. Aspen Ave in downtown Flagstaff. You’ll find the best vendors Flagstaff has to offer, and a Children’s Area, too. This fun-filled event is dog friendly! This year’s headliner is “American Idol” and television personality Kimberly Caldwell. Also appearing on the main stage will be British Pop/ Rocker and AOL Featured Artist Adam Tyler along with the hilarious showstopper from RuPaul’s Drag Race, fan favorite all-star comedian Pandora Boxx.
Official White Party at The Green Room
Catch Afeelya Bunz and the sidesplittingly funny headliner Pandora Boxx from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” at The Green Room, 15 North Agassiz Street. The show starts at 9:30 p.m. Admission is $10 at the door. This show is 21+
Pussy LeHoot and Friends at Grannie’s Closet
Our own Sweetheart of the Superstitions packs up the ol’ covered wagon and heads up to the San Francisco Peaks for a special show! Pussy LeHoot performs with her friends Claudia B., Miss Ebony and Bunny Fu Fu for an evening of laffs (and a little love) at Granny’s Closet, 218 S. Milton St. Saturday night at 10:30 p.m. No cover!
Sunday, June 16 Sunday Brunch at Monsoon on the Rim
You won’t want to miss joining your friends at Sunday Brunch on the patio at Monsoon on the Rim—a Chinese Bistro and Sushi Restaurant in beautiful downtown Flagstaff at 6 E. Aspen Ave. Here’s two very good reasons: a Bottomless Mimosa and a Bloody Mary Bar—for $15. We’ll see you starting at 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Humphreys Music Festival
Day Two of Pride in the Pines Weekend will be the introduction of the Humphreys Music Festival at Wheeler Park. The theme is, “Community United.” Headlining this inaugural festival will be three-time Grammy Award Winner and Blues Artist Keb’ Mo’. Also appearing will be singer/songwriters Catie Curtis and Tyrone Wells. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 61
In Front of the Weatherford Hotel Jordon’s Southwest Tank & Jean Shorts available Buffalo Exchange. 62
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Bisbee’s Main Drag Bret is wearing a Smokey the Bear Tee & Camo Backpack. Jordon’s Canvas Messenger Bag available at Buffalo Exchange. 64
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estled at the foot of the Mule Mountains, quirky, funky Bisbee is one of the grande dames of Arizona, and once the largest city between St. Louis and San Francisco, with a population over 20,000—and 47 saloons. The Wild West may be gone, but you can still get rowdy in Brewery Gulch with the friendly townfolk. Enjoy shopping along with great food and drink. The Bisbee Hospitality Group invites you to start your day at The Bisbee Coffee Company with a mighty fine cup o’ joe. Grab a bite at Bisbee’s Table or Santiago’s Mexican restaurant. Stay at the cozy Hotel San Ramon. Welcome to Bisbee! Your new Arizona hometown. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 65
Saturday, June 15 Street Fair & Beer Garden
10 a.m.-6 p.m. — Join your friends at Grassy Park in the heart of Bisbee next to the Mining Museum. Visit arts & crafts vendors, listen to live music and experience what makes Bisbee interesting and visit the unique merchants and shops open on Main Street.
Friday, June 14 Golf Tournament
9:30 a.m. — Golf Tournament at the Turquoise Valley Golf course. $50 includes golf, cart, Mexican buffet and prizes!
Hot Ass Happy Hour
4 p.m. — See you at Screaming Banshee Pizza. The place to see and be seen! Specialty cocktails crafted by the fabulous Nik.
Old Bisbee Ghost Tour
7 p.m. — Boo! Experience the spirit world and things that go bump in the night! Meet at the steps of the Mining Museum. Catch it again at 7 p.m. on Saturday night, too. $13. Reservations required. 520-4323308
Miners & Madames Street Dance
8 p.m.-midnight — Cut a rug in front of the historic Copper Queen Hotel! Dress up as a miner or as a Lady of the Night and be part of the Wild, Wild West of Bisbee! $8
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Bisbee Pride Parade
10:30-11:30 a.m.— See Bisbee’s and greater Cochise County’s GLBTQ friends, family and allies as they march down Main Street.
Psychic Fair
11 a.m.-5 p.m. — Come to 55 Main Gallery for a peek into the infinite. Free Entry. Charge for readings.
Copper Queen Pool Party & BBQ
11 a.m.-3 p.m. $10 admission includes a BBQ pork lunch with all the fixin’s.
Knock Down Drag Out!
7 p.m.-Midnight — Don’t miss this headline event at Central School Project. $8 at door. Sherry Vine, singer/songwriters A.G. & Garrison Starr and Phoenix’s Pandora DeStrange & the Arizona Gender Outlaws perform, followed by DJ Michael Lopez.
Knock Down Drag Out After Party
Midnight-2 a.m. at St. Elmo’s Bar in Brewery Gulch. Put on your best Drag for a contest with cash prizes! No cover!
Beneath the Copper Queen Hotel Plaid shirt available at Buffalo Exchange. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 67
Sunday, June 16 Drag Queen Bingo
Noon-2 p.m. at the Bisbee Grand Saloon. Free Entry/Pay for Cards. Experience Pandora DeStrange at her best!
Splash at the Oasis
Noon – 4 p.m. at David’s Oasis - $10 admission. Pool party with burgers. BYOB.
Tea Dance
3–5 p.m. It all happens at Screaming Banshee - Free! Wind down with cocktail specials and delicious dining.
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TAKING BACK MONDAYS IBT’S
SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM | #IONARIZONA ON INSTAGRAM
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OPTI-CLUB
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Grab Our Wieners and Get POKED for FREE! Celebrate NATIONAL HIV TESTING DAY JUNE 27 from 4PM til 8PM ONE VOICE COMMUNITY CENTER 4442 N 7th Ave, Phoenix FREE HOT DOGS and HIV TESTING! Testing provided by Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS
swhiv.org/POKE SWCforHIVAIDS June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 81
“You don’t have to overindulge to have a fabulous night out.” -Kitty Victorian, Burlesque University
Learn more at: www.facebook.com/safeout www.twitter.com/lgbtqconsortium This program is funded through Magellan Health Services of Arizona. 82
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Vol. 7, Issue 5
June 2013
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
Killer Arias Says, “I’m Ready to OUTRAGEOUS! Love Again!” Phoenix—Meek, mild-mannered, paralegal, little Jodi Arias has so much to offer that certain special someone. All she needs is a little understanding. A little caring. And a lot of love. She’s the girl next door—with a gun and a butcher knife. There’s so much more to this mousey young woman with the frumpy bangs and outdated old lady eyeglasses.
Mr. Perfect is out there somewhere, she’s convinced. She also believes in gun control. “You need to use both hands,” Arias advises. “It’s a cutthroat world out there.”
“I’m a great girlfriend,” said Arias. “I’m not some lying, backstabbing bitch. If you stick your neck out for me, well ... you get the idea.” Arias promises to make a personalized vanity license plate for every guy ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL who asks her out. “I aim to please a man ... not to kill “I have so much to give him!” she explains. “How the right guy,” said ‘bout it? Do you feel Arias in an exclusive lucky?” Arias asks. interview. “I’m a good Mormon girl. I like to talk on the phone. I like to text. A lot! If “I’m like any other girl. I like dinner, a movie, I find the right guy I’ll _____ him, _______ and long walks to the electric chair.” him and I want him to __________ me and _________ me, too. And after that, I wanna Really, really long walks. ______ and then we’re gonna _______.”
OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
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OUTRAGEOUS! Bachmann to Retire, Promises to Keep Hating
WASHINGTON, D.C.— After four terms, the controversial rightright-right wing Minnesota State Representative to the United States Congress, Michelle Bachmann, announced she will not run for ANY RESEMBLANCE re-election in 2014. She will, however, expand her circle of hate.
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!
stirring the turd with her own unique kind of hate mongering.
“The wide range of hate I can encourage is bigger than the House of Representatives. It’s bigger TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL than the White House,” Bachmann purportedly said. “I want Bachmann’s people to popularity with the know that I conservative Tea don’t just hate Party movement Muslims, illegal propelled her as a immigrants, popular possible baby aborters, Presidential candidate for the 2012 election. Benghazi, the IRS and most of all my much hated Gays. I hate lots of other things. In the “We liked Michelle’s rabid, foaming-atI plan on extending my hate toward ANY RESEMBLANCE TOsaid THE TRUTH future IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE THE TRAGICALLY the-mouth kind of extremism,”TO one TRUTH my own family. I will hate ACCIDENTAL puppies, kittens, Washington insider. “She didn’t promise dessert, that girl in high school who was solutions. That’s an easy way out. She more popular than me, Taylor Swift and even promised more problems. That’s the kind of Martha Stewart’s ‘Good Things.’ Boy, do I conservatism we can all get behind.” hate ‘em all!”
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Bachmann’s own peculiar brand of political anti-progressive rhetoric may be missing from Capitol Hill, but she promises she’ll keep
Bachmann hopes to change the Minnesota state license plate slogan to “Land of 10,000 Hates” upon retirement.
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 85
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OUTRAGEOUS! Pentagon Policy Proposal: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tattle.” OUTRAGEOUS!
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Top brass in the U.S. Military are contending with the escalating reports of sexual assaults among the rank and file. More instances of fondling, groping and inappropriate touching ANY RESEMBLANCE are steadily being reported.
official. “Except in the Navy. They think, ‘No, no,’ means, ‘Yes, yes.’ You know those seamen.”
OUTRAGEOUS! TO THE TRUTH IS
To curb the issue, Pentagon officials are approaching President to instate a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tattle” policy, much like the ill-fated “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy instated during the Clinton Administration.
Since the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” andACCIDENTAL in the wake of TRAGICALLY recent sexual assaults, one openly Gay U.S. Marine filed a complaint to Pentagon officials recently claiming, “Oh no he didn’t! That bitch did not just try to finger bang me on the dance floor at a Tea Dance on Fire Island! I will (expletive deleted) up her (expletive deleted.)
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!
The White House has no comment at this ANY TOTO THE TRUTH IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANYRESEMBLANCE RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL “We think that a lot of “Don’ts” and “No’s” and “Stop Its” are usually very successful when it comes to creating policy in the military,” said one anonymous Armed Forces
time, but threatens to send the generals to their barracks without any supper if this monkey business keeps up, young mister.
WARNING: Reading Outrageous requires a sense of humor. If you do not posess one, you probably shouldn’t have read the last three pages. Reading Outrageous may cause serious stomach pain and uncontrollable laughter. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
OUTRAGEOUS!
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by Sean Kapera SeanKaperaPhotography.com
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by Addison DeWitt
Challenge at Karamba on the Cinco de Mayo which has nothing to do with Hitler’s invasion of Poland. Chloë V. Monroe (B), a good American, helped entertain.
T
here are things you do, and there are things you don’t do. There are lots of things I’ve done that I shouldn’t have. Sometimes I had to take penicillin for two weeks until the burning sensation stopped. But you know what? I learned from it. Some people never learn. It appears that even though RuPaul scoured the country for the crème de la crème of drag queens, she just might’ve made a “eine kleine Fehlentscheidung” (that means “eensy, weensy mistake) when she crowned Sharon Needles (A) as America’s Next Drag Superstar. ‘Cause Sharon sure ain’t Austria’s, honey.
A
B
C D
Darling Daniel Eckstrom (who is from Tucson and half-Hispanic, although his last name is suspiciously Germanic, is not a Nazi because he’s married to Englishman Nick Ray. He’s definitely not a Nazi.) teamed up with Miss Gay Arizona USofA Diva (not a Nazi, either) (C) and whipped up a duet of all-American—er, Mexican, that is—salsas. Nazi’s don’t make salsa. After eating about a gallon of gourmet salsas I had a little “Blitzkrieg” of my own, fired from my Fokker bomber. I said, “Fokker.” Let’s just say what the German’s missed ... I hit. I am not a Nazi, either.
Seems that after a drunken transatlantic flight to perform at the prestigious Life Ball in Vienna last month, Needles staggered on to the tarmac and announced that she was happy to be in Vienna—the birthplace of Adolf Hitler. Oopsies! She goosestepped back onto a plane the next day and was sent home. No doubt she has this unique tea kettle that looks suspiciously like der Führer from JC Penney.
I’ll eat salsa in a club, but I won’t eat somebody’s toes. Not in public, anyway. Can you imagine my horror when I waltzed into one of the best watering holes in town and I saw a man feverishly gnawing and licking on his boyfriend’s toes like they were a plate of peel ‘n’ eat shrimp at Red Lobster during a Shrimp Lovers’ Feast? (D) If he likes Shrimp Cocktail he’s missing out on all three of the best parts of that recipe, if you catch my drift. Maybe they were Nazis.
So, girls, if you win a crown, watch what you say. Channel your energies into something good. Like making salsa. Barbra Seville—who hates Hitler—sponsored her 2nd Annual Salsa
Although I may not be able to afford box seats at the Arizona Opera, I was treated to a little night music when the fab coloratura soprano Anna Vivette trilled a Mozart aria during the Night for Life Gala. And not just on stage. Oh no. This was an impromptu June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 93
Hot ’n horny hookups.
LAPTOP OR MOBILE
WE’RE VERSATILE
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by Addison DeWitt
recital in the acoustically perfect Salle de Bain pour Gentilhommes. That’s French for “Men’s Room.” The French hate the Nazis. Here’s lovely Anna with anti-Nazis Frank Rawls and Darren Deering. (E)
E
I was delighted to see everybody’s favorite Stacy Louis celebrating the opening of his new club named—guess what?—Stacy’s on Melrose. Here’s Stacy with handsome gents Anthony Mirabel and R.J. Merrill (F), who was recently inducted into the Victorian Society in America—no Nazis allowed in that Society. Only Victorians. How did Hitler tie his shoelaces? Into little “knotsies!” Get it?
F
Hashtag your most scandalous pictures to me at #IONAZgossip and surprise me!
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P
“ ride” is the name of the game. Nationally, in Bisbee, Flagstaff and inside of you. The “Supermoon” on the 23rd is the biggest of the year and glories all effulgent only 221,824 miles away. The Summer Solstice on the 21st affects your perspective, so take pride in what you do.
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
You’ll accomplish something you’ve worked hard on. It might be a book, a recipe, or something kinky in the bedroom you didn’t think you could ever do—or would do. Your “personal best” is something to brag about.
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
Recent rough waters lead to smooth sailing. You may not be able to tie a halyard, halfhitch, or a double-sheel bend knot, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a little bit “naughty” during Jupiter’s conjunction on the 19th. You rascal!
Gemini May 21 - June 21
The ten day three-way with Mercury, Venus and Jupiter that began at the end of May continues on. This means you’re “gettin’ some!” Is it your birthday? You’ll note an abundance of everything this year. Some things are worth keeping. Not everything.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
News of your birthday spreads like—well— cancer. Spring is ending but Summer marks the advent of something big. Celebrate your birthday—take your show on the road to the streets of Bisbee or the forests of Flagstaff.
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
Decisions, decisions. You can’t make up your mind. Blue shirt? Or the plaid blouse? Shorts? Blue jeans? Bisbee Pride? Flagstaff Pride? The stars are confusing you. Answer: Go to Bisbee. Or maybe Flagstaff ... Here we go again.
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
The Moon is at its furthest from the earth on the 9th. 252,579 miles away, to be specific. You may feel an emotional or physical distance from someone, too. Go to Bisbee and recharge your batteries at Pride.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
You don’t mean to brag ... but you do. So show off! Flip a coin. Flagstaff or Bisbee. Show a lumberjack or a miner that “special something” you can do. Then you can brag even more.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
You have many talents which you can be proud of. Someone admires you. Besides your mother, that is. The open road calls. The I-17 North leads to Flagstaff. The I-10 East goes to Bisbee. Decide.
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
You’ll find a mystery awaiting you. You’ll discover clues that will solve a puzzle involving family, friends or neighbor. Did the butler do it in Flagstaff? Or did the maid do it in Bisbee? Where do you want to do it?
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
The clear, crisp mountain air of Flagstaff makes your little hooves want to dance at Flagstaff Pride. A special billy goat or nanny goat awaits you. Do not stray! Be part of the herd. Run, little goat! Run!
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
The New Moon on the 8th gets between the Earth and the Sun and can’t be seen. Someone or something gets between you and someone. The path is clear when you broaden your horizons.
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Mars is a morning object in the east. You are not a morning person. You and the angry red planet don’t get along. Who cares? You’ll be hither and yon, to and fro, back and forth. Avoid starting a war. The whole Mars thing, you know. June 2013 www.IONAZ.com 97
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