A Matter of Principle: Behold the power of compassion

by Qarol Price

“True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it,” said Daniel Goleman.

As the glow of gratitude lingers after Thanksgiving’s solemn reflections and festive feasts, the winter holiday season is only just getting started! There is still lots of celebrating and merry making ahead, right?

Well, not necessarily if Christmastime fills you with a sense of dread. There’s the financial stress, commercialization, family tensions, loneliness, holiday crowds, traffic and other pressures that account for the dull spirits that set in during the holidays.

On the other hand, others are able to honor their religious or cultural practices, revel in the traditional festivities while cheerfully dispensing acts of kindness and charity this time of year.

What accounts for the difference?

I will pull a “Captain Obvious” here by stating that the two opposing experiences have a lot to do with emotions. But what is not so obvious is how much control we have over them.

Whether you are happy or bothered by anything, it is related to your beliefs or attitudes about it. Fearful and anxious feelings come from menacing expectations, while feelings of love come from the belief that someone or something is lovable. Who really wants to fulfill their expectations to feel miserable every holiday season?

Wouldn’t it be a valuable gift if one were to receive the insight to relieve their own suffering or find meaning in it?

That gift is the message of Christmas.

One reason Christians revere the birth of Jesus is because he embodied the spirit of love and selflessness which emphasizes the idea of compassion and giving. Compassion, of course, is an emotion. But it is one that may be learned with great difficulty if one’s own suffering hinders their ability to notice the suffering of others.

It is certainly well worth learning not only because it helps others, but just as well because it enriches ourselves –immeasurably.

Better than continuing my pedantic explanations, I point to the superior exposition we find in Charles Dickens and his novella, “A Christmas Carol,” published in 1843, that had a profound impact on shaping the modern understanding of Christmas as a holiday of compassion and goodwill.

The story (spoiler alert) of Ebenezer Scrooge’s transformation from a miserly, selfish individual to a generous and compassionate one after being visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come emphasized the importance of caring for others and the idea that it’s never too late to change. Dickens’ work struck a chord with readers and with its strong emphasis on charity, family and giving to those in need.

This synopsis does little justice to the brilliant way in which Scrooge gains compassion. As readers we get a chance to walk in Scrooge’s shoes and learn how he became the hardened miser we first meet. By doing so, we unexpectedly develop compassion for his character!

How wonderful that stories can help shape our hearts toward a more loving place. And how wonderful that holidays continue to affirm that which swells our hearts.

⋆ Next time: Dependability

Qarol Price is a writer and educator. She has taught philosophy to children in Johnston county Public Schools and in Harlem in New York. She is a resident of Selma.