1873, July 25 - Tupelo Standard

THE TUPELO STANDARD~: ",:

JAMES M. NORMENT'

TUPELO, LEE COUNTY, MISSISSIPPI, FRIDAY, JULY 25, 1873.

PUBLISHER.

News of the Week.

withru;awa.J. He will retain the German chanCOMPENSATION. real source from which the sounds procellorship. Von Balen, It is reported will bo ceed. The effort in every case is so Crooked and dwarfed the tree must stay minister of foreign affairs.

Nor lift its g r een bead to the da.y, great that the exercise of ventriloquism '!'ill useless growths a.re loppod a.way, -;Duden, Freres & Co., Now York, lace im-Paris-The second instalment of two hunAnd thus doth human nature do ; for any considerable length of time is porfurs,. are charged with having, during a · dred aud fifty million fnuca or the last millnrd ·rm it hath c:1.rotul prtmlng, too, It cannot grovr up atraight and tt"11e. very fatiguing, and occasioua frequent long.aeries of years, carried on a systematic of the war .indemnity was delivered to the For, but for chnster tugR severe, coughing on the part of the performer. course of swindling on the revenue depart- • e:man tr.easnry on the 5th. There now reNo soul could ever tell how near God com es to whom He lvveth hcire. men.t. Their hollBe in that oity was establish~d m.,ns due to Germany but five hunnred milThe influence over the human mind abont 1858. Their principal hollSe is in Brus- ·lion france, which, in accordance with the which the ventriloquist derives from the They only know who wait in tear eels, and they have branch hollBeo in NoUing- treaty signed &t Berlin on the 151h of Mo.rch The music of a footstep near, skillful practice of his art is greater ham, London, St. Petersburgh, San Francisoo last, is to be pa.id by the 5th of September Filling upon the listening ear, than whioh is exercised by any other And l ife's grea.t depths are BOOnesi stirred · and New York. Richard Muser and Frederick nMt. In him who hath but seldom heard species of conjurer. The ordinary ma-Salvador Cisneras h&s been chosen presiMuser carry on the busines in New York, and The magic of a. loving word.

By Wm the deepest rest is won gician requires the theater, his accomOtto Muser manages the San Francisco house. de,~t ot the Cuban republic, Cespedes having Wbo toils beneath the noonday sun Acc.ording.to the affidavit,, !he pena.Jtios will resigned. The federal republicans of Cuba plices a.nd the instruments of art, and Fattbfn.l until his w.ork is done. reach the enormollB sum of $2,500,000. It is have published a manifeeto urgirig the union he enjoys but a local sovereignty within And whether thron11h the weary night alleged th&t this house is trying to form itself of all parUeo, and c•lling oa the insurgents i11 Have learned how pleasantly the light the preaoincts of his own magic circle.

OI morning breake upon the 11ight. into a foint stock compa.ny so as to evade part the name llf the captain-general and the rePorcbo.nce the j ewel seems most fair· The ventriloquist, on the contrary, has of the liability. . public to lay down their arme and enjoy the To him whose patient toil and car!]

Has brought it to the npperair. the supernatural always in command.

-Philad<!,lphia.-Tho mint ia engaged in re- beuef!ts of republica.n government. The reAnd other lips can never taste melting vast quautities or light gold coins. publicans have •ppointed a committee to go to In the open fields 118 well as in the .i draught like that he finds at last Who et.eka it iu tho burning wa.ete, Since January 1, some twenty-throe million Madrid and represeni them before the governcrowded city, in the private apartment, dollars' worth ·have been melted, and ten mil- ment and Cortes.

118 well 118 in the public hall ; he ca.n And after He bu come to hide lions more will be received this week. Order• - A special from The H&gne to the Pall Mall Onr lambs upon the other side, summon up innllmerable spirits; aad for the new trade dollars will be filled in tho Gazette denies that &ny dOttloment has We know onr abepherd and our guido, though the persons of his fictitious diaAnd thus by wa.ya not understood, •arly _part-Of ·next week. bee11 made between the Dutch and the AcheeOut or e:..ch dark Ti.ciasitnde, logue are not visible to the eye, yet -When Walworth donned the prieon uni- nese. In the Sta.too-General of Holland, July God brin,a us compensating good, For b lth ls perfected t,y fea.re. they are unequivocally present to the form &t Sing Sing, he remarked:_ "I ha.ve 2d, the colonial miaister announced th&t all And souls renew tboit youth with yea.re, gained seven pounds in clothes since I came the supplies requisite for the equipment of the imagination of his auditors, as if they Aud love looks into Hea.ve1:1 through tears•. here. I feel now like engaging in a base'ball 11econd expedition t.gainst Atcheen ha.vo boon had been shadowed forth in the silence m&tch." He remarked of the h&11doulfs whlch furnished. Be added that no ne,; otiations VENTRiLOQUISM. of a spectral form. liuked him to ;Gilleu, the wife-murderer, with the sultan of Atcheen were pending, ~ The History and Pecull1ultle1 ot'the Art• .

Mr. Daugald Stewart, in some r e" They are the starohlest cuffs I ever wore." had beon reported in public prints ; but it was It was supposed for many years, and marks upon the subject of ventrilo-The total 11monnt to · be raised by ta.xes, not llllprobable tha.t they might be opened this year, in New York city, is slightly in exce•• throagh the intermodia.ry offices o! ., friendly eminent physiologists gave countenance quism, has stated severe! instances in of $27,000,000, of which $16,700,000 are re- Raj&h. The government of Holland was will- to the theory, that some peculiarity in which deceptions of this kind were vecy quired for city · rurpo•••, and $10,800,000 for ing to conclude an honorable peace, but the the conformation of the larynx was re- frequent. He mentions having seen a state purposes. reported conditions of settlement were wholly quisite for ventriloquism, or at least person who, by counterfeiting the geeinadmissible.

WEST. .-The government at Madrid has decided to that it was aQCOmpliahed by processes ticulations of a performer on the violin, -A band of 200 ArizoH Indians has crossed employ every resource to crush the Carlista. essentially different from those adopted while he imitated the music with his the line and entered Chihuahua to spoil the Bounties are o:ffered for soldiers, and if thio in ordinary:speaking or singing ; but it voice, rivited the lfyee of his audience MexiO&DS. Capta.in Jack and his oomp"1rlons does not succeed, the government will appeal has been ·demonstrated that -the vocal upon the instrument, though every in conftnement are reported fo be growing wan to the patriotlsm of the country to eu)lply organs of the ventriloquist are the sound they heard proceeded from his and weaJt from their imprisonment. The oombatante aga.inst the Carliat• stating fra 12knumber of .Modoc captives has been inore&Bed ly the situation and means o! saving Spain. same as those of other men, nor is his mouth. He tells also of another p erson by the surrender of three more bra.ves with The proposed constitution for a foderal re- use of them materially different from who imitated the whistling of the wind their women and children. Lieut. Babcock of public divides Spain into eleren states, Cuba, that of others. . For success in the ex- through a narrow cihnk, and who often tho fifth ...;airy ~ho 'IV&O eeutinpurouit of the etc., bemg made territories. Each st1.te is to ercise of his art, be requires only k een practiced the <leception in the corner of murderers of Lieut. Almy, in Arizona, over- elect four oenators, aud deputies are to be perceptions, an ear delicately attuned a cofftl6-house. He declares that he seltook"them in.tho mountains and compelled an oh1>sen by the people. The president is limi- to the variations of sound produced by dom failed to see some of the company engagement, killed fourteen and oo.ptured six. ted to one term of four yeal1!. The oortes a.re . distance or direction, and a strongly rise to examine the tightness of the win-St. Louis-,( Golden, who has been en- to hold two sessions ·each year, and members gaged with the party of Gen. Barrett in sur- are to receive salaries. The vigorous mea- devoloped mimetic fa.cnlty. The vocal dows, while others more intent on their. veying ·the Cheyenne and A1Ta)lhoe Indian re- sures taken by thegovernmenthavepreveuted organs possess the power of imitating, newspapers, contented themselves with servations, arrived here from Cheyenne agency tile declaration of independence, which the ir- under skillful training, all the sounds putting on their hats and buttoning one hundred milos north of Fort lill, Indian reooncilables were intendillg to issue at of animate or inanimate life, and in their coats. Mr. Stewart likewise menterritory. He reports about hvo thirds of the Barcelona. such a way Ill! to represent them 118 tions an exhibition formerly common in work completed; a1'o, that the Cheyenne In· -A dispatch !romBombaygives intelligence heard at greater or less distance and Europe, where a performer on the stage dians, after cel9bratiug their medicine festivi- of a rising among the Hindoo peasa.ute in the ties, to de whioh they left their reservation, dietriol of Poonah. They rofueo to Jl&Y rents, from diffrnt directions. The ventrilo- displayed the dumb show of singing and stl,rted.for Antelope hil!JI. It is not known ftdld ha.ve plundered and buiuod several quiet is well aware that no one of our with his lips and eyes and gestures, · where they will tum up ne:i:t, but their agent hoUBes. Two bands ho.ve been diepersed bv senses is more easily deceived than our while another person, m1seeu, supplied does not aoem to apprehond r.ny trouble. the police. · • hearing, becalllle in lilltening to BOunds . the music with hie voice. The decepThere were ~75 IO<)gea or them. One baud of - Birmi.D.gha.m and Wolverha.mptou j ournals we judge of their remoteness by com- tion in this case he found to b :i so comCheyennes, under Little Robs re!W1ed to follow the main bands and remained at the agen- express a.Jarm at tho decrc>&de o! orders for paring them with other sounds whose p!ete as to impose upon the nicest ear cy. Tllo Arraphoea under Little Raven, Pow- hard'IT&l'e from America, ai.d at the remark- clistance we are familiar with, and de- and the quickest eye ; but in the proable development or the trade in the United termine thefr distance by au arbitrary gress of the entertainment he became .! der Face, Yellow Dear and Dig Mouth, numSt&tes, whose manufacturers are euppln.nti.Jig and often incorrect est imate of their distinctly sensible of the imposition, bering 450 lodges, &re on their reservations sud Jle&ceable. It is s&id Lhey will defend the those of England in the colonies and South relative volume at the place of their and sometimes wondered that it should America. · white• against tile Cheyennes should the latte~ - London-An advertisement &p)lears call- supposed emission, a standard which have misled him for a moment. In this make an attack. must often be faulty. case there can be no doubt that the d e-The railroad valuation of Ohio has in- ing a meeting of all.persons who have olaims The uncertainty with regard to the di- oeption was at first the work of the im. creased nearly eleven millione during the last aga.inBt the United States, which arose o.fter yoa.r . Tho boa.rd of equa.liza.tio , .fixed the the terminal date fixed in the tre&ty of WMh- rection of sound is the foundation of agination and was n ot sustained by the The r eal and value of railroad property last year at $68,- · ington, for the purpose of taking joint action the art of ventriloquism. If we placed acoustic principle. for the ad nncement of lheir intoreete.

312,046, and this ye&r at 117~,218,550. ten men in a row at such a distance the mock singer were too distant; -Shipments of Texas cattle east from Wafrom us that they are included in the and when the influence of the imchit:., Ellsworth, and other points in Kansas, Snake-Channer. ongle within which we cannot judge of agination subsided, the true direction have commenced. Thora are 60,COO hoad at The most charming snake-charmer is the direction of sound, an<l , if on a of the sound was discovered.

Wachita, and 150,000 head on the way to that One of the most remarkable ventrilopoint from Tens. According to official rail- Mrs. M., whom an inquirer, " not very calm day, each of them speaks in su,;iroad reports there is also a la.rge number at much afraid of snakes," has b een kind- cession, we shall not be able with clo&ed quiEts that ever lived wns M. St. Gille Ells,nrth, and small droves elsewhere. ly allowed to interview. Mr. M. , who eyes to determine from which of the ten of St. Germain en L aye, France, whose - The question of the terminuo of the receivecl the visi~or, after remarks up- men any of the sotmds proceed, and we performances have been recorded by Northern Pacific railroad continues to excite on the weather, produced out of a cup- shall be incapable of perceiving that the abbe de la Chapelle. Once, when· the people of Puget sound, Washington territory. •nil Portland, Oregon. Tbe town of board a large boa-constrictor, a python, there is any difference in the direction overtaken by a storm, St. Gille took i:Jeattle, WJ1oshiugton torritory, offers, by way and several small snakes, which at once of the sounds emitted by th e two outer- shelter in a neighboring convent, where or induc~ment, a donation of laud e.nd a sub- made themselves at home on the wri- most. If a man and II child are placed tl> e monks were in d eep mourning over scription of money already amounting to $1,- ting-table, among pens, inks and books. within the same angle, and if the man the rece,J1t d eath of a much esteemed 0 O,OJO. The town of Tacama offers the con- Interviewer was a good deal startled, speaks with the accent of a child, with- member of their conmunity. While trol of its entire ;water front and a large tract when the two large snakes coiled round out any corresponding motion in his lamenting over the tomb of their deof 1..,<l. In case Seattle does not get the terminus a responsible )larty agrees to build, and round Mr. M., and began to notice iuouth and face, we shall neccessarily ceased brother the Blight honors which equip and put in . running oruer a branch himself with t heir bright eyes and believe that his voice comes from the had b een paid·to h is memory, a voice from Soattle, to connect with the Northern forked tongues. Mr. M. then went to child ; nay, if the child is so distant was suddenly heard to issue from the , Psciflc near Tacama by the 1st of January, at call Mrs. M., l eaving him , alone with from the that the voice actually ap- roof of the choir, b ewailing the condior for a leBB amount than that pledged to the the boa deposited on an arm-chair. He pears to us to come from the man, we tion of the decell8ed in purgatory, nnd company by Seattle. felt qneer when tl:.e animal beg11ngradu- shall still continue to believe that t he n iproving the brotherh ood for want of -The Yellow Stone expedition has bean heard from. They h•ve experienced no trouble ally to come near him, to improve their child is the speaker ; and th1s convic- zeal. The tidings of the extraordinary tete-a-tete, but was soon relieved by the t ion would r equire additional strength event brought the entire fraternity to from the Indians so far.

-The gain to California"• po)lnlation by a.JI entrance ef his hosts, followend by two if the child favored the deception by the church. The voice from above r eroutes of travel, during the last oix months, little children, charming and charmers accommodating its f eatures and gestures peated its lamentations and reproaches, is twenty-four thousand four hundred and six- also. The lady and the children went to the wonls spoken by the man. and the whole company fell upon their teen ; twehe thousand from Chin& and J ap&n. at once to to the boa, and calling it by The ventriloquist utters the sound face ancl vowed to make reparation for the most endearing names allowed it to with the effect it would have ·upon the their erro:r. They accordingly chanted GENERAL INTELLIGENl'E. - Upon th• question ml\da by Mr. ·Orton, twine itself most gracefully round about bearer 's ear if it had really traversed in full choir a de profundis, during the president of the Western Union telegraph them. This boa-constrictor, as thick the distance he designs it to represent, interyals of which the spirit of the decompany, the 1.ttornev-general has decided rmmd as a small tree, twined playfully reducing its lo udness, softening some- p arted monk expressed bis satisfaction that upon lines of telegraph .operating under round the lady's waist and neck, form- what its quality or tone, and if it is in at th ;iir pious exercises. The prior afthe aot of July 21th, 1866, offioera and agents of the different departments of the govern- ing a kind of turban rouna her head words, op scuring .a little the oonsona~ terwar.t inveigh ecl against modern skepment may telegraph each other upon official and expected to b e petted and mt\d; sounds, while retaining unaltered the ticism on the subj ect of apparitions, business at rates flied by the postmaster-gen- much of like a kitten. The children pitch and duration. In doing this h e and St. Gille had gr eat difficulty in enl. · . over aud over again took its head in modifies the tones of his voice by vary- convincing the fraternity that the whole - The attomey-general bas decided that the their hands and kissed its mouth fug the position of the tongue and the thing was a deception. fifteen per cent. increase of oompens&tion of pushing nside i ts forked tongue in do~ soft palate, dilating or contracting t he Anoth er famouR ventriloqnist was empl?yeei:s of the senate &ud house a f represeatatives, as provided for by the act of M&roh ing so. " Every one to hfa taste,'' as mouth 01· p h ar ynx, and eithr dividing Louis d e Brabant, at one time valet d e 8, 1873, applies only to those employed during the old man said when he kissed the the buccal and pharyngeal cavities into chambre to Francis I. Rejected by the the 42d oon_gr~ss, and does not apply to per- cow. The animal seemed much pleased, several compartments or throwing them parents of a very rich h eiress as an unsons whose·employment in that capacity com- bnt k ept continually turning its h ead into one. This is done without move- suitable match for their daughter, menced after the 4th of March, 1873. toward interviewer, until h e allowecl it ment of the lower jaw· and with but Louis, on the death of the father, paid ..

- Illinois has 6,536 miles of railw1.y service, for a moment to nestle its head upon slight motions of the lips. Usually the a visit to the widow; and, as soon as ··. the largest am,ount of any of the United Stat•. Ohio. is next, with 4,877 mile•, t nd ilia sleeve. This splendid serpent coil ed ventriloquist stands so as to give·only a h e entered the room, the voice of her \ ' NewI .o~~ i~ t~d. ~aaeachusetls has about all round Mrs. M., while she moved prolific view of his face, unless at a dis- d eceased h usband wna heard thus to 1,700 miles. ·None of the other New England abo'?'t the room and when she stood up to.nee from his audience, and thus has addr"8S h er : "Give my daughter in st&te,s have..as J!ls.ny as 1,0.00 miles. The total to pour out coffee. great er opportunity of concealing any marriage to L ouis Brabant ; he is a man railway ser'rice &f the cou:ntry is 63,514 miles, About a year ago Mr. n.ud Mrs. M. slight motions of the facial muscles. In of fortune and character, o.nd I endure an increase of 5,608 miles during.the past year. were away for six weeks, and left the most cases, too,a.nd comparatiTely remote the pains of purgatory for h aTing re-Under tl.e law which congress paesed to refund tho duties on oeriain imported articloe boa in charge of the keeper at the Zoo. voice is a falsetto, this being more with- fused her to him. Obey this admoniwhich ictually,entered into the construction The poor reptile moped, sl ept, and r e- in the command of the performer with- tion, and give repose to the soul of of bnildings ln the bm:ne.d district in· Chlc•go, fused to be comforted; but, when his out perceptible facial movement than your departed husband." Of course the tx:easury µas paidi·JI. drawbaok of ·nearly maeter and mistress appeared, he the natural tones. Some o f the great- the\ widow complied. ,But Bmbant's $250,Q-O<>'to th~·impoHers or &Qtual 'consumers sprang upon them with delight, coiling est ventriloquists, however , have never difficulties were not yet overcome, He of the articles. · Thirty thonsa.na dollare ·have himself round them, and showing every practised any concealm.ent, but stand wanted money to defray the wedding · been paid eince Jongreaa adjourned. . This i~ very l&rgely in e:r.cess of the estimate made at symtom of intense delight. The chil- face to face with their audiences. M. expenses, and re.solved to work on the the time the law was passed. The secretary dren are devoted to their " darling A.laxandre, M . St. Gille and Lonie de fe.mi of an old hanker, M. Cornn of Lyof the treasury has pa.id to the board of public · Cleo," 118 they call the snake, and smiled .Brabant, we are informed, apparantly oua, who had a.masaed immense wealth WQfks fl.60,000, oae ~ all of _,the appropriation when interviewer · asked if theJ were did not move their lips or the muscles by Ulllll'Y and · extortion. Having obmade bf the Ia.et oongreee for oontinning im- . ever frightened by it. of their .faces.

• tained an evening interview, he conprnemente 11.lo!i,nd pqpllc igowid!'. · . ··_, / · ~ ·· ,- , ...

Ventriloquism loses its distinctive trived to turn the conversation to the Interviewer's conclusion. It is mere FOREIGN .INTELLlGENOE. prejudice, when snakes are· not veno- character ii its imitations are not per- subject of departed spirits and ghosts.

- It is repo~ 'iiiat"ibe E're~oh~oTernmenl mous, .to abhor them as we do. They forined by a voic:.i from the belly. The During au interval of silence, the voice has·under consideration the question_ of caJI- ·are intelligent and. harmless, perfectly voice, indeecl, does not come from that (Jf the miser's deceased father was heard, ing a oongress of representatives o.f the gre&t clean, with no sort of smell, make no r egion; but when the ventriloquist ut- complaining of his situation in purgatopowers in Paris, to discwis' the . terms of the kind of noise, and move about far more ters sounds from the larynx without ry, and calling loudly u pon hi$ son to. new oommeroial tre11,ty.

- The pemianent retirement of Bismarck gracefully than lap-dogs or other p ets. moving his face , he gives them f!ltrength r escue him from his sufferings, by enafrom the Pruseian cabinet, as annonnced some These sellmed very obedient, and r e- by a powerful action of the abaominal bleing Brabant to r edeem the Christians month• ago, is on the eve of accomplishment. mained in their cupboard when told to muscles. H ence he speaks by means of at th at time enslaved by the Turks. Not The prince has taken prspartory steps for his do so.-All the Year Round. ·his belly, although the throat is the succeeding on the first occasion, Bra.-

EAST.

=

bant was compelled to make a second visit to the miser, when he enlisted, not only the father, but all his deceased relations, in the appeal ; and in this way he obtained a thousand crowns for the purpose of liberating the Christian captives. When Cornu was at last undeceived, it j9 said that he died of sheer vexation and mortification.

It may be remarked, as rather an odd circumstance, thnt there have been very few female ventriloquists, and these have always manifested a deficiency of power. Only one ever attained any considerable celebrity, and eveii. h er name is unknown. She lived in Amsterdam in the sixteenth century, and is referred to incidentally b y writers of that period 118 poBSessing a remarkable gift. . The art seems to be known even by the savage races. We have authentic accounts of its practice in the most expert manner by the Esqnimo.ux, some of whom &re reported to have produced extraordinay acoustic effects by this mea.ns ; and it is quite certain that ventriloqnism is known among the African nagroes. It is upon record that a recently imported uegro in the isla.nd of St. Thomas, in the bst century, was burned a.liTe as a sorcerer for. having caused voices t o emanate from inanimate objects, such as earthen vessels, walking-sticks, statues, etc.

Rest.

T he Ordinary RUies or Health.

A man who observes the ordinary rules of heiuth and is careful every day that he obeys the demand of his body for exercise and the r equirements of his mind for relaxatiori will not only stand a l arge amount work, but will continue to a good old age to fulfill the duties of life. Men break down in middle life not because they are overworked but on account of their ignorance of the imperative demands of their physical system.. In some ca.see it is not ignorance of , these demands but wilfull neglect of their duty to themselves.

Not long since a. merchant, hearty and o.pplrently strong, was taken ill, and his doctor pronounced it acase of over work. Perhaps the doctor thou ght so, but if he had inquired closely into the habits of the p atient he would have found that it was not over work, but gross abuse of himself. Confined in a close apartment t en hours a day in the business season, eating trash at cheap restaurants, or not eating at all during the daytime, at night making a late meal, retiring to b ed with a load of indigestible food, to wake up iu the morning feeling heavy and seekil).g relief by some invigorating cordial, the merchant finally yielded to these personal assaults, a.nd the doctor prououncec1 it a case of over work.

Men do not guage themselves as they should. The engineer who would attempt to carry a hundred pounds of s team when he knew his boilers were only guaged for seventy would be pronounced an idiot, but sensible men today are carrying a pressure which t heir comu1on sense should t ell them is not only above the limits of their brain power, but is beyond the average of ordinary lllen. When they break they go to pieces m entally and live sad monuments of the folly of men who will not obey what is almost intuitively taught by the very body which they injure. It is more remarkable than we see these iustanceR of failure and yet heed not the example. We think we are to be exempt from such results, but each day the story is told again and again.

Instances are not rare of men who appe,i.r to l ead an industrious life, and rarely know sickn9Ss. They work hard, but do 110t appear to be over worked.

When you meet such a case if you will inquire closely you will find that he is a man who tales his meals regularly, h as h is seven or eight h ours ' sleep, does not overeat, is not intemperate in the u se of a.nythiug, and takes his rest as h e goes along. W e are l ike locomotives. W e need oiling all the time, not once a week or once a month. When you overheat a locomotive by overuse, you take the t emper out of it, and it is u sed up. It is the same with men, wom en and children. When shall we grow wise?

A Blunder.

Another fatal b lunder by a. drug clerk is reported. A man who had a discussion about famly matters with his wife, and came out second b est, threatened to commit suicide, and went out to a drugstore and asked for twenty-five cents worth of strychnine. The ignorant drug clerk, instead of putting up poison gave him some harmless drug in mistake, blunderingly labelled it "strychnine.,.

The man took it home, gulped it down in the presence of his wife, and then threw himself o!l the lounge to die. His wife, instead of running for a phy•ician a.nd a stomach pump, wa.i.ted until she thought he was dead, and then commenced to rifle his pockets for his loose cha.nge. H e was on his feet in a.n instant, and instead of dying he made it very lively for his better-half for about t en minutes ; and then h e threaten ed to get a shot gun and shoot the drug clerk, and his wife.said if h e didn't she would.

And now cliscord and such things d well in that house, all on account of a blundering drug clerk.

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VOL. I. NO. 42.

HUMOROUS.

Transat~litic ~aloonin_it.

[From the Bostou Post.)

Sm TBANsrr-That across the ocean.

Probably no one who has ,heard of WHEN Shakespeare wrote about patience on a monument, did he refer to the inebi:!ate who went hon·e late and doctors' patients? No. How do you waited for the bed to com:e round to hiin know he didn't? Because yon always ever supposed that his· identical principle of locomotion would b e to.ken up find them under a monument.

A NEW terror is added to dreams a.s to be utilized in making the aerial pasthe picnic season approaches. What sage of the Atlantic. But unless Prof. awful visions of piles of ham-88Ddwiches Wise, the prince of aeronauts, baa su,cto be made, and legions of lost spoons ceeded in mnking himself very :much haunt the slumber.i of women. misunderstood, that is the precise plan A IILI.N who fell into a vat of boiling that is at the present time coiling and IUllard and got out alive, says it was not coiling its springs in its head, .a nd he an unpleasant sensation after the first fondly anticipates the plcrumre of mamoment, but he thought what mighty king practice out of this t heory on the queer-shaped doughnut he would make. occurrence of the centennial at PhilaA F.iBIDONABLB young lady accidently delphia. If he should succeed in this dropped one of her false eyebrows in pretty miracle, science and the centenher opera,-box the other evening, and ary would ever after be· twined in the greatly frightened her beau, who, on historical recollection. The professor seeing it, thought it was hie mustache. found a. liberal lack of faith in his proA YOUNG ma.n who prided himself OD ject in this community, owing to causes his m ental qualifications, once speaking over which no b alloonist could well be of the advantages of these, remarked, expected to h av~ control. Our city au" What is better than a good educa- thorities were on other things inclined, tion ?" " Common sense, you fool a.nd for aeronauts had no mind. It was you," quickly responded one of his a sort of warning to·them to behold how very dear gas had become. They felt hearers.

A PoBTLAND .man was caught fishing that they had too loud calls for service for trout on another man's la.nd ·the on the earth to think just now of going other day; the owner remonstrated, but "up in a balloon." And r emembering retired in silence before the majestic Vienna might be seen in its . confusion answer ; " Who wants to catch your of commissioners and chaos of contritrout? I'm only trying to drown this butions, with quite as much certainty by stepping on board a steamer at our worm." concluTwo little girls were lately prattling wharves, they prudently together, and one of them said, "We ded to let Vienna and · balloons go keep four servants, h11ve got six horses, their own gait for the preeent, and try and lots of oarrU'ges ; now what have to lift the pressure of matters from the you got ?" With quite as much pride, shoulders of the community. So that the other answered, "We've got a if Prof. Wise is allowed to demonstrate hie neat rotatory theory at all, he will skunk under our barn."

A YOUNG lady teacher in a Lawrence have the lasting satisfaction of hitching Sunday-school caught a boy smiling it on to the c·entenary occasion, ·of last Sunday. So.id she : " What are which, indeed, it will by no means be you smiling at,· Johnny ?" "Not~g. unworthy if a success. The aeronaut's mnm," was the answer. "l know bet- idea is that there is a belt in space above ter," said the tee.oher severely ; ·, . now the atmospheric and gravitation influtell me what it W118." Johnny looked ences of the earth which he can easily frightened 118 he stutteringly said, " I reach, and where he can subsist until - I-s-1100 yer n-newapaper a-slicking snoh iime as the planef revolves sn1llout mum." The tea.oher sat down sud- oiently to bring his balloon over Europe, and then he will oome down and denly and arranged. things.

Tiu Woo»xoJL- The woodkok iz ov illustrate in a new way "the descent of them kind ov birds who kan git up ID.all."

Like the problem of perpetual mofrom the ground with about az muoh whizz, and about az bizzy az a fire- tion it is a perfectly sure thing M soon cracker, and fly away 118 crooked az a 118 the controlling element in"it is fairly korkscrew. They feed on low, wet la.id h old of and secured. Once harlands; and only eat the most · delikate n~s that into the plan, and no -doubt things. They run their · tungs down the work is accomplished; G et the perinto the soft earth, and gather ,~nder petual feature into the · motion connm~ arid tiny food. They hav a long, slen- dru!ll, a.nd it is as · plain as your hat. der bill, and a. rich brown plumage, So if the profeseor can once get above and when they light on the ground yu the reach of the law of ·gravitation, and loose sight ov tnem az quick az yu do manage to ,keep alive up there · without ov a drop ov water when it falls into a a.ny of the · ordinary sublunary inconmill-pond. The fuet thing.yu generally veniences;'· 'he:ma.yil?drop ·at length into see ov a woedkok iz a whizz, and the t h e fap of E urope ,and . einbodied trilast thing iz a whirr. How so many ov umph of aerial navigation. Of course, them iz killed on the wing iz a mystery it would be presumptuous to question to me, for it iz a quicker job than his ability to scale those heighths of snatching p ennys oph a red-hot stove. spooe where the annoying atmospheric I hav shot at them often, but i never currents are not allowed to play even itt heard ov my killing one ov t hem yet. their base. It may be as well to oonThey are one ov the game birds, and oede at once that. he can manage the menny good judges think they are the problem of the upper. currents as easimost elegant vittles that wear feathers. ly as the pastry cook.handles the upper crust ; for there are no laurele of v~ry Josh Billings.

THE PATRIDGB.-The patridgc iz striking verdure to b e won, even in outalso a game bird. Their g ame iz tew reasoning him on that well-born fie}d. drum on a log in the spring ov the year, But when it comes t o that " eastward and keep both eyes open, watching the drift " of which he speaks with i nch scientific oonfidence, he has .: ·c:ifoarly sport smen.

Patridges are shot on the wing, and struck a vein of which a good µ{a.ny persons will iuaist that they as are a.z ell8y to miss az a ghost iz.

It iz phun enuff to see the old bird much 118 h e does. It je 0.. pr etty idea, hicl.e her yung brood when da.nger iz nevertheless, that of remaining poised near. This must be seen ; it ka.nt be above the earth until it has ·turn:ed over d escribed and make enny boddy b11lieve ll, certain distance, a.nd . then dropping down three thonsnnd · miles away, :and it. · T h e patridge, grouse, and pheasant in the exact spot desired. it may ii.11are r.ousins, and either one ov them swer to style it crossing ·the 'Atlantic, straddle a gridiron natural euuff to ha.v but the voyager will have h ad no .m<_)re experience of the Atiantio tha.n of the bin bom the.re.

Take a couple ov yung patridges and Pacific. If sick at that latitude, could pot them down, and serve up with the it be called legitimate sea-sickll;eBS ? right kind ov chorg,s, and they beat the The experiments suggests, however, a ham sandwich yu buy on the Camden variety of ideas, one of wh;ch is that, in case of hostilities with European and Amboy railroad 87t per cent.

I hav eat theze lamenatble .Nu Jersey powers, by contriving a catapult ot sufham sandwich, and must say that I pre- ficient projectile energy, shells and such fer a couple ov bass-wood chips, soaked might be sent up to that particular in mustard-water, aud stu ck together point in space of which Professor Wjse speaks, and h eld there until the nation with Spalding's glue.-Josh Billings. comes under for which they w:ere inNICKEL. - Within the pBBt three yean, tended. The gas bill for this centenary more esp ecially since the discovery of balloon may t hus be a low for the revapractical methods for electro-plating latious it would d raw after it. with nickel, the demand for this metal MB. SAMUEL BLACK of Essex county, has greatly incrensed, and its price has advanced. It has risen from $1 to 3 75 Ontario, has a very pretty daughter per p ound, a.utl itB expense has become who caused him a world of trouble by so great that a substitute for it in the her willful prefer ence for Charles art is now sought. A good substitute, Wigle , a highly improper young man it is stated, may be found in the metal of that vicinity. L ast week the coumanganese. Dr. Percy, in a l etter t.o ple went off on a two days' !tea.mer exthe L ondon Times, states that twenty cursion, avd the father, declaring that years ago he made an alloy, in which he couldn't leave his com and potat-Oes manganese was used in place of nickel, to run.after that girl half hie time, met and the resemblance of the alloy to the them at the l anding on their return and ordinary German silver was perfect. shot Wigle dead.

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CmOAGO condu cts her murder trials Copper 75 per cent., manganese 25 per cent., makes an alloy resembling Ger- on business-like principles. Philip man silver, and better in its qualities. Brown, a colored barber. W118 placed on trio.I at half-put 10 o'clock, the other TBE Champaign county (Ill.) farmers' morning, for smashing in . a fellowgrange applied to a railroad for half creature's head with a sauce' pan, April fare for a trip to Springfield and return, 22, and at 10 p. m. they had him conon the fourth of J nly, and got snubbed, victed of manslaugh ter and nicely senas it deserved. After tile hard things tenced to the penitentiary for five years. the grangere have said ahou t the cold- It takes II N ew York criminal court blooded railroad monopolies it required longer than this to decide l}.ot to accept a pretty h ard check to ask such a favor, the services of the first juror. espetja.Ily as this was one of th<;i roads HB who follows truth carries his star that abolished passes and special rates in lris brain. after J uly 1.