The Backlash Against All Things LGBTQ and the need to come together

Rejection, persecution, and violence against someone is traumatizing (even the threat of can be enough), and not just for that person. Parents, siblings, friends, and children who witness abuse or other inflicted trauma are negatively affected by it. This is known in trauma work as secondary or vicarious trauma, and it is very real. It can be triggered by simply seeing something that recalls the trauma, such as a movie, hearing about abuse, reading about it on the internet or newspaper, and so on. It can be debilitating for an individual, but it also can negatively affect everyone else around them.

This is often seen when dealing with families where abuse is occurring to one or more family members. Those who are not being abused experience anxiety, depression, feelings of helplessness, hopeless, and extreme guilt. This is vicarious trauma.

Most often, it produces a “victim” mindset, which in turn causes the person to withdraw from friends and/or family, or internally carry an unsettling sensitivity to triggering events. We humans are wired to be affected by and learn from the experiences of others around us. So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to realize that vicarious trauma spreads virally. The whole of our society is affected by it, even if we aren’t fully aware of it.

Sadly, untreated and unexamined, leaves the person going through the world feeling unsafe, and believing that the world is dangerous, they are bad and unworthy, and no one would love them if they really knew them.

active.”

Remember your own resilience, I tell my clients. As LGBTQ children you had a lot on your plate. You were living with a secret and suppressing a large part of yourself. You were most likely taught that you didn’t even have God on your side and to talk to because you were taught that God thought you were an abomination. And you made it! You made it through some of the hardest parts.

• Join an organization and volunteer to help in ways that you can

• Write letters to your congressperson

• Use social media to start accounts reporting the discrimination and inviting people to help

• Make videos that talk about the issues and personalize it to you, so people see a human face being affected by all this.

• Get supportive friends that understand and love you

• Remove people who are not supportive or validating what is going on in the world as it negatively affects LGBTQ

• Invite dialogue with people who don’t understand and agree. The more you talk about it the stronger you will become

And so, I am appealing to LGBTQ people to begin to remember the value and healing power of community, and actively work toward breaking down the silos and tribalism that keep us apart. Protect your mental health. Don’t make your identity around victimhood.

Gigi’s Turns 50!

This March, Gigi’s celebrated its Golden Anniversary with a star studded bash for the ages! Founded in 1973 with Tony Garneau as original owner, Gigis’s has been a safe space for the community now for 50 years on Warren Avenue on the city’s west side. Current owners Luis and Josh Mandujano put on quite a show for the bar’s big day.

What makes Gigi’s so special that has kept it running strong for half a century? “We are special because we foster homegrown local talent and we give them an opportunity to refine talents in a number of our contests in a number categories and we call them family for life.” Said Mandujano. “We support local talent with a venue for them to reach for the stars and become what they dream of. No talent is too small or too big to walk our stages to perform.”

Gigi’s has two levels of fun and entertainment. The lower level is home to some of the oldest and longest running contests and pageants in the Midwest, including the world famous annual Miss Gigi’s pageant.