Nineteen - A Dedication Book

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Jude Haddadin 19 NineteeinSupervisor | Hazar Marji Course | DES212, Book Design, 2nd semester, BA, 2018 SABE, GJU Published in 2018 by: Archi Arts School of Architecture and Built Environment, German Jordanian University, Amman, Jordan Copyright 2018 Š German Jordanian University. All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or recorded, or utilized in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the university.

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19 a dedication book to all the people and places i have encountered throughout my life. jude haddadin published in national press

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acknowledgements

I would like to thank every person who contributed in the making of this book.

Thank you dad for driving me around to take pictures. Thank you Dr. Hazar for your continuous support and feedback. Thank you to my friends who offered great mental support and constant motivation.

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Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

- Lao Tzu

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chapter one

table of contents

Foreword

12 - 13

Introduction

14 - 15

Mom

20 - 21

First Home

22 - 25

Bulgaria

22 - 25

Maya

26 - 27

Angelina

28 - 29

Grandma’s House

30 - 31

Kamel

32 - 33

Weibdeh

34 - 37

Jameeleh

38 - 39

Hospital

40 - 41

Dad

42 - 45

Ma’een

46 - 51

Lorine

52 - 55

4th Circle

56 - 63

Marmaris

64 - 67

Yazeed

68 - 69

Whiskey

70 - 71 9

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chapter two

Juliana

74 - 75

School

76 - 77

Tatiana

78 - 81

Lost

82 - 83

Art Class

84 - 85

Rahaf

86 - 91

SABE

92 - 93

Ghalia

94 - 95

Traffic

96 - 99

Cinema

100 - 103

Group Work

104 - 107

Aysha

108 - 111

Germany

112 - 117

My Room

118 - 123

Shereen

124 - 127

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foreword

My favourite painting is by John Collier called ‘Lady Godiva’. What I love about this painting is that it can be admired on its own without needing to know the story behind it; you can admire the canvas, the colors, or the brush strokes. I met Jude through a mutual; her cousin is one my closest friends. Jude, till this day, is certain that I had hated her from the moment I saw her. I didn’t. One of the advantages of knowing young Jude is being able to see her grow from a shy pre-teen to the beautiful person she is today. However, If you want to search the history of the painting you’ll find out that Godiva means ‘a gift from God’ and that is exactly what Judy is. She’s the contrasted color against the blank canvas. - Shereen

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introduction

There’s this famous saying, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it but they say, “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.” You probably haven’t heard of it right? As cliche it sounds, it’s very very true. See I believe that us humans are constantly changing, shape-shifting and growing, but what fuels that growth?

What ignites that spark in your soul that makes you feel like something inside of you has shifted? To me, it’s people I meet, people who happened to have left a mark on me, some leave quite a big one and some, well not as big but just as relevent. It is also places, I believe that’s why I like cats, they get attached to places and so do I. I’m a very nostalgic person, so if something significant happens in a place, you better believe that place is locked into my soul forever. I know what you might be thinking, “who does this girl think she is, writing about her life as if she’s this big, great accomplishment.” Well, to me, to my past self; you’re damn right I am. This is mostly a dedication book, but I’m a little selfish and I’m also using this project to just reflect on my life, you should do it sometime, it helps.

So, I’d like to welcome you to my journey.

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Chapter One In my blood

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I’m the type of person that says, “family over everything�, because to me, anyone who is family holds a huge portion of not only my blood but also my heart. My family helped raise me, guide me, and love me unconditionally. I am forever grateful for them.

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mom I don’t think I can ever give justice to how strongly she has impacted me.

My mom, she gave me life. She gave me a place to stay and get comfortable for nine months. She gave me a name. She gave me a beating heart that makes me the perosn I am.

She has helped me in many ways without her knowing. Even though I always come off moody, her presence provides a sense of calmness, although she herself, is not a calm person whatsoever. I would never think of changing anything about her though.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

First home

It’s safe to say I’ve spent the majority of my life in this place. I’ve lived there since the moment I came to life till about two years ago. I grew up there.

To this day I remember walking out of that building’s door and into my parents’ first car, a very old Mitsubishi, off to my very first Hadaneh day.

That’s how much that place is engraved into my memory.

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bulgaria

My second home. Bulgaria holds a very special place in my heart. Everytime I go there, a part of me feels very nostalgic because I spent almost half of my childhood there. It exposed me to a different culture, different traditions and a different environment.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

MAYA

My Bulgarian little cousin, Maya. I’d like to think of her as my little sister cause I never got to experience being the big sister to anyone till I met her.

She is a ball of sunshine that reminds me of just how beautiful life is. I look forward to seeing her when I visit because when I do, my inner child always comes out.

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My beautiful Bulgarian grandmother.

This woman makes the worlds best lasagna, and I’m pretty sure eating it all the time has shaped me, quite literally, at some point. Grandmothers should really be recognized as more than just the best chefs of the family.

Grandmas are the essence of gentleness, love and caring.

angelina

Angelina gives me strength, she taught me to never give up and keep fighting just a little bit more, because life’s worth it. As a 75 year old woman struggling with chronic depression, she is absolutely amazing.

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Chapter One

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grandma’s house

My first kindergarten years were spent here after school. The routine is still as clear as day; lunch, basketball outside and playing pinball on the big old computer. After that I’d have “tea time” with Grandpa. I swear I can still taste the cookies.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

kamel Yes, the tea time fanatic. Grandpas have that kind of energy about them that makes you feel at home wherever you are. I believe I get my love for afternoon naps from him. After all, you gotta nap after tea time.

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Chapter One

Where all the Haddadins reunite. The

weibdeh

heart of our family, where brothers and sisters catch up and us cousins play outside without a

care in

the world. Countless memories were made in that house and that area.

Weibdeh is what keeps our family’s bond forever.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

jameeleh

She’s the definition of selflessness and grace. When I remember her, I remember peace and pure genuine love for all her children and grandchildren. Teta is a true legend in the Haddadin family. I learned how to forgive and let go of unnecessary negativity. She will never be forgotten.

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Chapter One

hospital

I experienced my first loss at that hospital. I remember that day I learned that grieving is okay and showing emotions is okay. That day, every family member stripped out of their tough shell and

just let it out.

That hospital took away an angel, but brought us all closer to one another.

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Chapter One

dad

My father taught me that family means sacrifice, it means compromise and giving up a little bit of your wants to please someone elses’. My dad is the type of person that will be there whenever, wherever even if he has worked 14 hours straight and still hasn’t had anything to eat. He will put his own needs on hold for his family.

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I remember when I was little all I wanted to be when I grew up was my father. He was, and is still a huge role model to me. His selflessness and genorosity always baffled me, I guess he takes after his mother that way. I wish to reach his patience and pure kindness one day.

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Chapter One

That man barely takes any breaks for himself. When he does, he’s too busy making sure the people around him are satisfied as well, that’s just the kind of person he is. He makes me want to grow up and have enough money in the world to keep sending him off to vacations, and one day it will happen. He deserves it.

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ma’een

This farm is where all the Haddadin kids grew up. It’s where all the barbeques took place, where I rode my first bicycle and where I spent time with all my loved ones. Ma’een is where everyone, no matter what age, just winds down and enjoys life. Dancing, singing, dogs, laughter in the air; that’s what Ma’een is.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

My family has always been a team.

We fight for one another, protect one another and at all costs, we always love one another. Our bond is unbreakable because of the love we have and the connection we’ve built .

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lorine

Lorine Haddadin. I don’t even know where to begin with this beautiful girl. Technically, on papers, she’s my cousin but really she’s simply my whole sister. My soul sister infact.

This girl knows me like the back of her hand, even better than I know myself probably. She has been there through it all, the ugly phases, the sad phases and the stupid phases.

Not once

has she judged me

or looked at me differently. This white-hearted, big, beautiful-eyed girl is the reason I believe that genuine people still exist to this day. She gives me hope that the world isn’t all that bad after all. I’m pretty sure we were cut from the same cloth because I couldn’t have found someone who knows me better.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

Her purity and her constant want to help others is what inspires me to remind myself to be a better person each day. I am beyond grateful to have such an amazing soul in my life, and I know, I just know, she will continue to inspire me and motivate me.

I am very proud to call her my sister.

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Chapter One

4th circle

This neighbourhood speaks volumes to me. This neighbourhood is where Lorine lives and it’s like my second home. These streets hold many secrets and promises. This car has been parked there for as long as I can remember. It reminds me of our memories and times spent there, because they’ll always be there, no matter where we go, or which cars decide to park next to it.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

There’s a small park in the neighbourhood . There’s this small bench that outlooks beautiful trees but no one really sits there. There are just many memories that are related to this park and let’s just say it impacted me quite heavily as a growing teenage girl. I get really heavy nostalgia waves everytime I visit that park.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

marmaris

I’ve went to a numerous amount of trips with my family, but this one was special because it was just my parents and I and frankly, it’s the only one I really remember. I remember fighting with them, just as a normal angsty teenager would if they spend a whole week with only their parents.

I remember not appreciating the trip enough because I wanted to be with friends instead of my parents. Oh what I would do now to go on that amazing trip again and really appreciate the time with my parents. However, I remember how deeply I felt about nature and the sea there. Marmaris took a piece of my heart and I can’t wait to go back there again.

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Chapter One

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Chapter One

yazeed

Being an only child, my childhood was filled with quality time with my cousins which never made me feel like I was actually an only child. Until everyone grew up and went their seperate ways. Yazeed and I were very close as children, we’d have sleepovers and I remember them all.

We grew seperate once we started growing up, until this past year or so.

I consider him my big brother now. Although we’ve only recently got closer, he is a very important person in my life and I’m very protective of him. He is intelligent, daring, bold and is never afraid to speak his mind which I really look up to. Now I’m sure that our bond from childhood was never lost.

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whiskey Cat-haters can go ahead and skip this one. Whiskey is my first ever long-term pet and to me, he’s a huge part of my family because I’ve wanted a pet for the longest time and it never seemed to work out till this little fluffball came along. He makes everything better. I can guarantee that his presence brightens the house.

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Chapter One

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Chapter Two fragements of me

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Family is indeed the most important part of my life. However, they’re not the only thing that fills up my heart. This chapter is dedicated to friends, people who might even know you more than your family does.

People who have left a very significant print on my life. I wouldn’t be me without these amazing people.

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juliana

My very first childhood best friend.

We went through a lot together and faced a few bumps in the road but I’m so happy she’s still in my life because it’s very rare to remain friends with your very first school friend. I’ve known her for over 12 years and we are still in touch. She will always be a big part of my life.

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school Whether you hated your school or loved your school, it still had a huge impact on you. I spent most of my days there for 14 years. My school made me grow into a woman. It taught me how to be fearless and just do it. It taught me feminism. I owe my school a lot, even though I’m not the biggest CMS fan, I still owe it.

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tatiana

My Tati. Another school friend whom I talk to from time to time still. She’s the type of friend that you can not talk to for a year or two, but when you reconnect, it’s as if nothing ever changed, those are my favourite type of people. Everything was so easy with her, she just takes life day by day and I look up to her so much.

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This beautiful soul has been through so much and she still manages to be the kindest, most giving person I know. She stuck with me through very tough times and I will never ever forget that. We share a kind of bond that I can’t really explain. I hope everything good in life goes her way.

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I’d like to dedicate this to people who are no longer in my life but have impacted me nonetheless. Even though I don’t talk to these people anymore, I still hope they’re happy in their lives.

People who may have wronged me or hurt me take the same credit as the people who mean the world to me, because they have helped me grow as well. They’ve changed me as well.

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art class

Without a doubt I can say that Art class was my favourite class throughout my whole 14 years in school. We were a family, each of us with their own personalities and in their own world but in class, we united. That class taught me how to handle pressure, it taught me how hard work really does pay off. Even with endless all nighters and multiple breakdowns, I would still repeat it anyday.

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rahaf

The moment I met Rahaf our personalities just clicked immediately and I just knew that we’d be in eachother’s lives forever. They say you never really know who your true friends are till you try living with them. We lived with eachother for a month in Germany and really saw all sides of one another, which I believe just made our friendship stronger and closer.

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Rahaf gets me, and not many people do. She understands me in a way that I don’t think anyone else does.

I just can’t wait for more adventures and memories with this girl because I know whatever happens and whoever we lose, we still come out together in the end. She’s my person.

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sabe

I really do love this university. I gotta be honest, the first day I visited it, I was pretty sad because I wanted that feel of a huge campus and a big buildings. Now, I couldn’t think of being anywhere but here, it feels like home in a way. It’s just a very close community and I really like how everyone knows everyone. Some days I say I can’t wait till I graduate, but now that I think of it, I’m going to miss it so much once I do.

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ghalia

This girl will literally travel the world for you if you need someone to just talk to. Not once has she not been there for me and sometimes I do take her for granted but no one should.

Ghalia is one special human that you can’t come across again in this life. It is never ever not a good time when I’m with her. I love her from the bottom of my heart and I hope she knows.

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traffic

Ammans traffic is one of the most hated things in the world for the people here. However, traffic forces you to talk to the person you’re with, whether it’s your parent, your friend, a driver. If it wasn’t for traffic, plenty of deep, heartfelt conversations wouldn’t have happened in my life.

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cinema

Cinema class really opened my eyes to the world of filmmaking and I think even opened a new door to think about for my future. I came to find that I’m really into filmmaking and editing especially. Special thanks to Dr. Zaid for honestly being the best professor for filmmaking, his passion and love for it really inspired me.

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group work

Another family here. First year group work was honestly the best group I’ve ever been in. It brought me closer to a few of them to the point that I really can’t imagine my life without them now, even if they constantly friend-bully me. Yes, I’m talking to you Hamzeh. I love them all with all my heart. I really hope we stay close.

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aysha

Aysha is also the type of person that just takes life easily. Her love for music and her little ukulele makes me feel that life really is as beautiful and as simple as just music. She has that kind of energy that you can’t not notice and makes you want to be around her all the time. She is true, true to herself and to those around her, that’s hard to find these days, so when I do find people like that, I like to hold onto them as long as possible.

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germany

I went to Germany for one month for a summer course and it honestly stole a big piece of my heart. Not only is it beautiful, but I fell inlove with how independent it made me. I got lost so many times there but still, I was never once scared because it was just safe. It was safe and beautiful and I cannot wait to go back there again.

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my room

My room is my safe haven. It’s where I reflect on myself and my day, it’s where I journal, read, and just unwind.

My room is my comfort space and it’s where I take a break from everything that’s going on. I used to be a very introverted person and the only place I would feel myself was in my room. Therefore, my room is always going to be a special place to me.

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shereen

It takes a lot for me to go to someone and just vent out my really deep problems, I don’t like looking vulnerable. Shereen is the only person that makes me feel that it’s okay, she’s the first person I go to when I really am having a hard time and my brain just doesn’t wanna cooperate, she takes the role for a couple of hours and almost shifts my brain back to its normal position. When I went through the worst time of my life, when I was struggling to understand myself, and nobody else tried to understand, she was the only person who took my seriously and helped me get over that time. One thing she said to me that I’ll never forget was, “you are the protagonist of your story.”

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thank you

For every single person and place in this book. Thank you for leading me to where I am right at this moment. Thank you for teaching me things I’ll never forget and handing me experiences I’ll hold close to my heart forever.

I’m eternally grateful.

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appendix

- quote by lao tzu.

- “teta” picture from facebook.

- “lorine” pictures from facebook.

- “yazeed” pictures from facebook.

- “Juliana” pictures from instagram.

- “tatiana” pictures from tatiana.

- “rahaf” first picture taken by loulia saadaldine.

- “sabe” picture from sabe group.

- “shereen” pictures from shereen.

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