FAWN ROARK

FIXING MY

EYES ON JESUS

Fawn Roark

My mom has always been my greatest prayer warrior. From the time I was a little girl to this very day, I know she has quietly prayed for me through all that I have been through. I am so thankful for a Godly mother and father. I grew up in a Christian home and remember distinctly giving my heart to Jesus right before my 9th birthday. I remember it clearly because close to that time I was really sick. Over a two week period, I was in and out of the doctor’s office. Then on my 9th birthday, I was hospitalized.

When I first started getting sick, my mom took me to visit our family doctor. I remember something being said about “sugar like my grandmother,” and something to the effect that kids didn’t get diabetes. I remember being so happy that I didn’t have an “old people disease.” I later learned how wrong that statement was when my mom took me in for a second opinion.

On our way to that second doctor, I had very little physical strength so my older brother had to carry me to the car. I can barely remember riding in the wheelchair through the emergency room. So when I was released from the hospital, I tried my best to be strong and independent.

I was in the hospital for about ten days and was admitted in a diabetic coma. While I was there, I learned everything I needed to know about checking my blood sugar and giving myself insulin shots. I even practiced on oranges! However, for the first time, I felt pitied, especially by many of the older visitors. They would ask me questions about how long I would have to take the shots and how they could never do something like that if they were me. I knew they felt sorry for me, but I allowed for their comments to make me feel extremely weak and incapable. I didn’t like the way they made me feel, and because of it, I made up my mind that I was not going to tell anyone about being sick.

Throughout elementary, middle and high school, I put my best foot forward. I always tried to play ball harder than any of the other kids, run faster or fight harder. I didn’t want to appear old, slow or different from my peers. I thought I had to work harder on the outside so I wouldn’t look like someone who was sick. I wouldn’t talk to others about my diabetes. I didn’t want others to know.

When I turned 16, I went through another pretty difficult season. I wanted to quit school and change churches. I wanted something more and something bigger but I didn’t know what my options were. I was pretty serious about dropping out and making plans to get my GED and pursue a nursing career. During this same period, I was volunteering at the hospital. One of the physical therapists I volunteered with heard about my decision to give up on school. She spent several days encouraging me to reconsider. She told me that my high school diploma would be important for my future. When I think about that moment, I see how God placed her and many others in my life. Because of those influential relationships, I went back to school and graduated.

I went off to college and thought things would be different but for a few years, I walked away from God. I wasted so much time on the wrong things, the wrong relationships and placed my affections in the wrong places. Having experienced the impact of mentors, I wanted to do the same for young girls. An opportunity came to me while I was in college to fill in as a Sunday school teacher for high schoolers.

While I was still walking in rebellion and keeping myself distanced from God, I had a great desire to be a teacher to these teenagers. I took that opportunity and it changed my life. One day after class, I sat down with a young girl who was really upset. I began tell her about her worth. “You are worthy and so deeply loved by God. You should never have to settle. I never want you to settle for anything or anyone less than God has for you,” that’s what I said to her. When I heard those words leave my mouth, I knew I was speaking to my own heart. I left that conversation with a war in my heart.

I thought about the countless hours I was giving to all these young people, sharing about how to live a Godly life, reminding them of God’s promises, and yet I was struggling in my own life to live a life pleasing to the Lord. My role as a teacher challenged me to live a life poured out for God. I am thankful for that Sunday school class, because without them, I would probably still be living two lives, one in the world and one in the church.

It was from that reflection and repentance that I truly embraced my identity in Christ as a daughter of the King and someone exceptionally worthy of His love. My gratitude for His love, mercy and grace also grew.

I learned to appreciate life’s challenges. From those college days to the present, I have learned to love life in fullness especially as a single woman. People have said mean and ugly things about me being an older woman, single, and with no children. However, I have learned through the years that I cannot rush God. His timing is perfect even if it seems like His clock is delayed. I think because

I hope that when people look at my life they can be reminded of God’s promise of a hope and a future. I want them to know that those promises found in His word are for them too. They are written for us to claim and stand on. I have found such an acceptance in Christ and only in Him could I live in such fullness, even though it truly is a process.

On top of diabetes, a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with a condition called interstitial cystitis (IC). It isn’t easy because some days the pain is relentless which causes me to not be able to get a full night of sleep. Some days, I experience horrible physical pain and that in itself can be so frustrating. I had accepted the fact that I had Type 1 Diabetes as a young girl, but now having to deal with this additional diagnosis, it left me upset and perplexed. This challenged my faith but thankfully I can count more good days than bad. Through the last few years, I have had to remind myself to keep a thankful heart. My health could be worse so I constantly remind myself, sometimes daily, to praise God for what I do have. I can’t say that it has always been easy to trust God with these factors but ultimately I know God will not let me down. I know that God will either heal me or give me grace to get through this because His plan for me is good.

The enemy tries so hard to keep our eyes on anything or anyone other than God. He tries to get us to focus our energy on relationships, jobs, things, or other distractions. I find so much comfort in Jeremiah 29:11 which says, “For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” It is a verse I have carried with me for a long time. I call it my life verse because through the stress and hurdles in life, this scripture is a promise from God that I can hold onto.

When you have hope and a future, you want to live strong, looking ahead. God makes me want to live, and to live for Him. No matter how today looks or how bad my situation may seem, I always remind myself that God is in control. He has a plan of hope and of a future for me. God’s word is like fire shut up in my bones and it always comes out of my heart to encourage not only myself, but others, too.

It becomes a beautiful process learning how to walk in Christ when you really allow the word of God to take root in your heart. You begin to walk as a new creation, letting old mindsets go and adopting His promises. I look over the years of my life and think how impossible it would have been to remain positive had I not had the word of God in me.

Recently a verse has been circulating in my mind--it says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. I am thankful for the opportunity to be real and share things I often would not share. It’s not easy to talk about these things because I feel like I risk the chance of others feeling sorry for me again like they did when I was a little kid. But I believe it is by the power of God’s word that I can stand firm and hopeful in my weakness. We can all stand on His promises, and if we allow it, His promises in His word will change each one of us.

Whether people label my challenges as juvenile diabetes, IC, or my singleness, I cannot be moved by those labels. I have to remain confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful. He has a hopeful future for me, and for that reason I cannot place my focus on anything else other than Him. When you fix your focus on Jesus, you have the best vision for a great life. Written with Pangshua Riley ~

A Journey of Hope

Mike & Shauna Powers

Mike Powers, better known as “The Moose” to Ashe County residents, has worked at WKSK since 1983, and has awakened the community since 1987, signing on WKSK at 6:00 weekday mornings with his jovial on-the-air personality. Listeners depend on Mike for school closings, weather, local news, birthday and anniversary celebrations, obituaries, and advertising for the local businesses in the area. His early morning schedule at the radio station has provided him the opportunity to farm, specifically growing the now famous Fraser Fir Christmas trees.

Shauna, his wife, has been employed in the customer service department at Skyline/ Skybest for the past 20 years, and is proficient at meeting customer needs throughout the SkyLine/SkyBest service area. She describes herself as a “fixer” both on and off the job. Shauna also administrates the “Snack Sack” program in Ashe County. This program enlists various churches in Ashe County to provide healthy, wholesome snacks to underprivileged children in the elementary schools. Each week, participating churches pack approximately six snacks in a bag, then, they are sent home to ensure the children are not without food over the weekend. More than 230 children are served through this program.

The couple met at Northwest Ashe High School in 1981. Shauna was 14, Mike 17. After a courtship that lasted through high school, the couple then tied the knot and will celebrate their 30th anniversary June 29. Together, Mike and Shauna have a story to share, a story of hope, endurance, grace, the significance of community, and most importantly, God’s plan is always best.

Mike recalls the events as follows:

“On December 23, 2005, two days before Christmas, I was clearing some land to plant a field of Christmas trees. I had been working there several weeks, cutting down trees, and being stubborn and stupid, I was there by myself. It was a long ways to the nearest house or highway and the only way in and out was an old logging road. On this Saturday morning in particular, I was up there working, cutting down trees and just came upon one red oak — it wasn’t any different from any of the others, but it did a strange thing. When it hit the ground, it had some strong limbs coming out and the trunk of the tree raised about 10 feet in the air and the entire tree rolled towards me. I was in a thicket where the tree was and tried to get out of its way, but it rolled and the trunk of the tree hit me in the chest and took me back. Whether I blacked out or not, I don’t know. The first thing I remember was the disbelief that I had finally done it. Here’s a tree lying across my chest and here I am in the middle of nowhere by myself. To begin with, I struggled, lifted, pulled and tugged and tried to free myself. That wasn’t going to work! So

evening. About 11:30am a lady from the New River Fire Department called me and said, “Don’t be alarmed, but your husband has been in an accident but he’s okay. Can you come down here? Just come to Shelter Baptist Church off of Highway 16 and you’ll see all the lights.””

Shauna says she had no idea the severity of the accident. She asked if she could speak to Mike but the lady told her just to drive there and she could speak to him then. Shauna left Kendra (14) and Landon (10) at home; she had a strong feeling that something major was going on. She instructed the kids to clean up their candy making and put everything back in its place. She assured them she would be back. Shauna drove to the scene and when she arrived, all she could see was ambulances and lights. The logging road was blocked, so she had to park her car in the road. She thought to herself, “What is going on?” She turned on her flashers and decided to walk for a little bit. However, it was longer than anticipated — she walked and walked and walked — straight up a hill. She is still puzzled today how he drove his Jeep into this seemingly “no man’s land.” Mike admits the Jeep got then panic really started setting in and I begin to scream for help. After I couldn’t scream any longer, and I have no idea how much time passed, all I could hear was dogs barking in the distance, and I realized no one was coming to help me. I thought, “Well, here I am.” I knew I was hurt; I had no idea where, but I could feel the blood collecting up underneath me. My neck was wet, my back was wet. I accepted the fact that I was going to die. By the way, I was a Christian then. I was certainly not where God wanted me to be, not where I wanted to be [spiritually]. I thought of Shauna and the kids, that they would be spending Christmas without me and I just laid my head back and looked up into a beautiful, clear blue sky. I just said one simple little prayer. “Dear God, whichever way this thing goes this day, I pray that you’ll be with me.” As soon as I said, “Amen,” from the top of my head all the way down my body was just like a wave of the ocean washing over me — the deepest peace I’ve ever felt in my entire life. From that point on, I knew I was going to be just fine, one way or the other. This peace gave me a message — God just decided it wasn’t my time to die. I could peer over the log, my arms were free, and I could put my arms around the log, raise my head up and see my chain saw about eight feet away. Lo and behold, there just happened to be a locust limb that had a fork on it and I was able to grab my chain saw with the limb and pull it towards me. I got the chain saw started with this log lying across my chest and began the long, tedious process of cutting the log off of me. It tried to pinch every way I tried to cut so I had to cut notches and keep cutting notches until I finally, finally got the log cut in two. I got the log off of me and laid my chainsaw to the side and looked down and I couldn’t find my left foot. I found it sticking out just below my arm. I didn’t do anything that day. I’m not squeamish by any means, but there isn’t any way I could have done what transpired that day. The bones had stuck through my coveralls and it wasn’t a pretty scene. I was able to grab my foot and put my leg back into place. I cut one of the galluses off of my coveralls and tried to tie it around my leg. My Jeep was parked a good 75 yards up the hill, through brush and briars; plus, it had rained tremendously the night before. I had to climb back through the trees that I had cut which meant a lot of brush between me and the Jeep—mud, dirt, briars. I grabbed my sock, scooted on my side, pulling on my sock to secure my leg because it was barely hanging on. According to the doctors, the trip through the dirt and mud probably saved me because it packed my injured leg full of mud. I finally made it up to the Jeep and I could barely reach up and get the door open. I took my arm and cleared everything out of the seat, including my cell phone, and called 911. The responders and ambulance crew were challenged in determining my location, and then had to walk in to where I was. They were super!! They stayed with me, never leaving my side, and many prayed with me. The first responder to arrive found me and crawled completely underneath my Jeep, in deep mud just to be with me. She held my hand the entire time and talked to me. Every medic, responder, and attendant was fantastic! Once the team stabilized me, the helicopter was called and it landed in the field next to me. I was put on a stretcher and loaded onto the helicopter. The attendant on the helicopter held my hand all the way to Winston. The last thing I remember is being unloaded from the helicopter.”

Shauna then shares her recollection: “His Jeep was up the hill, through brush and briars and mud. His Jeep was really high off the ground because of the big tires. That’s where his cell phone was located—I made him charge it the night before. He is one of these who never charges his phone, never takes it and never talks on it. I MADE him take that phone that day. I’m not sure what time the accident happened—maybe just after 10:00am, because the kids and I were home making candy. We were going to Mike’s mothers for Christmas that I just said one simple little prayer. “Dear God, whichever way this thing goes this day, I pray that you’ll be with me.” As soon as I said Amen...

him in places he shouldn’t have been. When she finally made it to the top of the mountain, she spotted Mike’s Jeep and a mass of people around the Jeep. She then saw Mike, and says it still had not hit her severity of the circumstances, although she recalls seeing blood everywhere. He was lying under the Jeep where he had collapsed from trying to retrieve his phone. She reached Mike and he was conscious, so they held hands and talked. His overalls were cut off but she was still unaware of the severity of the injury to his leg. She reports never being afraid because God had given her such a peace and she knew it was all going to be okay. At this point, the helicopter arrived and she promised Mike that she was going home to get the kids and they would see him in Winston. She told him bye, and that she loved him, again promising they would see him in a few minutes. When she got back to her car, she began calling people. Her first call was to his friend, whose son had a life threatening accident with a tree limb, and then a couple from their church. Prayers were prayed all over Ashe County on Mike’s behalf.

Shauna arrived home and ironically, her bags were packed. She and Kendra were to attend a band competition in Memphis, Tennessee so they were already packed and ready to go. With the packing already complete, they got in the car and drove to Winston. A great metaphor here —Shauna says we don’t know what we’re getting ready for in life, but we do our best to be prepared and leave the details to God. They arrived in Winston and learned the severity of the injury to Mike’s leg. “It was bad. It was really, really bad.” This is the moment when Shauna discovered there was a problem that she couldn’t fix. God had to own this problem, and own it He did! He was the reason Mike was able to keep his leg. Shauna says it would take days to testify of God’s numerous miracles in their lives throughout Mike’s recovery. Mike was in and out of the hospital until the end of April of 2006.

Most recently, Mike was diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma in his left ear. Although it was a benign tumor, it was a very fast growing tumor and was removed at the same hospital in Winston on December 3, 2014. There were some complications from the first surgery, a cerebral leak and some bleeding on the brain, so he was left with no choice but to go back and have a follow-up surgery. He received a clean bill of health on May 18, and will need to have MRIs for the next eight years just as a precaution. Today, Mike struggles with headaches, dizziness, and complete hearing loss in his left ear. He wears a hearing aid in his right ear. As a radio announcer, this has been a tough adjustment.

Mike shares that he continues to find himself, “out in left field sometimes, by myself, trying to make it on my own. But, all I have to do is cry out, just like the day of the accident, and God is there to forgive me. He is just, restores, and heals — I am a blessed man! I certainly don’t deserve any of the blessings from God which I have received.” Mike desires that each person who reads this story will realize that all the glory belongs to God. It was not adrenaline that saved Mike’s life, nor the mud which packed his injured leg, nor medical wonders, nor fate, but the God of the universe who counted a radio DJ, Christmas tree farmer, and a faithful soldier worthy to suffer for the cause of Christ.

Together Mike and Shauna are one, a beautiful example of God’s design for marriage. They have journeyed through life together celebrating God’s best — a marriage of 30 years, two wonderful children, and serving Jesus Christ in various capacities both in the community and as members of Tuckerdale Baptist Church in Lansing. In the midst of their afflictions, God has strengthened this couple, both individually and relationally, through the miraculous power of Jesus Christ — a message of hope for each of us. Written with Kim Furches ~