The Tour by Lyle Dagnen with Marc Prudhon

“Before you take the tour of the Underworld you must make an adjustment in your way of thinking about the Underworld. In mythology, the Underworld was just a place where the dead go to spend eternity. It falls within the natural scheme of things. The three judges there, Aeacus, Minos, and Hermeschthonius, they judge the people who enter here. Some like Tantalus are punished. Some like Aecus are rewarded. The three fates are in the Underworld; Clotho spins the thread that is your life, TheLachesis puts knots or keeps the thread untangled, and Atropos cuts that thread at the right time. No living person could enter the Underworld but as usual there are and have been exceptions. Hercules and Orpheus entered and left. I have limited access through special permission of Hades. It is not only a place of eternal damnation, it is not only a place where only sinners are tortured. Yes, there are demons, there are Hell hounds, but the blessed Elysium Fields are also here. A domain of good, righteous, heroic, and those whose life choices have granted them admittance. . Give yourself a minute, then go buy a ticket for the Underworld Trolly Tour. I'm your tour guide, we'll leave in just a minute.

“The Underworld is the domain of the dead, since we are still a part of the land of the living and hope to return there, we will not reveal names. For your safety, please, keep your hands inside the trolly, do not get off the trolly for any reason once we begin to move. Be aware that no light from Apollo's orb passes the gates once we begin the descent. You also need to be aware that in the Underworld what you will see is in the realm of Hades and his Queen Persephone. Although we do not worship The Venus Grotto at King Ludwig II's them, as they were revered in the days of old, he is a mighty god, sometimes brooding. If you violate the rules of the tour, you might end up spending eternity with him. Once you become a part of the population here, there is no escape. True, there have been rumors and the occasional story of travelers who made it out, Orpheus for one, that was a special one time deal. At last check there were no deals out there waiting for any of you.. Now that I really have your attention I'll restate the rules. Keep your hands inside the trolly, do not touch anything or take anything from the inhabitants, do not get out of the trolly as it moves through the darkness of Hades. Any questions? Very well.

“This will be a once in a lifetime adventure for you. We ask that you take no flash pictures. The bright illumination will startle the residents. It also might reveal somethings best left hidden within the shades. Even though the Elysium Fields are well lit, peaceful and beautiful, your camera will not work there and will remain permanently damaged. As we enter the gates, you will notice that the air is not necessarily hot. The breezes here are neither gentle nor are they horrendous, except where they need to be. The ancients came to the Underworld after they died. Hades, being and omnipotent being, like his brothers Poseidon and Zeus, knew what each individual had done when alive on surface of the earth, the section of the Universe ruled by his sisters. If necessary, people pay for their unfortunate actions; if not, they simply take up residence here in the realm of the dead, or if warranted, spend eternity in Elysium

The water you hear is the River Styx. The river completely surrounds the realm of the dead. It must be crossed to enter, it is always considered a one way trip. Charon, the boatman will accept the coins you have each donated and ferry the trolly to the other side. The waters are special, sacred, many rites have been performed here.”

A hand is raised, “Why did we pay with coins?”

“When he began his job, there was no paper money. Second, the dead had coins because the coins were used as weights to keep their eyes closed before they made the trip here. Need I say more?”

“The terrifying, deep growl you hear is Cerberus, he is the Hell Hound of all Hell Hounds. He isn't here to keep us from getting in; he's here to be sure we don't get out. You will notice as you look at him, where he ever vigilantly stands, the number of his heads is in constant change. Most of the time he has three heads but it does vary. He only has a taste for live meat; hence the directions I gave you when we began. He's only been out of the area once. Hercules was

assigned to capture the beast, Hades said he could take him as long as he didn't kill his pet. Hercules had been purified in the rites of Elysium, being Tour half immortal, he could move into and out of the realm of his Uncle Hades. For those of you who may be squeamish, turn your heads as I give him what he requires to grant us passage. “If you look about, you will notice the beautiful glowing lamps on the trolly. These are designed in honor of the Underworld nymphs the Lampades. The lovely shape is based on the lights that they carry to provide illumination for travelers in the Underworld. If you like them they are for sale in the gift shop at the end of the tour, these lamps are available here, no where else. Ah! Look down the path at the beautiful glow of the nymphs as they come to escort us as we make the tour. We will drop first to the lowest realm of the Underworld. Tartarus was the primeval god of the dark. This pit was not dug, the pit was Tartarus himself and used as prison for the Titian gods. It predates Hades realm which is up on the next level. As we travel into the pit and turn around, I'll introduce the nymphs that wish you to know their names. The young lady front right is Daeira, she is a companion and friend to Persephone. She is the contact nymph if you are interested in participating in the Eleusinian Mysteries, that is a weekend venture. You can get your application at the Gift shop at the end of the tour. Front left is Gorgyra she was wife of the god of the River Of Pain, Acheron. Back left is Orphne, she is the present wife of Acheron. We would prefer that you just accept this information, sometimes Linderhof Palace relationships with immortals gets complicated. Just look at Zeus...but that is another tour. You can buy tickets at the Gift Shoppe. Two of the group of Lampades were transformed. Leuce was brought to the Eleusininan Fields by Hades; there she was transformed into a white poplar. Minthe was in love with Hades; Persephone was, a bit miffed and changed her into dust. Hades transformed the dust to a lovely mint plant that you will see in various places in the Underworld. The Lampades are not immortal, and the smaller lights you see moving with us are the young ones who are in training. All of the Lampades are followers and companions of the goddess Hecate. They are with her as she wanders the night participating in her revels and hauntings. Hecate is the goddess of necromancy and the haunting ghosts of the dead. She can also call forth Furies to haunt and punish the living. Hecate is usually in charge of the Hell hounds, ghosts and demonic Laminae. The nymphs-in-training will learn to guide the individuals who enter the realm of the dead. They will learn from the guiding nymphs the rite of the Eleusininan ceremonies led by our Queen Persephone, other goddess and the Lampades. These rites take place in Eleusis, conducted by the cult of Demeter and Persephone. The rites are agrarian in nature; they are ancient: they are secret; they are believed to give the participants a reward in the after life. Since the mysteries involve visions of the after life, some modern scholars believe that psychedelic agents were used in the ceremonies. It was believed that the mysteries “were designed to elevate man above the human sphere into the divine and to assure his redemption by making him a god and so conferring immortality upon him.” Lampades are the ladies you will meet and work with if you should choose to delve into the two part ceremony. The rites have a deep, long, involved history and should be undertaken by only serious students. “As your tour guide I thank you for your kind attention. The Lampades will answer any questions that you might have about who and what you see here. Remember to stay in the trolly, don't touch anything, and keep your hands inside the trolly. My ability to travel here is limited; the trolly has the special protection of Hades himself. Since he is often grumpy and brooding, don't push your luck. See you in the Gift Shoppe at the end of the tour. One last rule for you to remember, as you ascend keep your eyes focused on the front of the trolly. Under no circumstances should you look back Those who look back have a way of not making it out. Goodbye, perhaps this tour will help you decide to make some changes in your future life choices, having said that I will leave you and begin my assent to the surface. Enjoy the tour.