The SunnyDay Chronicles II

The SunnyDay Chronicles VOL2

Let's Go CRAzy?

by Ashley C. Simpson

Ok, so I will admit that my relationship with crying is complicated. I would say most of the time it is warranted; occasionally I might overreact but you will have to ask my husband to be sure. My relationship with wine and crying is pretty common. Humm…maybe that’s why they say stop your whining? Insert lol. This being said, my relationship with frustration and crying is no less than infuriating. That relationship is always tainted with a label, and it’s called acting CRAZY. Why is it that the stereotype of crazy is always attached to a woman? I know whenever I have been told “you are acting crazy” by anyone, including myself, my soul burns with both rage and embarrassment. The anger bellows up from beneath my every fiber like a tea kettle about to spew

out steam. Images of that quirky Loony Tunes character Yosemite Sam come to mind as I try to hold back tears and re-center my emotions. Inside I’m screaming “Why won’t you just listen to me? I’m not crazy! I’m just dealing with this nonsense!”. Meanwhile, in a galaxy known as the patriarchy, Men seem to get off so easily. Men act angry, narcissistic, egotistical, or arrogant, but women… women act CRAZY. And women always CRY. Crazy and hysterical are both terms commonly used to describe women in any emotional state we may have. The history of the word is so ingrained into the everyday lives that we use it without conscious effort against each other, but perhaps we should start reconsidering why. Turns out this is by language design, as the Greek word hystera literally means uterus, and the Latin word hystericus means “of the womb.” The term hysteria has been used against women in any emotional state dating back to Hippocrates. The condition was exclusive to women. The belief was that disease lived in the uterus and caused only women to be neurotically insane, hysterical or “Crazy”. Sigmund Freud believed that hysteria was a psychological disorder and connected the origin to repressed sexual fantasy in women. Can we all please say “wtf”? A very smart person once told me that crying gives me back my power. When I am frustrated, I should cry it out and feel empowered. I should accept that I am emotional and logical and a crier. Ok, so I can accept this, but what I have failed to understand is how I can be all these things successfully. How do I empower myself through tears without the label of crazy? I believe the answer lies in understanding the stigma attached to crying and how the word “crazy” sets us off, makes us feel belittled, and causes self-loathing. If I stop associating the word crazy with crying, does it make it ok to cry? If we take a step back from the stereotype of crazy, we can see as humans we all experience heightened emotions, but for some reason, we are not supposed to talk about it. We are judged and shamed if we show an ounce of humanity in an emotional way. In today’s society, the right to act on, and not suppress feelings is still very much attached to a negative stigma, but repressed feelings often lead to frustration and greater confrontation. Acts of “crazy” and crying. Now if that isn’t irony. Crying is essential to emotional release and emotional health. Crying is your brain taking a big deep breath and a re-set. There is great satisfaction in feeling the moment and letting it go. Saying I am hurting, or scared leaves all of us vulnerable and open to criticism. We as women shouldn’t have to apologize for a stereotype that attempts to demean us, and shut us up. We as humans should all know that it is ok to FEEL crazy and know that you are not, and accept that you need to talk about it. And men, that goes for you too. Even if it means crying it out and acting CRAZY; don’t worry we women are on your side.