Sometimes the commercials are more entertaining than the show

By Mike Bollinger

There are some odd products advertised on TV. While watching my usual array of sports on TV recently, I began taking notice of some of the things advertised on there. Particularly on ACC Network and Tennis Channel, there are some unique products the ads hope to entice viewers to buy.

Of course, most of these come with the line, “If you call now, we’ll include this free gift with your order,” or “If you call now, we’ll double the offer for the same low, low price.”

This is particularly true for sets of supposedly indestructible cookware that nothing will ever stick to. No amount of advertising will ever make me believe you can throw pieces of hard candy in a pan, melt them, and then wipe it off with a cloth. Nor will it make me believe you can put rocks in said pan, smash them with a hammer, and leave the pan without a scratch.

While watching during the recent holiday season, this was the first year I remember not seeing commercials for the Chia Pet or the Clapper. For as long as I can remember, those have been holiday staples.

A quick online check shows you can still buy a Chia Pet if you want one. I’m not sure why anyone would want one, but if you do, they are available in Star Wars, hedgehog, Bob Ross (the famous painter from PBS), Willie Nelson and many more varieties.

And, no worries, if you want to be able to turn stuff on and off by clapping your hands, the Clapper is still widely available as well. However, should you feel inclined to run out and get one, any rhythmic sound can turn on or off whatever is plugged into it, and it doesn’t work well with the newer fluorescent light bulbs. Apparently the new bulbs pull a smaller amount of current than the Clapper needs to operate. One of the rhythmic sounds that will turn things on and off is a dog barking. I’m not sure how that would go if a dog realized it can turn the lights on and off by barking.

Snax the Sloth will talk back to a child that’s playing with it. Of course, being a sloth, it does so very slowly. According to the TV commercial, Snax will also bark back to your dog, also slowly.

Who doesn’t like bacon? Well, there’s a new way to make it called Yummy Can Bacon. It is a can-shaped device with racks on the inside. You take the top off, hang the bacon on the racks, and put it in the microwave. It is supposedly splatter and mess proof and collects the grease in the bottom. This is also one of those where you can get the double offer, and they say they will even throw in free shipping.

Having trouble sleeping or aches and pains when you get up? Then maybe the Contour Swan is for you. It’s a candy cane-shaped full body pillow that according to the ads, “Helps you get restful sleep and wake up feeling rejuvenated.” Who doesn’t want that? However, there may be better ways to do this than this fairly expensive pillow. This one, too, comes with a special offer of a bag to wash it in and free shipping.

If you need a workout but don’t want to get out of your chair, then maybe you should try LegXercise. This is an electric, motorized gadget that moves your legs back and forth while you sit. It supposedly moves your legs up to 4,200 times in an hour and, during that hour, simulates a 1.7 mile walk. This device is rather expensive as well.

And, there are any number of credit cards and personal loans guaranteed to make your financial situation better. I’m not sure how taking a loan and going into debt makes that better, but maybe I’m missing something.

While I’m not going to run out and buy any of this stuff, I guess these commercials show that there is a market for pretty much anything, even a stuffed sloth that will bark back to your dog slowly.