Daily Prophet -- CMU HON 321U/ENG 513J

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Daily Prophet May 10, 2015

Mercury is in retrograde

Frigid. Absolutely Frigid.

The Ministry of Magic believes this group of muggles may be fully aware of the wizarding world and even seeking out our magical world for their amusement. If you see any of these muggles wandering about, send an owl to the ministry as soon as possible. While many of these muggles may be sporting wands, the ministry believes they are not dangerous as the wands are a hoax. Also, do not believe them if they claim to be part of a house at Hogwarts, these are also false claims.

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MUGGLES?

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE The following series of articles is a special edition of the Daily Prophet, detailing the alleged whereabouts of this group of approximately 33 muggles, traveling from Edinburgh, Scotland to London, England. With the help of The Daily Prophet’s own Rita Skeeter in animagus form as a beetle, we were able to track the group and even gather audio from one of the suspects. Taylor DesOrmeau

ello readers, I am back from my latest adventure! As my faithful readers know, I go on dangerous, exciting, and unique adventures and write about them so you witches and wizards who don’t have the opportunity to experience such outrageous things in person can get a taste of what it is like. If you didn’t catch last week’s daily prophet, I spent a day in the life of a dragon keeper. You can read about it in my blog. This week I will detail my most recent adventure involved taking a sneak peek into guided vacations muggle-style!

As I know many of you don’t have much experience interacting with muggles, this particular series of articles should interest you. The trip lasted eight days; in this installment I will tell you the highlights of the first few days. Muggle transportation is really quite fascinating, yet totally slow and inefficient to say the least. To get to Edinburgh from Detroit, we flew in an airplane and it took eight hours to get there. We really should give the muggles more credit for their ingenuity because goodness knows how they got that giant piece of metal to fly without any magic, but be thankful we have portkeys my friends! Jacquie Fillmore

Harmless Fun or

Selfie Sticks: International Plague? Justin Rabineau

On my recent trip to the UK to see and do all things Harry Potter, I saw everything from castles and cathedrals to movie sets and props. What I didn't expect to see, however, were wands used by Muggles that shoot not spells, but selfies. These wands are better known as selfie sticks. If I had just seen a few, I could have chalked it up to a silly tourist fad. Instead, I witnessed people from all over the world united by a device so narcissistic, Gilderoy Lockhart would own five. For the uninitiated, a "selfie stick" is essentially a long metal pole with a phone attached at the end that allows the user to take a decent selfie without the hassle of actually interacting with another human being. In theory, they sound simple enough, if not slightly comical. In practice, they not only look ridiculous, but they divert the user's focus away from the sight they are there to see. People become more focused on making sure they have the perfect picture to post on Instagram -- to prove to their friends that they were at a castle that they actually didn't pay attention to.

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ondon, our capital city, inhabited by over 7 million muggles. It is they who run the city and decide what will become of it. I have decided to explore the parts of London most densely populated by our muggle counterparts, and to report back to you, The Daily Prophet Readers, on some of the curiosities they have developed. We begin our journey on the Thames River, where the “London Eye” is located. Do not be mistaken, the “London Eye” is not really an eye, but a circular contraption on which muggles step into large bubble-shaped compartments and travel around the outer edge of the circle for 30 minutes. It is unknown as to why they choose to do this, but I believe it is so that they might figure out directions by looking over the entire city. Or perhaps it is to escape annoying family members for some time. Hailey Zacharski

MUGGLES ENTER HOGWARTS Ashley O’Donnell

In an unprecedented event within the wizarding world a group of muggle students from Central Michigan University were given special permission via the Ministry of Magic to enter Hogwarts and step inside our world. This reporter looked on as an awestruck mu gle group stood in front of the doors to Hogwarts and one lucky soul got to push them open. Our secrets were revealed. They walked into the great hall, felt the flagstone underneath their feet, looked up at the candles suspended in mid-air, saw the Gryffindor common room and boy’s dormitory, the potion’s classroom,

Edinburgh 4 Durham 10 Gloucester 14 Oxford 16 London 20 Food 26

and Dumbledore’s office just to name a few of the many areas they were permitted to see. Now, don’t worry, Headmistress McGonagall made sure that they did not discover all of our secrets. But, they were privy to much of our inside information. I have never seen eyes so lit up in wonder as they looked around and discovered each new and exciting aspect of Hogwarts including artifacts from the time the likes of Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, and Dumbledore’s Army roamed the ancient halls.

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EXCLUSIVE

MUGGLE COLUMN The cliché phrase for a Harry Potter fan is the quote JK Rowling used at the last movie premiere, “Whether you come back by page or by screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.” To a lot of fans who grew up with Harry, this quote carries a lot of significance. For a lot of people, Harry Potter was something they were able to escape into, Harry Potter gave these people friends. I know that was true for me, especially when I first came to Central. I found a home, as cliché as it sounds, among the Harry Potter Alliance, and later the Quidditch team. Having the ability to go to all of these places kind of made it seem like we went to Hogwarts, seeing all of the castles and cathedrals made it more real in a sense. While Harry Potter may just be a fictional tale, it carries a power greater than that. It created a lot of connections, and gave children and teens something that showed them they weren’t alone. Harry Potter exhibits the power that literature can have over people, and it’s one that many people just blow off. Stories have been, and always will be, one of the most important aspects of being human. Amanda Shepard

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