Revista JM

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR PLAN DOESN’T GO AS PLANNED? with lawyer Wagner Lourenço

As a lawyer, I closely observe people’s various attempts to succeed in life, in different areas, but reality doesn’t always match our expectations. So, the process of judicial separation, shared custody, alimony, division of assets, fights, discussions, inventories, broken families, etc., begins. Well, now what? Panic sets in. Calm down, let’s UNDERSTAND IT RIGHT.

When our plan doesn’t work out as we envisioned, it’s natural to feel frustration, disappointment, and even despair. After all, we invested time, effort, and expectations in building that strategy we believed to be foolproof. However, it’s important to remember that we don’t always have absolute control over all variables in life.

The writer GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ, in ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE, makes us reflect: Sometimes, we get consumed by feelings of hatred, resentment, sadness, and we become BLIND, clouding our understanding. None of that helps because greed in its various forms can blind a man, even one with extraordinary vision. So, don’t let any feelings turn you BLIND at any moment in your life.

Thus, the first step in dealing with this situation is to allow yourself to feel and acknowledge these emotions. It’s normal to experience the sadness of failure, but it’s also crucial not to let it dominate us for too long. After all, life is full of challenges and setbacks, and it’s in how we react to them that we find our strength and resilience.

The writer BRENÉ BROWN, author of the bestseller RISING STRONG, teaches that the process of bouncing back is RECOGNITION: Getting into our story, that is, recognizing emotions and being curious about our feelings and how they are linked to our way of thinking and acting.

With this, we can write a new ending to our story, based on the main lessons drawn from our discovery. For what? Perhaps to change the way we relate to the world, ultimately transforming our way of living, loving, leading, and taking care of ourselves and those we love, says the author.

To wrap up this idea, the author, RENÉ BROWN, in her book THE GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION, teaches us that, often, the answer lies in RESILIENCE, which is our ability to quickly recover from a setback or adapt to a change. For this, resilience is about moving from shame to the affection we call empathy - the true antidote to shame.

Instead of surrendering to discouragement, it’s time to reassess the situation. Reflect on what went wrong, analyze the obstacles that arose, and try to understand the causes of the

failure. This critical analysis is fundamental to learn from mistakes and avoid repeating them in the future. Remember that each setback is an opportunity for personal and professional growth.

For example, if your disappointment was Love, we can extract the following observation from William Shakespeare’s play ROMEO AND JULIET: “He jests at scars that never felt a wound.” Well, so it’s very difficult to have empathy for someone who never suffered in life. So, don’t seek advice from that person. Remember, pain causes a kind of evolution in the individual. According to Buddha: “Man grows only through suffering.” We all have value; perhaps you are in the wrong place. The fact that someone is on top, doing well, or in the spotlight doesn’t mean it will always be that way. Take advantage of this moment and practice your HUMILITY.

Next, be flexible and open to adjusting the original plan. Accept it, no matter how difficult it may seem. We don’t always need to completely abandon the initial idea; often, small adaptations are enough to achieve success. Be willing to review your strategies, make changes, and try new approaches.

Here, it’s worth noting that wisdom comes from advice, but it’s possible that this advice may have hints of naivety when the speaker lacks experience. So, be sure to seek guidance from the right person, such as a good lawyer, a good doctor, a good teacher,

a good priest - someone who can give you good advice and help steer you away from a wrong path. Sometimes, separation is not the solution, fighting over material possessions is not the solution, breaking up meaningful friendships is not the solution. Always strive for consensus.

Additionally, seeking emotional support and guidance is very important. Talking to trusted friends, family, or colleagues can provide new perspectives and encouragement to move forward. Sometimes, sharing our challenges with others makes us realize that we are not alone in our struggles.

In this sharing of ideas, when we find ourselves in a whirlwind of emotions, exasperated, we must realize that people make different interpretations of the same situation. For example, if someone is optimistic, realize that luck might be on your side. Within reality, I can make another reading of my life, meaning there is victory in this defeat. So, we should proceed, seeking help in the most difficult moments, sharing our fears with those we consider most appropriate.

On the other hand, it is also essential to be realistic and accept that not all plans are achievable in the short term. Some goals may take more time to achieve, and patience and persistence are required to face these moments of uncertainty.

For this, sometimes, it’s important to evoke patience and not assert your rights (your lawyer). There must

be rationality in pain. Reflect on the reasons for your fall (whether in spiritual, emotional, financial, professional, or family life) to avoid a second fall.

Finally, view each failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. Remember that even the most successful individuals face adversities in their journeys. What sets them apart is their ability to learn from mistakes and continue moving forward with determination.

For example, one of the greatest physicists in history, Einstein, faced difficulties in his childhood and youth. He had difficulty communicating as a child, which led some people to think he was slow or had learning problems. Another example, Da Vinci had diverse interests, which made it difficult to fit into traditional structures of education and work. He faced significant challenges in balancing his genius.

These are just a few examples of great geniuses who faced significant adversities. Their stories teach us that perseverance, passion for knowledge, and the ability to overcome obstacles are crucial traits for achieving greatness in any field. Think about it and never be discouraged. Adversities are part of life, and have the courage to be imperfect.

Finally, when your plan doesn’t go as envisioned, take a deep breath, accept the moment, and rise up with even more strength. Life is a constant learning experience, and it’s based on both positive and negative experiences

that we build a solid path to success and the fulfillment of our dreams. However, in audacity, you take risks, but after reflecting on it. In imprudence, you do whatever you want without reflecting. As a lawyer, I advise you: you can be audacious, but don’t be imprudent. Thank you! advwagner1212@gmail.com