FLORIDA A&&& & M UNIVERSITY’S CAMPUS MAGAZINE
LOVE & & RELATIONSHIP ISSUE
SEX POSITIVITY
LES
VOYAGES A modern love story of a Rattler who went the distance to o finally meet the girl of her dreams
ARE YOU A
MISOGYNIST QUIZ Find out where you rank on Journey's misogyny scale and how to be a better ally
CRUSH ON YOU Get your lover all shook up with these simple & sexy looks
VIRGIN
DIARIES Students share the good, the bad, and the uneventful stories of their "first-time”
jOURNEY · FREE · SPRING 2018
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Journey Magazine @journey_mag @journeymag
Class is in session so sit up straight and take notes. Today’s lesson is about all about control. If you’ve been paying attention to what’s happening in our world lately, you would notice that we are currently experiencing a new wave of feminism. This wave is one that is concerned with the intersections of race and class, one that is unapologetic and unafraid to call out individuals and institutions that feed into rape culture, and one that seeks to normalize sex and body positivity (pg. 10). Women and femmes everywhere are taking back control of our bodies, our futures, and our agency. Whether through consent education (pg. 8,) or dismantling toxic masculinity (pg. 12,) there are so many ways to build healthier connections between men, women, and
CONTROL
101
non-binary people. So let’s do it. Let’s be the generation to say “no” to misogyny (pg.14) and “yes” to love and respect.
xoxo, Angelique… Miss Fullwood if you’re nasty
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Copyright 2018 by Florida A &M University. All rights reserved. This issue of Journey magazine was produced by the student organization Journey with essential support from the School of Journalism & Graphic Communication. Journey is funded through the student activity and services fees as allocated by the Student Senate of Florida A&M University. For more information on Journey of the Magazine Program, contact the Division of the Journalism at 850-559-3379, 510 Orr Drive, Room 3078, Florida A&M University, Tallahassee, FL 32307.
Tabl e o CON f TENT S
6
Y TIONAR
SexEdition
DESIG N JADE F BY: RYER
DIC
Back at you for round two and this time we’re making it a little more personal. It seems that a new word to describe the intricacies of gender and sexuality or a slang term to characterize a sexual act is popping up everyday. Whether unconventional or informative journey takes personal responsibility for making sure that you’re vocabulary stays on point. Because who wants to be the awkward guy at the party who does know what a D.A. is? Oh, you don’t know? Well read on to find out.
B Box : A slang term describing a vagina. Ex: “Boy, come eat this box.”
C Contraceptive : A method or device that helps prevent pregnancy. Ex. “I go to Planned Parenthood to get contraceptives for the free.” Cis-Gender : A term for individuals whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. Ex. “Cis-men do not experience the level of gender based violence the way trans-men, trans-women or cis-women do.” Consent : Explicit permission to take sexual action toward someone. Ex: Someone who is intoxicated cannot give consent.
D D.A . : Dick appointment, a scheduled time where one gets cuddy. Ex. I have a D.A. in the next hour, can’t come to girls night sis!
H Hoe Time : The time of day, usually late at night, when someone is asked to meet up with a person.
I Intersex : A general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. Ex. “ As a woman born with both male and female reproductive organs, I prefer the term intersex over hermaphrodite.”
L LDR : Long Distance Relationship. Ex: “After my boo transferred to Xavier University I had to ask myself if the LDR life is for me.” LGBTQ : Acronym for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer/questioning”.
N Netflix and Chill : A seemingly innocent act that usually results in sexual activity. Ex: “You tryna come over, watch Netflix and chill?” Non-Binary : Category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine. Ex. The correct pronouns to address non-binary folks are “them” and “they.”
O Orgasm : The stage of sexual activity when sexual pleasure is strongest. Ex. “She gave me the orgasm of a lifetime!”
P PreP : Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis is a daily routine of taking safe and effective anti-HIV medications to prevent at risk HIV negative people from becoming infected. Ex. Even though it has been around since 2012, not enough people are aware of PreP.
R
Round : Continuous segments of sexual intercourse back-to-back. Ex. We’re going round for round.
S Seesaw : A sexual position in which a man lays flat on his back and allows one woman to sit on his face while the other sits on his genitals. Both women bounce. Also see “train”. Ex. We couldn't decide who got him so we ran a seesaw on him. Sexual Assault : Non-consensual sexual contact or threats. Ex: Too many college students experience sexual assault on campus. Sexual Harassment : Unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks. Ex. “My coworkers and I had to file a sexual harassment complaint to HR for our bosses inappropriate behavior toward women in the office.” Suga Daddy : A man who provides monetary gifts to a younger person (preferably a female). Ex. “Daddy takes care of me.”
T Tap out : Causing the sex partner to fall asleep immediately after sexual intercourse. Ex: I made her tap out. Transgender : A person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. Ex. Black transgender activist Marsha P. Johnson was a prominent leader in the Stonewall uprising in 1969. Toxic Masculinity : Refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, and so forth. Ex. The epidemic of women being killed or assaulted for rejecting men is a result of toxic masculinity.
consent The case for better consent education on campus.
Written by: Angelique Fullwood & Jon-Michael Francis Designed by: Malkia Peterson Even with a clear definition, the concept of consent seems to be an elusive for many. From Bill Cosby and President Donald Trump, to college athletes and members of popular Greek organizations, the issue of sexual harassment, embodied in the #MeToo movement, has created a slew of confessions, discussions and downfalls. Despite the bravery from survivors of sexual assault speaking out and raising awareness, recent trends have many wondering if there’s more we can do with consent education. Megan Potts is a senior English student from Jacksonville, Florida who only just recently decided to come out as a survivor of two sexual assaults that happened on FAMU’s campus. It wasn’t until a year after the traumatic incidents that she realized that what happened to her was sexual assault. “I believe our generation, we’re not really clear on what consent is. We’re not clear on what sexual assault is,” Potts said. “I feel like a lot of men have
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sexually assaulted a girl, and they’re not even aware that is what they did.” According to the Florida Council Against Sexual Violence, 1,266,000 women in Florida have been raped at some point in their lives. That’s 1 in 6 women in Florida. Seventy-nine percent of female victims have been raped before they are 25 years old.
You as an individual have the final say... Savannah Pierce, a graduate student in the Department of Social Work
!
Though many schools provide information on body safety and reporting abuse during K-12, many fall short on providing information for when to back off during a sexual situation that isn’t consensual. Talks about safe sex, bystander intervention, sexual assault prevention and affirmative consent should
con • sent
1. permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. 2. give permission for something to happen.
đ&#x;‘Œđ&#x;‘Œ ďż˝
be instituted in our education system. According to Title XI: The Chronicle of Higher Education, as of January 26, 2018 the government has conducted 458 investigations of colleges for possibly mishandling reports of sexual violence. Of those cases, 119 have been resolved while 339 remain open.
?
“I think that this is a very important conversation to be having,� said Savannah Pierce. A graduate student in the Department of Social Work, Pierce has worked with children of many ages and stresses the importance of learning how to respect people’s bodies.
NO
“You as an individual have the final say over what happens with your body,� Pierce said, “You have the right to say stop at any time, and your partner needs to respect that.� It is important to remember that consent can never be assumed between individuals, regardless of past behavior, what you wear, or where you go. Sexual consent should always be clearly communicated and leave no room for interpretation. Even couples that have had sex before, regardless of the length of their relationship, should always get consent before sex. It is important to read your partner’s body language and social cues, and know that silence is never considered consent.
“
... a lot of men have I feel like a lot of men have sexually assaulted a girl, and they’re not even aware that is
�
what they did.
Megan Potts, a senior English student from Jacksonville, Florida
Body Image and Sexuality Written by : Thai Floyd Designed by : Yayri Hazel & Malkia Peterson
I
n the current era of Kim Kardashian look alikes, social media has perpetuated an image where women are expected to have nice perky boobs, large round buttocks, small waist, flat stomachs, gorgeous hair and naturally pretty faces sans makeup. For decades young women and girls have faced insecurities as they are subjected to society’s evolving beauty ideals. These ideals have in some cases proved to be unrealistic and unattainable without enhancements. The fear of not being accepted, loved or appreciated without having an attribute of these false perceptions of beauty have gripped a nation of young women and girls. There is no escaping these ideals since they’re berated into the mind of the young woman in music, movies and social media. Thus, contributing to the destruction of self-worth and a multitude of insecurities. Despite this there have been women and men who have pushed for body positivity amongst all different shapes, sizes and skin-tones. Now more than ever, all body types are being celebrated and supported. Women are feeling liberated, more confident in who they are and becoming in tune with their inner beings while ignoring societal beauty standards, they have been the strength of this movement. FAMU Alumna, Zuri Montgomery has dealt with insecurities as her body has seen changes throughout her life. Like many, Montgomery was thin in her adolescence and become more voluptuous in adulthood. Through her trial and tribulations she has realized that self-love is what keeps her strong and secure in her mind, body and soul. “I’ve learned to love my body and who I am, 10
whether I am society’s standard or not,” Montgomery said. “I affirm to myself every morning that I am beautifully, fearfully and wonderfully made. My confidence stays high because I know who I am.” She also addresses the misconception that more voluptuous women aren’t sexual beings and accepted by men because of their shape. “Men who are not blinded by what society says, usually tend to love me for who I am because I am a confident black woman.” When linking the relationship between body image and sexuality it is often assumed that more voluptuous women struggle or have not even attempted to explore their sexuality. One could speculate this is because insecurities or a man’s preference, however this is actually a huge misconception. Fitness experts on Fitrated.com conducted a study asking 2,000 men their preferred body type and found that 48.0% of men preferred curvy women rather than thin women, who 22.4% of men preferred. Plus-sized “sexpert” and social media personality Glamazon Tyomi created a platform to normalize sexual confidence in women of all sizes, but particularly those whose body types don’t fit within the mainstream ideals. Her Instagram is full of sexually explicit pictures and videos of herself paired with informative captions ranging from bedroom tips, awareness to health issues like breast cancer and of course, sex education. Tyomi understands that a woman’s insecurities can interfere with their intimacy, however, she believes that women should have confidence in themselves and be comfortable in their sexuality because it is supposed to be an enjoyable experience.
wishing they were different. Her advice is to “affirm that you are beautiful everyday, just the way you are.” As time progresses, our society starts to evolve women and are forming a sisterhood to eliminate the scrutiny. Supporters at the forefront of this movement are the women who are trying to shift the paradigm and break the cycle of young women’s struggles as it pertains to self-love. Nadine Gardener, a psychology student, is an ambassador of the College of Social Sciences Art and Humanities, Psychology Club president and member of Images modeling troupe. She has been featured in magazines as well as walked in fashion shows during Miami swim week, but the title she is proudest of is being an advocate for body positivity amongst all women. “I choose to maintain a healthy lifestyle for myself because I believe it is the right thing and not for societies standard,” she said. “It is impossible for every woman to have the same type of body and it is okay to want to change yourself for health or personal goals, but not for society.”
“
I’ve learned to love my body and who I am, whether I am society’s standard or not,
“I am in control of how I see
”
my body, and I realize that I am not a body. Sex is more than a "body" experience,” Tyomi said. ”Sex begins in the mind and connects through the energetic body. My physical body is just a tool to assist in experiencing pleasure. When one has a full understanding of the control they have over their body, body image issues no longer serve as an attack on intimate connection.” “My advice to women who want to become more confident in their size is to remember that you are not a body. You are a spirit having a human experience
through a body, and you attract who you attract with your energy before your body is even present. Continue to accept yourself as you are and work on improving the things that you can.” She encourages women to stop comparing themselves to others and attacking themselves by
In her adolescence she can remember being exposed to these standards but has maintained her strength and hasn’t tried to fit into any norms. She can attribute this strength as playing a vital part in her growing up to become the woman that she is today and continues to encourage women to create that strength within themselves. “God has made you how you are for a reason. If you can’t change it’s because you weren’t meant to be changed. If you can, then work hard. But love yourself for the right reasons, continuous change will lead to you not knowing yourself.”
Although there have been ideologies created for how women should look, it is up to us to break all of these norms and push for body positivity for all shapes and sizes.
True beauty is created on the inside, this statement may seem cliché but has validity to it. Beauty isn’t in the temporary like looks, which will eventually fade away. True beauty is reflected in the soul and once it hits your core it radiates everywhere. So love yourself, embrace who you are, enjoy your imperfections, eat that piece of chocolate cake, run that 5K. Do all of which makes you happy and not to please anyone else.
TOXIC MASCULINITY Words By: Karlyn Sykes & Matthew Donaldson Designed By: Jade Fryer & Malkia Peterson
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A
ccording to the chinese calendar, 2017 was the year of the rooster, but it in retrospect it proved to be the year of the sexual predator. It began with an iconic pregnancy announcement from Beyonce, an astoundingly out of touch Pepsi campaign starring Kendall Jenner and ended with 100s of accusations of sexual misconduct being circulated throughout every level of society–and most pointedly at Hollywood's most cherished stars. Director Harvey Weinstein, known largely for being behind the movie scenes, suddenly became a popular household name, but it not for his producing talents. It was because over 80 women have made accusations of sexual misconduct against the mogul. The secret is out, apologies have been made and lawyers have been called, but even so it doesn’t explain where this sort of male entitlement is stemming from. While defined as “ the possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men,” the meaning of masculinity is constantly evolving with society’s standards and is interpreted differently based on one’s cultural values. Gender roles have become an important part of how a person comes to a conclusion on its meaning. World War I marked the reinforcement of these roles as women were excluded from the draft. As a result, men fought in war and served as the breadwinners while women were expected to maintain the domestic duties of tending the home and children. It is important to understand that while gender roles are a social construct they have a deep seated effect on the expectations of relationship between a man and woman. The association of male superiority, assumed female subordination and a sense of entitlement over a female partner has become one of the pitfalls of this social order. In an article posted on This Body is Not an apology, activist Julie Feng comments on male entitlement and a woman’s right to say no, “Gender-based violence is not the doing of a small number of depraved men. It is a systemic cultural problem...Cis male entitlement is embedded in everything in society—our interpersonal relationships, work dynamics, pop culture, media, education system, and so on,” Feng said. According to the CDC, nearly 1 in 5 women have been victim off some kind of sexual violence. In comparison, 1 in 71 men have been victim in the same crime. However, these numbers are not truly representative due to the fact that so many cases go unreported for various reasons. They also beg the question of whether these staggering statistics should be attributed individually cruel people or is it a larger problem of what boys are being taught to expect from women as they mature into adulthood. Christopher Brown, a FAMU alumni said, “Women have been the backbone of existence since the beginning of time. There is no excuse on why there is 45 cases of misconduct [against U.S. politicians and Hollywood stars] in the world we live in,” Brown said.
He contributes pride issues to the sexual allegations, ”We as men must realize that women are not doormats anymore. [Women] are mass contributors to our means of existence.” Acknowledging the problem is the first step: yes, there is a flaw in the way men are raised to assume that being masculine means asserting their dominance over women is acceptable. Yet, still it is unfair to place all men into this category of predators. Many men do take a very protective stance on the issue and are making conscious decisions to not fit into the stereotype. They also beg the question of whether these staggering statistics should be attributed individually cruel people or is it a larger problem of what boys are being taught to expect from women as they mature into adulthood. Christopher Brown, a FAMU alumni said, “Women have been the backbone of existence since the beginning of time. There is no excuse on why there is 45 cases of misconduct [against U.S. politicians and Hollywood stars] in the world we live in,” Brown said. He contributes pride issues to the sexual allegations, ”We as men must realize that women are not doormats anymore. [Women] are mass contributors to our means of existence.” Acknowledging the problem is the first step: yes, there is a flaw in the way men are raised to assume that being masculine means asserting their dominance over women is acceptable. Yet, still it is unfair to place all men into this category of predators. Many men do take a very protective stance on the issue and are making conscious decisions to not fit into the stereotype. Jackie Perkins, FAMU’s first female athletic trainer, spoke on her experience as one that wasn’t “very bad”, but it was not for weak. Perkins said she of course dealt with a couple “knuckleheads”, but former FAMU Football Head Coach Rudy Hubbard was sure to correct all issues before they developed. For Perkins with the rise of so many cases of sexual misconduct cases bring brought to light, her mind has started to take into consideration both parties involved. She said in order for men to protect themselves, they’ve developed a protocol for interacting with women in some instances. Often in a workplace setting she said she sees males seek out third party participants anytime a male needs to speak with a woman. To Perkins this lessens the chances of any accusations because there is a witness of the conversation. American poet Criss Jami once said, “Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.” The #MeToo and the voices of women affected by sexual misconduct is an attack on the paradigm of misogyny and sexual misfire that has plagued this country for years. There will be no resolution until the root of the problem is eradicated. Sexism and male entitlement are under fire, and this time its victims are out for blood.
QUIZ: Are you a misogynist? Mi·sog·y·nist (noun) a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women. A woman-hater, an anti-feminist, anyone who believes a woman’s place is solely in the home or rejects equal pay for women. Whether conscious or not each of us has predilections for or against certain cultural norms. If you’re not quite sure if you fit the bill of a misogynist or not, take this quiz to see where you fall on the spectrum. Design By: Jade Fryer 1. You’re at Top Flite and your WCW is with her girls looking bad AF. You buy her a drink, she thanks you and walks off. You…
A
Approach her again cause she owes you! You just spent some bread on her.
B
Play it cool and walk away.
C
Complain to your homeboy about how these b*tches never want the good guys.
2.You’re at a party and everyone is drinking. There is this girl who clearly has had too much to drink. She is rubbing all over you and says she wants to go back to your place. You..
A
Take her to your place.
B
Find who she came with and let them know that their friend is intoxicated and that they should watch out for her.
C
Ignore her.
B
Wherever she chooses to be.
C
In the bedroom.
B
How she wants.
C
It’s not about the exteriod. It’s what’s on the inside that matters.
C
Rib
C
Queen.
3. A woman belongs...
A
In the kitchen.
4. A woman should...
A
Like a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets.
5. You describe your girl as your...
A
B*tch
B
Girlfriend/partner
6. If a man is a king, then a woman is a...
A 14
Concubine.
B
They are ruling equals, and operate more like co-presidents .
Calculate your result 7. A classmate you’ve been following on Instagram is in a happy relationship with her baby’s father and usually posts photos of her adorable child. After a girls trip to Miami, she posts a super sexy photo of herself in a bikini. You...
A
Lose respect for her. Moms shouldn’t be on the ‘gram looking like a hoe!
B
Like the photo ‘cause she looks good and keep scrolling.
C
Like the photo ‘cause she looks good, but think “I would never let MY girl post a picture like that.”
8. You and your female coworker decide to go out for drinks after work. After a few rounds you realize she’s quite intoxicated and a man at the bar is trying to convince her to go home with him. In this scenario you…
A
Take advantage of the situation. You always found her attractive so this might be the perfect time to make a move.
B
Immediately intervene. You try to coax her into leaving the bar and getting her home safely.
C
She is grown and got herself into this situation. You’ll advise her to reconsider but she can figure it out for herself.
All “A” choices are worth 3 points. “C” choices are worth points. “B” Choices are worth point. Tally up your score to se where you fall on the Misogyny Scale. IF YOU SCORED...
10-15 points
Awesome! You mostly see women autonomous beings worthy of respect! We’d congratulate you, b in the spirit of raising standards, w don’t reward achieving the bare minimum. We still appreciate yo though! Keep being cool and spread awareness.
9. Which of the following lyrics resonates with you?
A
“Even if I hit you once you’re part of my collection.” - Future
B
“And since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, got our game from a woman, I wonder why we take from our women.” - Tupac
C
“These hoes ain’t loyal!” - Chris Brown
10. You’re walking on campus and a cutie catches your eye. You decide to try to spit some game, but she immediately blows you off. You respond by saying…
A
“F**K you too then!”
B
Nothing, and charge it to the game.
C
“I knew it! Good guys never get chose.”
11. Congratulations! You just found out you’re having a daughter. How do you feel?
A
Time to get my shotgun ready!
B
Just want to make sure my child and partner are happy and healthy.
C
This will probably change how I see women now.
15-20 points
This may be hard to accept, but y have some problematic views o women. You probably place a majority of the moral responsibil on women while keeping a “boys be boys” mentality. Or you think women are somehow obligated choose you as a romantic or sexu partner solely because you trea them with decency. Are you really “good guy” if your respect and kin actions come with strings attache
25-30 points
Quite frankly, you might want to se some help. Your answers indicat you objectify women, uphold sex gender roles, or disregard wome rights and safety- which all contributes to and enables rape culture. Thankfully there are plen of resources to educate yourself you are willing to look at yourse and your circle of friends criticall
2:14 AM
T TAP THAT
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iMessage
69%
i
TAP THAT
Words By: Adriana Alexander Design By: Jade Fryer “OMG he sent me the ‘U up’ text girl what do I say?!” Yara Shahidi’s character Zoey exclaimed in the third episode of the new hit show “Grown-ish”. In the era of digitized dating three simple letters can mean a number of things: watching a movie, catching up on homework, or the hookup you’ve been craving all week long. In 1828 when Merriam Webster created the dictionary, he had no idea the word sexting would be a new addition to his collection. According to Webster, sexting is defined as “the sending of sexually explicit messages or images by cell phone.” The act has become apart of beginning a new relationship or sparking a fire in one you’re already in. From ‘U up’ texts to pictures of your goodies, sex has taken to the internet in a huge way. For Rashad Pierre, a second year Pharmacy student, his phone has come in handy more than once to ignite the spark between himself and a potential lover. “I have sexted before and it’s live! Not being physical with a person but still being aroused by their words and thoughts is exciting. As long as you trust the person you’re doing it with, you should be fine,” said Pierre. Yet still many people are foreign to notion of sexting or expressing their inner desires over their phone. According to a report by the Executive Summary of the MTV-AP only about 19% of 18 to 24 year-olds participate in sexting. While the number jumps to 33% for 20 to 26 year-olds as shared by the National Campaign survey. Even so, if you’re not comfortable with sending racy pictures or need some tips to elevate your sext game, read on with an inquisitive and open mind. 1. Make the fantasy a reality At the strike of midnight when the conversation goes from homework to horny it’s time for you to take control of the situation–and being direct is the best way to set the tone for the conversation. Send texts as if your crush is sitting just inches away from you. Don’t just ask what they’re wearing, take it up a notch and tell them what you want them to wear. Asserting your personal desires and fantasies will intrigue your listener until they can no longer resist. Teasing like this will build anticipation to where they will be aching for the next text. Remind him how big he looked in those grey sweats or how good she looked in that sundress; little things like this can help make the sexting that more real. 2. Pic your Poison After a few risky texts, the heat between the two of you can be felt through the phone. Next thing you know, you get a new message and it’s a picture of a more private nature. If this is your first time ever receiving a nude photo, take a quick pause before
A Complete Guide to Sexting (In Three Simples Steps) you freak out. Out of respect–and in some case liability reasons–resist the urge to screenshot the photo and send it to your group chat. Sending this private image reflects a level of comfort and intimacy between you to. At this point the ball is in your court, you have two options: A) Slow things down. Don’t feel pressured to if you’re not ready. If he or she doesn’t understand that, it’s time you left your boo on read. Never compromise your morals for someone else, if they don’t respect your wishes then they’re not worth risking your privacy for. Play it cool with a coy thank you text and proceed with the conversation at your speed. B) Return the favor. It’s time to turn up the teasing. If you send all the goodies, what’s left to be desired? Keep their curiosity by posing laying down or standing seductively mirror in your favorite lingerie. Depending on how well acquainted you are, as rule of thumb keep your face out of the camera until you’ve reached a certain level of trust and commitment. Your lover will be begging for more, but next time they’ll have to earn it 3. The Aftermath An hour goes by and the sexting adventure has finally come to a close for the night. By this time the attraction between you two has gone from a little to a whole lot! You both have shown one other those one a.m. alter egos and although seeing your love interest in person after such a racy conversation could be awkward, don’t let it get in the way of your relationship. Remind yourself that you liked this person first as an individual before the sexual chemistry started heating up. Sexting is a fun and sexy experience that you can share with another person. It reveals a more vulnerable side to the person you like and even yourself. For Kierra Foresyth, a junior chemistry student, sexting has added the necessary spice to her relationship, “It’s great when you do it with the right person. It’s very intimate and fun to do. Sexting has made the relationship more interesting and helped have something to look forward to after a long day,” Foresyth said. Overall, just make sure you use good judgement and trust the person you’re sexting. Be smart and enjoy tapping that.
Les
Voyages A modern love story of a Rattler who went the distance to finally meet the girl of her dreams. ver a year ago I was scrolling through my timeline on Instagram and I came across a woman that I had to know. She had a smile that was infectious and her profile was screaming positivity and good vibes. I followed her immediately. Although we didn’t meet instantly, I knew that our time would come. After four months of doing my research and debating if I wanted to pursue this woman, an opportunity presented itself. She posted her SnapChat account on her Instagram story and I added her.
We spoke everyday whether it was via text, SnapChat or sending voice memo’s. Initially, I had little support from my friends and family. No one could believe that I was really pursing a woman in another country. My sister would always refer to her as my pen pal, she was certain that it wouldn’t work out. I’ve dated men but it wasn’t until I got to college that I decided that I had a stronger attraction to women. My first relationship was with a woman, it felt natural and not forced unlike my encounters with men.
How likely is it that you’ll find your soulmate on social media? Sites such as Instagram, Twitter, and SnapChat are different social mediums that make it possible to virtually “shoot your shot”. However, not everyone you meet will be local. Is a relationship worth pursuing if it isn’t local? Would you be willing to travel the distance to make it work out with a stranger?
Lesbian couples naturally have an intense emotional connection towards one another; which made things difficult for my partner. She wasn’t a fan of long distant relationships; and had no intentions of being in a relationship. I assured her that I would do anything to make it work, and I did.
For me the connection was instant; I knew that she was someone I wanted to know more. We met December 2016 while I was in Hawaii; she was in China. The time difference made communication extremely challenging. We both were working and finding time to communicate was almost non-existent being 18 hours apart, but we made it work.
So, after three months of fluid communication, the anticipation was unbearable and I needed to meet her. Spring break had come to an end but I had to add another trip to my agenda, I was going to China. Impulsively, I asked her what I needed to do to get to China and after obtaining my visa and required documents my flight was booked. Waiting until she returned in September to the U.S. wasn’t ideal for me so the leap of faith I took turned into a 16-hour flight. There I was standing at the airport in Shenzhen, China; as I texted her, my mind was constantly racing because I wasn’t even sure who to look for. Although we FaceTimed and shared images with one another, I had no idea how she would look in person. Nonetheless, our first embrace was magical. I arrived on my birthday and was welcomed with balloons, flowers and gifts. I literally felt as if my life was a fairytale. My trip lasted for six amazing days and a year later I can say it was worth the distance. Make plans to see each other and go through with it. Don’t make plans that you aren’t willing to commit to. Make sacrifices and don’t compare efforts. For instance, don’t count the amount of times you visited versus the amount of time they’ve
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visited you. Relationships aren’t a competition. Fully commit to every effort you make to promote fluidness and to build trust. Trust is vital in relationships. “Trust is more than acknowledging truth and lies. It is about believing that someone truly has your best interest at heart,” said relationship specialist Tracy Clifford. Trust is a skill that can be nurtured and learned. Be confident in your perceptions by paying attention to doubts and instincts. Don’t assume that some failures in competence are intentional, communicate to see and be sure of your partner’s intentions.
The most rewarding thing about distance relationships is gaining an experience with someone new. Shoot your shot this year, expand your options, and date someone in a new location. You will gain travel experience and the chance to find your soulmate.
A month later, I found myself booking another flight to China. I missed graduations and birthdays but I couldn’t miss out on her. I left the last week of April and would return the first week of June. During my second trip, we went on a boat trip in Hong Kong. It was breathtaking. We also spent a weekend in the Philippines, marking our first travel experience together. We both have a passion for traveling and exploring different cultures. During this period, we discovered more things about each other. That trip determined if we were truly compatible for one other. Conflict is inevitable. No matter how good things are going in a relationship you will disagree. Homosexuality is still a sensitive topic and coming out stories aren’t favorably publicized. I am openly a lesbian and I have no problem sharing my experiences with women. Being with someone who encourages a private life is challenging at times because we disagree about having our relationship publicized. The LGBTQ community faces the challenge of being “out” without being judged. Not only do you have to be comfortable with your sexuality you must be comfortable being you while others may deem uncomfortable. My partner is comfortable with her sexuality however, she opposes inclusiveness. She thinks that privacy is important, however I believe openness is important. Like any other relationship we are flawed. We don’t always agree and we have heated discussions. Effective communication resolves all conflicts. She returned to the U.S. in September 2017 and we are currently doing well. We don’t have expectations so we aren’t prone to disappointments. We are cognate of our lifestyles and we adjust our schedules accordingly to see each other. Now that she is in Atlanta we are closer physically and emotionally. Knowing when to give each other space is detrimental. Once you are apart you’ll then realize how important your partner is to you.
Words By: Alexias Bradfield Design By : Jade Fryer
They Don’t Wanna B e Saved
How the terms of being a “hoe” are being redefined in the face of respectability. Words By: Naja Hardmon Design By: Jade Fryer Hoes; let’s talk about them. They’re more than just a mere gardening tool. The term is a common reference for a special class of people with a dehumanizing connotation. It’s been used to describe those who either cannot or will not commit to a monogamous relationship, or those who lie about saying they can. The ones who do “too much” with “too many” people, or the ones who just can’t seem to get enough. For the past decade the term “hoe” has become the perfect derogatory descriptor for those who break hearts, almost always exclusively used in reference to female violators. However, lately it has come into question whether that definition should still have relevance in 2018. With the recent rise of active feminism in pop-culture mixed with social commentary like the #ArtHoeCollective and the Slut Walk demonstrations held across the
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nation, it seems that the time has come for some misconceptions to be clarified. “A hoe is someone who’s free, who doesn’t care about what other people think in terms of them being very open with their body, what they do and their decisions,” pre-pharmacy student Iyosayi Urgohide said. “They’re very free people.” For those familiar with the term and its history it’s no secret that it is strongly associated with women. The word derives from the english word “whore” and birthed a separate category for males called the “man hoe.” This phrase alone insinuates that “hoe” is specifically for women and can only be modified with a male descriptor. Why have ladies always have it the worst?
“I feel like there is a difference between a man-hoe and women,” Justin Gilly, a senior political science major said. “but in general, the foundations of what makes you a hoe is the same thing.” The normalization of misogyny creates mass stigma against women who are comfortable with their sexuality, dress a certain way, or have been sexually harassed or assaulted- whether or not they’re actually sexually active. At the same time, men have been publicly praised for their sexual endeavors in popular culture. “I used to be a slut-shamer until I learned about sex positivity and sexual autonomy,” journalism student Destinee McGhee said. “What that means is, however you choose to express your sexuality, it is valid as long as it doesn’t harm anybody else or yourself, whether you want to be celibate or have multiple partners.” This is the same message that LA Slut Walk founder Amber Rose sets out to address. No stranger to being slut-shamed (her ex Kanye West notoriously said in a radio interview that he had to take “30 showers” before marrying his wife Kim Kardashian) Rose found a platform to end the dehumanization of sexually active women. She encourages her followers to reject judgements about female promiscuity, become educated about the politics of sexism and promote inclusivity. “Women are allowed to be sexual beings, at all points of our lives.” Rose said in a Refinery 29 interview. “I hope his generation can look back on this time and just say, ‘Wow that’s bullshit. I can’t believe you had to protest that.’” Although there have been some improvements when it comes to the liberation and freedom of women, In a society that is hyper-violent and hypersexualized, we still have a long way to go. “We live in a patriarchal, misogynistic, and homophobic society so in any arena of social life there are double-standards between men and women,” Mcghee said. “Women are supposed to be home-keepers, and uphold certain stereotypes in order to be accepted.” Reclaiming “hoe”might be one of the catalysts needed for women to remove the stigma and take back full control of their choices. For all those who feel the need to be “captain save a hoe,” don’t save them, they don’t need to be saved. “Women have always stood up for themselves, I think now people are just putting their foot down and calling all the BS for what it is,” McGhee said. “If you do engage in sex, just make sure you have consent and you’re safe.”
h s u r C on Photographed by: Ricardo Brown
Styled by:
Kerry Hartley Kathryn Lewis
Designed by: Malkia Peterson 22
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u o Y
Models
Morgan Faison Llyod Newby
On Morgan
Micheal Kors coat, Lingerie from a local boutique
On Llyod 24
PacSun jeans
On Morgan
Party City wig, Aldo stockings, Shoe Dazzle shoes
On Llyod
Urban Outfitters hat, Ray-Ban shades, PacSun jeans, FILA sneakers
On Morgan: Party City wig, Naked Wardrobe blouse, H&M skirt, ALDO stockings
On Morgan
Party City wig, Naked Wardrobe blouse, H&M skirt, ALDO stockings
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On Morgan
Party City wig, Sunglass Spot shades, Target bodysuit, Aldo stockings,
On Llyod Adida’s Pants
On Morgan Party City wig Walmart top Aldo stockings On Llyod Urban Outfitters hat Ray-Ban shades Walmart T-Shirt PacSun jeans FILA sneakers
y l l a r u t a N Me Written By: Angelique Beckford Designed By: Maya DuBois
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What if I told you Erykha Badu doesn’t wear deodorant? Instead she rubs a crystal rock under her arm. While the unconventional artist has always been praised for her nonconformist ways from afar, more recently millenials are joining her on this natural hygiene journey. According to healingcancernaturally.com, natural hygiene consists of the body inherently self-healing and always striving to maintain or re-establish optimal healthful conditions. A survey by Statista.com reflects this trend toward alternative hygienics, 49% of responding U.S. consumers reported that they prefer to purchase shower and bath products that are natural or organic. Aryah Symone, a junior FAMU health science student , has been using natural deodorant for more than seven years. “ “Natural deodorant is much healthier that deodorants like Degree and Irish Spring.Many people don’t know that the aluminum-based compound that temporarily plugs the sweat ducts and prevents you from perspiring is cancerous,” Symone said. Symone grew up in a herbal based environment because her grandparents, who are of Caribbean descent, did not believe in anything processed. “Many people do not understand what natural hygiene is and there are many ways to define natural hygiene, whether the natural hygiene is physical or even mental,” Symone added. “Yes, sometimes I may have to apply my deodorant 5 to 6 times a day so I won’t smell bad, but that’s okay with me.” Like Badu, Symone strokes a crystal rock under her arm over 100 times on each side. “It’s a crystal, it’s an actual crystal. It neutralizes the skin. It has to send a signal to the midbrain, so neurologically you can stop being musty. It just doesn’t work like regular deodorant,” Badu said during her interview with the Breakfast club in 2016. Dr. Ralph Clinique, the former president of the International Association of Hygienic Physicians stated, “Natural hygiene provides a superb environment for weight loss and health improvement through fasting and natural living.” He continued by explaining how it involves eating lots of organic
foods, exercising, and relieving of stress. Tallahassee local and proponent of natural hygiene Seriyah Jacobs agrees with Dr. Clinique’s research,” I fast meaning I cleanse and rest my body physically and psychologically,” Jacobs said. “My parents did not believe in store bought medicine. Even if I got sick at school, I denied the medicine and went home to my natural remedies,” said Jacobs. Savannah Wilson, a junior business student, started using natural deodorants a couple of years ago. “Secret deodorant broke me out in middle school. I use it because it’s aluminum free, it doesn’t clog my pores, and it’s a vegan product,” Wilson said. “I stopped having painful breakouts plus I wasn’t irritated anymore.” Also, it lasts longer and it doesn’t make me have body odor.” Wilson said she remembers an article being released in 2016 about aluminum salts being found in popular antiperspirant products causing tumor growth, “that was a deal breaker for me. I believe that’s when the shift happened for my friends and me. It was more sore a health precaution rather than a trend,” she added. Natural hygiene followers like Badu are adamant about using alternative, environmentally-conscious options to maintain their health. “Hey, it works for me. That’s all that matters. I just want to make sure I’m being healthy and taking care of my body,” Badu finished. Wellness is deeply personal; whether it is a mindful step to live more eco-friendly or simply to listening to what your body needs the market for non-traditional hygiene is steadily expanding. Warning to older generations: don’t be surprised when you come across an amethyst crystal in a toiletry aisle of CVS, yes it belongs there.
FIND YOUR
LOVE Words By: Alexia Clark
Design By: Jade Fryer
a healthy “ Establishing relationship with yourself and others beyond romantic love
”
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I
n college you can have a thriving social life, amazing grades, take advantage of opportunities to further your career, all while balancing mental and physical health, and people will still ask: “Where’s your boyfriend/girlfriend at?”
Pushing the idea of a romantic relationship as a marker of success can create unnecessary pressure for young people to rush into a relationship or feel they need a partner to complete them. While it isn’t wrong for people to want some romance in their life (we all get lonely,) is the quest for a partner really a search for a genuine lover? Or is it a search to achieve a social status? FAMU Love? It isn’t rare to hear people say they came to FAMU to find a husband or wife. As one of the most prominent HBCUs in the nation we often look to television series such as A Different World or stories of alumni who found their college sweetheart and attain their happily ever after. “FAMU and the idea of finding black love is overemphasized because of the stories of love being found here,” said Jannella Rose, sophomore Business Administration student. While academic success is an aspiration, there are many who want to be enrolled and in love. “As a single guy, there are some days where I would be in my feelings and felt like I needed someone in my life,” sophomore Business Administration student Kristopher Brown said. “But when you come to the realization that the right one will come along someday, you’ll feel like God is saving the right one for you.” Is Anything Wrong With a Single Male/Female? Fundamentally people seek relationships because they want happiness, attempting to use the other for that source of happiness. While men are often encouraged to play the field and soil their royal oats, women are socialized from a young age to dream about their wedding day and adopting behaviors to avoid being single and alone. Every year it seems books, often written by men, like Steve Harvey’s “Think like a Man, Act like a Lady” all feed into the societal
pressures to find a mate. At the same time, studies have shown that women often carry the burden of nurturing relationships through managing emotions, reproduction, socialization and sexual exclusivity with marital partners. This often leads to women being unsatisfied in their relationship. Daniel Roberts, Relationship expert and counselor used an analogy of a warehouse to describe how women utilize different functions and parts moving together to work toward a common goal. “When something may be missing such as a relationship, the warehouse requires maintenance,” Roberts said. “That is not always the case when it comes to the absence of a partner.” Men are also pressured to settle down after a while as well. The nuclear family is a key component to achieving the American Dream. As men grow and develop into a realm where that dream becomes increasingly difficult, they have to grapple with the need to protect, provide and care for their partner. Conclusion Prominent poet and writer, Charles Bukowski wrote in his memoir titled, Oh Yes, “There are worse things than being alone. But it often takes decades to realize this. And most often when you do, it’s too late. And there’s nothing worse than too late.” As young adults it is important that everyone is aware that there is nothing wrong with being single. Life as an individual can be some of the best years of a person’s life. Free from the emotional and financial strain of supporting and maintaining a relationship, one can truly live their best life. It is important to remember love always starts with you. An essential component of love is giving and receiving, if you can obey those laws pertaining to yourself, it will become increasingly easier to give to others as well. “Single people can be very happy and tend to be happy because they have found fulfillment in whatever that may be,” Robert said. “The lot that aren't happy often have issues within themself which is the reason that they can’t uphold a successful relationship.”
words by : Brielle Crooms
A
re you sexually active? Possibly with multiple partners? According to the American Sexual Health Association, one in two sexually active persons will contract an STI by the age of 25. There are many individuals who are uneducated about sexually transmitted diseases and infections and are unaware of the symptoms because they can often go undetected. Different diseases are tested in different ways. For instance, chlamydia and gonorrhea are tested with a urine sample or by swabbing the inside of a man’s penis or a woman’s cervix. As for HIV, Syphilis and Hepatitis C these screenings are done using blood samples. The following diseases can be tested a free STD testing sites: chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, herpes, human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and syphillis. If tested positive for one of the above diseases, you will be contacted immediately by the doctor that evaluated you. The physician will then recommend the next steps for a treatment and advise you to inform your sex partner(s) to get testedand treated. There is also the option to call the Florida Department of Health in Leon County, they can then call those partners to give them information about getting tested for the recommended disease. This call will be completed confidentially where the identity of the person requesting the call will not be revealed to the individual being contacted.
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Planned Parenthood of South East and North Florida Incorporated 2121 W Pensacola St, Tallahassee, FL 32304 (850)-574-7455
2:14 AM Florida Department of Health in Leon County
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Playlist 1515 Old Bainbridge Rd, Tallahassee, FL 32303-5340 (850)-606-8000
Journey Magazine’s resident music man, Nathan Vinson has created the perfect rebellious
Neighborhood Medical Center playlist. In the spirit of the new wave of
journeymag
438 W Brevard St, Tallahassee, FL 32301 (850)-224-2469 liberation, here are ten songs to bop to while you
SEX POSITIVITY: A Playlist of Sexually Liberating Songs, Cuts, and Jams
flex and flaunt your sexual freedom.
69.1K
10 tracks, 43 minutes Design By: Jade Fryer
Salt-N-Pepa Whatta Man (feat. En Vogue) 19.9M
Beyoncé Blow 20.6M
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20.7M
5:10
4:02
Christina Aguilera Dirrty (feat. Redman)
Minority Alliance for Advocating Community Awareness and Action Incorporated 3:13
Mýa 1720 S Gadsden St, Tallahassee, FL 3230 It’s All About Me 850)-942-6222
4:25
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Rihanna S&M
Florida a & m university20.1M
Big Bend Cares 34
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Foxy Brown Get Me Home (feat. Blackstreet) 19.9M
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The following sites are available locally for individuals to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases by trained doctors for free Ciara or at a low cost. (feat. Ludacris) These sites areRide listed including the location and office number.
Nelly Furtado Promiscuous (feat. Timbaland)
Lyrica Anderson Give It to Me
K. Michelle Takes Two (feat. Jeremih)
2201 S Monroe St, Tallahassee, FL 32301 (850)-656-2437
4:04
Virgin THE DIARIES Words By: A’Nire Glenn Design By: Jade Fryer
It has been said that there are three moments a person never forgets in their lifetime: their wedding day, their high school prom, and the time they lose their virginity. When it comes down to doing the deed every story is a little different. Whether you were swept of your feet into the fantasy suite of your childhood dreams or had a quickie in the back of your mom’s Nissan Altima the story is no less special. Because we’re nosey, Journey sat down with six students to confess their first fit of true passion.
n o i s s a p e u r t Mary: No L-O-V-E, just D. “I lived in the Village dorm my first semester and my next door neighbor was persuading me to do it for weeks and it finally happened on Halloween night.” The virgin Mary had no romantic expectations and simply wanted to get it out of the way. “Surprisingly, I actually felt relieved that the peer pressure of being 19 and a virgin was over,“ Mary said.
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well developed
Marc: Birthday sex Marc wanted an unforgettable birthday during his senior year of high school. “I told her I really wanted a birthday gift and she asked me what I wanted. I said nah, I’m still a virgin. She said, alright. Bet,” Marc said. The next day, before school, Marc went to pick her up for class. She met him at the door naked and invited him in. “One thing lead to another and I am no longer a virgin. We kept doing it every day after school. It’s great the first time and even better the second time.”
t f i g thday
bir
Shay: Persistence is key “My junior year of high school, I punked out because it hurt,” Shay said. After she tried several times, she gave up on trying to lose her virginity– for a little while. “I still remember the day of the year. December 7, 2014. I was 18-years-old. We get in the car, and yeah. It just happened. I found it so funny because literally all the times we had tried and were never successful. Then, that particular night, it just worked out,” she said.
Allison: Expect the Unexpected Allison was a sophomore when she unexpectedly lost her virginity to her boyfriend of ten months. “One morning at six a.m., we were both up because we had just gotten home a few hours ago from The Moon for a party during homecoming. We were fooling around yet again. This time was different though. I saw him reaching for a condom, and I didn’t stop him,” she said. “From there, everything changed. Everything moved so fast. Because he was also a virgin, it all moved so fast. By the time my mind registered what was really going on, it was halfway over.”
t
m o r f e n e c “a s lm 'Carrie'” fi r o r r o h he
“It just ha
ppened...”
Tabitha & Jean: Pop goes the…. cherry? “I’m like, why does my bed kinda have a moisture to it?” Tabitha said. After discovering the moisture in her bed was blood, Tabitha freaked out. She yelled at her boyfriend, “Oh my God. What is this? You broke something? You’re lying. You really broke something.” Unlike Tabitha, Jean knew when it happened to her: he had broken her hymen. “It wasn’t anything special. It really hurt. I just remember complaining,” Jean said. The sex already wasn’t good or mind blowing as most people picture for their first time. To make it worse, Jean’s bed ended up looking like a scene from the horror film “Carrie.” “We did stop because I was bleeding. I guess the sight of blood disgusted him. He got up and ran. I was freaking out and he was freaking out,” Tabitha said.
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2:14 AM
Playlist Journey Magazine’s resident music man, Nathan Vinson has created the perfect rebellious playlist. In the spirit of the new wave of liberation, here are ten songs to bop to while you
journeymag
SEX POSITIVITY: A Playlist of Sexually Liberating Songs, Cuts, and Jams
flex and flaunt your sexual freedom.
69.1K
10 tracks, 43 minutes Design By: Jade Fryer
Salt-N-Pepa Whatta Man (feat. En Vogue)
4:56
19.9M
Beyoncé Blow
5:10
4:02
19.9M
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4:34
Christina Aguilera Dirrty (feat. Redman)
4:59
20.2M
3:13
20.6M
Foxy Brown Get Me Home (feat. Blackstreet)
Ciara Ride (feat. Ludacris) 20M
20.6M
Lyrica Anderson Give It to Me
3:24
20.7M
20.6M
Nelly Furtado Promiscuous (feat. Timbaland)
K. Michelle Takes Two (feat. Jeremih)
Mýa It’s All About Me
4:25
19.8M
3:50
Rihanna S&M 20.1M
4:04
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