J.N. Burnett's Literary Magazine Club // Volume 4, issue 2: AWAKE

ft. works from the jn burnett student body

jn burnett's literary magazine club

awake. february 2020

4-2

e editor's note

editor's note note editor's

editor's note editor's note editor's note editor's note e

every morning, whilst in different places and at different times, we all wake eventually, lightly drawn from the remnants of once vivid dreams as our day begins. we wake slowly and all at once. to be awake is to be in touch with the brilliant world around us, to experience our walk through life with family and friends, and to continually learn and grow. in the midst of the busy whirlwind of beginning second semester and pursuing personal resolutions that comes with ringing in the new year, we hope that you’ll be able to discover a breath of fresh air in JNB Lit’s first issue of 2020. as our student body strives to awaken their creativity in this new beginning, we encourage that you also find your muse, follow the day, and reach for the sun. flip the page to join us as we explore the most delicate intricacies to the brightest, all-embracing hues of what being awake means to us.

louise cham and maya uyeno jnb lit magazine’s co-editors-in-chief 00:00:00 02/07/2020

f contents ta

table table of of contents contents on the cover 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 26 28 30 31 32 34 35 36 37 38 40 41 42 43 45

seven o'clock // luca morris editor's note contents the team jam packed light or night? // alyssa wong sleepyhead // devyn gear insomnia // denenae tingala cognizant // isabel yi lofi hiphop // samantha yeung but you wake up they won’t call you back // eliana barbosa promise me you’ll stay // destiny lang coffee break // anika ng i’m wide awake // adrianne namuco lucid dreaming // caroline zhang untitled dreaming with your eyes open // yuyu liu morning // luca morris just not sleeping // brianna hernandez bevan awake // isabel yi moonlight masquerade // destiny lang photo collection // casey grafe state of mind // isable yi insomnia // cadence leung winter // mercedes salvador test no. 27 // michelle lo breathe // sarah ong seven o'clock // luca morris take the leap // louise cham your founded sunshine // tayla barbosa awake in the sleep // emma yang jitterbug! // destiny lang are you awake or just breathing? // mary ortega one more // luca morris wanderer, somnambulist // pierce sinclair darling, feel the morning glow // shana ahemode thank you

table of contents table o

m the team

the the team team

the team the team the team the team the team the team the team the tea

executives executives louise cham maya uyeno samantha yeung nikka adrias

editor-in-chief editor-in-chief creative + visual director treasurer + social media manager secretary + social media manager general executive graphic designer graphic designer graphic designer

maeg lorey adam title gabby yan mary ortega eliana barbosa

contributors contributors writers:

destiny lang, luca morris, brianna hernandez bevan, mercedes salvador, tayla barbosa

artists:

alyssa wong, brianna hernandez bevan, caroline zhang, emma yang, michelle lo, shana ahemode, yuyu liu

photographers:

adrianne namuco, anika ng, cadence lung, casey grafe, denenae tingala, devyn gear, isabel yi, luca morris, mercedes salvador, pierce sinclair, sarah ong

m packed

jam packed

jam packed jam packed jam packed jam packed jam packed ja

a playlist

- wake up tunes dreams she likes spring, i prefer winter lights up san marcos moonlight everything i wanted can i call you tonight? find someone like you

want to listen to all our issue playlists? find us on spotify!

@jnblitmagazine @jnblitmagazine

the cranberries slchld harry styles brockhampton 92914 billie eilish dayglow snoh aalegra

LIGHT OR NIGHT?

alyssa wong

ZZ

ZZ

Z Z

ZZ sleepyhead devyn gear

ZZ

Z Z

insomnia denenae tingala

cognizant isabel yi

lofi hiphop samantha yeung

but you. anonymous

this is a letter for someone who will never know it's about them. i don't normally write things like these because one, i suck at writing words down properly and two, i'd rather march right up to you and tell you all this to your face. though i can't. dear you. there are so many words i could use to describe you and the ways you make me feel. incredible, fascinating, but my favourite is extraordinary. you're just so unique in every way possible. all the ways that i like. for me, one of the best feelings in the world is when people open up to me because they're comfortable enough to. i feel so lucky and blessed that i'm someone you're able to talk to at the end of the day. i've never been so badly in love with someone and the connection we share. you've told me things nobody has ever told me before. you find ways to turn my insecurities into positive things about myself and you teach me to take pride in all my flaws. you travel deep into my heart to awaken the love for myself. you remember even the tiniest things about me and you never hesitate to make sure i'm okay. you reward me, even if i feel like i don't deserve it.

i seriously like myself better when i'm with you. you know, like that song by lauv. i cherish the quietest moments with you, just like how i appreciate the small things in life. your company makes the greatest impact, always leaving me wanting more. we respect each other and all the differences we have. your words and opinions are something i value so much and could never even think about taking for granted. you only ever use your speech for good and you're never afraid to let yourself be heard. all this leads me to be constantly thinking about you. you're the thought that keeps me awake at night. i lie in bed dreaming about the next time we'll meet again. my heart races just thinking about how much i feel we have together. i'm not sure if you've begun to notice that i've been scheduling a lot of hangouts with you recently. i guess you could call me a bit clingy, but i promise it's for the best reasons for the both of us, and not just myself. your happiness matters so much to me and i wish to be doing more for you. i met you at another low point in my life. immediately, all you did was encourage me and give me the support i needed. and you still do. i’ve gained a lot of independence within the last year, but there will always still be times when i need someone to rely

on. and you're always there when i need you more than ever. what i adore the most is that you have the choice to turn me away, the choice to not help me... but you still do. even when you don't have the words to say, i know you're always listening because you grab my hands and look me right in the eyes. i can't stare at you without smiling until my cheeks are sore and throbbing. i'm always reminded that everything's going to be okay when you hold me tight. so safe and secure in your arms. they act as barriers protecting me from and carrying me through all the obstacles that show up in my way.

had reached the peak of bliss. but you are constantly coming in making me feel new ways each time i see you. i was always constantly worrying about the other person and how they think and feel. but you. you're not afraid to speak your mind and let me know these things. it's so easy for me to trust others, but i feel so at ease with you. you assure me that you won't let me down and that i won't be disappointed in putting my trust in you.

i realize i'm very quick to act out on my emotions. i'm impulsive with almost every decision i make and pretty much everything i do... my motto is literally "now or never." i'm known to be a very generous person and am the type to care for anyone and everyone. i'm able to sacrifice myself for those who are worthy to me. but i've never wanted to love and spend all my time and energy on an individual so badly. you know how passionate i am about things i enjoy and how invested i am able to become. i want to be so passionate about you.

i cannot stress enough how special you make me feel. how much you make me feel like royalty. how much the thought of you makes me want to dance the night away. but i know i'm not the only one. your life doesn't and should never have to revolve only around me. i'm not asking to be your first priority and you don't owe me a thing. i'm not desperately depending on you to keep me happy forever. though that would be nice. i just feel like we benefit a lot from one another and can help each other out as life goes on. i don't want you to ever stop coming to me. i want my shoulder to always be an option for you to cry on.

i've been in relationships in the past where i thought everything was perfect and that i

now, you're probably going crazy and thinking "well what do you want me to do now?"

i'm asking that we remain great friends. asking we keep each other around. that we hold on tightly to what we've built together. that we continue to grow through the ups and downs side by side. to stay, to never lose touch, and to love each other conditionally. so, thank you for being you and coming into my life. and to whoever is reading this right now. this could be about you. yeah, you. and with that possibility, please take care of your loved ones. look around and pay attention to the people who are by your side. those who are by your side even during your darkest times. and go thank them. and to everyone else. life is short. go tell that person you like them. go take your friends out. go do the things that make you happy. live to love.

live liveto tolove. love.

wake up they won't call u back eliana barbosa

promise me you'll stay destiny lang *to the tune of Cossack Lullaby* Dear, I’m frightened I can’t slumber Promise me you’ll stay Let me listen to your heartbeat ‘Til the light of day We will spend our days together Growing old and grey Let me feel the warmth of your hands Promise me you’ll stay The core of our sun will collapse In five billion years Gone will be the traces of us Greatest of my fears Lost will be our books and music Folktales of the fae Proof of our brief existence Promise me you’ll stay Flames that lick upon our seared heels Stripped us of our home Skies were tainted with rust from blood Hopelessly we roam Plastic islands, spills of oil With our lives we pay Flora fauna wilt and crumble Promise me you’ll stay

Tension among the world’s leaders Will evolve into Monsters craving war and bloodlust Tear the world in two Revolution of our times Must it be this way?

Countless martyrs die in battle Promise me you’ll stay After the day I pass away I will be left behind Memories of me will perish Buried from the mind Now we lay here our hearts entwined Under the duvet Let me kiss your soft cheek gently Promise me you’ll stay

coffee break

anika ng

i'm wide awake

adrianne namuco

lucid dreaming caroline zhang

untitled anonymous

I lie asleep soundly, relieved that the walls have not collapsed in on me.

I feel it taking over my broken body and mind, tearing it apart searching for new ways to crush me and feed on it.

I had forgotten the feeling of the monsters coming back, but once again, it was back stronger sitting on my chest just waiting for me to cave and let it in.

I'm always stuck with an unsteady heart pacing, shorter breaths, and silencing irrational thoughts.

When will it all be over?

It’s feeling everything and nothing at once stuck in my own world.

It’s fearing failure but having no self motivation.

I lie awake, with uneasiness knowing it won't ever go away.

dreaming with your eyes open yuyu liu

morning luca morris it’s been a long time coming. i’ve only been sleeping. probably years, now that i think about it. yeah. years. that’s how long i’ve been ignoring that gnawing nuisance, the unthinkably unreasonable underlying possibility that didn’t have to be possible if i didn’t believe it. that’s how i lived for a long while, eyes closed and dreaming that i was in control. hiding from what i thought was a monster under my bed. i woke up recently, and i finally found that i could stand my ground. i could look the demon in the face and say the words i had been so worriedly wandering ‘way from, “i don’t know”. i don’t know: who i am who others are if they know me if i know them what i am doing here what my true purpose is what i actually feel (probably most of the time) and the realization oddest of this odyssey of open-minded and honest thought: it’s gonna be alright.

just not sleeping art and poem by brianna bevan

We might not all be sleeping, maybe we are dreaming, maybe we are having a nightmare.

But not sleeping, not fully Not fully consumed by the wonder and awe, not taken by our subconscious. not fully here, not fully there, an unknown in between.

Maybe we are lost, losing, lonely, not founded, not winning, not loved.

We are not sleeping, but are we awake?

Are we really getting up at the sound of our alarms? Really?

Is something really clicking in our brains that’s saying to start the day? Really?

Or are we all just not sleeping?

We wake up physically everyday.

When will we wake up to reality We are making for ourselves?

It’s about time we awake.

AW WA AK KE A isabel yi

moonlight masquerade

I unbraided my raven hair Ebony waves cascading down Careful not to tangle the ribbons I slipped into my rose gown My ruby slippers shimmered Underneath the starlight As I stood up in my heels I began to take flight Houses and trees shrunk quickly in size I flew higher than the prettiest kite My fingertips almost grazed the moon A gigantic pearl in the night Binary stars waltzed in the sky The Moonlight Masquerade had begun Sipping sweet ambrosia from the Goddess’ cup The taste of moonshine from heaven

Across the horizon our eyes meet Her onyx mask veiling her rosy cheeks Extending her gloved hand Her blush intensified “Shall we dance?�

I accepted her invitation Entwining fingers We waltzed with the stars Her lace dress tingled my skin Rising and falling to the harmony of violins Played by a cluster of charming fae The sweet-toned harp sang of yearning I gifted sweet Sappho violets She tucked my hair behind my ear When the sun rose as I journeyed home Her scarlet lipstick melted on my cheeks We exchanged poetry by day Reading her stanzas by night Under the candlelight I fantasize of her again Dear Aphrodite disrupted My peaceful slumber By overcoming me With longing for her

snow day

casey gra brr

y afe smile

intrĂŠpide

state of mind isabel yi

insomnia cadence leung

winter mercedes salvador

Winter, It forces you to acknowledge its existence.

Everywhere you look it’s there.

The beauty isn’t in the big blanket of white leaves overnight But in the effort it puts in ensuring you feel it Through the numbness it leaves within you; You are subject to appreciate its work.

With frozen limbs and a tired mind, I stand, Awake, with my eyes wide open, fully aware of the world around me.

test no.27 michello lo

breathe

seven o'clock

sarah ong

take the leap louise cham

luca morris

Burning feet on black ice, body twisted atop a cracked foundation No air, no air.

Shift cramped fingers to uncover a treacherous truth, warped dignity intact.

Focus— they said to bury the weapon, swallow the fear This cage reeks of salt and panic.

But a stiff heart—tap, tap, tapping—on crumbling porcelain whispers of the conscious hour, You take the leap.

Swimming twilight trickles in your vein; I only see Flecks of gold where struggle was red-rimmed.

Tell me, which wretched power had bound you to your form?

When the sea sweeps the shore once more in kisses, imagine the swan song of a thousand splintering swords.

And now, beyond the glow of dawn.

Hold fast to the cold iron resentment, prison bars; do they turn to dust?

your founded sunshine tayla barbosa

my love what is harming you today? as the tears from your blanket drip away into nothingness my love how is it so that the world has shut you away once again? my love no matter what society’s true colors show you the individual human that you were created to be is what enlightens the earth with the artistry of your personality my love let me teach you how the internal spirits build off such character and huge moralities to life

my love awaken your spirit and shine upon those who destruct you into darkness because with my light it teaches you the true morals of internal euphoria my love from what I have taught you today I ask of you to learn to enlighten your spirit in the most genuine matter you can possibly attempt and empower your mindset which is what I like to call your founded sunshine.

awake in the sleep emma yang

FEBRUARY 14

JITTERBUG! destiny lang

Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.

Watch that mighty big band play Underneath the bright spotlight Jitterbug! We’ll dance all day Prancing through the lovely night Hear that jazzy trombone swing Solamente una vez C’mon, we can sing, sing, sing Sailor sweetheart, you’re the best Boats glimmer on Moon River Emerald and ruby glow Gently swaying in the breeze Whispering secrets no one knows Tip your sombrero to me Sunny, donned by most scarecrows I’ll bow with my widebrimmed hat The blush of a wild rose

FEBRUARY 14

Dear, you belong to my heart Sweeter than all lollipops Rest my head on your shoulder Stargaze beyond the treetops Make our way through Wallace Street Pink blossoms sweeten the air Strolling downtown side-by-side Parting with you I can’t bear Four units, three elements Two bands in one family Photographs and memories Fill my heart with endless glee Capture laughter in snapshots Revisit the good ol’ days Gather round and strike a pose I’ll remember you, always Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.

are you awake or just breathing? mary ortega

one more luca morris

it’s dark. but it’s warm. happy is the one who resides within this place. a perfect environment for this little life. but the life is not in a case of arrested development. thusly, they must leave. “all things must pass." great pain and suffering are gruelling tasks to undergo a moving of house. screaming. shouting. sweating. crying. swearing. panic arises in the eyes of two souls intertwined, they are in pain together, as one, for better, and for worse. things seem like they couldn’t get any more of the latter. but then, suddenly, by some miracle, a deliverance of sunshine is executed. some act of god is channeled through the binary code of the universe (or vice versa) to mould this.

she’s born.

wanderer, somnambulist pierce sinclair

darling, feel the morning glow

shane ahemode

"awakening awakening is not changing who you are, but discarding who you are not" -deepak -deepak chopra chopra stay updated: @jnblitmagazine issuu.com/jnblit www.jnblitmagazine.wixsite.com/website

thanks for reading!

catch you in our next issue!

with love,

JN BURNETT'S LITERARY MAGAZINE CLUB