מוצאי שבת ר"ת
מוצאי שבת
264
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י"ח אב תש"פ 8 August 2020 'פרקי אבות פרק ד
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8.50
10.04
9.49
8.09
9.38
10.18
10.01
9.55
9.36
6.54
8.26
8.55
8.41
8.38
8.22
There Are No Atheists in Foxholes Rabbi Ben Goodman www.mydvartorah.com Providing tailor-made Divrei Torah for all occasions
Hashem created us with an instinctive stress response. Whenever a potentially dangerous situation arises (such as telling your wife that you forgot to turn off the oven), stress hormones called cortisol and adrenaline are released into your bloodstream which cause your heart to beat faster, your muscles to tighten, and your blood pressure to rise. In short, you feel like a frayed knot (written only for the pun!). People (to the exclusion of pharmaceutical companies whose revenue depends upon it) don’t enjoy being stressed and try to avoid it at all costs (literally). Psychologists and
therapists work extremely hard to help their patients overcome their fear and anxiety and achieve a stress-free life. From this week’s Parsha, however, Rabbi Yeshayahu ben Avraham Halevi Horowitz (1555–1630), otherwise known as the Shlah Hakadosh, makes a mind-boggling observation about fear. He says that if you are afraid, then you do you not need to be afraid, but if you are not afraid, then you need to be afraid.
ספר דברים
ספר במדבר
לע"נ ר' יקותיאל זלמן נאה ז''ל בן ר' חנניה יו''ט ליפא הי''ד נלב''ע ט''ז אדר תשע''ז
לע"נ מרת טויבא רחל נאה ע''ה בת ר' שמואל שמעלקא הי''ד נלב''ע כ''ה מנחם אב תשע''ז
The Pasuk says, ‘Perhaps you will say in your heart, “These Nations are more numerous than I; how will I be able to drive them out?” Do not fear them! You shall remember what Hashem, your G-d, did to Pharaoh and to all of Egypt… so shall Hashem, your G-d, do to all the peoples before who you fear’ (י"ט- י"ז:)ז. The Shlah Hakadosh explains why the Pasuk deliberately speaks about someone who is afraid. Hashem can only help someone who wants to be helped and typically, only a person who has reached his wits end and feels helpless and frightened will turn to Hashem for assistance. If, however, a person feels confident and self-assured in his own ability to deal with his circumstances, he actively shuts Hashem out of his life and places himself in the hands of chance and luck. Dovid Hamelech writes in Chapter 56 of Tehillim, 'יום אירא “ – 'אני אליך אבטחThe day that I am afraid, in You I will trust.” Ironically, anxiety and stress are indispensable tools for achieving serenity and peace of mind. When you are afraid you turn to Hashem and when
ספר ויקרא
ספר שמות
you turn to Hashem, He turns to you. The good news, however, is that you don’t need to spend your whole life quaking in your boots to be reminded of Hashem and to merit His aid; there is another way. The Shlah Hakadosh writes that if you continuously thank Hashem for everything you have and everything that happens, you will begin to appreciate how Hashem is the only one who can really help you. This means that you will be in a constant mode of turning to Hashem, letting go, and enabling Him to take care of all your needs, without needing to experience the drain of feeling anxious and stressed. M THE ONEG SHABBOS IN PRINT If you or your shul would like printed copies of the Oneg Shabbos Please contact Tzeterlech Gehungen E: zetel@btopenworld.com T: 07973449275 Minimal quantity of 10 copies per shul
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Oneg Shabbos Issue 264
Rabbi Jonathan Sigal ‘A simple Yid with a complex idea’ Former Rosh Kollel Amsterdam
What does Hashem ask of you?
ָ ֜ם־לי ְִרָאה אֶ ת־ה֨ ' אֱל ֹק ְ ִיך ׁש ֹאֵ ֖ל מֵ ע ָ ֔וְעַ ּתָ ה ֙ י ְִׂש ָר ֔ ֵאל מָ֚ ה ה' אֱל ֹק יך ְ֠ ִּמָ֑ך ּכִ ֣י א ֖ ָ ָ לָלֶ ֤כֶ ת ּבְ כָל־ּדְ ָרכָיו ֙ ּולְ ַאהֲ בָ ֣ה א ֹ֔תֹו ְו ַ ֽל ֲעב ֹד ֙ אֶ ת־ה֨ ' אֱל ֹק֜ יך ּבְ כָל־לְ בָבְ ך ּובְ כָל־ )י’’ב:’ (דברים י:ׁש ָך ֽ ֶ ְנַפ Devarim 10;12: And now, Israel, what does Hashem your G-d require of you, but to fear Hashem your G-d, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve Hashem your G-d with all your heart and with all your soul; Chazal in Brachos 33b ask, ‘Is fear of Hashem a small thing as implied in the verse?’ And they answer ‘Yes! For Moshe’s level’ (as he is speaking) “fear of Hashem” was an easy accomplishment’. The Ohr Hachaim offers a different (but still complimentary) explanation. He mentions that the verse lists other qualities “walking in Hashems way”, “loving Hashem” “serving Hashem with heart and soul”. All of these are high levels of human perfection only achieved after acquiring “fear of Hashem”, as this is the key to their acquisition. “Fear of Hashem” is very difficult, but relative to its incredible gains it is a well worth it. However, the question remains, still how do we acquire this key “fear of Hashem”? It is still very difficult. Its acquisition is actually to be our lifetime ambition for our Sages teach us “all is in the hands of Heaven except the fear of Heaven”. So, it is not easy. How do we achieve it? The answer to this is actually hinted to in this verse as explained by our Sages. Chazal Tell us that the word “and now” ועתהmeans teshuva. This is a deep Idea because people tend to procrastinate about teshuva. They do not want to change. So the verse informs us it is “now” or never. Also, the Chida explains here that teshuva is meaningless without humility. The whole purpose of a fast is to subdue one’s arrogance to bring him to repentance and change. That is hinted in the next word in the Verse “ ‘what’ does Hashem ask of you?” ‘What’ means humility as Moshe said about Aharon
For questions on Divrei Torah, please email the editor Rabbi Yonasan Roodyn at editor@oneg.org.uk
:ה־הּוא ּכִ ֥י תַ ּלִ ֖ינּו עָ ָלֽיו ֔ ַוְַאהֲ ֣ר ֹן מ..... י''א:במדבר ט''ז “And what is he to complain about?” The expression of total nothingness (humility) before Hashem. The verse is giving us the key: Repentance (now) with humility (what) brings to fear of Heaven. 'ד' עֵ ֶ֣קב ֭ ֲע ָנוָה י ְִרַא֣ת ה:משלי כ''ב The heel of fear of Heaven is humility Our sages say do not read the verse מה אלא מאהdo not read “what- rather one hundred”. If the letter אis added to the word מהit spells מאהone hundred. What is the significance of this? Many commentaries note that there are 99 letters on this verse and by adding the letter אaleph that has a numerical value of 1 that brings a value of 100. So there is a basis for our Sages to say read it as 100. But what is the deeper significance of adding א-one? א- One symbolizes Hashem who is One (all) and the Aluph (Aleph) (master) of the Universe. So when a person is/ has “ מהwhat” – humility, he then becomes a place for Hashem and achieves fear of Hashem. Chazal say the “100” that Hashem is asking of us here is referring to the 100 brachos a person is obligated to recite every day. Brachos are the expression of one’s fear of Hashem. The Kli Yakar (Shemos 25) explains that the 100 brachos are hinted to in the construction of the Mishkan by the Adonimthe 100 sockets that held the boards of the Mishkan in place (a bracha is pronounced Baruch atah ado-noy so that is the hint 100 Adonim) They are the lowest part of the Mishkan because humility is the key to saying them with fear of Hashem. They are therefore the base of our Mishkan. Through humility we can do teshuva build a Mishkan, achieve fear of Hashem, and achieve all human perfection by uniting with Hashem Echad. M
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8 Aug 2020
י"ח אב תש"פ
פרשת עקב
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Rabbi Moshe Borgor Ohr Somayach
Being Free
“Now Israel, what does Hashem your G-d ask from you except to fear Hashem your G-d to go in all of His ways and to love Him and to serve Hashem your G-d with all of your heart and all of your soul” (Devarim 10:12). These powerful words of Moshe are questioned in the Gemara in Brochos (33a). Is fear of G-d a small thing that Moshe asks ‘what does Hashem ask of you’? The Gemara answers that for Moshe fear of Hashem is a small thing. The Gemara compares it to someone who has only big vessels. Since all of his vessels are big from his perspective he considers them small. When someone comes to borrow a big vessel from him he responds he only has small ones. Since for Moshe fearing Hashem was such an obvious and simple thing when he mentioned it to the people he expressed the requirement as if it was only a small thing. However one explanation says that from Moshe’s perspective he viewed everybody as being righteous and therefore he assumed that for everyone fear of Hashem is a simple thing and therefore he mentioned it matter of fact when actually he himself considered it to be a great challenge. Rav Shimon Hirari zt’’l was a very Holy Jew who was famous for his daily bursts of inspiration between Mincha and Maariv. He used to choose something topical and relatable to the congregants. One day his son Rabbi Boruch Harari had picked up some tomatoes on his way home. He had paid 10 shekel a kilo. It became obvious to him that
he had been ripped off because everyone else (seemed) to be charging 3 shekel a kilo. He was livid and wanted to give the seller a piece of his mind. When he stopped in for Mincha, his father was emphasizing the attribute of overlooking and giving in. He gave the following example‘If a person bought tomatoes worth 3 shekel a kilo for ten shekel a kilo, it isn’t worth getting angry about it. On the contrary you helped another Jew. Consider it as if he asked you for help.’ Rav Boruch was astounded by the clear providential message to him and just another of the many examples where his father seemed to show a spirit of Holiness in his message. Harav Yitzchak Yosef shlit’a the Sefardic Chief Rabbi of Israel (and compiler of the famed Yalkut Yosef) explained that one of the greatest struggles we have is releasing ourselves from our innate desire for freedom and independence. When in a working environment having a boss challenges this drive, being married (especially for newly marrieds) is a big challenge. All of a sudden a new husband or wife has to show consideration towards their new spouse and it takes a serious paradigm shift often to adjust to that. A righteous convert who has given up on a life of freedom in terms of diet, who he can marry and all the various other ‘liberties that comes as part of taking the big step of becoming Jewish especially has to embrace the opportunities afforded him or
her in Judaism and let go of the shackles of freedom that they once bore. There was a young Austrian woman who had a beautiful voice, a gift. Her father came to the Kopshintzer Rebbe zt’l one day crying that his daughter has found a bad friend who gotten her involved in the Opera scene. She had been interviewed and accepted by the Vienna Opera house as the leading soloist not exactly the position for a religious Jewish girl. The Rebbe asked to speak to her. He could immediately tell that she was a G-d fearing, modest girl and that it was just the evil inclination trying to take hold of her. She explained to him that under no circumstances would she be prepared to give up on this great opportunity. This was a dream come true for her. She was looking forward to being the shining star of Vienna and the world. The Rebbe told her he understood what a huge sacrifice it would be for her to give up on her dream. It is a very big challenge to give up on the fame and fortune that this position promised. He told her that if she would be strong and turn down this role she would be blessed with a son who would light up the world with his Torah and guidance. ‘The Opera is something that comes and goes’ he told her ‘but a righteous son is something that lasts forever’. This brave young woman agreed to the Rebbe wholeheartedly and went on to have a son who did indeed light up the world with his Torah, the famed Shevet HaLevi, Rav Shmuel Wosner zt’l. Rav Wosner was one of the surviving students of the Chachmei Lublin Yeshiva in Poland and went on to become one of the greatest Rabbis in Bnei Brak and the world. It isn’t easy to let go of our ‘freedom’ and subjugate ourselves to the will of Hashem. This is the month of Av (the only month with a Hebrew name) because it is a reminder for us to start returning to our ‘Av’, our Father in heaven. We should consider how dedicated he is to us and how He gives us everything in our lives, literally every penny we earn, every blessing we have, every family member and every breath we take. As we are steadily approaching Elul and Rosh Hashana let’s strengthen ourselves in our fear of heaven and ask Hashem to give us the strength to see things in the right way, overlook other people’s challenging behaviour towards us and free ourselves from our evil inclination by doing His will. M
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Oneg Shabbos Issue 264
Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz Author The Observant Jew, Migdal Ohr
Hashem has been your friend longer than anyone else
“Remember, do not forget that you provoked Hashem, your G-d, in the desert” (Deut. 9:7)
This is one of six things the Torah commands us to remember. It is so important to remember them that they are listed in the siddur and many people recite them daily. We are to remember: the Exodus from Egypt, what we witnessed at Sinai, how Amalek attacked us and why they are to be destroyed, the Golden Calf (referenced in this posuk), what Hashem did to Miriam (she got tza’raas for speaking about Moshe) and finally, we are to remember to make the Shabbos holy. What is unique about this commandment is that we are adjured to remember an embarrassing sin of the Jewish People. The Ramban comments that the sins committed prior to the giving of the Torah at Sinai were not mentioned here, for once Klal Yisrael witnessed Hashem speaking to us and giving us the Torah, we were more obligated to listen to it and thus the sin of the Golden Calf is recalled. Normally, though, when a person has sinned and repented, we are forbidden from mentioning his embarrassing failure anymore. In this case, not only is it mentioned, but we are told to ensure that we remember it. Why should this be so? Were it merely intended to embarrass or humble the Jews, perhaps it would not be mentioned. However, the sin of the Golden Calf, and how the Jews provoked G-d in the desert, conveys not just what happened, but WHY it happened. This is further illuminated by subsequent verses. A few pesukim later, Hashem tells Moshe to descend the mountain because, “the People you took out of Egypt has become corrupt.” Did Moshe truly take the Jews out of Egypt? It was Hashem Himself! The Haggada does not mention Moshe, in fact, because it was G-d’s hand alone that drew us out. However, the mistaken perception among the people that it was Moshe who brought us out led to the construction of the calf and our downfall. When Moshe went up to the mountain and the Jews thought he had died, they gave up hope. Moshe was the one helping them, guiding them, and providing for them, and now he was gone. What would they do? They turned to an idol as an intermediary to G-d. What they forgot was that the first two commandments were spoken by G-d, Himself, and it was only at our request that Moshe stood between us. Had we not been fearful, Hashem would have dealt with us directly, perhaps for the rest of the Ten Commandments, perhaps for more. Because we didn’t recognize Hashem’s willingness to be close to us and His constant personal involvement in each moment of our lives, we felt afraid that without assistance, we would be utterly
lost. We felt that Moshe took us out, not Hashem, and therefore when Moshe was not there, we fell into sin that nearly destroyed our nation. When Hashem commands us to remember the sin of the Golden Calf, what He’s really reminding us is how cherished each of us is. This mitzvah is not to cause guilt or pain that we sinned, but to feel regret that we didn’t and still don’t realize our own worth in HaKadosh Baruch Hu’s eyes! If He spoke directly to us as Sinai, we should never be afraid to open our hearts and mouths and cry out to Him directly. That is something it would be a sin to forget. A man came to his Rabbi distraught. His business had taken a turn for the worse, he wasn’t happy, and he constantly felt things were going wrong around him. “Tell me,” said the Rabbi, when you were a child and had a fight with your best friend, what would your father tell you?” “Well, he would remind me that we were good friends and that if my friend did something wrong to me there was surely some reason or impetus for it. He would ask me to be patient and give my friend the benefit of the doubt, as we would likely be friendly again very soon. But Rabbi, I’m grown-up now, this isn’t about toy soldiers, this is about real life.” “That is true,” replied the Rabbi, “but Hashem has been your friend longer than anyone, doesn’t He deserve the same treatment?” M
8 Aug 2020
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Oneg Shabbos Issue 264
MUKTZA
Rabbi Avi Weisenfeld Rosh Yeshivas Beis Dovid; Author “Kashrus in the Kitchen” & “The Pocket Halacha Series”
A pot with food in it (that was cooked in it or stored) may be moved for any reason. Although we stated above that an empty pot is muktza, that is primarily because its main usage is for cooking which is forbidden on Shabbos. However, once it has food in the pot, it becomes like a normal container and may be moved normally. Nevertheless, once it has been emptied of its food, it becomes muktza, but nevertheless, may still be moved if its appearance is disturbing, it is considered a graf shel re’ei (and may be moved normally). Q. May one move a muktza item of this category (kli sh’melachto l’issur) for a permitted usage if one has a permitted utensil? A. If the permitted utensil is relatively easy to obtain, one should use that one before using the muktzah one.2 For example, one may not use a hammer (a kli sh’melachto l’issur) to crack nuts if he has a nutcracker readily available. 3) Kli Sh’Milachto L’Heter – A utensil whose primary usage is for a permitted usage may be moved for almost any purpose, i.e., even for its own sake not to get damaged.3
HALACHA SERIES - PART 2 OF 4 1) Kli Sh’Milachto L’Issur – A utensil whose primary usage is forbidden on Shabbos is muktza. Nevertheless, this category of muktza may be moved in two situations: a) to use the muktza item for a permitted purpose, or b) when the muktza item is in a place that one needs for something else. However, it is forbidden to move it to prevent it from getting lost or damaged.1 2) For example, a hammer is muktza, since it is primarily used for building and similar purposes which are forbidden on Shabbos). Nevertheless, if it is needed for a permitted purpose, such as to crack open nuts or a coconut, it may be used. Similarly, an empty pot is also muktza, as its primary usage is for cooking, even though it is sometimes used for storing food. Therefore, if an empty pot is on the kitchen counter and one needs the counter space to prepare food, it may be moved. However, if the only reason why you want to move this type of muktza is because it may get stolen or damaged if left where it is, one may not move it to prevent this from happening.
Examples of items included in this category include: a broom, plates, tables, chairs, corkscrew. 4) Muktza Machmas Gufo – Something that is not a utensil, and was not designated for a permitted usage on Shabbos may not be moved at all.4 Items included in this category: detergent; raw foods that are not eaten uncooked, such as: raw beans, potatoes, pasta and rice; pits; inedible peels and bones (with no fruit/ meat attached to them); uncut roll of aluminium foil or plastic tablecloth; a bar of soap. M
Other examples of this type of muktza: baking tin, sieves, strainer, potato masher, grater, peeler, sponges and steel wool, non-electric measuring scales, food processor, rolling pins, mixing bowls, peelers, and matches. 1 Gemarah Shabbos 124a.
2 Mishnah Berurah 12. 3 Gemarah Shabbos 123b, Shulchan Aruch 308:4. 4 Rambam 25:6, Shulchan Aruch and Ramo 308:7.
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Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss
Rabbi Ari Bensoussan
Rav of the Agudah Yisrael of Staten Island
Director, Chazak LA
In Prison With A Smile
Do The Impossible
The chaplain in Albany walked into the jail and was surprised to see a prisoner in a tiny little cell, lying on a narrow cot, reading and smiling. It looked so incongruous to see a man in a little cell with an open toilet smiling as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. The chaplain approached the prisoner and asked him, “What are you smiling about?”
Think about toting toddler taking his first steps. What makes a toddler take his first step? Where does he get the audacity to try? What makes him think that he can just stand and walk? He never has done it before. It’s not based on any prior knowledge that it’s going to work and it will happen. Yet, he musters the audacity to fight the impossible and say, “I’m going to take this knobby leg bump and this knobby leg and go,” and then all of a sudden he goes and walks. Yet, we all do it. Why? How? Where does that courage come from? Hashem prepares our minds to be able to do the impossible. He prepares us to take footsteps into the unknown and to accomplish things beyond our capability. That is a deeper meaning of hameichin mitzadei gaver – Hashem prepares the footsteps of man.
Through the bars, the prisoner replied, “Why shouldn’t I be smiling? I’m living the American Dream. I have everything I could dream of. I am served three meals a day. There’s a well-stocked gym. I’m going to college here. I would never have been able to afford these things. All my needs are taken care of.” The prisoner was answering in utmost sincerity. He is sitting behind bars in a tiny little room with an open toilet and he felt like he was living the American Dream. It is an epiphany. Here we are living in galus; we are in jail and yet, we feel like we’re living the American dream. We are in jail; we are away from our land and so far from the glory that we had. We don’t have the Beis Hamikdosh. We can’t do the mitzvos of aliyah l’regel, karbanos, and hilchos tumah v’tahra. We are missing the joy of doing so many mitzvos. We have to realize all the things that we’re missing. Our life is a shadow of our glorious past. All the radiating kedusha that was once with us is gone, yet we feel like we’re living the dream. From Torah Anytime
A $ a day Please help support my Rebbe, Rabbi Ari Bensoussan’s meaningful work around the globe www.wearechazak.com/dollaraday Listen to Rabbi Ari’s Shiurim here: https:// www.torahanytime.com/#/speaker?l=199
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Oneg Shabbos Issue 264
Restoring the primacy of Choshen Mishpat Under the auspices of Harav Chaim Kohn שליט"א
Rabbi Meir Orlian Halachah Writer, BHI
This page is sponsored by nextgenrealestate.co.uk
MONEY IN THE WALL The Steins bought a house about 10 years ago. The family grew over the years, so Mr. Stein decided to renovate and expand the house. He contracted Mr. Hyman for the job. As Mr. Hyman tore down one of the walls, he discovered a faded envelope with $50,000 cash in it, hidden behind one of the panels. “Wow! Talk about hidden treasure,” exclaimed Mr. Hyman. “I thought we only read about this in books, not in real life!” Mr. Hyman wrestled with his conscience, but finally decided that he had to check if it belonged to Mr. Stein. “I have a funny question to ask,” he said to Mr. Stein. “Go ahead,” replied Mr. Stein. “By any chance, did you hide money in the wall?” asked Mr. Hyman. “No, we don’t do that anymore,” laughed Mr. Stein. “We keep our money in the bank! Why do you ask?” “Well, when I tore down the wall, I found this envelope with $50,000 cash in it,” replied Mr. Hyman. “You’re kidding,” said Mr. Stein. “No, for real,” Mr. Hyman responded. “I wonder how long this envelope has been sitting here,” said Mr. Stein. The two examined the bills. They were all dated prior to 1980. “This could have been sitting here for 40 years,” said Mr. Stein. Mr. Stein checked previous ownership of the house. He found out that the house had changed hands a number of times, but the names of the early owners were not Jewish sounding. The first Jewish name was the previous owner, who lived there from 2000 until he sold the house to Mr. Stein 10 years ago. “What should I do with the money?” asked Mr. Hyman. “Good question,” said Mr. Stein. “I’ll have to ask.” He called Rabbi Dayan and asked: “To whom does the money belong?” “The Mishnah (B.M. 25b) teaches that a person who finds something in a mound of rubble or an ancient wall can keep it; he does not need to publicize the aveidah,” replied Rabbi Dayan. “The Gemara interprets in this case that the object was
לע''נ אריאל יהודה ז''ל בן ר' פינחס צבי נ''י קליין
very rusty or it was found toward the bottom, so that it was presumably not hidden there by the current owner, but rather was left long ago, perhaps by non-Jews” (C.M. 260:1; Shach 260:2). Or Zarua, cited by Hagahos Maimonios (Hil. Gezeilah V’aveidah 16:1), maintains that even if the initial owner of the item was Jewish, since it was left such a long time ago, we can assume that he already abandoned hope (yei’ush). Nonetheless, the Rishonim ask why the owner of the wall should not acquire the lost item through kinyan chatzer, since a person’s courtyard can acquire hefker for him, even without his knowledge (see Sma and Rabi Akiva Eiger 260:2). Tosafos (B.M. 26a, s.v. d’shatich) explains that a courtyard does not acquire something that is unlikely to be discovered, as when the treasure is deep in the wall. Rambam (Hil. Gezeilah V’aveidah 16:8) explains that since the treasure was unknown to all, it is considered as lost from everyone (similar to something lost in the sea), which the finder can keep. “Here also, Mr. Stein does not claim that the money was his, and circumstances indicate that it was left long ago, possibly by a prior gentile owner,” concluded Rabbi Dayan. “The previous Jewish owner did not acquire the hidden money though kinyan chatzer, since it was not likely to be found and is considered lost to all. Therefore, the money belongs to the one who finds it now” (Pischei Choshen, Aveidah 3:5-8). “Does this mean me or Mr. Hyman, who broke down the wall?” asked Mr. Stein. “A hired worker who finds a lost item is a separate discussion,” replied Rabbi Dayan. “B’e”H, we’ll address this in the next issue.” Verdict: A person who finds an old treasure, which could have belonged to a non-Jew, hidden deep in a wall, can keep it; it is not acquired by the wall’s owner.
Provided by Business Halacha Institute. The BHI is a non-profit organization based in New York that educates and guides people in up to date applications of monetary halacha. For more information or to browse the BHI archives, visit www.businesshalacha.com
8 Aug 2020
י"ח אב תש"פ
פרשת עקב
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Rabbi Dovid Kaplan Ohr Somayach
The Right Direction
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Hashkafa Series Part 2 of 7 olumbus Ohio is due east of Chicago, which means that Chicago is due west of Columbus. You’re probably wondering why I would point out such an obvious fact, so please indulge me and read on.
It was a Thursday night, motzai Tisha Ba’av (like this year). My wife and I, married for about two weeks, set out from Columbus, her home town, to Chicago, mine, for our final Shabbos in the U.S. before leaving to live in Israel. We are very careful about not travelling too late on Erev Shabbos and always have been, so our plan was to break up the seven hour drive into two. We’d leave late Thursday night, drive for two hours or so, stay in a roadside motel overnight, and then drive the remaining four and a half hours Friday morning, arriving in Chicago in plenty of time for Shabbos. I got behind the wheel, confident that our plan would work well. However, someone once said “confidence is the feeling you have before you realize what the problem actually is.” The problem in this case happened to be me. I hadn’t done much interstate driving before, so when I saw the sign “70 East” I assumed it meant coming out of the east, which would bring us to Chicago, due west. My wife didn’t notice anything was amiss – I think she was captivated and enchanted by something or other that I was pontificating about – and so we drove along. After about two hours we pulled into a motel and then resumed our journey the next morning bright and early. We drove for about ten minutes and suddenly, looming in front of us was a beautiful, breathtaking, picturesque mountain range. This was not good. There are no mountains – picturesque
or otherwise - between Chicago and Columbus – it’s as flat as can be. You could roll a marble from one city to the other. If you want to laugh, just imagine the looks on our faces at this point. We drove on for another ten minutes, saw more breathtaking mountains, and then a sign that said “Welcome to West Virginia.” Under normal circumstances this might have been enjoyable, and I would have probably yelped out a loud rednecky “Yeeeee haaaaaa!”. I didn’t. Not on an Erev Shabbos, with the ramifications of what this meant sinking in. We were not happy campers. I went over to a pay phone and called my parents to find out what time candle lighting was. “We have ten and a half hours to make a nine hour drive” I said to my wife. Not a lot of leeway on an Erev Shabbos. True, we should’ve just returned to Columbus for Shabbos, but we weren’t thinking clearly at that point. Now my wife, being of an extremely conservative and rule oriented nature, would not let me, up till that point, drive even a mile over the speed limit. “Fifty six is not fifty five” is how she put it. As I resumed my seat behind the wheel she commanded in a no nonsense voice “floor it”. Amazing how quickly people can change. Right then I think I did let out a “yeeee haaaaaa!” and away we flew. Indeed, I drove way over the limit for the rest of the trip – after all, a husband should listen to his wife, right? We made it for Shabbos with forty five minutes to spare. In a couple of weeks it will be Ellul. When it comes to Yom Kippur there is a lot of vacillation. So many areas seem to need work and improvement - just look at that long list of al chaits. How is one supposed to choose what to work on, or put another way, which direction to move in? Part of the frustration experienced by many is the fact that in our heart of hearts we know we will not become the perfect person we’d like to be. We’ll be on a pretty high level at neilah, but honestly – do we really expect to maintain that for the rest of the year, month or even a week? So many times we’ve decided that we’ll be tolerant of others, and already on Motzai Yom Kippur we snap at family members. Or we decide that’s it – no more lashon hara for me! - and then a remarkably short time later we’re right back to our old selves. It is
also not unusual that at some point during the year we sink to a much lower level than we imagined while in that malach-like sate at neila. In short, for some reason we want to, figuratively speaking, be travelling west but somehow find we’re moving in the opposite direction. What can we do about this? In just about every schmooze from any mashgiach or rav that I ever heard regarding the Yomim Noraim in general and Yom Kippur in particular, the following idea emerged. A person sometimes feels himself or herself inspired in some area or other and then takes on a chunk of challenge. After a short time the inspiration wears off, and what began with a burst of enthusiasm turns into a chore. Then, slowly but surely, discouragement sets in, and eventually the entire endeavor is abandoned. When it comes to Yomim Noraim and Yom Kippur it’s very much the same. We begin with inspiration, quickly realize we won’t achieve the perfection we desire, and then become totally discouraged. The way to avoid this is as follows. On the one hand we must feel regret for past misdeeds and correct them. On the other hand, if we take on to work on everything at once we may maintain our energy for a small amount of time, but inevitably we falter. So the suggestion is to take on one or two things to really focus on, while doing our best with the rest. Then, when we arrive at the next Elul we will have improved in at least a couple of areas. That being the case, we could then turn our attention to something else. M
Oneg Shabbos Issue 264
10
SHEMIRAS HALOSHON
FOOD FOR THOUGHT TO SPARK N CONVERSATIO
SHALOM STRATEGIES BY PURSUING PEACE, WHO DO WE BECOME? When we think about a person striving for shalom, our first impression is that he is making life better for others. The people around him benefit from his peace-loving ways, his patience, his humility and his positive perspective. All of this is true, but pursuing shalom is not only an altruistic goal. It’s the greatest gift a person can give himself, for it gradually transforms him into someone beloved by all. With the example of Aharon, the Torah illustrates the rewards of a life lived for shalom. Our first glimpse at Aharon’s character comes when Hashem hands Moshe the leadership of Klal Yisrael and Moshe turns down the mission, worried that Aharon, his elder brother, will feel overlooked. Hashem assures Moshe that on the contrary, his brother will be happy to see him selected for this historic role. Aharon’s keen awareness of Hashem left him with no temptation to argue with His plan.
CAN SOMEONE SET HIM STRAIGHT? SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT KEEPS REPEATING THE SAME BEHAVIOR THAT CAUSES HIM GRIEF. IS IT BETTER TO SOLICIT A WISE PERSON’S HELP IN GETTING YOUR FRIEND OUT OF HIS RUT, OR TO GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND LET HIM BE? THE DILEMMA Your brother is a hot-head. He is highly intelligent and a hard worker, but he can’t hold a job. You’ve tried to help him see how his behavior antagonizes people, but he’s not listening. Do you say, “This is who he is. I’ll just focus on his many good points,” or do you ask his chavrusa, whom he respects, to speak to him?
THE HALACHA
Later, when Aharon’s two sons were consumed by a fire they had brought to the altar of the Mishkan, this same trait of total acceptance came forth; the Torah relates that “Aharon was silent.”
The companions and relatives Hashem put into our lives are there to help us refine our natures, pointing out flaws that we cannot see in ourselves.
With this foundation of inner peace, Aharon was able to make peace among others.
It’s not only permitted, but it’s important to offer constructive criticism or have others offer it.
Pirkei Avos points to him as the paradigm of one who “loves peace and pursues peace.” By approaching others with complete humility and allowing them to feel honored and appreciated, he was able to reconcile many of his generation’s disputes. Aharon was a balm to the Jewish people, beloved by all. When he died, he was mourned for 30 days by each and every person of Bnei Yisrael.
[Remember: One must follow the seven rules of to’eles.]
Through Aharon, the Torah teaches us the ways of peace. Aharon didn’t spend his life pursuing love and honor. He spent it pursuing peace. He chose the path that enables a person to spread peace as he makes his way through life, which in turn brings him the love and respect of everyone whose life he touches. M
Sefer Chofetz Chaim 10:3, Be’er Mayim Chaim ad loc #23
The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation Reviewed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy. For discussion only; actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.
8 Aug 2020
י"ח אב תש"פ
פרשת עקב
פרקי אבות
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Indonesia Photo: Daily Overview
Chapter 4 Mishna 7-8
LIVING LESSONS The perfect compromise Even if you are sure that upon are right, it’s better to quietly come to a peaceful compromise than to argue. In the heat of an argument, people often get upset and say things that wouldn’t have said if they were calm. They don’t think logically anymore and aren’t capable of judging objectively who is correct. When faced with a conflict, always strive for compromise.
Friend or judge? Although the mishna is advising judges in a courtroom, we can take the lesson for our daily lives as well. Don’t be quick to judge your friends. You never know what influenced them or what they might be going through. By allowing yourself to be open and accepting, you will earn others respect.
Agree to disagree Arrogant people usually have fewer friends because it’s hard to find someone who will always agree with them. This mishna teaches not to force your opinions on others. Instead, discuss it with them, hear their opinion, and come to a mutual understanding.
Don’t judge yourself by yourself When the mishna says not to judge others, it is referring not only to judging others , but to evaluating yourself as well. People are naturally biased towards themselves time and time again for whatever they do. If you want an honest evaluation of yourself, appoint someone else to review and advise you accordingly.
כ"ג מנחם אב 5649 - 5745 1889 - 1985
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Convenr satio Starter
cheer to o d u o y o d t a h W en you h w p u f l e s r u o y feel down?
How would you change the world if you could? y do that il m fa r u o ld u co at h W better a ld r o w e h t e k a m would place?
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