Cursing the church or Helping It? Exposing the Spirit of Bal a am
A n n a M . Aq u i n o
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© Copyright 2012—Anna M. Aquino All rights reserved. This book is protected by the copyright laws of the United States of America. This book may not be copied or reprinted for commercial gain or profit. The use of short quotations or occasional page copying for personal or group study is permitted and encouraged. Permission will be granted upon request. Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version. Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified® Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All emphasis within Scripture quotations is the author’s own. Please note that Destiny Image’s publishing style capitalizes certain pronouns in Scripture that refer to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and may differ from some publishers’ styles. Take note that the name satan and related names are not capitalized. We choose not to acknowledge him, even to the point of violating grammatical rules. DESTINY IMAGE® PUBLISHERS, INC. P.O. Box 310, Shippensburg, PA 17257-0310 “Promoting Inspired Lives.” This book and all other Destiny Image, Revival Press, MercyPlace, Fresh Bread, Destiny Image Fiction, and
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Treasure House books are available at Christian bookstores and distributors worldwide. For a U.S. bookstore nearest you, call 1-800-722-6774. For more information on foreign distributors, call 717-532-3040. Reach us on the Internet: www.destinyimage.com. ISBN 13 TP: 978-0-7684-4048-5 ISBN 13 Ebook: 978-0-7684-8880-7 For Worldwide Distribution, Printed in the U.S.A. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 / 15 14 13 12
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Dedication
To Dr. John Watson, the equipper. To Apostle Arthur Lee, the activator. To Pastor Greg Squires, the launcher.
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Acknowledgments
Special thanks to my super-awesome husband, who is the man God made for me. Thanks to Pastor Jeff Ferguson, founder of Spirit Life Church in Alexandria, MN, who did not mind me calling him when I got Scripture-stumped. Thanks to my mom and dad, who have supported me through this entire process, and a special mention to my sister—you are such a mighty woman of God. Special thanks to all my friends and family. You guys are awesome!
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Endorsements
There is an epidemic that has plagued many churches today. It is a fast-spreading disease that seeks to destroy those who will give it a voice. If it is not identified and dealt with, it can ruin lives and churches through its subtle schemes. Anna Aquino exposes, articulates, and gives timely truths to protect those who are in the path of the “curse of the spirit of Balaam.� Read this book and avoid its dangerous effects. Hank and Brenda Kunneman Senior pastors, Lord of Hosts Church and One Voice Ministries Omaha, Nebraska
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Contents
Foreword. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Chapter 1 The Story of Balaam: Why Is
It Important? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Chapter 2 Quieting Sister Bucket-Mouth and
Loose-Lips Steve. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Chapter 3 I’ll Trade You Two Fake Smiles for a
Pretentious “I’m Praying for You” . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 Chapter 4 Looking at Situations With
Offense-colored Glasses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Chapter 5 But What About Me?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Chapter 6 Love the Hell out of People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141 Chapter 7 God’s the Papa of This Family!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159 Chapter 8 Choosing to Be in God’s Plan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183
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Conclusion. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
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Foreword
I
I am thrilled to have the honor of writing the forward for this book, Cursing the Church or Helping It? Anna Aquino is one of my faithful, loyal sheep whom I pastor. She is a wonderful wife, an awesome mother, and a woman who fears the Lord. She is a prophetic voice to this generation and is an anointed writer. You will be challenged, stirred, and changed as you read and meditate on the truths in this book. Cursing the Church or Helping It is a powerful revelation written in a very crucial season to the Body of Christ. In this book, Anna, by the help of the Holy Spirit, exposes the work of the enemy in the lives of many Christians. The Bible says in Hosea 4:6, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” (NKJV). When God gives His people insight from His Word, by His Spirit, concerning key truths that are not being followed, it provides a 17
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means of escape from the destruction that many have brought upon their own lives by their ignorance or deception. That is exactly what this book does. As you read, you will be laughing and repenting at the same time. Anna uses her past mistakes and successes in a humorous and yet direct manner to help expose the “spirit of Balaam” that has gotten in the Church. I believe that many believers have suffered tremendous setbacks and atrocities in their lives because they have been deceived by this spirit into developing attitudes and actions that dishonor God and His Church. Many believers are offended, bitter, jealous, competitive, unforgiving, slanderous, and mean-spirited because of ignorance, deception, and rebellion. This book will expose the root issue to these attitudes and actions and give you simple yet powerful solutions for how to conquer and overcome them. I believe this book will be a tremendous help to pastors and their sheep, enabling them to recognize and be free from the influence of the “spirit of Balaam.” I encourage and challenge you to read this book and allow the truths to not just shake you, but change you for the glory of God. Pastor Greg Squires Senior Pastor, Freedom Life Church Kissimmee, FL
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Introduction
I
In the years I’ve been saved, I’ve been around several churches. I want to be perfectly clear that when I say “exposing the spirit of Balaam in the Church,” I am not singling out one particular church or denomination. I’ve been a member of churches that, as a whole, did a lot right; I’ve also seen things done that I can say were not the will of God. With that said, in the Book of Revelation there are various references to Jesus coming back for one Bride (see Rev. 18:23; 21:2,9; 22:17). The Church is sold-out to God, and the believers make up this one whole figure. In order for us to become the Bride of Christ, we must stop being so divided. We must start coming together. We must be places of refuge for nonbelievers and start being places where they want to come. That doesn’t mean that we will always agree on everything, but we must start pursuing unity. Once we’ve given our 19
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lives over to Jesus, we must realize that we have to start putting our differences aside and get along. It is my hope with this book that you, the reader, will begin to see where we in the Body of Christ are messing up. It is my hope that you will begin to recognize that there is a spirit of Balaam running rampant in our modern churches and that we must begin to deal with this spirit now and drive it out. The world sees the junk that is going on in churches, and they don’t want a part of it. If we really accept the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19, we’ll put our differences aside, we’ll stop asking, “What is it in it for me?” and we’ll genuinely start loving each other. God desires unity in His Church Body. His desire is that we would begin to work together as a team. His desire is that we be unified by the love of Jesus Christ. I have always said that when I see a problem I can choose to be either part of the solution or part of the problem. I in no way can claim perfection in this area, but I choose to try to be part of the solution. Please make that choice for yourself. There is a lost and dying world out there. They need to see that the Church is different from their socially-segregated high schools. They need to see a “family” operating as a team, not a bunch of cliques playing a role. Examine yourself as you read this book. Ask the Holy Spirit where you have missed it and what you can do so that you are part of the solution and not part of the problem.
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C h a pt e r 1
The Story of Balaam: Why Is It Important ?
T
The story of Balaam in the Old Testament can be found in Numbers 22-24. I’ll give you the “Anna version” of the story. There was a king named Balak who started getting nervous because he saw the children of Israel. He’d heard the stories of how they got out of Egypt, and he was scared. He realized that he was nothing next to their God, so he called for a prophet. He thought, Oh, I know what I’ll do. I’ll get this guy to curse the Israelites so they won’t be able to mess with me. It makes sense, really. Therefore, Balak sent a team of people to get Balaam and bring him back to Balak to curse the Israelites. However, Balak neglected to realize that there was one problem. Balaam refused to speak anything that was contrary to what God said. 21
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Balaam sought God about cursing the Israelites, and God told him, “Nope, you can’t do that; those are My children.” Balaam told that to Balak’s people, and they left. However, that answer wasn’t good enough for Balak. He sent his people back to get Balaam, offering him more money to come back and curse these people. Balaam again sought God, and God told him no, but this time God said he could go to Balak and tell him he couldn’t curse the Israelites. Balaam got on his trusty donkey and took the journey to Balak. On the road to Balak, an angel of the Lord appeared to the donkey, not to Balaam, and Balaam started getting really ticked off at the donkey for stopping. Balaam was trying to get the donkey to go, and that donkey wasn’t moving. For a brief moment, you could almost hear Eddie Murphy’s voice come out of the donkey, like the donkey in the Shrek movies. God opened the donkey’s mouth when Balaam started to smack him, and donkey was like, “Hey, stop beating me! There is an angel in the road.” Balaam finally saw the angel, and he kept going to Balak. Once Balak and Balaam met, they began to conspire with each other. Balak set Balaam up and told him to curse the Israelites. I can only imagine that some money was exchanged. At least Balaam continued to refuse to say anything outside of what God said to him. Balaam sought God repeatedly. God blessed His people instead of cursing them. 22
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The second time Balaam went back to try to curse the Israelites, the Bible says that Balaam went to a place where he could see the Israelites camped out, and again he tried to curse them and again he couldn’t. Balaam saw them struggling in the wilderness, but he really didn’t care. He’d really wanted to curse them and was probably quite frustrated because God kept blessing them. By the third time, I’m sure Balak and Balaam already knew their answer. They couldn’t curse the children of Israel because they were God’s children. Determined to Curse Typically, when I read the story I think, Well, at least Balaam didn’t curse the children of Israel. I mean, at least he did only proclaim what God told him, and, well, I’m sure he was tempted to sell out, but he didn’t, right? Wrong. If you think about it, Balaam kept going back to God, trying to do what he knew was not God’s will. While he did God’s will, he didn’t want to. I think it’s obvious from how often he kept going back to God that he wanted to take the money and curse Israel. He reminds me of a toddler going back to his parents over and over again, “Can I curse them now? OK, how about now? Now? Now? Now?” While he was considered a prophet of God, he didn’t even recognize when an angel of the Lord was standing in front of him. In fact, that word angel in that passage is capitalized, and every 23
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time we see the word Angel of the Lord like that in the Bible, typically it means that it wasn’t just an angel—it was Jesus. The story of Balaam is also a good lesson to teach us that just because a person can flow in the gifts of the Holy Spirit doesn’t mean they have character. Balaam kept trying to curse the Israelites. He’d lost his compassion for anyone but himself. He was so caught up in what he was doing that he was willing to beat his donkey for not getting him in front of Balak on time. He’d become very casual about the things of God. As I read this story one day, I thought that Balaam was finished at the end of this story. I thought, Well, this is a good story to remind all of us that we can’t sell out and to be sensitive to what God is doing. I figured that the story ended there. However, the story of Balaam is far from over. The Bible has several references to Balaam. I believe God is trying to turn Balaam’s story into a lesson for the Church as a whole. God doesn’t make sure things get in the Bible just because they make for good stories. God has plans and purposes behind everything He does. He knows that the Body of Christ is susceptible to a spirit of Balaam. I believe He is trying to warn us. I believe that just like a spirit of Jezebel, there is a spirit of Balaam at large in the churches today. I believe that this spirit is lurking around believers in the Church, as well as people in the world. We must recognize it and deal with it. 24
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The Story of Balaam: Why Is It Important?
The name Balaam literally translates as Bal, which means “no” or “nothing,” and laam lor lom, with means “people.”1 The spirit of Balaam turns people into wishywashy, “no-nothing” people if believers will let it. These people are ineffective. Later in Numbers 31, because Balaam couldn’t curse the Israelites, he knew that Balak could defeat them if the children of Israel began intermarrying with the people in the land. He knew that God did not want them to do so because they would eventually begin worshipping other gods. He suggested this to Balak, and it was exactly what happened; inevitably, the Israelites were defeated because of it. In Numbers 31:8, we find out that Balaam was eventually killed by a sword. It wasn’t a pretty way to end a “prophet’s” life. While he never went against what the Lord said, he did go around it and figure out how to curse them and defeat them. Balaam used his knowledge of God against the people of God. He understood if he could get people outside of the will of God then they could be cursed. He was more concerned about his own benefit than he was about the will of God. Here are some other biblical references to Balaam: For they did not come to meet you with bread and water on your way when you came out of Egypt, and they hired Balaam son of Beor from Pethor in Aram Naharaim to pronounce a curse on you. However, the 25
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Lord your God would not listen to Balaam but turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord your God loves you (Deuteronomy 23:4-5). In addition to those slain in battle, the Israelites had put to the sword Balaam son of Beor, who practiced divination (Joshua 13:22). When Balak son of Zippor, the king of Moab, prepared to fight against Israel, he sent for Balaam son of Beor to put a curse on you. But I would not listen to Balaam, so he blessed you again and again, and I delivered you out of his hand (Joshua 24:9-10). Because they had not met the Israelites with food and water but had hired Balaam to call a curse down on them. (Our God, however, turned the curse into a blessing) (Nehemiah 13:2). My people, remember what Balak king of Moab counseled and what Balaam son of Beor answered. Remember your journey from Shittim to Gilgal, that you may know the righteous acts of the Lord (Micah 6:5). They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam 26
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son of Beor, who loved the wages of wickedness (2 Peter 2:15). Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain; they have rushed for profit into Balaam’s error; they have been destroyed in Korah’s rebellion (Jude 11). Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality (Revelation 2:14). I want to point out here, before I continue, that Balaam practiced divination, which is absolutely wrong. The definition of divination is using the gifts of the Spirit for personal gain. Accepting bribes of money and favor is contrary to the will of God. Even though Balaam didn’t pronounce that curse on the Israelites, he taught Balak how to get them cursed. He prostituted his gifting for money. Misusing the Prophetic Gift This happens a lot in the Body of Christ. Unfortunately, many “sell” their giftings to the highest bidder. I love the prophetic gift. I confess that miracles, signs, and wonders make me giddy, but they cannot be bought and sold like some cheap 27
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dollar store toys. We are accountable for how we treat them. Maybe we let it just slide here and there. Maybe someone gives a good, cushy prophetic word to someone important and it’s really “thus sayeth the prophet” verses “thus sayeth the Lord.” We as the prophetic people of God must be separate. We must continually strive to give the pure word of the Lord instead of giving what people want to hear. I am saddened time and time again when people come to me wanting a “word” about a particular instance. While I flow in a prophetic gifting from God, I am not a psychic. I do not perform on demand. I wait for His command. I am not like a street monkey that you can wind up and make me clash cymbals together. I can pray with someone about a situation, but I cannot force anything to happen. I do not, as a prophetic voice, get to pick and choose what God wants to tell people. I do, however, believe that God always has something to say to His people, much like a father has for his child. However, we must be very careful not to conjure up words for a person just because we want to. The prophetic voice has to mature and learn when to say something, how to say it, and when not to. I’ve gotten this right before, and I’ve messed up, too. I remember one particular case when I kept getting a word for a person, and I was in a place to give it to him, and I did. However, when the word was given, I felt grieved in my spirit. I asked the Lord why I felt so grieved. What He said to me forever changed the way 28
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I give words to people. He said, “While what you said was right on, this man is in sin right now. He’s going to misuse the word to justify what he’s doing. The word was right; how you gave it wasn’t.” At this point I was ready to drop to my knees and repent. I was ready to go back to the person and try to explain my mistake, but the Lord told me not to; He would deal with the person and his sin, and at this point there was nothing more I could do but pray. There is a responsibility involved in being the mouthpiece of God. We have to learn to give the word the way God wants it given. We have to learn when to say something and when to be silent and pray. I am just the vessel. I teach people that often in the prophetic we are just the mail carrier. We give the mail. We don’t have to understand the word or even attempt to, but let the person who it’s for understand it. We stay out of it. I often use the example of a time when I was in a School of the Holy Spirit. We were in small groups, and we were to pray and ask God for a vision for someone in the group. A long-time friend of mine kept getting this vision of two doves. He had no idea what that vision meant. However, I did. Doves are symbols that God uses to minister to me often. It’s one of those things where I know what God is saying when doves are involved. The vision was for me. My friend didn’t know this, nor did he need to. That was a moment between God and me. 29
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All too often, I’ve seen prophetic people think that they need to either understand the word or hear the person’s life story after something like this. The prophetic voice doesn’t need to know everything. The good news is that God knows everything, and when it’s God, it works. Stop trying to make a prophetic word fit into the vessel you think it should, but allow God to reveal Himself through it. If we are not careful, we’ll become like a frustrated person doing a puzzle. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but all too often we can try to bang in the prophetic word to make it fit into our own places. Really all we’re doing is setting up problems for later. Many people have this misguided view that the measure of a prophetic individual’s accuracy is the measure in which that person is acceptable to God. That is a false teaching and mindset that affects the Church. The Bible talks a lot about false prophets. Balaam is just the tip of that iceberg. Then the Lord said to me, “The prophets are prophesying lies in My name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divinations, idolatries and the delusions of their own minds” (Jeremiah 14:14). Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves (Matthew 7:15). 30
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For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect—if that were possible (Matthew 24:24). Her prophets whitewash these deeds for them by false visions and lying divinations. They say, “This is what the Sovereign Lord says”—when the Lord has not spoken (Ezekiel 22:28). Sadly, many false prophets go around in the Body of Christ today, parading themselves as true prophets. They wear the right clothes and they say the right things at all the right times, but it is a lie. Sometimes it can be very hard to discern the difference between a prophet of God and a false prophet. Accuracy is not the measure of a true prophet. You will know the true prophets by their fruit. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn 31
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down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them (Matthew 7:15-20 KJV). If you can’t tell if a prophetic voice is false or not, look at the fruit born from the word or the situation. Check the Fruit Years ago I was in the middle of a situation where a lot of people I loved and respected decided to start their own church. While it may have been a God thing that they start that ministry, the way they did it wasn’t of God. It was done out of order. Because of my respect for them, I struggled with trying to define what had happened. While I am not calling them false teachers or false prophets by any means, I am saying that what they did at that moment wasn’t God’s perfect will, and it can be seen from the fruit of what happened. It caused a church split. There is a difference between a church split and a church plant. This particular instance was a split. While I believe God can and has made the work acceptable, the fruit of this church beginning the way it did was a church split. I am now able to recognize that it wasn’t of God because of the fruit it grew. It took time for me to step back from the situation before I could discern the fruit. Sadly, true prophets have gotten a bad rap today. So many people have misused the Holy Spirit and 32
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have been like Balaam that too many have closed their hearts to the prophetic. I assure you, God still uses godly men and women with character to speak His words to His Church and His people. Just because there have been a few bad apples in the bunch doesn’t mean we should burn the entire bushel of apples. Just remove the bad apples. However, for the sake of this book, I’m not diving into the divination side of Balaam’s story, which does go on in a lot in churches. I think that side is pretty cut and dry—stop doing it. For the purpose of this book, I want to go back and look at Deuteronomy: For they did not come to meet you with bread and water on your way when you came out of Egypt, and they hired Balaam son of Beor from Pethor in Aram Naharaim to pronounce a curse on you (Deuteronomy 23:4). The issue with Balaam is not just that he used divination, which is wrong. The spirit of Balaam showed through when Balaam saw those Israelites struggling and he preferred to curse them than to help them. He wasn’t trying to meet them and greet them. Balaam could have cared less about the Israelites. He was all about himself. He wanted his diviner’s fee and didn’t really care about the people. He would rather throw stumbling blocks in front of them than help them. That heart motive is the focus of this book. 33
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The Spirit of Balaam Today Sadly, this happens all the time in churches today. Revelation addresses the state of the churches in the end times. There, Balaam is brought up again: Write this to Pergamum, to the Angel of the church. The One with the sharp-biting sword draws from the sheath of His mouth—out come the sword words: “I see where you live, right under the shadow of Satan’s throne. But you continue boldly in My Name; you never once denied My Name, even when the pressure was worst, when they martyred Antipas, My witness who stayed faithful to Me on Satan’s turf. But why do you indulge that Balaam crowd? Don’t you remember that Balaam was an enemy agent, seducing Balak and sabotaging Israel’s holy pilgrimage by throwing unholy parties? And why do you put up with the Nicolaitans, who do the same thing? Enough! Don’t give in to them; I’ll be with you soon. I’m fed up and about to cut them to pieces with My sword-sharp words. Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with 34
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your new name, your secret new name” (Revelation 2:12-17 MSG). To me, it doesn’t seem like this is a church one would care to be a part of. God does not take sabotaging the children of Israel very lightly. He equates that with being right under satan’s throne. Ouch! The thing is, there are people doing this all the time to the children of God today, and they don’t even know it. They don’t see what they’re doing in the Body of Christ. They’re deceived. I want to be used by God in this book to open your eyes to how you may be deceiving yourself and sabotaging God’s children. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way (Romans 14:13 NKJV). But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak (1 Corinthians 8:9 NKJV). But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea (Matthew 18:6). We have this concept in the modern-day Church that we are so good and we would never think about 35
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cursing our brother or sister in the Lord, because that would be witchcraft and certainly we wouldn’t do that in the Body of Christ. But what is the definition of a curse? It is an evil prayer, an evil wish, or a source of harm. I would say that most people aren’t operating in what we think of as witchcraft curses. However, many of us curse our brothers and sisters in the Lord and don’t even realize it. Here are a few characteristics of the spirit of Balaam that we might be harboring without noticing it: •• Do we see people struggling in an area,
and we’d rather gossip about them than help them? •• Are we looking at baby Christians and
thinking that we’re better than they are because we’re so much more mature? •• Are we being so selfish that we don’t
want to help others reach their destiny in the Kingdom? •• Are we ignoring the fact that nobody is
perfect and trying to pretend that somehow we are? •• Do we talk in “Christianese” around
non-believers because it makes us feel more important? 36
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•• Are we more caught up in social circles
than in God? •• Are our cliques overpowering the move of
the Holy Spirit in our churches? •• Are we more caught up in our own “per-
sonal” ministries then in contributing to the work of the ministry in our churches? •• If people ask us to pray for them, do we
really mean it or are we stammering off a few “God bless yous” and quickly getting back to our own issues? All these things are ways of operating under a spirit of Balaam. This is being a “no-nothing” person, and God is not happy with that. He wants people with substance. He wants people who love each other and will stop being so selfish because they genuinely care for one another. Acting like Balaam is not His plan for His Church. Come Together There is a lost and dying world out there that is on their way to hell, and so many of them don’t want to go into a church because they have seen too much hypocrisy. It’s as if their taste buds have been seared when it comes to church, and they’d rather go their own way. Springing up around the world are home-based 37
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churches full of people who are tired of going into a church because they’ve been hurt too many times by Christians. While I think these small, home-based gatherings have their purpose and place, if their sole intent is to avoid having one pastor and being one “church,” then I think they’re misguided. You can’t avoid the Church. We need each other to continue to move forward. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17). We can’t miss out on the experience of coming together in the Body of Christ just because we’ve seen the spirit of Balaam run rampant and unchecked in the Church. We need to learn from each other. We need to be around one another. We need to be the family of God. The world needs to see that we’re different. Sadly, most people I’ve talked to who have fallen out of fellowship with God have done so because they got offended in a church, left the church, and eventually backslid. While they are accountable for their own choices to leave that church and backslide, the people who are running around offending everyone are also accountable. I’m not saying that we spend our days being careful not to offend people. Sometimes we are going to. However, I am saying that we need to start caring about each other more than we care about ourselves. We need to realize it’s not all about us; it’s all about God and His Kingdom. We’re not here to build 38
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our own temples and shrines to ourselves. Is that church drama that you’ve labored so hard to produce really a tool for you to shine, or is it for God to shine through you so that others can see Him? Is the class you’re teaching a gathering of your followers or of God’s? Are you drawing people to God or yourself? Here are some quotes I gathered from various people about some things they’ve witnessed in the Body of Christ. I’ve kept them anonymous: I’ve seen “friends” sell each other out. I’ve seen betrayal acted out as if people did it all the time. I’ve seen people abuse their authoritative power, but I’ve also seen authority that did their utmost to please God. Still, they were taken for granted or misunderstood. When we go back on a Sunday, this little, old, cute grandma-lookin’ kinda lady is sitting behind us as we file in our pew, and I greet her and she says, “I’ve looked around and been watching for your family, and I said to myself, ‘Sometimes they are here; sometimes they’re not,’ so I guess you all are just sometimey kinda people!” This new girl had a miscarriage, and the church leader said, “Sometimes people leave a door open for the enemy.” 39
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I was going through a situation with sickness of one of my parents, and someone thought it was OK to come to me and tell me they had a dream they [my parent] died. Then they couldn’t understand why that got me upset. That parent did not pass, and that was a lot of years ago. I went to a large church and was asked by the youth pastor to lead some worship at the end of a Sunday night service that was for the youth. I got up in front of some two thousand people there and started singing. I sang one bad note from being nervous in front of the people, and the regular worship pastor under direction of the senior pastor booted me off the stage before I could finish my first song. That’s the kind of rejection that sticks with you for quite some time. While my husband and I were in ministry at a particular church, some of the ladies in the church offered to give us the use of a timeshare for a week. We really needed the vacation, and they even agreed to come to our house to check on my aging mother. When we returned, they began to give us dirty looks. My husband and I couldn’t figure out what their problem was. Then the gossip mill got started and we found 40
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out they were telling everyone they went through our drawers at our home in our bedroom and found porn and adult toys. Finally, one of them came and confessed all of this to me. They’d gone through my bedroom and into my nightstand. I felt violated. The whole church now thought things that weren’t true. The “porn,” as they dubbed it, was a picture of my husband’s backside that I took on our honeymoon of my husband getting out of a Jacuzzi. I kept it in my nightstand. The “adult toy” was a back massager! I was so upset. I couldn’t believe the nerve of these women. I planned a dinner for a family and looked forward to it. I cooked great lasagna; as far as I knew, they were coming. When they didn’t show up, we called to find out where they were. They just changed their minds in coming and never called us. There was one time at a church I used to attend where the pastor and his wife, who had led worship, had resigned. After they left, until a new pastor was voted in, I was asked to fill in as worship leader. I’d been doing it for not even a month and trouble arose with one of the deacons and his wife, whose nephew was a singer. They felt that he 41
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should be leading the worship. At the time, this particular nephew was not even a faithful attendee to the church, and their thought was that if he led the worship then he’d come regularly. While the head deacon, the one who’d asked me to do the worship, was out of town, the other deacon, the one with the nephew, approached me and said, “We had a meeting and it was decided that this week ‘nephew’ will be leading the worship.” So, I stepped aside for that week. I was told later by another deacon that what he had told me was not true. He’d lied to me. We have to realize, Church, that there is an epidemic going on within the Church, and we must accept that it’s there and begin to work on it. An epidemic is a fast-spreading disease. We can’t keep trying to sweep it under the rug and pretend it’s not there! We must rise up and not allow a spirit of Balaam into our lives, our churches, our relationships, and our homes. We must constantly strive to love each other in the church. We must stop being so selfish. It’s not all about us, but it’s all about His Kingdom! According to the book unChristian by Kinnaman and Lyons, there was a very interesting study done by the Barna group. The statistics will floor you. In a survey, 87 percent of outsiders think that Christians are judgmental, 52 percent of churchgoers feel the same way, 85 percent of outsiders 42
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think that Christians are hypocritical, and 47 percent of the church feels the same way.2 This is an epidemic if this is how we’re coming across on the earth. Who wants to be part of a judgmental, hypocritical mass of people? We must recognize that this is an epidemic, and we must change the way we interact with people. If we are the Church, then we better start acting like it. According to the same study, between 1991 and 2004 the number of “unchurched” Americans increased by almost 92 percent.3 This is an epidemic which needs to be addressed! I hope by bringing all these questions to you that I’ve made you think. I hope that as you read this book you find areas that you can work on. Do you want to be part of the solution or part of the problem? God isn’t looking for a bunch of actors. He’s looking for people who are sold out to His plan and purpose. Search your heart. You don’t want to be known as the church in Pergamum. Endnotes 1. Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, s.v. “Bal” (#H1077) and “lom” or “lam” (#H3816). 2. Francis Anfuso, “How to Get Past Your Church Wounds,” Urban Christian News (May 27, 2010); http://www .urbanchristiannews.com/ucn/2010/05/how-to-get-past -your-church-wounds.html; accessed May 5, 2011. 3. Dan Webster, “Group Asks People Why They Quit Church,” The Spokesman-Review (December 13, 2008); http://www.spokesmanreview.com/breaking/story.asp ?ID=18226; accessed May 5, 2011. 43
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C h a pt e r 2
Quieting Sister Bucket-Mouth and Loose-Lips Steve
G
Gossip
Gossip is multiplying like breeding rabbits in the Church today. We may pretend it isn’t, but we’re only lying to ourselves. We like to put pretty little bows on it in the Church today. We like saying that we’re just passing on some information so that so-and-so can be prayed for by our other sister. We like to justify it in our heads, but sin is sin so I’m going to call it that. I love what Thumper says in Bambi, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” The words have been engraved in most Americans thanks to Disney, yet we can’t seem to listen to those words ourselves. The definition of gossip according to the Microsoft Encarta College Dictionary is: 45
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