The shidduch market has always been a lucrative business. From Love Island to JSwipe, the world is full of people trying to find marital bliss (or something like that anyway). Our forefathers were no different – they were willing to go to great lengths (literally!) to find themselves a partner… Zoe Daniels and Chana Bernstein Svivot & Hadracha and Chinuch Workers
When Avraham decided that the time had come to find a wife for his son Yitzchak, he wasn’t going to settle for any old Canaanite gal. Instead he asked his trusty manservant Eliezer to head to Charan (in what is today Turkey), where his family lived, and find a nice-looking cousin to be his son’s bride. Eliezer was a little apprehensive about this request, and expressed his concern about what would happen if the girl he found didn’t want to accompany him back to Chevron:
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“And the servant said to him, “What if the woman does not consent to follow me to this land, shall I then take your son back to the land from which you came?” Avraham answered him, “On no account must you take my son back there! Hashem, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from my native land, who promised me on oath, saying, ‘I will assign this land to your offspring’—He will send His angel before you, and you will get a wife for my son from there. And if the woman does not consent to follow you, you shall then be clear of this oath to me; but do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Avraham and swore to him as bidden.” (Bereishit 24:5-9) Eliezer’s worry is understandable – it was a long way to go with a caravan of camels if he couldn’t be sure that his mission would be a success! [SPOILERS] Luckily, Eliezer didn’t have anything to worry about as he soon found a suitable partner for Yitzchak and it turned out that Rivka was more than happy to join a strange man on a long journey to a place she had never visited.
It seems strange that Avraham and Eliezer were willing to go to such extremes to find a suitable bride, and that Rivka was willing to travel so far away from home to marry someone she had never met. In fact, the story of the Jewish people is full of long journeys. We have already heard how Avraham left his hometown to move to the land that God promised him, and about his journey down to Egypt. Next week we will read the parasha in which Yaakov leaves his home for Padan Aram to escape Esav, and he eventually spent the end his life in Egypt, where he travelled to visit Yosef. The beginning of Jewish peoplehood takes place in the context of a 40-year journey through the Sinai desert. The Torah is not just a storybook. The fact that we are told about all of these journeys must mean that they have some significance to our lives today. We too are on a journey through our lives, exploring our own personalities and identities, and the Torah is coming to teach us that the journey matters. We are a people who constantly move and change, seeking to grow in every aspect of ourselves. Often, people move through life on autopilot, taking everything for granted and not really considering the meaning behind their actions. We must be aware that the process is what matters, not the outcome. We should ensure that we self-reflect and make our journey meaningful along every step of the way.
Our ancestors took long journeys to teach us that life is about more than just its destination. But somebody was missing. Yitzchak doesn’t seem to have undertaken any long journeys at all! Parashat Chayei Sara is all about finding him a wife, but he took a backseat and the story was enacted by other characters. Yitzchak himself did not appear until the very end of the saga, when Rivka was brought back to him in Chevron. Why didn’t Avraham want Yitzchak to go with Eliezer to find his bride?!
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In fact, we do see one instance where Yitzchak tried to take a holiday abroad, but he didn’t get very far! Skip ahead to Parashat Toldot: “There was a famine in the land—aside from the previous famine that had occurred in the days of Avraham—and Yitzchak went to Avimelech, king of the Philistines, in Gerar. Hashem had appeared to him and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; stay in the land which I point out to you. Reside in this land, and I will be with you and bless you; I will assign all these lands to you and to your heirs, fulfilling the oath that I swore to your father Avraham. I will make your heirs as numerous as the stars of heaven, and assign to your heirs all these lands, so that all the nations of the earth shall bless themselves by your heirs— inasmuch as Avraham obeyed Me and kept My charge: My commandments, My laws, and My teachings.” So Yitzchak stayed in Gerar.” (Bereishit 26:1-6) The beginning of this story looks familiar. Several years earlier, a famine had taken place in the land and Avraham had escaped it by heading to Egypt. Here, Yitzchak was about to try the same tactic, but before he could leave Eretz Canaan Hashem stopped him. For some reason, Yitzchak was not permitted to go outside the future borders of Eretz Yisrael. Rashi comments on this, quoting the Midrash Bereishit Rabbah. According to this midrash, God said to Yitzchak: “Do not go down to Egypt for you are a burnt-offering without blemish and residence outside the Holy Land is not befitting you”. A burnt-offering or Korban Olah is the holiest level of sacrifice. It is burnt on the altar in its entirety and cannot be taken out of the courtyard of the Beit Hamikdash. Yitzchak, who was nearly sacrificed by Avraham, was considered as holy as a korban. He represented the highest levels of spirituality and closeness with God and had to protect that by remaining in God’s land. That level of pure spirituality was unique to Yitzchak Avinu. We may never achieve the same degree of closeness to Hashem, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. Ultimately, it’s not about whether or not we get there in the end. It’s all about the journey.
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Why was it important to Avraham that Yitzchak married within the family? Why did Yitzchak play such a passive role in finding himself a wife?
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Feed the camels – relay race carrying cups of water and filling a container Mr and Mrs/the newlywed game
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I Spy 20 Questions Word Association Slap Yellow Counting to 10 The numberplate game The pub game
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Does going to great effort to find something make it more worthwhile? Have you ever been on a trip where you have gained something from the journey itself?
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