Chicken Outfit Script 01

CHICKEN OUTFIT Book One

Written by Joe Deagnon and Kirby Stasyna

Final Draft

SCENE 1 Open with a quote: “The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents… someday the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age.” - H.P. Lovecraft We open on a massive, foreboding building at dusk. It's the Xber Xaber offices. It's covered in foliage and ivy, we see there is only one light on in the basement.

Move to a basement computer lab hallway. We move down the darkened hallway to the computer lab. Wires are everywhere, monitors on every surface. Computers are taken apart and bits and pieces are all over. It resembles a mad scientists' lab.

We open on STAN MUNSON. He looks haggard. He's staring into space.

At the center of the room is what STAN refers to as a HOOKERBOT, a naked female companion with black tape over her nipples.

It has a hand written sign around its' neck with "HOOKER-BOT” scrawled on the rough cardboard. Its' head is bald and a part of its' skull exposed - where STAN is currently working on the brain.

The "companion" has been modified and hooked up to a computer system close by. It's in the sitting position on a roughshod cot covered by a horse blanket and one pillow. It’s the typical porn visage; blonde, huge tits and wearing nothing but the tape, a thong, stockings and a pair of black pumps.

Small cameras are mounted on the walls, at one time this part of the room was used for an online strip show. Camera equipment is visible and covered by a half sheet that was once on the bed.

Move in on a small figure at the alpha control centre in the lab. He is Stan; “programmer extraordinaire”. He is staring at the main monitor intently. He is sweating and concentrating all his focus on a problem he's dealing with in the code. His life resides in the ones and zeros he deals with daily.

The project is to bring interactivity to the HOOKER-BOT, so it can speak and react. A rough speaker system has been set up to monitor the sound.

Stan types a few more things into the computer and sits back pensive.

STAN Well, that ought to do it... Let's give her a trial run.

Stan gets up and walks over to the HOOKER-BOT. He picks up a makeshift remote that's jerry-rigged to the doll and clicks a few “commands” into it. The eyes on the doll snap open.

STAN Awake.

HOOKER-BOT Hello world.

STAN (to himself) Voice activation, check.

STAN Online response module… Activate.

HOOKER-BOT (overly zealous, lips moving, speaker crackles) I’ll suck your cock all night long! But first, get rock-hard by checking out www.bigfattitslittleweeasses.com and our extensive library of 100,000 hot pics and over 300,000 sexy videos!

Don't forget your credit card! It's only $2.95 for the first week-trial membership! (whispers) After the first month, it’s only $49.95... your credit card will be rebilled for your convenience.

STAN (satisfied; to himself) Hmm, gotta lower the volume on that last part. Way too loud. Otherwise, perfect.

STAN Let’s test the interactive submissive response…

Stan walks to the door of the lab and sticks his head into the hallway. He looks right, sees no one then looks left. Same empty hallway. He walks back in to the doll and pauses for a minute.

He taps enter and moves across the room to the HOOKER-BOT. Nothing for a while.

STAN Activate "Blowjob Routine".

HOOKER-BOT attempts to move. It starts shaking, the eyes in its' head bulging with some kind of sentient knowledge. Then, a small curl of smoke rises from the top of the bots’ head. A terror starts to spread over its' face.

STAN (annoyed at first) Ah shit, what’s going on?

Suddenly, violent shaking takes the place of a start up. The doll falls to it's knees. Out of it's sides, crustacean legs burst out, tentacles come out of it's orifices, spiralling around the room. Stan is stunned. The doll gets back up and the face has changed into a boil covered, white-eyed mess, the tongue lolls out of its' face.

HOOKER-BOT (In a guttural wet voice, drool spilling to the floor) Who are you? Why have you brought me here?

STAN (shocked) What the fuck?!

HOOKER-BOT

What is this place?

(Acting like Fred/Illiria from Angel) He flies toward the main computer and starts tapping away on keys while the creature moves toward him bellowing and making guttural noises.

STAN The remote! Where's the fucking remote?

HOOKER-BOT (thoughtful; devilish grin) Hmm...mmm...what if I tore your face off and ate it?

The doll reaches STAN and sinks a gnarled claw into his shoulder with a screech as it continues to transmorgrify.

HOOKER-BOT You want me to blow you, hmm? I’ll bite that little worm out of its' socket!!

We see a shot of a screwdriver in some tools by the server. Stan lunges for it just as the doll opens its' mouth, claw still in his backside. Three rows of jagged shark-like teeth come piercing through its' rubber skin. Eventually her outer skin explodes with the skull poking though.

STAN grabs the screwdriver and jams it full-force into the side of the creatures' head. It pops one eye out as gore flies from it. He starts swinging madly, fluid and bits of the doll spraying the walls. The robot-creature flails and spews.

The doll-thing then deflates. It crumples and somewhat reverts back to its' original form, the "being" that inhabited it leaving in a white heat, the face half drooping like a mockery of a mask. It's full of holes and tears made by whatever burst from it, as well as the "wounds" that Stan has perforated it with. Its' skin droops and melts from it. It falls to the ground in a steaming mess of wires, skeletal structure and melted latex.

Stan slumps in his office chair. He stares dumbly at the heap of doll parts.

We see an overhead view of the disaster. Stan sits in shock.

STAN Worst blowjob ever.

SCENE 2 Rusty is sitting on his front stoop smoking a cigarette and watching the street. It's a cement stoop in the heart of the bustle of a downtown metropolis. Rusty looks out over the city street, observing his surroundings. He is dressed in a chickensuit. We show a montage, while he ruminates.

The city streets are alive with people; crowded, noisy, the smells acrid and powerful. It's summer and the garbage is starting to rot, a dog owner looks furtively around before moving quickly away from his pet's excrement - someone on the other side of the street stepping in another dog's shit. Rusty is pensive and somewhat depressed. He stares down the city's denizens and judges certain individuals, feeling alternately angry and saddened by their mundane lives. Across the street a man is yelling at a parking cop, who is writing him up.

MAN Makes you feel big huh?! Get a real job, asshole!

Across the way, some punk moves toward an Easter "mall bunny".

MAN #2 What the the christ do you think you're doing bunny head?!

Rusty turns his head just to see the man kick the bunny's fake head off.

RUSTY (to himself) Jesus! Is this city getting worse or am I getting old?

A mother and son walk past Rusty, the boy's attention on Rusty, while Rusty sees a sci-fi couple walk past. The boy stares at Rusty, while he lights up another cigarette. The boy cannot be more than 6 and carries a McDonalds’ Happy Meal.

BOY Mommy, look! That man is going to die of cancer!

MOTHER (Pulling boy away)

Mmm...That's right...don't you ever pick up that filthy habit...

Rusty sarcastically blows smoke in their general direction and rests his head upon his hand. Car exhaust belches over the mother and son as they scurry away.

RUSTY (eyes like slits, gritting teeth) That's right kid, keep movin'...

His gaze turns to the sci-fi couple as they stand at a bus stop; somewhat overweight, plain, nothing special. They hold hands and radiate closeness; the girlfriend talking animatedly to her man, his rapt attention apparent. Rusty fixes on them, a disgust in his heart. There is something oddly sweet about this rotund pair. Rusty softens momentarily, thinking of the simple purity between the two misfits. Two souls meant for one another. They have matching Star Wars tattoos from the Rebel Alliance. One is wearing a leather cap. Then Rusty's mind turns sour, once again.

He is sweating and panicking as these events occur.

RUSTY (to himself) I guess there's someone for everyone...except me. Jesus, I miss her.

We show a succession of street people: a fat woman eating a chocolate bar.

RUSTY Look at her, just walking down the street cramming food in her mouth. Why does that make me feel so sad?

The bum from earlier with vomit on him stumbling along.

BUM You fucking bitch! I'll kill you you fucking bitch! I'm so goddamn hungry!

RUSTY How does someone get to that place? If I can't make my rent, I could be him...

Finally, RUSTY has had enough.

RUSTY Christ, I have to get off this fucking street.

Rusty is now at the computer, the blue glow a halo around his workspace. He starts surfing and tries to get excited by an adult video he watches.

RUSTY So bored...Gotta shake this stress.

As he surfs through the site, he gets increasingly annoyed by the myriad of pop-up ads that block his every move. Boxes that shout "BUY"! Perhaps a geo-targetted window that won't allow him access.

RUSTY What the hell! UGH! Flashes of his ex-girlfriend keep popping into his head, the love they once shared adding to the “religious” guilt he seems to be experiencing.

RUSTY Moaaan! This is ridiculous.

As he’s surfing porn and something keeps popping up and drives him mad - it leads to a blue screen of death. (The panel is flooded with blue). The computer crashes completely. He finally gives up, frustrated and goes to have the shower. A little puff of smoke comes out of the CPU. RUSTY sighs.

He becomes frustrated and sits, limp, as visions of his exgirlfriend take over, her phantom face materializing from the darkness circling his head in the dark. He gets up and goes to the washroom, his past deep relationship haunting him. He is clearly depressed.

RUSTY Maybe a bath to clear my head...

Once in the tub, Rusty thinks about his life, a cloth over his eyes. He sighs. We move out to see that he has a toaster with him near the tub. It's clear what he's about to do. He holds the toaster above him, cord in wall. Just at his weakest, the phone rings. He fumbles / juggles with the toaster - not really

wanting to drop it.

Stabilizing the toaster, he wrestles with the idea of answering it, various images going through his head; his mother reminding him to see the dentist, bill collectors, telemarketers. He finally succumbs and picks the receiver up. It’s STAN, his best friend.

Stan tells Rusty he just got off work. He's excitable. He wants Rusty to come for a drink to discuss this new development.

STAN Beers? I need to see you.

RUSTY I'm kind of busy...

STAN (somewhat agitated) I haven't seen you in a week, you're turning into a hermit!

RUSTY I’m not really into it tonight.

STAN Come on! It’s ON ME...I really need to talk to you about something.

RUSTY On you, huh? That's new. Okay, just one.

STAN Good. I've just got a few things to clean up around here and I'll see you there.

SCENE 3 It's eleven (11:11?) at The Psychic Cavern. In addition to the main signage in the window that says, “Six Worms and Some Bad News”, there are others pasted all over the building such as, “Cameras”, “TV Repair”, “Faxes”, “Photo Copies”, “Phone Cards”, “Passports” etc... it's a rather smallish place on first glance, but one notices a lot of real estate surrounding it. The bottom half is a store and above it the offices for the business. It's surrounded with trees on an odd little patch of preserved land, then by city buildings beyond that.

Inside, HEADCAST and BILLY prepare for a fishing trip the following day. HEADCAST is nearing middle age, but you wouldn’t be able to tell because his entire head is wrapped in bandages from some horrifying, unspecified accident. BILLY is a regular schmoe, a middle-aged, bearded fisherman, who is always seen in a pair of hip-waders and a baseball cap covered in hooked lures.

HEADCAST is sitting in a large metal tub, full of water, naked, except for the bandages that cover his head. Beside the tub is a small table, upon which a huge spell-book is placed in front of him. He is rubbing a dead fish all over his body, pausing only to consult his books, propped up by an old music stand over the tub. On the table nearby, a crystal ball sits, with various other books and trinkets. A mysterious woman, MARY, is at the table with the crystal ball. She is pregnant and muttering incantations over a pile of lures and other sporting equipment.

Various occult items are strewn about as well as signs and bizarre woodcarvings on the wall.

BILLY is in the corner, passed-out drunk with an alarm clock on his belly and Cheap American Beer cans littered around his rubber boots. The clock near his head is in the shape of a fish.

HEADCAST is muttering ingredients from the spell book while he rubs the fish over his body. He's wearing bifocals perched upon his nose, occasionally running his finger down the pages as he looks for a certain spell.

The calendar on the wall says April 1.

HEADCAST Where am I going to find a dried bat at this hour?

MARY You should try your basement.

Billy snores in the background. Drool hangs from his mouth. The pregnant MARY continues her tirade.

HEADCAST (he finds the spell he has been looking for…)

Ah, here we are...fish casting spell.

Oh wait, this is a fertility spell.

MARY I cast that once. Couldn’t get rid of the smell from between my legs for days.

HEADCAST Did it work?

MARY gives HEADCAST a sarcastic look, her hand on her belly.

HEADCAST Of course…

She returns to her tongues, waving her hands over the pile of fishing equipment. HEADCAST finally comes across the spell he’s been looking for.

HEADCAST EUREKA! (This awakes BILLY, startled and thrashing around in his pile of beer cans.)

BILLY What the! Who the! Achghhh…

HEADCAST Apologies, William. I’m working on a spell that will grant us a fair catch on tomorrow’s expedition.

BILLY (Calming down) Good. Are we set?

HEADCAST

Almost. I think I've found the optimum incantation.

BILLY A spot of wine to celebrate?

HEADCAST Why yes, a grand idea. I’ll go get us a nice "Chateau Grotto".

HEADCAST heads down into the basement of the Psychic Cavern. The stairs open up into long hallway made of stone and concrete.

HEADCAST continues to walk down what is an underground set of catacombs. There are torches and cobwebs on the walls. He reaches a room where there is a rather impressive wine cellar.

He grabs a torch from the wall and searches the bottles for the one BILLY has requested. He finds it all on it’s own. As he reaches for it ---Blinding white light... A cacophony of noise and visuals.

HEADCAST slams his hand against the wine-rack as some bottles smash to the ground. Images carry him away, he is frozen to the spot trying to make sense of them. A dark void with bubbles of energy filling it. Little maggot-sized creatures in the bubbles… naked female goblins and creatures, chickens. It’s all a blur.

He regains consciousness and stumbles back up stairs after a book.

BILLY Where the hell is he?

HEADCAST bursts into the room frantic.

BILLY What took you---HEADCAST (ignoring BILLY) Where is that copy of "Gardiner's Dream Divination"?! Wait...that’s not right..."Bullock's Encyclopedia of Premonition Interpretation"...

BILLY Oh no... You’d better cut this shit out. Last time you had a conniption

like this, it was an all-nighter.

HEADCAST I don't think it's a good idea that we go fishing in light of this new development.

MARY (getting up) I’ll put the kettle on.

BILLY What? No! You’re kidding! What development? It’s near the end of the season!

HEADCAST (now seated and flipping furiously through a huge tome mumbling) A premonition; a pitch black omen of things to come. I must figure out what it means for us.

BILLY Look! Do what you have to do - bring your mojo bag, cast some spells, some fucking thing, but we're going! I've been waiting all month for this! The truck is packed!

HEADCAST (exhausted) Let me be for this evening, William. I must consult my books.

BILLY All right, I'm going to lie down again but I want this solved before we go.

I’m setting the alarm for 4AM. We end on the BOOK - imagery from HEADCAST'S vision.

HEADCAST This can't be good.

SCENE 4 Rusty and Stan meet at a restaurant near Stan’s workplace My Three Beers, near STAN’s work. It’s a run down, large dingy Slavic-run cafeteria style hole with comfort food and a disgusting washroom. There are all manner of drunken weirdos and old veterans in the bar. It's quite large with many dark corners for one to hide in. Candles on the tables. Duct tape on the seats. The drinks are cheap. They sit by the window and watch people while they discuss Rusty’s fate. “Loki”, a statue of a bear with a beer stein looks on from the wall. A soused local stands in front of Stan and Rusty.

LOCAL That is LOKI... “The Trickster”.

STAN What? That bear up there?

LOCAL No! Is Trickster!

RUSTY Loki is a Norse god. That is a bear with a pint in his hand.

STAN Paw… RUSTY Listen, guy. This a private conversation.

STAN Don’t get him angry. I heard some lunatic came through here swinging a machete the other day.

The LOCAL stumbles away in a haze.

RUSTY A machete?

STAN Look at the table!

(STAN motions to a huge gouge in

their table.)

There is a pause.

RUSTY So what's bothering you?

STAN Uh...

STAN pauses, then starts his tale.

STAN I've been working on this project. It's a sex-doll.

RUSTY A blow-up doll?

STAN You've heard of the Real Doll? This is way beyond that. Responsive artificial intelligence. A walking, talking cheap date.

(STAN pauses) The stress of this job is too much.

RUSTY (unsympathetic) Looking at tits and ass all day? A massive paycheck? Boo hoo! You've got it rough!

STAN This is serious, Rusty. I think I'm losing my mind after what happened tonight.

STAN V.O. This thing didn't just run the program.

It tried to... to kill me!

CUT TO HOOKERBOT back at the lab.

STAN It...changed....morphed, somehow...

STAN

I know, it sounds insane. I'm still trying to process it myself.

STAN Maybe it's just the drugs.

RUSTY You're still doing blow?

STAN Trying to quit.

RUSTY I don't know what to tell you. That's the weirdest fucking thing I've ever heard.

STAN I'm so stressed. ...on the bright side, there’s a job opening in the design department. Why don't you come down and apply?

RUSTY I don’t know, I really enjoy working at home. I'm not a "team player". Where the fuck is our waitress?

STAN Come on! We’ll work together, it’ll be fun...

RUSTY Fun? I've heard your stories. Drugs, whores, mobsters... No thanks. You just told me a sex-doll attacked you!

STAN Well, the offer stands when you're ready.

RUSTY What am I doing? My life is a shambles.

STAN You have to stop thinking about her.

You're worse than a hermit these days.

RUSTY Yeah, well, It's only been a couple of months. Thanks for getting me out of my cave.

STAN Sure... Only three domestic after this.

RUSTY What? You cheap bastard, I'm only here because of you!

STAN What happened to thanks for getting me out? - Waitress!

LATER...

They're silent for a bit. They see a psychic shop across the road and see a guy with a bandaged head loading boxes into a van (on the side is written Psychic Cavern) with some guy in full fishing gear. HEADCAST looks over at the two of them and stares oddly.

STAN Hey look, it's your dad.

RUSTY That’s not funny, that’s not my dad.

FROM THE WINDOW LS: STAN They see us. Stop staring...look natural.

STAN Yeah, they could be dangerous.

We end on a shot from outside the window looking in on the two.

We see into an alley close to the Psychic Cavern - where the two men were loading up.

SCENE 5 HEADCAST and BILLY are outside. BILLY is smoking, HEADCAST is getting a package by the door.

BILLY What's in the box?

HEADCAST Book delivery.

BILLY Anything to do with your vision?

HEADCAST I'm still doing research. It's not good William.

BILLY Some quality fishing will take your mind off it. I've packed the truck. We should take off at dawn.

HEADCAST Perhaps you're right, the country air may clear my head.

BILLY I hate to say it, but this sounds a lot like the last time.

HEADCAST I think not. This is far worse, I'm afraid.

PAN UP to the sky and stars.

SCENE 6 We open on a dark space. Eventually rounded objects start to come into view. They hang in the space without the need for props or wires although “intestinal” tubes and wires are attached to these small pods. Inside the pods are small creatures. They are all wearing generic looking, blank-faced, round masks and positioned at “stations” complete with computer consoles and various monitors all crammed into their pods.

We are moving in closer and closer on MASKY the MASK WEARING BOY. He is working at his station.

OPERATOR Some of us are going for beers after work. You coming?

MASKY Nah, I'm just hitting the sack. I'll see you tomorrow. (to himself) God god, I've got to get out of this chicken outfit.

END BOOK ONE

BEHIND THE MASK The following pages are some behind the scenes extras, including sketches, notes and roughs from the production of Chicken Outfit Issue One.

[Original sketch of “Loki” the drunk bear.

]