WE SHOULD ALL LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER

I didn’t truly know I was trans until a few years ago. I was a quirky kid who preferred dolls and dressing up to boys’ toys – and I had zero interest in sports.

The clues were always there. At 14 I read a book by Caroline Cossey called ‘My Story’ – she was a Bond actress and model who had been ‘outed’ by the media – she went through hell, and I felt that quite deeply.

This and other experiences over the years were dead giveaways that I was trans, yet I couldn’t see it. I only fully realised at 48.

I came out and never looked back, but it hasn’t been easy. Telling my mum was tough. She’s 84 and has a wicked sense of humour. I knew I was loved, but it was like dropping a bombshell. I said, ‘Remember that book I told you about with the Bond girl – well that’s me’.

“There was a pause, then she smiled and said: ‘We always thought you were eccentric.’ We talked about my childhood, how I loved the dressing up box, and how I was often mistaken for a girl – it helped me make sense of things.”

I’m a massive Doctor Who nerd. I tell people I’ve regenerated – you’re the same person at the core, but with different personality traits.

People ask why I describe myself as a trans woman. Going through so many challenges is like climbing a mountain. When you get there, you want acknowledgement for what you’ve achieved. I’m also a stickler for making it two words – transwoman sounds like a superhero!

I live with my pets, Daniel the gerbil, Tobias the rat and my rescue dog Little Elsie – she’s 15 and fit as a flea! I’m truly passionate about animals and those three mean more to me than life itself.

The level of support I’ve had from Mersey Care is incredible. I don’t have a single example of being disrespected for being transgender. At times, people have called me ‘he’ in error.

I’m still waiting for voice therapy so I understand how that could happen. If someone acknowledges it, or just says sorry, rather than pretending it hasn’t happened, then I’ve no issues.

The LGBT network has been there for me and I’ve been able to support other trans people within the Trust with advice and gender services. I don’t know all the answers, but I find out – we should all look after each other.

Nikki Baxter is a Senior Nurse Practitioner with Halton Later Life And Memory Service.

• Watch Nikki’s video at: www.merseycare.nhs.uk Go to the Working for Us section and look under Staff Networks.

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If you’re interested in finding out more about working for Mersey Care, visit: merseycare.nhs.uk/working-us