Jbusummer14 by Just Between Us Magazine

10 Finding Soul Refreshment

12 Focusing on

What Your Mother Did Right!

22 Hope in the

Dark World of Sex Trafficking

30 The Power of

Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Word is Your Confidence

SUMMER 2014

encouraging & equipping women for a life of faith

Laura Story Talks About

Mercies in

DISGUISE by Shelly Esser, pg. 18

justbetweenus.org

Discover...

a note from Jill

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As I struggled as a young wife with being content with a husband who traveled a lot, I realized I would only be fully content if he and I were in the center of God’s will. Since I believed it was God’s will for Stuart to be doing what he had been called and commissioned to do, I knew I would not be happy if he were home! That mental acceptance helped my heart to begin its journey toward the peace I had been seeking. Peace of heart and mind, after all, is not dependent on a person but on being in the center of God’s calling on your life. Therein lies peace and therein lies an inner cohesiveness that only the Holy Spirit can engineer. What’s going on inside you? Are you sitting under the gripe tree griping? Are you holding together or are you falling apart? When we are content with the choices God makes for us, we can respond rightly to everything life throws at us in all its shades and shadows. In other words, when we say a loud YES to God’s decisions for us, we will find ourselves content! In fact the word aye (yes) is used in the British House of Commons as an affirmation vote. It has often been hard for me to glance heavenward and say aye to God’s plans and purposes for my life. But a life of saying “yes, Lord” makes it easier to accept God’s no’s when they come. So to be content, we must determine to stay in the will of God, accepting what the will of God allows. Blessings,

just between us SUMMER 2014

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Our life does not have to be in turmoil for us to be discontented and griping. One thing that can get us griping so that we lose our joy is not crisis but comparisons. These usually begin with the words if only. Think of the Israelites. They lamented: “If only we were back in Jerusalem!” “If only” is the language of discontent. If only I lived there instead of here, I’d be happy. If only I was pretty, sporty, or clever like so-and-so. Or, if only I was married. Then, if only I wasn’t married! (Someone said that marriage is like a besieged city – everyone inside is trying to get out, and everyone outside is trying to get in!) “If only I had a baby, “lamented a woman who was struggling with infertility. She found she was comparing herself to her classmates, who all seemed to be pregnant. She had never suspected that she could not get pregnant when she wanted and how she wanted. As a result, she lost her joy. “If only I had a more interesting job – like my best friend,” complained another woman. But contentment isn’t dependent on outside circumstances (good or bad, men or women, jobs, or even having children), I have come to believe that the content of contentment is Christ! We must be in the will of God to be content. When you believe you are exactly where God wants you to be, you won’t be happy anywhere else in the whole wide world! Even if you feel you are sitting by the waters of Babylon as the Israelites were, you should know you cannot be truly happy outside the will of God. When we lay our complaints down about His workings in our life, we will be held together inside. In fact, the dictionary defines contentment as “to hold in or contain together!”

credits Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

Contents VOL 24 • NO 3 • SUMMER 14

Editor Shelly Esser General Manager Mary Perso Assistant Editor Suzan Braun Web Director Mary Ann Prasser Editorial Assistants Cherry Hoffner Debbie Leech Pat Trinitapoli Art Director Kelly Perso Circulation Manager Suzan Braun Web Debbie Wicker Renewals Manager Nancy Krull Marketing Andrea Buchanan Julie Santiago Photography Kristin Barlowe Subscriptions Jeanette Kay Barb Pechacek Lin Sebena Sharon Stonecipher Software Support Rebecca Loesche Advisory Board Dave Borleis Anita Carman Pam DeRosa Pam Farrel Nancy Grisham Susan Lawrence Pam McCray Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt Beth Seversen ADVERTISING Lindy Mason For more information call 407.293.6636 or email ads@justbetweenus.org MANUSCRIPTS/QUERIES (cannot be returned) Send requests for writer’s guidelines and all manuscripts to: Just Between Us, Editor 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 Email: submissions@justbetweenus.org SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscription Price: $19.95 per year for four issues. Outside US, add $6 per year prepaid US currency; $5 in Canada.

ON THE COVER 10 Staying Hot on God’s Trail

Don’t let summer busyness keep you from your relationship with Christ. by Susan Lawrence

12 This Mother’s Day... Give Your Mother the Grace She Deserves

Make a list of the things you resent about her – and then throw it away! by Ashley Moore

just between us SUMMER 2014

8 9 36 37 38 39 40

How do we walk alongside women who are hurting?

22 Reaching Rahab An up-close-look at sex trafficking

in India and how God is bringing hope in one of the darkest places on earth. by Hilary Price

FEATURES

30 Motivating the Messenger

Get rid of the “just in case” bag you were never meant to carry. by Lisa Elliott

14 Letting Go of Emotional Baggage

On the Cover: Singer, songwriter

Laura Story. photograph by Kristin Barlowe

It would be great if the choices of those around us didn’t impact us…especially when their choices impact us negatively. Here are some of the steps I walk myself through when the fallout is negative. 1. I must discipline myself to pause. This is not my natural impulse! I want to give it to them straight! Honestly, even if my opinion about someone else’s actions is correct, I am not likely to express it in a loving way if I speak immediately. Making a relational mess is not Christ-honoring. 2. I need to vent my feelings appropriately. Sometimes that might be to the Lord alone, or to an honest friend who knows I love Jesus. I might journal or pound the

pavement in a walk. Venting in a healthy way allows me to move constructively towards resolution. 3. I reflect. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and seek information about why they made the decisions they did. Not everyone who makes poor decisions does it on purpose or sees the consequences of their decisions coming. Sometimes people make the wrong decision because they are naïve, misled, inexperienced, or lack wisdom. 4. It may or may not be appropriate to have a conversation with the offending party. If I think it is okay to talk, I tell myself to proceed with caution. I usually run my approach by trusted counselors or friends first. The words, “Help me understand why you decided…” is much more helpful than coming in and telling them continued on p 33

Trusting God through the Ups and Downs

26 Lifting Holy Hands in Prayer The part prayer plays in leading

“The veteran climber Luci Shaw spray paints vivid blazes on the trail for those of us who are coming behind her. . . . This is a fabulous guidebook, filled with stories, wisdom and humor about the steep path we ascend after sixty.”

“With a wonderful mix of humor and depth, Caryn offers a needed perspective on the ways God blesses us with his riches. This is a wonderful book for anyone going through any kind of crisis—or who needs to know that God’s goodness abounds even in what’s broke.”

34 Wise Words Words are powerful. Are your

—Jeanne Murray Walker, professor of English, University of Delaware

— Anita Lustrea, speaker, author and host of Midday Connection, Moody Radio

16 You’ll Get Through This Life can be tough and full of all

kinds of ups and downs. Despite how you may feel, God will never leave you alone. by Max Lucado

How do you survive the fallout of others’ choices?

Next Issue’s Hot Topic:

by Shelly Esser

The Word of God is what gives every Bible teacher the confidence she needs. by Terry Powell

ministry leaders weigh in on HOT TOPICS

a holy life. by Stuart Briscoe

words making a difference in the people’s lives around you? by Jill Briscoe

InterVarsity Press Print and eBooks

ivpress.com/crescendo

FOR SUBSCRIPTIONS CALL toll-free 800-260-3342 or visit our website justbetweenus.org. From Canada call 262-786-6478.

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5 6 7

A Note from Jill Briscoe Inside View Joni’s Corner In Your Words/LOL Ideas to Inspire Kisses from Katie Between the Pages Between Us Pastors’ Wives Managing Your Emotions Marriage Matters Get Organized!

Grammy-award-winning artist Laura Story talks about finding the blessings when your story turns out different than you planned.

Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through JBU. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701. Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800.260.3342. From Canada call 262.786.6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Just Between Us is a member publication of the Evangelical Press Association. Copyright ©2014 by Just Between Us. All rights reserved. Printed in USA.

18 Mercies in Disguise Interview

inside view

IN EVERY ISSUE

joni’s corner

laugh out loud

heart to heart with JONI EARECKSON TADA

out of the mouths of KIDS circle of influence

Every woman I know has experienced them – dry times. Times when the Bible seems as inspiring as the Los Angeles phone book. Times when prayer feels like an exercise in futility. I had one of those dry times not long ago and it seemed as though my prayers couldn’t even reach the ceiling, let alone heaven. I listened to my Christian friends talk about how they were learning and growing and what God was telling them and wasn’t the Lord wonderful!? I listened hard, but faking it made me feel even more guilty. The hardest part was that I could not trace the dry spell to anything specific. No besetting sin that had entangled me. No fights with my husband. No root of bitterness over my disability. No great lapses in my prayer life or Bible study. Yet my spirit felt as arid as July in the desert. Maybe you can identify. Your smile loses its shine, your soul becomes dim, and your countenance conveys that something’s not quite right. Strange as it sounds, the closest biblical analogy I can find for those dry days takes place in the middle of a lake. Let’s pick up the story in Luke 5. [Jesus] got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and I haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man” (Lk. 5:3-8)! That’s a story for dry times. It’s a story for when you feel tired of trying… when you’re weary of praying prayers that don’t seem to get answered… when the pages of the Bible might as well be written in hieroglyphics. Simon, too, was weary. He was tired of trying. Yes, he had heard the Master preach to the people just moments earlier, but still he lacked faith in Jesus’ words. Besides, he had been up all night long without so much as a sardine to show for it. Yet at the command of Christ, he was able to summon what little energy he had left and let down his net. One more time. As a wife, mother – or as a single woman working downtown – perhaps your net is empty today. You’ve been trying to resolve a conflict at home, catch up with the dishes and laundry, finish the week’s errands, but there just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day. You feel dry and deflated, and you wonder if God has misplaced your file somewhere on His desk.

Thank you for the outstanding work you do with JBU. As a ministry wife, I’ve referred many in my circle of influence to your magazine and website. Your work blesses and strengthens the Body of Christ. — D’Arcy Maher Executive Director, Evangelical Press Association

He hasn’t! God has been actively engaged momentby-moment, every step of the way. He has been working behind the scenes, shifting hearts and pushing souls and prodding unwilling spirits. He has been laboring specifically and intentionally with a clear goal in mind for your life, the life of your family, and your neighbors and coworkers. Just be encouraged; it has been those petitions you offered in the dry times that have pleased Him best. Your heavy heart is no secret to the God who loves you. As David wrote: “All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you” (Ps. 38:9). He is asking you today to let down your net. One more time. Obey the word of Christ and let down your net. Keep in the Word. Hit your knees and return to prayer. Confess your sins of unbelief (not to mention, a sour, skeptical attitude). Get into a closer relationship of accountability with a trusted Christian friend. Do some little, special thing for your husband and children. Worship your God this coming Sunday morning with a hands-down, slam-dunk amazement over His grace. Because sooner or later, He’ll surprise you just like He surprised Simon Peter. He’s going to bring you out of that long night – out of that dryness. You’re going to experience His joy… more joy than you can handle. So be faithful, friend. Trust Him. Wait on Him. Jesus can still fill an empty net. Joni Eareckson Tada, the founder of Joni and Friends International Disability Center, is an international advocate for people with disabilities. A diving accident in 1967 left Joni, then 17, a quadriplegic. In 1979, she founded Joni and Friends to provide Christcentered programs for special-needs families through family retreats, and has delivered over 100,000 wheelchairs and Bibles to disabled people in developing nations. Joni and her husband, Ken, live in Calabasas, Calif. You can learn more about Joni’s ministry at joniandfriends.org or you can write her at corresp@joniandfriends.org.

editor request I just read a wonderful article on your website called “A Sweep of Gratitude.” I was greatly inspired and want to request permission to reprint this piece in a Christian magazine in Ghana of which I am the editor. It will be a blessing for our readers here, especially the younger women. — Faustine Kakrabah Online reader, Ghana

encouragement to carry on As my Parkinson’s disease progresses my losses increase and I often become very discouraged. One day, I picked up an issue of JBU and came across an article entitled “Don’t Let Chronic Illness Hold you Back from Life and Ministry” (jbu website/justbetweenus.org). The author had some very helpful and encouraging tips on how to stay involved through your illness. She also suggested writing down your hopes and dreams and to put them in a place where you can see them daily to fuel your determination to not give up. My dark mood lifted at once. This article gave me permission to have hope! It is not too late! — Shirlee Vandergrift Brookfield, Wisconsin

Write Us!

Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045, jbu@justbetweenus.org

A pastor was presenting a children’s sermon before his Sunday service. Asking children questions during a children’s sermon is crucial to keeping them engaged, but at the same time asking them in front of a congregation can be very dangerous. Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.” It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough from their laughter for the worship service to continue.

Heavenly Heart Attack A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his surgery. “So you have health insurance?” she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.” The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, “No money in the bank.” “Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun. He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.” The nun became angry and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.” The patient replied, “Perfect! Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”

Humor Us! If you have a true humorous anecdote, we’d like to hear from you. They must be written by you and told in 100 words or less. Write: Laugh Out Loud, Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. We regret that submissions cannot be acknowledged or returned. 7

just between us SUMMER 2014

Let Down Your Net

ideas to inspire

kisses from katie

TIPS for life and ministry

living the surrendered life with Katie Davis

The Importance of Planning Oftentimes in the need to take care of the immediate, the planning side of life and ministry can be left behind. To be effective in both there needs to be a plan. • Planning

is the process of prayerfully setting goals and then outlining the strategies, tasks, schedules, and resources necessary to accomplish goals. A plan has a big-picture vision as the aim with specific activities scheduled to achieve that vision. A plan is not a recap of what was accomplished in the past week.

• Planning

never stops. If we want to achieve success, we must be in a continual state of preparation. Taking the time to plan gives us the opportunity to think with clarity about vision, anticipate obstacles, and find the most efficient ways to use our time and resources.

• There

is an old saying, “He who fails to plan, plans to fail.” Without a plan, we are constantly reacting to situations rather than setting a course of action.

• Many

people overlook or set aside planning and allow the demands of the day to guide them. They allow their focus to shift to the immediate needs, problems, or circumstances of their environment rather than focusing on the plan.

• Wise

planning helps us to prioritize our commitments (keep first things first), eliminate waste and unnecessary tasks, and anticipate problems.

Play in all its forms (laughter, imagination, accepting new adventures, connecting to others) keeps our child-heart alive and ticking. It is one of the most pleasurable forms of self-care. So, what can you play today? • Do

something spontaneous just because you feel like it in the moment.

• Spend

time doing things you enjoy, things that challenge you, and things that make you lose track of time.

• Make

a “bucket list.” Write down twenty things you want to do before you die. Start making plans to do one of the items on your list.

• Laugh

deeply. It’s amazing how good you’ll feel if you do.

• Deliberately

schedule fun into your life. If you don’t, it won’t happen.

• While

• Spend

QUESTION: Are your daily and weekly goals connected to your plan? Do you generally stay with your plan or do the activities and circumstances of the day dictate what gets accomplished?

• Think

there are things that need to be attended daily, the focus of activities should be connected to the plan rather than being a distraction from the plan.

time with others. Make sure they are people you like and enjoy. Remember, we become like those we hang around. of things that involve music, nature, moving your body, and using your sense of humor.

• Create

something: a poem, a story, a song, or a garden.

Inspire others! Please send us your short (250 words or less) practical ideas on evangelism, women’s ministry programming, prayer, hospitality, small group ministries, leadership training, ministry tips, etc. to: ideastoinspire@justbetweenus.org with “ideas to inspire” in the subject line.

One of His Favorites The last few weeks have been so full of God’s blessings and extravagant surprises. I feel spoiled rotten by the God of the universe, His love is just too good and too perfect for little, broken me. I shared this with a close friend recently, giggling with surprise and awe like a little girl who just received a marvelous present from her Daddy. His response was perfect. “He loves you, Katie. You’re one of His favorites.” He laughed and I laughed, but it stuck. One of His favorites. That is what I have felt like these last two weeks. Lavished with love. But isn’t that what He wants every one of His children to feel, all the time? Each one cherished. Each one, “one of His favorites.” How would life change if we thought of each other as such? I carried it with me today. As I bought beads from women in a slum I thought of them as His favorite people. As I counseled a mother struggling with alcoholism, I wept that one of God’s favorite people was struggling like this. I rejoiced with a grandmother who, for the first time, proclaimed Jesus after watching Him heal her granddaughter miraculously last week. And I smiled at the joy that I knew God found in her – one of His favorites. The God of the Universe delights, DELIGHTS in you. In me. In them. Could we rest in that? Could we live like that? In a horribly atrocious accident, a traditional healer in Masese mutilated a sweet little boy’s throat and mouth. Believing it to be beyond repair, I took him to the main government hospital where we spent the next twelve hours. Ward 9 is the accident ward. A little girl came in with her ear cut off. A mother carried a baby that had fallen into a pot of boiling water. A man came in with his hand

Katie Davis lives in Uganda and is the mother of 13 adopted daughters. In 2008, she started Amazima Ministries International, a non-profit organization to meet the physical, emotional, educational, and spiritual needs of the people of Uganda (amazima.org). Additionally, she is the author of Kisses for Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption, which chronicles her amazing call to Uganda and obedience to God. Follow Katie’s blog at kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com.

Write down a list of everything God blessed you with today and praise Him for those blessings!

just between us SUMMER 2014

Tips for Adding Play to Your Day

mangled, ripped to shreds by a piece of machinery, in need of amputation. Someone’s wife died. Someone’s mother died. Someone’s baby died. All of those people right there in that cold cement building and all of their lives drastically altered in just a moment. Their realities changed – forever. I couldn’t stop thinking as I sat there about how the next days, weeks, and months would play out for each one of them. And I looked at all of them. All of that pain and all of that suffering and all of that sorrow and all I could think as I looked at each of those faces was “You are one of His favorite people.” And I prayed they would know it. I prayed they would know that God was holding all this chaos in the palm of His hand, even that pain having purpose. A year ago today, I was one of them. I sat in a small cement room in a village hours away and life as I knew it fell apart. A little girl that had been mine for two years went back to live with the mother God had given her at birth. And thus began a journey, even that pain had a purpose. Months later Jane and her birth mom, Nancy, showed up at my doorstep. Nancy had lost her job and they had been evicted from their house. They were both sick and now they were homeless. So they moved in. After lots of loving and lots of encouraging and lots of days when I felt my heart would just be ripped out of my chest as I watched my baby girl learn to call Nancy “Mom,” they moved out again. We had found Nancy a job translating and cooking for Amazima; we had enrolled Jane in Kindergarten, and it was time for Jane and Nancy to be their own family. Yes. This is the hardest year I have ever had. But, I would do it again if He asked me to, because Faithful God did not let go of our hands. Life changes in an instant, yet God sees all of it, redeems all of it, and uses all of it for His good. And as I look back over this year, I realize something. Such purpose in the pain. Our beautiful, spoiling, extravagant Daddy didn’t want to just give Jane a family. He wanted to give Nancy one, too. This wonderful Father of ours, He didn’t want just Jane to come to know Him, He wants Nancy to come to know Him, too. Because Nancy, she is one of His favorites.

keeping

HOT on God’s TRAIL Don’t let this summer fly by without pursuing God. by Susan Lawrence

Summer is often viewed as break time. We get a break from school schedules. We get a break from being confined indoors. And we get a break from many ministry activities. But let’s be honest. We’re often more busy in the summer than any other time of the year, because with the perceived break comes a sense of being able to fit more and more into our days – vacation, camps, pool days, VBS, gardening, summer sports leagues, family reunions, and the list goes on. Among the busyness, we can too easily take a break from our relationship with God. It’s certainly not our goal, but without intentionality, we miss out on the opportunity to use the summer months to grow spiritually. So, be intentional this summer.

ALL BY MYSELF Prayer and Praise Walks. Why not combine spiritual and physical fitness? Take regular walks with God. Share your day with Him. Look around and notice Him in nature and life. Plug in your headphones and sing along to worship music. So what if your neighbors think you’ve lost it! Little do they know, you’re becoming more “found” than you imagined possible. Read and Speak. How can you avoid getting out of the

Bible reading habit over the summer? How can you keep your Bible reading fresh or begin a new routine? Read out loud. You don’t need to set a word-per-day record. Just read something. If one verse stands out, repeat it several times, emphasizing a different word each time you speak it. If you’re home with your children, and they enjoy listening to you read, settle into a play area and read as they play. They’ll be soothed by your voice, and you’ll be soothed by God’s.

Vacation with God. Consider all the time and energy, not to mention money, you pour into vacations. Even if you keep it simple, you do so with intentionality. Be just as intentional, if not more, planning time with God. Challenge yourself. Take a 24-hour retreat by yourself. Read through the entire Bible (a 90-day reading plan is available at BibleGateway.com). Keep a journal of blessings every day, numbering blessings to correspond with the day of the month (one blessing on the 1st, two blessings on the 2nd, and so on). There’s an App for That. Choose a daily reading plan or devotional and have it delivered to your phone. A few free options include YouVersion, Jesus Calling, and Streams in the Desert. Commit to texting one word to your friends when you’re done with each day’s reading for accountability. If someone doesn’t text for a day or two, be sure to call and ask what’s going on in her life that might be crowding out her commitment to stay in God’s Word.

Real People, Virtual Place. Choose a Bible study to work through online together. Of course, it’s better to meet face-to-face, but connecting through a private Facebook group or Google hangout works well for summer schedules. Be sure to choose a study that doesn’t require everyone to purchase videos (many studies offer videos that enhance the study but aren’t an actual requirement). Consider Vicki Courtney’s Ever After, Priscilla Shirer’s Gideon, or Angela Thomas’ Stronger. If free is a better option for you, sign up for the 90-day Praying through Psalms devotional series through PurePurpose.org, which includes reflection questions and Live Out Loud challenges.

MY CHURCH & COMMUNITY Open the Doors. Of course, we want to welcome everyone regardless of the time of year, but summer seems to consistently be the time when we hear, “I’m too busy. Let’s take a break.” Don’t listen! You will welcome women you might not reach at other times of the year when you host a Bible study, prayer group, or other consistent gathering through the summer. Women from other churches throughout your community will often attend because their churches aren’t offering anything, and you can intentionally include leaders from other churches, who are usually busy pouring into others more than feasting on God’s Word. Choose a study that may be used by your area churches in the fall, such as Beth Moore’s Children of the Day, so it allows leaders to personally prepare before leading a group of their own. It’s okay that everyone will not attend every single gathering due to summer schedules. Follow up when women miss, and encourage them to jump in as often as they can. Cultivate People not Programs. You don’t have to do all the planning and coordinating alone. Encourage women to connect with each other. Cultivate a culture in which women care for and disciple one another. Lead well by sharing ideas and challenging them to choose something – an idea from this article, an adaptation, or a creative idea of their own – and commit to it. They can pair up and hold each other accountable for the summer, or they can write notes of encouragement and challenges to themselves and seal them in self-addressed envelopes that you send at several times throughout the summer.

GET MORE! to keep you from taking a vacation from God this summer. Go to justbetweenus. org/hottrail for summer reads to keep your relationship with Christ hot.

Keep it Biblical. This seems obvious, but if you take an honest look around you, you will find it’s not as obvicontinued on p 33

just between us SUMMER 2014

JUST ME & MY FRIENDS

Circle in Prayer. Slow down in your straight-line rush through summer to circle up with friends in regular prayer. Meet at the park on a weekly basis, taking turns watching children as the rest of your circle prays. Create a private Facebook group where you post prayer requests, praises, Scripture verses, and written-out-loud prayers to share the intimacy of prayer journeys. Do life in prayer together.

conflict. They have since the beginning of time. It’s part of being a family. As a matter of fact, your relationship is normal. It’s probably better than normal.” I sat for a moment and let her words soak in, realizing that these were words I’d needed to hear for years.

Comparison Kills Joy

thisMot her’sDay... Give your mother the grace she deserves.

I have one memory that stands out above all the rest from my youngest days of childhood. When I was four years old, a belt sander taught me that my mother loved me. You see, my mom made woodcrafts, and I’d been “helping” her while she sanded something down, cleaning off the sawdust from the table and the floor. But in a not-sosmart moment, I also decided to clean the (powered-on) sander. The cloth I was using to dust got stuck in the rotating belt, and my finger quickly followed. The sander took off my fingernail, and most of the skin beneath it. I began to sob. My mom turned off the sander as quickly as she could, and as tears rolled down my eyes, her soft, strong arms carried me from the basement up to the living room. We sat in the big pink chair in our living room for what felt like an eternity, my mom rocking me back and forth, holding a cloth to my hand, me crying, and eventually, her crying as well.

That’s the kind of mom my mother is. She still feels my pain so deeply. When I’m hurting, she’s hurting. I’ll never forget that first day I experienced my mom weep over me in love. I’ve grown up, and my finger (and its nail) are fine now. But as childhood faded away, my adolescent and young adult years proved more difficult for me and my mom. You see, it was those “Big Ten” years. The years where everything changes: between ages 15 and 25. I got my driver’s license, went to college, broke some hearts, got my heart broken, changed my major, forgot to call my mom on her birthday, changed my major, graduated, came home, moved out, dated (a lot), changed jobs, moved, and watched my mom go from a mother of three girls to a grandmother of six grandchildren (all my sisters’ kids). The past ten years have opened up ample experiences for disputes, and for wounds. We’ve worked through a lot, and God has healed both our hurts in many ways. But, sometimes there’s still a…tension. Does that make sense? I was talking to my sister, Erin, about all of this, and I asked her if she thought Mom and I would ever have a completely normal relationship. She looked at me and shook her head. “Do you know any females who have a ‘normal’ relationship with their mothers? Moms and daughters have

MUST-READ

for Christians seeking a fresh look at the living, breathing

CHRIST. —Josh D. McDowell, author and speaker

Matt Mikalatos reimagines familiar Gospel stories including the prodigal son, the good Samaritan, the feeding of the 5,000, the death and resurrection of Jesus, and more. Matt Mikalatos is the author of My Imaginary Jesus and Night of the Living Dead Christian, and has been on staff with Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) for fifteen years. Matt and his family reside near Portland, Oregon.

www.mikalatos.com

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continued on p 41

just between us SUMMER 2014

by Ashley Moore

I’d spent more time than I’d like to admit clutching onto envy and hopelessness, subtly comparing my relationship with my mother to what I thought it should be. But my constant disappointment in anything less than perfection has done nothing but cause more hurt. It’s been life-killing, and void of the grace God gives me each day, both for myself and for others. Moms deserve respect, and they deserve grace – just like the rest of us. As a matter of fact, they probably deserve it even more. A mom’s job is a constant one. I did the math the other day and realized I’ve been the cause of thousands of hours of lost sleep for my mother for the last 27 years. When I was a baby, I had colic. I cried through the night. A lot. In elementary school I went through a span of several years where my mom didn’t make it to morning without me coming into my parents’ room, scared of monsters and darkness, begging to sleep in her warm bed. And I spent the majority of my teen years staying out later than she would have liked. For my mom, there’s no such thing as restful sleep when she knows I’m not in my bed yet. And that’s just the beginning of the ways that mothers make sacrifices for their daughters. Yet, in all of this, I’ve had the audacity to spend the majority of my time forgetting about those kinds of sacrifices and, instead, using my brain space to keep a safely tucked away grocery list of the times when things didn’t go as I wanted. I’m putting an end to this. In fact, I have a step-by-step plan for it: 1. I’m going to make a list of all the events from my past that I’ve resented, and all the disappointments I’ve selfishly clutched to my chest. 2. I’m going to stop seeing myself as a martyr. 3. I’m going to pray for God to forgive me for the ways I’ve refused to let things go in the past. 4. And then, I’m going to throw that list in the trash. My mom is a beautiful woman. She’s artistic, she’s caring, she’s absolutely brilliant (she has three master’s degrees – count them – three). She led me to Christ when I was four years old. In college when I needed my wisdom teeth out, she and my dad drove 16 hours roundtrip to come up on a Saturday and drive me home. Without my mom, I would have no love for Johnny Cash, Vincent Van Gogh, Murder, She Wrote, or old Matlock reruns. She read me every word of every page of every Little House on the Prairie. She lifts me up in prayer constantly, and when I ask her to pray for something, she does it right there and then – either in person or over the phone. Last month, my mom bought me my wedding dress. It was a sweet, much-prayed-for moment in our relationship – a moment where we could both celebrate the coming of this next chapter in our lives. These are the things I’m going to focus on: the here and now. The ways God has healed our relationship. And the ways God has used my mother to challenge me to become more like Christ (and/or, more like my mother). But it’s time to recall the moments where my mother wept over my pain, and celebrated with my joy. It’s also time I let the other stuff go – completely.

letting go of

emotional baggage

sider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” I presented my case to God and our conversation went something like this:

God: Lisa, I knew that case would eventually get

too heavy for you to carry alone. Show me what’s in it.

Lisa: Okay, Lord, but it’s ugly. God: Let’s see it anyway. Perhaps I can help you

downsize a bit. Piece-by-piece God began helping me to unpack my case and all the things that were invading the sacred place He longed to create in my heart.

I’ve never been one to carry purses. There is, however, one tote I own that I’ve carried around for years. I call it the “just-in case” bag. Perhaps you’re familiar with this case, and possibly even have one of your own! Within my just-in case I hold things like, hurts, disappointments, resentments, grudges, old sinful patterns, negative thoughts, harsh and painful memories, and even old, dying, or unhealthy relationships. Would you believe that within my case I even have a big picture album to keep faces of my offenders firmly planted in my mind’s eye? To make sure I don’t forget any of these things I have a thick tablet where I keep an up-to-date record of the wrongs done to me just in case I might need that record to defend myself. There’s also an old tape recorder stored there so that at any given moment I can replay some of the conversations that have hurt me. But recently this case began to get very heavy. I knew there were things I was holding onto that the Lord wanted me to let go of, but I had grown attached to them. I had to ask myself why it was so important to hold onto all of these things. The answer came with a rush of emotion in a conversation I shared with my Lord one day in my prayer closet. My just in case had become so large that it was beginning to crowd the space. The Lord directed me to Phil. 3:12-17, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not con-

pointed again.

God: Lisa, do you trust Me? Lisa: Much to my shame, Lord, I have to admit that there are obviously a few areas where I don’t.

God: Do you know what the opposite of trust is, Lisa? Doubt. Doubt is the soil in which fear grows. What are you afraid of?

Lisa: I’m afraid that you won’t protect or defend me

when the time comes. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of being taken advantage of, abused, or taken for granted as I have been so many times when serving You. There have been times when I’ve been disappointed… especially by your children.

God:

Lisa: Yes, Lord. You have provided for me in all sorts of ways. You have

Lisa: Why? God: To accomplish

God: Good Lisa! Now back to that “just in case” that you carry.

Don’t you think I know all about this? I haven’t promised that I’ll never allow any pain or sorrow or hurt or disappointment in your life. Remember, I watched my own Son suffer at the hands of my children. He stood silent while they rejected and abused and betrayed and denied Him. And do you know why?

my greater purpose. Lisa, trust Me for the bigger picture in your life too. Remember…“I Am.”

watched over me and protected me when I’ve likely not even realized it. You have walked with me through years of grueling ministry and have been there to encourage me and lift me up when I’ve become weary from warfare. You have validated me and cheered me on and encouraged me with Your Word. You have walked with me through the valley of the shadow of the death of my son. You have always been faithful. “Great is your faithfulness” (Lam. 3:23).

There’s no need for that once you’ve learned to trust Me. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” (1 Jn. 4:18).

• Admit

your fears. “Perfect love drives out fear” (1 Jn. 4:18).

• Be

honest with Him. “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Ps. 62:8).

• “Cast

all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7; Ps. 55:22).

• Reflect

on His faithfulness. (Lam. 3:22, 23)

• Let

go of things not worth your time, effort, or energy. Forget the past; choose not to remember; stop talking about the offense; keep no records of wrongs; let go of the grip these things have on you.

• Don’t

simply empty your case; allow God to re-fill it with His goodness (Phil 4:8).

• Rest

your case. Leave it in the hands of the One who knows exactly what to do with it.

Lisa: Lord, thank You for this reminder of who You

are. I know that one day all wrongs will be made right. Justice will be done. You will rise and every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. You will have the final word. Lord, on that day I will humbly approach Your throne and fall at Your feet because I’ll see myself as I really am, and I will see You for who You are. Father, I do trust that when You remain silent there’s a greater purpose unfolding. With Job I declare, “I know that my Redeemer lives,” (Job 19:25), and one day I’ll see for myself that He rules the earth! And there I rest my case! How about you? Have you put your confidence in Him? Yes, it’s risky to trust God. Trusting in God requires surrender and often sacrifice. But you will be resting in the hands of the One who knows you best and loves you most. And it will be such a relief to get rid of that “just in case” bag that’s been weighing you down! z

Lisa Elliott is a popular speaker and author of The Ben Ripple: Choosing to Live Through Loss with Purpose. She and her husband, David, have four children (one now in heaven), and live in London, Ontario, Canada. Visit Lisa at lisaelliottstraightfromtheheart.webs.com.

just between us SUMMER 2014

Get rid of the “just in case” bag you were never meant to carry. by Lisa Elliott

God: Why were you hanging onto all of this? Lisa: Just in case I might need it again someday. God: Why would you need it? Lisa: Because I don’t ever want to get hurt or disap-

I Am your Defender. Trust that I have your back. Think of Job and Joshua, and Moses and David as they fought my battles. Trust that there are times when I’ll ask you to stand firm in the battle and to remain silent. And other times I’ll grant you the freedom to speak My truth in love. I Am a Just God. One day I will right all the wrongs. Trust that vengeance is mine (Rom. 12:19). I Am Hope. Trust me when you have been disappointed and have lost your hope. Hope in Me does not disappoint. Others will let you down. Things of this world will let you down. And for the record, this world is supposed to disappoint you in order to remind you that you were made for another world (Heb. 13:14). I Am the Living Word. I have put my words in your mouth and cover you with the shadow of my hand. Trust that I will give you the words to say when the time comes. And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit (Mk. 13:11-13). I Am your Redeemer. Trust that I have your best interests at heart. For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you…plans to give you hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). I Am unchanging amid all the change in your life. Trust that I am using the changes at and around you to transform you into My likeness (Rom. 8:28-29). I Am your Strength. Trust that My grace is sufficient for you. In your weakness My strength will be perfected (2 Cor. 12:9). I Am Close to the Brokenhearted. I Am the Great Physician, Healer, and your Comforter. Trust me when your heart is broken. I save those who are crushed in spirit (Ps. 34:18). Trust Me. Put your confidence in me. Being confident of this, that I began a good work in you and I will carry it on to completion (Phil. 1:6). You will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living (Ps 27:13). I Am faithful. I Am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Maybe you should take some time to reflect and focus on Me instead of holding onto things of the past that are not life-giving. Trust that I live in the present. I have a purpose for your past and hold your future in my nail-scarred hands.

how to present your case to the Lord

Make God’s presence your passion. How? Be more sponge and less rock. Place a rock in the ocean, and what happens? Its surface gets wet, but the interior remains untouched. Yet place a sponge in the ocean, and notice the change. It absorbs the water. The ocean penetrates every pore and alters the essence of the sponge. God surrounds us in the same way the Pacific surrounds an ocean floor pebble. He is everywhere – above, below, on all sides. We choose our response – rock or sponge? Resist or receive? Everything within you says harden the heart. Run from God; resist God; blame God. But be careful. Hard hearts never heal. Spongy ones do. Open every pore of your soul to God’s presence. Here’s how.

Lay claim to the nearness of God. “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). Grip this promise like the parachute it is. Repeat it to yourself over and over until it trumps the voices of fear and angst. You may lose the sense of God’s presence. Job did. “But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him” (Job 23:8–9). Job felt far from God. Yet in spite of his inability to feel God, Job resolved, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold” (v. 10). What gritty determination. Difficult days demand decisions of faith.

You’ll Get Through This Melanie Jasper says her son, Cooper, was born with a smile on his face. He won the hearts of every person he knew: his three older sisters, parents, grandparents, teachers, and friends. His father, JJ, confessing partiality, calls him a practically perfect child. And Cooper was born to the perfect family. Farm-dwelling, fun-loving, God-seeking, and Christ-hungry, JJ and Melanie poured their hearts into their four children. JJ cherished every moment he had with his only son. That’s why they were riding in the dune buggy on July 17, 2009. They intended to cut the grass together, but the lawn mower needed a spark plug. While Melanie drove to town to buy one, JJ and five-year-old Cooper seized the opportunity for a quick ride. They had done this a thousand times, zipping down a dirt road in a roll cage cart. The ride was nothing new. But the flip was. On a completely level road with Cooper safely buckled in, JJ made a circle, and the buggy rolled over. Cooper was unresponsive. JJ called 911, then Melanie. “There has been an accident,” he told her. “I don’t think Cooper is going to make it.” The next hours were every parent’s worst nightmare: ambulance, ER, sobs, and shock. And finally the news. Cooper had passed from this life into heaven. JJ and Melanie found themselves doing the unthinkable: selecting a casket, planning a funeral, and envisioning life without their only son. JJ told me, “There is no class or book on this planet that can prepare you to have your five-year-old son die in your arms . . . We know what the bottom looks like.” In Joseph’s case he discovered what the auction block of Egypt looked like. The favored son of Jacob found himself prodded and pricked, exam-

ined for fleas, and pushed about like a donkey. Potiphar, an Egyptian officer, bought him. Joseph didn’t speak the language or know the culture. The food was strange, the work was grueling, and the odds were against him. So we turn the page and brace for the worst. The next chapter in his story will describe Joseph’s consequential plunge into addiction, anger, or despair, right? Wrong. “The Lord was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian” (Gen. 39:2). Joseph arrived in Egypt with nothing but the clothes on his back and the call of God on his heart. Yet by the end of four verses, he was running the house of the man who ran security for Pharaoh. How do we explain this turnaround? Simple. God was with him. Any chance He’d be the same for you? Here you are in your version of Egypt. It feels foreign. You don’t know the language. You never studied the vocabulary of crisis. You feel far from home, all alone. Money gone. Expectations dashed. Friends vanished. Who’s left? God is. You will never go where God is not. Envision the next few hours of your life. Where will you find yourself? In a school? God indwells the classroom. On the highways? His presence lingers among the traffic. In the hospital operating room, the executive boardroom, the in-laws’ living room, the funeral home? God will be there. “He is not far from any one of us” (Acts 17:27).

Pray your pain out. Pound the table. March up and down the lawn. It’s time for tenacious, honest prayers. Angry at God? Disappointed with His strategy? Ticked off at His choices? Let Him have it! Jeremiah did. This ancient prophet pastored Jerusalem during a time of economic collapse and political upheaval. Invasion. Exile. Hunger. Death. Jeremiah saw it all. He so filled his devotions with complaints that his prayer journal is called Lamentations. [God] has led me and made me walk in darkness and not in light. Surely He has turned His hand against me time and time again throughout the day. He has aged my flesh and my skin, and broken my bones. He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and woe. He has set me in dark places like the dead of long ago. He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out; he has made my chain heavy. Even when I cry and shout, he shuts out my prayer (3:2-8). Jeremiah infused five chapters with this type of fury. Summarize the bulk of his book with one line: this life is rotten! Why would God place Lamentations in the Bible? Might it be to convince you to follow Jeremiah’s example?

Lean on God’s people. Cancel your escape to the Himalayas. Forget the deserted island. This is no time to be a hermit. Be a barnacle on the boat of God’s church. “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matt. 18:20). Would the sick avoid the hospital? The hungry avoid the food pantry? The discouraged abandon God’s Hope Distribution Center? Only at great risk. His people purvey His presence. My wife did something similar. Years ago Denalyn battled a dark cloud of depression. Every day was gray. Her life was loud and busy – two kids in elementary school, a third in kindergarten, and a husband who didn’t know how to get off the airplane and stay home. The days took their toll. Depression can buckle the knees of the best of us, but it can be especially difficult for the wife of a pastor. Congregants expect her to radiate joy and bite bullets. But Denalyn, to her credit, has never been one to play games. On a given Sunday when the depression was suffocating, she armed herself with honesty and went to church. If people ask me how I am doing, I’m going to tell them. She answered each “How are you?” with a candid “Not well. I’m depressed. Will you pray for me?” Casual chats became long conversations. Brief hellos became heartfelt moments of ministry. By the time she left the worship service, she had enlisted dozens of people to hold up her arms in the battle of prayer. She traces the healing of her depression to that Sunday morning service. She found God’s presence amid God’s people. So did JJ. His hurts are still deep, but his faith is deeper still. Whenever he tells the story of losing Cooper, he says this: “We know what the bottom looks like, and we know who is waiting there – Jesus Christ.” He’s waiting on you, my friend. If Joseph’s story is any precedent, God can use Egypt to teach you that He is with you. Your family may be gone. Your supporters may have left. Your counselor may be silent. But God has not budged. His promise still stands: “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go” (Gen. 28:15). z Excerpt from You’ll Get Through This: Hope and Help for Your Turbulent Times by Max Lucado. Copyright ©2013, Thomas Nelson, Nashville, TN. ThomasNelson.com. Used by permission.

Get more! about keeping hope alive during your turbulent times. Go to justbetweenus.org/getthrough to read an encouraging “Survivor’s Creed” from author Max Lucado that he uses to encourage others through tough times.

just between us SUMMER 2014

ALONE BUT NOT ALL ALONE. by Max Lucado

Cling to His character. Quarry from your Bible a list of the deep qualities of God, and press them into your heart. My list reads like this: “He is still sovereign. He still knows my name. Angels still respond to His call. The hearts of rulers still yield at His bidding. The death of Jesus still saves souls. The Spirit of God still indwells saints. Heaven is still only heartbeats away. The grave is still temporary housing. God is still faithful. He is not caught off guard. He uses everything for His glory and my ultimate good. He uses tragedy to accomplish His will, and His will is right, holy, and perfect. Sorrow may come with the night, but joy comes with the morning. God bears fruit in the midst of affliction.” When JJ Jasper told his oldest daughter about Cooper’s death, he prepared her by saying, “I need you to hold on to everything you know of who God is, because I have some really tough news to tell you.” What valuable counsel!

Go ahead and file your grievance. God will not turn away at your anger. Even Jesus offered up prayers with “fervent cries and tears” (Heb. 5:7). It is better to shake a fist at God than to turn your back on Him.

faith conversations

Mercies in Disguise Grammy-awardwinning artist Laura Story talks about finding God’s blessings when our world is shaken.

just between us SUMMER 2014

by Shelly Esser

photo by Kristin Barlowe

er artists. More importantly, it has – like all of Laura’s songs – helped people all over the world worship and trust our magnificent God. She continues to write music that blends corporate and personal worship. Laura is also balancing her music career with her position at 4,000-member Perimeter Church in Atlanta, Ga., where she is worship leader. Currently, she is finishing up a 40 city-wide tour with Casting Crowns. In 2012, Laura and Martin welcomed the birth of their first child, Josephine (Josie) Grace. God has indeed poured out grace in the gift of their daughter who has lifted both of their spirits. Both Martin and Josie travel with Laura. Recently, Laura found out she is expecting twins in October! JBU had the opportunity to sit down with Laura before a concert recently, to talk about what it means to walk through the tough stuff of life hanging on to the promises of God.

JBU: How did you get interested in writing worship songs?

Laura: I didn’t start writing until my late teens and early 20’s. “Indescribable” was one of the first songs I wrote so I can’t say I was a songwriter before that. And it’s just like anyone who does anything in life; it’s just a manifestation of what God is doing in your heart and for me that just came out in songs. Mine is not a perfect voice or the perfect life. My life is as messy as the next person’s, but God is using me to speak to the church. For this season, God has really blessed me with some insight into who He is and what that has to do with me. For some reason, He just gives it to me in song form. In a way that there’s young moms who change diapers for the glory of God – I sing songs for the glory of God. A worship song to me is a natural expression. JBU: What do you think worship does for the soul especially during hard times?

Laura: Music in and of itself is such a great memory tool. That’s why we put the alphabet to music to teach our kids. And I think no matter what age you are the same holds true. I need the truth of who God is and the promises that are steadfast stuck in my head as anchors for my soul. Especially on one of those days when you wake up thinking, “I don’t know if I can get out of bed,” you push play on your iPod, and hopefully those songs are enough to encourage you to take that first step even though you feel hopeless. I heard a long time ago that we don’t worship because we feel like worshipping, we worship because God – no matter what season of life we’re in – is no less worthy of our praises, and so when

just between us SUMMER 2014

Sitting down with singer-songwriter Laura Story is like sitting down with one of your best girlfriends. She’s relaxed, real, and relatable. She exudes an inner joy and peace. It doesn’t take long to discover the extraordinary depth to her faith that comes through in conversation and in her songwriting. It’s a depth that has been born out of walking through some very tough times. The things she sings about are the fresh lessons from God that she is in the midst of learning. She doesn’t sing as someone who has mastered them all; but rather sings as someone who needs these truths to seep deep within her own heart. “It’s these truths that keep me going,” she says, “It’s believing that God is in the center of each of our stories, in both the good chapters and the hard ones. It’s believing that no page in our story is ever wasted. God not only redeems all people, He redeems all things.” This is something Laura has experienced firsthand. After only one year of marriage to her high school sweetheart, Laura’s husband, Martin, was diagnosed with a brain tumor – a medical crisis that has forever changed their story. There were some incredibly terrifying moments when Martin was on a breathing machine and they weren’t sure if he would even make it. Martin underwent multiple surgeries, experienced severe, lifethreatening complications, and has been through extensive rehabilitation. Today, he is still troubled by vision and memory problems and is unable to work or drive. While supporting Martin through surgery, radiation, complications, and intense physical therapy, Laura wrote songs literally out of her diary entries. Laura believes that God is at the center of each of those things we all find ourselves crying out to Him about when we’re trying to figure out life and the curves it throws us. Her songwriting centers on how God’s promises and truths intersect with our lives. What does it mean for us that God loves us and that He has a good plan for our life? “What if our blessings come through raindrops? What if healing comes through tears? What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?” Those words penned out of Laura’s 2012 Grammy-award-winning song “Blessings” is her story put to song. It’s a song God uses over and over again at her concerts. “We have a voice that wasn’t there prior to our suffering. I can hardly begin to tell you of the hundreds of hurting people going through more than I have. This is a chance to share the gospel.” Laura never set out to be a songwriter. She didn’t even know she could sing much less write songs until her early twenties. Her first song has become one of the most loved worship songs of our generation: “Indescribable,” recorded by Chris Tomlin and a multiple of oth-

JBU: Why do you think people have resonated so much with your song Blessings?

Laura: Because it’s a song for people that are in process and reminds us that life doesn’t have a tidy bow. The chorus in Blessings is just a bunch of questions – a lot of “What Ifs.” We were praying for healing for Martin and God, for whatever reason, wasn’t answering our prayer the way we wanted Him to. So was He blessing us? That was our question. It’s about bringing our questions to God rather than responding to a trial by running from God. We’re eight years out and we probably have more questions than we did the first day of Martin’s injury. But we’ve realized that walking with the Lord isn’t about getting those answers. It’s about finding comfort in a God who is big enough for our questions. Hopefully I don’t try to solve everything in a four-minute song that is Blessings. I’m just trying to help people start that conversation with God. What if God is up to more than just what I can see? The very last line in the song talks about “What if trials of this life/The rain, the storms, the hardest nights/Are Your mercies in disguise?” I feel like that could have been the whole song right there. You want to say to people, I know you’re disappointed in life, but what if God is allowing that disappointment to show you that it’s about more than just this life? We are so thankful that God is using the song. If He had only used it to stabilize my own heart in the midst of my grief, it would have been enough. JBU: Tell us how Blessings is your story put into song. Josie. artin, and daughter, Laura’s husband, M

we worship with that effort we find it does something for our soul. Worship is a faith step. It’s saying, “I’m going to believe this to be true about God even though my life is chaos right now.”

Laura: I love that line from the old song “On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand.” One of the verses says, “When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.” Worship in hard times is remembering that God is good and His promises are true. It’s letting God’s truth anchor our soul. In the midst of hard times, it’s believing that everything around our soul can give way, but if we have God and He’s with us, who can be against us? I love old hymns like “Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him/ How I’ve proved Him o’re and o’re.” I have sung them since I was a child, never knowing what it meant until walking through some of the hard trials that we’ve been through as a family. I’ve realized that when I worship God even when my life is hard, I am proving that Jesus is trustworthy. Others may look at me and say, “Are you crazy? How can you still worship, how can you get up at events and sing about how great God is and how faithful He is when He hasn’t healed your husband?” It’s when I continue to worship Him when things are in chaos that proves that Jesus is still trustworthy.

JBU: How have you adjusted to God’s version of the story you had planned?

Laura: He didn’t give me a choice! We just hit the ground running. What we thought was the detour in our life after realizing things weren’t going back to normal, was actually the road. As I step back to evaluate the situation, my greatest grievances had to do with the plan not looking the way I wanted it to. The plan greatly inconvenienced me. Martin has a vision deficit and a memory deficit and life has slowed down in a lot of ways. One big adjustment for our marriage; however, is realizing that Martin’s disability isn’t the biggest problem in our marriage, sin is and the fact that we’re two sinners married to each other. The disability can be a means of anger, resentment, bitterness, and all of that or it can be a means of grace. It can either frustrate me to no end when Martin asks me the same question five times or I can change my mindset and view it as five times more opportunities to serve him and bless him than most wives get. Would I choose that – no.

JBU: How do you face the reality that your husband hasn’t experienced the complete healing you prayed for?

Laura: I don’t want to sugarcoat it because it is hard every day. Martin has just recently started working part-time coaching baseball. This is the first time he has worked in seven years. Disability is still a reality that affects us every day. So we limp along, yet God is there, even in the midst of our heartache. I was doing a radio show a few weeks ago with a very broken woman whose husband had a brain injury and she was talking about their five year old and how hard it is that her husband can’t remember anything that the child said. I’m listening to this thinking this is my life. This is what we’re going to be facing. I pulled her aside afterwards and said, “I’m sure a lot of people say hang in there; it’s going to get better.” I’m not going to say that to you, because medically and statistically it’s probably not going to get better, but you can get better. It’s not always about God bringing the healing that we ask for for the physical ailment. It’s about the healing He can bring in our own hearts as we live in a marriage that involves disability. When I think about some of the greatest inconveniences with my husband’s disability, it’s my own impatience because he can’t do things as fast as I want him to. So now I have this opportunity to learn patience. If we believe that the Christian life is a journey on the road to the crucified self then being married to a disabled spouse is probably the best thing I can go through for sanctification. Would I have asked for it – absolutely not. But I have to accept that that’s the road God has me on. My greatest desire is for my character to be conformed to that of Christ’s and I have the opportunity every day, every moment to die to self. I’m trying to view the disability that way. I also had to reach the place where I realized that if God could heal Martin and He hadn’t, then He must have a very good reason. He does not owe me an explanation this side of Heaven. JBU: What have been some helpful things others have done for you during these difficult years?

send them a text. It takes literally five seconds to say, “I’m praying for you.” Often, when something happens everyone swarms in for a good six weeks. But things like disabilities or marriage issues don’t go away in six weeks, but the crowd has moved to the next need and you’re left feeling more alone than ever. Ask people how they’re doing and don’t try to have all the answers. Leave out comments like “he’s in a better place,” because although it’s a great truth, the timing is terrible. When I first came to Perimeter Church, I’d been on staff only four months when my husband had this huge health catastrophe. I had to take three months off. After being in the ICU with him, I remember coming back to work thinking, “How am I going to do this?” My pastor said to me, “If we truly believe that God is sovereign, then taking care of Martin right now is not only the best thing for Martin and the best thing for you; it’s the best thing for our church.” He said it’s understanding how God is going to use this trial to minister to our church. “Your trial is our trial.” It was such an amazing perspective and what a comfort. The power of presence goes a long way. Sometimes when I was in the hospital not knowing what the outcome was going to be with Martin’s health, the most powerful words anyone ever said to me were, “Here’s your latte.” Friends would show up and just sit and listen and cry with me. They didn’t come up with answers. I wasn’t looking for answers. I had this huge gaping wound, and I just needed to have someone be present with me and drink lattes together. continued on p 42

“Learn how to have your heart in heaven and your hand in the harvest. It’s one decision you’ll never regret!” —Jeremy Camp Between Heaven and Earth by Steve Berger

Laura: Just listening, being there, and remembering after everyone has stopped remembering. I’ve sent a reminder to myself six months after someone’s hardship to

just between us SUMMER 2014

JBU: How do we worship God when we feel let down?

Laura: I wrote that song out of such a place of vulnerability. It really just started as a diary entry and then all of a sudden it ended up on the radio. “They’re playing my diary on the radio!” I thought. But it ended up being a very good thing. Recently I was talking on the radio about the hard things in life and how there is this isolation epidemic in our culture and even in the church. There are people who show up at church saying, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine because they’re scared of what would happen if they really broke down and told you how they really were. I was that way for a long time, too. The song, Blessings, exposes my fears and anxieties and even my disappointments with God. The response that we got was just this resounding “me too.” We found not just healing in beginning to share our story and our struggles, but we found healing in hearing other people’s stories and struggles and how they’ve seen God proven to be faithful every time in the midst of their stories. My greatest hope is that Blessings will be a catalyst for people to begin to be honest with God, themselves, and with other people, and realize that they are not alone.

God is always saying to me, “Laura I didn’t call you to be in control of this situation, I called you to respond to this unexpected plan with grace and humility.” People ask how we’re doing and I like to say: at the end of the day, God has met our needs. He has kept every single promise. He has given us so much more than we ask for or deserve. He hasn’t answered all the prayers we wanted Him to, but that’s okay too. We’re learning to trust Him in the midst of the unanswered prayers, in the midst of waiting.

just between us SUMMER 2014

REACHING RAHAB Women sex trafficked in India are finding hope in one of the darkest places on earth. by Hilary Price

been extraordinary – an outpouring of grief, anger, frustration, and courage. A woman who usually has no voice and no power, finding her voice and raising it to defend her friend, as a standard for all to see, a voice screaming for dignity and for justice. We have come to see Clara (not her real name) and we hope she will be in and not busy with a client. As we approach her door, it is closed and we turn away to call on Bashanti (not her real name) who lives just down the lane. Bashanti is also a brothel manager – she inherited the lane and the job from her husband when he died. Bashanti knows Jesus and her tiny home is a lighthouse in the brothels. She has two sons and a daughter. Her daughter makes her way in and out of the brothels every day in her school uniform and tells me she wants to be a lawyer. One of her sons has just married a beautiful young woman and they now also live in the tiny house. She is home, too. Our eyes adjust to the gloom in the room. A tiny, crinkled smiling face emerges and seems to almost be glowing in the back corner – grandma is here for a visit. Three generations of women who love Jesus Christ in one tiny house in one of the darkest places on earth. We laugh and sing and pray together. We read a Bible story and feast on the truth of God’s love for each of us that we find in its pages. I feel as though my heart is exploding in my chest with the joy in this place. I would love to stay, but we must move on and Bashanti is now tired because she is not well. We head back to Clara’s room. The door is now ajar and we knock. Her beautiful face peeps round the door. We are recognized and hugged and welcomed. Clara casts a glance over our shoulders as she ushers us in, checking she is not missing out on any possible trade. Last time we sat with her on this pristine clean floor she sobbed like a small child as she told me her mother, back in Bangladesh, had died. Clara so longed to go home. She had not seen her mother since she was trafficked here at the age of about 17 and now, because of what she does, is no longer welcome in her community. Clara has no place of belonging, but this room is her pride and joy. She is one of the most beautiful girls which means she gets the most customers, which means she can make her room pretty. Net curtains blow in the breeze, the walls are painted pink, and a rich patchwork quilt covers the bed. A television perches proudly on a shelf high up and all is kept neat and tidy. We talk to Clara about the chance of a different life. I ask her if she has ever seen a butterfly. With drawing and translation, I try and explain how a caterpillar lives in a dark seemingly dead place until the day it emerges as a butterfly. She smiles from a distant place. I ask her which of the pictures is a picture of her. She points to the butterfly. But Clara’s wings are clipped – she is not flying anywhere. In the end it all comes down to money. She tells us she is in huge debt for rent and could never leave because she can’t pay off the debt. She is being kept in debt deliberately and she does not know it. She cannot read or write and numbers on a page mean nothing. The

more she earns the more she seems to have to pay and there is no way out. I realize Clara cannot be “rescued” at this point in her life. She cannot conceive of another life as she conscientiously works at paying debt by being the best prostitute she can be. My heart breaks for this young woman. She is a beautiful homemaker and her talent shines, maybe all the more brightly in this hell hole. But her beauty has started to fade even in the two years since I last saw her. Her days are numbered and she knows it and must work even harder before she is no longer of use and finds herself thrown on the rubbish pile of broken lives for good. “Do you know God loves you Clara?” I ask. “Do you really know he loves you so much He sent Jesus to find you?” Just because Clara cannot get out of here, does not mean God cannot get into here. Clara stares at me as I ask these questions and does not reply. A sad smile spreads across her lips. Quietly she gets up and opens her one cupboard door removing a small box. She gently opens it and lifts it towards my face murmuring in a faint voice, “Do you think I would keep this if I didn’t know God loved me?” I look into the tiny box to see a silver cross with a tiny Savior nailed to it, resting on a piece of white cotton wool. Clara lifts it out to reveal a broken chain. Sadly and protectively she tells me, “The chain is broken.” She then lovingly returns Jesus on His cross to His safe place in His box where He secretly lives in this room. I fight to keep the sobs down that are welling up inside me from a very deep place. It’s time to leave. Clara doesn’t sit down again. She politely thanks us for coming and guides us back out into the lane, where clients are not so patiently waiting by the wall. Before I leave I slip the butterfly broach I have brought her, under her beautiful bed cover. I want her to find it very soon. I pray it will not be broken like the necklace chain, in a moment of anger or passion or greed, monsters that attack Clara every day in her beautiful room with the net curtains that blow in the breeze gently fighting to dispel the clawing heat and humidity of this hell-like furnace. We turn to wave goodbye to Clara, but her eyes don’t meet ours, she is busy making the next visitor feel welcome. I turn away and stumble back out down the lane, past the line of women, until we make it back out onto the dusty street. Caught up in the passing throng I sob with an intensity of pent up pain I have never before felt in my life. God is still as anxious to make His way into brothels and set the captives free as He has ever been. Through remarkable people like Monique, He is still reaching the Rahabs of this world and rescuing them. It was to a prostituted woman that He offered the invitation to come under the covering cleansing blood of the Savior, the Christ on the cross, long before he had lived, never mind died. Rahab did not keep her Christ in a little box in a cupboard, she hung him from her window for all to see and her story, like Clara’s, is truly remarkable. z Hilary Price grew up in Northern England. In 2001, she moved to Canada where her husband, Charles, became senior pastor of The Peoples Church in Toronto. They have three adult children and one grandchild. Along with a Bible teaching ministry, Hilary has a passion for the voiceless and marginalized.

Get more! about the impact of sex trafficking in the world today. Go to justbetweenus.org/sextrafficking to find out how you can get involved and educate yourself about this epidemic problem both at home and abroad.

just between us SUMMER 2014

I was back in Kolkata, India, in the red light district of Kalighat. The brothels, where daily sacrifice is offered on the altar of lust, surround the Kali temple where daily sacrifice is offered to Kali – the goddess of death. I make my way along the busy, dusty street among people hurrying to work, stopping to shop at the many stalls selling trinkets to offer in idol worship, or making their way to school in old-fashioned uniforms from Empire days. Lunch money, given by trusting mothers, is often spent to feed desire by school boys who cannot resist temptation in this place. My friend, Monique, who has lived and worked in Kolkata for over 16 years, is my guide. We are greeted at the entrance to one of the “lanes” by the brothel manager. She steps aside and lets us enter her world – the darkest world I have ever been in. Remarkably, we are welcomed to come in and befriend the girls who are her source of income. Does she realize our goal is to rescue them from under her very nose? As we pick our way along the lane we pass the most beautiful girls who are “put” out at the entrance, close to the street to attract customers, like the lush fruit shining at the front of a display at the green grocers, tempting the buyer to touch and buy. The fruit further back, just like the girls, is older, less attractive, and has obviously been there for some time. I want to look into the face of every woman we pass…but I need to keep my eyes down to avoid stepping on rats, or waste thrown out from the cubby holes which line the path, always cleaned with disinfectant once a client has left. It may be a shelf, a tatty curtain, a hole in the wall where women have no choice but to serve the customer what he wants. Some of the women meet my gaze with a blank expression and as I look longer and deeper into their eyes there seems to be no one at home. Some are young and giggling, they look away. Some are old, faded, and sick behind makeup, plastered on to extend their shelf-life well beyond their sell-by-date. Men are entering the lane and walking down the line, taking their time to select their purchase for the day. I cannot look into the faces of these men. Suddenly there is a shout as a young man has just entered the lane and is in a heated conversation with a young woman, who has blocked his path. She shoves him backwards. A fight breaks out and she will not back down. Her anger has made her strong and he turns away with his friends’ encouragement and leaves with her words sweeping him out like a flood carrying flotsam down a river. There is tension in the air and we later discover one of the yelling girl’s friends had poured petrol all over her body last night and set fire to herself. This morning she has died. She leaves a young daughter. Life had become unbearable in the brothels. Was this young man one of her regular clients? Was he responsible for the sacrifice of a life? Her friend certainly thought so. It is hard to move on, but we must. What we have seen has

THE SEX TRAFFICKING REALITY…

GET INVOLVED! 2 CHILDREN

ARE SOLD INTO SLAVERY

EVERY MINUTE

THE AVERAGE AGE OF CHILD SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIMS IS

11-12 YRS

Nita Belles, author of In Our Backyard, states “Human trafficking is the dirty secret that has been hidden too long in our country. Modern-day slavery looks like the fresh-faced young girl or boy who is being sold for sex by a pimp via the Internet, the domestic worker living with a family who abuses her sexually as she lives in fear for her life, or the migrant worker who lives in a compound with barbed wire designed to keep the slaves in, rather than bad guys out.” It’s a world-wide epidemic and millions are being exploited and defiled. Victims come from every socio-economic group, race, class, gender, and nationality. As Christians, we have a responsibility to help bring an end to modern-day slavery. Jesus provides a clear call to action for us in Lk. 4:18, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners…to set the oppressed free.” We can help push back the darkness. Practical solutions that are making a difference come in many forms. Consider following up with at least one of these action steps on the list below. • Pray

for those being sold and those purchasing them and the pimps who prostitute them.

• Connect

with and volunteer at local organizations and ministries already working in your community. yourself with state and federal trafficking laws and encourage lawmakers in your state to pass legislation against human trafficking.

27 MILLION SLAVES IN THE WORLD TODAY

200,000 ARE IN THE U.S.

IS CURRENTLY THE

2ND LARGEST

& FASTEST GROWING CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE IN THE WORLD &

You don’t have to wait each quarter to stay in touch with Just Between Us. We’re here for you 24/7 at justbetweenus.org where you can be regularly refreshed by new and encouraging articles, stories from women like you, and a devotional from Jill Briscoe’s heart to yours. And… we’ve become more “social” because we want more conversation with you!

ITS BRINGING IN NEARLY

$32 BILLION

EACH YEAR

• Help

trafficking victims get connected with counselors to provide treatment for mental and emotional trauma.

• Connect

survivors with churches or faith-based organizations that can assist in meeting their spiritual needs as they recover.

• Volunteer

to teach and tutor trafficking victims in literacy, computer skills, ESL, or GED courses.

• Educate

and advocate for victims and survivors by sharing about this issue at your church, school, or other organizations in your community.

• Assist

in providing training in job readiness skills, interview skills, financial planning, job applications, resume creation, etc. to human-trafficking survivors.

• Collect

furniture and other household items for survivors as they transition to permanent homes.

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• Call

the National Human Trafficking Resource Center Hotline (888-373-7888) to report any signs or suspicions of human trafficking in your area.

You can make a difference! Learn more firsthand about this radical redemption and begin to reach victims of sex-trafficking so that their lives can be transformed and the love of Christ can bring healing, one life at a time. Please visit justbetweenus.org/sextrafficking for a comprehensive list of resources to find ways to get involved, be educated, and access info to help in the fight against human trafficking.

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just between us SUMMER 2014

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HUMAN TRAFFICKING

LIFTING HOLY HANDS IN PRAYER

He, for reasons known only to Himself, has determined that it takes two keys to release His purposes in this world. The big question is, “Assuming that God is already turning the key of His purposes, am I turning my key in order that His purposes might be released in my area of influence?” When we think of it in these terms, we can begin to understand why prayer is a priority.

THE PRACTICE OF PRAYER The apostle used four specific words to describe different aspects of prayer. They are requests, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving. The word requests stems from a sense of need. I recognize a need for divine intervention in this world, and on that basis I come to God. The word prayers denotes an approach either to a person or to God, but in the New Testament the word is used exclusively to describe an approach to God. Prayer addresses God as one who is interested and concerned about the human situation. The word intercession contains the specialized sense of entering into the presence of a king and submitting a petition. Intercession means that with a sense of need I address the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, who is intimately involved in the concerns that I’ve addressed to Him. The word thanksgiving means, that as on the one hand I recognize the privilege of petition, on the other hand I recognize the responsibility of praise. I praise God for who He is and for the incredible privilege of being allowed to address Him for what He’s promised to do, and I praise Him in advance for the way that He will respond to my praying.

Incentives to prayer Notice the wonderful incentive to prayer at this par-

ticular point. After he had encouraged Timothy to pray, Paul added, “This is good and pleases God our Savior” (1 Tim. 2:3). What greater incentive to prayer could there be than the reminder that God is delighted to hear His people pray? But why would praying please God? For one thing, to pray is to obey. For another reason, if we’re praising and praying correctly, we will be doing one of the most unselfish things of which we are capable. Praising God is anything but self-centered; it is God-centered. And interceding on behalf of others is anything but self-centered; it is otherscentered. These attitudes do not come naturally, and when they begin to appear, they are clear evidences of spiritual growth.

THE CONTENT OF PRAYER The scope of the prayer that Paul advocates is immense. “I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone” (2:1). A few days ago I walked around our subdivision. As I walked past each unit, I found myself praying for the people inside. As I did so, the thought occurred to me, I wonder if anybody’s prayed for these people before? I wonder if anybody has turned the key in the lock for them? Let’s narrow the target area down even more. How about praying for some special people God specifically brings to your attention? Having said, “everyone,” the apostle identified three specific groups.

just between us SUMMER 2014

The part prayer plays in leading a holy life. by Stuart Briscoe

Prayer plays a part in developing a holy life. If you were to go around your congregation and say, “What do you think ought to be the top priority in this church?” you probably would receive a variety of answers. Worship! Evangelism! Teaching! Fellowship! Support Groups! Music! These are all legitimate. But the apostle Paul said “first of all” there must be prayer, and he either meant prayer is the first thing I need to discuss with you, or prayer is the number one priority! Either way, in his mind prayer was vitally important. In his letter to Timothy, Paul wrote, “I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving be made for everyone (1 Tim. 2:1). Prayer was high on Paul’s list of priorities. Notice two words that Paul used in conjunction with prayer. In verse 1, urge and later in verse 8, want; both are strong encouragement words. Obviously, Paul felt deeply about prayer and wanted Timothy and the Ephesians to be encouraged in their prayer lives. Most people I know admit that they too need encouragement because they have problems with prayer. But why is this so? Perhaps one reason is that many of us are interested in the bottom line, and we find it difficult to see the bottom line of prayer. We spend our time on things with a more measurable effectiveness. Another reason is that life is busy. When we pray, we have to pull out of busyness to spend time listening and talking to the Lord. This mindset was captured cleverly in a cartoon I saw recently. A church secretary, having burst into the pastor’s office unannounced, found him on his knees in prayer and said, “Oh, good – you’re not busy!” Another problem is that many people don’t really know how prayer works. They hear that God is sovereign and that everything will come out as He planned it in the end. So if God is going to do what He is going to do anyway, they wonder what possible difference their prayers can make. Let me shed a little light on the way prayer can become more effective in our lives. When I was a banker, one of my responsibilities was to look after the safe deposit boxes that customers rented from us. Naturally, they didn’t want us poking around in their treasures, so they had a key for their box. But we kept the key to the vault. It took two keys. God has a key in the lock of His will which He is always ready to turn, but He’s given us the key of prayer. He says, “I’m turning my key in the lock. Now I’ve given you the responsibility of turning your key in the other lock. When you do, My purposes will come to fruition in the world.”

“

Effective praying reaches to the throne with ‘holy hands,’ with a great longing for holiness to become part and parcel of the life of those near and dear, far and unknown. Unbelievers God is specifically concerned about the sal-

Those in Authority Paul also urged prayer for “kings and all those in authority.” Since Nero was the Caesar at the time Paul was writing, this is a rather surprising statement. He knew from personal experience that those in authority can either make people’s lives a misery or grant them a chance to live peacefully and productively. So he said, “Let’s pray for people in authority that they would make it possible for us to serve the living and true God freely and effectively.” Notice something important here. Paul did not say, “Pray that we might have good political leaders so that we can have a peaceful and quiet life, so we can be comfortable and secure without interruption.” He encouraged prayer for those in positions of leadership with a view to the people being free to “lead peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness” (2:2). One thing I love about the Anglican Church is that they take this admonition seriously and regularly pray for the Queen. In the American Church I rarely hear prayers for the President – particularly if he is from the “other party”! The problem is that when we have a quiet and peaceful situation, we tend to settle down and enjoy the quiet and the peace. In fact, the church often does far better under persecution. Why? Because quiet and peace so easily produce an environment in which believers become wrapped up in their personal enjoyment, to the detriment of spiritual growth. But tough times tend to prod us into deeper fellowship with the Lord. 28

...time to reconnect Broom Tree

”

MINISTRIES

We should not be reluctant to pray for leadership that creates a quiet and peaceful environment, but when these gifts are granted, they should not be indulged, but utilized to produce lives of godliness and holiness. No doubt believers will continue to have political preferences. Elected officials and unelected leaders are prone to steer societies in paths which believers do not wish to travel. This can often lead to acrimony, anger, and activism, which limits prayer to “Get rid of the rascals, O Lord!” Paul’s approach is totally different and far more appropriate. And don’t forget – Nero was running the show!

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Believers Do you know any believers who could use some prayer with refer-

ence to godliness and holiness? Prayer that believers will be interested in holiness, that they will understand holiness, that they will pursue holiness – much prayer is needed for these concerns. Prayerful believers know how to concentrate on requests dealing with sickness, joblessness, bereavement, marital discord, and numerous other ills that are so often the unhappy lot of believers and unbelievers alike. But it is good to remember that life’s vicissitudes frequently present an opportunity for spiritual growth not available elsewhere. Prayer should therefore focus not only on the problem and the solution, but also on the possibilities for godliness and holiness to flourish in adversity.

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THOSE WHO PRAY “I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer without anger or disputing (2:8), added the apostle. In some fellowships, “to lift or not to lift” is an issue! Some people love to do it, and some people hate them doing it, particularly if it blocks their vision. Whatever we think about the contemporary practice, it is very obvious that in biblical times it was normal to lift up the hands in prayer. So as far as the culture of Bible times was concerned, it was normative to lift up one’s hands. It was a symbolic action intended to convey an inner reality. In lifting up his hands, the person praying was saying, “Lord, I’m reaching out to You, my hands are clean and empty. I’m not hanging on to anything.” Whether or not we literally lift up our hands in prayer is secondary, but what goes on in the heart is primary. We do not come before the Lord in prayer harboring things in our lives that have no business there. We do not come before Him with unconfessed sin. There has to be preparation of the heart and mind in tune with the Lord for prayer to be effective. Another word for that is holiness. So we see the way in which holiness and prayer are related. Effective praying reaches to the throne with “holy hands,” with a great longing for holiness to become part and parcel of the life of those near and dear, far and unknown. z Adapted from Holiness without the Halo: Finding Unexpected Joy and Freedom in Holy Living by Stuart & Jill Briscoe. ©2011 CLC Publications, Washington, PA. Used with permission.

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What do you do when the storms of life surround you – and it feels like you’ll never see the sun again? Where do you turn when God feels far away? Author and speaker Jill Briscoe explores truths from the book of Job that will help you work through the tough questions that arise when affliction and faith collide. Questions like: Is it OK for me to struggle with serious problems – even though I’m a Christian? Is God listening to my prayers? Will I ever feel normal again? Will I ever feel peace? With individual and group study questions at the end of each chapter, Out of the Storm and into God’s Arms will help you overcome your pain by providing you with encouragement, practical help, and powerful reminders of how God walks with you in the darkest circumstances of your life. No matter how violently your storm rages or how dark your situation might seem, God is your rock, your shelter, and your safe hiding place. Get your copy today! Available through Briscoe Ministries for the price of $11.99 plus shipping. Order by going to www.briscoeministriesinc.com. All proceeds go to support the Briscoe’s ministry throughout the world— so your purchase is making a difference!

just between us SUMMER 2014

vation of all people. This is clearly demonstrated in that the Lord Jesus gave Himself as a ransom for all people. We should be asking ourselves the question, “To what extent am I praying consistently for the salvation of the people I know?” That is a ministry in which all of us should be involved. It follows quite naturally that a prayerful concern for unbelievers will include specific prayer for those who are devoted to reaching the unreached. Those who live and work in spiritually dark and difficult places are most keenly aware of their need for prayer support. Yesterday I received word from two friends of mine working in the slums of Manila, Philippines, “We are in a battle. It’s a hard and dangerous situation where things happen so quickly that there’s hardly time to pray before it’s too late. So keep on praying for us continually.”

Introducing 2 New Books from Bill and Pam Farrel:

THE BASIS FOR A BIBLE TEACHER’S CONFIDENCE. by Terry Powell

remind me again

As a Bible study leader or group facilitator, do you ever lament a lack of formal training, or feel inadequate compared to the abilities of other women whom you’ve seen teach? Have you ever listened to a silver-tongued orator and felt envious because you don’t have the same natural capacity to command an audience’s attention? As a Sunday school teacher, have you noticed how another volunteer down the hall exhibits an effervescent personality that draws kids in, all the while wishing you weren’t as reserved or introverted? Does your confidence as a communicator of God’s Word often sag? I don’t discount the value of training courses or a Bible college education. I’m grateful that God’s grace allocates

exceptional presentation skills to a few choice servants. Yes, the magnetic pull of a riveting personality enhances the atmosphere of a classroom. And confidence in our gifts and calling sustains us as teachers. Yet none of these is the primary factor that gives efficacy to our words as speakers and teachers. The variable that matters most isn’t intrinsic to us, nor something we can add to our resume, nor part of our gift mix. It isn’t something we work to obtain or that improves with experience. It isn’t anything we can take credit for or boast about. The basis for confidence in our ministries, and the key that unlocks fruitfulness, is the power inherent in God’s Word. No other asset compares to the Holy Spirit’s shuttling of Scripture from the ears of listeners, to their mind and hearts. Time and again, reminding myself of this truth buoys my spirit and boosts motivation as a communicator.

Give somebody a book that has been an encouragement to your faith.

illustrative impact

Nineteenth-century British pastor Charles Spurgeon illustrated the transforming effect of God’s Word even long after its delivery. He told the story of a pastor named Flavel, who felt so burdened about unsaved persons in the congregation that he didn’t give the usual benediction after a message in which he shared the plan of salvation. He said to the audience, “How can I dismiss you with a blessing since many of you will be accursed when the Lord returns because you didn’t love the Lord Jesus Christ.” Here’s how Spurgeon described the outcome: A lad of fifteen heard that remarkable utterance; and eighty-five years afterwards, sitting under a hedge, I think in Virginia, the whole scene came vividly before him as if it had been but the day before, and it pleased God to bless Mr. Flavel’s words to his conversion, and he lived three years longer to bear good testimony that he had felt the power of truth in his heart. Imagine – 85 years after Flavel shared the gospel and poured out his heart, God’s Spirit imprinted His Word

just between us SUMMER 2014

MOTIVATING the MESSENGER

Stuart Briscoe tells the story of a man who, because of an error during surgery, had the wrong part of his brain removed, totally destroying his memory. In all other areas he functioned well, just without memory. Every time he picked up a newspaper, he read it as if he’d never seen one before. Each time he met someone, it was as if he had never seen the person. Whenever he heard a song, he was for all practical purposes hearing it for the first time. “Relearning” occurred daily. Despite giving us the capacity for memory, God wants His people to be reminded of certain truths, to “relearn” them on an ongoing basis. Paul told Titus to remind believers at Crete of particular responsibilities and the core doctrines of salvation, justification and grace (Tit. 3:1-8). The present imperative verb “remind” in Titus 3:1 suggests repeated action over time. As someone who handles the Word of God, you’re familiar with what Scripture says about itself. No doubt you’ve read and reread verses conveying characteristics of God’s Word and why it’s integral to Christian living. But if you’re like me, when victimized by doubts, inadequacy, or outright lies from Satan about your usefulness, it often seems like part of your brain is missing. We easily forget verses on the Bible’s capacity to transform, and their implications for our ministries. We need reminders of the nature of Scripture, to review verses that engender hope concerning our communication of God’s Word. What follows are two insights about God’s Word that I’m constantly relearning. 1. In contrast to our physical bodies or stock market gains, God’s Word is permanent. What prompts me to engage in the unglamorous task of diligent study of Scripture is awareness that what I write or teach will outlive my years on planet earth. Peter told his readers that they owed their conversion to God’s Word: “You have been born again, not of seed which is perishable, but imperishable, that is, through the living and abiding Word of God” (1 Pet. 1:23). Then he added a citation from Isaiah 40: “All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls off, but the Word of the Lord abides forever” (1 Pet. 1:24-25). 2. God’s Word wields power. This simple reminder rejuvenates me when I feel inferior, don’t see results, or wonder if all the time and effort invested in Bible teaching is worth it. Memorizing the following verses helps me counteract negative thoughts about the effectiveness of what I do. Just as a believer who’s touched by a particular sermon will hear

it time and again, I preach these verses to myself over and over when my energy for service needs replenishing. Jeremiah 23:29: While contrasting His words with those of false prophets, God exclaimed, “Is not my word like fire? ... like a hammer which shatters a rock?” 1 Thessalonians 2:13: Paul understood that God inspired the words he proclaimed. Reminiscing about his initial preaching venture in Thessalonica, and their responsiveness, he wrote, “We thank God that when you received from us the Word of God’s message, you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the Word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe.” 2 Timothy 2:9: In contrast to his own physical confinement in prison, Paul wrote, “…but the Word of God is not imprisoned.” The New Testament suggests that he led people to Christ while in prison (Phil. 4:22), and his incarceration prompted others to take his place in spreading the gospel (Phil. 1:12-18). Hebrews 4:12: When there’s no evidence that our communication of Scripture packs a wallop, let’s remind ourselves of this assertion: “The Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Will we believe appearances, or our feelings, or cling tenaciously to this verse?

Inside View (continued from p 5)

onto the heart of a congregant! Time doesn’t diminish the potential fruitfulness of a seed you faithfully sow when you teach. Yet Spurgeon himself discovered that God’s Word may exert an immediate influence as well. In 1867, Spurgeon spoke at a series of meetings in Agricultural Hall, Islington. Remodeling efforts expanded the seating in this vast hall to over 11,000. The day before his first message, Spurgeon tested the acoustics of the revamped auditorium, empty at the time, by shouting, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” (Jn. 1:29). A worker high in the rafters heard him, and as a result converted to faith in Christ. The seed of Scripture sown by Flavel and Spurgeon has the same growth potential when you speak to or lead groups of women.

personal evidence

Do you recall the long night a Bible verse or passage comforted you, assuaging your pain? Can you still see the fog lift on the day a Biblical principle clarified which alternative in a career move was better? Do you remember the battlefield where God’s Spirit fortified you against temptation and exposed the lies of Satan through a verse you had memorized? Can you still see the tears pooling on your carpet, and feel the pain piercing your heart, from the time God’s Word convicted you of sin and spawned repentance? Then don’t lose heart in your ministry! Your own experience with God’s Word is all the evidence you need of its clout. What transformed you is the same Word you use when you teach, counsel, or witness. Fuel your faith with the verses in this article. Keep reminding yourself of how you’ve experienced its power. z

God’s Word is all the evidence you need of its clout. What transformed you is the same Word you use when you

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teach, counsel, or witness.

Jan Frans, M.S. Educational Leadership, pastoral leader, retired teacher | Wales, WI

Keeping Hot on God’s Trail (continued from p 11) ously lived out as you’d like to believe it is. Social networks are riddled with soothing advice that is intended to encourage but doesn’t speak the truth of Scripture. For example, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” It’s not biblical. It sounds good, but God most definitely gives us more than we can handle, because He intends for us to fully rely on Him through every high and low. We even use Scripture out of context because it sounds applicable to a situation, and we choose to help someone feel better temporarily over seeking and revealing truth for the long run. Be a consistent voice with a social media presence through the summer. Ramp up your women’s ministry page posts. Get several women involved to share posting duties – seven women each taking one day of the week or multiple women signing up to facilitate one week at a time. Be sure to communicate guidelines to insure consistent reflection of God’s Word. Tweak these ideas to fit what you need most. Remember it’s not about choosing something that’s comfortable. Growth rarely is. It’s also not about becoming legalistic in your spiritual growth process. God wants a relationship with you. He doesn’t want to be checked off your to-do list each day, as if you can accomplish your relationship with Him through tasks. He wants you to pursue Him. God doesn’t take a summer vacation. He’s always available. He’s always pursuing you with passion and purpose. You can claim the summer days simply get away from you and you never intended to leave God out of them, but it’s all about priorities. You have enough time and energy in each day. You have what you need, because God gives it to you. If you’re slighting Him, it’s not by His choice. Run the race He has set for you. It’s the best journey you’ll take this summer. z Susan Lawrence is a Women’s Ministry Consultant who is passionate about equipping and encouraging women to make God a priority in everyday life. Susan is the author of multiple Bible studies and regularly speaks at conferences and events, including ministry team-building retreats. She regularly blogs at PurePurpose.org, which will feature a free 90-day summer devotional series, Praying through Psalms.

just between us SUMMER 2014

This article is adapted from Terry’ Powell’s new book, Serve Strong: Biblical Encouragement To Sustain God’s Servants (Leafwood). Terry teaches in the Church Ministries department at Columbia International University (S.C.). Visit his blog and find free articles, devotionals, and faith poems at terrydpowell.com. (See ad on this page.)

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Your own experience with

why what they decided was wrong. Speak in “I messages…” rather than accusatory ones. This takes fruitful self-control. Saying, “When you did that, I felt… ” is far better than telling someone, “YOU did this to me/ us.” Remember, they are not the enemy. Realize that, even if you do everything right, you may not be understood. Christians can have blind spots and disconnects, even when we try our best to help them understand. It is sad but true that people disappoint us and don’t always reciprocate the understanding we are seeking. At those times, I find comfort in the Scriptures, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone...” (Rom. 12:18). Sometimes people will never understand or even care about our losses. Thank God that’s not the end of the story. In the end, we need to realize that the understanding of the Lord is all that matters and that we have complete access to Him to help us cope (Rom. 5:2). He is our Provider and will deal with the fallout and those responsible. The important thing is that we keep our own integrity before Him in the way we treat others, knowing that no matter what others do to us, God is good and He loves us. Pour your heart out to Him, leaning on His loving arms. Look for His love in the details!

wise W O R D S

Are you using your “word skills” to share love and share the gospel? by Jill Briscoe

In Solomon’s time, nails were tent pegs that gave a tent structure and form. That’s what words of wisdom do. When words explain the deep purpose and meaning a relationship with God gives us, they add substance to a person’s life. They inform, inspire, and instruct. So the result of godly lives infused with wisdom, added to skill and enterprise, is people who are willing to live their lives in good shape! The wise woman uses words to proclaim the gospel. Words of wisdom will not be ignored. They are loud, making their presence felt. They rise above the cacophony of noise in our hurried world and shout out that life is to be lived for God. I have met many people who have lived their lives and used their words “out loud” even in places where to do so is a dangerous thing and brings down wrath upon their heads. These are people who realize that with the privilege of “God knowledge” comes the responsibility to inform the public of this vital information. This should be easy to understand. In America, the public’s “right to know” is almost sacred. We feel we have an inalienable right to know anything that happens – whether or not it affects our lives and well-being! How much more do people have the right to know about things that will affect their eternal well-being?

living your life out loud King Solomon had wisdom plus skill, a powerful combination. He had skills that could change his world! What were they? Solomon was a great speaker and writer. He had word skills. Once he returned to God, he also had a heart to commit what was left of his life to making a difference. He stopped being self-centered and began to be other-centered. He used his word skills in the service of God. Words can be wonderful or terrible things! We can use them to build up or break down. To bring hope, laughter, or tears. We can encourage one another when we speak the truth into our friends’ lives. We can express compassion, love, and understanding. Words are powerful! There are so many godly ways we can use our words, including directly speaking the gospel message. In some ways, we are all teachers. Like Solomon, we can use our words to pass along the lessons we have learned. We might be a mom or a dad, a school teacher or youth leader, an influencer or simply a friend – but no matter what our position in life, we can use our “word skills” to share love and share the gospel message. Many people have wisdom and word skills but keep them to themselves. Others aren’t sure what their talents and gifts are. The Teacher knew who he was, how God had endowed him, and that he had the gift of words. He also knew this endowment was not for his enjoyment only, but that he had been blessed in order to be a blessing. He taught truth to His generation, passing on the knowledge of God and His ways. He didn’t hoard his words but rather used them as powerful weapons to convince people of the truth about God. In Ecclesiastes 12:11 he tells us, “The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails – given by one Shepherd.”

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Jill Briscoe is executive editor of Just Between Us. Additionally, she has authored over 40 books and she and her husband, Stuart, are ministers-at-large encouraging Christian leaders around the world. She lives in a suburb of Milwaukee, Wis.

God doesn’t tell us to fight the good fight without

supplying us with weapons. He doesn’t tell us to make bricks without straw. He gives us tools: skills, gifts, talents.

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Some of those powerful weapons or tools are wise words.

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the words of the wise are like goads – and nails!

His words were described as goads and nails. The goad was the sharp instrument used to prod obdurate cattle into compliance – to move a beast from one place to the next. Words of wisdom are like that. They can move people from non-belief to belief; from secular thinking to spiritual thinking. He also describes these words as given by “one Shepherd.” We get them straight from God. So what are we doing with the knowledge of God that we have? Are we asking God to show us how to pass on the truth about Him to our own generation, or are we just building great warehouses in which to stack all that knowledge we have received? Have we discovered the endowment of God in our lives – our talents, gifts, and opportunities? I believe, as the Teacher says, that one day we will be held to account for what we did with our life and skills, and in particular those words. Solomon used the wise words given by God to instigate belief in the unbeliever and hope in the follower; as well as to inspire, instruct and challenge both. And he used his God-endowment like none before or after him. Think about it. How do we use words? What do we talk about all day long? If we could count up the thousands of words we use every day, how many would be about God – or at least godly? Do our words “goad” people in the right direction, prick their consciences? Move them from meaninglessness to meaningfulness? From nothingness to something-ness? From nonsense to God-sense?

Back in my study in Wisconsin after an exciting ministry tour in Asia, I was thinking about all the Lord’s people we had met whose lives are lived “out loud” in really troublesome situations. They insist on such a vibrant life in Christ that their lives shout the message of transformation to their world just by being who they are. They want as many people as possible to hear them, even though they could get into big trouble by verbalizing their faith and announcing how much they love Jesus. It’s pretty impressive! And whenever they have the chance, they use words to explain their lives to those who watch them. They tell others where their power and life skill come from, and by Whose help they live and move and have their being. Some of these people have told me that their good lives draw attention in the middle of a corrupt world and they need to explain it, lest a mistake

be made and people think it is by their own power and godliness that they live. Both their testimony and the Teacher’s words concerning the brevity and importance of time have reinforced in me the necessity of “redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Eph. 5:16, KJV). This experience of meeting and listening to teachers from all over the planet, whose words are like goads and nails, has made my speaking and writing, evangelizing and discipling, somehow more urgent. “Brief, brief ” is the time. Goading people from secular thinking to belief in the one true God is His work, but He has chosen to involve those of us who love Him in the task. And He is not like the Egyptian taskmaster who gave the Israelites orders to make bricks but didn’t give them straw (see Ex. 5:7)! He has given us straw – the skills to do it. I remember during the Second World War a poster that dominated most billboards. It was a life-size of Winston Churchill pointing at us and saying that Britain needed us to join in the war effort. At the same time Churchill talked to Eisenhower and asked for help. “Give us the tools and we’ll finish the job,” he said. England had a lot of courage and was game to fight but had no weapons! America helped and gave us the tools. God doesn’t tell us to fight the good fight without supplying us with weapons. He doesn’t tell us to make bricks without straw. He gives us tools: skills, gifts, talents. Some of those powerful weapons or tools are wise words. z

between us pastors’ wives

the complexity of BURNOUT

children would turn out okay, to share this deeply personal story with such heart-breaking transparency gives life to the statement that no matter what, there is always hope. I am planning to share it with every mother I know.

by Rhonda Rhea

FOR YOUR HEART

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW

SUMMER READING PICKS

Author and speaker Elizabeth Murphy shares her summer reading picks.

Reading is a grand adventure to me, an opportunity to go somewhere I have never been before. It could be a physical destination or a trip into the mind and heart of another or both, but it’s always a journey into something new. Join our summer book club and embark on a journey that will offer soulsearching selections, truths that will transform your thinking, and challenge your status quo. In this first offering you will find something for your faith, something for your life, something for your heart, and something just for fun. FOR YOUR FAITH

The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning (Waterbrook/Multnomah) I can’t remember why I first read this book ten years ago but I do know why I keep reading it over and over again. I am desperately in need of the grace so beautifully described by author Brennan Manning, “Grace means that God is on our side and thus we are victors regardless of how well we have played the game.” So much of life, even in the church, feels like a competition. Our expectations for ourselves are so high; when we come face to face with our own failure and inconsistency we are crushed. We extend so little grace to ourselves it becomes impossible to extend it to anyone else. Through the tender and sometimes heart-wrenching stories told in The Ragamuffin Gospel, I was able to see myself, a ragamuffin – dirty, bedraggled, and beat-up, and my nothingness before God as the path to understanding grace in a whole new way. It’s one to read more than once, to mark up, and make real as you learn what it means to live and apply amazing grace every day. FOR YOUR LIFE by Elisa Morgan (Thomas Nelson) I did not expect this story. Reading it made me feel as if Elisa Morgan had looked into my heart, read my mind, lived through some of my worst nightmares, and came through it all better for having found the beauty of being broken. Just when I thought the worst was over, there was more. For a woman who believed that if you just did everything right and followed Jesus your

JUST FOR FUN

The Secret Keeper: A Novel by Kate Morton (Washington Square Press) I have learned over the years that sometimes sleep is worth sacrificing for a really good story. The Secret Keeper is that kind of story. It is a crime novel, a war time love story, and a tale of family intrigue as the story spans fifty years in the lives of three characters who met by accident in wartime London. Kate Morton masterfully weaves together this story about the power of longings, the lengths people will go through to achieve them, and the consequences they endure along the way. I could not put it down.

I may look calm on the outside. But on the inside I’m frantically trying to digest ridiculous amounts of complex carbs without storing any more cellulite. Time to up the metabolism, I’m thinking. Seems the logical fix would be coffee. That’s why I figure I’m helping things along if I drive through and pick myself up a grande mocha latte with extra whip. Someone told me that the average person drinks 22 gallons of coffee a year. I’ve also heard it said that the average person walks about 8,000 miles a year just going about the regular routine of everyday life. That’s got to at least work off the extra whip, wouldn’t you think? In addition, I’m not one to try out the math, but still, it looks to me like we’re getting about 363 miles to the gallon. Talk about sustainability. Suddenly that four-dollar mocha is a responsible purchase, right? Burning carbs in one thing. But burning out is another. In the busyness and stresses of going about the not-always-so-regular routing of Kingdom work, it’s easy to become not just over-whipped, but over-worked, over-tired, and overwhelmed. Some of the warning signs of burnout? A soul-weariness – a tiredness that rarely goes away. There’s also that “spinning your wheels” frustration, feeling that even though you’re running yourself ragged, you’re not really making a difference. Resentment builds and starts to replace the joy you once found in working for Jesus. It’s difficult to love Him well and even harder to love His people. You find yourself fighting against a strong desire to isolate yourself. Loneliness, negativity, cynicism, and hopelessness start to creep in. What do we do when we feel “whipped” – in the non-creamiest way? First, we look up. We run to the only One who can heal a heart and refresh a spirit. You’re probably thinking that’s nothing new. Absolutely true. In fact, we need to do those very things – those spiritbuilding things – that are the most comfortably, reassuringly familiar. If there’s sin in the way, we get rid of it.

Call up a friend to let her know you are praying for her.

Rhonda Rhea is a ministry wife, TV and radio personality, humor columnist, and author. Adapted from Join the Insanity-CrazyFun Life in the Pastors’ Wives Club, which was released in January 2014. Rhea and her husband live in Troy, Mo.

just between us SUMMER 2014

The Beauty of Broken: My Story and Likely Yours Too

(Gotham/Penguin Books) I meet women every day who want to “be real.” I didn’t fully understand what that meant or know how to do it until I read Daring Greatly. The title comes from a 1910 speech by Teddy Roosevelt which famously challenged a generation of his countrymen to show up for the battle, regardless of what the outcome might be. That to do so, to try, was to dare greatly. “We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be – a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation – with the courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability, this is daring greatly.” Brene Brown The author uses stories from her own life experiences as well as those of others to illustrate every point. I remembered the concepts long after finishing the book, which is now full of Post-it® notes and highlights. On every page I found myself saying, “me too, me too.” Her writing gave words to some of my most deeply misunderstood feelings and gave me tools to help with things like “shame attacks” and the fear of what others might think. “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.” This is one of the most important books I have read in a long time for every area of my life.

Spending time on our faces in prayer, getting truly honest with the Father, starts the process of reinvigorating an exhausted heart. We immerse ourselves in His Word. It’s there we find direction, strength, wisdom, and restoration. We determine we’re going to stay plugged into people and we find a godly confidante. We need to regularly remind ourselves of that deep need we have for a strong connection to people. The need is God-given and the connection is vital. It’s also good to take a look at the schedule and get rid of the clutter everywhere we can. The truth is, God never calls us to do anything He won’t equip us to do. In essence, He won’t give us more miles to walk than He gives coffee to get us there. If there’s more on the schedule than we have the time and energy to accomplish, that means we’ve added to the to-do list ourselves. As we pray through our schedule asking for direction, He is faithful to give wisdom in knowing where to back off and where to press on. It’s good to encourage our husbands to do the same thing. Would it surprise you to find out that some say almost half of pastors have experienced burnout to the extent that they had to take a sabbatical from the ministry? There are times when stepping back a bit is the best way to move forward. These bodies and minds have limitations. If we continually ignore them, we can end up burned out and depressed. Getting nowhere. Stepping back doesn’t mean we stop loving Jesus. It doesn’t even mean we stop serving Him. We never give up on those things. It just means our service may look a bit different while our minds and bodies and spirits heal. God’s Word is great solace and an integral part of that healing process. Know this: He can heal your tired heart. He’ll give you the strength you need to do all He’s calling you to do. “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it,” (1 Thess. 5:24, ESV). There’s such blessing in fulfilling that calling. Talk about deliciously invigorating. It’s more energizing than the strongest mocha. With nary a carb left over! Because clearly some carbs are more complex than others.

managing your emotions

marriage matters

antidote to WORRY

protecting his PLIMSOLL line

by Florence MacKenzie

“ Hearing the words

of Christ through worship can go a long way in helping us if we are overcome by worry.

We all form impressions of people around us and, in doing so, we often assume that someone who possesses a particular personality trait is likely to have other characteristics that correspond with this. Social psychologists call this implicit personality theory. For example, we might expect someone who is a worrier to be quiet, nervous, and introspective. In some cases, this may be so, but not always. Reading the biblical account of Martha of Bethany, with her practical, take-charge personality, we might be surprised to discover that, underneath it all, worry had gripped her heart (Lk. 10:38-42). Her words to Jesus don’t immediately come across as those of a worried woman. They sound more like someone complaining about perceived injustice. But Jesus, as always, delves beneath the outward appearance and tells it as it is. “Martha, Martha… you are worried and upset about many things…” (vs. 41). Could this be said of you? Worry is not the same as legitimate concern. Concern can be productive if it is solution-focused and drives us to take corrective action on behalf of ourselves or someone else. But worry is concern that’s gotten out of control. The word worry encompasses the idea of being pulled in different directions, like Martha, who is also described as being “distracted.” Her mind was on other things – “all the preparations that had to be made” – which impaired her ability to effectively focus on what was really important. There was no doubt about it, Martha was engaged in something good and admirable – she was serving her Lord. But perhaps her priorities were out of balance. For Martha, doing something for Him was secondary to spending time with Him. None of us can be expected to worship instead of work, but we do need to be reminded to worship before work. This inversion of priorities might have been Martha’s problem because Jesus’ response is to direct her attention to what her sister Mary was doing by sitting at His feet – worshipping. It’s not a case of being either a Mary or a Martha – worshipping or working – but in which order we do them. Worry can cause us to momentarily lose sight of the big picture. It distorts our view of life and sometimes of God Himself. Like Martha, it might lead us to question His love and concern for us: “Lord, don’t you care…?” At times like this, we need to remind ourselves of how precious we are to the Lord. He has lovingly watched over every step of our lives to the present time and will con-

tinue doing so to the end. At other times, worry can drive us to make demands of Him, as Martha did: “Tell her to help me!” Do you sometimes think other people are the source of your problems and you imagine you need to tell God what to do? If this sounds like you, try the following: • Insert your name in place of Martha’s (verse 41) and delight in the fact that He knows you and calls you by name. • Acknowledge His diagnosis that “you are worried and upset about many things.” When we refuse to admit we’re worried, we can’t take steps to deal appropriately with it. • Appreciate that worry isn’t necessary, but listening to Jesus’ words is. This focuses our attention on the priority of worship. Martha is often presented as a flustered hostess and, on this occasion, she probably was. However, later on, following the death of her brother, Lazarus, she shows herself to be an astute theologian. No longer distracted in service, she addresses Jesus and confidently proclaims that He is the Christ, the Son of God (Jn. 11:27). What brought about this dramatic change? Likely, she had reflected on Jesus’ words and appropriately prioritized her work and worship. No one could make such a profound statement of belief without having taken the time to listen to what Jesus had taught about Himself. Listening to God is as much a part of worship as is praise and adoration. Some of us, partly because of our personalities, are prone to worry more than others. Yet, for Martha, this was no personality issue, but a faith issue. We read in the Bible that “faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). Hearing the words of Christ through worship can go a long way in helping us if we are overcome by worry. Just ask Martha! Florence MacKenzie has a degree in psychology and a diploma in preaching. As a teacher and author, she is passionate about applying biblical principles to everyday life and ministers with her husband, James, through Equipped for Living. Visit them at equippedforliving.org.

In the late 1800s, Samuel Plimsoll discovered that nearly 1,000 sailors a year were being drowned on ships around British shores because ships were being overloaded. He headed up a campaign to require that vessels bear a load line indicating when they were overloaded. The Plimsoll line is a mark located on a ship’s hull that indicates the maximum depth to which the vessel may be safely immersed when loaded. Your husband has a “Plimsoll line.” Load him up too much – his life or health or your relationship will sink. He needs you to watch his Plimsoll line and be aware of the load on his back. And he needs you to care and fight for him, his life, and his relationship with you and the family. You are the dock guard checking his “waterline” to keep him free from overwork, over-commitment, and over-the-top stressors. As a warrior wife, God has called you to be a defender of your husband, marriage, and family. Stress is one of the main enemies for our husbands. Part of the punishment from the fall was God declaring to Adam: “ . . .By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground . . .” (Gen. 3:19). Men have been stressed out by work ever since! How well do you know your husband’s stress? God calls us to understand how to help our mate process his stress as it nears Plimsoll. Is he carrying stress about his work, the kids, the finances, or the mission God has laid on his heart? We need a better understanding of how our husband processes the stress in his life. In Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, we layer on God’s foundational truth of Gen. 1:27 (God made us male and female) and share that biology explaining that men and women process stress differently. Women talk their way through stress. Men, on the other hand, go to their favorite easy box to rest and recharge. Most are

actually shaped like boxes: the TV, garage, football field, baseball diamond, basketball court, computer, refrigerator, and the bed! In fact the bed box, sex box, is a favorite box for men to go to when they are all stressed out. It’s kind of like the free square in the middle of a BINGO card – they can get there from every square on their waffle! We developed a new code word for wanting sex, “Want to play some Bingo?” (Just seeing a BINGO card in his briefcase or on his desk lowers Bill’s stress!) So where does your man like to go when he is stressed: fishing, hunting, for a run, TV, movie, sports, a hobby, the garage, surfing, boating? Ask him about his favorite pursuits then schedule a visit to his “favorite boxes.” Here are some ideas to help when your man’s load is approaching the dangerous Plimsoll level:

Be a high tech hostess: Visit a tech store that offers

free use of a massage reclining chair or bless your husband with: a massage chair, a health club membership, or a new gadget. For example, for my husband, a new set of running shoes with headphones were perfect to create a renewing running routine in his daily life.

Be a travel agent: Know where to whisk your guy away to for a midweek getaway that will relax, renew, and revive him. Several of my friends have created a “man cave” in their home for a getaway without going away. Be the spa owner: Run a hot candlelit bath, give

him a foot or body massage, or offer a facial designed for a male. (Try a mud mask. Boys and mud have been a winning combo for ages!) Join him in the Jacuzzi, but let him take the lead. Does he want silence? A listening ear? Something else? Tune into his way of unwinding, be aware of how God wired your mate, and seek to personalize the TLC.

Be a comedian: Send him humorous cards, emails, video clips of clean comedians or funny things kids say or do. These quick quips can add a bit of fun in the middle of a very responsible day. God is aware that life is stressful and, if we pray, God will give each of us the discernment we need to give the encouragement our man needs. Pam Farrel is a relationship expert, international speaker, and author of over 38 books including Red Hot Monogamy, Secret Language of Successful Couples, and Red Hot Romantic Tips for Women. Visit her website at Love-Wise.com.

just between us SUMMER 2014

”

by Pam Farrel

get organized! This Mother’s Day... (continued from p 13)

organizing your photo LEGACY by Eileen Koff, CPO Photos are a testament to how we have lived and the memories we cherish. Yet, most are stored in plastic containers, relegated to the basement or attic, and rarely seen. Do you have years and years’ worth of photos that have never even made it out of the film developers’ envelopes? Are you up to your eyeballs in boxes and stashes of photos that are a jumbled mess? Do you wonder how you’ll ever manage to organize the old photos you’ve inherited when you’re already frazzled by your own collection? You rummage through piles of photos in search of a special photograph, only to come up empty-handed. You’ve slowed down or even stopped taking pictures because you just don’t know where you’d put any more photos. You’re simply fed up with feeling overwhelmed! I learned very quickly that helping my clients organize their photos brought a great deal of joy and satisfaction to their families. The following are a few tips to help you organize your photos. Scheduling just a few minutes a day, or a block of time on the weekend, when everyone can help, will bring many joys to your family that will last a lifetime.

GET MORE! about treasuring your family’s memories.

Gather. Collect all of your photos from everywhere

in the house. That means every closet, nook, and table where they have been accumulating. Don’t forget the portrait extras and smaller photos from holidays or school pictures.

Sort. Do you like the idea of seeing life unfold through each year (chronological) or how about sorting through all the special holidays (events)? If you do not have the date on the photo, make your best estimation. It is better to give a rough estimate now then try to guess 10 years from now when the pictures were taken. There is no right or wrong way to sort. Categories. Sort photos into categories appropriate for your family. Some examples may be friends, vacations, school, kids, grandchildren, graduations, holidays, birthdays, or religious events. Label. As you go through each envelope and photo,

label the back with a special archival pen made for this purpose. Do not use a regular pen, as it will make an

Delete. Remember you don’t have to save every photo that you take. Don’t feel guilty. Throw away duplicates that no longer have a use, as well as blurry or simply bad shots. This often cuts down considerably on the pile you have and will make your task easier.

Coming Soon! JBU 2014 CONFERENCE FOR MINISTRY WIVES Hosted by

magazine with Jill Briscoe, International Speaker & Author

September 16-18, 2014 at Camp Forest Springs, Westboro, WI

An earlier version of this article was first published on Today’s Christian Woman website. Ashley Moore is the assistant editor for Christianity Today’s ChurchLawAndTax.com. Additionally, she regularly contributes to Her.Meneutics, Today’s Christian Woman, and blogs at “ashleygracemoore.blogspot.com.” Follow her on Twitter:@ashgmoore.

REGISTRATION OPEN NOW!

www.campforestsprings.org/specialty/ just-between-us-ministry-wives-conference

OR FOR MORE INFO CALL 715-427-5241

Start Somewhere. When I contemplated conquer-

ing my own photos, I had so many envelopes, boxes, and albums I didn’t know where to start. So I chose a birthday. Or you can choose the current year and work backwards when you have extra time. The key to success is to take baby steps. For every half-hour you put into it, it will provide an increased sense of accomplishment. Another great starting point is beginning with the physical photos stuffed in boxes (as opposed to digital files) as they take up a lot of space. They will lose their vibrancy if not properly stored and cared for. Things to avoid: • Storing photos in manila envelopes or unsafe photo boxes.  • Using plastic bags or standard index cards to separate photographs. • Keeping track of memories by using self-stick notes on the face of the photograph. • Storing your photographs in their original photodeveloping envelopes.  Getting your precious memories into a safe, yet accessible, place is not impossible. Our photos represent our legacy and treating them well preserves our stories for future generations. Eileen Koff, CPO, is the founder and president of To The Next Level, a certified professional organizing business based in Long Island, N.Y. Additionally, she is an author, organizing expert, and professional speaker. Visit her blog as tothenextlevel.net and see her ad on the next page.

Organize...

His Way

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I feel buried under all this stuff. I'm suffocating in this room. I'm paralyzed just thinking about sorting through this mess. If you're tired of the chaos in your life and home, then Organize...His Way by Eileen Koff is for you. This workbook is designed to help you deal with clutter and find a peaceful place where you can nurture your intimacy with God. Certified Professional Organizer Eileen Koff has helped hundreds of people find order and balance in their everyday lives. Organize…His Way will change your life too!

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just between us SUMMER 2014

Go to justbetweenus. org/photolegacy for resources, ideas, and tools to help you cherish your photos for a lifetime.

Time and Place. Plan a time each week to walk down memory lane. Ideally, the place where you begin this process should have adequate lighting and enough room to spread out and divide your photos.

indentation on the front of the photo. Be sure to include the names of people, the date, and the location. Because of the convenience of digital cameras, we all take more photos.

I know I’m not the only one who has gone into past Mother’s Days with bitterness on her tongue. But, you only get one mother. And she happens to be the mother God hand-picked for you. He knit you together in her womb for a blessed purpose, and that purpose is deterred every time we let ourselves dig in our heels. To you who can identify, I ask you to join me. Humble yourself enough to give your mom the gift of grace this Mother’s Day. Still struggling? Figure out how many of your diapers she’s changed. Make a list. Throw it out. And then go buy her some chocolate. Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. I love you. z

Mercies in Disguise (continued from p 21)

JBU: What encouragement do you have for women whose stories aren’t turning out like they planned?

Laura: To keep holding on. Keep believing the promises of God even when the world around you tells you something different. And as I say in the chorus of my song God of Every Story, “He is the God of every story/ He sees each tear that falls/We may not understand/ But one thing is certain/He is faithful/He’s a faithful God.” JBU: How do you take care of yourself as a caregiver?

Laura: Changing the focus to say God is the caretaker. To realize that He is the ultimate caretaker of this person and He allows me to be His hands and feet in this situation. I don’t know why that shift in mindset has helped me so much, but it really has because for a long time I took so much of it on myself. God loves this person more than I ever could. A lot of us are trying to nourish the souls of people and that’s just not our job and it’s so exhausting. It’s not your job to make your ailing motherin-law happy, it’s your job to love her like Jesus, but you can’t control whether she’s happy or not and put that on yourself. For a long time my goal was for Martin to never feel disabled, so I ran myself ragged trying to do everything for him so he would never be inconvenienced by his disability – to never feel the pain, to never feel the embarrassment. What it achieved was me being completely run down, completely burnt out, and he didn’t learn things he needed to from this trial because I was trying to cover up the trial. I was trying to manage the situation. Our first response can’t be how can I get this person out of their trial that God has allowed to teach them things.

Laura: By just opening up your hands and doing it. We get so caught up in our own stuff sometimes that we forget that everything God does in our life isn’t just for us. It’s also for everyone around us. It’s not a matter of whether or not God uses the trials we go through; He’s going to use them. Scripture clearly talks about comforting others with the same comfort we’ve received from God. One of my favorite experiences is going with a group of artists to Newtown, Connecticut to do a concert for the Sandy Hook community. What do you say to these families, to these first responders, to all these brokenhearted people? There was one person in our group who knew exactly what to say and it was Mary Beth Chapman – Steven Curtis Chapman’s wife. She stood up and said, “I know that you can’t imagine how you will ever get through this, 42

JBU: How has your daughter changed your life and what have you learned about being a mom?

Laura: Martin can’t drive and he’s just barely starting to work part-time, but none of his disabilities keep him from being a fantastic Dad. He loves that little girl. I knew if we had a child we would love her, but I had no idea just how she would light up our world. It’s been a beautiful season. Half of the songs on my most recent CD “God of Every Story” are written from things that I’ve learned about being a mom. I try to be prayerful asking God what kind of mom do you want me to be and just making sure that I don’t miss a moment. This past Easter my pastor asked me to write a song. I thought, “How do you write a song for Easter?” I opened up the Scriptures and asked God to show me what He wanted me to write. There’s something about reading the story of the cross for the first time as a parent. I think about how I would not give up my only child, Josie, for my best friend and I certainly wouldn’t give her to my enemies. And yet, that’s what God did for us. It just broke my heart. Josie has impacted the way I do life and the way that I write. JBU: How are our trials “mercies in disguise”?

Laura: When I wrote that line I had no idea what I was talking about. Over the past few years I have just begun to scratch the surface of beginning to understand what that means. The trials we’ve walked through have shown me my need for God in a way that I had never experienced before. There’s an intimacy with the Lord that comes through walking through the valley and waiting on Him. There’s a reliance on His Word that we only know when everything else in life fades away. There’s a desire in all of us to live self-sufficient, tidy lives. Scripture doesn’t call us to that; Scripture calls us to live dependent, broken lives for the glory of God. Our trials made me realize that I could no longer pretend we/I had it all together. It was glaringly obvious that we needed help. With Martin’s disability, the outer need woke us up to look at some of the inner needs and that’s a blessing. Anything that makes us cling to the cross of Jesus Christ more is a blessing. It’s believing that everything – every single thing that enters into our lives – has been filtered through the loving hand of an Almighty God. If we believe that, we can accept those things even when we go through very hard things. We can look for blessings in them realizing that they are indeed mercies in disguise. In that sense, I truly feel like I am blessed. z Shelly Esser is the editor of Just Between Us magazine. Additionally, she serves on the Pastoral Leadership Board. She and her husband have four daughters and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis. Visit Laura Story’s website at laurastorymusic.com for touring information, CD’s and books.

just between us SUMMER 2014

JBU: How can women use their stories to help others?

but you will. I thought this would kill me, losing my baby, but it didn’t and God has continued to be faithful in my life.” She didn’t give a sermon; she didn’t have all the answers. It just took someone saying, “I’ve been there before you.” A lot of times women are going through something and they’re on month three of it or year three of it and to see someone whose made it through getting out of bed every morning is comforting.

just between us SUMMER 2014