We Digress ... 2018

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We Digress...

2018



We Digress... 2018

An Art and Writing Collaboration

Kamehameha Schools Maui Art Teachers: Ms. Abe, Ms. Winterbottom -Guntzel Writing Teacher: Ms. Haina Headmaster: Dr. Parker Academies Principal: Ms. Ka’awa 9-10 Principal: Mr. Cagasan Vice Principal: Mr. Delatori



Table of Contents Christmas Eve 6

Different from the Expected 9 Ode to a Water Bottle 11

Dominant Impression 13 Limericks 14

Oath to You 16

The Concert 18

Mundane Day 19 The Now 20

Fitting In 22

Getting Ready for the Day 24 Graveyard 26

Revenge Reversal 28

Swinging for the Fences 31

Running Rapid on the Streets of Akihabara 32 Too Tired to Care 34 No Take Backs 36 Comeback 39 I Sea You 41

Looking Closer 42

Ode to My Blanket 44 Another Chance 45 Switcheroo 48

Simple Acceptance 50 Splats of Red 52


Christmas Eve

by Ashley Taylor Peralta rush over to the line knowing that if the adults get there first, they will be waiting for a very long time, or, worse, we just might run out of food. Amongst their bickering of “Eh, I was here first”; “No, I was!” I find my way to the front easily, without hassle, and I get my food and go on my merry way to a table. The warm smooth bottom of the plate feels amazing against my freezing hand, and once my butt is on a chair, my face is in the food. About 10 minutes after everyone eats, the fun begins. Games that are so simple get really competitive after a while. To the grass area we move, setting up teams for a game of Gimme Gimme. Ut-u-tete – come the sounds of a family member from each team imitating a Kumu Hula with three other teammates imitating haumāna, and the soonto-follow sounds of the entire family laughing at the poor imitations. Games like these get competitive, but in the end, we laugh and move on. Games go on and prizes are given until it’s time for something everyone has been waiting for, even the adults: the group giftgiving of the Secret Santa gifts! Kids first, as usual. Waiting in anticipation, the little ones tippy toe over to the edge of the table to wait for their presents to be put in front of them. It doesn’t discourage me that every year I get one year closer to the cut-off age for receiving presents; in fact, it makes me more excited. Eyes widen, and smiles get brighter and brighter with each gift that is put in front of them. Then finally, the countdown, 3...2...1! Open The Presents! The Waikapū House garage—a messy, but happy scene.

Walking into the Waikapū house garage, the setup is different from its normal use. Makeshift walls are set up to block the crisp, slight wind of Christmas Eve. A Christmas tree in the corner, with not a hint of green to be seen under all the decorations, adds more Christmas spirit to what the food, desserts, and table decor already give off. In the back are tents decorated with mellow Christmas lights that make you feel as if you’re sitting in a small fancy restaurant, and, of course, there are the inflatable Christmas decorations of Snoopy and a chimney. Family members arrive one by one like visitors making their way out of the airport after being away from home for a long time, making their arrival known with a “Hi, family,” a bright smile and a wave. It’s funny to think that the majority of the family enters like that, but that’s what makes my family so unique. As more people arrive, it’s a circus with my aunties and uncles catching up with each other, the little children laughing like there is no tomorrow, and the young adults talking about the latest trends or drama in their lives. This is the one time where it seems that none of the family members is missing, and that’s what makes this time so special. Clap-clap. “Okay, everyone, time to pray for the food!” my aunty calls out to everyone. We waddle and huddle together as we try to fit everyone into the too-small garage. The air engulfs me, the sweet smell of the pineapple ham, turkey, pork ‘n peas make me smile bigger, and I turn my head to the lineup of food that is being heavily guarded by silver foil. As soon as the prayer is over, the children

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Madison Dutro 7


8

Ariana Hurdle


Different from the Expected by Ashley Taylor Peralta “Those teams don’t like to lose, Ash. You need to understand that.” my dad would say to me while the bang bang bang of the ball filled the gym, sweat dripping down my face and my legs starting to ache from the constant bending, but I wasn’t about to let that stop me from going. It was from all those times that I was under the impression that collegiate basketball players or collegiate athletes, for that matter, were just all about business on and off the court. I thought that they were entitled and didn’t really care about the outside world, only their team; however, I also saw them more as players who know what they need to do and that if they don’t win, the coach will probably make them run, and no one wants to run. I thought this about collegiate players since I was in about the seventh grade, but it wasn’t until my junior year in high school when BasketballMAUI, an organization that puts together events for the basketball youth of Maui, put on a women’s college basketball tournament. This was the first women’s college basketball tournament to ever be on Maui. I helped out at the tournament because Sparks Basketball Maui, the basketball club I am a part of, had been asked to be part of the it, and the club asked its players to help with wiping the floor when there is sweat on it and such. My friend Neil Mae and I were sitting next to each other watching the first game, which was between BYU and UNLV. Both teams were good, but we all knew what team we really wanted to watch, and that team was Oregon State. Why? Well, they were a nationally ranked team, and they had a future WNBA player on their team— Sydney Wiese. A lot of people were there to watch. I was just watching the game between BYU and UNLV in awe. I hadn’t watched a women’s college game since I was in the eighth grade, and I wasn’t this close to the players at that time. A nudge on my shoulder made me look away from

the game in irritation. It was Neil Mae. “Ash! It’s Oregon State, brah!” she squealed just quiet enough that no one could hear her fangirling. I turned my head in the direction she was facing and saw them, Oregon State, walk in. They were all taller than me, their shortest girl being 5’9. “They’re so tall” I exasperated. “I know right!” Neil Mae responded. “Towel!” one of the refs yelled to us. I snapped my head back to the court. A few younger kids and I went to wipe the floor. When I returned to my seat, Neil Mae grabbed my arm and yanked me down. “Hey, what was that for?” I irritatingly asked her. “Isn’t that Maddie?” she asked pointing to a girl with an Oregon State uniform on. Maddie was a girl that we met at a Stanford basketball camp back in our freshman year. She was a junior in high school when we were freshmen. Maddie was on my team at the camp, and we weren’t exactly close when we left but we did work well together on the court. Together we won the camp tournament, and I honestly never expected to see her on Oregon State’s team considering that she was really leaning toward going to Stanford when I last talked to her back at the camp. “No way that is her,” I said shocked, “and stop pointing before they think we’re weird,” I add knocking down her hand. “Go say ‘hi’ brah” Neil Mae said pushing me. “Uhmm, yeah, no. She probably doesn’t even remember me” I say shaking my head. “You mean to tell me that, she isn’t gonna remember the short girl that capped her during one-on-one and then ended up winning a camp tournament?” she added with a lifted eyebrow. “I know I wouldn’t, if I was her,” I said laughing, and my dad/coach came and sat behind us. “Coach, it’s Maddison Washington,” Neil Mae said while we both turned towards him. “Who’s that?” he said nonchalantly; honestly,

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we weren’t surprised that he would forget. “The one I played with at the Stanford camp, the one I blocked. She’s over there with Oregon State,” I said nodding towards them. He looked towards the team and back at me, “You should go say ‘hi.’” “What? No. She probably doesn’t remember me. Plus, they look focused; what if she can’t talk to me anyway?” I said. I was truly scared. I felt like I couldn’t talk to them because they had the next game. What if they were in “their zone,” and I went and messed it up, or what if they just didn’t want to talk to me and nudged me away. Not to mention, Maddie was also sitting two people away from Sydney Wiese! I couldn’t just go over there and talk to them. “I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine to talk to her for bit. The coach is a pretty cool guy anyway, and also, how can she not remember you? You capped her, and you’re, like, six inches shorter than her,” my dad said in his nonchalant way again. I am definitely not like him. He could honestly talk to anyone; I can’t to do that. “Go say ‘hi’ now or you’re gonna run,” he added, shrugging his shoulders. He would do that to me. “Fine, I’ll go say ‘hi,’” I said getting up nervously. I slowly walked over to where they were sitting, and I turned my head to Neil Mae and my dad. They both made a shooing motion, telling me to go on. I turned back to the players and looked at Maddie. They were all watching the game until I said something, “Maddie? Do you remember me, I’m Ashley. We went to the Stanford camp together?” I said, hoping she did, so I didn’t look like fool. “Oh my gosh, yes I do!” she said with a smile, and she hugged me and I hugged her back, happy she remembered me. “How have you been?” I asked her with a slight laugh. “I’ve been great, as you can see. The work paid off,” she answered laughing. “How have you been? Are you a senior now?” “I’ve been good actually, and, no, I’m a junior actually,” I reply. “Oh wow, that’s great. I thought you were older,” she laughed. “Hey, let’s talk after my game,” she adds. “Yeah for sure,d” I smile while walking away. I let out a big breath and walked over to Neil Mae and my dad. “I told you,” my dad said with a cocky smirk on his face, and I just shook my head. Time few by, and we were now watching the Oregon State game. They were killing Idaho. Once the game was over, I went to tell my mom that I knew one of the Oregon State players.

My mom was surprised and took me over to ask Maddie for a picture. She asked Maddie if she really remembered me and a whole bunch of other stuff. I was basically just standing there listening to their conversation. Again, I was surprised that she was so nice, as were the other players. I looked around and saw the other players interacting with the young kids and taking pictures when asked, just looking like they were having a good time. “Do you want to meet anyone?” Maddie asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. “Oh, yeah, sure. Can we go see Sydney Wiese?” I asked her. “Of course, follow me” She smiled and walked towards Sydney Wiese. I was nervous again. I was about to meet a future great WNBA player. I was fangirling on the inside. What if she didn’t want to talk to me though? That would be unfortunate. “Syd,” Maddie said while tapping the 6’ guard with a bright future ahead of her. “What’s up, Mads?” Sydney Wiese said turning around. “I’d like you to meet Ashley, she balls too,” Maddie said looking at me. “Hi, it is nice to meet you Sydney Wiese,” I said a bit nervous and going to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you, Ashley, my fellow baller, and just ‘Sydney’ is fine,” she said laughing. “And I don’t know about you, but I like hugs,” she said while opening her arms and a wide smile. I smiled back and hugged her. Sydney was so nice! “So you play ball?” Sydney asked me “Yeah, I do,” I replted. “Where at?” She asked. “At Kamehameha School, it’s a private school here,” I said smiling. “I don’t think I would be able to say the name of that school even if I tried,” she said laughing, causing me to laugh. “Hello, I’m her mom. Can she get a picture?” my mom butts in. “Of course!” Sydney said excitedly. We stood next to each other, and she put one arm around my shoulder and we smile. “Wait, we gotta do the duck face,” she said quickly. “You know how to do that, right?” “Of course, I do” I said laughing, and we posed. We took a couple more pictures and talked a bit more before she had to go. In that time, my mom showed her one of my highlight videos, which was really embarrassing actually, I got so red; however, Sydney Wiese loved it, which made me really surprised and happy. Someone like her liked how I played and thought I was good.

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Ode to a Water Bottle

by Jaimelee Felipe

O glorious colors of a blue sky reflecting on the waters. Bubbles of Blue, green, and white fill your space with bumps of textiles as my hands caress your cold aluminum. The ding! of your metal as it hits another sends vibrations through my skin. Life flows within you a squishing sound that quenches my thirst. The plain satisfaction of your rivers is life itself. How I bring you everywhere I go And need you for every event. Your smell of nothing is truly something. The beauty internally matches the beauty externally. Needed by many across the globe. How far will we go? 11


Natalie Warrington 12


Dominant Impression

by Ashley Taylor Peralta

Fear struck as my mom yelled at me to get up, as I jumped out of bed and got ready, and as I sat with my family in a small closet, awaiting our fate. Saturday, January 13, 2018, I awoke with a scare. My mom was yelling like she was using a bullhorn, but I soon realized it was just her alone. “Get up now!” I roll over, my face in the warm comforting pillow, the dryness of confusion in my mouth, and I continue to lie until again I hear, “Get up now! There’s been an incoming missile threat headed for Hawaiʻi!” I could hear the anxiety in my mom’s voice as she screamed at us again. I shoot upright in my bed, look around and run my hands through my bushy hair, and hear the screeeeeech of my sisters’ bed in the next room. I look towards the hallway and see the small glow of the light, the only thing that seems bright in the house. After, the realization of this situation and my mom’s eyes, wide like a caught deer, I shot up out of my bed and hurriedly got ready, my mind a giant mess with worry and fear. Flinging my blanket off me, I am met with the cold air, with the cold, hard, lifeless concrete when my feet make contact with the floor, and the seemingly gloomy darkness of my room like a sad movie. With the bitter taste of fear, I fling clothes around my room like papers in the wind, until I hear a slam! My

head snaps around, and I reach for the rough white wall beside my door and see that it is my sisters slamming their drawers and trying to hurry up like mom had said. My vision starts to blur, and I realize I am about to cry. Quickly I tell myself, “No, not right now, just hurry up, get ready, and get to mom guys.” As soon as I put on my shirt, I rush to the closet where the rest of my family is huddled up, my mind still messy with worry and fear. Sitting in the closet, my sisters look around unsure of what to do, and my baby brother is just being the baby he is, like he has no care in the world. “They don’t deserve to be in this situation,” I think to myself. Heaviness weighs on my heart for my siblings; they are confused as to what is even going on. I hear the thunk of our room doors being slammed shut and the sigh of worry in my mom’s voice when my grandma doesn’t answer her phone. My stepdad stands at the doorway of the closet, his expression hard as a rock as he listens to the radio, listening to the news. I feel the warmth from my brother’s hand in mine, and it somewhat puts me at ease, but not quite. At this point, it was a waiting game to see what would happen, but from the moment I woke up, to rushing to get ready, and to sitting in the closet with my family, there was nothing but fear etched into my brain and heart.

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Limericks

by Ashley & Kailani

There once was a girl from South Cali Who wanted to visit Death Valley So she stole an old Honda With a young anoconda Then she turned ‘round and named it Aunt Sally. There once was a llama from Prague Every day it would eat like a hog And when it spit, Someone always got hit, By that strange, messy llama from Prague. There once was a girl from Lahaina Who wished to be one with the ʻāina So, she dug up the weeds But found centipedes And now she lives way off in China. I once met a girl from Puk-town Every day she would run all around ‘til she stood in the road And got bit by a toad Now she’s having a nervous breakdown.

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Natalie Warrington 15


Oath to You by Ashley Taylor Peralta Together we are strong Apart we are weak To be together always, It’s impossible

We both know, It will be hard With trust and true love It seems we’re together, always

Apart we are weak So we learn as we go It’s imposible Some would say

It will be hard But our love only grows It seems we’re always together One day we will be.

So we learn as we go Having a rough road ahead Some would say, “How do you do it?”

But our love only grows To be together always, One day we will be. Together we are strong

Having a rough road ahead We both know, “How do you do it?” “With trust and true love”

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Natalie Warrington 17


The Concert

by Ashley Taylor Peralta

STAPLES CENTER! SO many girls here. Ohh, dang, it’s the Magic Johnson statue! What time is it? Where is the gate? It’s getting kinda warm now. Fix my hat. Oh, gotta get a picture of that! Where is my aunty? I can’t believe I’m here. Ohh, there she is. What is she wearing? Where are the rest of her clothes? I am, like, the only brown person here. I can’t wait for this to start. I’m so close to seeing them. Take a picture of the ticket. Selfie! Post that on Insta! Outside the Staples center. Ooooh, there’s our gate to enter through. Do I have to give them my bag? Where’s our seats?! There they are! We’re pretty high up, but I can still see them clearly. It’s pretty loud now. I’m still the only brown one around here. Where’s my signs? Ohh, there they are. OMG, 5SOS! They sound so good! I can’t believe I’m here! They sound amazing live! Ughhh, I wish I had someone my age that I knew with me besides my aunty! But I’m glad I’m not by myself. Okay, they’re done! One Direction, cmon cmon cmon cmon! OMG the lights just went out! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, there they are!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ITʻS REALLY THEM! THEY ARE RIGHT THERE! SEE MY SIGN PLEASE! SEE ME! THEY SOUND AMAZING, AND I’M SEEING THEM!

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Puili Villanueva


Light opens my eyes Bristles clean my teeth Wheels transport me To a place I don’t want to be Teacher’s mouth moves Nothing comes out Daydreams of what could be The bubble pops when my name is called No words are heard Grasping for my blanket Nothing is there

Makena Pang

Mundane Day

by Jaimelee Felipe 19


The Now

by Ashley Taylor Peralta

Sleek white blankets the ground, Frost at the tips of my lips, The crunch beneath my feet, Loneliness fills my soul, But never more at peace, Knowing this is now And the future will come.

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Chelline Kamaka-KeliĘťiliki 21


Fitting In

by Jaimelee Felipe

Screech! The bus halts and jolts Anela, waking her up to the first day of her freshman year in high school. She has a young, fresh, innocent look with wide eyes as she looks at her school. She heads off the bus, goes to her locker, drops off her stuff, and heads to the first-day-ofschool assembly. She walks by herself since she doesn’t know anyone in this new school, but she wants to fit in with a group that shares her passion for singing and dancing. Being the only blondhaired, 5’1” girl who’s on the chubby side when the majority of everyone else is brunette and tall makes her stick out a bit. After the assembly, there’s a clubs and activities fair to get people to join different activities throughout the school. Anela decides that this could be a way for her to fit in with a group. She walks through the booths and sees Science Club, no; Robotics Club, no; Key Club... no. Then, she sees Drama Club and thinks, Yes! That’s the club for me. She goes up to the booth, and the club President, Janson, says, “Hello. Are you interested in joining Drama Club?” “Yes. I love to sing and dance. I think this would be a great fit for me,” Anela responds. “We have a performance coming up in 2 months, and auditions are this week. If you would like to audition, you can talk to the director and sign up, but if not, you can just sign up here to be a part of the club,” he says. Anela smiles and nods as she signs the paper where Janson is signaling her to. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Janson calling for their director, Ms. Bell, but she ignores him as she talks to her teacher group. Anela goes off looking at other clubs, but sees no fit. It’s time for her first block of the day, choir. She is excited. She believes that in this class, there will be others like her who might want to join Drama Club, too. “Hi, my name is Anela. What’s yours?” she

asks the first person she sits next to. A girl says, “Hi. My name is Taly. I’m a sophomore.” “Do you know anything about Drama Club?” Anela asks. “Yes, and it’s not positive. I don’t think you’d like the director.” “Ms. Bell?” “Yah, she’s also the speech teacher, and her class is really hard, but she doesn’t stay after school to help anyone. And these classmates of mine? They were crying during their speeches because they were so emotional, and Ms. Bell gave them F’s without any chance to redo them,” Taly says. “Really?” Anela asks. “She is mean, scary, and unfair. Personally, I wouldn’t join Drama Club,” Taly responds. Class starts and Anela thinks about her choice. Choir is done and now she has Speech. By now, she knows this teacher is the same person as the Drama Club director and is a bit afraid. Speech class starts, and Anela hears the harsh voice of Ms. Bell for the first time. The way she speaks makes her seem strict, and everyone knows they can’t mess around in this class. Anela is at war in her head about whether to ask to audition or not. Class ends, and the day goes by as Anela thinks about joining Drama Club or not. The next day, Anela realizes she only has until Friday to make her decision. On Tuesday, she goes to speech class and doesn’t ask. She believes she still has time. Wednesday, and she doesn’t ask again. On this day, she gets bullied for being the only blond kid in school and cries to herself in the bathroom. Thursday comes, and she doesn’t speak out again, and the same bullies make Anela cry. She knows she needs a group to be in. It’s Friday, and she has still to make the choice. All throughout her speech class, she contemplates her decision. She has been practicing speaking to the teacher in the mirror and doing her audition

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song and dance in the days leading up to this day. She tells herself it will be the day that she will talk to Ms. Bell. Then, her mind starts to change as the negative comments about her from upperclassmen fill her thoughts, but she really wants to be in Drama Club. It’s the end of class, and Anela feels a shiver down her spine as she approaches the teacher. “Hi, Ms. Bell. Can I audition for the play?” she asks shakily. “Yes, you can. Today is the last day to audition after school. You should’ve asked earlier,” she responds with a little scowl. “Thank you. I’m sorry. I’ll see you after school,” Anela responds. A huge weight is off her shoulders, and she realizes, this is it. I did it. The day goes by, and it’s time for auditions. Anela meets some others there to audition, and their talent scares her. She sings the song, “Lean on Me” by Bill Withers, then does a dance she choreographed herself. She is finished, but doesn’t think she was good enough. The results come a week after the auditions. Anela looks at the paper. Her eyes are wide, and a smile comes upon her face. She got the lead role! Others who had auditioned start to congratulate her. On the first day of rehearsals, Anela sees a familiar face. It’s Janson. “Hey, Anela!” screams Janson. “Hey, Janson,” responds Anela. “I’d like to introduce you to some people. Here’s Sandra, Donna, Pete, and Ethen. We’re all juniors and Drama Club officers,” says Janson. “Hi, nice to meet you,” Anela says as she shakes their hands. Rehearsals start, and Anela fits right in. The next day, Janson sees her sitting alone and tells her, “Come sit by us.” Janson, Ethen, Pete, Donna, and Sandra all motion for Anela to sit by them. They tell fun stories about their experiences in Drama Club, and Anela is surprised to learn that Ms. Bell actually took the club on a field trip to the movies one day!

A few more weeks go by, and Anela is just not getting one line of her dialogue, no matter how many times she practices it. “Everyone, take five! Anela, come here,” says Ms. Bell. “I know I’m not getting it. I’m trying Ms. Bell,” says Anela. Ms. Bell takes five minutes to give Anela some hints about how to memorize and deliver her lines. “Don’t worry. I know you’ll get it. Just take it slow,” says Ms. Bell Anela takes a deep breath and goes back up on stage. When it comes time for her line, she has it down. Two months later, it’s show day. Anelas knees are shaking in fright. She has been preparing for this day for two months, and it has finally came. Her new friends try to calm her down and give her a hug to tell her it’s going to be all right. Then comes Ms. Bell who has been like Anela’s second mom throughout rehearsals. She says, “You got this. You’ve been practicing for two months. I remember my first performance. I was so afraid to go on.” “You?” asks Alyssa Mendez Anela. “Yes, me. We are all afraid of what others might say, but you are so talented, show everyone what you’re made of,” says Ms. Bell. Anela nods her head. The curtains open, the lights come on, and Anela takes a deep breath before she goes. Once she’s on, she is full of life and embodies her character. The feeling exhilarates her all throughout the performance. At the end of the performance, her family and friends greet her with leis and hugs. This was the first time she had ever done anything in front of an audience that big, and she couldn’t have done it without Ms. Bell, the teacher whom she had already judged before getting to know the real her.

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Getting Ready for the Day

by Jaimelee Felipe

“Good morning,” whispers my mother as I open my squinting eyes to the peering sun coming through my window shades. Thoughts of what the new day could bring me flow through my mind while I whisper back in a hoarse voice, “I need more sleep.” One microsecond later, my mom rips the sheets off my bed and leaves the room. As I sit up on my sheets covered with flower prints and soft as a sweater in the winter, a clash of sounds fill my head. The roaring of the fan as the cool breeze wakes me up, the vibration of Christian music playing from the radio on the left side of my bed, and the chatter of the T.V. deafen me. I stand up in a sluggish state and hear the pit patter as I walk to the bathroom at the speed of a grandma. It’s complete darkness until the lights, which are supposed to light my way, flick on and blind me. With my Asian eyes half-closed, I reach out for a shiny, smooth metallic knob, and the roar of the water opens my eyes up again. I reach out my right hand under the soft refreshing waters until I feel it is lukewarm, and the noise comes to a halt. I grasp my face wash from the dark brown wood cabinet as the water runs again. The splash of the water on my face comes upon me like a dive into the pool as I am immediately awoken. My senses tingle as they become more in tune with the environment around me. The taste of my stale saliva and dry bathroom air make me feel gruesomely gross, so, I change the temperature of the water and start to brush away the film on my teeth, brush away my tiredness, and brush away my sluggishness. I feel the soft and flexible bristles moving over my teeth as the sounds from the mechanical toothbrush bring

me back to trips to the dentist. The taste of mint overwhelms my mouth as I stare into nothing, like a statue with only my arm moving. I spit, gargle, and repeat until I feel like a blooming garden-picked flower in springtime. I’m done with the bathroom and head back to my room, where the cool air from the fan brushes against my face. I grab the clothes I had pre-set the night before and place them upon my bed. The shirt color I had chosen is the morning’s blue sky. I am snug in what I am wearing, and the comfort of the softness brings me peace knowing I don’t need to pick an outfit. The ruffling of material as I change into my clothes gives me a sense of readiness for the day to come. Then, I put on my deodorant, put on my perfume, put on my lotion, put on my bags, and put on my face, ready for the day to come. It’s off to the races as I run furiously to the white sports car with my mom following close behind. I relentlessly yell, “Hurry up! You’re such a slowpoke, Ma.” Once again, I am ignored as her focus is to start up the car and get me to school on time. A few moments later she responds, “The turtle won the race, not the hare.” Silence fills the time until the car comes to a standstill. I look towards the digital clock on the dashboard blaring 6:58 and the alertt goes through my mind. Late again! I frantically open the car door, grab my belongings, and give my mom a hug as she gives me a kiss and yells, “Have a great day!”

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Madison Dutro


Chelline Kamaka-KeliĘťiliki 26


Graveyard

by Jaimelee Felipe

Wind whistles against the rows upon rows of misunderstanding and rivalry. No sense to it, no great truth or golden prize. Only heavy wood in the dirt, in rows upon rows. From the south, came the sun-scorched sands howling; From the east, came the frigid vorpal blade of cold. From the west, came shells and enlightenment cowering; From the north, came the memory of those once bold. Maybe they speak yet, from a century ago. But what would they say To us now? They’d say we’ve ruined the dream, That we’re daft heads of clay. Before temper flares And curses exclaim, Realize who you speak to. These were once men Who’d do nothing but What you’d make them do. Men from the Eagle, heroic and brave; Men from the Lion, adamant and towering. Men from the Bear, brutish and lumbering; Men from the Bull, aggressive and spirited. Is it possible To be above or below yourself? If yes, then you’re attentive. If not, where are we?

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Revenge Reversal

by Jaimelee Felipe

Ring! Class had ended, I started to head to my next class on the other side of the campus, But with my luck, trouble stirred on my walk there. “Where do you think you’re going, Shrimp?” shouted Billy. My mind froze along with my body. But the time the signal got up for me to run, I felt two strong pairs of hands lift me into a yawning chasm of a locker that I knew too well: Billy Strong’s locker. The cold interior felt as sticky as gum. It’s where I spent most of my 3rd and 4th periods before the janitor helped me out. The hands that lifted me here were Billy’s lackeys, Carl and Jimmy. They’re all 6-foottall basketball stars whom the school loves, while I’m the 4’ 11” nerd who spends most of his time in Science Club doing experiments. The agony of this routine started to fade away the day I met Charlotte. She was like an angel before my eyes. She was the new student, and we met in Science Club. The first time I went up to her, my hands were sweating, and no words came out. So, I wrote her a note and gave her small gifts such as candy, a pencil, or help when she needed it. My heart bounced joyfully in its bony cage every time I saw her. She loved math and science just like me. Every moment I spent with her made my life feel complete. I made a decision to go after the girl I fell in love with. I brought her flowers, chocolates, poems that all proclaimed my love. I made time to spend with her and did everything right. But she rejected my love and wanted to be “only good friends,” which put a damper on my heart. Then, she met Billy. Now, whenever we’d talk, it would be about Billy and how wonderful she thinks he is. It wasn’t long ‘til Billy noticed how beautifully

brilliant Charlotte was and swooped the new girl off her feet. The girl that made me feel my life was complete was in the hands of my nemesis. Charlotte and I still talked at Science Club, but it felt shorter every day, until I didn’t see her anymore, except on Billy’s arm spending time with the cool kids. Days, weeks, months, passed by as the basketball boys would taunt and bully me. Nothing they did ever felt as excruciating as the stabbing pain in my chest when Charlotte walked out of my life and into theirs. I decided enough was enough. It was time to teach the boys a lesson. The grudge I carried didn’t go away. The next day in Science Club, I continued with my experimentation with atoms and subatomic particles. I dreamed of creating a miracle cure to make me grow taller to stand up to the basketball bullies. This dream turned into an obsession. I stayed up until 3 a.m. every day, and in 10 years’ time, I created not only a machine that could make me grow, but also make others shrink. In the 10 years that I was working on this device, Billy and Charlotte stayed together, and now they were planning their wedding. I decided to crash it and bring my shrink ray along with me. “Remember me!?” I shouted crazily. “You’ll be sorry you ever messed with me.” I pointed the shrink ray at Billy, who was about to say his I do’s. The shrink ray felt as cold and as heavy in my hands as my heart did in my chest. It was buzzing with energy like a phone that doesn’t stop vibrating. A beam of blue light hit Billy straight on, and he soon went from 6 feet, to 6 inches. Screams of terror burst out, and everyone was running in

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a frenzy. That’s when I saw Carl and Jimmy, Billy’s groomsmen, of course. The two who had always shoved me in the locker. I was going to get them, too. Then, I heard a familiar voice call out to me. “Brandon, listen to me. You’re not this monster. You’re the sweet kid who made me feel welcome in Science Club. Please don’t do this,” begged Charlotte. “You made your choice. Now it’s time to make my choice,” I responded. I shot Carl and Jimmy with the shrink ray, and soon, they met the same fate as Billy. I snatched the 3 basketball bullies up and left the bride at the altar. I no longer felt weak and vulnerable. I now felt strong and powerful. I had switched roles, and now, I was in the driver’s seat. I took the 3 boys to where it all started, the high school science lab. I put them in separate glass containers. The frightened looks on their tiny faces gave me a thrill. “How the tables have turned. Now you’re the ones who are trapped. HAHAHAHAHA!!!” I snickered. “Please! Don’t do this. I know we were mean, and I’m sorry. We were kids. Please don’t do this,” the three boys begged. The sound of fear empowered me. No one could stop me now. With Carl and Jimmy, I threw them in a glass of water they couldn’t get out of. “I could squash you like a bug. You’d go squish squash splat, just like that. What’s to make me not do that? No. You’re all going to feel the pain I felt. Next is you Billy,” I assured him. “You took the one and only thing that made me happy in my life.” I conjured up a device that would send 100 volts up Billy’s back. I took Billy out of

his container and strapped him down. With each shock, his screams of pain fired me up. I was Goliath over these tiny Davids, and the power of Zeus was firmly in my command. 10 minutes later, the door swung wide open. It was Charlotte coming in to punch me and take back her husband. In rage, we traded swings until I had her pinned against the table with her arms melded into the desk. The touch of her skin felt as gentle as pure mountain snow and as clear as the snowflakes it came from. “Do it. I didn’t take you for a murderer, but if you’re going to start it, might as well finish the job. Come on, what are you waiting for? Do it!” she screamed. As I looked deep down, staring into her eyes, I saw the life we could’ve had together full of happiness. Ten years of my life waiting for this moment. “You’re so beautiful,” I said. “Never in a million years will I be with you!” she assured me. Hope that things could change crossed my mind, but in the end, anger and resentment won. “If I’m not going to be happy, no one will,” I raged. Snap! Crack! Thump! Her fragile and motionless body fell in the same spot we had met. Next, it was Billy. Barely alive from the volts of energy coursing through him, I grabbed him Natalie Warrington and crushed him. The blood and guts squirmed out of him as I threw him on Charlotte. “It was your own faults,” I said to the dead corpses. I grabbed a shovel and buried the two outside the high school science lab. They were in each other’s arms like how it was meant to be.

29


Mahealani Firestine 30


Swinging for the Fences

by Jaimelee Felipe

Tugged to watch baseball games, Dragged to batting cages to practice, Taught relentlessly to swing,

He forces me to join, “No!” I stubbornly yell, and this banter goes on until my 14th year.

Sitting in the stands, On the cold hard bleachers, With his voice filling my ears, Embarrassing me,

Deep down I loved the sport, But the patience it took Was excruciating,

Hungry for a snack, Munching on peanuts and sunflower seeds, The nuttiness fills my mouth,

Dad wanted the best for me, He let me off his tight leash, And let me run free, He finally accepted my decision, And now I swing for different fences, “And that’s the ball game.”

My father drinking his Monster drink, Drip drops fall to his lap, As sweat runs down my face,

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Running Rapid on the Streets of Akihabara by Jaimelee Felipe Off the bus. Ahh, almost trip. So many people here. Oh, so Asian. Ehh, Destynee. Come over here. I want to go to this place and this place. Where are we? I want ramen. I’m hungry. We’re in Akihabara! Omg. Anime Central. I love Dragon ball. We need to go to those kind machines. Oh, this store. Hurry up. Ice cream. I want Strawberry, no, maybe green tea. Nah both! Oh, where’s my money? Always losing it. Hurry up Jaime, get it out, you don’t want them to wait. Ahh. Finally, where is it, where is it? Here you go. Thank you. Mmmmmm. Soooooo good. How’s yours? Yeah. It’s so good. Now let’s go find some anime stuff. So many people around, hurry up. I need to get my One Piece and Kirby. Oh, a store, let’s go in there. Ohhh. Nice. Video games!!!! I like play. Do

you want anything from here? No? Okay. Well let me browse. Hmm. Ohhh. Well I have loads of money my dad gave me, so gotta spend ‘em! I’ll just grab this and this and this, just because I can. Okay. Wow, this guy is taking forever. Dude, just tell me the total already, and let me give you the money. Why are you taking forever to get it wrapped?! Idc just give it to me. Finally! Arigatou gozaimasu! Let’s go. We only have 30 minutes to run around and find a nekko cafe and then board the bus again. Where am I going? I’m lost. Thank God I have Destynee here to guide me around. Wow, this corner is kinda creepy. There’s these weird people. Is this the place? Where are we? Oh no. It’s closed!!!! I wanted to go in. Shucks.

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33

Malie NahoĘťolewa


Too Tired to Care

by Jaimelee Felipe

It was the weekend, another lazy day to do nothing and sleep in. I lay under the bed covers, plopped myself sluggishly bent over on the bed, and groaned as I peeked at messages. It all started with a blare of noise shooting out as loud as fireworks. Peeking under the covers, I saw the morning light shining as bright as a light bulb and ignored the noise like I ignore my alarm every morning, then went back to sleep. I could feel the silky soft sheets as I lay on a cloud with a fleece sweater hugging me. There was a flowery scent of my perfume in the air, and I felt blissful in my sweatpants as light as cotton floating in the air. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my stuffed penguin as blue as a sapphire and bed sheets as colorful as a garden. Momentarily, I was consumed with the taste of fresh flowers, but then, back to that nasty taste I get when I wake up in the morning. I wondered, why would anyone set their alarm this early!? It’s 8:00AM on a Saturday and I need sleep. As I closed my eyes to go back to my dream-like state, I could smell the familiar scent of my mother’s honey-scented hair and the boom of my mom shoving the door as she frantically shouted, “Oh my gosh! There’s a missile alert attack, from North Korea!” I looked at her for a second and decided to close my eyes once more as I yawned. In frustration, she gasps and says, “This was just like the time there was an earthquake.” Deciding to stop annoying her, I started rolling and moaning as I plopped myself up into a sitting position. There was the thump of my body collapsing on my bed. My eyes were as heavy as bowling balls, as gravity seemed stronger that day. I sat staring into the distance towards my closet. I could feel the hard and cold tiles in the grooves of my bedroom floor telling me not to get up. The smell of the humid air with a whole lot of nothing started to make me feel woozy as my vision became hazy. The tweet of birds outside made the day seem like a normal weekend morning as I looked towards my window shades with the morning light peering in, shining as bright as a light bulb. I tasted bitter coffee and felt as gruesome as Grendel, reminding me I needed to brush my teeth. I grasped the smooth surface of the wooden table in front of me and pushed myself upwards in a slovenly way while my parents were running around the house like chickens without their heads. I decided I should see what all the fuss was about. With eyes half open, I directed my attention towards my phone. A flash of lights came from my phone, like the police looking for a runaway convict. The dings of alerts came every second, one after another, and were as loud as church bells. I sashayed towards my phone at the speed of a snail to see what all the chatter was about. As I took a hold of my phone, it felt as heavy as bricks. Struggling to grasp it, I proceeded back to my bed so gravity couldn’t be a burden anymore. I fell into a cloud, while a bomb of messages flooded my screen and turned the annoying ringing noise off. I saw the words “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT...THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Then I saw the many text messages from my basketball team flooding in as fast as The Flash. Questions of if it was real or not echoed through the group while I waited for an announcement from the news. My mouth was as dry as split ends on a hot summer day with an acidic taste of oranges. The smell of the morning air and garden outside my bedroom were present. I leaned back lazily against the prickly wall pressing against my head while feeling the rough creases of my phone case and smooth surface of the screen. Waiting for a hit, I decided I would pass away in a peaceful state. I lay back down under the covers while another alert came, shamefully saying, “False Alarm.” It was once again safe, and there was no ear-splitting noise, only the chirping of the birds, the peace, and the calm restored. I placed my phone down, turned off the noise, and regressed back to my weekend slumber.

34


Waipahe Akoi 35


No Take Backs

36


37


Over the bump Our car rocked

PAK! A slap came My head snapped back

Spit was flying Back and forth

Black Was all I could see

It was building up inside me, Waiting to be released. I was like a volcano, ready-to-explode magma.

Copper, Was all I could taste

I fisted my hands Even tighter Knuckles digging into the seat

Bumps Were all I could feel It was silent Yet the sound, deafening,

Without a single thought, about the consequences, It flowed out of me.

I could smell nothing

I HATE YOU!

In a matter of seconds One thing was different And nothing was the same

The words, my throat, Scorched.

Days passed, Yet, no words were spoken

The words reverberated Over and over again Bouncing off the walls Inside my head

The only way to fix this was by changing one word, But, I was too stubborn.

I couldn’t take them back

Mother came to me She initiated it Those three words: I Love You.

I blinked once Hurt flashed I blinked again

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Accomplished with a joyful return right before dusk. Experienced eyes look into mine. Icy winter on a cold countryside. Freezing arctic blizzard with snow shooting bullets in my face.

Comeback

Whoosh! Hard air blasting the ears, bleeding with nothing but silence.

The dog is covered with harsh snow melting like a water blanket. Scared and scratchy eyes making someone wonder. 39

by Jaimelee Felipe


40


I Sea You

by Kailani Kealoha

Water laps at my feet As I hold the seashell by my ear Whistling sounds go in one, out the other With the whooshing of the wind My hair bounces and jostles Yet, it dies down Too quick, I mumble to myself A summer breeze caresses my cheek As if it is answering back It fades away All that remains is the shell How far did it travel? How did it get here? How did it choose me? I dive in Head first, feet last Water encompasses me Serenity overtakes me I drift with the current I open my eyes This is home.

41


Looking Closer

by Kailani Kealoha

Off the frozen water He is there The sun reflects Mid noon Laughter floats all around As the puck glides, Greetings and conversations Recognition and familiarity are in the air. Happy ignorance blankets everyone The sun is setting Casting long shadows all about The darkness hides his one true face Unknowing, people greet him with smiles He welcomes them with loving arms The sun is as deceptive as he As he comes Off the frigid ice and the sun sets.

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43

Madison Dutro


Hoala Alapai O, soft blankie, How you were there since birth, Seen me at my best, And also at my worst, O how you keep me, Tangled in your sweet embrace, I snuggle deeper, Deeper and deeper I fall, O, soft blankie, I have to leave, Separate myself from you, Your warm embrace, It soothes me, But I always know, That you’re waiting , Every evening, Opening arms that welcome me, Comforting and soothing, no matter my plight.

Ode to my Blanket by Kailani Kealoha

44


Another Chance

by Kailani Kealoha

“Ms. Priscilla, do you want to go back to your room?” I ask with a warm smile. “Are you a new worker? Where is Karen? Do you not know how this works? When I ASK to go back to my room is when I WANT to go back to my room.” “Oh, sorry, I didn’t me-” “You already ruined my peace, just roll me back to my room already.” My smile drops a bit, and suddenly the day does not seem as optimistic as it once was. I really really REALLy need this new job, and I thought that I could deal with a simple 79-year-old woman, but now, I am not so sure. Maybe I should have listened to the front desk and left when I had the chance. Too late. I start to lean forward and put my hands toward the handlebars when Ms. Priscilla starts to explode like a volcano. Her face is red, and as she yells, spit flies all over the place, making it hard to understand what she is saying. “YOU CAN’T WHEEL ME! YOU DISTURBED THE PEACE, YOU ARE GOING TO CRASH ME BECAUSE YOU BOTHERED ME! JUST LIKE HOW YOU INTERRUPTED MY PEACE, YOU ARE GOING TO INTERRUPT MY LIFE, AND I JUST WON’T HAVE IT!” Seemed a bit far-fetched, but I was not about to tell her that and have my job taken on the first day. “Okay, how about I go and get someone else to roll you to your room? Does that sound all right?” “I’m partially blind, honey; I’m not dumb, so do NOT speak to me in that condescending tone.” I blink three times in disbelief and I take a small step back. WOW, sis really needs to take a chill pill. No wonder Karen left and took vacation. I quickly turn around and start

walking towards the front desk. I look over my shoulder and see Ms. Priscilla turned back around to face the window and look out once more. She looks like any old grandma that would bake and cook endlessly for all, but then again, looks can be deceiving. I turn back around and chuckle to myself, if the day ever comes where I can say that I understand where Ms. Priscilla comes from, I am going to cut ten inches off my hair and wear red lipstick just like her; that means a smudge of it on my teeth, too. A couple of weeks passed, and I finally got the hang of things. I truly felt like Karen now because I not only understood what Ms. Priscilla’a routine was and how to “properly” fold her sheets into a right triangle, but also because Ms. Priscilla would only call me Karen because that was, and I quote, “the only nurse who truly understood that silence is a woman’s best friend.” Whatever happened to diamonds? Something real bad must have happened to her in order for her to not like diamonds, I mean, come on, what girl doesn’t like diamonds? Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and one whole year of nonstop complaining went by until I exploded like a volcano, much like Ms. Priscilla on the first day! “What is your problem? Why must you push everyone away? All I am simply trying to do is care for you, but you make it quite hard with that pessimistic and demanding attitude of yours. Please try to help me understand why you do this to every worker.” My chest heaves up and down with my hands in fists on my hips. Five seconds pass as my eyes widen, and my hand goes to cover my mouth.

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Madison Dutro I can’t believe I just said that, I am TOTALLY going to lose my job now. I mean, I know they do not pay the best, but right now, this job is paying all the bills, and that’s all that is needed, so, if I need to get on my knees and beg to keep this job, then so be it. A whole minute of Ms. Priscilla and I just looking at one another passes until the silence is finally broken by a sigh. Ms. Priscilla sighs, and that speaks volumes. She simply just turns around and slowly wheels out of her room to go to the foyer and look out the window. That is when it hit me: maybe I don’t know Ms. Priscilla and her life story. My mama always told me not to judge a book by its cover, and that’s what I am trying to teach my daughter, yet here I go being a hypocrite and judging Ms. Priscilla for what is only on the surface. Ever since that one day, layers of hard molten rock seem to fill the air. There are

no more complaints or demands, just simple “yes,” “no,” and an occasional, “Help me to the restroom” is all that is said. I am unsure if I like this newfound silence because after spending a year with someone and complaining about her “issues,” once it gone, it’s different. I shake my head to get that kind of thinking out of my head because I am the one who asked for this silence, and I can’t complain about it either. A couple of days later, the attending asks me to help Ms. Priscilla move to a new room. I help to pack boxes of clothes and whatever valuables Ms. Priscilla has in order to efficiently move all her stuff one floor up. David comes to wheel Ms. Priscilla up because, “You too skinny! Your arms can’t push me up, and I do not want to get hurt because you weren’t strong enough. Just pack whatever is in that last drawer and bring that small box up to my room.”

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I smile because, yet again, life is made a bit simpler. Solitude for the next wo minutes, something that is priceless. I open the top drawer and start to pull out socks and undergarments when suddenly there is a book. It is leather bound, and the pages look weathered and old. I quickly stuff everything into the box, open the book and start to read. As my eyes skim over the pages, I realize, this is Ms. Priscilla’s diary. I know I am not supposed to snoop, but I do so anyway. I turn to a page where a title reads:

don’t you tell anyone any of this?” “I am old and tired. I am near death. Why get pity when I can just have silence?” “Because with pity come those who truly understand you. You probably do not know this, but, I have a daughter named Penelope, who is just starting out preschool. She is such a shy girl, and she has it rough. We are constantly moving because I always need a new job. This is the first time that she has stayed in one place for longer than six months, yet I do not want her to get too attached because what if I need to leave soon? After reading your journal, I am skeptical about moving and digging up her roots because I do not want my daughter to despise her mom for moving her away from her friends, and I ESPECIALLY do not want my daughter to get bullied by ribbon-pigtailed, spoiled brats.” “Matilda, I think you have taken things way out of proportion. Mama bears are always the ones to come out on top, but sometimes you have to let your kids take their own path, you cannot fight every battle for them.” “You know my name? And since when did you become all insightful and deep?” “Matilda, I have always known your name, but you are really the one who has stayed the longest and fought this hard to get to know me. This is the real me, and I feel as if I can finally rest.” I quickly stand up from my seated position and grab her wrist for a pulse. “Oh, not like that. I meant I can finally get my socks, go back to my new room, and take a nap!” After opening up to me, Ms. Priscilla slowly started to open up to those around the home. She was kinder to the workers and other residents, but she was stern enough to keep the respect that she got. After a couple of months, she got to meet Penelope, and they both hit it off. Ms. Priscilla’s personality changed when she was around Penelope. Penelope was the grandchild that she never had, so, when she passed, it was no shock that it hit Penelope the hardest. After only a couple of years of knowing her, I was there when Ms. Priscilla passed away in her sleep with a scowl on her face. In her will, she had left Penelope everything she had, which is all in a savings account that will be Penelope’s college fund. I continued to work there for another year, but it was just not the same without Ms. Priscilla.

Priscilla and the Wolves in Pigs’ Clothing Sounds interesting enough, so I read on. “ʻPriscilla the prissy, why you so icky?ʻ chorus the piggies. ʻThe piggies,ʻ that’s what I call the toohappy-go-lucky girls Britney, Whitney, and Callie that are nonstop teasing me. You would think that after ten years, they would come up with a line that is better than that. I remember the first time they said that. We were all seven years old and I had just moved. I walked up to them and asked if I could join their braiding train, and they told me yes! I was so excited because this would be the first time that I made friends on the first try. I was in the front of the train while they were behind me. Callie was braiding my hair, Whitney was braiding hers, and Britney was braiding Whitney’s, or so I thought. Unbeknownst to me, Whitney and Britney stopped braiding to get a bucket of sand from the sand pit while Callie continued to braid my hair. They came back and poured sand all over my head and turned to high five one another. Everyone on the playground stopped to stare and either laugh at me or look at me with pity. I did not cry, I did the one thing my brothers had taught me to do: be violent. So, I punched Britney in the face and then got called to the principal’s office. Of course, Britney did not get punished, only me, Priscilla.” “What are you doing? What is taking you so long? My feet are getting cold, and I wanted socks so I came back do-” Ms. Priscilla suddenly stops when she sees what is in my hands. Instead of having another eruption, Ms. Priscilla does the unexpected and simply rolls in and says, “So now you know.” Tears come to the corners of my eyes as I realize that Ms. Priscilla was bullied all throughout her childhood and that is what forced her to have a tough and icy exterior. “Ms. Priscilla, I want to apologize for your childhood and your rough upbringing, but why

47


Switcheroo

by Kailani Kealoha

“Okay bring it in girls. I know we’re down, but we’re still in this game! We are doing much more better compared to last season playing against them. So let’s just go back out there and do our best!” screams Coach Elias. The team circle disperses with two claps and a cheer. The starters run onto the field as the bench goes back to sit down. As I run back onto the pitch, the grass crunches beneath my feet and my cleats dig into the earth. I am leaving my own trail because there in the earth are the holes from my cleats. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and look across the field. Those snobby good-for-nothing red fire trucks can go back downtown because this is Manuia’s, OUR turf, and us upcountry folk, we do not give up without a fight. Maui United Soccer Club, our rivals, were winning 1-0, and it was getting on everyone’s nerves. People in the stands couldn’t tell if we were playing soccer or American football. As the game changed from minute to minute, the physicality level rose even higher, and it was a huge factor. In the end, Maui United was victorious, but it cost them a couple of bruises. Coach Elias walks over to me, and instead of saying “good work,” my mom’s voice comes out of his mouth and says, “You are moving clubs to Maui United Soccer Club.” I am shaken out of my flashback when I realize that my mom is actually talking and that I didn’t just imagine her saying that. I am rendered speechless, out of all the clubs, she would pick the very one that I grew up hating. I was moving behind the enemy line, switching teams. What is my best friend gonna say when I tell her? What are all my teammates going to think of me when I leave? Will I still be close with all of them? The car clock shows 4:00 p.m. Practice goes by way too quickly and I’m still not prepared for what to say and how to say it. I take a deep breath, open the car door, and for an hour and a half, I forget all my troubles. The only focus is on getting the ball into the back of the net. The whistle finally blows signaling the end of practice. It is time to say it. I pull my best friend

aside and tell her, and I will never forget the look she gave me. Tomorrow would be my last practice with them. It would have been less painful if I had cleated her in the stomach or pushed her to the ground. The look in her eyes show how deeply I hurt her because, although she tried to brush it off as nothing, the eyes are the windows to her true feelings. The following week I start practice with Maui United, for the first time ever. I am still in disbelief when I get there. It is just a totally different soccer environment. All the players are in white shirts, red shorts, and white socks. The coaches all wear similar clothing, and there is not much laughter in the air, only the whooshes of the ball and barking from the players making demands on each other. It is all so intimidating and overwhelming, so much so that my mom has to walk me down the hill and onto the field. Mind you, I am thirteen years old. It is a different side of me that comes out. Instead of being outgoing and loud, I am quiet and observant. I am the last to be picked on each team, last to be picked for partners, and last in my skills. The first practice is a struggle to get through. The players are just as I thought them to be, with their snobby and non-inclusive attitudes. Soon, one practice turns into five, and before I know it, months passed, but so much changes in those months. The first couple of weeks of practice are a hard adjustment because the technical drills that they do are foreign to me. They talk about foreign professionals that I have never even heard of, do drills that are technical, and they all have a work ethic that just proves that they want to win. In those months, I learn that I was wrong. These girls are not snotty or mean; they are hard-working girls who know what they want and do whatever they can in order to achieve it. These girls are the ones who were there with me the first time I ever played an off-island tournament; these are the girls that I won a state championship with; these are the girls I traveled with to the mainland for the first time; these are the girls I misjudged and now, with whom I am best friends.

48


Natalie Warrington 49


Simple Acceptance

by Kailani Kealoha

BEEP BEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP! An alarm that could be heard from miles away is what wakes Kailani from her slumber. It is a sound that she has never heard coming from her phone; certainly not an alarm that she set. Her eyes are laden with makapiapia that make opening them harder than usual. She reaches for her phone and feels little poky sensations from the cracked screen. As she turns on her phone, she sees a blinding light and a message that reads: “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Maybe it is from just waking up, or maybe because her mind is still groggy, and she did not interpret what she just read, but Kailani calmly gets up and heads into the shower. She showers as if there is all the time in the world. With the water cascading down her body as slowly as someone walking up a mountain after hiking for twenty minutes. Simply taking her time, she continues with her shower ritual. She first dampens her hair, puts in the soap, and washes it all off with the water. While the water is running down to the drain, it seems she is swallowing bitterness, not only from the soap, but from the lack of the life she is going to live. Soon, a black outline appears outside the shower curtain, and it says, “Kailani, you have five minutes to get out of the shower and into the living room with everyone else.” While the water is running down her face, she begins to have those shower thoughts. Why

rush? There is not much to do other than pray that it is all a big misunderstanding or that the military will make the threat go away. She puts one leg out of the shower and then turns around to grab her towel to dry herself off. She leisurely puts on her clothes and proceeds to walk out into the living room to see if there is an update. When she takes a seat on the couch, she feels the tension and question in the air: what is going to happen? Her mom is frantically flipping through the channels while Kailani just watches. Then, Kailani turns her head to her right because she hears panic in her sister when she voices the dreaded question they have all been wondering: “What is going to happen?” All that is seen are silent tears running down the face of her sister with an occasional hiccup. Kailani is on autopilot the whole time. After thirty minutes of sitting in the living room together, the news finally comes. “False alarm” is blasted all over social media and the news. A weight was lifted off her chest. Maybe it is because her sister has lifted her head from her chest, or maybe it is relief that finally comes to her.

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51


Splats of Red

by Kailani Kealoha

“Ya can go to the café righ dere across da street to wait. But if I were you, I wouldn’ eat da food dere, ner let anyone know yer a newbie. Try ’n fit in, an’ go roll in the dirt” says Bobby with a toothless grin and a shake of his hat. I try to ask him another question but he already has his ear plugs in and gets right to work. Hmm, I wonder why I have to look like a local and why I can’t eat Moe’s food. Maybe it’s better if I just ignore Bobby. What does he know? He can’t even speak proper English; he is probably just good at fixing cars. What do I care? As long as I am far away from, HIM. The smell of Aunty-Leanne’s-Apple-Pie hits my nostrils as I open the door to Moe’s Café. I hold the door open as a couple is giggling in a booth near the back. Tears threaten to fall from my eyes as a flashback starts to hit, but I will both the flashback and the tears away. I am not going to break down in here, I am not going to break down in here I repeat over and over in my head. My own personal mantra is interrupted when a too-happy-go-lucky gal walks up to my booth and practically yells, “Sis! You look TERRIBLE! How ‘bout we get something in ya’ belly. Ma always said, ‘The way to a full heart is a happy stomach.’ So, what can I get ya’?” My eyes skim over the menu as I look for something I recognize. No, not that, DEFINITELY NOT that, what even is that goes through my mind as I finally see something I recognize. “I’ll take a cheese omelet, please, with a side of rice,” I say as she takes away the menu. “Sua thing, Suga! Would you like any

meat with that? We have bacon strips here that are jus’ to dieee foa!” says Sugar. Ironically, she calls me “Suga”, when, in fact, her name is Sugar. “My name is not ‘Suga’, it’s Elizabeth, but thanks,” I say. Whatever, I just want to eat my omelet in peace, get my car, and get the heck out of Oz. As Sugar walks towards the back, I see her point in my direction to the cook. My eyes squint as I try to read her lips. I get bits and pieces of it but none of it makes sense: “dead meat?” “tourist?” I can’t handle any more stress, literally, because my bladder is about to explode. I try not to think of running water as I dash to the ladies room. Just as I am about to open the door I hear screaming to my left. I slowly turn around and see a door labeled “employees only.” As I open the door and stick my head in, I am confronted with a shocking sight. All over the ground are splats of red. It looks like paint, yet I know it is not because the source of it is coming from a lifeless body next to a meat grinder. Just as I am about to scream, someone covers my mouth and whispers “You’re next, Suga.” I try to scream, which just sounds like a muffled nothing. I bite on Sugar’s fingers and step on her toes. This is like déjà vu, me fighting to stay alive and trying my hardest to get away from him. I can’t believe I am thinking of him while my life is possibly over. I finally seem to get away from Sugar and run to the other side of the room. The only way out is the way I came in, which is the door right behind Sugar. Just as I am about to make a run for it, the cook comes in with another person, which proves to be a

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Chenoa Aina & Brianne Reformina good distraction as I make a run for it out into the hallway, straight out the door, all the way across the street and back to Joe’s. “I was jus’ ‘bout to get ya’. Yer car’s all fixed, didya’ have any trouble?” says Joe. “Ijustwanttogetthehelloutofthisdinghole,” I say as water drips into my eyes and makes it hard to see. “Whoa there, girlie, ya’ sure ya’ can drive in this condition?” “Yes! Gosh darn it! Just tell me how much I owe you, give me my keys, and let me get the heck out of here!!” Joe steps back, and fear is written all over his face. I take a deep calm breath and think of the smell of lavender, just like my therapist told me to. “Joe, here is $1,000. I hope that covers everything. Just keep the extra cash. Now, may I please have my keys?” Joe says nothing as he scurries back to his office and grabs my keys. He doesn’t get close to me when he hands them to me, and I wince. Another person hates you, Kate. It’s just like you to push away everyone. I shake my head to clear away the clouds, snatch the keys and head to my car.

Only when I am miles away do I realize that I left. I left an ignorant couple with a bunch of cannibals. I left them, just like he left me. I am just like him! I pull my steering wheel into a 90-degree right and almost crash straight into a cactus. I put my car into reverse, get back on the street and head straight into the very direction I was trying to run from. I race back inside Moe’s Café and see that the couple is in the same place that I left them. I march straight up to them, get into their faces and say, “Get the hell outta here right now. I know you don’t know me, but what I’m trying to do right now is to save your lives. Get out of here, and do not turn back.” “Hey, now, you can’t speak to me an-” I reach for the girl, grab her and drag her out of the café with the boyfriend right behind us. “What the hell are you doing? Let her go! I know I am not supposed to hit women, but if you so much as-” “Like I said before, get out of here right now!” as I throw her on the ground. The guy quickly picks up his girlfriend, calls me a freak and then proceeds to speed out of his stall. I walk back inside, lock the door, close

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all the shades, and walk to the kitchen. I grab a butcher knife and creep toward the meat grinder. My hands shake, and my teeth chatter as I try to take deep, calm breaths. I clench my jaw in hopes that I can stop making noise, so I won’t alert them that I am here. I slowly creep towards the door and put my ear against it. As far as I can hear, there is no one in there. Maybe I can quickly get in there, take pictures of the evidence and call the police. I slowly turn the metallic knob, which is as cold and lifeless as this diner, and crack open the door. I open the door more fully and step inside, that is my mistake. The door slams as I turn around, and lo and behold, there is Sugar. “Back so soon? Are ya hungry? Cuz, me an Moe hea was jus’ ‘bout finishin’ makin’ a fresh batch of meat,” she says with a drawl. I was hoping that I came in time to save someone else from becoming Moe and Sugar’s next victim, but I am too late. I see a dismembered arm and leg and fresh meat on the other side of the machine. I spring into action with new resolve for the person who never got to live out her life. Maybe because I did not want to run anymore, or maybe I was suicidal, I have no idea what, but the next thing I know, I close my eyes and blindly just swing, my second biggest mistake. Moe comes from behind me and encircles me with his arms. My eyes flash open, and I am taken back to when I was seventeen years old. “Stop being such a naughty girl. I know you want me back. Let’s go back to my room and figure this all out,” I follow him back into the room. I shake my head because it is too hard for me to remember. I start bucking hard as I realize this is the same situation I was in when I was seventeen! I start to fight tooth and nail, and I get out of Moe’s arms. Before I can run out, Sugar knocks me to the ground, and everything goes black. BEEP BEEP! I wake up to the smell of a hospital. Everything is way too bright, and I squint as my eyes slowly adjust. What happened? I start to sit up, and before I can lift myself out of my bed, a nurse comes running in and says “Ma’am, ma’am, I need you to calm down. Are you all right? Do you need anything?” I simply

ask for a cup of water and an explanation of where I am and why I’m here. The nurse brings in a cup of water and explains to me what had happened. Turns out, being violent is actually an answer. When I threw down the girl, the boyfriend had called the police, who showed up to the scene and caught Moe and Sugar just before they put me into the grinder. The reason I didn’t hear the sirens was because the room was soundproof, which also explains why I didn’t hear anyone in the room when I went to take pictures for evidence. The police come in and try to take my statement, but I won’t let them. I will not be found by George. I cannot go through that whole process again! Instead, I call my attorney, and she quickly comes down to the hospital. Thankfully, she handles the matter, and I can relax. That only lasts a few hours as another group comes in, but this time it’s a group of people I recognize. Before they can say anything, I blurt out. “Phillip, it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t just let them keep doing that.” “Janice, we don’t blame you. In fact, it’s good to see that you are finally feeling again. Unfortunately, there’s now going to be a lot of media, so we are going to need you to move again and switch identities. I know this is hard for you, bu-“ I lift my hand up and stop him. “I saw body parts lying on the ground. It’s something that you definitely do NOT see every day, but it also woke me up. Seeing that arm made me realize that that easily could have been me. I am tired of always playing the victim because in reality, I am alive and kicking. No more negative thoughts. Thank you, Phillip, for all that you have done.” A genuine smile spreads across Phillip’s face. He talks to my attorney and straightens everything out. I put my head back on the pillow, and for the first time in a long time, I do not feel like running. As I am being discharged I smile to myself and a single thought comes to mind. I can be whoever I want to be. Thank you, George, for hurting me and putting me in the Witness Protection Program, I would not be who I am without you. I take a deep breath and have a new pep in my step. No longer am I grouchy Janice; I am Elizabeth James.

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