the girlfriend experience

the girl friend experience by Mara Clark

Have you ever wondered why is it so dificult to create deep, meaningful female friendships as an adult? I have. Don’t get me wrong - I do have wonderful female relationships in my life and we have a fabulous time when we get together. But that’s the problem, we don’t ever get together. Everyone is “too busy” or, dare I say it, I placed our relationship at a much higher priority than they did. A couple of months ago on a Friday night, I found myself home alone with nothing to do. My husband is an amazing photographer and most of his events happen on weekends after 6 pm. Our two teens were either working or with their friends. Free alone time… yes, it can be wonderful when needing to decompress but too much of it gets tedious. There are only so many things I can clean, series to watch, or hobbies to start to then abandon carelessly. I randomly called a few of my girlfriends – no answer. I invited some to meet me for a drink – “too far” was the answer. I gave up. It felt like no one cared about our friendship anymore. Casual text messaging here and there replaced actual face-to-face time. Life can get incredibly busy, but as a person who values time much more than money, I believe there’s always a way to make things happen if you really have the desire to. I was appalled and frustrated. Then I did what I do best when presented with a complex situation: I googled. As stupid as it may sound, I just googled “How to make friends as an adult”. Judging by how many results Google showed me, hundreds of women share my same frustration. Weird but welcomed sense of relief. We all felt the same: Lots of connections, few that felt genuine. I do keep my circle “tight”, not by choice but by experience, but I’m at a point in my life where I choose to let people “in” if they value and enjoy our time together. While I absolutely adore my annual “girl trips” to visit with close friends that live in different states/countries, I guess I wanted more than a few “once a year” weekends. Enter Bumble BFF. Yes, the same dating app where you can swipe right/left for your

next neighborhood “hook up” has a section dedicated to ind your next “BFF” (best friend forever). After reading about it on my google craze I decided to open an account. It felt so weird! Almost as if I was doing something wrong. I explained to my husband the whole purpose of it and to please not think I was there looking for something else. He’s been my sounding board when I shared my frustrations – he didn’t mind at all. The app works exactly like the dating service: Upload pictures, write your bio, likes/dislikes/views on life, post, swipe, match. While it may sound shallow, “matching” based on what we each value and relish makes the relationship low easier from the beginning. I also like that you can see if they have children (if they choose to share that) and how old they are. One of my biggest hiccups while trying to connect with other women is that most of the ladies my age have young kids, while mine are almost out of the house and working. Our lives are very different. I understand time with their children takes precedent and I’m not opposed to “match” with someone that has little kids, but I also know this may not be the friend that will be available without proper planning. I get it! So far, I’ve made wonderful connections and we’ve bonded over the weirdest things and situations. That’s the beauty of spending actual time together; you realize your “weird” quirks are not as unique as you think. What all we have in common? The need to connect and bond with other likeminded women – which immediately creates a sense of respect in the relationship. Some of my new girlfriends like to enjoy a glass of wine, some of them like to exercise and have become my accountability partner, some just like to chill and talk. We still communicate via text as well but the effort for in-person time is always there. Have all the connections being a great match? No and that’s ok. There’s always something to learn. All I can tell you is to open yourself to new experiences and, if like me, you feel lonely on a Friday night, perhaps is time to explore a new type of girl friend experience.

fart

R E A D O U T L O U D T H E N S C R AT C H A N D S N I F F ? H A H A H A

whatcha think?

DID YOU LIKE THIS ISSUE? This is the second issue of amuse magazine and I'm already starting writing and taking photographs for the third. Hopefully, you enjoyed the photos, poems, and stories too. Let me know what you would change or add.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MORE OR LESS OF? Things are starting to get better for us in the states as far as the virus. People have gotten their vaccinations and others have decided not to get vaccinated. I decided that I want to do more create projects and play with those around more. What about you? Think about it and let us know what you think.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IN ONE OF MY NEXT ISSUES? Even if it's "you" that you want to see in an issue, I may be able to make it happen. Upcoming ideas include wedding images, crazy couple photos, your face here photos, and many ideas that haven't popped up in my head yet. I want to include more writings of other people... short poems or song lyrics, who knows? E-mail me your thoughts or poems and we can consider them. Send it to: info@nwl a.com with the

subject title "amuse me".

LET ME KNOW AND THANKS. Yes... I am asking you 'cause I have learned that if you don't ask, nobody does anything. Share some of your thoughts or comments by e-mail at info@nwl a.com.

DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING OR JUST ENJOYED FLIPPING THROUGH THE PAGES? A magazine can be fun to create but it does take time to put it together with the way you want it. Creating a l ow and incorporating the style that matches your personality and includes things you like as well. Did you go to the Seabreeze Jazz Festival? What type of music do you like and listen to the most?

CONTACT call 850.357.0088 and leave a message

E-MAIL jim@iamjimclark.com

FACEBOOK facebook.com/amusedestin

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Capturing the moment is knowing when to press the button and getting lucky helps too.

iamjimclark . c o m photographer

Call me at 850.357.0088 to discuss your next photo session, a fun portrait or candid event coverage.

[ uh-myooz ] dictionary.com

verb (used with object), a·mused, a·mus·ing.

1. to hold the attention of (someone) pleasantly; entertain or divert in an enjoyable or cheerful manner: She amused the guests with witty conversation.

2. to cause mirth, laughter, or the like, in: The comedian amused the audience with a steady stream of jokes.

amuse ~ to occupy the attention with something pleasant. That which amuses is usually playful or humorous and pleases the fancy. words related to amuse tickle, gratify, wow, please, delight, cheer, charm, regale, interest, gladden, divert, panic, grab, crack up, put away, knock dead...

3. Go to page 5 for Music - an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.

4. Go to page 39 to see the amuse word of this issue. If you already did what did you do or think about it?