Time heals

Time Heals…or does it?

Over time The experience of this flux Of my selfhood through these decades From earliest re-­‐collections Through the struggles of identity Relationships Loves Failures Betrayals Deceits Fooling others Fooling oneself Exposed Denatured Traumatized ICU bed unable to move Loyalties

Rituals Studying Writing Teaching Relationships Self-­‐destruction Self –sacrifice for others Compassion History Survival Sense of other Drowning in love Experiencing the sunlight The sacred lake The needle plunging into human tissue The precision The diagnosis The thrill of healing

The hurt done to others Through incompetence The life given to others Through intuition The rejection The wounding The inner boy alive The divine The feminine divine The wounded divine The music of the divine The art The Bach and Chopin preludes The children Their pain The grandchildren The utter joy and unawareness The sense of time and its passing

The sense that nothing has changed The pain in the heart that remains Of loves and hurts Where time has no bearing No dulling No calming No soothing For these points in the biography That emerge from the canvas two-­‐dimensionally And prod me the viewer Gazing at it, as if in an art gallery Reminding me of unfinished business And the real bullet points of my life That withstand, and resist the passing of time In these moments of anguish They all coalesce To form an indicting finger In the court of self analysis

The good times seem a dream Only these nodes of anguish Seem real The loves and betrayals The moments of bliss-­‐in-­‐pain These seem now As a privilege A glimpse into another world Through the heart not the brain