Justjordandec by "JUST Jordan"

JUST JORDAN

Issue #

JUST Jordan

Fri 1 Dec IN THIS ISSUE

Introduction Hello everyone and welcome to my Christmas edition of “Just Jordan”. I’ve chosen a lovely tree decoration for my cover photo as it suits the occasion. Again am elated with the response about my “JUST Jordan” group and newsletter, so thank you all from the bottom of my heart! If you’d like to order a paper or hardback edition just drop me a line and I’ll order it for you. I’ve continued with a similar layout but please do share any suggestions for the New Year! As always please do keep your

feedback and messages coming, it’s a pleasure hearing from each and everyone of you! I’ve worked very hard on this Newsletter and I hope that you will enjoy and tell all your friends & family about “JUST Jordan”. You will find information on my “JUST Jordan” Facebook/Twitter page and how to contact me details are also enclosed. As always I look forward to your feedback, submissions and questions for The January edition. Wishing you all a Happy & Prosperous Festive Season!

See ya,

Jordan Fernando xx

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Page 2

Art Corner

Autism From A Dads Point Of View

“ “JUST Jordan” Poet – Kerry McGinn

Kids Zone

…and much more!

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AUTISM FROM A DAD'S POINT OF VIEW

Autism at Christmas By Kes Fernando Christmas is stressful enough for parents, having to budget and shop and organize and decorate and so on… it becomes that much worse when you consider that your child or children won’t even enjoy all your efforts. Quite the opposite, it might be too much for them and ultimately become a disaster. I do have some suggestions though that will hopefully make it a bit easier. The great thing about shopping centres and stores starting the holiday shopping season so early is that it gives those of us with Autistic children a pre-boarding pass. It means we can avoid the crowds and craziness and just take our time. Most of us don’t, but we could… and we should. Actually, you should start shopping in January if you can help it. If you’re like me, Autism and having a family in itself can drain the bank account quicker than we’d like. So us Autism parents have to spread out the shopping throughout the year even more than most families, and it’s a good idea for everyone. If you spend £50 on one present each month for 3 months, it’s far easier to manage than to spend £150 on 3 presents from one paycheck in November or December. Speaking of November, early November is a great time to get your children into the stores to start window shopping. Take some notes and see what they like, what they don’t like. It allows them the freedom to really think about the toys rather than the other kids around them, the crowds all talking at once and so on. It also gives you a stress free outing (or less stress anyway) where you can really get some good vibes from them. Another alternative is catalogues. Everyone’s done the catalogue thing, where you circle toys/games that you want. This is something that even non verbal children can do, they don’t have to get it perfect but can usually get the message across to you. The down side to shopping in November is that their wishes may change in 2 months, but it’s a risk worth taking. Even if they decide they want something else in that time, they’ll likely be reminded and very happy once they see what they were thinking about just a short while ago.

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The good thing about decorations is that they come in all shapes and sizes, however the bad thing is that some will have an adverse effect on your Autistic children. And the affect it might have can be so subtle that it might not show up for several days. Blinking lights, glittery objects, sound making trinkets all over… these can wear down the senses over time without anyone even realizing what it was. A few things should be in your mind: If you insist on lights (and who doesn’t?), pick lights that stay on, or have settings such that you can have them blink from time to time but be set to be consistently on the rest of the time. Some tinsel is nice, but if you have bright lights aimed around or aimed at the tree, these and other decorations can give off blinding little flashes that you and I might not think much about but can get very frustrating. If you notice your child ‘retreating’ from the room or finding a favourable spot, it may be because it has the least glare. Some singing or noise making decorations are great, they’re especially great if they are activated in some way. For example, a singing plushy that goes when you press a paw or foot is a great way to give your children control of it. Random sounds can be a little scary. Background music is best kept in the background, if at all. That means, keep it quiet. If you have it to where you can make out the words and sing along, it might be too loud for your little one. Remember, your children might not have a ‘background’ setting when it comes to their senses. That means that what you barely notice is there, they hear perfectly clearly and are having to battle that music while trying to listen to you. If they don’t listen to you, it might just be that they don’t actually hear you. Get your children to help with decorations. Have them decorate the bottom half of the tree, or along some railings inside the house… someplace low. Getting them involved is a wonderful way of helping them cope with them being there. They feel a huge sense of pride but also comfort in knowing that the decorations are there because they put them there. They remain ‘in control’ of their space. The best you could do is to have everyone to your house for Christmas but unfortunately this just isn’t a reality for everyone. Whether it be a small house, distant family or just that family would like to host their own gatherings sometimes, you’re just going to have to face the reality that you will have to leave the comfort of your own house. First and foremost, before anyone goes anywhere, try your best to make family realize that your child is going to be overwhelmed. Have patience, you can handle it, your child doesn’t mean to be bad and could possibly come across that way at some point. Some might not understand no matter what you say but at least you will have said it, and some will ‘get it’ and hopefully speak up for you when you’re not there and someone makes a comment. It does happen.

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Also, your family has to realize that your child will very likely not hug them, much less give them kisses, to get their presents or treats. Don’t let anyone force your child into that sort of situation. It’s like asking an arachnophobe to go into a room full of spiders. The first person they have to reluctantly hug for something in return may be the trigger that makes the rest of the night unbearable. Make sure your child says please and thank you but that’s it, no one should expect more than that. If you do get Christmas at your house, discuss ‘safe zones’ with your children. Someplace they feel safe, it’s quiet, comfortable… set up some toys or anything else they like such that they can retreat when need be. They might just disappear there the whole time but it’s better than what could be the alternative. Going to someone else’s house to celebrate the holidays doesn’t give you a safe zone but that shouldn’t stop you from finding one. If your child needs space, take them there. Don’t make it a time out zone or anything, but just a place to get away. Let the family think they’re being taken off as a punishment if they truly don’t understand, but don’t let your children think that. It’s just meant to be a way to ease the senses. Also, forget about dressing them up to look good. You seriously have to put away the expectations or opinions, even from family. If they can’t understand that your child simply cannot wear those fabrics or collars or whatever, then too bad for them. They’ll just have to talk behind your back. Your child comes first before their attire opinions. When it comes to differences in Autism, food is a huge factor. You could have thousands of children all in a room and no two of them would have the same diet. Family will never ever listen but it still doesn’t hurt to tell as many people as you can to NOT FEED YOUR CHILD ANYTHING. It’s a ground rule with my family, they know it now and abide by it but still, sometimes things slip. Just last night even, a family member was going to give Jordan a sausage roll until another family member spoke up and said “you better check with her mum and dad first”. She did. Turns out, it had meat in it, which Jordan does not eat as she is now a vegetarian.

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And that’s the key right there. If you get enough family members on board, someone might speak up in time even if some family members don’t know or won’t listen. It could save you a lot of trouble later on. You can try to educate as many people as you can but ultimately the best solution is to just tell everyone not to give your children food. They will be so very tempted to spoil your kids, that’s what family does. But hopefully after a Christmas or two, or some right words, they will listen to you. Let’s face it, you can’t tell everyone what they should or shouldn’t get you. And telling everyone to just send you cash doesn’t make for a very fun Christmas. Hopefully if you’ve done your window shopping early enough, as described earlier in this post, you will have the time to send out some ideas to family from your list. If not, the question has been asked of me if I’d be happy or offended that family tries to get sensory friendly gifts for Jordan. The answer is, I’d be thrilled. Even if not quite right, it would show me that they actually ‘get it’ and are trying. That being said, a good general rule of thumb that my wife and I go by is to let them get what they want to get… and keep the educational and sensory presents up to us. After all, who could possibly know better what to get in those departments than us? And what family member wants to get a boring educational toy when something else would look more fun? In the end, you just have to remember that every parent has a child that gets presents that are just not appropriate, or just too loud, or just simply unwanted… having a child with Autism might make it more likely but it does happen to everyone. Don’t get offended, don’t make a big deal out of it. Just prepare as best you can ahead of time with family. Give them the freedom to get a wrong present. It’ll be ok. It’s Christmas after all. They only want to try to put a smile on their faces. For the first few years, when your child is 3 – 6’ish, depending on how well they’re adjusting, Santa might be best left to the television screen or in a parade. Let’s face it, to a little child that is unable to look their own mother in the eye, Santa can be a tad… scary. Not so much scary in the sense that you or I think of being scared, but simply overwhelming. Santa is made out to be big, hairy, bright in his red suit and a loud boisterous ‘HO HO HO’… to a child with Autism, and many children in general really, Santa can simply be too much. That’s when you get those pictures of children bawling their eyes out on Santa’s lap.

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Don’t ever think that your child is missing out either. Really. Santa is no less magical when you see him on a parade float or performing magic in a movie. Santa is that overwhelming for a reason. Every child loves Santa from a distance. It’s the closeup that is iffy. In the end, it all boils down to some small sacrifices. You will likely be leaving early before the music gets loud (or the people do), plus, your child likely has a very strict routine making bedtime a necessity. You’ll likely be missing out on a meal or two here or there through the holidays as you stay with your child, or console them, or take them home… you’ll likely be missing out on great presents that are too much for your child to handle, you can’t put up the decorations you really want to, just in case. It all sounds pretty brutal and if it’s all stuff that you really love about the holidays, then I’m sorry, it will be brutal. But I would like to think that these sacrifices, even if tradition or you just really want them, they’re small sacrifices to make. A couple of years without tinsel and you’ll wonder why you ever used it. A couple of years of telling family members not to feed your child and they’ll get it. They’ll likely even learn what foods they can feed them that you gave them last year. A couple of years and your child will be able to handle the lights and sounds better as they mature, so it won’t be so bad. Their bed time might even be later by then. If you can avoid a meltdown or two simply by being prepared, getting out earlier than most, educating family, having a plan for safe zones or times to leave…. it’s so worth it. Not just for you but for your children. They don’t want a meltdown at Christmas any more than you do. After all, this holiday is for them, the magic is for them.

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Wishing all my readers a Happy & prosperous Festive Season. See you in the New Year! Love Jordan xxxx

Here’s to another great success in 2018 for “JUST Jordan”!

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Wishing Everyone a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. From Louis and team at 3TFM!

Wishing all my wonderful friends & family a truly magical Christmas and an even better 2018. From Kerry McGinn xx

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Sharon’s 50th I recently had the pleasure of attending my best friend Kerry’s, Mum’s surprise birthday celebrations and what a night we all had!

Mum was her usual silly but hilarious self, Aaron was her usual ‘rude’ but funny self, Dad’s always a chatterbox and Kerry just didn’t stop smiling the whole night! Now I don’t normally look forward to big events or social gatherings as my nerves and anxieties tend to worsen but on this occasion I was just fine as everyone made me feel very welcome and relaxed so I was able to enjoy myself….not saying the ‘Kopperberg’ had anything to do with it mind you although it probably did help!!!!!!!

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Sharon definitely had no idea she was walking into a room full of friends and family as you can tell from the photo, so it was the perfect well kept secret, I think she was well and truly surprised!

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Happy 50th Birthday Sharon from “JUST Jordan” xx

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Kids Zone by Jordan Fernando

More in next

the Kids Zone month!

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Christmas Art Corner

We have another wonderful drawing this month submitted by Lucy Watson from Saltcoats, this time complete with xmas hearts. Lucy drew it as it's an easy and fun pic to draw and would love to visit Disneyland one day. “JUST Jordan” loves your drawing and hopes you get to meet Minnie in person one day!

Please do keep your drawings coming and I’ll do my best to feature them in next months edition of JUST Jordan. Jfernando_1997@hotmail.co.uk or suzfernando@yahoo.co.uk https://www.facebook.com/groups/213071952427706/ @JustJordan2016

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Our regular JUST Jordan poem submitted by Autist Kerry McGinn 20, Stevenston, North Ayrshire.

It’s Christmas time again For me, the time between this year And last year’s Christmas doesn’t seem that long But who cares because for me no matter how long the wait The Christmas cheer inside me stays strong We all love this time of year, don’t we? Hanging up the stockings all around And the children staying up at night Just so they can listen for jingle bell sounds We also can’t beat a good old fashioned pantomime And for me that is certainly true They make us laugh, they make us cheer And you just can’t resist shouting ‘he’s behind you!’ For the children, I hope you have been good And make sure you lay out some milk and cookies, so that Santa is well fed And remember he will only come When you are all tucked up and fast asleep in bed I can’t really say what my favourite part of Christmas is I love the songs, the food and putting the decorations on the tree But it doesn’t matter because no matter what Christmas will always fill my heart with glee

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Review Time Look out for special reviews next month right here in â&#x20AC;&#x153;JUST Jordanâ&#x20AC;?.

Dianne Jackson's "The Snowman" By Jordan Fernando "The Snowman" was adapted from the Raymond Briggs book of the same name and is a Christmas TV special that holds a very special place in my heart. The story takes place in a village where a young boy builds a snowman, which comes to life and they have fun for the whole duration of the short. I really love this animated short because it really fills you with a sense of wonder and the song adds to that feeling as well as making it a truly magical scene in this beloved adventure. It really captures the Christmas spirit considering we get to see Father Christmas near the end. This is why I love this TV special. Rating: Can't rate highly enough!! 5/5

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Dear Jordan…… Ask me anything and I’ll be as frank with my views as Coleen is on Loose Women!! I can be your straightesttalking agony aunt, giving advice on relationships, bullying, early diagnosis and any life problems you may have…..xx Huge thanks to everyone who submitted questions for “Dear Jordan”

“Dear Jordan: I’m not sure what Christmas gift to give my autistic 13 year old granddaughter. Do you have any suggestions? Hi there, that is a good question. It really depends on what she likes. She is a teenager so something perhaps that is suitable for her age. Teenagers can be fussy but if she likes comics or computers then finding out which ones she reads or games that she prefers may be beneficial. She may be into certain types of music so an iTunes voucher or something like that May come in handy! Or new set of noise cancelling ear phones? There are some very nice sensory cushions for sale at the moment and here is an example of one https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/539485417/custom-mermaid-pillow-withreversible?ref=pla_similar_listing_top-1 Hope this helps ! Love Jordan xxx

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“Dear Jordan”: Do you have any tips on how to avoid a meltdown over christmas? I remember when I was as young it was very hard as I had no routine and my plans changed. There were also lots of things changing at school which made me stressed! It is helpful to be very organised and use visual information where appropriate. It would be great to go through this plan as far in advance so that they have time to process. Agree how far in advance you will let them know about changes as equally this can cause a level of stress. Where possible, try and avoid large crowds. Socially there is an expectation to be involved and I hated it as a child. There are lots of autism friendly events at this time of year and they are generally more calming. Places like the cinema, The National Autistic Society have some good information. http://www.autism.org.uk/christmash Hope this helps ! Love Jordan xxx

“Dear Jordan”: What can I do to make Christmas less stressful for my 8 year old Son ? Plan plan plan! I know that Christmas can be a chaotic time but take some time now to plan the days and what will be done everyday, who you will visit and who is coming to visit. There are some good apps that create visual information on the day. They are easy to change if you need to make a change in your plans. Again the National Autistic Society have some great information and links to other organisations too. http://www.autism.org.uk/technology And http://www.callscotland.org.uk/downloads/posters-and-leaflets/ipad-apps-for-complexcommunication-support-needs/ Hope this helps ! Love Jordan xxx POLL: What would you like to read about in “JUST Jordan”? Let us know by contacting us via email: jfernando_1997@hotmail.co.uk or suzfernando@yahoo.co.uk

HOW TO SUBMIT AN ARTICLE. If you would like to submit an article, picture, ask a question or offer support in next month’s newsletter please contact me via email: jfernando_1997@hotmail.co.uk or suzfernando@yahoo.co.uk

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Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On in Ayrshire

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/476315025910707/ or https://www.facebook.com/VintageRoseTherapies.co.uk/

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The Village is open weekends from Saturday 2nd December to Sunday 17th December and will be located at the bottom of the escalators in the Rivergate Shopping Centre.

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“JUST Jordan” Copyright of Miss Jordan Fernando Jfernando_1997@hotmail.co.uk suzfernando@yahoo.co.uk https://www.facebook.com/groups/213071952427706/ @JustJordan2016 https://issuu.com/justjordan19/ Disclaimer: All articles and information in this newsletter are of the writers own personal experiences and opinions.