The Student Bite

O Emperor Ireland’s most underrated band?

Vol. 1, April 2011

s t n

e t n

o C

8 Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan talks government reform

5 Summer Survival Guide 6 J1 visa

19 DJ John O’Callaghan talks trance

7 Interrailing 10 Mature students’ ‘Second Chance’ 11 Sports Psychology, Donal’s deals & Recipes 12 Barbara Ross column

18 What to expect next from Jamie Lawson

32-36 Fashion Section 37-39 Relationship Section 40 Ray Foley: The last Laugh

24 Noel McGrath on GAA/college balancing act

13 Student reputation: drunks?

14 David Norris 16 SU politics 17 Students & the economy 20 O Emperor Interview 22 GAA J1 23 Chris Bryan 26 Film Preview 24 Noel McGrath & Windsurfing 28 Irish Music 30 Film & Music Reviews

GONE are the glory days for the celtic tiger cubs, as students many of us face the possibility of emigration or unemployment when we graduate. Those of us that are lucky enough to find employment in Ireland will be crucial to reigniting Ireland’s stagnant economy.

Given how our important our generation is going to be it is amazing how often we are undermined and ignored. Plassey residents association recently

referred to the University of Limerick’s entire student body as ‘privileged brats’. This statement was brought on by residents’ angered by isolated incidents of anti- social behavior during Limerick’s Charity Week.

Obviously, this is not acceptable and anti-social behavior during the various Rag weeks is a serious issue. But to make such a gross generalisation about an entire student body really shows how much certain aspects in Irish society are undermining us. Two months ago we were all but ignored in the most important election in the history of the state. Policies dealing with third level education were confined to the back pages of manifestos

and canvassing politicians were a noticeable absentee around our college grounds in the run up to the election. They seemed more concerned with reassuring our parents that they would not have to stand at the airport and wave their beloved babies off to Australia than convincing us of a viable alternative to immigration.

The positive thinking and new ideas of our generation will be key to dragging Ireland back from the brink of economic meltdown. With some recognition from society as a whole we can offer a real alternative to the negativity associated with many aspects of Irish life. -ED

Editor - Brian Anglim Deputy Editor - Róisín Healy Section Editors - Jaclyn Stief, Fionnuala Corbett, Enda Dowling,Melissa Jennings and Stephen Scully Design Editor - Liam Corcoran Deputy Design Editors - Sean Russell, Donal Halligan and Karolina Arenhäll Picture Editor - Eugene Ryan Artwork - Aishling Costello, Jack Allen

4

Student Survival

// TheStudentBite

Your student guide to an enjoyable SUMMER

Student Survival

TheStudentBite //

Beating the boredom without flashing cash

5

A life less ordinary for this Summer Liam McDermott

Amy Grimes scopes out fun things to do with your summer on a shoe-string budget

I

f you are a student wondering how you will survive the massive stretch of summer holidays then this is the guide for you. You have plenty of free time ahead, so use it; be creative, carefree or crazy, just make sure you are anything but bored.

Get fit. Take advantage of the great outdoors while it is at its peak. Go running or cycling, or simply take a walk in the fresh air and sunshine. Exercise is free! If the weather sucks; your local gym or swimming pool will most likely run cheap off-peak classes. Jog outdoors a few times a week and you will soon see a difference in your fitness levels. Work on those home-making skills. Guys and gals, you don’t have to be an expert to know how to sew or bake. The internet is a wonderful resource for learning anything from the basics to the advanced.

Sites like www.threadbanger.com have great sewing tutorials and if you are stuck at home for months it is fun to get the creative juices going. It can be anything from customizing an old t-shirt (by attacking it with a pair of scissors) to skilfully altering clothes that do not fit correctly. As for baking, there is a plethora of informative and easy recipes available for free. The blog ‘BrokeAss Gourmet’ is a highlight, as it provides average price information, so you know which tasty recipes are budget-friendly!

Get cultured.

Been listening to Ke$ha all semester?

It’s time you visited an art gallery. Take some quiet time out to indulge in beautiful, thought-provoking or just plain odd exhibitions.

Had enough of big summer blockbust-

Funny man: Comedian Tommy Tiernan has previously headlined the Kilkenny Cat Laughs Festival

ers? See a play. For about the price of a cinema ticket you could experience some quality acting. The Belltable in Limerick or the Cork Arts Theatre offer a wide variety of shows and tickets bought two weeks before a performance are sold at a discounted price.

Start a blog. Most people have a niche interest of their own, a unique hobby or knowledge of something out of the ordinary. Write about it! By starting an online blog you can share your information with others. I’m not saying you will

“

Why spend a few hundred to camp in overcrowded mucky fields with drunken strangers

”

be getting a book deal anytime soon, but you could meet some like-minded people. If writing is not your thing, or you cannot come up with something fantastical to write about don’t worry, boredom can be productive. Keep a log of your thoughts every day over the long, hard summer and you could be on to something. Heck, keep a blog of your efforts to cross off the activities in this list! Give your brain a break from course reading. Visit your local charity shop to get some cheap books. The money is going to a good cause and if you are not looking for a specific book, all the better. Oxfam can be a goldmine for broke bookworms.

Oxegen Alternatives. Festivals can be amazing, yet festivals such as Oxegen and Electric Picnic also cost a large chunk of your hard-earned money. Why spend a few hundred to camp in overcrowded mucky fields with drunken strangers when you could go to festivals like Indiependence in Cork? A 3-day camping ticket over the August Bank Holiday weekend is only €99 and you get to see bands such as The Coronas, Ham Sandwich and Fox Jaw Bounty Hunters. There is also West Fest in Mayo on the 4th and 5th of June. A 2-day Pass is €100 to see acts like Imelda May, The Republic of Loose, The Coronas and Sharon Shannon.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Well if you go to The Cat Laughs Comedy Festival you probably won’t find out, but they will have far better jokes. The festival is on in Kilkenny from the 2nd to the 6th of June. Best of all, if you go to a show on the Thursday or Friday you can get a student discount. SB

“Oxegen is too mainstream and Electric Picnic isn’t mainstream enough”.

If this is your mind-set while trying to decide on what festival to go to this summer then why not consider West Fest. This marks the first year of the music festival which hopes to provide an alternative to Ireland’s bigger music events. It will be held in the small village of Aghamore in Co. Mayo, only a stone’s throw from Knock Airport.

After years of being ignored by UEFA, Ireland will this year host a major club final. The Aviva stadium will host this year’s Europa League Final on the 18th of May. The decision was made long before the stadium was completed at the expense of The Emirates Stadium in England (we should take any sporting victory over the old enemy). The remaining fixtures of the 2011 Nations Cup will be held the following week with a bumper month of soccer on the cards.

Have a fancy for pirates then head out to the Tall Ship Festival that is being held in Waterford from 30th June to the 3rd of July. Dubbed as one of the “most spectacular and colourful events in the world”, the festival starts off with four days in Waterford before the racing which will take in both Norway and Sweden. A festival that encourages the participation of young people in the art of sailing, make your way down if you fancy your hand at being Long John Silver.

The Cats Laugh Festival in Kilkenny is regarded as one of the finest comedy festivals in the world. It began in 1994 and is held in the first week of June every year, to provide a platform for Ireland’s comedy talent. It has had a meteoric rise since then and played host to some of the world’s finest comedians from home and abroad. This year, the Rubberbandits, Tommy Tiernan and Rich Hall headline, with newcomers like Dead Cat Bounce and Jack Whitehall also on the cards.

The place where the hedonism of politicians represented all that was wrong with Irish politics, the Galway Races isn’t actually all bad. Held on the outskirts of Galway city and beginning on the last Monday in July, the races draw up to 200,000 people coming from all over the world. Combining both national hunt and flat racing it offers a worthwhile experience to everyone from the addicted race goer to the casual pundit. If you can only make it to one day make sure it’s Thursday, or ‘Ladies Day’, but be sure to dress your best. SB

6

Student Survival

// TheStudentBite

J1

How to slice through all that red tape with a smile Kate Doyle AFTER sobbing to a friend and wallowing over a Big Mac I pulled myself together and embarked on what would be the most stressful four weeks of my life. What the hell am I talking about? The disaster that was planning my ‘J1’ summer of fun.

I was offered a job as the Dance Programme Coordinator at a summer camp in New York. The second I finished my successful interview over Skype, I set about obtaining the coveted ‘J1’. I saved and saved, skipped many a night on the town and finally parted with well over a grand.

Finally, after months of form-filling and a trip to the embassy, the much sought after J1 arrived. But that’s not all that arrived. Four weeks before I had to leave and there it was on the front page of the ‘J1 Handbook’; a list of jobs you cannot do with this visa. Number one: work at a summer camp. So after spending a fortune on credit screaming down the phone at the gombeen who didn’t listen to me in the first place, I found the god who is YMCA International. With their help, a second embassy interview and several hundred euro later my new visa arrived the day before my flight.

And so if you want a J1 summer of fun without the panic attacks and chest pains here’s how: Find yourself an organisation to help you with the process. YMCA International and SAYIT are great and deal with all types of J1.

However, research these companies and the fees they charge as some can take up to 50 per cent of your pay in the States.

Most people don’t know but there are actually 14 types of J1 visas and these can range anywhere from au pairs to alien physicians.

The most common one is the work and travel visa which is fine if you plan on working in the service industry; however, if you plan to work with children a more specific visa is required as you have to obtain a ‘Certificate of Character’ from the Gardaí.

When applying for your visa you must also obtain U.S. sponsorship. This means that if your badass-self gets into a spot of trouble, some poor American will get you out of it … hopefully. As these sponsorship companies are based in the States, J1 organisations usually arrange this for you.

There are a number of forms that have to be completed during the process. You need to be really careful in doing so as one wrong piece of information can deny your entry. Even playing the ‘top of the mornin’ to ya’ card won’t get you out of this one!

Most organisations make your SEVIS payment on your behalf.

This is a fee you pay to put your details on the Department of Homeland Security and Department of State systems. After this you should get a SEVIS receipt and a DS-2019 form containing your details which you will need to take along with you to the interview.

The next step is arranging the embassy interview. Some organisa-

tions schedule this for you, although, an interview can be arranged yourself by ringing the embassy. Within five days prior to the interview you need to complete the DS-160 form online and to do so, you will need a photo of yourself in accordance with the website’s specific requirements. Upon completion, be sure to print a copy of the confirmation page to take along with you to the interview.

Contrary to what most people think, the interview will not consist of a one-to-one with the U.S. Ambassador so a rental from Black Tie isn’t necessary. There are three stages to the interview. The first is simply handing all the required documentation, photos, passport etc. to a consulate. You will then be ‘ten printed’ which consists of all your fingerprints being electronically scanned. The final stage will be the interview. Really this is just where they ask where you will be working and living in the U.S. and your current college and course of study. Your embassy interview can take anything from half an hour to three hours, so give yourself plenty of time.

For the interview you must have: a SEVIS receipt; the DS-2019; the DS-160 confirmation page; your passport; an SAE worth €5.50; proof of funds; the embassy fee; a 2x2” photo (available from the chemist opposite the embassy); proof of study; and anything else you can bring that will prove you have reason to return once your visa expires.

It usually only takes about three days before your visa arrives; and after a quick online orientation session you are free to go.

But after queuing for a million hours upon arrival you finally have to face those really intimidating (and always bald for some reason) Customs and Border Protection guys. They will just ask you the same things as in the embassy interview. They will then issue you with a Form I-94. DO NOT LOSE THIS! To make sure you don’t, ask the bald CBP guy to staple it into your passport for you.

The final thing you will need to do is apply for your Social Security Number so you can work. Find out where the local social security office is and make sure you bring copies of all the forms you had at your interview as well as a letter to the social security officer that your organisation will issue you. Your SSN won’t arrive for three to five weeks; however, you will be given a letter declaring that you have applied so you can start working straight away. You must remember though, NEVER give your SSN number to anyone, it is a number that only you and your employer should know and unless you want some American going around pretending to be Máire Ní Súilleabháin I suggest you keep it that way. Treat your social security card like it is gold, only three copies of the card can ever be issued to you in a lifetime, so mind it.

Remember every visa type is different so be sure to check out the requirements that apply to you. Safe travels and enjoy your J1 summer of fun. It is an experience you will never forget. SB

Student Survival

Brige Newman

S

un, sea and sand; it’s not for everyone. Some people like adventure, to go off into the unknown and survive. InterRailing allows you to do that, to disappear, be independent and work your way out of dodgy situations.

Every InterRailing adventure begins at home. There’s a ridiculous amount of planning that goes into even a spur-ofthe-moment trip. Successful planning is not walking into the USIT office three weeks before college ends and buying your ticket. The internet has plenty of information for any train-hopping adventure junkie.

USIT, SAYIT and InterRail.com all have price-lists that range from a basic week pass to a month long pass in first class. A month-long youth pass is around €400. When you go into the office to buy your ticket don’t freak out when they mention insurance. It’s only about €20 and well worth it. If you lose your ticket or passport you’ll be glad of that little barcode.

The next task: planning your route.

Stressing out about deadlines and delays at the last minute is not exactly ideal, so just decide where you’re flying to, and where you want to fly home

TheStudentBite //

from. Always book these a few days before and after your InterRailing dates.

This gives you time to acclimatise on your arrival and a chance to relax before you go home. It will also guarantee that you get to the airport on time.

The final step is packing. No matter how level-headed you are, steam will be billowing out your ears by the time you’re done. Choosing what type of bag to bring is a decision that could plague your entire trip. Should I have gone with a wheelie bag? Or was I right in choosing the backpack? This is up to you; you’ll have to lug the wheelie bag up countless flights of stairs or walk miles with it on your back. But a month of heaving that thing on your shoulders will be better than any weight training.

The season you’re travelling in is always important, but remember it will get hotter while you’re out there. Shorts and t-shirts are always good. Light clothes are really all you need, with a pair of runners and flip-flops and your swimsuit. Ladies: two dresses maximum, noone cares what you look like after you’ve been downing ‘ouzo’ in the hot Greek sun all day. A roll of toilet paper (they charge in Bulgaria for

it), shampoo, quick dry towel (go to an outdoor shop and they’ll explain) tooth paste, toothbrush, sun cream and a teeny bit of make-up et voilà, you’re done.

Money is always an issue where ever you go, so budget. Hostels have kitchens that are normally pretty well equipped but double check before you do your shopping (you could end up having to fry a pizza if you don’t notice the oven is missing). Ask at the desk in your hostel for the nearest local shopping centre.

They’re cheaper than the ones geared towards tourists, and have better food.

Buy water and lots of it. Most European countries don’t believe in water purification, so you could get sick if you’re not careful.

You don’t need to deny yourself the finer things in life for the sake of saving some cash. Splashing out on a decent meal, booze or even a day trip doesn’t mean you have to starve yourself. Instead, know how much you want to spend and use money-saving schemes like taking a night train

7

rather than staying in a hostel. Alcohol is never going to cost that much, and cheap hostels are easy to find. Planning can save your wallet a world of pain.

Accommodation? Hostels are nasty.

You can get lucky and find a diamond among the coal. You’ll probably crash there for two hours, take a shower and be off exploring. Making friends in the hostel is paramount to enjoying your time. Talk to anyone who looks like they’re up for a laugh, they’ll want people to hang out with as well.

Don’t kid yourself and pretend that it’s all plain sailing, you’ll want to cry at some stage, but that’s the fun of it. Getting lost - and you’ll do this more than once - means you get to see the other side of cities. These detours make your trip memorable. A summer discovering Europe could be the best experience of your life. SB

e p o r Eu by

train

Tram in Orleans, France.

Pic: Liam Corcoran

8

Roscommon’s newest TD Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan tells Fionnuala Corbett why he has no faith in Enda Kenny and the new Fine Gael Labour government.

8

Features

// TheStudentBite

student survival

G

oing into the election in March this year, it was clear that Irish voters wanted to rout the Government. For too long Fianna Fáil had been at the helm of the country and the public felt it was high time for them to be put back in opposition and to install a few new faces in Dáil Éireann. Enter one Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan. The South Leitrim / Roscommon TD was elected with more than 9,000 votes - a considerable achievement for an independent TD.

Outsider

Features

F

“

We don’t need TDs looking into potholes, getting ditches and hedges sorted out when they should be involved in changing legislation

”

lanagan has a long history of local government involvement under his belt, a reputation for always speaking his mind and not being the stereotypical suit-wearing, smooth-talking politician.

So with just over a month completed in the Dáil what has Deputy Flanagan got to say for himself now? Is all the talk of change and political reform by Fine Gael and Labour simply just talk? Ming certainly thinks so.

“I don’t believe for a minute that this Government will actually follow through on reform on the way government works, whatever their theory as to how government should work, it’s kind of hard to put your finger on it, because it keeps shifting but my belief is that if Ireland wants to thrive, then we need real local government and we need real national government and we don’t need TDs looking into potholes, getting ditches and hedges sorted out when they should be involved in changing legislation.

The TD believes that in order for Ireland to recover, we need properly resourced local government who can, in his words, “disincentivise councils and local corporations from wasting our money”. However, he doesn’t hold out much hope that this will actually happen. “I won’t be holding my breath on it because if they did that the TDs wouldn’t be able to claim the credit for everything locally and it seems that that is what politics is about in this country.”

So if our own elected TDs don’t believe that a transformation of the political system is viable, why should students care about politics? Why would your average college student choose to expend a substantial amount of time and effort if they do not believe they can make a difference? Ming dismisses the question, saying that if students are not willing to put themselves to the forefront of Irish politics, it is, quite frankly, their own tough luck.

“People should get into politics because it’s their future. Politics will be all the same as long as we have all the same people involved. So if new people go out there and put their name on the ballot paper, well then they won’t be all the same. Politicians don’t fall out of the sky and they don’t come out of bubble-wrap from China. They are actually put there by us so if we don’t like them, get rid of them and if they’re not willing to do that, tough luck,” he says.

Running as an independent is what he preaches, rather than being “sucked in” to the franchises of Fine Gael or Labour. As long as you are not bothered about pleasing parties, which he doesn’t seem to be, being an independent gives the opportunity of highlighting the issues that really bother you, rather than those that are of concern to a party elite.

H

e believes students should take a leaf out of the senior citizens’ book and protest at what we perceive to be unjust. According to him, the Government will continue to ignore the student population as long as they can get away with it and he can’t understand why we’re so docile and willing to take it.

“If every student voted they wouldn’t be ignored. In my constituency, I think there was a hell of a turn out of students and they basically changed things, along with an awful lot of old people... so they need to participate.

“The reason why the Government listens to the pensioners and the reason why they didn’t cut the pension is because they know 95 percent of them come out and vote. And the reason why they don’t give tuppence

TheStudentBite //

9

about students is because not enough of them come out and vote. There is a direct correlation between the two.”

And what about the rest of the population? At a time when many people are quite jaded with the politics scene, is there any real chance of them campaigning for change? Flanagan claims it won’t be long until the citizens of Ireland take to the streets in protest at the Government.

“I think in the next year you’re going to see people get very very annoyed. An awful lot of people know their nostrils are about to go beneath the water levels.

They’ll have a choice to radically go out there and try and change things on the streets or they’ll just go under.”

Although not a newcomer to the politics game by any means, Luke Flanagan is very much a newbie to Dáil Éireann. When asked about his plans for his term in the Dáil, it is evident that local issues are close to his heart. He hopes to develop tourism in his constituency, fund local projects, promote local produce and in doing so boost the economy there. Despite his fondness for his constituency, he is adamant that he wants to see a turn away from the typical parochial politics for which Ireland is infamous.

“I would only be over the moon not to have to deal with these local issues because it’s absolute and utter torture. The amount of requests that you get is just impossible to deal with and that makes it impossible to actually focus and concentrate and develop ideas at a national level which is a major problem. Ultimately until they reform the way local government works you just have to look after the local issues because there is no structure at local level to do that.”

I

t is somewhat of a paradox that a local TD who has so much support in what is a predominantly rural conservative constituency is best known for his pro-cannabis stance. He recently announced he was quitting smoking ‘weed’ in Ireland following calls for gardai to investigate his use of the illegal drug. So does he still want it legalised? The answer appears to be yes.

“I haven’t quit for a start and I’ll still be campaigning for the legalisation for it.” Ming says, However, that he does not smoke in the Republic of Ireland and refuses to be drawn on the question of whether it is possible to go from regularly smoking to only using it on the occasions where he is outside of Ireland. Neither does he agree that saying he has stopped smoking is a cop out after coming out so strongly in favour of the drug. His stance on legalisation remains unchanged and pointing out possible harmful side effects of the drug doesn’t sway him.

“You can justify the legalisation of cannabis in the same way that you can justify the legalisation of knitting needles because some people might actually go on the rampage and kill people with them”, he says. “It all depends on whose hands these things are in and pretending they don’t exist isn’t going to solve the problem, no more than banning knitting needles doesn’t stop someone picking up a shard of glass and using that instead.”

Despite his time so far in Leinster House and stopping smoking cannabis in Ireland, Luke Flanagan continues to be the outspoken and non-conformist activist he always was. While some of his aims are questioned, there is no doubt that he will live up to his promise to make life difficult for Ireland’s seasoned politicians. SB

Second Chance 10

Student Survival

// TheStudentBite

For mature students Mary Sweeney, Liam Gleeson and Eugene Ryan, going back to college was a daunting experience but one they relished

M

ature students are increasingly choosing to study to upskill as the recession bites, but many feel the experience is extremely difficult.

According to Eugene, having left school without any real opportunity of going to college and quickly entering the workforce and earning money, he never envisioned himself at third level.

“Being made redundant from full time employment in 2006, I was only able to obtain part- time work as the economy was showing the first signs of falling into recession. I felt something new was needed and seeing a Mature Student Access course advertised in the local paper, I decided to apply and was successful. So my new journey began after over thirty years out of full time education.”

UL has around 700 mature students out of almost 12,000 spread around the different and varied courses from the Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences to Engineering and Science courses. There’s also Health Science which covers Nursing, Psychology and Sports Science which I chose as one of my electives in first year.

“Learning shorthand, understanding about ‘inverted-pyramids,’ writing news stories as they would appear in print proved challenging but rewarding.

Understanding the role of new media in the twentyfirst century and submitting regular assignments was par for the course as a mature student.”

“Within journalism we could find ourselves editing voice recordings, learning to understand feature writing and reviewing movies or new technology.

Twitter, blogging and modern media communications are just some of the new technologies journalism is embracing today,” he added.

According to Liam Gleeson, mature students often feel marginalised at university.

“WITH bad fashion sense and an obsession with tea, mature students often feel marginalised, like

Mature student Eugene Ryan Pic: Brian Anglim

the coffee cream in a box of Dairy Milk. But chances are you’re not the only coffee cream so don’t be shy and market yourself. Being different can be a unique selling point that others around you may secretly admire.”

The mature student’s vast life experience brings a lot to the table, even if it often arrives there with a mug of tea and a supply of prescription blood pressure tablets. Make a point of joining in and you will find that others value your input and the knowledge you can share.

“Maybe try and utilise your addiction to drinking tea to meet new people and make new friends.

The security of a hot mug helps to soften the blow of being in a loud bar full of midweek beer drinking ‘young ones.’

“There will be times when you will be left wondering why you are still in a classroom well into the night, while classmates are downing pints and playing games of pool. But stick it out and reap the rewards. Of course it goes with out saying that you should refrain from going at it with the same energy of such young ones in all aspects of your university life. Keep a steady pace, cross the finish line in peak fitness and not in an ambulance,” adds Liam.

Mary Sweeney says that, like it or not, there are many differences between students fresh out of school and mature students.

“It is glaringly obvious that one is no longer a fresh-faced 18/19 year-old and so from the very first day there is a barrier between ‘us’ and ‘them’.”

That barrier can be easily broken down if all parties concerned are coming to the table with an open mind but from time to time there can be a clash of perceptions and it can be easy for the traditional and non-traditional students to never really get to know each other and just simply co-exist on a daily basis.

“This is a situation that should be avoided at all costs as there is a big opportunity for mutual benefit

to arise from getting to know one’s classmates and gaining some insight into each other’s lives,” she adds. SB

“

As daunting as it first appears, take the chance and dive in. Move around, make some noise, experiment and reactivate the dormant areas of the brain

”

Student Survival

Owen

Hickey Sports stars overlook mental preparation

P

hysical conditioning in sport has always been considered a priority in training, yet the importance of mental preparation is often underestimated.

This lack of attention was recognised by All - Ireland winning former Armagh Footballer Enda McNulty, who realised that a sound mind can improve performance and made it a personal goal to make a difference.

Having studied Psychology at Queens University Belfast under the tutelage of Dr John Kremer, Enda decided to take things a step further and set up ‘Motiv8’ a motivational company in 2005.

According to Director of Performance Excellence of the company Marina Meehan, Enda is keen to stress that he only really saw results when he put the theory into practice.

“Enda would say that he used to study five times a week, but it really came into its own when he went out on the pitch on Saturday, to such an extent that his psychology teacher would go down on the pitch with him and coach him.”

Based in Dublin, ‘Motiv8’ has gone from strength to strength since its formation and extended its services to the business world in 2006.

The company has worked with a number of professional athletes, most notably Irish rugby captain Brian O’ Driscoll and Irish international 400m runner David Gillick.

When Enda met O’ Driscoll, the outside centre was of the idea that he had already peaked, that age was his only enemy. O’ Driscoll still clearly had a lot to offer and Enda compiled a DVD of the Leinster man’s best performances.

The idea behind this was to get O’ Driscoll to reflect on these positive experiences to help him to understand what he did that ensured success.

This would help him to repeat these performances and improve them further.

The results speak for themselves. Since consulting ‘Motiv8’, O’Driscoll has gone on to achieve Grand Slam success with the Irish team and recently became the Six Nations record try scorer, when he scored against England.

Adjusting to an unusual climate or becoming accustomed to a culture change can also be a huge obstacle but Marina feels motivation is a big factor: “My conclusion as to why some succeed and others don’t is they recognise that every minute of every day counts. It’s not a dress rehearsal.

Some people are prepared to put the energy into it and others fall off after a week or so; it’s about human endeavour.”

Indeed, Marina can already see signs that there will be more focus on educating the mind in the future.

Hours can be spent in the gym conditioning the body for competitive events, yet all of this work becomes irrelevant once emotions begin dictating performances. Staying positive in the face of adversity is one of the most difficult tasks an athlete will ever encounter. Attitude is everything. SB

TheStudentBite //

11

Shopping around on essentials can save the pennies, writes Donal Halligan

S

o you’re a poor student living for a week on the 50 euro your mammy gives you. One could spend their money for the week on socialising but this could leave you surviving on dry weetabix and pasta.

Shopping around is vital when you want to live on half nothing while still being able to sustain a healthy social life.

While shopping in my local Supervalu, I found a deal where you could get 500g of mince, spaghetti and pasta sauce for €5.40. This sounded great until I shopped around and found that Lidl offer the same meal for €4.60, Dunnes Stores do it for €4.09 and Tesco for €3.20. Most of these “Special Offer” deals are misleading and the only thing on offer is that all the items are in the one place. If, like many students, the height of your cooking ability is using a microwave, Tesco has great dinner packs. A wide range of tasty meals that can be cooked and re-heated are available for just €1.25. The food won’t win you a Michelin star but it will keep the hunger away.

Dunnes also provide meals except at a slightly higher quality i.e the food does not look like it has been mass produced and shrink-wrapped in Bangkok. However, this comfort comes at a price with two roast beef/chicken/pork dinners for €9 so you would have to decide what you want out of your microwave dinners.

Lidl leads the way on cheap comfort foods with biscuits rarely costing over two beans, including Kimberly’s and Mikado’s which are more than €1 cheaper than any other store I visited. There is a lot to be said for buying in bulk on items, like 96 rolls of Kitten Soft toilet paper for only €10 in Supervalu and Dunnes. You may get some strange looks but who cares when you’re saving over €5 rather than buying them in four-packs?

When it does become time to let loose, you would assume that an off-licence would have the best deals on alcoholic beverages- wrong. Twenty bottles of Budweiser, Heineken, Carlsberg and Carling in all stores are only €15, as opposed to the €20+ in a Fine Wines or Carry Out. Wine deals of up to five bottles for €20 in Fine Wines can be matched in Dunnes and also their range of spirits cannot be beaten with almost any 700ml bottle of spirits for under €15.

Granted, most of them will taste like paint stripper, but then again, what do you expect from €10 vodka?

I think it’s fair to say that pizza is a student’s best friend. My tip for pizza: boycott big businesses.

Small pizza restaurants tend to have better deals like Four Seasons in Groody, Limerick, where you get a nine inch pizza and a can of coke for €5. Domino’s and Pizza Hut pizzas are always nice but come back to me when I don’t need to re-mortgage my house to afford one.

Cooking on a budget Vanessa Dion’s choc chip zucchini cookies

Everyone loves the classic Chocolate Chip Cookie as a snack or dessert. By adding ingredients, such as M&Ms or peanut butter, one can give their taste buds a little extra flavour.

One additional ingredient that most people do not expect to pair with Chocolate Chips is zucchini.

Don’t worry; the taste is not overwhelmingly that of a vegetable, so it won’t feel as though you are snacking on greens. The zucchini itself is very subtle and acts a bit like a spice. Although this may still sound a little strange, the result is deliciously unique. So follow our recipe and enjoy!

Method:

Ingredients:

Preheat oven to 176 degrees Celsius.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.

Add the egg, flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Mix well, and add zucchini and chocolate chips.

Spray cookie sheet with spray or smear the sheet with butter to grease it.

Drop cookie mixture by tablespoons onto the cookie sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes or until lightly browned.

½ cup butter, softened 1 cup of sugar 1 egg 2 cups of flour 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. cinnamon ½ tsp. salt 1 medium zucchini, grated 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips Cooking spray

Bon appetit!

SB

12

Features

// TheStudentBite

Barbara Ross Are modern music videos works of art or simply a means of disguising mediocre songs?

W

ith technology coming on in leaps and bounds it is no wonder that music videos have become the newest art form to hit our screens. It was only a matter of time before fashion-forward musicians such as Lady Gaga used music videos to shock people into submission.

The popularity of the music video is derived from the thrill of putting imagery to music and making graphics out of the beat. Because this form of entertainment can be so intense, it thrives even through periods when the record labels are struggling for hits. According to William C. Bradford of the University of Florida, 65 percent of people are visual learners. They think in images and pictures rather than in words. This may be the reason why music videos have become such a necessity in the music industry.

But why do music videos matter? Does a good music video override the importance of a good song?

W

hen a music video strikes a nerve, it gives listeners a chance to interpret a song visually. However, in the early days, critics complained that videos imprinted prefabricated images onto the shifting illusions of a song.

Music videos inspired a whole new generation of people. These ready-made mental pictures that dominated the TV screen could influence our own imaginations. Viewers learned how to dance, dress, flirt and dream through these popular videos.

The Australian TV show Countdown played an important role in the development of the music video industry. Video clips were used to promote acts that were to appear on the show.

The popularity growth of the clips made the music industry realise their marketing potential.

MTV’s launch in 1981 began the 24-hour music television age. They introduced the channel with The Buggle’s Video Killed the Radio Star. MTV expanded to become an important tool in music marketing. Singers like Madonna used music videos to promote their albums and to recreate their images. In 1983, the almost 14-minute-long video for Michael Jackson’s song Thriller was released.

It became the most successful and influential video in music video history. Two videos that are famous for being the most expensive

videos of all time are Michael and Janet Jackson’s Scream, costing $7 million to produce, and Madonna’s Bedtime Story, which cost $5 million. “Scream” is still the most expensive video ever made. Music video could unite the listeners of all genres, turning metal heads into fans of rap (Metallica’s Enter Sandman playlisted next to De La Soul’s A Roller Skating Jam Named Saturdays). These examples of cross-cultural pollination were never before thought of instances of visual democracy, the true meaning of Pop.

P

ast decades of music videos whether seen on TV, the Internet or in clubs, have presented numerous art works expressing the street life and fantasy lives of modern sub-cultures. The experiences vary, whether one responds to urban drama, girl power, money, patriotism, dancing, adolescent nostalgia, flamboyant narcissism or just plain astonishing graphic ingenuity.

Confirmation that music videos were something more than advertisements for pop singles came with the 1988 release of Public Enemy’s Night of the Living Baseheads. This video broke new ground as it was presented as a form of social expression from the subculture of hip-hop music.

It was used as a modern reflection of television’s mainstream as encountered by hip-hop radicalism. They used footage of crack houses and homeless crack heads to set the stage for comic depictions of a TV news programme, commercials, interview segments with victimised ghetto families, the fantasy of Public Enemy as a superhero group abducted by hiphop-phobes, yet breaking free with the news of black America in crisis. Audiences were thrust ahead of the cultural curve but were provided fresh insight into contemporary social issues and were teased into using their political imaginations.

I

nspired by Michael Jackson, Madonna and David Bowie, music videos were created to highlight the beauty of dance and singing.

Music video directors have an awareness that connects to pop-star iconography and uses it to feature pop stars’ personal fantasies while also connecting with the public’s individual desires.

Some modern musicians use brilliant graphics and fashion choices in their videos to mask mediocre songs. For example the Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga videos are just as popular as her songs

featuring Beyoncé “Telephone” video has nothing to do with the actual song that it is portraying. They go on a Bonnie and Clyde inspired killing spree while singing about an overprotective boyfriend that keeps ringing while they are clubbing.

Many musical artists made their careers a success by using music videos. As an important part of the music industry, they not only showcase an artist’s singing talent, but also how they perform. The use of videos transformed the music industry for better and for worse. SB

Features

TheStudentBite //

Recent controversies surrounding drunk fuelled, all-night binges, property damage and public order disturbances have painted all third level students in a bad light, but Caitríona Ní Chadhain asks what can be done about it?

T

he years a student spends in college are generally regarded to be the best years of their lives. It’s a time for finding their feet, meeting new people and exploring new interests. For many, it’s the first time they’ll move away from home and take a step in the direction of the real world. Admittedly most people go a bit wild during their college years. In fairness, it’s the perfect time to get up to all sorts of malarkey you wouldn’t dream of doing when you’re that bit older. Outside of the academic side of things, college is for having a good time, living those stories you’ll tell your grandkids about and surviving on toast and noodles.

Unfortunately there are always those unwilling neighbours that must endure the loud parties and antics of college students. Again this year there have been the inevitable complaints about Charity Week shenanigans countrywide.

In Limerick, the Plassey Residents Association wrote to the Higher Education Authority regarding the University of Limerick’s Charity Week saying that students in UL are turning the Castletroy area into a “slum” with their disruptive behaviour. In a document which they also sent to all Limerick TDs and councillors and to the University’s president, Don Barry, they refer to a culture of binge drinking and poor academic records amongst UL students.

Plassey Residents Association chairman, Joseph O’Shea, complained that “whole estates have been taken over by students engaged in lawlessness that wouldn’t be tolerated elsewhere”.

University of Limerick Students’ Union Communications Officer Finn McDuffie responded to the complaint. “The complainant residents send a letter every year, and every year they mention the same thing. They’re asking the University to control private individuals.”

He explained that the Students’ Union put in place a number of steps to control students’ activities during this year’s Charity Week. They coordinated timing with Tralee IT and NUIG in order to reduce the number of students travelling to UL from other colleges to join in on the festivities, and put in place constant student patrols to break up house parties and pick up litter, amongst other things.

It’s unfortunate that these residents are confronted with the negative aspects of Charity Week, but is there really anything that can be done about it? Would calling off Charity Week solve the problem or make it worse? Facebook nowadays yields much more power than the

UN

Students’ Union or the president of a University. If Charity Week were to be called off, students would set up Facebook events for an unofficial RAG week - guaranteed. And without a student body to be held accountable it would end up a lot messier and out of control than the official event.

Residents complained of house parties going on into the early hours of the morning and couches being dragged out on to the lawn with loud music blaring. Things like this will happen in the fine weather, Charity Week or no Charity Week.

M

ost students mean no harm and are conscious of not disrupting the neighbours. But like anything, there are always those few who earn their compatriots a bad reputation. National University of Ireland, Galway, also got some bad press for their students’ Charity Week antics this year, where 37 students were arrested for anti-social behaviour. The President of the University, Jim Browne called upon the Students Union to cancel the event following a week of mayhem, which saw videos of bottles being thrown and huge fires in residential areas gain much attention online. The NUIG Students’ Union president Peter Mannin’s view on the matter is clear.

“If the Students’ Union in any particular University or IT decide to get rid of Charity Week from their point of view, what will happen is that nightclubs and other business interests in that particular town or city will end up branding a week, ‘rag week’ or ‘charity week’, and what would happen is you’d have all the unfortunate negative elements without all the benefits in terms of

fundraising and students having a good time.” The question is should Charity, or ‘RAG’ week as it was formerly known, be called off? Maynooth tried it, but the few who cause the trouble continued to cause trouble. Students will be students at the end of the day and living close to a college is bound to result in some disruption. That’s why these residents are given cheaper rent and mortgage rates. Calling off Charity Week won’t put an end to rowdiness, and would probably cause more uproar. Until blame is pointed at individuals rather than the masses, the student body as a whole will continue to look blemished under an unfairly harsh light. SB

13

14

Features

// TheStudentBite

Mr

President?

David Norris has thrown his hat in the ring for the looming Presidential Election, but does he have what it takes to become the next President? Enda Dowling and Niamh Drohan find out

Features

A

natural charmer, a champion of human rights, equipped with powerful oratory skills and an affable eccentricity. Senator David Norris certainly has a potent campaign arsenal and that’s why the bookies have made the Independent senator their favourite to next reside in Áras an Uachtaráin.

Tough opposition presents itself in the form of Labour’s Michael D Higgins. Former President of the European Parliament Pat Cox and MEP Brian Crowley have yet to make a concrete decision to run for the Aras, not discounting former GAA president Sean Kelly either. However, Norris believes that these odds and polls aren’t to be treated as gospel.

“We have had three good opinion polls in a row but politicians say when confronted with a bad opinion poll well ‘it’s only a snap shot.’ I would say this too having been confronted by good opinion polls. The game is on and everything is to win. I am an outsider because I am an Independent and my first hurdle is to get the nomination.”

Mathematically it is possible for Norris to get an internal nomination from the Seanad with the support of 20 of its members, but party loyalty could make it difficult for him to get those votes, rendering his Independent status a handicap. The Joycean scholar is also keen to reach out beyond Dublin, and is looking toward the county councils as his preferred path to nomination. Yet Norris doesn’t believe running as an Independent will hinder him, that his non-party affiliation will strengthen his cause if anything.

“I think people are experiencing political fatigue especially concerning the parties. I also believe that the Presidency is and should be above party politics and that my election would really confirm this. I have already delivered on one important matter and that is that there will definitely now be an election. It looked at one stage as if the parties were going to try to come to an agreement on a particular joint candidate but now they have to run their own.”

Many political commentators have branded the role of president as largely ceremonial these days, with the majority of its time devoted to being an ambassador of goodwill, and very little being set aside for actual decision-making. If this is the formula for president, Norris fits the bill.

“Ireland should be represented in a dignified and statesman-like manner and as an articulate with a broad and cultivated background I feel I could fulfil this role well. I have travelled, lectured, spoken, broadcast and performed in most of the major countries in the world and I am well acquainted with international audiences.”

D

espite never having held any political office outside of the Seanad, the Senator is nonetheless confident that he is up to the task, and says that he would never let his own personal opinions stand in the way of giving legal effect to a bill.

“As President one’s personal views would have to be set aside. Under the Constitution the President is quite properly to sign into effect all laws that are properly democratically and constitutionally passed by the Oireachtas. To do anything else would be a breach of the Constitution. Of course the President does have the power to summon the Council of State

TheStudentBite //

“

15

The student vote and youth vote are very important to me. I would like to think I would do well from them because I remain in touch with young people and love their company. I also share many of their ideals

and refer any Bill that he or she thinks may be unconstitutional to the Supreme Court.”

One huge demographic that was blatantly ignored during General Election canvassing was the 250,000-strong student population. The North Georges Street resident is conscious of this and is a frequent participant in college visits and debates, which should stand to him.

“Indeed the student vote and youth vote are very important to me. I would like to think I would do well from them because I remain in touch with young people and love their company. I also share many of their ideals.I very much hope young people will come out and vote in the coming Presidential election.”

The one-time English lecturer also has strong views on our current education system.

“I think third level education in Ireland is of a high standard. I am particularly proud that my own university Trinity is rated among the top 50 in the world.I am also very pleased to have spoken on many occasions in the University of Limerick, and also performed in the magnificent Concert Hall. There are particular developments in Limerick that I admire in particular the Centre for International Music.What I would like to see in education is free universal access but I am afraid in the current economic situation this is a long way off achieving that.”

Third level reform is something that has to wait until the resources are there, but more pressing matters, such as the promised reform of the Seanad, is on the lips of a lot of Irish citizens.

“I have said for the last 25 to 30 years that the Senate should be reformed. I think it is important that there should be room for a disinterested critique of Government legislation. The Senate has played an important role in amending legislation and improving it. However it should be made more democratic.”

“The most significant reform would be to re-examine all the nominating bodies to ensure that as far as possible the entire population is covered in terms of interest groups: farmers, home-makers, doctors, lawyers, trade unions etc. and then the crucial fact would be to enfranchise the ordinary members of each of these groups so that the entire country would have

”

a vote and produce people of expertise to bring their experience and intelligence to bear on legislation to ensure that as far as possible the entire population is covered in terms of interest groups. This way, the entire country would have a vote and produce people of expertise to bring their experience and intelligence to bear on legislation.”

There are two possible stumbling blocks in his way, though he considers them to be irrelevant. Firstly, there is the burning question: has Irish society progressed to the point where it is ready for an openly gay president?

“I do not see myself as a gay President but as a President who happens to be gay. I think especially with the recent election of a handful of gay TDs to the Dáil this issue is becoming less and less relevant. I also think it is very important the President should be able to unite the country rather than divide it and to represent not 10 percent but the entire 100 per cent of the population.”

S

econdly, there is a perception that Norris has been critical of the men executed in the Easter Rising, which could be problem given that the term of the presidency will encompass the centenary of the Rising. Norris is keen to put the record straight.

“The nonsense about likening the 1916 leaders to terrorists was a quote taken out of context and was something I never said. I have repeatedly said that they were men of poetic vision and idealism, while I do not approve of violence except in the most extreme circumstances. It is perfectly obvious and I have frequently said that they clearly were not terrorists.

Pearse when civilian casualties started to mount immediately cancelled the Rising in an act of extraordinary chivalry. It would be a particular matter of pride for me to be an integral part of the celebrations in 2016.”

It remains to be seen whether Norris will get his wish. With Paddy Power giving odds of 500/1 on former Pogues frontman Shane McGowan to grace the Áras, it seems nobody is being ruled out yet . SB

Features

// TheStudentBite

WASTERS?

16

Students’ Unions have been campaigning for years for student rights. But union executives have been accused of cronyism and failing to seriously engage with major issues facing students.

Niamh Drohan examines whether the unions need major reforms.

I

T’S a breezy Thursday night on March 24, and the Stables bar on campus at the University of Limerick is awash with various low-cost, brightly coloured t-shirts, each with VOTE (insert candidate here) proudly emblazoned on their fronts. The air smacks of a mixture of relief and euphoria among the crowds of supporters after a week of gruelling canvassing to a student population that largely doesn’t care about student politics. Needless to say, UL’s Students’ Union election fever has reached optimum intensity levels.

The jubilant atmosphere that seems to be almost contagious isn’t having as much of a dazzling effect on one disgruntled student though, “NEPOTISM! NEPOTISM!”, he drunkenly bellows, which attracts a laugh from his friends. Nobody else takes any notice though because he doesn’t matter, not in the general scheme of things anyway, not according to the worst-kept secret in student union politics: anonymity is the enemy. In this murky world, being a regular John Doe student in the eyes of the higher powers and their trusty supporters isn’t an option for those who see themselves destined for greater things.

It’s all about fostering the right connections, lurking around in the right places, and rubbing shoulders with the right people to get to their desired positions.

Ring a bell? It’s exactly the same way politicians get elected to the Dáil, albeit at a microcosmic level. It doesn’t exactly instill confidence, especially since our national political system has been exposed as being badly in need of reform. The extent to which Students’ Unions have been built on a culture of elitism and exclusivi-

Students protest against the re-introduction of fees at Government Buildings last year.

Pic: Brige Newman ty, serving the interests only of those who have been accepted into these VIP circles, is questionable. But one thing that is certain based on previous election results is that there is a populist voting system that favours those who are “known” to students. At the University of Limerick, no candidate running against an existing sabbatical officer has ever been elected.

Enda Gallery, a postgraduate student at UL, recently contested the presidential election, but was unsuccessful.

“There is a very apparent feeling amongst many in the student body that it is a clique. I really think that the debate on whether it is a clique or not is pointless, but if the perception exists that there is one, then that is a serious problem which needs to be fixed if the union is going to be a good representative of it’s students. I was running only to give us students a better chance both at the UL level, but also on the bigger issues in real power, where I think, to our shame we don’t have any real influence.” Gallery said.

V

ested interests in their own political careers’ is a phrase often bandied around about some sabbatical officers and those now occupying sabbatical positions in the Union of Students Ireland, notably the President of the organisation himself, Gary Redmond, who was lambasted online for appearing in a “Vote Fianna Fail for jobs” advertisement earlier this year.

Redmond recently claimed that the USI’s response to the proposed re-introduction of fees “will go down in the history books”.His organisation failed to stop a 33 percent increase in student fees,

notwithstanding allowing the protest against the proposed re-introduction of fees to turn into an embarrassing melee involving the gardaí and standing aside as cuts were made in student maintenance grants. History-making at its finest. The most important question to ask is if students across the board feel like they are not being represented properly, is it time to reform the student political system and the way election campaigns for candidates are run? Gallery seems to think so.

“I believe that in order to get the best candidates for the job elected one needs to level the playing field. The fact that candidates can spend as much as they want on a campaign obviously gives an unfair advantage to those who are already getting a full salary or who are better off in general. It creates a barrier to entry for a great candidate who is just getting by.

Some might say that this is the way in the real world, but the current real world of politics in Ireland is no model to seek to emulate.”

The prospects for reform appear unlikely. However, colleges outside the Union of Students in Ireland are in pole positions to become vanguards of a new kind of student politics.

Currently there are around 250,000 students in Ireland with no real influence or sway on any Government policies relating to third level education. If these colossal differences in sentiments could somehow be rectified with a more united approach then maybe we could legitimately challenge the legislation and cuts that will otherwise be implemented.

That, Mr Redmond, would go down in the history books. SB

Features

TheStudentBite //

Increases in the registration fees, smaller grants, part time jobs drying up.

Niamh Drohan talks about students and the economic

CRISIS

P

RIDE cometh before a fall is an often used proverb in the English language. To use this expression in terms of Ireland and the crippling financial crisis that has enveloped the country for the past two years, it would be more appropriate to say “pride cometh before a plunge into a seemingly bottomless pit of debt and despair”.

Cue eye rolling and a general feeling of disdain for yet another lengthy article about how doomed we all are. Alas, you just can’t get away from the utterly depressing statistics and percentages, or the constant babbling of economic jargon, where words such as procyclical, solvency and GDP are constantly regurgitated but have little impact in terms of actually understanding what they mean, or their relevance to Irish students, which is where we reach a stumbling block.

Although students in Ireland are aware, however vaguely, of what is going on with regard to the economy, it seems that understanding and comprehending the situation is far more difficult. It probably doesn’t help that the Irish media’s coverage has been nothing short of relentless.

Which it should be. This is one of the worst financial crises in the history of the State and it has to be reported on. However, bombarding people with information relating to things they have never even heard of day after day can quickly become tiresome, and so they lose interest. This cannot continue, especially amongst the student population. It is a complete and utter lack of understanding of basic economic theory that has gotten us into this catastrophic mess.

It is our generation that will be shouldering the responsibility in terms of kick-starting our lifeless economy. We have to begin to understand what exactly went wrong in the past so that we never make

the same mistakes again. There seems to be a perception among some, that when the light at the end of the tunnel becomes apparent we will once again re-emerge as one of Europe’s wealthiest countries, the Celtic Tiger will roar once again and the glory days of the past will be re-lived.

This “ah sure it’ll be grand” attitude also has to change; the Irish economy has been erratic in terms of the boom-bust cycles it has gone through over the years, largely due to the spending patterns pursued by previous Governments.

There are undeniable structural problems with the Irish banking system that have always existed but have never been addressed, and a permanent mechanism to change this is required.

W

hether the radical change that is required can be implemented by the new Fine Gael/ Labour coalition Government remains to be seen. The Programme for Government states that they plan on sticking to ad-

“

We have to begin to understand what exactly went wrong so that we never make the same mistakes again.

”

We ask students how much do they really know about the economic crisis Tracey Sheahan “Eh, I think I have a fair idea. I mean, the IMF is the International...Monetary Fund? Is that right?

I know in principal what they do but I wouldn’t feel confident in explaining their role in it all. I know it’s all to do with the Celtic Tiger and stuff.

And more or less this all came about due to wreckless behaviour from the banks.

justments made to fiscal policy by Fianna Fáil until 2012.

T

his gives the new Government a year of breathing space, and should the National Recovery Plan fail, they can always say it was the brainchild of the last Government.

With Ireland completely at the mercy of the IMF, they are in no position to refuse to implement any austerity measures down the line. This could spell trouble for the public sector in this country, and have a knock-on effect in third level colleges in Ireland. Reduced staff with slashed wages and a huge decrease in funding for colleges can’t be ruled out. Nothing can.

Not if the Government want to stay on target to meet a budget deficit of three percent by 2015.

Recent stress tests seem to have revealed the total cost of re-capitalising the banks to be somewhere around the seventy billion euro mark. Seventy billion euro, destined for the dark abyss, never to be seen again by the Irish taxpayers. There has never in history been such an astronomical transfer of public funds to private losses.

Too sickening to really think about. With other countries seeking bailout packages from the IMF, it looks like Ireland finally has the chance to re-negotiate the initial deal which under no circumstances can this country afford.

We as students will eventually in some way contribute to footing the bill for this bailout fund, so it is crucial that we are aware, informed and understand any developments relating to the EU/IMF package. So next time you decide to turn off the television or the radio because you’re sick of listening to another story about the banking crisis just remember it’s what your hard-earned money will be paying SB for when you’ve graduated. SB

17

Sean Walters “No I would only have a very basic understanding; to be honest I could tell you very little about the economic crisis, except to say I know it’s not good. It doesn’t really affect me too much as luckily, I still have a job, and I still get paid the same as I did before it all happened”.

William Mitchell “I study economics as one of my subjects, so I know and appreciate the graveness of the situation. But even at that I definitely don’t know as much as I should. I would say very few students really know the ins and outs except some buzz words, IMF, bailout etc, without having a clue what they really mean.”

Lieneke Hodnett “It’s bad and it’s going to take a long time to get out of it. I think people at the time of when it first started thought “oh we have had it before and we’ll get over it” but I think that this one is going to be a lot longer to get over. It is the banks that are responsible like we got a bailout of €75bn and if you look at the banks basically what they need is €75bn”.

18

Review

// TheStudentBite

A

fter years of tireless work and dedication to his music Jamie Lawson finally got his break when his song ‘Wasn’t Expecting That’ gained much well-deserved attention on the internet and spread like wildfire after being played on Today FM’s Ian Dempsey Breakfast Show.‘Wasn’t Expecting That’ is a song that would tug at even the coldest of heart strings.

It tells the story of a life spent together from start to finish; from the first encounter to a final unanticipated goodbye. Whoever said that romance is dead should listen to this song and to Jamie’s latest album. With singer-songwriters it takes that something extra, that authenticity that only comes with true talent to rise above the crowd. Jamie has this. His music is full of emotion without being overly melodramatic and when watching him perform it’s clear how much his music means to him.

Jamie wrote ‘Wasn’t Expecting That’ in Dublin last October.

The song doesn’t come completely from personal experiences, he draws from the lives of people he knows and stories he’s heard. “A lot of it is exaggeration,” he said, “I think all song writing is the same, and I know people who stuff like that has happened to.” He explained that although the song isn’t always from a personal point of view, it’s always sung from a personal point of view. “I hope people don’t think it’s a sad story, because I don’t think it is, it’s beautiful, this couple are in love, I mean the ending is just what happens in life.”

You can almost see the memories of a lost love, or thoughts of one not yet found flickering across Jamie’s face as he gets lost in every line of the song.

J

amie wrote his first song at the age of 15, but admits it wasn’t great. Since then his talents have blossomed and he’s written a myriad of songs, released three EP’s and two albums.

His latest album Wasn’t Expecting That is a re-release of his second album Pull of the Moon which was never released in Ireland, with a few extra songs including the title track. Jamie, who’s originally from Plymouth, moved to Dublin in 2005 at the advice of a friend who thought his music would be appreciated here. He worked in Tower Records in Dublin while he was here but first time around his music career didn’t take off. He moved back to his caravan by the sea in Cornwall, where he wrote more music including ‘The Touch of Your Hand’, one of the best tracks on the album. Jamie never lost faith in his music and his talents however and his perseverance prevailed eventually with his latest song which he described as ‘a new song for a new year’, captured the hearts and minds of an Irish audience. Why, like with so many other singer-songwriters was it an Irish fan-base who caught on to him first? “Well they’re stories, my songs, and I think you like your stories here, it comes from your folk tradition,” he answered.

‘Wasn’t Expecting That’ which was written in about two hours was intended for Jamie’s next album later in the year, but the songs popularity forced him to record it as a single for immediate release.

Jamie, who wasn’t able to afford the cost of bringing

his guitar on the plane when he flew over to perform on Today FM and subsequently on The Late Late Show, went straight to number one on the Irish iTunes chart and to number three in the official Irish singles chart following the release of his single. Jamie admits he has fears of becoming a one-hit wonder, but considering the reaction his latest song has gotten and that he’s soon to play a jam-packed Vicar Street it seems he’ll earn himself some life-long fans at least.

The single is remastered from the original YouTube clip, they did 20 to 30 takes of the song in studio before deciding that the original had that something extra, a rawness which couldn’t be improved on.

Musically, Jamie cites REM, Radiohead, and Mark Eitzel amongst others as influences.

When it comes to performing, Jamie lets go on stage and admits he has to ignore whoever is watching in order to immerse himself in his performance and be true to what he is singing. People often remark on his facial expressions while he sings, speaking of ‘Wasn’t Expecting That’, he said; “I don’t know what it is about that line “it was only a smile,” I can’t help it, I just start to smile, and it’s the same at the end when my face falls, I can’t help it, I hope people don’t think I’m faking it.” He spoke of Mark Eitzel being a major influence in the way he completely lets go on stage and gives the crowd all he has.

‘I Wasn’t Expecting That’, is ironically the perfect phrase to describe Jamie’s state of mind at the moment. In the space of a few weeks he’s gone from living in a cold London flat to hitting the top of the charts in Ireland.

Jamie is aware that this could be life-changing or could all fall away at any point. Either way it’s been a rollercoaster of a journey for him to this point and great things lie ahead for him. SB

Accidentally

Famous Singer-songwriter Jamie Lawson talks to Caitriona Ní Chadhain about writing bad songs at 15 and the inspiration behind his hit song ‘Wasn’t Expecting That’

Review

TheStudentBite //

19

Award-winning Irish trance DJ John O’Callaghan talks to Enda Dowling about bringing his sound global

B

efore you read this piece, please do yourself one small favour. Type the words ‘John O’ Callaghan Argentina’ into the search bar of YouTube, and click the second video. What you will see is the headline act of the Fiesta Pura Trance Festival in Crobar, Buenos Aires. The crowd have been whipped into submission by an unassuminglooking DJ, all screaming the English lyrics back in unison.

It may shock you to learn this, but the orchestrator of all this mayhem is, in fact, from Navan.

J o h n

O’Callaghan is ranked as the 16th best DJ in the world by Tranceaddict magazine, and has been described by dance legend Armin Van Buuren as the c o n tempo-

rary ‘master of trance’. The Meath man has thus far conquered the notoriously competitive testing ground of Ibiza and was the first Irishman to play Trance Energy.

H

e has achieved so much already, but Unfold could mark the beginning of a trance legacy, and according to him, a return to the style which gained him a cult following in early 2008. “I wanted to go darker with this album, back to the hard club sound people know me for. It’s always been in my blood but it seems to be missing from the last album. I feel it’s more musically varied as it generally ticks almost all the boxes, which I wanted to show my different tastes in music through”.

The mind truly boggles when in his home country, names like The Script, B’Witched and dare I say it, Richie Kavanagh ring more bells. Internationally, he has received critical acclaim, “the Don” of trance music, Paul Van Dyk, has even labelled him “one of the most exciting producers in the world today”, plaudits which the 28-year-old still can’t get his head around. “It was like getting Christmas morning every day, Ha. To know these guys were playing my tunes and hearing them on the radio was 90 percent of the buzz I needed to keep going back to the studio and develop-

ing my skills and sound. Without that kind of excitement from hearing your stuff is supported by the big guys it’s hard to keep going back, but luckily I had that support so going in the studio was never a chore”.

Undoubtedly one of the leading DJ’s in Ireland, after walking away with the top gong at the Irish Dance Music awards for the third year in a row, O’ Callaghan now feels compelled to bring along with him fellow Irish talent. “I feel very proud and also quite responsible to make sure new talent is helped through.

Without the help of Agnelli & Nelson years ago I would not have gotten many of the breaks I got so I ensure to reply to all Irish emails and promote new talent which I think can make the grade”.

I

n the first half of 2010 O’Callaghan again reached into the heartland of electronic dance with both his second artist album and the first edition of his new compilation series, containing the hit singles ‘Find Yourself’, which currently has more than two million YouTube hits. A good year by anybody’s standards, yet his highlights for 2010 revolve around Irish events. “Our Subculture events in Ireland were undoubtedly a high point in our calendar. Selling out Tripod and Lush, the two biggest clubs in Ireland was a huge feat. It was a massive buzz for us and we are moving forward in 2011 with even more events.

I can’t wait for the Button Factory on 24th April”.

For the last three years, O’ Callaghan has presented his view on all things trance through his podcast ‘Subculture’.

Sharing the name his production label, which is a sub-division of Armada Records. ‘Subculture’ airs every second Monday of the month at 5.00pm in the UK on DI.FM, and is a medium which he feels is essential to connect with the average fan. “It’s great to get new music straight to your iPod and as so many students and workers these days use public transport I imagine podcasts are the soundtracks to many people’s daily lives. It’s a pleasure for me to make these shows and know that fans actually listen, at many gigs I always get people telling me that they like it. So I will keep it up”. Plans are afoot to take ‘Subculture’ to the next level, so expect to see more Irish acts get a break. SB

Features

O Emperor front man Paul Savage talks to Brian Anglim about their Irish success, their debut album and what’s next for the Waterford quintet

18

Features

TheStudentBite //

“

Everyone wants to know whether a band fights or not but strangely enough we haven’t; nothing has gone majorly wrong to warrant a huge bust-up

21

[LEFT]: Band members Brendan Fennessy (drums), Richie Walsh (bass), Paul Savage (vocals/guitar), Alan Comerford (guitar) and Phil Christie (piano).

[BELOW]: guitarist Paul Savage.

”

Building the Empire P

aul Savage, front man of Waterford-based band O Emperor sits in the smoking area of Dolan’s pub in Limerick. He seems nervous; he fidgets constantly and seems to be the type of person that cannot sit in the one place for too long. His cream patterned shirt is not exactly what you would call stylish and he does not fit the clichéd mould of a rock star.

O Emperor is a band that simply does not adhere to such stereotypes.

Since the release of their ambitious debut album Hither Thither, O Emperor have been tipped for big things. Their sound has been compared to the likes of Radiohead, Midlake, Grizzly Bear and Pink Floyd.

Flattering stuff but Savage says that comparisons can become old pretty quickly, “Sometimes it’s OK because we listen to Grizzly Bear and we’re massive fans of Radiohead and Pink Floyd. We don’t get offended but sometimes it is just lazy journalism, some reviews are just “this sounds like this” and there’s no actual opinion and that’s really frustrating when that happens.”

Fresh from their first stint at South by Southwest (SXSW) he explains how he felt the band were received.

“I kind of expected what we got out of it, as an Irish band with no American label interest you’re essentially starting from scratch, It’s completely pot luck like there are 2,000 bands playing for four days on the same street, you could get spotted by some guy who could break you but you could just as easily go unrecognised but it’s definitely something worth doing.”

An integral part of the new wave of up-and-coming Irish musicians tipped for big things, it would be easy for O Emperor to become frustrated given the success their peers have had on the music scene outside of the country. “Well, we haven’t released our album abroad yet, even in terms of getting bigger here we need to

go abroad and have some sort of success to be able to progress even here.

“People get bored quickly, there’re only a couple of radio stations and a few television channels and you just end up saturating yourself so I think that it’s crucial that we get out of the country and get some positive praise abroad like Villagers and McMorrow.”

S

avage isn’t spiteful and talks frankly about how bands like Villagers have made the Irish music scene stronger. “It’s a very healthy scene at the moment, it’s coming back to a lot of Irish bands being pretty successful abroad. The years of Bell X1, the Frames and Damien Rice had kind of died out and there was nothing really there but because of Villagers, McMorrow and the likes of Cathey Davey there’s a spotlight back on the Irish music scene.”

O Emperor have been together in various different guises since secondary school. Paul explains the band’s new found success has not seen tensions grow among its members.

“We’ve known each other since we were like 12 or 13, everyone wants to know whether a band fights or not but strangely enough we haven’t, we still have a kind of schoolboy mentality towards each other, nothing has gone majorly wrong to warrant a huge bust up.

Even the shit nights we still kind of laugh about on the way home, even if you’re incredibly tired or pissed off at everyone else, at the end of the day we do it because its enjoyable and a bit of a laugh.”

The band’s debut full-length record Hither Thither catapulted O Emperor from solid Waterford alt band to one of the most talked about bands in the country.

The decision to sign with Universal against an independent release proved to be a masterstroke in the development of Hither Thither and the involvement of a big label didn’t result in the band pandering to the

needs of record label executives. “Strangely enough they just put us into a studio with an engineer and let us do our thing. They listened to the EP and really liked it so they knew that we were well capable of doing it ourselves. We had a really good engineer who just set us up live and let us do our thing.”

Savage explains that his expectations for how the album would be received were high. “I thought it would go down well. We were very proud of it and we thought it was a good album. We essentially lived with the album for three years and by the time we released it didn’t really matter anymore, we just wanted to get it out there and move on to the next one.”

O

ut of all the new breed of Irish alt musicians O Emperor are one of the few representatives outside of Dublin, but they do not see this as much of a stumbling block. “It’s hard to know because none of us are actually from Dublin so we don’t know if being a Dublin band would have accelerated the process or not. A lot of people have asked us before what’s it like not being a Dublin band but at the end of the day we wouldn’t know because we’re from Waterford.

“I mean there are a couple of bands that aren’t from Dublin and they do just as good but it has made us work harder because your home town becomes very small very quickly.”

Not content to play it safe, the follow-up to Hither Thither promises to explore the bands creative boundaries.

“Hopefully it’s going to be a bit of departure from Hither Thither, the new songs have a lot more going on in them, they’re much weirder but it’s hard to say at the moment what it’s going to be like but there’s definitely something there. We’ll try our best to try something different and try and push the boat out.” SB

GAA USA 22

Sport

TheStudentBite

e

in th

More and more young talented hurling and Gaelic football players are heading State-side to combine a traditional J1 working holiday with playing GAA writes Muireann Ní Chadhain

G

oing on a J1 is something every student considers at some stage of their college life; it is the perfect solution for those who cannot bear to leave the freedom and partying lifestyle behind to face another summer stuck at home.

For any GAA head, the idea of being able to pack their hurleys and football boots and play for a GAA team in America may prove to be the best part of all. The GAA are now allowing sanctions for students with a J1 Visa to play Gaelic football or hurling in any jurisdiction of the North American County Board. The application must be approved by their home club and county secretary, which means the player is not entitled to play for their own club for a minimum of 60 days from the date of which the sanction has been signed. Éanna Ó Murchú from Belmullet, Co. Mayo spent his J1 summer in San Francisco playing with the SF Celts in 2006. After completing his studies at the Dublin Institute of Technology, he returned to San Francisco in 2008 and became actively involved as a player and committee member of the San Francisco Celts. He has since become the Treasurer of the San Francisco Western Divisional Board and he speaks very highly of his time completing his J1.

“Personally I think it is an incredible experience. When I returned from my J1 I knew I wanted to live in San Francisco and pursue job opportunities there.”

Joining a club while on J1 has become increasingly popular according to Éanna. “I would say we have gotten 100-120 inquiries this year from students hoping to play with us. It is not essential for them to have played at inter-county level, but it is prefer-

Collins lifting the U - 21 Connaught trophy with his native Roscommon Courtesy INPHO

able. References from coaches are required however. You do find that like myself, some of the players do come back to play again. It is a fantastic opportunity for any young GAA player.”

Being a member of a club may also save the student money in the long run, as well as provide them with contacts to get a step ahead of other J1 goers in the all-important hunt for a job.

“We do not pay any of our players but they do receive assistance in finding jobs and accommodation. We make sure all of our players are properly looked after here.”

One player who already has a bright future ahead of him in GAA is Neil Collins. Collins completed his J1 in Boston last year, playing with Donegal Boston at the senior level. He was Roscommon’s U-21 Captain in 2010 when they won the Connaught U-21 Football Championship, and he was

also voted Man of The Match in the win over Sligo in the final. He won the Roscommon Senior Football Championships with his home club Castlerea St. Kevins in 2008 and 2009, and was also the recipient of the O’Byrne Cup and Sigerson Cup medals with DCU GAA in 2010. Collins’ experience of playing at inter-county level provided him with the perfect opportunity to play in America.

His club paid for all of his expenses, including accommodation fees, flights and the J1 visa itself. Donegal Boston also assisted him in finding work while on his J1.

Collins says playing in America is nothing like anything he has ever experienced. “The playing style is quite different; firstly it is 13-aside, so it is a more open game with only two full forwards and full backs. The style is also a bit dirtier

than at home. A lot of fighting and general dirty play goes on, and you mostly get away with it, the refereeing is very poor.”

Inter - county experience is a big advantage according to Neil. “The standard is very high; loads of top quality players are brought out to the senior teams, mainly younger players. To go to the good teams and get well looked after, you have to be an inter-county player. The senior teams have 70 percent county players in their teams, whether that be underage county or senior, they have some experience at county level.”

Club commitments may keep many on home soil this summer as the prospect of missing a championship match is unthinkable. Yet a summer in Chicago may prove too tempting for most. SB

Sport

Irish open water swimmer Chris Bryan has a gruelling training schedule and battles nature’s elements in his quest for Olympic glory. But will it be enough to assure the 20-yearold Clare man a medal in the London 2012 games, asks Róisín Healy

T

he Beijing Olympics in 2008 saw the introduction of a new event. Swimmers dive into open water and, battling the current as well as each other, swim a 10 kilometre course. What seems like madness to most is seen as a challenge by Irish swimmer, Chris Bryan.

Chris, originally from Shannon in Clare, had become bored with the individual-focus and isolation one can experience in pool swimming, and was intrigued by the more exciting sport. “A lot of people don’t like that, getting kicked and pushed. Maybe there is something wrong with me because I don’t mind a bit of that. It adds a bit of excitement to it,” laughs the 20-year-old.

Chris’ original event was the 1500m pool race, but 30 lengths of a 50m pool can be monotonous the swimmer explains. “You’re going up and down, up and down, it is somewhat boring and when you think about it, you are all separated by lanes, so nothing anyone else around me does can affect how I swim.”

Open water swimming is an entirely different event to pool swimming, Chris insists. “Nature is against you as you have to swim against currents and even greater resistance than you would

Gold TheStudentBite

23

[ABOVE]: Bryan in the water in action.

[BELOW]: The 20-year-old Clare swmmer.

Courtesy Pat Mohan / Sportsfile.

in a pool,” he explains. Pollution in the water means athletes must drink Coke after racing to kill bacteria, according to Chris. The corrosive powers of Coke are well-known; dissolving teeth in days, cleaning toilets and treating rust to name a few.

Even though the World Championship’s rules that if the water is below 16 degrees Celsius then the race cannot go ahead, in Ireland Chris has competed in temperatures as low as 11 degrees. “I had no wetsuit. The only ones to finish were me and three really fat guys, They had a clear advantage,” Chris recalls.

Open water swimming demands endurance and is obviously tough on the body. After every training session Chris has to do rehabilitation work on his shoulders. “With the amount of lengths I do, 35 strokes each length, 1000 lengths a day, it’s not normal for your shoulders, that is why after each session I do thirty minutes of shoulder and rehab work,” he explains.

Ten training sessions a week, for up to three hours at a time, leaves little time for college. The Sport and Exercise Science student has been allowed to divide his course into five years which he says helps. Still Chris’ lifestyle is hectic.

“It’s the same as a soccer player or any

of the professional athletes. I have no time; it’s like a full-time job, with terrible, terrible pay.”

For the next year Chris has an impressive race schedule; in the next few months alone he has been invited to the prestigious Great Manchester and Great London Swims, he is partaking in two European Cups, a World Cup and hopefully the World Championships in Shanghai in July.

Swimmers must swim the qualifying times for their events in the next year in order to qualify for London 2012, so the race is on for the Clare native.

For last year’s European Swimming Championships, the Irish athletes were given €12,000- except for Chris. Open water swimming is not recognised by the Sports Council yet in regards to funding according to Chris. “The minute you win anything, they’re throwing money at you and you’re thinking, this is great, but imagine where I would be now if I had gotten this two years ago.”

Irish talent in boxing, athletics and horse racing is prominent in the Olympic Games, our athletes are never too far from the podium. Chris Bryan will surely be one to watch in the next Games as the young star shows the world how tough the Irish really are. SB

Factfile

Name: Chris Bryan Age: 20 From: Shannon, Co Clare Club: Ennis Achievements 2010: • 16th European Cup • Irish 5km and 10km champion • 2nd Czech Intl 5km

Tipped for glory 24

TheStudentBite //

Sports

20-year-old Loughmore-Castleiney and Tipperary superstar forward Noel McGrath talks to Liam McDermott about inter-county commitments while being a full-time student, the upcoming championship and All Ireland glory.

T

hey say that success brings more success and this saying couldn’t be more fitting for Tipperary’s Noel McGrath. A Young Hurler of the Year award winner as well as two All-Stars and a senior All-Ireland hurling medal under his belt, it is easy to see how it applies to this young man.

The inter-county star has long been hailed as a man who has the potential to become one of his generation’s finest players, and even at this stage in his career, he looks to be making good on the hype surrounding him. Student Bite got to talk with the young player about the trials of being one of the country’s most high-

profile players while still in college and how the pressures of exams even get to people in the sporting elite.

Bursting onto the scene in 2007 for his club LoughmoreCastleiney, he starred as a 16-year-old on the team that went on to win a Munster Senior Hurling title.

Comparisons were quickly made between the young Tipp man and Joe Canning, who had made a similar breakthrough two years previously. McGrath quickly dismisses the notion that Canning’s similar rise played on his mind. “I wouldn’t have given that any thought. When I started out I was just concentrating on my own hurling. My aim was just to go out and play my best each game.”

W

ith a litany of underage All-Ireland medals, he quickly made his mark at senior level and last year he won his first senior All-Ireland under Liam Sheedy who had been the architect of the county’s success. Sheedy stepped down after the win and Declan Ryan came in, a man who McGrath who has firm faith in. “When any new man comes in he is going to bring something different to the table and Declan (Ryan) is no different. He has taken over very well from where Liam (Sheedy) left off and he has a great backroom team with him.”

He is currently studying Arts in University College Dublin and is there on a sports scholarship. There are many pressures associated with both university and inter-county competitions which, unlike most people his age, McGrath takes in his stride. “It’s all about finding the balance between your study and your training. It isn’t

easy but it has to be done, but I am really enjoying my time here in UCD.” It is a common question to ask someone with so much on his plate,”Just how do you relax at the end of the day?”

His answer is a surprisingly ordinary one from a player with such extraordinary ability. “I’m not really into music so much but I’m a big fan of television, especially Home and Away. So I would watch that every night to relax.”

With a new manager in place and so many young players on the team, expectations are high for Tipperary to retain the Liam McCarthy Cup, but McGrath feels that the race for the Championship will be as tight as ever as “there are so many teams capable of winning.”

With Tipperary producing talented young players each year to add to the already established young stars like Noel McGrath, it will be no surprise if he has a few more additions to his trophy cabinet before the year is out. SB

“

When any new man comes in he is going to bring something different to the table

”

25

Sports // TheStudentBite

Sailing away With the wind blowing in their sails, Enda Dowling catches up with University of Limerick’s windsurfing club to find out what the attraction is. which differed due to difficulty.

It was UL’s beginners that provided the solid platform from which they claimed their third straight Intervarsity Trophy in a row. Benefitting from an Egyptian foreign development trip earlier in the year, two of UL’s beginners, Terry O’ Shea and Cian Maloney placed first and second in the bronze heats, giving UL a commanding early lead with UCD’s Ruth Martin rounding of the bronze positions.

G

er Flynn, the UL captain, believes this success at bronze level reflects the whole ethos of the UL club. “We are essentially a beginners club, we have some very skilled intermediates, but the whole philosophy of our own club is to introduce as many new people as possible to the sport. I can never understand how more people don’t take part, because we are an island country, with great locations so readily accessible.” Former TCD captain, Peader Golden, finished quite a distance ahead of the rest to claim first in the silver category and the UL duo of Rob O’ Rourke and Nigel Wearen finished second and third respectively.

The gold fleet had decided to wait until Sunday to compete with the hope that some wind would come through, and luckily, it did. Conditions were much better than expected.

“

The whole philosophy of our own club is to introduce as many new people as possible to windsurfing

“

L

et it never be said that a GAA fanatic went through four years of college without experiencing a Fitzgibbon weekend in Galway or Waterford.

May we never learn that a pub stool pundit chose to spend the Easter holidays cramming for Media Discourse Analysis rather than journey to UCD for the Crowley Cup. If you get the chance to venture to your respective sports’ annual national scholarly pissup, take it with both hands. Little by little, the gloss is wearing off these ‘traditional’ college competitions to the point where, five years down the line, don’t be surprised to see the Sigerson Cup finals take place midweek, just to please the inter-county scene.

The major sports weaknesses are quickly becoming the more obscure sports’ opportunities, as proved by the college windsurfing fraternity of Ireland last month. Hundreds of students from around the country poured into the picturesque village of Downings in Donegal - the attendance a signal of the sport’s growing appeal not only on the colleges front but, nationwide too. UCD were the chief organisers of this year’s event, which took place from Friday, March 18, and included 6 different colleges; UCD, UL, Trinity and GMIT. The competition was divided up into three categories- Bronze (Beginners), Silver (Intermediate) and Gold (Senior), and consisted of slalom race events

T

wo heats were run, followed by the final using a longer and more challenging figure of eight course. UCD captain Kevin Kelly claimed the feature gold, and was followed by NUIG captain Sean Dillane with Greg McGuckin of NUIG finishing third.

There are loads of locations in Ireland to windsurf and some have received attention from the international elites in the sport, with perfect beaches and conditions scattered along the west coast. The “Red Bull Storm Chasers”, an almost cult like touring brigade of the world’s most fearless windsurfers, have twice chosen Ireland after following storms to Malin Head, and were rewarded with waves rising above twelve foot high. For the sport to truly flourish in Ireland however, it needs to attract a major international competition.

And herein lays the stagnancy of windsurfing in Ireland up until now. The unpredictable nature of our weather is a major stumbling block in attracting the international competitions to our shores - the perception is that we simply can’t compete with the more tropical countries that can consistently provide huge waves all year round.

Our colleges and universities beg to differ; due to meticulous planning and organising they have timed Intervarsities to perfection every year, with swells to rival the likes of Fiji, Hawaii and Australia. SB

26

Review

// TheStudentBite

SUMMER Film Preview

Sean Russell takes a look at the big and small films to hit Irish shores this summer

W

ith the annual Oscars ceremony finished with and the winter hangover that preceded it long forgotten, what can the average Irish moviegoer and avid film buff alike expect to see this summer? 2011 has so far been hit-andmiss. The recent Source Code and animated comedy Rango landed well with critics, while the big budget Battle: Los Angeles and a variety of rom-coms fell flat on their arses. However, the coming months are promising, offering up some rip-roaring sequels and award-fodder,

as well as a few eye-catching original releases and remakes.

The first big blockbuster comes in the form of The Hangover 2. This sequel brings the wolf-pack to Thailand where more hilarity is sure to ensue, especially with cameos from Liam Neeson and former US president, Bill Clinton, on the cards. The original released last year got the ball rolling on both Zach Galifianakis and Bradley Cooper’s careers as well as adding some sheen to Mike Tyson’s.

While the first was an unexpected hit, its sequel has lost that out-of-the-blue,

right hook essence of surprise comedies often thrive under. A lot of fans will be left disappointed if it ends up being more of the same. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is the fourth installment in the swashbuckling Disney franchise. Gone are love birds Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, in place of a fresh new cast, including Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane. It’s a hard one to call, as the third outing was met with much criticism, though the roster shake-up is a positive sign. The kids and kids-at-heart will be out in force to see Kung Fu Panda

2, which brings the lovable ass-kicking marsupial back to the big screens. The impressive vocal cast of Jack Black, Angelina Jolie and Seth Rogen return for another laugh-filled adventure. All ages will likely enjoy that one.

June sees a meatier line-up of films slated for release, with X-Men: First Class leading the lines. Matthew Vaughn, director of Kick-Ass, has the reigns over this project. The prequel takes a look at the origins of the mutants, in particular fleshing out the relationship between Professor X (James McAvoy) and Mag-

Review neto (Michael Fassbender) before they donned the helmets and became arch enemies. It’s set to the back-drop of the Cuban Missile Crisis in the 60s, with the trailer boasting a plethora of special effects to bring this era to life. Kick-Ass was a well-directed yarn that shook up the comic book scene a bit, so it’s nice to see Matthew having a crack at a series gone stale. Super 8 is a film certainly showing heaps of promise. The creative mind of J.J. Abrams (LOST, Cloverfield) takes the hot seat, and works for the first time with Steven Spielberg as producer. If that combo doesn’t whet your appetite, than few will. The film follows a group of kids in a 1979 Ohio town, filming their own movie using a Super 8 camera. They witness a catastrophic train derailment, from which something horrible survives.

Weird occurrences begin happening around the town and things kick off. The trailer is mesmerizing, showing glimpses of vintage Spielberg touches and the undoubtedly creative mind of Abrams in full flow. Whether the film will match its potential is hard to say, but it will nevertheless gross highly.

A

reboot of the Planet of the Apes franchise, abominably named Rise of the Planet of the Apes (it’s a prequel, if you didn’t guess), is driven by James Franco in the lead role, who plays a scientist.

It’ll act as a reboot of the age-old tale, spawning a series if things go well.

If July isn’t bringing us good weather, than at least it’s bringing us some good films. This month sees the release of final instalment Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II, a series which avid fans have followed with a great deal of passion and have seen its cast grow into some fine actors.

While Part I was met with mixed reviews, the second and final part promises to hold out all the stops.

Those who have read the books will know what they’re in for.

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon is the third and final instalment in the series, utilising 3D technology for the first time.

TheStudentBite //

In typical Michael Bay-fashion, and going by the previous two films, you’ll be treated to a cornea-melting amount of special effects and explosions but littleto-no story or character development.

Megan Fox has been taken out, so at least that’s a sign that Bay might take this one serious— no wait, she’s been replaced with some model. Never mind.

B

ack to graphic novel adaptations now with Marvel’s second summer offering Captain America: The First Avenger (starring Chris Evans as said captain) lined up for a late July release. Cowboys and Aliens displays the cut-throat grittiness of a western combined with the special-effects driven intrigue of a sci-fi.

The coming summer is also quietly sporting a range of tasty-looking films brandished with the ‘limited release’ tag.

Submarine, the drama/comedy receiving unanimously positive reviews, about a clever but self-absorbed 15-year-old boy trying to find a girlfriend. You may have heard of it through the soundtrack including some original Alex Turner songs. It looks to be another British masterpiece and shouldn’t be missed.

The Bang Bang Club is a true story that follows four combat photojournalists risking their lives to show the world the violence that they see during the Apartheid period in South Africa. Hesher, a film about a rude, arsenic waster (Joseph-Gordon Levitt) who changes the lives of boy TJ and his dad; and The Tree of Life, a 50’s era family drama starring Brad Pitt, about his relationship with his son-- though it’s had its release date pushed back continuously, a summer launch looks inevitable. Melancholia, the enigmatic Lars Von Trier’s haunting vision of the Earth’s cosmic demise threatening the relationship of two sisters, rounds off the list.

That sums up the summer in Irish cinema, and what a summer it promises to be. There’s a little something for everyone on offer, and more than enough to tide over the pickiest of movie buffs, at least until the film-drought that is the winter season. SB

“

Cowboys and Aliens combines the cut-throat grittiness of a western with the special effects driven intrigue of a sci-fi

”

[OPPOSITE PAGE ABOVE]:

Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms in Hangover 2.

[OPPOSITE PAGE BELOW]: The cast of the new sci-fi prequel XMen: First Class.

[ABOVE LEFT]: Daniel Craig in Cowboys and Aliens [LEFT]: Chris Evans as Captain America in Captain America: The First Avenger.

27

28

Review

// TheStudentBite

IRISH MUSIC BEYOND THE BODHRÁN Liam Corcoran gives a breakdown of today’s Irish music scene, from Two Door Cinema Club to TeaTronik

And So I Watch You From Afar guitarist Rory Friers. Pic: Kieran Frost

Review

TheStudentBite //

T

o many not so long ago, mention of the ‘Irish music scene’ would have provoked images of redfaced men howling ballads of Erin’s woe in dingy pubs, Bono strutting at Live Aid and Christy Moore abusing a bodhrán at the Portlaoise fleadh. Ireland did have great acts, from the ethereal early 90s shoegaze ensemble My Bloody Valentine to blues legend Rory Gallagher, but live alternative music was never as accessible as it was in the UK. Thankfully, things have changed dramatically in the past few years and now Ireland proudly boasts a thriving independent alternative music scene. A swarm of newly enthusiastic musicians, supported by several hard-working independent record labels, such as the Richter Collective and Popical Island, has meant that Irish fans have probably never had such a varied choice of home-grown talent. And it’s not just at home that these bands have been awing audiences and impressing critics. Performances from James Vincent McMorrow and Wexford instrumentalists Adebisi Shank at last month’s South by South West music showcase in Texas received glowing global attention and shifted focus yet again to the quality of Ireland’s music.

A brilliantly messy network of genres, from bedroom-produced electronica to elaborate live math rock has flourished alongside acts which have proved successful on a more international and mainstream level, such as Mercury Prize nominated Villagers and Two Door Cinema Club, whose

2010 album Tourist History has sold over 100,000 copies in the UK. Release wise, there’s plenty to look forward to in the next few months, from the unleashing of Northern post-rock stalwarts And So I Watch You From Afar’s second album, Gangs, in May, to the follow-up to last year’s internet sensation The Cast of Cheers’ debut album. The latter band epitomise the energy and innovation of new Irish bands, with their album Chariot shortlisted for the Choice Music Prize last month after it was released as a free download in February 2010. Another highly anticipated LP arrival is that of Dublin band Squarehead’s, who have been dripping a steady string of excellent singles for the past few months.

With the increasing spread of broadband across the country, the reach of independent artists’ music has never been greater.

It’s obvious that a healthy scene encourages more good music, and new acts seem to be constantly emerging, indicating that the future of Irish music is in good shape. Indie-pop act Yeh Deadlies are an example of one group worth listening out for in the coming months as they look to capitalise on the positive feedback to their March album The First Book of Lessons, which bounces joyously across 14 catchy and hook-laden tracks. Meanwhile, one band on the way into the recording studio are Cloud Castle Lake, who have built a solid reputation for themselves following performances at the Electric Picnic and collaborations with the Trinity College Orchestra. Their

debut LP is expected the other side of summer. We Cut Corners are another Dublin group whose first album release later this year should see them receive more attention later this year.

On the electronic front, it seems as though 2011 is going to be a golden year for Irish releases, following on from a well-represented 2010, which saw quality releases from Solar Bears, Ang Kor Wat and Somadrone. Kildare Leaving Cert student Jack Colleran, aka Moths, has received much online attention in the past few months after he posted a handful of self-produced and perfectly crafted slices of electronica tracks on his Soundcloud.

While he will have slightly more pressing concerns on his mind in the next few months, it’s clear that Colleran will be making interesting music for a long time to come. Also in the electronic fold is Dublin DJ Frank Sweeney, who produces under the name Bingo.

Sweeney has been responsible for several luscious garage/dubstep tracks over the past year, leading to favourable comparisons with the likes of British genre-definers Jamie xx and Mount Kimbie. Another self-made producer is Toby Kaar of Cork, whose bassy remixes have gained him a loyal and deserved fan base. TeaTronik are also a group whose luscious electronic rhythms and ear-catching vocals make them a worthwhile listen.

With music venues featuring the likes of the above plus many more on a regular basis, there’s never been a better time to have your ears wowed by Irish music.

Irish Music online Sites

• nialler9.com • harmlessnoise.wordpress.com • state.ie

Musicians

• • • •

soundcloud.com/mmoths squarehead.bandcamp.com teatronik.com thecastofcheers.bandcamp.com

29

30

Review

// TheStudentBite

Portman butt only appeal

DVD ses ea

l e R

The long awaited sequel to 1982 science-fiction cult classic Tron is set in an elaborate digital world. The story picks up with Sam Flynn(Garrett Hedlund) looking for his missing father. He gets pulled into Tron and tries to defeat evil leader of ‘The Grid’, Clu. Worth a watch.

Your Highness is a royal failure jammed with crass toilet humour and bum gags Liam Gleeson

Your Highness (Universal) 16 IF YOU’RE a lover of quality comedy then go and find some.

However, if you’re just looking for some smutty and often camp innuendos, together with light titillation and topped off with a weed smoking wizard, trading his secrets for masturbation, then this film could be right up your ally (pun intended).

Like a light porn version of a Lord of the Rings quest crossing swords with the merriment of Monty Python, Your Highness follows the antics of gallant Prince Fabious (James Franco)

and younger brother Thadeous (Danny McBride, Francos costar in Pineapple Express), as they battle for Fabious’ stolen bride-to-be, Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel), who has been kidnapped by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux).

Thadeous has always lived in the shadows of his older brother. While Fabious was away slaying demons to please his father, Thadeous was being sentenced to death for molesting a midget. But he gets a chance to prove his worth when his father orders him to accompany his brother and a team from the Knights Elite on the quest to rescue Belladonna before she is shamed and deflowered by Leezar.

Mary Sweeney

Betrayed by their team of knights, the two brothers along with Thadeous’s penis-headed man friend Courtney, (Rasmus Hardiker), find help in the guise of Isabel (Natalie Portman, Black Swan).

Co-written by McBride himself along with Ben Best and directed by David Gordon-Green, also director of Pineapple Express, this movie should be taken with a pinch of salt, just like the smutty script and the sexual puns. The casting works well with both Portman and Franco making the transition to crass with ease.

The magnificent Northern Ireland backdrop and some good special effects teamed with Portman’s behind in a G-string

should be enough to keep most people in their seat until the credits roll.

Your Highness won’t challenge the brain or leave you mystified and perplexed by a complicated storyline. It’s more a film to make you chuckle like you did as a pubescent teen when even the stupidest of words uttered in a certain context could make your face redden in seconds.

Not able to get, sorry to give the end away, Portman’s character, Isabel, leaves it wide open for the second coming of likable Thadeous. But the key to a good film should be a good script and not the pun count.

War never Gets burnt on really begins home straight Francis Dunne

Tomorrow: When the War Began (Paramount) 12A Tomorrow: When the War Began, an adaption from a John Marsden novel, follows a group of teenagers from a rural Australian village as their lives are shattered by an unexpected invasion from an unknown nation.

The story begins with best friends Ellie (Caitlin Stasey) Rachel Hurd-Wood as Corrie Mackenzie

and Corrie (Rachel HurdWood) going on a camping weekend. The pair return to find their homes abandoned and the town imprisoned by a foreign army at the local fairground. This movie had a lot of unrealised potential. What could have been an exciting affair turned out to be somewhat disenchanting. The premise was unrealistic. A country dropping half a million troops on another country is the type of thing one cannot keep a secret.

The establishment of the characters took so long that there was little time left for the actual war.

With more novel adaptations in the series due to be made, we can only hope that there is a vast improvement. A little more Mad Max, and a lot less Aussie soap opera please! SB

Tron Legacy

Niall O’Sullivan

Rubber (Magnolia Pictures)

15A The mere idea of a horror film based on the violent rampage of an inanimate object would be a hard pitch to swallow. But this is exactly what has been done.

Quentin Dupieux’s 2010 film Rubber is a bizarre horror about the psychotic killing spree of a murderous tyre named Robert.

The film opens as a police officer emerges from the trunk of a car. He talks to the audience, giving a brilliant monologue on the virtues of “no reason”. We now view the movie from two perspectives, that of Robert and a group of tourists who are watching the same film viewed by the audience, only with their bizarre commentary and chat-

ter thrown in for good measure.

Robert is unable to offer any dialogue (for obvious reasons) but it can explode objects and people with some kind of psychic energy.

After Robert is shunned by the female driver of a passing car, he becomes enraged with lovelorn hatred and the carnage ensues. Although this does sound like an exercise in imaginative and wacky horror filmmaking, it is altogether better suited to a short film than an 80 minute feature. Near the end the viewer loses interest in the movie as it begins to seriously lose steam.

Although a great concept, the lack of material for the length of Rubber means that it’s doomed to be a ‘good’ horror, rather than the cult classic it could have been. SB

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest This subtitled Swedish adaption of the final novel wraps things up rather nicely for fans of the series. The eversuffering Lisbeth Salander seeks justice and exacts revenge on the men who have harmed her for years. Strong acting keeps this thriller from becoming tedious. An American version of the trilogy is on the way.

Amy Grimes

Little Fockers The third instalment of the series sees the Focker family being faced with all the temptations and mishaps that come with family life. But even with Jack’s heart scares and Greg being seduced by his colleague there remains no real point to the plot of the film. The Focker in-laws only make cameo appearances in a truely embarrasing end to the trilogy

Kate Doyle

Voyage of the Dawn Treader With Peter and Susan all grown up, Lucy and Edmund Pevensie are joined by their horrid cousin Eustace as they are pulled into an adventure to find seven magical swords.

The film maintains the standards of the previous two Narnia movies and is a must- buy on DVD.

Francis Dunne

Review

TheStudentBite //

Foos fight back Wasting Light a fan-pleaser Foo Fighters: Wasting Light (RCA Records) Mike Gilmore Since their formation in 1994, The Foo Fighters have released seven albums, with each gaining more success than the previous one. They have evolved over time from Dave Grohl’s grunge roots of Nirvana to a stadium-filling rock band

known for their anthemic rock songs which seem to appeal to larger audience each time they release a recording. Latest offering, Wasting Light, is no different.

Bringing back former second guitarist Pat Smear and having Butch Vig (producer of Nirvana’s Nevermind album) producing the album, you get a feeling that this album is going to be special.

With excellent songs like ‘The Best Of You’ or ‘Learning to Fly’ and record chart topping ‘The

Pretender’ in your repertoire what angle do you take next so as not to repeat yourself?

Seemingly, Dave Grohl and co knew where to direct the band.

They had the vision of taking a relaxed approach and enjoying what they were doing, instead of stressing out trying to release more of the same, which rarely pays off (a horrible approach taken by most popular bands).

Going at their own pace, the band recorded the album out of Grohl’s Virginia home studio.

The band recorded the album on analogue tape which seems like a jump back to an old style to harness a sound we had discarded as history. This whole confident and comfort ideology has paid off massively; the album has a wide range of excellent sounds like the opening track ‘Bridge Burning’, showsing off a fantastic punk-like sound which is sure to get a few speeding tickets for people listening in their cars.

Also the head-banging ‘White Limo’ shows a refined grunge, brought to reality by returning guitarist Pat Smear, which will certainly create a few dangerous situations in mosh-pits at their live shows. But that is not all there is to the album, and the flowing melodies of songs such as ‘Rope’ and closing song ‘Walk’ will having fans singing along everytime.

All in all this album is a testament to the work ethic of Grohl and his merry band, time and time again releasing substancefilled music that is always good whether it be a bit of fun at a party or a wild gig surrounded by sweat-addled maniacs banging their heads. SB

Wedged somewhere between Lady Gaga and Lily Allen, Jessie J has been lauded as the heir to the kooky pop diva throne. Her new album Who You Are, however, leaves a lot to be desired.

The whole album seems to be scattered and disjointed, with the songs on the album ranging from her Rhianna-esque breakthrough single ‘Do It Like A Dude’ to ‘Big White Room’, a soulful stripped-down live recording. Jessie J undoubtedly has a powerful voice and a large range, but her addition of strange vocal gimmicks and constant note-hopping is sometimes difficult to listen to. ‘Price Tag’, her second single is especially catchy but is let down by poor lyrics and the occasionally annoying aforementioned vocal gymnastics. ‘L.O.V.E.’ and ‘Abracadabra’ are two shining lights on the album, the latter a great upbeat funky song where her vocals are properly tamed.

The former is an R’n’B attempt

Jessie J : Who You Are (Lava)

in which her voice is just about saved from going into unlistenable territory and comes off as very powerful. Overall, the album looks like a rough collection of songs, which although showing plenty of promise far and above her peers, simply are too unorganized and feel more like a sketch of an album. SB

Liam Corcoran For the past few years, Panda Bear, aka Noah Lennox, has been at the centre of an alternative music universe known as Animal Collective. As a key member of that much-lauded band, he has been an important influence on the formation of their distinctive sound.

The characteristic of that sound was cemented in the sprawling success of their last album, Merriweather Post Pavillion, which certain critical quarters greeted as being near to the most important thing to happen to music since the arrival of the electric bass.

In pursuing solo projects, members of the band seem to be happy in creating the same sort of record to their joint Animal Collective work. Bandmate Avey Tare’s 2010 album Down There treads the same weird electronic path as a lot of the instrumentals on AC’s work, and Tomboy still seems to be obviously from the same

Ke$ha

ases e l e R

Blow

Kesha has proved herself to be a wordsmith of the highest merit with her latest single. Believe it or not this song could in fact be her sixth consecutive top ten U.S hit if sales go as predicted. There seems to be no valid reason for the song’s existence.

Enda Dowling

Gorillaz Revolving Doors Revolving doors is an interesting blend of light Spanish nylon strings, synthesizers and haunting vocals, mixed with that little dash of crazy that Damon Albarn always seems to bring. The song is more reminiscent of his Blur days and definitely worth a download.

Stephen Scully

J’s voyage of Delightfully self-discovery fuzzy stuff Niall O’Sullivan

Single

31

P a n d a Bear: To m b o y (Paw Tracks)

stable as Merriweather Post Pavillion. This is not a bad stable to be from however, and Tomboy, which has been coming in drips for an awful long time, does not disappoint with fuzzy harmonies and deep, almost religious, synth overtures which adorn nearly all the tracks. From the huge chorus of opening track ‘You Can Count On Me’, to the hypnotic melodies of ‘Drone’, Tomboy strikes a sweet balance between subterranean repetition and accessible vocals. After 11 tracks of droning and chant, some listeners may grow weary of the album, but then again, Panda Bear’s music has always been stuff to return to later. A maze of sound, Tomboy is up with some of the best of Animal Collective’s work. SB

Dangermouse Two Against One Jack Black’s distinctive voice turns this dark melody into a haunting little number. Featuring some sweet yet slightly creepy harmonies, this song is sure to have you glancing over your shoulder when it comes on the head-phones. Its brevity suits the song and you’ll be humming the catchy chorus.

The track is featured on Dangermouse’s ‘Rome’ project.

Mary Sweeney

Britney Spears ‘Til The World Ends Britney Spears rocketed to fame due to her ‘innocent schoolgirl’ image and her glossy pop hook vocals. Thirteen years later and it’s all gotten a bit tired. ‘Til the World Ends’ is the latest single off her new album and it indicates that Britney as pop princess may have morphed into Britney as pseudo-dance producing monster. Best heard drunk, or muted.

Liam Corcoran

32

Fashion

// TheStudentBite

Colleen College: LSAD Fave Item: Brogues Fave Shop: Beyond Retro (London)

Darren College: GTI Fave Item: Ray Bans Fave Shop: Origin

Craig College: UL Fave Item: Suit Fave Shop: River Island

Aoibheann College: NUIG Fave Item: T-shirt Fave Shop: Topshop

STUDENT STYLE ON THE STREETS

Cathy & Cillian College: UL & UL Fave Items: Jacket & Tie Fave Shops: Penneys & Burton

Saoirse & Ciara College: UL & UCD Fave Items: Their dresses Fave Shop: Zara & Urban Outfitters

Imelda College: UCC Fave Item: Skirt Fave Shop: Zara

Beibhinn College: GMIT Fave Item: Harem Pants Fave Shop: Penneys

TheStudentBite //

Fashion

e l y t s e f i l e Th h s i l y t s e h t f o Nicole Malmberg

I think you become more serious as the years go by and realise that there are other things to convey to the world.” In a year he will have his masters in journalism and that is when the serious job hunting begins. “I’m going to force my way into an editorial office and steal someone’s job”, he laughs, continuing by stressing the importance of education: “Anyone can write, anyone who has something to say. And everyone has something to say.

But, I think a person with an education is taken far more seriously. That’s why this education is so important to me; it helps me reach my goal.”

So what is Goran’s advice for young people who want to pursue a career in fashion and journalism? “You have to believe in yourself. When things are going well you can’t relax and become lazy. When things go badly you can’t give up. Many people think that in order to succeed you have to have a huge ego, but that’s not it. I know that it’s all about will power and not being limited by your own fears. If you want something you have to make sure you get it. And I think the human being is smart enough to figure out how to do this. Whether it is fashion or journalism you want to pursue, deep down inside you know what you have to do to reach your goal.” SB

Running around town to pick out clothes for photo shoots one day and being glued to the school desk the next – Goran Perkovic’, 21, reveals both the latest fashion trends and the beauty of studying.

“I always knew that my calling in life was to write and to mediate things to people. Writing is a big passion of mine and I want to influence and inform with what I write.” Goran Perkovic’ speaks in elaborated ways and he rarely hesitates. He is determined, a characteristic that comes in handy when you need to get somewhere in life. Coming from a small town in south west Sweden, he made a decision to leave friends and family and move to Stockholm after finishing high school. After almost three years of journalism studies and remaining eager to get into the fashion industry, dreams are finally taking shape for Goran. Having styled four covers of the magazine Nöjesguiden, being a regular fashion show-goer and keeping his own blog (goranperkovic. com) are all platforms for his creativity.

Goran has always displayed a keen interest in fashion. He recently styled yet another cover for Nöjesguiden featuring Swedish singer Veronica Maggio wearing a mix of dots and stripes. He practically bursts when being asked about this season’s trends; bright colours, white, prints, seventies, clean lines and tailored suits. “That’s what’s so fantastic about this season, it seems anything is possible!” After revealing a million and one different ways of styling this season, he finally decides upon three key trends for women: “A pair of white wide pants, heels with a pointy toe and a striped top.” He mentions designers like Prada, Gucci and Givenchy as great sources of inspiration this spring and summer and adds that with the colours going crazy this season, it is a good idea to tone down the accessories.

Mr F

on ashi

elf

hims

Goran might also be his own best client when it comes to styling, carefully deciding what to wear every day. If you bump into him this spring, he will probably be wearing a slim, tailored suit jacket in a fun colour (perhaps dotted), tailored shorts and Roman, not Greek sandals. Getting the details right is the difference between a success and a train wreck.

Acne S/ S 2011

But it is not all about fashion for this young go-getter: “In a few years I might want to do something a bit more serious, like investigative stories.

stic a t n a f s so ’ t a h w “That’s it , n o s a e is s h t t u o ab ble” i s s o p g is n i h t y n seems a

33

S g S/ Ljun

2011

34

Fashion

// TheStudentBite

Start investing in items now that will take you through the seasons, writes Emily Maree

I

t is barely summer yet and already we’re craning our necks to see what the autumn/winter collections have in store for us this year. We may still be investing in flip-flops and bikinis but in the current economic climate, we have to think and plan a little bit more to stretch our money. This means getting a little extra bang for your buck by buying clothes that are fashionable, affordable and durable across the 2011 period from summer to winter.

The best idea is to get some key staples that will transcend summer into winter without too much effort.

When in doubt, looking at the season’s runway collections is always the best way to go. Autumn/Winter 2011 has a couple of key trends to follow that can be used for summer as well. The design ranges showcased at London, Paris, Milan and New York Fashion Week are usually great indicators of what will be in fashion and comparing them to this season will show you how to pick out the looks that will work in your favour.

According to the A/W collections, the predictions are quite simple: floaty blouses, suit pants, palazzo pants and midi-skirts. All these items are not only featured in the summer collections but transition into winter to brighten things up a bit. Fashion houses across the world, even ones like Chanel who usually play it safe

with black, white and charcoals, are creating lines that incorporate splashes of colour to brighten the dull and dreariness of the winter months.

Chanel has gone back to doing what it does best this season; suits. The look is very Parisian and the charcoals and black that had been put outside like an insolent dog have been brought back in but with a difference. Instead of creating the ultimate power suit, they have designed a more feminine suit which teamed with a floaty blouse is the perfect work staple. These floaty blouses, when worn with skirts or shorts in the summer, are both professional and flirty, giving a much needed explosion of colour into your day.

P

alazzo pants are huge this season and won’t fall out of fashion too quickly. Almost like a marriage between ankle length skirts and loose trousers, design houses have been falling over these palazzo pants and they’re holding out for winter! New designers on the block, Suno, managed by Max Osterweis and Erin Beatty, are bringing out a range of print palazzo pants that will not

only be cooling in the summer, but will be a great fashion choice through winter, teamed with a leather jacket and ankle boots.

Midi-skirts were a new phenomenon this season but the idea of the longer skirt won’t be leaving as fast as it arrived. A lot of high-end designers, especially Jonathan Saunders, have become fans of the lengthier skirt as the ‘new sexy/refined’ revolution is making itself known. The midiskirt has become so popular due to its versatility and the chances of it becoming a faux pas any time soon are slim.

Having these staples in your wardrobe will help you glide effortlessly from summer to winter and create a look that is fresh, fun and stylish.

High street stores will be full to the brim of these looks and you can always get them on a budget when you look in the right places. SB

LSAD promises host of new design at fashion show

By Sinead O’Grady THE Fashion studio in the Limerick School of Art and Design was messy, out of control, and provided a kaleidoscope of colour. It was a challenge to concentrate on the mosaics of ideas on display.

There were mannequins everywhere, the designers almost camouflaged.

Stress levels are extremely high as the budding designers frantically prepare for their Graduate show in May. The third and fourth year students from LSAD showcase their collections on May 19 in the LSAD gallery. The show will concentrate on both women’s wear and menswear, featuring street style,

day style, evening-wear and knit-wear.

Inspirations vary from the Human Form to The Black Swan. Twenty budding designers will showcase on the night.

The couture students already have an impressive array of achievements under their chic belts. They have shown continuous success throughout the years and this year is no exception. They dominated the competition at the Triumph International Awards, taking home 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, which means they will compete at an international level in Berlin this coming June. LSAD also won the RDS craft competition, Crafts council of Ireland Future makers Award, The Fashion Innovative Student Designer of

the year Award and The Gillette Dress competition. Also this year LSAD Fashions students are finalists in the Persil competition, The Golden Egg Fashion Innovative Awards, DIT, DCU and The Future Makers. It is clear these are truly creative and skilled designers. LSAD are known for their professional manner and have gained experience with internationally recognised designers like Vivienne Westwood and Alexander McQueen.

The judging panel for this year’s Fashion Show includes last year’s winner Sarah Melody, retail & fashion consultant Eddie Shanahan, and Julie Lawton, AIB’s SME Specialist based in Limerick

City. The prize includes a bursary of €2,500 to help launch the winners fashion career.

The Miriam Mone Commemorative Award, worth €1,000 will also be presented on the night to the collection that displays exceptional excellence in tailoring and a special LIT award of €1,000 will be offered for best use of fabric.

The LSAD Fashion Show takes place on the 18th of May in the University Concert Hall Limerick. Tickets cost €30 and are available from The Belltable Arts Centre. Unfortunately there are no student discounts, but it promises to be an event simply not to be missed in the industry calendar. SB

TheStudentBite //

Fashion

Girls

Karolina Arenhall

This was supposed to be a piece about Irish lads and their fashion sense; or rather lack of it. I’ve lately been starting to fear that I might dig my eyes out if I see another pair of sweatpants teamed with a cardigan. My Swedish girls and I had a serious conversation about what has gone wrong with all of the guys asses, only to realize that they are all victims of ill-fitting jeans in washes that should have stayed in the 90s. Here’s a newsflash for you: too-short boot cut jeans in a light blue was will only make you look short and bulky. Whoever told you otherwise deserves a shot between the eyes.

on guy’s n o i h s fa

Liam McDermott

35

Studen t Fashio n

Truth be told (and I’m probably going to regret saying this) you Irish boys have something our Vikings back home lack: personalities so mesmerizing that I think all of us for a second are willing to overlook the fact that you’re wearing the same sort of pants as our four-year-old cousins (elastic waistline anyone?). While my boys at home rely on fancy packages in order to get the girl, you are all about getting her to laugh. And although just the thought of slim jeans or slick chinos paired with fitted shirts and gorgeous cardigans makes me drool a bit, I guess a night of laughter is worth more than how good your date looks. There won’t be much action if both parties put all of their efforts into hanging by the bar trying to look hot.

Spending most of your waking time looking as if you have just rolled out of bed and put on whatever was within reach just doesn’t work.

It’s not as if you Irish lads don’t have it in you, I’ve seen you all dolled up for Race-day looking ridiculously hot in suits and nice shirts.

Dressing casually is where you fail. So if you want to make a Swede happy (and perhaps get your game up a notch or two) can you just promise me three things?

Firstly step the hell away from those sweatpants. There are only two places I want to see them, a) at the gym or b) at home when we’re chilling out in the sofa. Not in class, not on a date, and definitely not in a pub or (awful thought) out in a club. Secondly don’t fall for the “slim-jeans are gay-jeans” thinking. Truth is, they will only make your ass look hot.

Also the darker the shade the nicer the ass so ditch the lighter ones. Finally, nothing beats a fitted shirt. Denim, cotton, flannel all works as long as it’s a good fit.

And yes, they work for daytime too. And no, the shirt and tie combos you find in Dunnes do not count.

So that’s that. Now if you excuse me I’ll have to dig my eyes out, because clearly the guy just walking passed hasn’t paid any attention to tip number one. SB

s y on girl’ u s fashio G n

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” A very apt quote from Mr Oscar Wilde is as valid as ever.

Fashion, like making love, is easy to learn but impossible to master so it’s no wonder some women get is so wrong.

There isn’t one woman’s item of clothing that isn’t one of the following: hideous, unflattering and overpriced. I’m going to pick out some articles of clothing that should be banished back into the degenerate closet from which they came.

Statement T-Shirts: If you ever find yourself in a t-shirt that has more to say than you do, you need to have a good long hard look at yourself. Do you think Kate Middleton got herself in line for the throne by wearing a top that says, ”Hot Chick” or “People call me a bitch like it’s a bad thing”. She bloody well did not. On the off chance that you will have to wear an item like this (the only valid reason is if you are wearing it ironically)

please make sure it is grammatically correct. Nothing worse than a deluded girl strutting down the street not knowing she is missing an apostrophe. Remember the gold rule, being a “Hot Chick” is a lot like being powerful; if you have to tell people you are then you aren’t.

Converse: I’m going to drift into the dangerous waters of casual sexism here but Converse are not for girls.

Men cannot wear any of the following; stilettos, Ugg boots, knee-high boots and thigh-high boots. Basically we can’t wear a boot unless it has a steel capped toe or we are in a boy-band.

Converse represents the final thing that looks better on a man than it does on a woman, the final bastion of masculine apparel. I would have fully supported people like the Suffragettes and Emily Pankhurst. If you want to be anti-establishment do what they did; burn your bra and chain yourself to some railings. Don’t conform to being a non-conformist.

Tracksuits and Pyjamas: There is a growing trend among young women to go to college looking casual. Track-

suits are for the running track, so unless you are aiming for London 2012, brighten yourself up. I can’t understand why women don’t dress up for college and put some make-up on, if only out of politeness. On a side note, never wear pants that have the phrase “Juicy” etched across the posterior. If you have a nice bottom, rest assured that it won’t go unnoticed.

Otherwise it’s best not to draw attention.

Pyjamas are also a massive no-no.

They should be made illegal outside the bedroom. If you have to go outside the door to get the post, daily paper or clean up after your defecating dog then wear a nightgown, they were created for such occasions.

Leather/Wet-look leggings: Finally, the last piece of advice I can give on what not to wear. Unless applying for a position as Batman’s S&M sex slave then don’t wear leather. The only thing leather goes with is social ostracism.

How not to look ridiculous: Jeans are like the universe and time, they are eternal. No one will ever criticise

you over jeans.

M a r i l y n Chief of the fashion police Monroe had style to burn and realised that dresses suit any occasion.

In the summer, bright colours are splendid but don’t go overboard. Tread the thin line between summery colours and highlighter-attack victim very carefully. On a final note, ignore everything that has been said here if the only outfit you find yourself comfortable in is a self-aggrandizing t-shirt, pyjamas and crocs. Just know you will be a social outcast.

P.S. Avoid bright red lipstick at all costs, you are not Ronald McDonald. S SB SB B SB

36

Fashion

// TheStudentBite

TIME TO DIVE IN

Whether you’re off to Lahinch or Lanzarote this Summer you’ll want to show off your style. Looking effortlessly awesome while still being comfortable is no easy task, especially when you factor in sand, sea and unreliable Irish sun! Amy Grimes explains how to get the best beach look for you.

RESORT ROYALTY

SCREEN SIREN

New

99

€29.

Look

There are plenty of nifty little 1950sstyle swimsuits and bikinis around these days so if you feel like rocking polka dots and high-waisted bottoms you’re in luck!

Why: Great for any girl who wants to hide a bit of tummy while showing off cleavage, retro bikinis emphasize an hourglass figure.

Where to get it: Penneys have a tonne of floral or spotty bikinis with higher waists and halternecks. If you feel like splurging, ASOS.com offer some great ‘vintage style’ swimwear. If you feel like a treasure hunt, try E-bay for some real vintage pieces.

Wear with: Work your inner Marilyn Monroe with a water-proof red liptint. Keep the 50s vibe in your accessories, with a floppy wide-brimmed hat, sunglasses with a cat-eye shape and a straw beach bag.

Maybe you have the money to go somewhere tropical or maybe you just want to look like you do. Rich jewel-toned swimwear with embellishments or eye-catching cutouts will show off your confidence, among other things.

Why: If you have a straight figure you can afford to go wild with embellishment. Think ruffles, lace, buckles or rhinestones. Frills at your bust or hips help create the illusion of curves, if that’s what you’re after.

Where to get it: River Island have a lot of barely-there, piece-of-string contraptions. They manage to count as swimsuits while revealing more than most bikinis. If you can manage to get into them without tangling yourself up, well done!

Wear with: Confidence. And lots of it.You don’t have to be a size 8 to look sexy but showRiver Island ing a lot of skin looks silly if you’re uncomfortable. €51.50 Waterproof mascara is handy too.

MISS MODEST For those who want more modesty, boring navy swimwear is a thing of the past as full-coverage can be cute. Ditch your sarong for colourful patterned swimsuits.

Why: Maybe you don’t feel like exposing yourself to the harsh Irish elements or perhaps you’d like to be safe in the knowledge that you won’t have any slip-ups (or slip-outs). If you want to make your legs look like they go on forever, go for swimsuits with a high cut on the leg openings.

Where to get it: Thankfully cute swimsuits have hit the high-street. Try Dunnes, Penneys, New Look, anywhere really. If you have €200 lying around Juicy Couture have a charming floral offering.

Wear with: Rayban-style shades and a bright tote. Give yourself a manicure with pastel lime, neon pink or sky blue for an extra bit of awesome.

FOR THE FELLAS

0

1.0 on €6

Monso

Patterns are in this season for girls and guys and if you want to show that you’re up to speed, get some board shorts. Guys, you can be stylish too. Please, just put away the navy shorts.

Why: Because board shorts aren’t teeny tiny Speedos.

And really, anything’s better than a banana hammock.

Where to get it: Brands like Billabong and Ripcurl are the trendsetters but if you haven’t got the cash for surfer-brands, try the high street.

Wear it with: Surfer beads. They do magical things for your pulling ability. You can thank me later. Leave the reflective wraparound sunglasses at home and get some less intimidating shades.

SB

Next

0

€33.0

TheStudentBite //

Student Bites

e c n a t s i d a t love a L

Vanessa Dion ong distance rela tionships are no t typically desira try, whatever it ble, however it se takes to maintai ems that these da n a relationship. selves and their ys’ people are will A lot of people sh significant other. ing to do, or at le y away from the But is distance a Sharon Hoag (Canad ast id ea of putting dist go od en a) and Sanna Kallstro ough reason to ca an ce between them es. Conveniently, wh m ll (S it we qu de its n) ? have both put dista ile Sharon studies at nce between themse UL, her boyfriend Pe Starting a relationsh lve s an ter d their boyfriends fo is studying in Lond ip knowing that the r educational purpos on. “We’re actually distance will be an “pretty convinced th closer here than we obstacle is very diffe at we’d work it out,” are at home,” Shar re nt from suddenly be and it appears that the same in the end.” on says. ing apart after bein they have. In her op g close for so long. inion, it’s ok to “put Those involved don’t Sanna was [the relationship] on believe they are tes the edge and see if ting each other, rath However, there is a you feel er giving one anothe limit to distance. De r some space and a clan Sweeney of UL factor “depends on ch , believes that long ance to grow. how strong the relat distance relationsh ionship is.”

As successful as Sh ips “wouldn’t work aron and Sanna ha indefinitely” and th ve proved their relat ginia) tried studyin e determining ionships to be, lon g in London last au g distance relationsh tumn, leaving a boyfr sive,” Morgan says. ips don’t always wo iend of a few month “He didn’t want me rk out. Morgan De s back home. “He wa to go out or make fri Morgan broke it of an (Virs possesends.” After a few m f. on th s of feeling unhappy, How do you succes sfully manage the di stance? Constantly popular way to chat keeping in touch. Sk with sweethearts, bu ype tends to be the t texting and phone On the bright side, most calls are popular wh all this talking can en you’re close enou strengthen the bond You will miss stuff gh. be tw ee you didn’t think yo n long distance lov ers. u’d miss, but this isn someone for a long ’t necessarily a bad period of time, you thing. After being may start to take ce missing things you with rtain things for gran weren’t expecting to ted . By , you will appreciat are reunited. So if e them more when you’re looking at a you potential long dista important to remem nce relationship, it’ ber that you and yo s ur relationship will the experience. SB gain a lot from

e f i l r o f e v lo Robyn Gleeson not. But what e to admit it or lik d e’ w vice er th he ? Here’s some ad n be tough w ups and downs e th elationships ca e iv rv su p relationshi makes a ‘good’ mitment and e built on com nc la ba y th al he to boost your n a d help maintai nificant relationship an ow else will your sig H n. tio ica un m m are holding d direct co trust. arguments if you edient is honest an to e gr in ris y e ke giv A d ul n: io co n Communicat k of communicatio how you feel? A lac any relationship. other really know way of improving n. od sio go us a sc is di ne m alo fro together pany. This could things back er: Spending time g each other’s com th yin ge jo to en e to tim d te ng ca Spendi ould be dedi ice a week time sh e. iet night in.

At least once or tw ema or even a qu cessarily fair or tru cin e th to g in go , er said that aren’t ne th ge be to to e n l ca on ea e gs m th a in th be de t inclu always gumen ber that you can’t conflict: In an ar h em . m ug th Re ea ro br n. th a te g lis ke tin d ta et d an G step back an to calm down g, is tin is ou th sh t d en oi ev av pr to A good way to to back down. Try imes you will have . ns tio here’s how to sa cu speak first. Somet ac d ks excitement. So me calling an lac na n ich se wh les e in lp ut he ro ld This shou sy to fall into a bers: It is very ea s Ignite those em relationship need p. hi ns your relatio could be what your It in ? ck ? er ba try th k’ ge to ar r to ge w ‘sp e ea ne been put th mething restaurant you’ve st: Why not try so d away or that new en A shared intere is important not to ek It we p. a t hi ou ns io ab lat ow re H n e. fu d ap an sh g to . to get it back in big part in a lovin stress and anxiety : Laughter plays a es while reducing tim y creeps h us ug lo to e jea th n h te Make ‘em giggle of ug ry factor. Ve ge help to get thro hu n a ca is r e st te gh tru e, lau di as e test of tim ey’re spen ng tim forget this ionship to stand th ends than you or th lat fri re a eir ur or th yo t :F th st gh wi la ni e e it on Make ding more tim If, for example, on your partner is spen s to be overcome. ed ne it d s? up on us, whether an ur st yo tru th out wi alousy damages ng life tot make plans to go away from you. Je a happy and fulfilli eir friends, why no g th th yin jo wi t en ou d an go t to las partner decides e real test is in it sy to fall in love, th Remember it is ea SB gether as a couple.

R

37

38

Student Bites

// TheStudentBite

Agony Olwyn

Olwyn Boyle of ‘Take Me Out’ offers a no-nonsense approach to solve the everyday problems of the Irish student population.

Q. I’m not in a relationship and have no interest in being in one at the moment, but I still enjoy the ride. How do I go about it without getting a name for myself?

Hannah, NUI Maynooth A. This is really simple. Every time you’re out with a guy and you’re getting The Ride, make up a new name. That way when he’s in college the next day, raving about how savage you were in the sack, he’ll be saying some completely different name. Then if you’re with his mate, you’ll have a new name again and you’ll be getting another great ride.

Q. My girlfriend is going on a J1 this summer and when she gets back I’ll be away on a 4 month work placement. Is there any point in us staying together?

Evan, DCU

Photo: Terry Warren

A. It’s as simple as this right, I’ve been on a J1. You work hard (well you don’t actually) but you definitely play hard. If you’ve got massive trust, I’d advise that you stay together but at your age you should be experimenting in every way. I would advise ye go on a break - absence makes the heart grow fonder. When ye see each other again, if there’s still a spark there’s a spark. Don’t waste your time hanging around when you

could be enjoying other life experiences. At the end of the day, seven months without each other, jaysus that’s nearly half a year, oh, it’s over half a year .

Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years but now I think I might be gay. I don’t know if it’s just a phase or if I should actually end things with him.

Laura, Mary I A. Well, you’ve been with your boyfriend for over two years, it is OK to realise you’re gay. I personally am not gay but still find people of the same sex attractive.

I don’t think this is a bad thing. If you haven’t already experienced a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex and you’re confused, maybe you should talk to your partner about it. Hey, you never know, he might even allow you a threesome. That way you’d get the best of both worlds and you’d find out if you like it or not AND you’re not jeopardising your relationship.

Q. My sister was in the process of losing weight when she and her boyfriend broke up. Now she’s put all the weight back on and won’t stop eating! It’s been three months since they broke up, what should I do?

Claire, UCC

A. Ugh, I know the feeling, I love food but sometimes you have to step away. Right now if it’s only after happening, just give her time and space. The more she eats, the less she’ll like herself so it’ll be harder for her to meet someone else. DON’T keep badgering her about it. DO things with her like call over, go to the cinema ( oh but then you’ll end up eating popcorn but like popcorn’s not so bad coz you can share it). If you change the environment where she is, it’d be easier to lose weight. I’ve lost over seven stone in the last year by sleeping a lot, being miserable about being single and going to the gym. Food just makes you feel worse.

Q. I got with this girl a couple of months ago and now she won’t stop ringing and texting. I don’t know how to tell her to leave me alone without pissing her off.

Sean, UL A. That’s really simple! change your number. If you see her you can say, “Aw I lost my phone, didn’t know you were texting, sorry”. Or you could delete her number and then when she texts ask her, “who is this?” That would confuse her and she won’t text you anymore. Then you won’t be pissing her off.

This one time... at band camp...

Many students consider themselves flawless when it comes to bedroom antics. In reality, the opposite is

true...

My best friend and her boyfriend had been together for 6 months when they decided to take the plunge. She was a virgin. It went fine and they were at it for a couple of months when she realised they’d been using the wrong hole the entire time. Evil man.

A friend warned me to stay away from tingle lube. One night after trying it for the first time with some guy, she fell asleep afterwards and didn’t wash the lube off, so it kept tingling and she ended up wetting the bed . . . with him still in it! Luckily he was a deep sleeper and she just left first thing in the morning.

Mid coitus I screamed out someone else’s name. My partner pretended not to hear so he could finish, he confronted me about it after though, awkward.

I’d been away for the night and when I got back my housemate was asleep in my bed. Turns out, he’d brought a girl home the night before. After their night time activities he realised she was quite a curvaceous woman and the two of them were physically unable to sleep in the same bed.

I was having sex on a pool table when yer man asked me if I’d mind him introducing a pool cue into the mix. So I hit him over the head

with it and left.

I was in my room with my girlfriend and she was busy ‘down there’ when my dad walked in. He put a pillow over her head and pretended he hadn’t seen a thing.

At the end of a drunken night I was with a guy and couldn’t wait to get home so we decided to avail of the public toilet facilities in Eyre Square. I was on top of the baby changing unit and he was horsing it into me when whatever money we’d put in to pay for our privacy ran out and the door opened, to the delight of drunken passers-by.

How embarrassing.

TheStudentBite //

Student Bites

39

Where women What puts a get it so wrong lady off a lad?

Róisín Healy

Seán Russell Woman; both man’s ultimate attraction and crippling weakness. When we’re not prowling the local disco in search of one pitiful/desperate enough to get sexy with us, we’re wrapped around their baby fingers like a helpless work on a hook. However, women, like men (but more so), come with problems. These problems can appear quite unattractive to guys—turn-offs in fact. Here are a few of the most off-putting.

Firstly, and I must stress this is more of a natural instinct, men do not like hairy women. While the idea of a bearded lady is an exciting one, it is so for the wrong reasons. Men are hairy, so women must not be, since science proves that women are the exact opposite of men. The modern age we occupy, complete with electronic mail and microwavable dinners, is a far cry from the Neanderthal-filled caves where women au natural once dwelled. Women-friendly razors, laser hair-removal and bleaching all exist for a reason these days. As do words like ‘ronnie’.

Another major turn off for a lot of guys is an excess in make-up application. While it’s no problem to do a little brushing up around the edges, treating your face like a splash painter’s canvas is a big no no. It’s like Homer Simpson’s make-up gun suddenly became a viable fashion tip. Caked-on foundation that resembles the cracked surface of the Atacama is not in the least bit attractive, and the same goes for ‘oompa-lumpa’ fake tan. If you want to look tanned, go out into the sun and get a damn colour.

And if you can’t tan, stop bitching about how pale you are.

There’s another thing: bitching. It’s a well-known and universally accepted fact that modern women only have one face thanks to copious amounts of adaptive evolution. The female specimen is a robot built to gossip, like some sort of much-less impressive but sexy terminator. Here’s a fact: women invented lying. However, men don’t want to hear it. We don’t want to listen to how ‘Amanda is riding Paul but omg she’s riding Owen on the sly what a slut’ or how ‘Enda is too old for Lisa’. It’s frankly unattractive and just as much of a turn-off as nagging. Leave the gossiping to each other.

A confident, headstrong partner is what a lot of guys desire these days. The attention-seeking, ‘I’m-yourprincess’, ‘insist-on-interlocking-arms20-hours-a-day’ girlfriend routine is a tired one, growing older as quickly as the idea of a modern woman is settling in. With the epic shake-up in the worldwide job infrastructure completely remodelling the working woman, smarts and career motivation can be just as

attractive as chest size now adays. The self-absorbed, clingy girlfriends who care more about themselves than the relationship are quickly becoming break-up fodder, in place of sophisticated, confident partners who can build stable relationships.

Of course, I cannot speak for every guy here.

Different strokes for different blokes.

Some guys don’t like woman who are self conscious of

their bodies.

Others don’t like it when they flirt around.

Pretending to like sports; small boobs; big boobs; deep voices; an inability to write good fiction - the list is endless. Every guy has their own quirky ways of being put off by a woman.

And maybe, some just want a good sandwich. SB

Lads can be disgusting, lazy, annoying and rude. So can girls, but when you’re on the look-out for a man, it becomes an issue. How much can we ladies be expected to put up with? It seems all the eligible gentlemen have been snatched up or have emigrated, leaving us with a choice of Neanderthal slobs, deadbeats or lads dressed by their mammies.

This predicament does not just affect the ladies; lads out on the pull m a y b e

findi n g that t h e odds a r e against them, and not k n o w w h y .

Women do not want to w a s t e their time on “one of the lads” when they can be with a mature, sexy, charming man; we want Ben Affleck, not a post-puberty Bart Simpson.

Guys seem to be under the impression that their chat-up lines are so enthralling and powerful that women will just swoon at their feet, and not notice t h e i r lack of

personal hygiene. No amount of chat and banter can compensate for the smell of B.O. or dirty clothing. We will notice. When we see a stain, we wonder; what caused it, has he noticed it, will it wash out, is that what the smell is and eventually we’ll conclude he probably rarely washes his clothes at all. Snifftesting and deodorant-showers should be things of the past for any man who wants to be a campus-Casanova.

What stops a lad from being a man is behaviour; real men don’t fart for kicks, burp competitively or pick at bellybutton fluff. None of these things are okay. As a general rule, if your mammy would clatter you around the ear over something, then don’t do it in front of us. When lads act like monkeys just stopping short of flinging poo, girls scarper. We know you do these things, but assaulting our senses with the gross images and virulent odours only lads are capable of is asking for a kick to the kerb. Girls surround themselves with beautiful trinkets and the wonderful aromas of scented candles, lotions and perfumes; eau de fart will not catch on with us. Control yourselves, and if that’s too much like hard work, I hope you enjoy pink-eye; we’ve all seen Knocked Up. The clothes maketh the man; the Ancient Romans got a lot of things right, and they were on the button about menswear too. There is little more offputting than bad clothing on a man. If they have bad taste in clothes, then isn’t it an insult for them to be interested in us? Ladies do not want to be associated with Ali-G rejects or male Vicki Pollards.

Lads need to ditch the tracksuits and be a bit more formal; a lad that can’t be bothered with anything more elaborate than a drawstring waist is clearly not up to the challenge of pleasing a woman.

While I do not want to harp on about equality between the sexes, I think it is important for lads to recognise a women’s independence and not revert back to their hunter-gatherer instincts. Obviously men are for the most part physically stronger than women, but that does not mean we are all incapable of looking after ourselves. We all appreciate help every once and a while but we can carry our own bags and open jars without the help of a big strong man. Our ovaries are not in our arms, and condescension and mollycoddling will not do you any favours with the ladies. Chivalry should never die but being a pig gets old fast.

While a girl won’t reject you because of that one dodgy jumper you love and refuse to throw away or having morning breath, be realistic and maintain a high standard for yourself. Otherwise, imagine the wagons you could end up with.

Not a pleasant thought. SB

Back Page

The

What’s hot?

Receding hairlines: So hip even Prince William is sporting one.

60 seconds

The Green Party : Because winning seats in a General Election is sooooo mainstream.

with

Ray Foley

Italian Spiderman: Youtube’s most underrated viral, almost as good as Spiderman 3, but with sharper dialogue.

Staying at home for the summer while all your friends go on a J1 : Because at some stage, everyone needs three months alone time.

Worst hangover you have ever had? A free bar where they were only serving Miller Genuine Draft. The top of my head felt like it was going to explode. I haven’t been able to drink it since.

Strangest place you have woken up? My dog’s bed (frequently) the driveway, the toilet, the usual.

Getting a bailout from the IMF: When managing your country’s public finances isn’t as much craic as it sounds.

& what’s not?

Any job for a day? Mine.

Want to swap jobs with me? Nope.

Favourite band at the moment? Foo Fighters. Actually, they’re always in the top three, but the new album puts them into number one again for now.

Craziest memory from college? I have very few. I was pretty boring in college.

Obesessed with radio, geeky. There were many piss-ups but they were hardly anything you’d see in a frat movie.

Who would win in a fight out of everyone in Today fm. Tony Fenton sounds like a man who can handle himself? Actually, I imagine Tony would have a team of ninjas on call for just such an occasion, so that while they dealt with the messy matter of a radio Royal Rumble in the openplan office, Fenton would be calmly directing the rest of the staff to his limo for cocktails and finger food.

Tech

Zone

With Leo Stiles

What are you watching at the moment? The Borgias. TV drama created by Neil Jordan and starring Jeremy Irons.

RTÉ entertainment has a poll for hottest Irish TV star. Who is your main rival, can you compete with Brent Pope’s foreign swagger? No, I’m not as hot as Brent Pope. But we all have our crosses to bear.

Do you feel pressure on a national level representing Mayo? A county which has exported Michael Davitt, Charles Haughey, Enda Kenny and Willie Joe Padden? You forgot Mary Robinson. But no, I don’t feel under any pressure in that regard.

I’d say Enda is well able to fly the green and red flag for us. I’m living in Dublin nearly 13 years now, so my western credentials aren’t what they used to be. And was Willie Joe Padden ever successfully exported from Mayo? This took longer than a minute.

Michael Lowry : Keepin’ it real for 14 years.

Charlie Sheen: Tips for a fulfilling life- Leave the Peoples’ Democratic Republic of Sheenia, get appearance on Dancing with the Stars, top of the list: Refrain from smoking crack.

Bus Eireann: Who needs to be on time, comfortable and safe when you can be late, sweaty and wary of the cider-slugging dodgy suspect beside you.

Irish people and the sunshine: Wife beaters and salmon-pink chests are not an attractive combination, ditto speedos and socks and sandals combos. N.B. YOU ARE NOT ON JERSEY SHORE. Snooki: No explanation required.

Nintendo strikes back with new 3DS IT’S easy to forget that the 3DS is Nintendo’s second portable 3D console and that the company has been researching the technology and its gaming applications for over 20 years.

Back in 1995 the videogames giant unleashed the Virtual Boy, a barely portable monstrosity that forced gamers to view their world through a set of video goggles that caused violent nausea within minutes and which was a disaster for the company.

Things have moved on since

then and the 3DS is now Nintendo’s bright new hope for a three dimensional future. The question is; does it really work?

Emphatically, the answer is yes; the glassesfree 3D technology at the heart of the machine does display vibrant and convincingly solid 3D images and when you first lay your eyes on it, all you can do for a few minutes is gasp.

3D issues aside, the rest of the system is a lesson in how to build a fun and portable gaming machine.

The big additions to the hardware are twin

cameras on the exterior for 3D photography and the built-in Augmented Reality games and an analogue slider precision control. The slider is reminiscent of the nub on the Playstation Portable but does a far better job thanks to its concave design and softer resistance.

All of these features do come at a cost and leaving aside the obvious issue of price, the battery life of machine is absurdly short. Owners of the 3DS should get used to being tethered to a power source because even with Wi-Fi and 3D functions turned off and

the brightness set to its lowest setting, the 3DS charge often lasts no more than three hours.

And seriously limits the machine’s portability.

The other cost is a monetary one and at €270, the 3DS is just too expensive to be tempting. That said, there are some fantastic trade-in deals out there for owners of older DS systems that take the edge off buying a brilliant piece of gaming hardware that has a generous feature set and a slate of upcoming games that are sure to be musthaves.