FLORIDA A&M UNIVERSITY’S CAMPUS MAGAZINE
T H E L O V E & R E L AT I O NSHI P DO U B L E I SSU E
OFF AIR:
THE
Super Singles
PLUS
PROJECT
SAVING BABY
THE STORY OF A MOTHER’S LOVE JOURNEY MARCH 2015-FREE
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THE H O L LYW O O D E FF E CT | TH E AP P LE DOESN’T FALL FAR | UNC ONDIT IONAL LY SE X Y
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S
4 : S TA F F S H O O T 6 - 9 : E V O L U T I O N FA S H I O N S H O O T 1 0 - 1 1 : N O T A N O T H E R T E E N A G E L O V E A F FA I R 1 2 : U N C O N D I T I O N A L LY S E X Y 13: JOURNEY CARES 14-15: SAVING BABY 1 6 - 1 7 : T H E A P P L E D O E S N ’ T FA L L FA R 18-23: OFF AIR: THE SUPER SINGLES PROJECT
2 5 : S I N C E R E LY D E V O T E D 2 6 - 2 7 : E V O L U T I O N FA S H I O N S H O O T
(EVOL)UTION When we’re five, the definition of love is a fake wedding i n t h e b a c k y a r d w i t h o u r c u t e n e x t - d o o r n e i g h b o r. A s w e grow
up,
life
teaches
us
that
love
doesn’t
have
an
absolute definition. Love is ever evolving—like fashion. T h e e n d i n g m a y n o t b e h a p p y b u t t h i s y e a r ’s s p r e a d i s a love
s t o r y,
where
girl
falls
for
guy
in
a
not-so-classic
fashion… Photos by: Kambria Hayes, Jordan Kinsey & Gina Cherelus Models: Brianna Harmon & Jesse Romimora Designed by: Dennis McMurray
Cover Models: Maleah Gray & Marvin Green Jr.
Special Contributors: Avant-Garb Vintage, Gina C h e r e l u s , M o n e t C o r b e t t , M a l e a h G r a y, K a r e y L a n e , C e c k a R o s e G r e e n , M a r v i n G r e e n S r. , M a r v i n G r e e n J r. , D o m i n i q u e L . J a m e s , W a n d l y J o s e p h , J o r d a n K i n s e y, L u x e & L a i d S p e c i a l T h a n k s : D e a n A n n W. K i m b r o u g h , M a r v a Ford-Jones, Maurice Johnson, Genevieve McDaniel, Metz Catering
DEVON RICHARDSON ONLINE EDITOR
MARISA RICHARD MANAGING EDITOR
CHELSEA HALL FASHION DIRECTOR
LACRAI MITCHELL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
KAMBRIA HAYES
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PHOTO EDITOR
DENNIS MCMURRAY ART DIRECTOR
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Faculty Adviser: Doug Blackburn Graphic Design Team: Taylor Oates, Arnelia Waters Photography Team: Michael Predelus, Jesse Romimora, Sherrell Wilkerson Communications Team: Haley Austin, Joanne Cherisma, Ferrisa Connell, Nadia Felder, Lissa Jules, Amanda Jean-Mary, Melissa Poux-Williams, Rashad Stafford, Kiara Whitehead Male Fashion Stylist: Steven’Michael Fashion Team: Kimberly Webb Copyright 2015 by Florida A&M University. All rights reserved. This issue of Journey magazine was produced by the student organization Journey with essential support from the School of Journalism & Graphic Communication. Journey is funded through the student activity and services fees, as allocated by the Student Senate of Florida A&M University. For more information on Journey or the Magazine Program, contact the Division of Journalism at 850-599-3379, 510 Orr Drive, Room 3078, Florida A&M University, Tallahassee, FL 32307.
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JOURNEY | 9
“She was wearing some blue jeans, a jean jacket, a white T-shirt, with a cap and her hair was in a ponytail through the back of the cap,” McGahee said. “I was captivated by her beauty…” Ferguson admires McGahee’s ambition and how he motivates her to always stay at her best.
Love Affair
“Wendall is really into the church but I’m not as into the church as he is into the church [but] he inspired me to be a better person and live a better lifestyle,” Ferguson said. “He inspires me to be me but to grow into the woman she is meant to be.”
Written by: Ashley Jackson and Sherrell Wilkerson Designed by: Taylor Oates
“Love is possible on the hill, if you want something or somebody you should pursue that person,” Ferguson said.
not another teenage
“All is fair in love and basketball.” It is arguably one of the most famous quotes from the movie that almost every college student loves—Love & Basketball. Everyone wants to think that you can find love in college and that you can find Mr. Right when you’re just 19 years old. For some people it’s not just a dream, it’s reality. Wendall McGahee, a sophomore philosophy and religion student from Fernandina Beach, Fla. firmly believes that he is living his dream when it comes to his relationship with his college sweetheart. “Our relationship is a power couple simply because we are both hard workers and our relationship has conquered highs and lows,” McGahee said. “We’ve conquered the storm.” McGahee vividly remembers the night he met his girlfriend, Tyra Ferguson, a sophomore pre-nursing student from Albany, Georgia.
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Ferguson believes that with courage, finding someone in college is not an impractical aspiration.
They may not be Love & Basketball characters Monica and Q but McGahee says love is attainable and that God answered his prayers when Tyra walked into his life.
“I truly believe that after college is when you become the person that you are meant to be in life,” Gary said. “Your goals, your wants, your needs—many of them change.” For Gary, meeting Green inspired her to open her eyes and heart to a life filled with love again. The couple agreed that younger couples, especially in college, should focus more on themselves, enjoy life and save love for later. Green, who is also a 34-year-old FAMU alumnus, especially feels this way. He never had a college sweetheart because he was more of the young-and-enjoying-college-life type and decided to save the love business for another time in his life. “In college you find yourself looking for someone to benefit you through materialistic aspects or what they bring to the table,” Green said. “But now, that I’m older, it’s more of what can I bring to the table for her.”
“I always wanted to find my wife early, I didn’t want to go through the dating stuff or going through relationship after relationship after relationship,” McGahee said. “I prayed for a permanent relationship before coming to college.”
Green and Gary were fortunate to find love after college but what if the Monica and Q of FAMU really do exist? What if college sweethearts continuing after college isn’t just a dream? Well, Kindall and Calvin Hayes are proof that some dreams can come true.
While McGahee and Ferguson show that finding love on a college campus is possible, Kimberly Gary and Clayton Green believe that college relationships are nothing but dreams. They believe the real love does not come until after the diploma.
Kindall Hayes, a 25-year old FAMU alumna, and Calvin Hayes, a 27-year old FAMU alumnus, caught each other ’s eyes for the first time in the Grand Ballroom for a meeting discussing upcoming FAMU elections.
Gary, a 34-year old FAMU alumna, was once married to her college sweetheart but soon grew apart from the relationship. She later divorced her “teenage love” when she realized that college memories were the only things keeping them together.
“Kindall walked in with this bad red dress and I’m like who … is … THAT?,” Hayes said. “I told my friends, that’s my wife, I’m going to marry her!”
college is a blessing. “I felt as a young couple we had so many advantages. For example, I had a meal plan but I just ate so much better when I was with Calvin,” Kindall said. “But no seriously, I couldn’t imagine going into the world alone and being with Calvin in college, and marrying him after was more than I could ever ask for.” Calvin and Kindall center their relationship on God and believe that with love, it all depends on God’s path created for that individual. They believe they are truly blessed to have found each other so early. “Everyone has a path of their own [and] the timing of love will be different for everyone,” Calvin said. “Some individuals need that time to find themselves during college and wait, while some will be blessed like Kindall and I to find it early but love shouldn’t be rushed, so just be patient,” Hayes said. For the couples who are currently living the dream, Kindall wants to remind you that support is everything. Supporting your partner will keep your relationship strong and happy. “Calvin gets better with age. When you are able to watch your spouse grow and fulfill their purpose is when all the butterflies come back,” Hayes said. “That’s why support is so important.” Love is just another part of life that will continue to scare us until the time is right. Is he the right one? Will she say yes? The truth is, none of us can predict the future and we should not rush it either. If you have that someone now and it works, hold on to him or her. But if not, that is okay too.
The Hayes family believes that having a partner by your side to support your every up and down in
JOURNEY | 11
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Published on March 26, 2015 When your man just called to say he’ll be to your house in 10 minutes and you’ve already done your Bantu knots, what’s a girl to do? Before you cancel his late-night visit, let’s consider a few facts. The natural hair life is not for the faint-hearted, so you have to be comfortable with your hair un- “condition”-ally. Whether you’re rocking the TWA, a teeny-weeny-afro, or the lioness mane, there are still a few ways to keep things steamy in the bedroom. Satin Pillows Natural hair dries out easily, so sleep on a satin pillow case; it allows the hair to maintain moisture as the typical cotton pillow case tends to dry out natural hair. Bobbie is your BFF Prepare for a night of romance (if you can) the night before and pin the hair back on both sides. Pineapple Method Simply gather all of your curls into the middle of your head and secure it with an elastic band. Bun it! Very similar to the Pineapple Method except with the ends of the hair tucked away. Crown Braid/Twist Create a braid or twist around the perimeter of your head. At the end of the day, you know your man and you also know what attracted him to you in the first place and vice versa, so trust it! Men are not as clueless as we think they are; give them some credit. Think about it, if he lived with his mother or sister(s) he has seen them get ready for the day, as well as when the day ends. Nine times out of ten in the African American community, women have a nightly beauty regimen that they follow, whether their hair is relaxed or natural. With that, you deserve someone who appreciates your body as well as your twist-out, so make it count! Want to learn how to do these styles on your own? Visit jmagonline.com to watch tutorials!
Awareness In an effort to raise awareness and recognize important causes in our world, this year Journey started a campaign called JOURNEY CARES.
In this L&R issue we recognize Cancer, a group of more than 100 diseases that affects more than one million Americans each year. According to the American Cancer Society, all types of cancer start because abnormal cells grow uncontrollably. Journey would like to take the time to salute everyone that has been affected by this chronic disease. To learn more information about Cancer, visit www.cancer.org
Saving
Baby
Written by: Keytron Hill Designed by: Dennis McMurray
Dressed in black biker shorts and a neon green sports bra, Monique Williams stares into a mirror, stretching to the booming beats of Beyoncé’s “No Angel.” It’s almost 8:45 p.m. and Addiction dance practice has officially started. Standing in the front row, Williams prepares to begin the first piece the group will practice for the night. The music starts and the lyrics to the popular 90s hit “He’s Mine” by Mokenstef blasts through the speakers. Williams executes each move with all of her might — hair swinging, back bending — as if the words to the song are telling exactly how she feels in that moment. As she dances, the tattoo of her son’s handprints flash across her back — a reminder that Williams is a mother and proud of it.
high school, Williams was preparing to become a teenage mother. “Back then I used to fight and skip class,” Williams says. “I used to ignore the fact that I was pregnant and acted like everything was normal. [Now] I care about school and I care about doing well.” Williams’ mother Constance, who is a social worker, has always provided a strong support system and served for Williams throughout the process of raising Baby. Even during Williams’ rebellious years, Constance was there and “thrilled at the person she has become.” “ [I told Monique] instead of going up a hill it might be a mountain but it still can be accomplished,” Constance says. “She took it and ran with it and I could not ask for anything more.”
Saving baby
In a room down the hall, 4-year-old Devon Blake, who everyone affectionately refers to as “Baby,” prefers to be in a room where the music is lower. He energetically runs around the room as his godmother Empris Lavant dances to the sounds of Denise Williams’ “Silly of Me.” Lavant and Williams have been friends since the fourth grade in Miami and have been dancing with one another since sixth grade —the days of pigtails and stockings. Now, 10 years later the two are dancing side by side as members of the Addiction dance team, growing closer with every pirouette and plié.
With her mother ’s support, Williams has been able to manage being a teenage mom. However, she has still had her share of obstacles to overcome. When she first came to Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University in the fall of 2011, Williams witnessed an experience she’ll never forget. After missing the waiting list to enroll Baby in day care, Williams was forced to come to the realization that she may have to go through her first year of college without her son. “When he got ready to go, I had a break down,” Williams recalls. “That’s my baby, I just couldn’t have him living somewhere else.”
For two weeks, Williams’ older sister Ariel Williams agreed to stay with her until she was fully ready to say bye to Baby. Ironically, on the day before Baby’s departure, Williams received help and advice from a friend who was dealing with a similar situation. Williams was told that Baby could still attend school until he was taken off the waiting list if she paid a discounted price. “The way [Monique] goes about handling her business is For Williams, it was a “blessing.” very flawless in a sense,” Lavant says. “If she’s going through things, she doesn’t show it; she knows how to Relieved and happy, Williams started school, majoring in put on that mother face and have strength.” health informatics and information management. Now, a woman you might call a modern day “Super Woman,” Williams plays many roles. From the time she walks Williams is balancing school, work, dance practice, her through the door dressed in her Target employee shirt, to social life and being a single mother. the time she changes into her practice clothes and steps into the role of the dance team’s vice president, Williams “When I wake up I know what I have to do and I just get effortlessly leads. Though she gives every role all that it done, you have to use your time wisely,” Williams she has, her biggest role and her top priority is being a says. “On top of that I have a good baby, he’s really mother to Baby. She disciplines him when he misbehaves cool." and she holds him when he cries. The woman that Williams is today is almost unrecognizable from the Not only is Devon “cool” but for Williams, her baby is young girl she saw in the mirror four years ago. her saving grace. As a young mother in school, Williams receives grants and scholarships, plus additional While most of her classmates were going to junior assistance from the Early Learning Coalition and brunch, Homecoming, and preparing for senior year of Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten.
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“I never ever thought I could go away,” Williams says. “(Baby) gave me a reason to be on track, he set the standard for me to do something. I got my life together.” Williams and 31 other single moms at FAMU take advantage of the on-campus day care, FAMU New Beginnings. Baby has been going to the school for the last three years and Williams says Baby seems to have gained the hearts of his teachers. Kenedria Thurman, assistant director of FAMU New Beginnings, says that Williams and Baby share a special bond and that Williams is a very devoted parent. “Monique and Devon have a very close relationship; he’s very keen about his mom relationship,” Thurman says. “I admire her tenacity... she’s not one of those moms who just leave, she asks questions.” Thurman adds that she thinks the experiences that Williams and Baby share on campus are going to positively impact his life. “I enjoy the collegiate experience she shares with him because when it’s time for him to grow and mature and get ready to go into higher learning, he’s going to remember that he spent time on campus with her,” Thurman says. Williams’ advice to other teenage mothers who are raising children while in school is to stay calm and just do what needs to be done. “When you overthink, things get harder,” Williams says. “Most importantly, don’t let people make you feel bad.” Doing what needs to be done seems to be the motto of Addiction’s dance practice as the hours rolled by. It’s now 10:30 p.m. and the sweat is dripping down Williams’ back as she’s executing their last run-through of the night. Wiping his tears after being put in time-out, it’s clear that Baby has had enough “fun time” for the night and is ready to go home. Williams’ peers grab their dance bags, sling them across their shoulders and head for the door. Williams grabs Baby and sits him on one hip, then slings her dance bag on the other shoulder with Baby’s snacks in both hands. She may be the last one out the door with the most to carry, but it’s clear to see that Baby is her first priority and her most-loved package. Visit jmagonline.com for behind-the-scenes footage on the “Saving Baby” story.
Pictured: Monique Williams & Devon “Baby” Blake
JOURNEY | 15
THE
APPLE DOESN’T FALL FAR Written by: Lissa Jules Designed by: Dennis McMurray
T
he first image of love that we ever see — or don’t see — comes from our parents. As we grow up, our parents’ relationships play a significant role in the way that we view and handle our own future relationships. From ugly divorces and violent domestic disputes, to living without a parent, children who witness these dysfunctions in their home are almost always in the middle of these conflicts. When children are in the middle, research shows that it takes a toll on their future relationships, revealing that the apple really does not fall far from the tree. Divorces can be a very long and traumatizing experience for children and in many cases, children of divorcees are more likely to get divorces in their own marriages later in life. Christina Steinorth-Powell, a well-known relationship expert and the author of “Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships,” has studied marriage and families for years. She said that when children witness divorces, it seems to send a message to them that divorce is acceptable. “Studies indicate that daughters of divorced parents have a 60 percent higher divorce rate in marriages than children of non-divorced parents,” Steinorth-Powell said. “Sons have a 35 percent higher divorce rate.” Witnessing a divorce can cause a child to adopt a negative ideology about relationships, marriage and love in general. Fordline Jean-Baptiste, a sophomore architecture student from Miramar, Florida, said that as a child she was forced to take a front-row seat to her parents’ ugly separation. "The arguments became more frequent and the truth started to spill out bit by bit," said Jean-Baptiste. She remembers the night that her father left. She remembers her mother running down the stairs yelling, “Two other children? How could you have done this to us?” "I believe in marriage but at the same time I do not [because] marriage comes with a trust level [that] I do not think I could ever reach,” Jean-Baptiste said. “It seems like love is a contract, you will always find a loophole around it.” According to the United States Census Bureau, divorce rates in the 1950s were between 20 and 30 percent. Today that percentage is between 40 and 50 percent and continues to increase year after year. The fear of betrayal and abandonment is common for children that witness their parents separate because they begin to believe that they may suffer the same fate. “I have seen what my father was capable of doing,” Jean-Baptiste said. “I feel as if love comes with a price like everything else in the world — it is not for everybody." The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as a willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault and/or abusive behavior committed by one intimate partner against another.
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Wahid Jenkins, a senior business administration student from Baltimore, watched his stepfather physically abuse his mother when he was a child. Jenkins remembers his mother ordering him
to call 9-1-1 and the police coming to his house and taking his stepfather away. Following the altercation, Jenkins’ mother and stepfather filed for a divorce. "There are a lot of young men out here hitting their girlfriends because they saw their father perform acts of violence toward their mother,” Jenkins said. “And a lot of young women are allowing these men to continue performing these disgusting behaviors [because they] think this is normal when it is not.” The United States Department of Justice: Office of Justice Programs reported that most female victims of domestic violence were previously victimized by the same offender. Seventy-seven percent of females ages 18 to 24; 76 percent of females ages 25 to 34 and 81 percent of females ages 35 to 49 fall into the category of being victimized by repeat offenders. Boys who witness their mothers staying in abusive relationships can begin to feel that violence is an effective way to gain respect. Girls who witness domestic violence can develop paranoia when entering relationships later in life, causing them to have trust issues. Children may also develop a sense of disloyalty within their family and seek comfort in the wrong places and people when entering relationships. While divorce, domestic violence and growing up in a singleparent home negatively affects some children, for others it can eventually serve as inspiration to strive for better partners. Jasiri Toppin, a sophomore broadcast journalism student from Atlanta, grew up in a single-parent household wishing that one day her parents would work out their differences. As years passed, her wishes of someday having both parents in one household started to drift away. "When you had that foundation and you see it crumble before your eyes, it is easy to lose hope on love,” Toppin said. Although Toppin eventually lost hope for her parents’ reunion, she didn’t lose sight of her own happy ending one day. She wants better for her future family because of what she went through as a child. "I don’t want my children to grow up and deal with being the middle man [because] kids should not be put in that position,” Toppin said. “Witnessing my parents’ dysfunction made me yearn for a healthier family structure of my own.” C. JoyBell C., author of “Raising Nobility: A Magickal Take on Parenting,” once said that parents show us a lot of things about ourselves: “Our parents can show us a lot of things: they can show us how we are to be and what things we ought to strive for, or they can show us how not to be and what things we ought to stray from. Then you may have the kind of parents that show you all the things about you that you want to get rid of, and you realize those traits aren't yours at all but are merely your parents' marks that have rubbed off onto you.” Now consider your own life: How far has the apple fallen from JOURNEY | 17 the tree?
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Written by: LaCrai Mitchell Designed by: Dennis McMurray Photos by: Kambria Hayes
easy task. easy Journey task. Journey received received nearly 100 nearly Super 100Singles Super Singles applications applications this year!this After year! sifting Afterthrough sifting them through all, them we all, we narrowednarrowed the selection the pool selection down pool to 16 down interviewees. to 16 interviewees. From From there, eight there, eager eight andeager willing and super willing singles superwere singles selected were selected and paired and uppaired into four up couples. into four All couples. four couples All fourwere couples great were great to work with to work and fun withtoand follow fun to around followbut around at thebut endatofthe theend of the week, there week, could there onlycould be one only winning be oneduo. winning And duo. in order Andtoin order to or almostora almost decade,a Journey decade, has Journey featured has featured Florida Florida be considered be considered a winner, a you winner, had to you follow had to our follow rules. our In the rules. In the M University’s A&M University’s most eligible mostbachelors eligible bachelors and bachelorettes and bachelorettes spirit of being spirit a of couple being for a couple a week, for Journey a week, gave Journey the super gave the super he annual in the Love annual & Relationships Love & Relationships issue. Thisissue. year, This we put year, a we put a singles three singles simple three rules simple to help rules them to help seal them the deal: seal the deal: ative spin creative on the spinSuper on the Singles Superfeature Singlesand feature decided and to decided to
FF
ke their make adventure their adventure a little “real.” a little Inspired “real.” by Inspired the reality by the reality w Married showatMarried First Sight, at First Journey’s Sight, Journey’s Super Singles SuperProject Singles Project mini-reality is a mini-reality show thatshow follows that the follows adventures the adventures of our eight of our eight er singles super assingles they date as they complete date complete strangers strangers for an entire for an entire ek. And week. because And everyone because everyone knows that knows the best that part the best of a part of a Show public Show display publicofdisplay affection of affection on Instagram! on Instagram! lity show reality is the show stuff is the that stuff happens that happens when thewhen cameras the cameras What better What way better to introduce way to introduce your new your girlfriend/boyfriend new girlfriend/boyfriend n’t rolling, aren’t werolling, decided we to decided take you to behind take you the behind scenes the of scenes of to all of your to all friends of your and friends family and than family through than an through Instagram an Instagram e SuperThe Singles SuperProject SinglessoProject you can so see you what can see happened what happened post? In this post? digital In this age, digital social age, media social is the media primary is the source primary source air. off-air. for everything for everything you want you to know. want So to know. if you So want if you something want something hasreal, to be it has “Instagram to be “Instagram official.” For official.” this reason, For this reason, e SuperThe Singles SuperProject Singleswas Project fun towas capture fun tobut capture it wasbut no it wasto nobe real,toitbe
Rule One
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interact with interact otherwith like-minded other like-minded couples. We couples. felt that Weinfelt order that in orde each of the each ladies of the hadladies to post hadtheir to post guy their as their guy#MCM as their and #MCM and to really get to really a feel get for a our feel super for our single super couples, single we couples, had towe had to each of the each guys of were the guys to do were the to same do the for #WCW same forAND #WCW theyAND they put them put in a them group in setting. a group So setting. to end So off to their end week off their of week o had to taghad @journey_mag. to tag @journey_mag. dating, dating, the couples the couples met at met Fun atStation Fun Station for a for a Journey-sponsored Journey-sponsored date where date they where werethey ablewere to interact able to interac with one with another one separately another separately but also with but also the group with the as group a as a couple. couple. Set up a private Set up adate…with private date…with Journey recording Journey recording a little bita little bit
Rule Two
of it. of it. Throughout Throughout their datetheir week, dateeach week, couple eachdistinguished couple distinguished In order to Inhave ordera to successful have a successful relationship, relationship, you have you to make have to make themselves themselves with their with unique their personalities. unique personalities. Whether Whether it was it was time for the timeperson for theyou’re person dating. you’reSodating. in an effort So in to an better effort to better their comical their confessionals comical confessionals after dates after or their dates competitive or their competitive their chances theiratchances a successful at a successful relationship, relationship, each couple each had couple to had to edgethe during dates,theeach dates, super each single super couple singlehad couple a had a coordinate coordinate one individual one individual date—without date—without the helpthe of help edge of during quality that quality made that them made stand them out. stand The couples out. The stood couples out stood so out so Journey. In Journey. addition, In addition, they had they to lethad us know to let in usadvance know in so advance so much that much we described that we described them as: them the Power as: the Couple, Power the Couple, the that we could that we capture couldjust capture a little justbita of little their bitmoment of their on moment on Sweethearts, Sweethearts, the Gamechangers the Gamechangers and the and Sassythe Sarcastic Sassy Sarcastic camera. camera. Duo. Duo.
Rule Three
You canYou watch can the watch full the episode full episode of The of Super The Super Singles Project Singles at Project jmagonline.com at jmagonline.com and check andout check out how date how week date went week forwent the super for the singles! super singles!
Go on a group Go ondate a group withdate the other with the super other single super couples. single couples. It’s important It’s important that in a relationship that in a relationship you knowyou howknow to socially how to socially
JOURNEY | 19
Jasmyn
Tristin
THE SWEETHEART COUPLE
THE POWER COUPLE
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Tristin Brown
Classification: Senior Major: Public Relations Hometown: Miami Hobbies: Reading, shopping and eating Favorite movies: Love Jones and Waiting to Exhale Favorite food: Pizza Favorite sport/team: Her favorite sport is basketball and she loves the Miami Heat Favorite music artists: Anita Baker, Jazmine Sullivan and Migos Longest relationship: 2 years + Goals: After graduation in May, Tristin plans to take the LSAT in June and attend law school at Harvard University. One day, she’d like to open a law firm for family and entertainment law.
Jonathan Sanders
Classification: Sophomore Major: Public Relations Hometown: Waldorf, Maryland Hobbies: Dreaming (visualizing ideas), hanging out with friends and watching movies Favorite movies: Titanic and Lord of the Rings Favorite food: Macaroni and Cheese Favorite sport/ favorite team: His favorite sport is football and his favorite team is the Washington Redskins Favorite music artists: KiD CuDi and Kanye West Interesting facts: Jonathan is an SBI-turned-P.R. student who currently serves as the Sophomore Class President
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rom the very first night that Tristin and Jonathan met, they knew that they were in it to win it. “We’re about to be the couple to beat,” Jonathan said after the first meeting. “We’re number one.” Journey held a “Meet and Greet” with the super singles couples the week before date week. At this meeting we went over the rules for the upcoming date week and we paired the Super Single couples. After pairing them up, we gave them 3 minutes to “get to know” each other before playing a trivia game. Tristin and Jonathan tied as winners after answering the most personality questions right about one another. Their prize was a free, personal date to Luxe & Laid’s Cupcakes & Canvas. All in all, the Power Couple was a tough team to compete against and whether or not you can see it on-air, these two deemed themselves “Team Dominant.”
Jasmyn James
Classification: Freshman Major: Public Relations Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland Hobbies: Reading, acting and blogging Favorite movies: This Christmas and The Aristocats Favorite food: Sweet Potatoes Favorite sport: Her favorite sport is football and she’s a die-hard Ravens fan Favorite music artists: The Weeknd, Beyoncé and Trey Songz but she also loves trap music Longest relationship: 6-12 months Goals: Jasmyn wants to open up an academy that advocates self-love for young girls
Mark Giles
Classification: Junior Major: Broadcast Journalism Hometown: Trinidad Hobbies: Playing the guitar, writing poetry and taking naps Favorite Movies: Training Day and The Great Debaters Favorite food: Home-cooked meals Favorite sport/team: His favorite sport is basketball and his favorite team is the Miami Heat Favorite music artists: Drake, Wale and The Weekend Longest relationship: 6-12 months
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s if they weren’t already a cute Super Single couple to watch, Jasmyn and Mark captured Journey’s attention from the first night as well. Not only was this couple sharp and witty, they seemed to genuinely mesh well together and there definitely seemed to be signs of chemistry with these two. “Y’all definitely hooked me up with a beautiful young lady,” Mark said during his first confessional. “I’m looking forward to all the time we spend together this week.” While the two did not get to go on their individual date—unfortunately, Jasmyn was under the weather for most of the date week—they were able to make up for lost time at the Fun Station group date. As Mark promised from the very first night, Jasmyn did enjoy her time with him and he certainly enjoyed his time with her.
JOURNEY | 21
Carol Kayla THE SASSY SARCASTIC DUO
THE GAMECHANGERS
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Carol Cobbold
Classification: Senior Major: Health Care Management Hometown: Ghana Hobbies: Exercising, eating and trying new and crazy adventures like swimming in sinkholes Favorite movies: The Notebook and Sex in the City the movie Favorite food: Chicken Favorite sport: Her favorite sport is soccer and her favorite team is the Chelsea Football Club Favorite music artists: Usher, P-Square and Ed Sheeran Interesting facts: I'm quad lingual and I have never been back to Ghana since I moved to the U.S.A in 2004 because it was never a good time and school, other things made it harder. Longest relationship: 1-6 months Goals: Graduate in December, currently has an internship at Capital Regional Medical Center. Grad school in the fall of 2016. Work through the hospital, traveling investigator. Travel to London or Ghana post graduation.
Shake Styles
Classification: Senior Major: Engineer Hometown: Largo, Maryland Hobbies: Listening to music and watching sports Favorite movies: Forgetting Sarah and Marshall Wedding Crashers Favorite food: Spaghetti Favorite sport/ team: His favorite sport is basketball and his favorite team is the Oklahoma City Thunder Favorite music artists: John Legend, Wale and Ty Dolla $ign Longest relationship: 1-2 years Interesting fact: “I’m an amazing lover.”
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Goals: “Other than being rich, I just want to hit the lotto, be a computer and electrical engineer, work on a self-driving car and work on patents.”
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f ever there were two individuals that seemed to match up perfectly on paper, they were Carol and Khoury a.k.a. Shake. During their initial interviews, they both mentioned one interesting characteristic that was sure to be an asset to the show—their sarcasm. Not only did these two have funny interactions but also, their personal thoughts during confessionals were priceless. Although Journey couldn’t capture their private date at Lake Ella on camera, they definitely had moments to remember at the Fun Station group date. Carol and Shake’s competitive natures made them the perfect mini golf competitors and after beating Carol by a pretty large margin, Shake said he wasn’t surprised by the outcome. “I’m a winner, that’s what I do,” Shake said. “I kill the competition, I mean that’s what I’m here for. I produce.” Despite Carol’s inability to hit the golf ball a couple of times, she said that her loss was just a minor setback and that she only had one goal when it came to Shake: “to beat him.”
Kayla McCollum
Classification: Junior Major: Business Hometown: Charlotte, North Carolina Hobbies: Shopping, reading and everything NATURAL HAIR Favorite movie: Law Abiding Citizen and Lone Survivor Favorite food: French fries Favorite sport: She really likes basketball but she doesn’t have a favorite basketball team; her favorite NFL team is the Carolina Panthers Favorite music artists: Beyoncé, J. Cole and Drake Interesting fact: “Every year I hear about Super Singles but this is my first year applying.” Longest Relationship: 1-6 months Goals: Kayla wants to own her own investment management firm and a non-profit organization to improve economic knowledge for minorities. She’d also like to travel and explore the world.
Sharard Saddlers
Major: Business Administration Hometown: Lakeland, Florida Hobbies: Football, cooking and dancing Favorite movies: Friday and Bébé’s Kids Favorite food: Fried Chicken, steak and shrimp Favorite sport/ team: He loves football and track and his favorite teams are FAMU, FSU and the Buffalo Bills Favorite music artists: Migos, Drake and Jacquees Interesting facts: “I’m 6'3 with chocolate skin and I’m skinny but muscular, with a pretty smile. I’m a sneakerhead, I love to cook and dance, and I love to laugh.” Longest relationship: 1-2 years Goals: After graduation, Sharard wants to play pro football, be a firefighter and coach a high school football team.
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ayla and Sharard are the perfect match-up: they look great together, they enjoy each other’s company and they’re all about their business. These two SBI students came into date week with open minds and had a plan to make the most of this opportunity. “It’s going to be an experience,” Sharard said in his first confessional. “I’m going to be real about this.” And real he was. For their private dinner, Sharard cooked spaghetti for Kayla and they enjoyed the meal with a side of good conversation. “He’s very conversational so there were really no awkward quiet moments,” Kayla said. Not only did these game changers follow all of the rules throughout the week but they also enjoyed each other’s company; so much so that when asked if they would go on a second date, they both said yes. Their potential chemistry and obedience to Journey’s rules made this couple the perfect choice for this year’s Super Singles Project winner. For their prize, these two get to enjoy a fondue experience at the Melting Pot together, compliments of Journey. And who knows, if Sharard “spits a little game to her,” as he mentioned he might do, these super singles may not be single much longer. After JOURNEY | 23 all, it’s all about the journey.
funstation.pdf
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E G LE
N O I T A T S UN
Sincerely
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DEVOTED
Written By: Jason Joseph Designed By: Dennis McMurray
HT G I N ATE D ING R Y E N H AT RA G O F L A OCI TING S U R O O CT E F R PE THE
The hopeless romantic in my veins pens this in hopes of your eyes seeing this one-day. I give you an all access pass into my heart as I stare longingly at your frame. Statuesque your frame is as I fight myself from touching you.
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Not just in a physical, but in an emotional sense that breaks down the barriers of hurt in your past. Like the rising of the Phoenix from the ashes, you ignite my inner rocket as we blast off past the Milky Way. I get lost in the fountain that is your body as I swim endlessly to find the plug on your leak. Tan is what I do when you smile my way as you brighten up my spirit with those pearly whites. Your touch erupts my senses with the silky caress from your lovely hands. I can't contain the excitement you bring when in my presence as I hope other don't witness my visions. Daydreams of distant lands and foreign scenery as our lips lock in the ultimate game of chess. You are the queen and every other piece on the board is at your whim. The heaven between your thighs helps to emit a sensation that will arise when the time comes for our bodies to become one. Peace and harmony solicit the fusion of our physical beings as I take you down to a place you've never been. You bring me up to new heights that I never dreamed of as I quote D'Angelo and ask "how does it feel?" Risking all my better judgment to keep this feeling around as you arrive at your destination. Elevation of our minds, as we gaze off into the sunset and push past the mundane. Greatness we can achieve is the dream for myself, peeking into my crystal ball only to have no clear vision as to where you are. The search for lost time is made up of day dreams and night sweats as I stroll my way into your heart, hoping that this small piece of art can become somewhat of a start. A token of my appreciation rings out to your ears as I wish you could just hear the lines between the words that are often missed if you don't seek the true meaning. Alas until our lips can unite in the physical, I can only continue dreaming of the plush feel of your love receptors. Peace and blessings to you in all your endeavors until our journey can be matched together.
FACEBOOK US AT FACEBOOK.COM/ITSFUNNER JOURNEY | 25
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JOURNEY | 27
Veil- Journey Closet Black Mesh Swimsuit- Avant Garb $29 Leather Leg Warmer- Journey Closet Heels- Journey Closet Zara Sweater- Journey Closet
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12 | SPRING 2015 JMAGONLINE.COM
JOURNEY | 13
Model: Charlina Davis
BAGGAGE
CLAIM Written by: Terrie Hookf in Designed by: Dennis McMurray
Bag∙gage Bag∙gage l bagij l bagij Noun: Noun: Past Past experiences experiences or long-held or long-held ideasideas regarded regarded as burdens as burdens and and impediments. impediments.
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ou’re ou’re swept swept off your off your feet.feet. You You feel feel like like you’ve you’ve finally finally found found the one the one and and they're they're everything everything you’ve you’ve everever wanted wanted in a in mate. a mate. TheyThey makemake you you laugh laugh harder harder thanthan you’ve you’ve everever laughed laughed before before and and theythey treattreat you you in a inway a way that that you’ve you’ve beenbeen longing longing to betotreated. be treated. In the In midst the midst of your of your newfound newfound lovelove you’re you’re suddenly suddenly gripped gripped by painful by painful memories memories of past of past relationships. relationships. Every Every goodgood timetime withwith youryour newfound newfound lovelove is overcast is overcast by dreadful by dreadful past past experiences, experiences, every every hug hug carries carries remnants remnants of hurt of hurt and and every every laugh laugh is tainted is tainted withwith reminders reminders of lies of lies and and tears. tears. The The fog fog of the of past the past becomes becomes so thick so thick that that you you don'tdon't see “the see “the one”one” anymore anymore because because you you can can onlyonly see reminders see reminders of your of your ex. ex. Whether Whether it’s being it’s being broadcast broadcast on social on social media media or composed or composed to a to harmonious a harmonious hookhook in a in love a love song, song, we’ve we’ve all heard all heard the the phrases phrases “men“men are dogs” are dogs” and and “women “women aren't aren't loyal.” loyal.” These These perceptions perceptions can can be stemming be stemming fromfrom baggage baggage that that we have we have carried carried fromfrom past past relationships. relationships. If this If this is the is case, the case, is itis it fair fair to say to that say that baggage baggage taints taints our relationships our relationships and and makes makes it hard it hard for aforperson a person to find to find lovelove afterafter hurt?hurt? MostMost would would agree agree that that naturally naturally we pick we pick up things up things fromfrom the people the people to to whom whom we give we give the the mostmost time.time. It’s It’s safe safe to say to say that that it’s it’s virtually virtually impossible impossible to move to move on from on from a relationship a relationship withwithout acquiring out acquiring baggage. baggage. The The problem problem arises arises whenwhen one one has has a massive a massive loadload and and it negatively it negatively affects affects theirtheir discernment, discernment, ideals ideals and and self-worth. self-worth. Baggage Baggage isn’tisn’t acquired acquired and and simply simply stored stored away, away, it’s carried it’s carried into into future future relationships. relationships. In other In other words, words, eveneven afterafter an ex an has ex has longlong departed, departed, it’s it’s easyeasy to to carrycarry around around the emotional the emotional loadload fromfrom a past a past relationship relationship into into a new a new one.one. Eventually, Eventually, it'll it'll be time be time to goto togobaggage to baggage claim. claim. Baggage Baggage is directly is directly connected connected to toxic to toxic dating dating habits. habits. Aside Aside fromfrom school school and and work, work, we allocate we allocate a great a great deal deal of of our our timetime to our to our significant significant other. other. We share We share the most the most inti-intimatemate details details withwith our mates. our mates. They’re They’re meant meant to love, to love, affirm affirm and and to betoa be companion. a companion. We give We give a lota of lotourselves of ourselves to that to that
person person to sustain to sustain the the relationship. relationship. WhatWhat happens happensputting puttimyself ng myself out out there, there, giving giving my body my body and and being being whenwhen that that matemate turnsturns out out to be to unworthy be unworthy of such of suchleft left hurt hurt and and alone alone in the in end.” the end.” time,time, effort effort and and intimacy? intimacy? WhatWhat happens happens whenwhen theythey extract extract moremore thanthan theythey give? give? WhatWhat happens happens whenwhen the theAs IAs listened I listened I couldn't I couldn't helphelp but think but think therethere has to hasbeto be honeymoon honeymoon segment segment fades fades and and you you realize realize that that maybe maybean alternative an al ternative to ending to ending up inuprelationships in relationships that that leave leave theythey aren’t aren’t who who you’re you’re supposed supposed to be to with? be with? Con-Con-you you feeling feeling broken, broken, insecure insecure and and weak. weak. There There has has to to stantly stantly moving moving in and in and out out of relationships of relationships can can be bebe a be dating a dating solution solution that that doesn’t doesn’t end end withwith you you carrycarrydraining draining and and toxic, toxic, not to notmention to mention the extra the extra baggage baggageing ing loads l oads of baggage of baggage fromfrom past past relationships. relationships. There There that that is attained is attained through through this this process. process. has has to be to abeway a way to see to see through through the the hurt,hurt, to see to see a a potential potential suitor suitor for what for what theythey bring bring and and not for not what for what According According to a torecent a recent survey survey commissioned commissioned by the by theyou're you're al ready already holding. holding. Negative Negative experiences experiences lead lead to to author author of The of The Rosie Rosie Project, Project, Graeme Graeme Simsion, Simsion, stud-stud-deep-rooted deep-rooted thoughts thoughts that that lovelove and and hurt hurt are synonyare synonyies show ies show that that the average the average woman woman will will kiss kiss 22 men, 22 men,mous, mous, whenwhen in actuality, in actuality, lovelove is defined is defined as an as an enjoy enjoy four four long-term long-term relationships relationships and and havehave theirtheir“intense “intense feeling feeling of deep of deep affection.” affection.” Too Too oftenoften it’s it’s heartheart broken broken five five times times before before theythey meetmeet “the “the one.” one.”seenseen as an as intense an intense feeling feeling of deep of deep regret, regret, leaving leaving By contrast, By contrast, the survey, the survey, which which was was also also reported reported on onmany many in pieces in pieces instead instead of with of with peace. peace. in The in The Telegraph, Telegraph, showed showed that that the the average average man man is is likely likely to kiss to kiss 23 women, 23 women, havehave ten one-night ten one-night stands standsJovonee Jovonee King, King, a sophomore a sophomore business business administration administration and and havehave theirtheir heartheart broken broken by six by women. six women. Perhaps Perhapsstudent student f romfrom Tampa, Tampa, Fla.,Fla., described described her relationship her relationship we weren't we weren't designed designed to betowith be with so many so many people, people, being beinghistory history as “nonexistent.” as “nonexistent.” left left withwith fragments fragments of each of each of them of them that that don'tdon't easily easily dissipate. dissipate. That’s That’s moremore thanthan enough enough personalities, personalities,“I used “I used to betoashamed be ashamed that that I’ve I’ve never never beenbeen in a in relaa relaworld world views views and and patterns patterns to cloud to cloud our our memory memory whenwhentionship tionship but then but then it became it became a source a source of strength of strength as I as I we finally we finally do find do find “the “the one.” one.” realized realized my counterparts my counterparts werewere suffering suffering fromfrom broken broken hearts hearts and and plummeting plummeting self-esteem self-esteem due due to emotional to emotional According According to research to research by psychologists by psychologists Matthew Matthew A. A.baggage,” baggage,” KingKing said.said. “It’s“It’s now now a conscious a conscious decision decision Killingsworth Killingsworth and and Daniel Daniel T. Gilbert T. Gilbert of Harvard of Harvard Uni-Uni-to beto purposeful be purposeful in who in who I allow I allow into into my life my life [and] [and] I I versity, versity, people people spend spend about about 47 percent 47 percent of waking of wakingvalue value the process”. the process”. hours hours thinking thinking about about the past. the past. So what’s So what’s the alternative? the alternative? WellWell for starters, for starters, leave leave the the Bijou Bijou Taylor, Taylor, a junior a junior broadcast broadcast journalism journalism student studentbaggage baggage at baggage at baggage claim. claim. Don’t Don’t givegive up on up love, on love, fromfrom Orlando, Orlando, Fla. Fla. said said that that she’sshe’s guilty guilty of carrying of carryingjust just know know youryour self-worth. self-worth. We are We worth are worth moremore thanthan baggage baggage into into new new relationships relationships but but realizes realizes it’s it’s not notbroken broken hearts hearts and and one-night one-night stands. stands. MoreMore thanthan the the fair fair to the to other the other person person to blame to blame themthem for someone for someonecollection collection of lies of lies heldheld in baggage. in baggage. I think I think it’s safe it’s safe to to else’s else’s mistakes. mistakes. say that say twe hat need we need to betomore be more intentional intentional about about who who we we givegive our hearts our hearts to and to and maybe maybe a positive a positive alternative alternative is is “There “There werewere times times where where I would I would havehave trusttrust issues issuestaking taking the approach the approach of dating of dating withwith a purpose a purpose in order in order toward toward my significant my significant otherother whenwhen he didn't he didn't eveneven do doto have to have a future a future lasting lasting relationship. relationship. No one No one wants wa nts anything,” anything,” Bijou Bijou Taylor Taylor said.said. “I don't “I don't wantwant to carry to carrythe aftertaste the aftertaste of the of past the past washing washing up inupthe in present. the present. any any baggage baggage fromfrom past past relationships relationships into into my my mar-mar-It’s not It’s fnot air fair to you to you or the or person the person who who wants wants to pursue to pursue riageriage [because] [because] that's that's not fair not fair to my to future my future husband.” husband.” you.you. Moving Moving fromfrom one one person person to the to next the next isn’tisn’t as simple as simple as asSo imagine So imagine that that you’re you’re swept swept off your off your feet.feet. You You feel feel we we may may conclude. conclude. A survey A survey of 1,000 of 1,000 participants participantslike like you’ve you’ve finally finally found found the one. the one. They're They're everything everything conducted conducted by Tango by Tango Magazine Magazine revealed revealed that that 71 71you’ve you’ve everever wanted wanted in a inmate. a mate. In the In midst the midst of your of your percent percent of people of people say say theythey thinkthink about about theirtheir ex too ex toonewfound newf ound lovelove you you absorb absorb theirtheir embrace. embrace. You You let let much. much. Fifty-seven Fifty-seven percent percent of singles of singles say say thinking thinkingdown down youryour walls, walls, no reservations, no reservations, no shadows no shadows of the of the about about theirtheir ex prevents ex prevents themthem fromfrom finding finding new new love.love.past,past, no baggage. no baggage. Almost Almost two-thirds two-thirds of married of married people people agree agree that that theirtheir ex isexonis their on their mindmind too often too often and and another another 36 percent 36 percent say say theirtheir attachment attachment to their to their ex interferes ex interferes withwith theirtheir marriage. marriage. At this At this rate,rate, it appears it appears that that the road the road to love to love and and the long the long journey journey to being to being in love in love can can be made be made all all the more the more difficult difficult while while carrying carrying baggage. baggage. A Florida A Florida Agricultural Agricultural and and Mechanical Mechanical University University student, student, who who asked asked not to notbetoidentified, be identified, revealed revealed that that her dating her dating patterns patterns havehave led to ledconstant to constant heartache. heartache. “They “They all end all end the same,” the same,” she she said.said. “I’m“I’m so tired so tired of of
10 | SPRING 2015 JMAGONLINE.COM
JOURNEY | 11
Model: Sharahn Slack Model: Sharahn Slack
virgin virgin confessions of a college confessions of a college
WRITTEN BY: SIERRA BROWN WRITTEN BY: SIERRA BROWN
The constant reminders of sex make it harder constant reminders of sex make it harder toThe abstain from it in college. As you flip to abstain it in college. As you flip through anyfrom modern-day magazine, images any modern-day magazine, images ofthrough half-dressed women and sexual suggesof half-dressed women and sexual suggestions skate across your eyes. tions skate across your eyes. AAUniversity looked at at University of of Georgia Georgia study study looked 3,232 1983, 1993 1993 3,232full-page full-pageads ads published published in in 1983, and such as: as: and 2003 2003 inin popular popular magazines magazines such Cosmopolitan, NewsCosmopolitan, Red Red Book, Book, Esquire, Esquire, Newsweek and Time. They found imagery week and Time. They found sexual sexual imagery inin2020percent percentof ofthe theads. ads.
Many and Manyhave have given given in in to to peer peer pressure pressure and society’s have society’s social social standards standards but others others have madethemselves themselvesaa rarity rarity by by refraining refraining from made from sex.According According to to Time Time Magazine, Magazine, 11 in sex. in 44 collegestudents studentsisisaa virgin. virgin. college BrittanyBartholomew, Bartholomew, aa junior junior psychology Brittany psychology student atat Valdosta Valdosta State State University, University, has student has remained steadfast steadfast to to her her decision decision to remained to stay stay abstinent. abstinent. gets harder as you get older, especially in “It“Itgets harder as you get older, especially in thegeneration generationthat that we’re we’re in, in, because because everythe everyone has sex either on the first or second one has sex either on the first or second date,” Bartholomew said. date,” Bartholomew said. A Brooklyn native, Bartholomew said that Awhile Brooklyn native,make Bartholomew said that some people the decision to stay while somefor people make reasons, the decision to stay abstinent religious she’s just abstinent forthereligious reasons, just waiting for right person to comeshe’s along. waiting for the right person to come along. “It’s not really a religious thing where I say “It’s really a religious thing where I say I’m not going to wait until marriage because I I’m going waittountil marriage because I would be tolying myself,” Bartholomew would be lying to myself,” Bartholomew explained. explained. This line of thinking crosses gender lines. Jeffrey a junior biology student at This lineDixon, of thinking crosses gender lines. FloridaDixon, A&M University, said he’sstudent a virgin Jeffrey a junior biology at becauseA&M “it” just never happened. Florida University, said he’s a virgin because “it” just never happened. “It wasn’t something I decided I was going to it’s not a decision that II was made,” said “Itbe,wasn’t something I decided going to Dixon. “The way I look at it, I just never had be, it’s not a decision that I made,” said sex with woman; theat opportunity never Dixon. “Thea way I look it, I just never had presented sex with aitself.” woman; the opportunity never presented itself.” It’s true, college is the time to explore mentally, spiritually and sexually. There are It’s true, opportunities college is the time new to explore so many to meet people mentally, sexually. There are and withspiritually newfoundand freedom from direct so many opportunities to meet new people parental guidance, decision-making is and with newfound direct completely up to thefreedom student. from Oftentimes, parental guidance, decision-making this can lead to compromising situations. is completely up to the student. Oftentimes, this can lead toiscompromising situations.said. “Temptation a bitch,” Bartholomew “But I only go so far. If [boys] try, I’ll say no “Temptation a bitch,” said. or move theirishand a littleBartholomew bit.” “But I only go so far. If [boys] try, I’ll say no or move their hand a little bit.”
DESIGNED BY: TAYLOR OATES DESIGNED BY: TAYLOR OATES
When Dixon is faced with temptation, he When Dixon is faced with temptation, thinks before he acts. Dixon recallshehis thinks before Dixon his thoughts whenhe he acts. was once in arecalls compromisthoughts when he was once in a compromising situation: ing situation:
had to look at the situation, then I had “I“Ihad to look at the situation, then I had to to think ofof the the consequences consequencesthat thatwould would think happen. ItIt wouldn’t wouldn’thave havebeen beenthetheright right happen. consequences.The Theconsequences consequences might have consequences. might have hadaasevere severeeffect effectininour ourlives,” lives,” explained had explained Dixon. “I thought aboutthat thatand and I just went Dixon. “I thought about I just went forwardwith withthat thatlogical logicaldecision-making.” decision-making.” forward Beingsingle singleand andbeing beinga avirgin virgin one battle Being is is one battle butbeing beinginina arelationship relationship and still holding but and still holding it it together a test of of strongtogetherisisanother. another.ItItcan canbebe a test strongwill, in in your partner. will,patience patienceand andconfidence confidence your partner. Unfortunately herher decision Unfortunatelyfor forBartholomew, Bartholomew, decision toto remain cost herher remainabstinent abstinenthas hassometimes sometimes cost the the relationship. relationship.On Onone oneoccasion occasionwhere where Bartholomew giving upup herher Bartholomewwas wasconsidering considering giving virginity that sheshe virginitytotoananex, ex,she shelater laterlearned learned that made herher madethe thebest bestdecision decisionbybymaintaining maintaining resolve. resolve.
“I was questioning myself on why I was “I was questioning myself on why I was keeping ‘it’ from this one person [and] I was keeping ‘it’ from this one‘it’ person [and] I was really considering doing to keep him,” really considering doing ‘it’to to keep him,” Bartholomew said. “But I had stick to who said. “But I had stick to‘it’ who IBartholomew was [and] I found out he wastogetting I wassomebody [and] I found from else.” out he was getting ‘it’ from somebody else.” Dixon wasn’t met with the same type adverDixon wasn’t met with the same type adversity as Bartholomew because his girlfriend sity aas virgin Bartholomew his Dixon’s girlfriend was as well. because However, was a virgin that as ofwell. However, Dixon’s virginity—and his ex-girlfriend—did virginity—and that of in hisobvious ex-girlfriend—did affect their relationship ways. affect their relationship in obvious ways. “It meant we couldn’t have sex,” Dixon said. “For her, she tohave wait sex,” until marriage, “It meant wewanted couldn’t Dixon said. which I respected.” “For her, she wanted to wait until marriage, which I respected.” Although abstaining from sex might be a good way toabstaining reveal a person’s Although from true sex intentions, might be a it’s notway foolproof. Bartholomew saidintentions, holding good to reveal a person’s true out doesn’t always make it easierholding to it’s not foolproof. Bartholomew said determine who isalways being genuine you. to out doesn’t make with it easier determine who is being genuine with you. “Holding out isn’t a good way to see how great your man or woman is or how the “Holding out isn’t atogood to see how relationship is going go,” way Bartholomew great your man or woman is or how the said. relationship is going to go,” Bartholomew said. everyone wants companionship at Almost some point in his or her life but it’s all in AlmostForcing everyone companionship timing. or wants pressuring a person to at somesex point hiskey or her life but it’s all in have isn’tinthe to longevity, so the timing. pressuring a person only thingForcing to do is or to not worry about it and to havelife. sex isn’t the key to longevity, so the live only thing to do is to not worry about it and live life.
PHOTO BY: KAMBRIA HAYES PHOTO BY: KAMBRIA HAYES
From one virgin to another, Bartholomew From one virgin to some another, and Dixon have tipsBartholomew to give to others andlike Dixon have some tips to give to others themselves: like1.themselves: If you’re seeing someone, let the guy or 1. If you’re seeing someone, let the guy or girl know up front, that you’re a virgin. girl know up front, that you’re a virgin. Having in college so commonplace Having sexsex in college is sois commonplace people expect it within the first month, thatthat people expect it within the first month, you’re going to have to explain so so you’re going to have to explain your your virginity eventually. sooner, the better. virginity eventually. TheThe sooner, the better. Before giving virginity, 2. 2. Before giving up up youryour virginity, thinkthink about what you’re doing, you’re about what you’re doing, whywhy you’re doingdoing it it what you’re getting should andand what you’re getting into.into. You You should really think about consequences really think about the the consequences of of having sex—the good having sex—the good and and bad.bad. If you’re in the company a woman, 3. 3. If you’re in the company of aofwoman, whatever youyou do with her her should be under whatever do with should be under thethe correct circumstances. correct circumstances. 4. Respect yourself and and don’tdon’t let anyone’s 4. Respect yourself let anyone’s opinions change youryour mind. PeerPeer pressure is is opinions change mind. pressure realreal butbut justjust because everyone else else is doing because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s right for you. You’re not not it, doesn’t mean it’s right for you. You’re everybody. You’re you!you! everybody. You’re 5. Be proud of who you are. You knowknow 5. Be proud of who you are. You what’s bestbest for for you you and and you you havehave the the what’s willpower to stand by it. That’s pretty brave. willpower to stand by it. That’s pretty brave. 6. It6.doesn’t matter if you initiate foreplay, if if It doesn’t matter if you initiate foreplay, you change your mind and don’t want to you change your mind and don’t want to proceed with sex, STOP. Being in the proceed with sex, STOP. Being in the moment doesn’t obligate you to do anything. doesn’t youjust to do anything. Nomoment one is entitled to obligate having “it” because No one is entitled to having because you’ve reached a certain level“it” of just sexual you’ve reached certain sexual interaction. Be OK awith sayinglevel “no”ofand interaction. Be OK with “no” and don’t feel like you’re wrong forsaying saying it. don’t feel like you’re wrong for saying it. Dixon said he has seen what sex can do and he hasItseen what sex can do it’sDixon really said powerful. becomes a game of and it’storeally chase some powerful. students. It becomes a game of chase to some students. “I’m not judging them, but it looks like your priorities arejudging mixed up,” saidbut Dixon. “[Some “I’m not them, it looks like your students] would rather up,” focussaid onDixon. sex [but] priorities are mixed “[Some there’s so much more important that[but] students] would rather focus stuff on sex needs to beso done.” there’s much more important stuff that needs to be done.” Dixon said that by chasing a girl for sex, he’d be Dixon missingsaid outthat on all thingsa girl that for need to he’d by the chasing sex, getbe done. missing out on all the things that need to get done. Dixon said, “I have a focus on the stuff that I want to do.” Dixon said, “I have a focus on the stuff that I want to strong do.” resolve, Bartholomew said Even with she finds herself doubting her decision someEven with strong resolve,remembers Bartholomew times. However she quickly that said finds herself somehershe virginity doesn’tdoubting make herher andecision outcast, it she quickly remembers that justtimes. makesHowever her different. her virginity doesn’t make her an outcast, it just makes “I know there her are different. some good guys that are going to wait for me,” Bartholomew said. “I “I know someknow goodwe’re guys not that are want to let there other are virgins going to waita different for me,” breed.” Bartholomew said. “I behind—we’re want to let other virgins know we’re not behind—we’re a different breed.”
The
hollywood Written By : TyLisa Johnson Designed By : Taylor Oates
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n November 2014, social media networks came close to combustion when nude pictures of Kim Kardashian graced the cover of Paper magazine. In the midst of the “buzz” surrounding Kim’s choice to do the nude cover shoot, fans anxiously awaited for a Kanye West rant that was sure to be just around the corner. I held my breath in anticipation for days while there was silence from the West family. Frantically searching online news outlets for some whisper of a reaction from West, I found nothing. After a few days of searching, Kanye finally voiced his unwavering opinion — in support of his wife’s worldwide nudity — in a tweet that said, “#ALLDAY”. I was shocked. When I finally saw Kanye West’s reaction — or lack thereof — to Kim’s nude photo, I found his response to be a little odd. The same man who has been known to loudly voice his strong opinions in the past, appeared to have no issue with the world seeing his wife nude. Forty years ago, society had different relationship standards and there were much higher expectations of individuals in relationships. Women’s and men’s roles were more traditional and a mother or wife would never have been seen naked on the cover of a magazine. More importantly, husbands didn’t encourage such behavior. So what has changed? Do the relationship standards of famous people like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, affect the common relationship? Giulia Marsico, a senior public relations student from Chicago, thinks that women and men shape their relationship standards and expectations based on what they see in the media. “We try to compare ourselves to relationships we see, which can be good or bad,” Marsico said. “We mirror
Effect
what we do [and] see on television and in the media.” Though it may not seem like we are directly affected by what we watch, read and hear, sometimes we subconsciously take in and emulate the bad habits of star celebrities. In a study done by Mick Cunningham and Arland Thornton, The Influence of Parents’ Marital Quality on Adult Children’s Attitudes Toward Marriage…, the authors conclude that our own personal observations of marriages impact the way we view marriage. “Whether married or not, individuals are likely to observe the marriages of others, consciously or unconsciously assessing the meaning and desirability of marriage,” the study reported.
According to the How Much Media? 2013: Report on American Consumers study by James E. Shor, the millennial generation consumes approximately 15.5 hours of traditional and digital media per day. So it’s no surprise that this generation uses the media to shape the way they live and how they relate to others. There was a time when women only took on the role of “housewife.” Now, in the new millennium with feminism and women’s rights well established, women are creating their own empires by any means. Kim is one of those women. Deja Bradley, a sophomore sociology student from Philadelphia, said that Kanye’s reaction to the situation is not acceptable. “It is ridiculous that [Kanye] lets [Kim] do that [naked cover] but Kim comes from a place of being a sex symbol,” Bradley said. “Kim Kardashian comes from something else, a background of porn tapes and
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years of trying to break into the [entertainment] industry. Bradley is seemingly addressing the alternate reality these celebrities live in but how separate are these realities when they are most of what we absorb daily? Where Kanye West was proud of his new wife being displayed nude for the world to see, is the average guy just as accepting? It seems, under some circumstances, he might be. A senior economics student from Fortworth, Texas said his approval of a nude magazine cover featuring his wife would rely on a few factors. “How much will she be paid? Is she comfortable with it? If that’s how she makes her money, then yes, I’ll be supportive, if that’s her hustle.” Though all couples, such as Bradgelina — Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie — may not have the profound effect that Kim and Kanye may have, because face it: there is no one adopting a significant amount of foreign babies because Pitt and Jolie decided to. This may speak to the level of super-stardom needed to influence others and the aspects of which we draw from the relationship. Allowing our significant others to do something morally questionable is much more feasible for most than buying them the newest high-end Balmain suit or the newest Givenchy dress for more than $500. We have all seen the memes of Jay-Z and Beyoncè saying “#RelationshipGoals” and perhaps these images inspire you to accept things in your relationships that you may not have normally accepted. Just like with fashion trends such as all-jean outfits and possibly allowing a significant other to be morally questionable because Kanye doesn’t mind. Celebrity relationships, though often airbrushed, serve as blueprints for most common couples. These relationships, such as that of Kim and Kanye, have begun blurring lines of what is acceptable and what is not as the masses fall deeper and deeper into the “Hollywood Effect.”
JOURNEY | 7
Rules
of Engagement SLIDER EDITION
Written by: Leah Wilson | Designed by: Dennis McMurray
“Sliding”
is an art. It takes creativity, skill and human expression — in the physical form. It’s a lifestyle choice. One has to make the conscious decision to become the “temporary companion” in someone’s life and one has to realize that his or her role, while exhilarating, is not permanent. Are you new to the sliding game? Do you need help on mastering the
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do’s and don’ts of this artistic lifestyle? Whether you’re a man or a woman, there are rules of
The Rules
Rule #1: Don’t get too comfortable This means there is a “No Fraternizing” rule. Her friends are not your friends. Heaven forbid things go sour between you two, the last thing we want are our friends feeling like they have to choose a side. Therefore, keep it strictly sexual. Rule #2: No Glove, No Love This is not a monogamous relationship, or even a relationship for that matter. According to Stanford University’s Sexual Health Peer Resource Center, 1 in 4 college students have an STD. The only way to reduce chances of contracting an STD is to practice safe sex as well as getting tested regularly. STDs know no name and are not always visible to the naked eye, so using protection is a must, whether it’s our good friend Trojan, birth control or both. Rule #3: Honor visiting hours Honestly, we are both here for one reason and one reason only, which means: No surprise visits. Both parties should be able to agree on a time of arrival as well as a time of departure; never overstay your welcome. Respecting each other’s boundaries is beneficial for both parties and will make “visits” a lot smoother. Rule #4: The “You Were Never Here” Condition You need to leave with everything that you came with; all the way from toothbrushes to undergarments. The last thing we want is to be walking around our house and a pair of boxers gets caught around our ankles. The same for guys, no one likes panties stuck between their toes. You are a guest, therefore keep track of your belongings. Rule #5: Don’t discuss other partners The topics of other people are absolutely off limits. Whoever you two decide to be intimate with outside of each other is between those two people. Having this method leaves little room for jealousy to creep in. Even if you are a slider, sliders are humans at the end of the day. With that being said, whether “the moment” lasts for 3 minutes or 3 hours, be in that moment. Rule #6: Maintain good hygiene Let’s be real, if we are keeping things strictly sexual, then maintaining your sexy is a must. Starting with the basics, having fresh breath will make him want to lock lips with you even longer. Taking showers regularly will only make the experience between you two even better; I have yet to meet someone who is turned on by funk. Ladies, take care of “her” which means making sure your PH levels are balanced; and guys, take care of “him” as well, especially if your partners like to dine on “southern cuisine.” Lastly, pair your favorite lotion with a seductive fragrance that’s guaranteed to make him or her drool.
engagement when it comes to being a good slider. Lucky for you, Journey has taken the time to outline a few:
Rule #7: Play your role Don’t catch feelings. If you happen to see your slider with someone else in public, or they are someone else’s #MCM/#WCW, it is not any of your concern. You have no right to question their whereabouts or whom they follow on Instagram. In addition, major holidays, such as Christmas and Valentine’s Day, are completely off limits. To be more specific, you are not obligated to send anything more than a text message.
4 | SPRING 2015 JMAGONLINE.COM
JOURNEY | 5
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Before I write this love letter, I feel it’s only right, to give you all a small disclaimer: I’m not a poet, I just like to write.
LOVE &
Relationships TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S
4-5 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT 6 - 7 T H E H O L LY W O O D E F F E C T 8-9 CONFESSIONS OF A COLLEGE VIRGIN C
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10-11 BAGGAGE CLAIM 1 2 - 1 3 E V O L U T I O N FA S H I O N S H O O T
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COVER MODELS CELESTE MCKNIGHT R A S H A D S TA F F O R D
Dear Devoted Journey Readers, These words may not give you chill bumps and they may not make you weep but this love letter isn’t about prose or rhetoric, it’s about your love for Journey, which runs deep. For 31 years you’ve supported Journey and I felt a simple “thank you” just wouldn’t do, I know my editor’s letter is supposed to be about my thoughts but I wanted to write this one for you. For decades you’ve read issue after issue as we’ve evolved in fashion (Evolution p.2) and in art. We push the envelope in innovation and style, we write stories that touch your heart (Saving Baby p.14). Now, in the spirit of maintaining the tradition of editor’s letters I’ll share just a few thoughts of mine: This Love & Relationship Issue is sexy, no doubt (Unconditionally, p.12) and it’s sure to blow your mind.
As you explore the effects of bad relationships (Baggage Claim, p.10), and evaluate your #RelationshipGoals (Hollywood Effect, p.6) I hope this issue empowers you and revitalizes your literary soul (Sincerely Devoted, p.25) You see, you’re the reason we write these letters, craft these articles, and take pictures too. You’re the reason Journey keeps breathing. We’re nothing without you. So as we inhale and you exhale and Journey continues to take your breath away, know that our appreciation of your love and support will last forever and always. Signed a fellow Journey lover,
LaCrai Mitchell
JOURNEY MARCH 2015-FREE
JMAGONLINE.COM