Poet Jordan Volume 27 by Jordan Neininger

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Contents 5. ‘I’m not afraid’ 7. ‘As I fell’ 9. ‘Everything becomes silent’ 11. ‘The love of my life’ 13. ‘Lock my heart away’ 15. ‘The influence’ 17. ‘Under The Surface’ 19. ‘Get outta’ my dream’ 21. ‘If I take it all what would be left?’ 23. ‘Each and every walk through the trees’ 25. ‘To You’ 27. ‘Deep within the woods’ 29. ‘I am sorry that I do’ 31. ‘For just one day’ 33. ‘Music is my drug’ 35. ‘I let go of her hand’ 37. ‘My words will never be chosen’ 39. ‘Do you know me?’ 41. ‘The Windmill’

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‘I’m not afraid’ I’m not afraid to say I love you, Because every day I think of you, From far beyond the lives we we lead, Sweet dreams I wish you every night, As I close my eyes at the end of the day The world turns and the stars become bright, I look above and into the sky, I whisper ‘I love you’ as if you were here, Never am I afraid to admit I love you so, Yet saying it out loud may not be so easy, Because the way that you see me may change, Never do I say something like I love you, Without ever meaning it with all my heart, For the heart keeps me alive, And so does the love that it brings, Admitting love is one thing, Living with it or never telling of it, Can be harm amongst the mind, As the mind is sensitive, To the heart that supplies the oxygenated blood, To live, If I could spell out those three words, Everytime with my eyes, I would with every chance I had, With a glimpse of you in my view, I’m not afraid to say I love you, It’s just something that I will cherish, With every thought and moment of you, And every night, I wish you goodnight, As I whisper I love you, To you.

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‘As I fell’ As I fell, I thought, When will this stop, I was falling, In love, Fallen I was, No one held me back, To stop the fall, The fall into love, As I was falling, I needed to hold back, But that was done, For far too long, I fell, I was falling, I didn’t know when this would stop, Would it ever, finish, As the fall was high, The feeling was ever lasting, To this day I still fall, Deeper into my own heart, Needing you to be somewhere near, To you so you can catch me, Hear what I hold back, Hold me from falling further and further, I cannot keep falling anymore, I am on the edge, Yet I am already falling, Falling from this edge I speak o, So long ago that edge I once stood, As I fell, I thought, When will this stop.

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‘Everything becomes silent’ Voices become distant, Views become real from dreams, For once I stand here, Not alone as I am so use to, To what I see in front of me (What I see next to me) Everything becomes silent, I am at peace with myself, Finding myself here again, Never bores or suppresses me, No voice can disturb me now, I am here listening to the views in awe, They tell me so much, Even if no one else will ever hear it, The mind clears itself out, I am here for peace, I have walked here in many seasons, Each time learning something new, Something new to how I feel, Why I feel and what I should do, No voice will ever take away this place, Yet the place may take my voice away, As the view that I can see, Travelling for mile upon mile, Up to the distant hills and furthermore, Is quite simply breathtaking.

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‘The love of my life’ I’m scared I will lose the love of my life, To a time that I will never remember, For you are everything I live for, No matter how far you are away from me, You are in every thought of every day, With every memory I have in mind, Comes a feeling from a time in life, The mind wanders from here to there, In a flash I am back in that memory, Enjoying the moment more than ever, I’m scared I will lose those memories, I will lose the love of my life, As life is every memory, I created, I lived, With you in mind at every moment, To lose the thoughts would be the end, As to think of blank empty spaces, Doesn’t fill me with hope or enjoyment, I’m scared of losing the love of my life, And all the memories that have been in life, Because without you, I am nothing, So when I don’t remember, I’ll be scared, So please hold my hand and take care of me.

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‘Lock my heart away’ Lock my heart away, As for what it holds, Should never be shown, As for the heart, This does no good to me, I am a heart that hurts, A heart that I keep locked away, Once unlocked the heart tells too much, It shows all that it has to give, With no hesitation, It gives itself hope that others feel the same, Hope that someone else understands, The heart should be locked away, Because what it feels, Even holds within it, Is much more than words, It’s everlasting within the heart, Everlasting in the world we live, Locking away what is felt, Is the best and only way it should be, As the world itself may not be ready, However, If a hole should ever appear, All that is felt would trickle out, Maybe emptying all that is felt, Until what it holds is more settled, And nothing will one day be left, The heart would lock away nothing, And the heart can beat steadily once again.

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‘The influence’ The influence, So good that it is, You feel like you can do anything, Anything you do, Feels like it is the best thing to do, The mind is at ease, Perhaps too much so, The influence works well, With fresh air in plentiful supply, To provide the mind with a fresh look, fresh hope, The influence takes hold, The world is at my front door, To which I want to open wide, The influenced mind chooses, Wisely may not always be true, The influence may be all good, In ones mind under the influence, Yet from the outside looking in, A very different view it must be, The influence changes that persons view of me, Yet I am still me, Just under the influence, Why can’t they see? The influence takes hold, With the mind is at ease, The influence, Has control over me.

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‘Under The Surface’ As I descended under the surface, The pressure rose, The harder it became to breathe, With no sight beyond an arms length, What was I doing here, In the depths of the sea, I could all but see nothing, With a wreck to my side (or so I am told), Somehow I felt I would become part of the wreck itself, For a moment I stopped, I could see nothing but silted water, Heavy breathing is all I could do, As I wondered where it was I was at, I checked my gauge for depth, As soon enough 18m turned to 30m, Deep just became deeper, My ears screamed from pressure upon them, With no view the only view I needed to see, Was that of a thumbs up, It was time to leave the depths of nothing, As I ascended, The light came into view, More so than below, What I thought I knew, Was in tatters, Something I thought I so natural at, I soon found myself having a reality check, I stood starboard side, I saw the sea so calm and quiet, How the surface is vastly different to what is below, All could be said for me, Yet my mind was all out at sea, A shake of the head and my confidence blown, So out of depth was I (and how literally I mean), I cannot see myself at where I want to be, My balance impaired by pressure and sea, If I could jump back in now, I would do so without any hesitation, As I know the longer I wait now, The longer it will be for me to get into the sea once again, Below the surface is where I want to be, Because there is no world like it anywhere above, Prepared physically I may have been once before, My confidence now rocked like a boat in rough seas, I wonder if I’ll ever be me again under the surface, Under the surface is place like no other, And no other will know why under the sea, Is so much more than the surface we live, The pressure rose below the surface, Now sitting here above it, The pressure builds, To get back under the surface.

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‘Get outta’ my dream’ Get out, get out, Get outta’ my dream, Just get out, get out, I can’t have you in my dreams, Because I want you here for real, Get out, get out, My mind only thinks of you, You are the only one that makes me real, Get outta’ my dream, Get out, get out, As what I see is what I need, When I woke up to find it’s a dream, I only ever want to close my eyes again, And go back to that dream, That I wish was so real, With you in my dream, You are a reminder, Of everything that I wish for, Get out, get out, So I can be next to you, What the mind dreams, Can be real today, tomorrow, It just could be real, Just give it the chance it craves, Get out, get out, Get outta’ my dreams, And into my arms, As you and I have dreams, To be next to one another, Just get out, get out, Believe the dream, Can one day be real, My mind only thinks of you, And my dreams too.

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‘If I take it all what would be left?’ If I take your beauty, Place it upon your body, Get your humour, And borrow your enthusiasm, I would have a perfect person, Wouldn’t I? Yet I will need your mind, And the eyes of yourself, I’ll need the hair you have, And the height of you and you, That would be a great average, The memory you have will be needed, With the odd thought from you, and you, I believe we would be getting close, But how could I forget, I will need the soft touch you have, Add it to the support you give, Especially after each helping hand you & you have given, Some days I don’t know what is best, So many pieces to choose from, If I take it all what would be left? No one in life is perfect, (Well except you, and of course you), But every piece of people around us, Will help create perfection, Something beautiful, Someone perfect, Someone like you.

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‘Each and every walk through the trees’ Each and every walk through the trees, Is just as refreshing as the breeze, The path I walk now is distant from home, Yet home is here where I walk and where I can see, I love to be here with my own mind as company, Yet these walks could achieve so much more, If you were here to walk with me, Talk with me until the path runs out, Or the sun has set upon another day, Each walk is now few and far between, I must make the most of the time here, With or without you I am here to walk, As the mind craves the air and the views, A walk through the trees is always food for thought, Written about time and time again, Yet never do I get bored of it all, It inspires me, the heart and my life, Some days I wish I could sit for a while, While the sun shines and the breeze blows, And time could stand still, Just for a moment or a day, Being here amongst the trees, Just simply walking, With you or without you, This is me, This is where I want to be, Walk I will, And inspired I will become, Because here is me, Walking through the trees.

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‘To You’ The one and only I have ever loved, How we got here I do not know, Yet somehow I write to you, In hope you will respond some day, If you wish to meet me one day, I’ll be up the hill once again, Upon the seventh of the month, I will be looking out at the view, I cherish with all my heart, Hoping that one day you can join me, We can cherish this place together, And we could love each other once again, How strange it is that we never walked here, Yet it is the place that reminds me the most of you, So I wonder at times if this is the best place at all, I shall wait as long as I feel is right, But I cannot wait all day, I wish the day will bring good weather, As the sun will keep me waiting longer than the rain, I wish you a safe journey, To wherever you are coming from to the hilltop, My heart beats with excitement to see you, May the time pass quickly until the day, And let the day be like the day we met, If you choose not to attend, Your choice I would not hold against you, As time passed is like water under the bridge, Until the seventh of the month, I will be waiting for you with every hope I have, Until the sun sets, I will wait upon the hill, Looking out at the views, That mean so much to me.

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‘Deep within the woods’ Deep within the woods, My true heart can be found, So deep that it is within the woods, Not many people see the real heart, The trees that surround the heart, Protect what it feels and what it knows inside, Because the heart lies so deep within the wood, It becomes still and silent as much as the woods, Until one day a breeze comes along, And only then can the heart sing out loud, As from the deep wood I’d not want anyone to hear, What is within as the world I live would change, Deep within the woods a heart can be found, If you come across it please take care, Sitting in the peaceful woods is where it needs to be, If it wanted to shout out from the woods, The heart would make its own way out, To beyond where the deep dark woods lay, Approach the heart calm and quietly, And it will talk to you, make time for you, Let you know why it resides in the deep woods, The heart may be seem confused at first, Even talk nonsense at times, All I can say is give it time to speak and think, Time in the deep woods has settled the heart, Too much said now and it will be scared away, It could even scare you away, Deep within the woods the heart can be found, The heart to everything that is life, If you come across it, Take care when near as the heart is settled within the woods.

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‘I am sorry that I do’ I find beauty in everyone, I am sorry that I do, For each person is unique and something new, My weakness is your beauty, And your beauty is something I cannot ignore, I find the beauty, When naturally is is there, Or hidden deep within, I find the beauty within you, I am sorry that I do, Find the beauty (in you), Because the way I act, Is to you and the beauty that I find, In some ways I shouldn’t find any beauty, The beauty you have I just shouldn’t, I am sorry that I do, Sometimes I don’t know what to do, When I find the beauty in you, And when I do? It all becomes a little bit strange, All because, I find the beauty in everyone, Everyone that is close to me, Or anyone new to me, I’m sorry that I do, But you only have yourself to blame, As you have the beauty within you.

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‘For just one day’ If I could be with you for just one day, I’d take your hand and run to the hills, Show you where you fit into my heart, As quick as I could I’d whisk you away, Find a dress to match your beauty, Dine you with the finest cuisine, Pick you a rose to represent my heart, If I could be with you for just one day, I’d make every moment count, As this day may never occur again, On this day I would find the finest sunset, With the coolest breeze there is, And as the breeze blows the hair across your face, I’d brush it to one side, - To see the sweet smile that you have, - Gently kiss you as if it was the only ever time, Once the sun had set we’d head from here, Find a tavern or two to wine, Before a dancefloor is found, To where we would dance the night away, At the end of the night, I’d wish you goodnight, All I could imagine if I could be with you, For just one day, When I awake the next day, I’d awake with a smile, Remember for just one day, I spent my time with you, Like I would do, As if it was everyday.

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‘Music is my drug’ Music is my drug, I am addicted, An overdose taken, And I am gone, Comatosed in a world, Full of vibes, My world becomes real, While reality is nothing, The drug takes hold, I’m in a different world now, I am no longer real, To you or anyone, As the music plays, As my drug, It takes hold of me, The vibes of the music, Spread through my veins, Every moment that passes, It takes more of a hold, More addicted I become, When one rhythm stands out, It feels so good, Only ever wanting more and more, The music is my drug, I am addicted for more, An overdose taken, And I am gone, The music is addictive, Full of vibes and rhythm, I am addicted.

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‘I let go of her hand’ I let go of her hand, I let go of her hand, It was a beautiful moment, I wished her well, As she went away from me, I couldn’t believe, I let go of her hand, What a mistake to make, What a mistake, I let go of her hand, I let go of her hand, I didn’t wash my hands for days, It was the last thing I had of you, That touched me physically, I had let go of her hand, But never of the love I had for you, Never a moment goes by, When I don’t think of you, I let go of her hand, I let go of her hand, What a mistake, I let go of her hand, I let go of her hand, My hand is here, It’s here for you, Waiting to be held, Never again Will I, Let go of her hand, Let go of her hand.

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‘My words will never be chosen’ You’ll never choose me over the words that I say, Because you love him so, Never how much I say, My words will never mean as much, And why would they be, When you love him so, Why believe what I day, When the voice isn’t strong enough to say, Those words of love I have for you, I’ve thrown everything I can at you, Every inch of a word I have to give, But as time goes on, My love for you may dry out, Yet it’ll never rot, As the rain will fall, The sea will lap the shore, Re-igniting the love that is always there, Believe what I say, As what I say I do mean to you, To hear the words and love I have to give, You’ll never chose me over the words that I say, Because they are just words and nothing more, Never say I didn’t try, To show my heart to you, Never say I said the wrong words to you, To tell you how I feel, My words will never be chosen, Never mind how true they are.

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‘Do you know me?’ Do you know me? Because I certainly don’t know you, In the way I wish I could, Every day I, Look to see you, Wishing I could be with you, Do you know me, Even see me, Because I am not invisible, To you or the naked eye, My heart may wish for more, But I know you and I, Can be strong enough, To live our lives apart, In our own worlds, Never colliding, Do you know me? Because I think you should, We could have good times, Even through the bad, We could make it to the other side, Do you know me? Because I think you should, I think I know you know, But I’d like to find out more.

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‘The Windmill’ We walked to the windmill, Young with the world ahead, The wind was light, It refreshed us as we walked, We could have walked anywhere, But we walked here, Never did I think of you and I, Before the view of the windmill came into view, The sun shone the evening was merry, Within a flash you were in my arms, Music played and something felt good inside, The windmill in life had just turned a little bit more, Take me back to the walk to the windmill, Through the fields and never knowing how we got there, We walked to the windmill as you and I, Leaving the windmill we were together, I look back now and see what we had, And that we had what many people would wish for now, But the windmill gave me something, I will live with forever in my heart and mind, A time and place where we started, Started something that was never truly finished, We walked to the windmill in that soft breeze, Where we shared our first kiss between you and I, The windmill that brought us together, A time where the world was young and somewhat unknown, I do believe we could walk there again, To see if the windmill still stands, Feel if the place is the same as it was, And if you would like to walk with me, We’ll find the windmill that for me has memories, To see if we can recreate that time once again, In laughter and reminiscence if nothing else, Just to see how the world differs, From once a young place, It is now older and much wiser, The windmill will forever be turning, Within my heart and soul, Even if there is no breeze to help, It will keep turning forever.

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For more poetry work by Poet Jordan, Please visit PoetJordan.co.uk

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