Too Much by janel martinez
if it is on purpose, it is easy
no one eats spinach on accident someone pushed me i got up because i fell down not because they pushed me we seem motionless a vast colorless fire that leads up the cold of every corner that is not your corner
the burst of new green love is hotter than summer my favorite feeling of you is new
and it is new that brought the old down dead
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if another person speaks to me indifferently i will turn into salt do not show me your plagiarized emotions if you handed me the words, “i love you” i would drop them and step away
dear ella, it is okay that we don’t talk someone poured gravel all over the pavement of my heart now that you know i am cleaning it up as fast as i can
i have too much love and vomit which are essentially the same
i am a boy who abandoned everything to read some books. i will talk but if you try to talk with me i turn into an anatomical drawing of the human heart. i have a caveman father with whom i participate in prehistoric fights. i love everything that is sad and has any texture at all. i carve my walls. this is my ballgame, i call the shots, they are red and served in cinnamon glasses.
she did singing exercises that included using someone else’s hand to pull all the cotton out of her throat
every day she would stand exceptionally still on an undersized stool
because the man helping had very time-consuming arms and was soaring. he bought her sets of lingerie that cost over three hundred dollars, once a week or more, and then proposed to her at disney land. she said yes because she looked so fine in the lingerie and she really sang better without all the cotton in her throat.
everyone is arrogant in their isolation every man is an island i learned to flee after sinking into promises and cut phone lines every man for me has been the same island with a different name what a privilege to be alone and like it
intimacy issues: i am a concrete ball rolling down a sidewalk you are gravity i can’t stop you can’t control it the ground leaves i leave dust on your hands don’t start me rolling i am too heavy to catch
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