In conversation with .. ! Part 5

In conversation with Pabllo Vittar, Adrien Weiss, Ella Boucht, Davi, Phoebe Bridgers and many more ...

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Pride. Pride. Pride.

I want to be proud. I want to be visible because visibility is not necessary - it’s vital.

I want to be visible to help at least one person to feel less alone, less misunderstood.

I want to be as bold as people expect me to be.

I want to be the fierce brown transgender woman I know I can be.

I want to be fearless.

I want to go outside without asking myself what people think of me.

I want to embrace myself. I want to love myself. Just want to be fully me.

But, I am afraid. Afraid of my transition, because even though I’m still at the beginning of this process, I don’t know how it will go.

I am afraid to look like “A man in a dress” because for a cis woman, not to look like a stereotype of femininity is okay. But for a transgender woman, not to look like a stereotype of femininity means that you could die.

I am afraid not to “pass” and to have to always look behind my back in order to be safe.

I am tired. Tired of feeling unwell every time I have to go to the bathroom ‘cause there are no gender-free bathrooms.

I am tired of questions that shouldn’t be asked from friends and strangers when I talk about my transition.

I am tired of hearing that I am not really trans* because my story is not the same as other trans* people.

I am tired of being unable to find clothes that fit my body dysmorphia.

I am tired of having to explain that yes I am also a victim of acts of racism, almost on a daily basis.

I am not here to educate anyone.

I am afraid that my mum will read this piece.

I am afraid to be visible.

I don’t have a choice, really. There is no way back in depression, only the possibility of going forward.

I wish “our community” was more thoughtful and aware than it pretends to be.

I wish we were not celebrating femme boys, trans* and all womxn only during Pride Month.

Breathe. Baby steps, one day at a time - that’s how I live right now.

I want to make a promise. I want to try to celebrate myself every fucking day. That is what we should all do. It’s time to come together and support ourselves every single day. Clearly, this is a lot of work. So let’s get to it.

My name is Naikee and my pronouns are She/Her. Happy Pride y’all.

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Photography by AndrĂŠs Agudelo Ganem @gravistoto

Meet The Team @marcel_schlutt

@naikee_simoneau

@nicphilf

Editor-in-Chief Fashion Editor

Marcel Schlutt

Art Director Art Editor

Naikee Simoneau

Music Editor

Nicola Phillips

Fashion Editors

Nico Sutor

@nicosutorfashion

@slaterkarl

mschlutt@kaltblut-magazine.com

nsimoneau@kaltblut-magazine.com

nphillips@kaltblut-magazine.com

nsutor@kaltblut-magazine.com

Karl Slater

kslater@kaltblut-magazine.com

Contributors

Mike Nasa, Lewis Robert Cameron, Anna Barr, Amanda M. Jansson, Yessica Klein Proofreading by Amy Phillips and Nicola Phillips

On The Cover Chris Flora photographed by Alberto Lanz

See the full editorial > p.74

All Copyright at KALTBLUT

www.kaltblut-magazine.com

@kaltblut_magazine

KALTBLUT MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED BY MARCEL SCHLUTT AND NICOLAS SIMONEAU All of KALTBLUT´s contributors are responsible and retain the reproduction rights of their own words and images.

Reproductions of any kind are prohibited without the permission of the magazine, editor and each contributor.

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Ella Boucht > p.8

Mateo Velasquez > p.60

Adrian Weiss > p.86

Pabllo Vittar > p.42

Phoebe Bridgers > p.68

Davi> p.96 7

Ella Boucht is Changing at Queer Women in the

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How Fashion Looks Post-Truth Era Butch is beautiful. It’s diverse and sexy in a way that is often overlooked because it’s almost too authentic, especially in an industry like fashion where fantasy sells. Think of your female queer friends in the industry and its possibly more than ten fingers, think of them as designers and you are only left with one hand, then think of them with their own label. Any fingers up? Now think of queer men in fashion.

We can’t deny that gay men have been designing binary clothing for women for decades while the underrepresentation of queer women in fashion still exists and is even questioned in conversations on style. I would even say that fashion is finally having an identity crisis come to terms with the fact that queer women love fashion too!

27-year-old London based, Finnish designer Ella Boucht recently graduated from the prestigious Central Saint Martins fashion department with her Masters, but her name and pieces have been growing momentum ever since Rhianna was photographed in her baby pink oversized puffer coat that quickly became a meme, while still a student at Swedish School of Textiles back in 2016. With deconstructed suits and play on shapes creating gender fluidity among structured cuts and tailoring, her unapologetic evolution from bold sportswear to designer for “butches, dykes, female masculine and nonbinary people” saw her on Dazed100 earlier this year with her intent on bringing lesbian representation to the runway and beyond.

Interview by Anna Barr @.annoula_b Polaroids by Ella Boucht @ellaboucht Portaits by Anya Gorkova @anyagorkova

Speaking from her new studio space in London, Ella is young, smart, sweet and ready to inspire us to own our own bodies while her collections in many ways will stand as a document for future generations, she’s quietly louder than she might think and ready to riot even if she sets her own tempo.

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“Queer women in history haven’t properly been acknowledged or represented.”

Did you always want to work in fashion?

I wouldn’t necessarily say fashion, but definitely the craft behind it. I’ve always been drawing, doing illustrations, working with my hands since I was a kid. I went to a theatre school when I was younger for several years and there was one play where we had a seamstress who made our costumes and we could go into this huge wardrobe to find stuff to develop our own character. That’s when it all started. I understood that I wanted to be more behind the scenes.

Growing up, did you see yourself in fashion, especially when flipping through magazines?

No, I would say that I didn’t really care for fashion magazines, but I remember the start of bloggers, how people were posting their styles. There was this site called Hel-Looks from Helsinki all about the styles from the streets of Helsinki, it was more interesting for me to see how people were putting together their own looks than the perfect world created in the magazines. I used to also look at a book by Pierre et Gilles, it was an amazing world to see! Full of colours, queer personalities and fashion. It’s an art world on its own.

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Queer women love fashion, but in many ways, they are invisible in the industry. Do you feel there is a lack of representation and what that stems from?

There’s definitely a lack in fashion, but also overall from series to films in what the rest of society learns what queer and butch women look like. People have developed a very stereotypical image. Queer women in history haven’t properly been acknowledged or represented. There aren’t many books, especially photography books from that time. It also comes from the era of cross-dressing, trying to look for the opposites of gender which made you either femme or butch. Today there is a much broader way to identify. There are still lots of stereotypes in fashion, and unfortunately, it is still very much male-dominated in fashion. There are many gay men in high positions and great designers but I would definitely love to see more women and queer women behind the scenes get more representation of how we look and what we like to wear.

I know lots of women in fashion and queer women, but when it comes to actually holding the title of designer, it is still dwarfed compared to men.

When I was researching female designers through history, most of the women I found identified as straight, especially straight white women.

Obviously, I have queer female friends in fashion but in the lesbian community its not something that many women are interested in because the fashion industry tough. With a lack of representation, it’s quite hard for a queer woman to get up.

Do you feel there is an objectification of lesbianism in fashion?

Definitely, it’s not like for straight people you go and ask them about their sexuality and if it’s correlated into how you dress. When it comes to queer women, it’s like an exotification, that its something interesting and stems from the male gaze rather than the female gaze.

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Even when you talk about the lack of photography when we think of the masculine female, it conjures up imagery by Helmut Newton which again is from the male gaze.

When I was doing my research at the CSM library, there were only four books focused on lesbian women or made by lesbian women. You really have to start digging deeper and go through archives or online because obviously there was a time where it was dangerous to be out in society. A lot of the lesbian context was hidden or got destroyed or letters where they took away the names so you wouldn’t know who it was written from. In some communities, they didn’t even want to be out, like in the documentary Shakedown (by Leilah Weinraub) about this lesbian strip club in America where they talk about not wanting to be in editorials or articles because it’s for them. They don’t care about visibility because they have their visibility with their people on the inside.

There’s a side where our history has been erased and then there is a part wanting to keep it for us.

Gender labels feel like it should be an outdated concept, but at the same time, you just spoke removing names from letters and parts of history, have you yourself been censored?

I’ve been censored when trying to upload, especially imagery of female bodies overall. It went as far as Instagram taking away my whole account and said it was permanently deleted and I wasn’t going to get it back, but after a fight and an article, we managed to get it back. I use Instagram as such a big tool, not just for marketing, but also how I find collaborators and other companies to work with. I could also say that I censor myself in a way, since being a kid, because I haven’t had the courage

or possibility to be out in the way that I wanted to. I was afraid of not being enough and not enough for the queer community. Censorship is everywhere. I feel that the terms should be used in a fluid way, where one can swap around and not be endangered if you want to change from a butch to a femme more or the other way. It should be more accepting to experiment with your identity. It’s a war inside and a learning curve.

Just as women, in the female community, in the past few months with Black Lives Matter, I’ve been thinking about how much black women have been excluded from our female community.

Especially when it comes to white feminism, we have excluded a huge part of our community and the same when it comes to most of the lesbian photography that I found, it’s mostly white. Racism is there as well as it’s been erased from the lesbian history too. One of the things that people don’t know is that a lot has came from the black community as well. Just today I was talking to my friend about the word “dyke”, it’s a word that many of us have been using. It comes from the black community where people have been called the “bulldyke”.

Now a lot of black lesbians are trying to take back their pride as well because we as white people been taken away from where it comes from without having even understood the history of where it stems from. We have to learn, educate ourselves and be more aware.

What is butch for you?

For me, it’s about empowerment, a strong identity where you feel very comfortable in where you are and how you walk through life. You wear with pride. It connects the inside and the outside in a way, body and soul. Butch is so varied and so many beautiful people under the umbrella.

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We talk about diversity, but the industry can be very misogynist, women are usually overly sexualized as the “housewife” or “whore” and definitely as “straight”. I’ve seen huge changes in this past decade, but there is still a misconception that lesbians don’t have style. Breaking those misconceptions, let’s look at the past and talk about some of the influences on your work.

Style-wise I look at non-binary icons like boat racer Joe Carstairs had amazing style, she showed that there were different ways to show female masculinity. Obviously Jack Halberstam’s book Female Masculinity discussing all the different identities was an eye-opener for me. Del LaGrace Volcano’s book on drag and photography overall was an influence, photographing queer female sex scenes and just see what female sex scenes look like in Sex Works. When it came to finding different types of styles (like in fashion), I couldn’t find a lot. It was more that I could find photographers and in their photography find different styles. A lot of what I could find was American based. Besides that, my friends have been a huge influence, the parties I go to in London, going out.

You could say that you design clothes to wear to the club and leaving the club.

What role does club culture play for you in your work?

I would definitely want to see them worn to the club, but I would also say the clothes can be worn in an everyday scenario. The whole collection has an underlain erotic feel to it that draws back to the club scene.

The club scene is definitely a big part of who I am and what my life in London has been like. During the lockdown, I realized how much I missed all these queer spaces.

Going back to the club scene though, I still find a huge lack of lesbian places, events or parties. When I have been to all-female queer nights, its such great energy, so great being with all these people and then you realize that there are lots of us out there but we never meet because we are separated in this huge city. The club is a way of expressing yourself as well, you can put on a character or look that perhaps you aren’t in an everyday scenario. Also, I just love dancing!

Dance-pop duo Nimmo walked your CSM graduate collection, how did that happen?

Some of the people who walked are friends of mine, but for Nimmo, I just contacted them on Instagram. I told them what my collection was about and if they would be 14

on board. They have been the most amazing people to collaborate with, always so energetic, bubbly and happy!

You went viral with RiRi in your oversized coat in striking baby pink while still a student in Helsinki. How do you feel about the colour pink?

Weirdly enough, I don’t have a pink garment in my wardrobe, maybe a pair of underwear. I love pink, I get drawn to pink for some reason, but I would never wear it. For example with that jacket and the pastel pink, I have in my collection now both of them were good mistakes. The Rihanna jacket was supposed to be orange but it came out as pink because the wadding inside of the jacket was neon orange and because of the white fabric on top it became pink after washing.

What steps are you taking now to develop your business and in terms of investors do you feel pressure to change your narrative, is it important for you to have your own brand or would you like to work for someone else?

I’ve moved into my own space now and starting to think about production, but I don’t really have the backup funding. I definitely would like to do my own thing and keep it as something on-going. I feel it is important to show what I actually want to show because I am also a bit scared that if I go into a big company, even though I would feel I have a voice inside there, I would assume it would be more like a design junior, so my voice there wouldn’t be that big. While with my aim of what I want to do, having my own brand will help me put my voice out there, but I would like to influence brands as well.

What’s the best advice that you received regarding the industry?

Probably that your first idea is the best idea.

Finally, what does Pride mean for you and did you do anything special to celebrate this year?

Pride for me is about when I usually go home or to Stockholm and I’m in different Pride situations. Pride is a celebration, a time to meet your friends and be surrounded by all these amazing queer people and Pride is also political.

We are still lacking so behind especially now with a lot of Trans rights being taken away in both the UK, USA, Poland and so on. Especially now with Black Lives Matter and Trans lives, it’s going back to the riots at Stonewall. It’s going back to its original meaning and not about companies using it as marketing tools. For Pride this year I was at a Trans Lives Matter protest in London and it was very beautiful, very powerful being surrounded by everyone. Everyone was dressed in flowers and had flowers with the Pride flags. It was beautiful to see the power of our community showing what we want and pushing for it. Black trans women have always been seen as something less and something erased from history and even within the queer community. Some people don’t know that it is because of Marsha P. Johnson and all of the trans women that started the riots we would not have the same rights and privileges today.

Follow Ella Boucht @ellaboucht

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The garden of Adam & Evan Photography and retouch Marcel Schlutt @marcel_schlutt Models Marco Hunger @nomarcoisnthungry Tim RĂźhl @tiimmiit Make-Up and hair Isabel Maria Simoneth @isabelmariasimoneth Styling by Nico Sutor @nicosutorfashion Michael Hastreiter @micha_fast

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Blazer - Vincent Wong Body - Effenberger Couture Shoes - Anna Field

Blazer - Vincent Wong Body - Effenberger Couture Pants - Hani Haki by Mariam Mchitarian Shoes - Birkenstock

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Look - Hani Haki by Mariam Mchitarian

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Facemask - Philipp Fritsche Blazer - Vincent Wong Shirt - Moritz Iden

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Coat -Timur Gapurov Shirt - Moritz Iden Pants - Hani Haki by Mariam Mchitarian

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Turtleneck - Timur Gapurov Dress - Moritz Iden Shoes - WSKEISP

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Blazer - Vincent Wong Shirt - Eton Pants - Timur Gapurov

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Facemask - Philipp Fritsche Blazer - Vincent Wong Body - Myriam Hofmann

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Facemask - Philipp Fritsche Turtleneck - Franziska Michael Coat - Vincent Wong

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Coat and Shirt - Gloria Hohmeister Jacket - Hani Haki by Mariam Mchitarian Shoes - Timur Gapurov Tights - Wolford Biker Shorts - Nico Sutor Underpants - Calzedonia

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Glasses and Dress - Moritz Iden Bodysuit - Hani Haki by Mariam Mchitarian

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Jacket and Skirt - Franziska Michael Blouse - Myriam Hofmann

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Facemask - Philipp Fritsche Blazer and Pants - Vincent Wong Turtleneck - Nico Sutor Bag - Moritz Iden

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Coat - Gloria Hohmeister Body - Effenberger Couture Stockings - The Latex Collection Shoes - Adidas Gloves - Nico Sutor

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Blazer - Vincent Wong Body - Effenberger Couture Pants - Hani Haki by Mariam Mchitarian Shoes - Birkenstock

Blazer - Vincent Wong Body - Effenberger Couture Shoes - Anna Field

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Ernst van Hoek Berlin, Germany

@ernst_du_coin Inspired by Henri Matisse and the events of COVID-19, designer and artist Ernst van Hoek started to explore the world of paper cut-outs. He approaches the creation of imagery in a personal and unique manner, with bright and contrasting use of colour. A wide range of sources, photographs and real objects inspires his fascination (especially) with contemporary representation of the queer body. Van Hoek sees the creation of the cut-outs as learning a new language, a way of communicating between artist and audience, maker and client. He sees this art as a medium where he is open to collaborate with fellow artists, designers and other creators.

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Spilling tea with the world’s most popular drag queen Pabllo Vittar Interview by Marcel Schlutt @marcel_schlutt Photos: Special thanks to Sony Music

KALTBLUT spoke with Brazilian and global musical sensation Pabllo Vittar, the world’s most popular drag queen. Currently self-isolating at home in Brazil, the latest COVID-19 hotspot. Pabllo talks to us about her album 111, Rosalia and she celebrated Pride Month with her LGBTQI+ community in Brazil. Welcome the one and only Pabllo Vittar at KALTBLUT. Hello from sunny Berlin! And Happy Pride Month to you! We at KALTBLUT are big fans of your work. How are you and what are you doing at this moment?

Hi! I’m ok, staying at home with my family in Brazil and taking care of each other during these complicated times!

Congratulations on your Calvin Klein Pride Campaign. Can you tell us how this cooperation happened?

This is our third time together, I think!

We did some great content at Coachella and World Pride together before and they were all amazing experiences!

How do you celebrate Pride Month?

How important is this month for the LGBTQI+ community in Brazil?

I am doing a live stream show on the 28th to celebrate with my fans, that is the main project. Pride month is always important because we are in the spotlight and we scream louder for our rights! But one thing is important, we should not wait for June to do that and we should celebrate and fight every single day!

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As an outspoken artist and performer that represents the LGBTQI+ community in your home country, do you often see yourself using your platform as an activist?

For me, it is my responsibility. If you have a platform in your hands then you have to use it to make a world a better place for everybody somehow. So I’m gonna use my voice every time I can to raise awareness and fight for my community.

You’ve been proclaimed as a “beacon of hope for LGBTQI+ Brazilians” – do you ever feel any pressure with this title?

I’ve said this a couple of times to my fans and the people around me. They are the reason I am here working right now, they are the ones that give me support and the energy to do what I do, I couldn’t be myself without them. My fans are my beacon of hope, it is the opposite! We support each other, we listen to each other’s issues and we try to overcome all of this together.

Does this affect your music at all? Or does it encourage you to be bolder and more vocal than before?

As I said, this is my energy source! If I wasn’t able to share it, I don’t think I would be able to do it. So yes, it affects me a lot!

Being a political figure must be extremely exhausting.

What do you do to make sure you’re looking after yourself mentally, physically and spiritually?

I’ve learned to not embrace hate or bad energies around me and focus on what is good or the growth that a bad situation can provide me.

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“If you have a platform in your hands then you have to use it to make a world a better place for everybody somehow.

So I’m gonna use my voice every time I can to raise awareness and fight for my community.”

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That’s the main thing, let the hate and the bad energy out of your life and keep up with the good stuff and the good people. Hold on to what you love, stay close to the ones you love and take care of your body the way you are comfortable doing.

Could you give us an insider’s perspective on how your journey started from a little kid to becoming the “World’s Most Popular Drag Queen”?

I spent a lot of time working on not thinking that I am not good enough. That took time but I never gave up. And talking about “world’s most popular drag queen”, I really don’t think I am, that’s RuPaul and it always will be!

How did your family react when young Pabllo decided “I AM A DRAG QUEEN”?

My mom is the most open-minded person I’ve ever met! She said, “Ok, you can use my make up to practice then!” [Laughs].

What kind of advice would you give to your younger self when you look back at your life story?

Take a deep breath, calm down and keep doing your thing!

Let’s talk about your music. What would you say is the message behind your album, 111?

111 is my birth date (November 1st) and that was my inspiration about it! If you go to Pabllo’s birthday, what would be playing? 111! [laughs]. So it starts with “Parabéns” that means “happy birthday” in Portuguese and starts to grow with a lot of different rhythms and it ends with “Rajadão”!

What is your favourite track of the album? And why?

I can’t say that! It’s like asking a parent what would be their favourite child, you know?

They are my babies and they will always be!

What inspired you to incorporate English and Spanish lyrics along with Portuguese that your fans are used to?

My fans, for sure. I did a tour in Europe, North and Latin America last year and I was amazed by my local fans trying to learn Portuguese so they can sing at the shows and so that we could speak to each other! After that, I decided that it was time to make that effort myself. I am still learning and I think it will take some time to reeeeally speak English and Spanish, but I can sing and I am now able to have conversations with my fans.

Along with bringing in multiple different languages, this album dabbles a lot of different musical styles and genres. How do you look at the importance of “genre”?

Genres are important but it’s also important to mix them, to try new things and I love to do that. I love Latin music, I love global pop music but I also love regional rhythms of Brazil, so I’m always trying to mix them all up and create something “new”.

You’ve had some outstanding successes in your career. What’s one of your favourite moments so far?

OMG! I think it was performing at the 2019 EMA’s. That was a dream coming true for me! And in the end, I went to Spain, performed and won an award for Best Brazilian Act. I was the first Brazilian to ever perform and the first drag queen to get an award.

That was one of the happiest days of my life!

What do you think your success says about the music industry as a whole, in terms of mainstream acceptance of queer artists?

That it is starting to change but we still have a long walk ahead of us.

How do you feel about representing your country in the Latin music scene? I mean you made history in 2018 as the first drag queen to be nominated for a Latin Grammy. How did that make you feel when you found out the news?

When I got that news I couldn’t stop screaming at my manager’s face! [Laughs]. He was the one telling me that! And you know, I feel blessed to be the first [drag queen] nominated but I hope that we will have a lot of LGBT+ artists nominated and winning the Grammys. There are a lot of super amazing talented LGBT+ artist all over the world.

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We love your music videos! You deliver spectacular bold and sexy looks. Do you see a link between music and fashion? And how important is fashion for you?

For me, especially as a drag queen, it is super connected. The music wouldn’t be complete without an amazing video serving faces and makeup and looks. And the looks wouldn’t be the same without great music! [Laughs].

They are ways that I have found to express myself.

One last question: Who are some artists you would want to collaborate with next? I would love to see you together with the amazing Rosalía!

OMG! ROSALIAAAAAA! I love her and I would love to do something with her! We’ve met a couple of times in festival and awards and she is so cute and amazing! Rosalia te quiero y te extraño mi amor!

Follow Pabllo Vittar @pabllovittar

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“Serve and protect”:

How they sold us on the mythical policing in Amerikkka from an African American’s perspective Photos by Agatha Powa @agathapowa and Foxy Film Berlin @foxyfilmberlin Text by Mike Nasa @beigegawd Mike Nasa is an artist from Sacramento, Ca who moved to Berlin in 2014. He left behind an unaffordable city in San Francisco, unwanted by his country of birth, to concentrate on investing in himself. He delivered a speech on his experiences at the “Speak Their Names” March on May 31st . A think piece on a much needed movement.

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Since the beginning of time, human beings have instinctively covered their vulnerable areas when under threat of attack.

How is it then, that police officers worldwide assume that unarmed, untrained civilians can, while being beaten and choked, calmly place their hands out in front of them or behind their back? If you thought that was a run-on sentence; you’re probably right, but we’ve got a lot of ground to cover and only so much time, so keep up. As I was saying, how can a trained professional’s actions be deemed excusable because they were, “panicked in the moment” or “scared for their well-being?”

Meanwhile, civilians are expected not to flinch when a “rogue” officer decides to finally live out their wet dream of committing legalized assault? Curling up in the fetal position is not resisting arrest – it’s an instinctual response.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, It’s impossible to go a minute on social media without seeing non-violent protesters, being beaten and gassed by military-armed domestic police for merely exercising their constitutional rights. Grown men beaten and choked while calling out for their mothers is not the cycle of rebirth we so desperately need.

Crown Vics have been replaced with unmarked SUVs and armoured vehicles. “Serve and Protect” has been replaced with body armour and tear gas, a practice banned in wartime by the Geneva Convention. We witness the death of democracy daily, ingesting it with our morning coffee: a little quarantine lockdown with a dash of Marshall Law-induced curfew and a pinch of PTSD to ruin your mental health for the day. We need to detox; something’s in the water from Flint to Ferguson, and the people we put in power aren’t fit to serve.

Meanwhile, the gun-totingqueer-bashing-die-hard Donny fans protested quarantine health and safety measures by bitching and moaning about haircuts and tattoos while cosplaying as SpecOps. And unlike that fateful time in 1967 when Bobby Seale and two dozen Black Panthers marched 54

into the California State Capitol armed with guns to protest new discriminatory gun restrictions, they were not arrested or even detained. So why are these champions of freedom oddly silent in their stand for states rights against an oppressive government regime? Is it because the victims are black and brown people, or maybe because it’s easy to protest when your health and well-being aren’t at risk. I’m reminded of the demonstrations that erupted in protest of The US Government’s involvement in Vietnam; also, a poorly handled moment in America’s dark history.

Speaking of history, oh how we grew up on tales of European discoverers bravely setting out to settle a new continent! A nicely packaged lie to whitewash the arrival of colonialism on our fair shores. “When Christopher Columbus arrived on his three ships, the Live, the Laugh and most importantly, the Love: a de-melanated version of U.S. history” was shoved down our throats; made to swallow like bitter medicine that fed the fear in our hearts. America doesn’t have a problem with racism; America was founded on racism. It was black hands that toiled the dirt and black blood that fed the soil. America expanded on racism; it murdered and disenfranchised a vast majority of the indigenous population of a continent. The Trail of Tears runs through America like the mighty Mississippi, carrying black and brown bodies out into the gulf, washed clean from our minds and our textbooks.

Now influencers drive to marches to snap a quick selfie before going home to decide on a catchy caption like...“In the age of information, ignorance is a choice”– Donny Miller. We’re continually assaulted by unending information, insulated during this quarantined lockdown. Some of us are lucky, some are stuck with racist family members, abusive partners, or sometimes worse, ourselves. It’s an unprecedented time in history; I see people starting to rub the sleep out of their eyes. I see the lightbulb go off and the realization dawn that we might just have the ability to shape our future but it’s going to take a concentrated effort, hitting them from every angle to storm their ivory towers. We need peaceful protests, signed petitions, divestment from companies with counter agendas and investment in community groups and small businesses just as badly as we need frontline soldiers, bond money and legal representation for those willing to sacrifice their bodies for the cause.

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- We need to organize to dismantle the racist structures on a local level.

- We need to protest at the racist monuments in our cities and dismantle them.

- We need to set up housing initiatives for black and brown people. (housing group for black/brown in Berlin) - We need to address diet and exercise.

- Mental health.

- Financial literacy - Intersectionality - Trans/homophobia - Rape culture - Relationship counselling - Black/brown self-defence classes for men and especially women If they put their knee on our necks, we put our foot on the gas.

If I’ve learned anything in this age of information; the truth will always come to light. The real question is, which side of history do you want to be on? We still have a long way to go in the fight for equality; I hope we can heal as a people when that day comes and walk down that road ahead, hand in hand.

“And they are lucky, that what black people are looking for is equality, and not revenge” - Kimberly Jones We need to shift the narrative. Too often, we’ve been passive, allowing the media to call us “looters” but white folks “survivors.”

We need black ownership. We need black book clubs and businesses outside of just barbershops and hair salons.

We can’t wait for our oppressor to unlock the cage for us, otherwise, we’ll enter into a world of freedom which, unbeknownst to us, is just a larger cage.

We aren’t thugs or criminals or hoodrats or ghetto. We are kings, queens, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters. We are librarians and bus drivers; we’re essential workers; we’re nurses and teachers and pilots. We need to paint our own history going forward or we’ll be forever fated to repeat our past.

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VELASQUEZ LEATH Designs and styling Mateo Velasquez @_mateovelasquez Photography Paolo Steve @paolosteve MUA Raffaele Romagnoli @raffaeleromagnolimakeup Model David Prada @davidprada_

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ER BOYS PART ONE Text by Lewie Robert Cameron @lrcfashionstylist

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KALTBLUT chats to Colombian born fashion designer Mateo Velasquez, a talented London-based graduate of Central Saint Martin’s, on his new series “Leather Boys”, on the topics of homoeroticism, hyper-masculinity and his self-exploration of his own queer identity.

Hi Mateo, how are you?

Hey! I’m well, trying to keep myself busy in these trying times.

How’s lockdown life treating you?

Mateo: To be honest it has been sort of a blessing in disguise. A much-needed break to stop and reconsider, evaluate and decide what’s worth going back to, and at what pace, once this is all over.

How are you staying motivated as a designer?

I take it as an opportunity to start fresh with thoughtful actions, re-visit old projects, exercise and keep mindful about what I can bring on next.

What’s your earliest fashion memory and when did you know you wanted to create your own designs?

I remember my grandmother customising clothing for my father back in Colombia, then throughout my teenage years I was obsessed with Jeremy Scott. I saw myself identifying with the non-conformity of his work, but it wasn’t until I arrived in London at the age of 17 when I first became interested in making. I started sewing clothes for myself as I could never find things I actually wanted to wear.

You recently dropped the first part of your ‘Leather Boys’ collection; talk me through the main inspiration for this series?

I found the initial reference for this project on ‘Casa Susanna’ a series of documentary snaps discovered at a flea market taken in the mid-’70s depicting a group of ‘heterosexual’ men who would travel to a refuge outside New York where they were allowed

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and encouraged (often by their own wives) to dress as women; that took me into researching further into subcultures where flexibility in gender behaviour is allowed, where the hyper-masculinity atmosphere allows for homoerotic behaviour, sexual fluidity and expression.

What can we expect from Part Two? The collection has been developing organically. Part One explores the more feminine and fragile side of the story and it develops into the sexual and the exposed, giving way to explorations of queer identity and the leather archetype based on non-acceptance and rebellion coming in Part Two. How would you say Leather Boys differs in comparison to your previous collection?

When I started this project I knew I wanted it to have a holistic view all-around, making garments, not for the sake of producing and self-satisfying my creative pursuits but instead, making it responsibly by up-cycling most of the materials from garments found at car-boot sales, charity shops and so on.

Have you expanded or developed any elements from your previous collections?

I’m influenced by my own queer identity, so the running themes of gender and exploration of queer culture, as well as some multicultural elements, are something innate within my aesthetic and design process.

As a young designer, how do you think you can stay unique and stand out in your own way?

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Stay true to yourself. No one else out there has experienced the things you’ve been through, and all of those small realities within yourself, those very authentic and personal stories are what make you different and hopefully, that will be reflected in your work with a strong sense of rooted identity.

When you aren’t designing, where would MV be and what would he be up to?

I’ve been boxing for a while now, creatives often tend to constantly overthink, overwork and overrun things in their minds, so it’s good to find a way to switch off even if just for one or two hours a day.

What does masculinity mean to you?

As most things, just a social construction. Something we, as a society and as individuals, need to redefine, deconstruct and accept in all its myriad forms and complexities in order to liberate ourselves from societal expectations, gender norms and gender hierarchy.

Well said. Do you have a favourite piece from the new collection?

I’ve quite enjoyed deconstructing things and finding new ways of presenting tailored jackets, which, unintentionally, becomes something quite symbolic at the same time.

What is your favourite city to visit and why?

I love going back to Medellin, they call it the city of eternal Spring. It feels like that joy we all love and have when Spring comes back, but all year round, and also, the kindness and charm of the people.

What is the most fulfilling aspect of your job?

I love seeing how other people re-interpret my garments, making it an open conversation, which is always evolving. There’s nothing more gratifying than giving people the opportunity to self-express themselves in one way or another.

What’s the most important thing you have learned so far in this industry?

To believe in myself.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t stress out if it seems like some things don’t work out the way you wanted them to, let go and things will fall into place in ways you never thought possible.

Finally, describe Leather Boys Part One in three words or less.

Deconstruct hegemonic masculinity.

Follow Mateo Velasquez @_mateovelasquez

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Phoebe Bridgers Talks About Her Second Album, Punisher, And Her Quarantine Plans Interview by Yessica Klein @yessicaklein All photos by Olof Grind @olofgrind

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Phoebe Bridgers is 25 years old and had an impressive 3-year career. Her debut album, Stranger In The Alps (2017) attracted the attention of fellow musicians around the world and has kept the singer-songwriter quite busy throughout the following years. In 2018 she released the boygenius EP with Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus, and 2019 saw the birth of Better Oblivion Community Center, a surprise collaboration with Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes), whom Phoebe also thanks for emotional and lyrical support in her second album, Punisher, released on June 19th. We talked to her to know more about her next album, her quarantine plans in LA, and a very special playlist.

Hey Phoebe! How is your quarantine going?

It’s interesting. I mean, today has been interviews, which are basically like I have a real job, so I guess that’s good.

Kind of normal, to some extent. [laughs] Yeah, exactly.

Except that I had to talk about it all day. I don’t know what’s going to happen...

Well, we can talk about your record, which is a much more positive topic.

Cool.

I would like to start with one of your bios - it was written by Carmen Maria Machado. How did that happen? That’s amazing.

I’m a really big fan of her.

We reached out to see if she would [write her bio] and she did. It was very, very cool. I was surprised she wanted to.

excited to end a concert with it someday.

How does that feel to release an album and not tour immediately?

I mean, I’d definitely rather be on tour... But if it was between not putting out the record and putting out the record, I would pick putting out the record just because it gives me something to do. It gives me something to focus on. And I don’t know, maybe people will have more time to listen to it than they would. There are a lot more people listening to more music right now, which would be cool. I would like that.

Can you tell me more about the songwriting process for Punisher?

Yeah, I wrote a lot of these songs on tour, like with other bands or by myself. It takes me a long time to write songs. For example, I have ten songs on this record and I only had eleven new songs. Like, including the ten on the record. I just wrote one like a week ago or something... I write them slowly. It’s kind of a cumulation over the past four years in my life.

And I was reading that a lot of Punisher is about heartbreak, but not necessarily pining - the songs are more about a cerebral kind of heartbreak… I wanted to ask you if that’s how you see it, or if it’s Was it that easy? All you more like a process that you reach after had to do was ask? the heartbreak.

Yeah. I think she knew I was No, I think so. I think it is how I see it. a fan because I went to one I think that songwriting helps you sort of her book signings. But we through a lot of your feelings about things. met very briefly and then my And this is just what I ended up with. I think manager reached out. She about what the songs are about way later said ‘yes’ which is very cool. than when I was writing them.

Do you have a favourite song on your new album?

Hmmm... I think right now it’s probably ‘I Know The End’. Just because it was very fun to play. I can’t wait to play it live and it means a lot of things to me.

It sounds like a concert ending song.

Totally, yeah! I’m very

Since you mentioned you were a fan of Carmen Maria Machado, what other writers or songwriters are you a fan of or inspired by?

I really, really loved Watchmen. The TV show. I also loved Fleabag. I felt like that was very important to me. It started finally getting into Joan Didion, very late in my life. I feel like she helped me fall in love with Southern California again. I love Sally Rooney’s books like everybody else. Very personal, emotional books.

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“It’s cool to release something that people understand… it totally cured a big portion of my depression.”

Do you have a favourite?

By Sally Rooney? I like Conversations With Friends more than Normal People, I think.

I just related to it more. I mean, Normal People is beautiful but Conversations With Friends was a bit more concise and I felt more connected to it.

You seem to be a fan of writing, not just as a songwriter. Would you see yourself venturing that way?

Phoebe: I’d love to! I actually just got a Masterclass, the Margaret Atwood masterclass. I’m going to try it out soon and maybe it will give me some homework.

Awesome!

So, yeah, maybe in quarantine I’ll decide to be a writer.

You already have a long list of collaborators, including a band with Conor Oberst, which is quite impressive. Are there other people that you’d like to work with?

Totally. I mean, everybody whose music I love, you know. Grouper - it would be cool to make like an instrumental record. I don’t know...

Everyone from Grouper to like, Billie Eilish, I think she’s sick. So, yeah, just everybody whose music I love, it’d be fun to collaborate with.

I always ask musicians what their future plans are... But that’s kind of tricky now, isn’t it? [laughs] Totally. I don’t know what my plans are. I guess it’s just maybe making some more stuff, you know? Make more recordings. Try to read more - stuff that I can’t do on tour.

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How different was it to create your second album?

It was way better! I think I was more scared of releasing my first album because I didn’t really have a day job and I was afraid people weren’t going to like it. But now that people pay attention to me [chuckles], it’s like I’m releasing something and something instead of something and then nothing. So it just made me more comfortable, like making stuff.

Personally, how did your first record change you? Pretty much overnight you had all these huge music names like Ryan Adams and John Mayer tweeting about you and saying you would be the next big thing - which happened...

I don’t know! It was awesome. I mean, it has weirdly cured -- I mean, not weirdly, it totally cured a big portion of my depression, feeling alone or whatever. It’s cool to release something that people understand. It’s there. It’s like the ultimate reward. I mean, it’s hard, it’s hard to believe. And I’m super grateful and can’t believe it every day.

But it’s also... It’s great! I’m like, fuck yeah, now I have this kind of job security where at least people will give a shit about what I do for a long time. You know, it feels good. It feels like - I don’t know. I like releasing music to actual people!

Did you feel any pressure releasing the second album after such an amazing response?

I felt way more pressure with the first album because I was unsigned when I made it and then Dead Oceans bought it. This time I have this huge support system. And I think I know what kind of music I like to make now.

I’d like to talk about the visuals of your music videos because I think they’re quite unique and they relate to the songs quite well. Is that something that you come up with or...?

Well, my little brother makes music videos. He’s made two videos for me now, they are kind of similar in vibe... I don’t really come up with stuff. I kind of lean into other people to make cool stuff for me. I’m very opinionated. Once I’ve seen it, I have a lot of input, but I don’t make videos myself. So yeah, I kind of look for cool artists, another cool thing about L.A... Like Nina [Ljeti] who did the Kyoto video. She’s a mutual friend and I knew she made cool videos. You know you don’t have to look super hard.

Any other names that you’d like to work with? Visually speaking?

Hmmm. I want Phoebe Waller-Bridge to make a music video for me. I think that would be funny.

Last thing about this thing that we’re all living right now. What have you been listening to?

I actually made a Spotify playlist, that -- if I may flatter myself -- is very good. It’s called ‘Catch Me Inside’. It’s everything that I’m listening to. I’m finishing this Brainiac documentary and really loving that. And I watch some of the Ken Burns country music things. I’ve been listening to stuff I haven’t listened to in a long time like Elliott Smith.

It’s all on the playlist. This band Clinic I’ve been really liking... And then I also just love podcasts. ‘My Favorite Murder’ is my favorite podcast, ‘Reply All’ has some really good stuff, ‘This American Life’...

Do you like making playlists?

I do, it’s always been one of my favorite things.

Yeah, it’s very therapeutic.

Totally, you kind of check out, you’re not thinking about other stuff.

Anything else that you’d like to add about the record or a future tour?

I’m trying to get creative. I would say probably most of the stuff I will do for a long time is going to be online. So I guess just stay tuned! Maybe I’ll start doing more online shows and see what I can think of to get people excited. I want any more stuff like that. It’s a cool tool.

Punisher, Phoebe Bridger’s second album, was released by Dead Oceans on June 19th and is available for streaming here.

Follow Phoebe Bridgers @_fake_nudes_ 73

Ora Pro Nobis Photography Alberto Lanz @lanznakebackup Model Chris Flora @chrisjhonflora Agency PARAGON @paragonmodelm Stylist Daniel Furlong @furlongfurlongfurlong Make-Up Guillermo Perez @guillermovoodoo Assistants Osvaldo Padilla @osvaldopadillaa Maria Karla @mariakarlau

Pants and Hat - CENTRO Blazer - OSCAR DE LA RENTA Top and belt - STUDIOV87 Shoes - BRANTANO

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Total look - PLY SHOWROOM

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Jewelry - FERNANDO RODRIGUEZÂ Corset and Pants - STUDIOV87 Coat - CENTRO

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Body - CENTROÂ

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Coat - STUDIOV87 Body - CENTROÂ Accessories - LA SANTA JEWERLY

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Vest - STUDIOV87 Jeans and Bag - MOSCHINO Earring - LA SANTA JEWERLY

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Vest - STUDIOV87 Jeans and Bag - MOSCHINO Earring - LA SANTA JEWERLY

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One To Watch: Adrian Weiss Interview and Portraits by Marcel Schlutt @marcel_schlutt

Models Negro @negrophil Shivani @shivani_s17 Styling by Krzysztof Komorowski @christopherkeyy Makeup by Paulina Olivia Rosa @beautybehindthebrushes Hair by Lukasz Michalak @lulaszmichalak Thanks to Adas Engel @yourbabe3000 Tell me a little bit about how ADRIAN WEISS came to be and how it all started?

Back in 2016/17 I was unemployed, recovering from years of depression and being sick and I was sewing and creating stuff every day and night, but mostly for myself and for fun. At that time, the Jobcenter asked me what I wanted to do.

So I wrote a business plan and became self-employed (sounds easy, it wasn’t) and got some more support from the Jobcentre since we whole-heartedly and mutually wanted to be out of each other’s lives.

I’d been thinking about transitioning since 2013, so it all happened at the same phase of my life when I decided to establish the label and get into more detail about medical transition. Therefore I didn’t want to use my birth name because I knew I wouldn’t be keeping it. Finding a name for both myself and my label was really hard at that time. So I combined the names of two of my family members - Adrian, which is one of my brothers’ second name and Weiss, my grandmother’s birth name.

I work very intuitively and as I started selling items regularly, I got a lot of good feedback from people - that really encouraged me to move on and focus on all-gender clubwear, bold prints, one-off items and upcycling material. All items are handmade by me.

Please tell us a little about yourself and the journey that led you to this point.

Hellooooo I’m Emrah, I’m turning 35 on July 21st (Cancer sun, Leo rising), I was born and raised in Germany, I’m

transmasculine gender non-conforming /queer (labelling myself is so hard) and my pronouns are he/him.

I was studying product design in Offenbach, Germany, when in 2010 I participated in a collaboration project at my university - that’s how I accidentally started sewing. During that time my mother, who I loved a lot, was dying of cancer. It was so hard and I went through very painful years of deep grief. Sewing literally kept me alive and let me move on and gave me hope and solace and joy when I couldn’t find it anywhere else. I’m a very impatient and impulsive person, but the moment I start to work, it makes me calm and patient and lets me find some inner peace. I have found so much meaning in this kind of creative work.

How did you get to where you are today?

Hard and consistent work, passion, patience, trust in myself and the will to learn because I’m mostly selftaught and didn’t really have anyone to ask. I invest most of my time, money and energy in my label. When I first started, I was basically always broke, so I upcycled old clothes, bedsheets, curtains because I couldn’t afford to buy new fabric. Being creative is very much about to find ways to make things work and to find ways and solutions to realize dreams or visions, not just about handcrafty skills.

There were also people who loved me and trusted in my skills and appreciated and supported me and my work when I was hopeless. Transition is playing a big role, too! I would definitely not have made it without transition.

What’s your inspiration behind your work?

There’s so much! I buy mostly offline so I get very inspired by seeing and touching material or finding some unexpected color- or fabric combo. Being able to upcycle material is very inspiring since I never know how an item is going to turn out until it’s finished.

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“I want people of any gender, age, body size to feel comfortable in what they’re wearing and to support them in expressing their identities with clothes.”

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Before COVID-19, I used to love going out. Berlin’s (queer) club scene is a whole inspiration itself. Watching people dance, move, see what they wear, how they like to represent themselves is so much fun and great inspiration.

The most important inspiration comes from being queer, gay and trans* and having a different perspective on bodies, different body issues than cis people and dysphoria about certain body parts cis people most likely don’t have. In commercial shops, lots of cute, fun and sexy items are available in small (“girls”) sizes only which is very frustrating for people of bigger sizes or bigger bodies, because it’s not easy to find comfortable, affordable and gender-affirming clothes.

I want people of any gender, age, body size to feel comfortable in what they’re wearing and to support them in expressing their identities with clothes.

What would you say this is the biggest influence to your design process.

Planning in advance is not really my thing and often items turn out differently than I expected; I like the randomness about it. When it comes to creativity and just doing it, I trust myself deeply and I’m not afraid to make mistakes. I don’t do seasonal collections and I never draw styles/designs in advance. My head is full of ideas and I literally never run out of inspiration.

People’s feedback is very important for me and I really need it to know what items, styles and sizes to focus on.

Also, (trans*) body issues have a huge influence on my work. I’m a transmasculine person and my boobs, which caused me to suffer a lot, let me become very creative when I wanted to find a way of dealing with them better via clothes.

Who would you most like to see wearing your clothes?

I used to be really excited and happy to coincidentally see people in a club wearing clothes I made (when they didn’t even know it was me who made them). Now, I’d love to see more transfeminine people and fat people/ people with bigger bodies wearing my clothes.

What’s the best piece of advice you were ever given?

“If someone’s offering you money, just take it.”

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My former roommate and friend gave me this piece of advice a few years ago when I was insecure and self-conscious about my work as a creative person and didn’t know the worth/value of it. It’s not about being greedy or getting rich, but about being humble and grateful and still knowing the worth of my time, my skills and the energy I put into my work. I used to be very bad at understanding this concept, many femme/ AFAB people are socialised this way but that’s a whole different topic though.

Why did you become a designer?

I want to do this for the rest of my life because it combines my skills and interests and things I’m good at. Creativity is unlimited and so is design, and since there’s more and more queer, trans* and non-binary people asking for the clothes I’m making I feel so grateful and confirmed and I do really see a point and sense of going on with my work.

Do you have a guilty pleasure?

Nooo, of course I don’t! But I might have a really ‘unpopular’ taste of music. I especially like trance, acid hard trance, and do you know the 90s German band Scooter? Still waiting for someone to take me to a concert.

What superpower would you love to have for 24 hours?

I’d love to learn and speak any language in just 5 minutes and also I’d love the power to replace the orange menace by a queer Black trans woman.

Which flavour of ice cream best describes your personality?

Ice cream has been my favorite food of all times ever, so I guess my personality IS ice cream, like a whole mix and variation of all the delicious and more chocolatey, caramel and creamy flavors. I need some right now!

June 2020 was Pride Month, and this year Pride was something different. How did you celebrate?

I didn’t celebrate Pride this year (had hot gay trans sex instead), and I haven’t really participated in the past except for a walk at the dyke march. It is, of course, nice to celebrate queerness, but its more important to create sustainable visibility, representation and safe spaces for those of us who are less privileged than able-bodied, white cis gay men and to make it more critical. I think there’s a lot of double-standard when it comes to celebrating pride.

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“It is fucked up that we have to let (mostly nonqueer/straight, binary, heteronormative, undereducated) cis people decide about our bodies, our health, our lives and identities.�

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How important is Pride for the trans* community?

It was black and brown trans* women fighting for our rights at Stonewall Riot which is now known as Pride - there would be no Pride without trans* people.

The umbrella term of LGBTQIA+ is very controversial and there’s a lot of discrimination and transphobia amongst the so-called community. We trans*/non-binary people constantly have to validate ourselves to be seen, but not to be seen too much, we try to pass but still be visible, we want to express ourselves but be safe on the streets or public transport, we have to fight about pronouns and names with families and even queer friends.

We’re scared to be outed or harmed, or even killed. We try to prove we’re trans* enough to be part of the community even though some people won’t or can’t do medical/physical transition. Non-binary people experience discrimination/misgendering/transphobia from other trans people, and there are only a few spaces to be seen and to actually feel and be safe. We have to come out to families, friends, doctors, bosses, strangers, it’s a long, humiliating and for many of us a never-ending journey. In some countries, we’re getting erased from the system, we´re held apart from medical care, we have to discuss and fight and die just to have the right to live.

And we cannot even fully rely on the support of people within the LGBTQIA+ community since there’s lots of highly under-educated and transphobic cis people who just don’t care.

Pride and the support from cis people is very important, and not only when its Pride, but always.

Do you think the fashion world is open enough for trans designers?

I wish. It’s not just about the designers but the whole system of how the fashion world works. I wish that the fashion world was open, but transphobia, sexism, ableism, racism and patriarchy is everywhere and there are trans people (mostly (Black/PoC) trans* women) getting murdered simply for the fact that they’re trans.

So how can the fashion world be open if the world is full of hate and disgust for us?

In commercial fashion the cis, white, skinny, able-bodied, young model is the default. Trans*models are ok, if they look cis. I don’t even know where to start because people’s perception on what beauty is, even on what diversity is and looks like is shocking.

It’s a huge industry based on heteronormative, eurocentric beauty standards, based on the exploitation of people and resources worldwide.

It’s not only about trans designers.

It’s about the people in high positions, decision-makers, managers, stylists, photographers, hair- and make-up artists, editors, model agents, models, retailers, and so on. Trans people are people and we are fucking everywhere but many of us don’t even get the chance to get into these positions because the system or society doesn’t let us access these spaces in a meaningful way.

As a male passing, German (& German citizenship), white, young, able-bodied person with access to health care, healthy food and a great social network of supportive friends and (chosen) family I am super privileged and one of the only trans* designers I know. (Maybe the others are too shy and didn’t come out to me?) So how can the fashion world be accessible for someone with less privilege?

Trans* designers are rare in the fashion world. What can we change in the system that Trans* designers are getting more support?

Before medical and physical transitioning and my official name and gender marker change, I was too insecure, dysphoric and scared to be visible with my work and to put myself out there because of the constant fear of getting misgendered, 93

“We trans*/ non-binary people constantly have to validate ourselves to be seen.�

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deadnamed, mistaken, and afraid of not being seen as who I feel like when my outside didn’t match my inside.

Being a self-employed designer comes with bureaucracy, tax stuff etc. which requires someone’s legal name and gender all the time. All the fucking time, everywhere.

The process to get the change though was very long, exhausting, expensive and when I was recently thinking about it, I cried. After repressing those feelings, I remembered how extremely humiliating it was to prove that I’m really trans - to psychologists and doctors and to the court and to my health insurance, to be afraid of telling psychologist that I’m gay in case they might possibly doubt my gender identity because of my sexuality, to be afraid they just wouldn’t believe me. I honestly don’t even know how I managed to get all that shit done and to make my business work at the same time.

it´s not really my or other trans*people’s choice to be trans*. I just wanna be myself and live the best life I can.

What does the future hold for Adrian Weiss?

From August 2020, I´ll have a bigger studio/co-working space and showroom/shop in Berlin. I want to open my online shop, and I absolutely want to make more clothes for trans people, I want to get better at making binders, to make some underwear and swimwear for trans bodies’ needs and I want to make more clothes for fat people/people with bigger bodies and maybe some genderless kid´s wear.

I also want to work on my pricing system which mostly offers a sliding scale for people to pay according to their budget, since not everyone can afford handmade clothes but they still want to look and feel cute and seen.

Thanks for the interview and for your interest in me. It only took me only 5+ hours to finish answering these questions and my boyfriend has been adding some of their spare time to help with my funny German to English translation lol.

Follow Adrian Weiss @adrianweiss_berlin

In many cases I was embarrassed for being trans and tried to hide it (thinking that people wouldn’t know… I guess they did). Since top surgery (for which I’d been desperately waiting 18 months) in January 2020, I feel more proud of being who I am and what I have achieved than ever before (I tend to forget about that, so this is a reminder to myself) and I feel ready to put myself out there and stop hiding from the world, which is good and sad at the same time, simply because I couldn’t have done it without transitioning.

To answer the question of what we can change in the system - for all trans people, not just for trans designers: the right to choose name and gender without huge effort, more visibility, more role models/transgender people in politics, in analog and in digital media, in daily life, everywhere, more early and consistent education in school for both teachers and students, more education for doctors/people working in the medical field, more education for cis people in general, and less need to prove who we are and what we feel and who we identify as. It is fucked up that we have to let (mostly non-queer/straight, binary, heteronormative, under-educated) cis people decide about our bodies, our health, our lives and identities.

People keep on telling me how brave I am for going through transition. I wish I would never have to hear that again since 95

IT’S DAVI, BITCH! Photography + Creative Direction Karl Slater @slaterkarl Stylist + Words Lewis Robert Cameron @lrcfashionstylist Grooming Sogol Ravi @sogolmakeup Model Davi @itzjustdavi

KALBLUT chats to queer and proud Instagrammer/cowboy curator Davi - a singular title like Madonna, Cher and Rihanna but with more muscles, more tattoos and more bodysuits combined with discussing issues on combating racism, staying authentic and finding confidence in loving and accepting who you are. Both inside and out.

[Whispers] It’s Davi, bitch!

Hi Davi, tell us a little about yourself and what brought you to London?

Ooh about myself, I am just a queer man making his way through this world. I’m in London quite often, I love the city, the energy, it’s always good to me. One of my dearest friends lives in London also so I visit and hang out with her a lot. Especially during the summertime [wink wink]. London has fashion, art culture music and youth tribes, it’s a whole vibe.

This issue of KALBLUT is our Pride issue, when we look at you we see a strong, proud, queer, black man. Have you always felt this way?

Confidence, for me, comes from within. I didn’t get to experience trying to find confidence, I moved out from home at age 15 and I had to have the confidence to survive. Any insecurities had to be put aside. I have to be confident and strong and be a voice for all those queer black kids who don’t have anyone to look up to.

Personally, I think that’s a major important element in the LGBTQIA+ community. Not everyone is strong and not everyone should be expected to be, I do think that continuing my journey and staying true to who I am will definitely show queer black kids out there that you can be beautiful and confident regardless of what society “expects” of you. Some people may be intimidated by confident queer people, but you either spend your life for others or for yourself.

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Have you ever felt that you have to look or act a certain way as a black queer person?

No, I do my own thing, I don’t really fit in any boxes, I am like a wild-card I think the queer community sometimes “tries” to say how one should look, act, think or feel and that’s not something I’ve ever fallen into. I’ve always done my own thing, and I consider myself queer because I am artistic and I relate way more to queer people and I think in that respect ones’ race is irrelevant.

Have you felt you’ve had to overcome any issues of racism and homophobia within the fashion industry?

I’ve always been into fashion, but I never really truly pursued it because I was an athlete; football player, the goal was to go pro, but art just kept finding its way into my brain, and I knew it was a sign. I’ve only been immersed in the fashion scene for the last two years. So this is just a very beautiful beginning for me.

Thankfully I think the fashion industry is changing, I am relatively new to the fashion industry so I haven’t fully experienced anything as far as homophobia or racism but I know it exists and it happens. I’m grateful that things are changing so now I can explore the industry being my true self and feeling 100% accepted.

Have you ever felt fetishized by the queer community?

I’m black, tatted and muscular so yes, in some people’s words I’m a walking “fantasy”. It’s constantly BBC or a thug or a prisoner or whatever bullshit that these racist gays have to come up with.

Like I’ve said, I am very thick-skinned so I can handle a lot of shit, you can’t help ignorant people, you can try but they’ll stay ignorant regardless.

HAT - NICOPANDA BELT - MOSCHINO EARRINGS - HOUSE OF LOLO CHOKER - RECLAIMED VINTAGE

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HAT - STETSON FACEMASK - DIESEL BRACES - TOPMAN GLOVES - PRTTYBOI BELT - VERSACE CHAPS - ASOS DESIGN UNDERWEAR - ASHLEY CHARLES BURR FOOTWEAR - BUFFALO

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HAT - SAINT LAURENT SCARF - CHANEL TOP - HOMO GLOVE - PRTTYBOI UNDERWEAR - MANSTORE TROUSERS - CHEMA DIAZ

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HAT - BEYOND RETRO GLOVES - PRTTYBOI BODYSUIT - PUBLIC DESIRE CHOKER - RECLAIMED VINTAGE BELT - DIOR

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How do these experiences make you feel?

I feel sad certain people can’t look at others and find them beautiful, they have to go off a fetish or a fantasy.

It makes me sad for people who want to be truly loved and loved for who they are, not for their race or whatever comes with that.

HAT - NICOPANDA BELT - DIOR BODYSUIT - FIORUCCI

What advice would you give to young black artists/ creatives looking to be more visible online?

Be authentic! Do not compare yourself to others!

Post your art! Post what you want! Hashtags lol! Do collabs! Reach out to other artists! Make sure others tag you! Post your authentic art, stand out, don’t do what everyone else is doing.

What have you learned about yourself from creating your own online identity?

I think as individuals we are constantly learning about ourselves. I will say that as I get older my artistic mind expands, which is nice because I love showing the variety that I curate online, most recently my queer cowboy content for example. I want to inspire people and excite people with my content. Take people on a little tour of my mind.

Have you ever had any prejudice online?

Well, I use my Instagram for my personal platform, and what’s frustrating is being a black man I have to try twice as hard as a white man and I keep telling myself “you’re a star, your time will come”. If someone is talented, then focus on that, not their race. You’ll have a white guy and a black guy and just because the guy is white he will have more likes, more followers, more opportunities, more shout outs. We all see it,

no one wants to call it out. but I will. Unfortunately, there will always be racist people online. I’ll continue to show my art because my art will take me to the next level, my race is irrelevant in that respect. I am who I am. An artist.

What does equality mean to you?

That everyone is treated fairly AND given the same opportunities in every area of life, no matter their race, age, gender or how they identify etc.

Have the BLM protests and movements touched/empowered you in any way?

Ah this is a tough subject, and we’ve been at this for 401 years. I’m happy that we are FINALLY being heard. This has been a very long time coming, however, this is just the beginning and everyone needs to keep pushing and fighting and doing what needs to be done for BLMs! Who has inspired you the most in your life so far?

No one particular person has inspired me in all honesty. I think we all pull inspiration from one another, that’s the beauty of Instagram, however, if we are going off of my own aesthetic the four things that really spark my interest are Tom of Finland, Tim Burton, cowboys and Matadores. I gravitate towards all these elements from the way I pose my body to how I visually present myself. And I try to consolidate all of them into creating a 101

queer artistically vibrant man :) Finally, some parting words of wisdom to live by. A Davi motto if you will.

You have to live for yourself, you’ll regret it if you don’t. I know it’s easier said than done, but truly I think one thing we all want in life, is to be happy.

Thank you Davi.

Xxx

HAT - SAINT LAURENT SCARF - LOUIS VUITTON EARRING - &OTHERSTORIES NECKLACE - RECLAIMED VINTAGE TOP - BEYOND MAN APPAREL

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HAT - ASOS DESIGN BELT - VERSACE BEADED SKULL CAP - RECLAIMED VINTAGE TOP - HOMO UNDERWEAR - VERSACE GLOVES & DENIM CHAPS - PRTTYBOI

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Earrings - ALIGHIERI Shirt - Palomo Spain available at VERV LONDON. Blazer - PAUL SMITH

Crystal

Talent Crystal @crystal.will.see.you.now Photography Darren Skene @darrenskene Styling Lewis Robert Cameron @lrcfashionstylist Grooming & Make-Up Artist Dan Delgado @dandelgado_

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Earrings - COMPLETEDWORKS Necklace - Swarovski Shirt - Bogdan Daria Shorts - Ana Ljubinkovic

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Blazer - TED BAKER Choker - &OtherStories Earrings - House of LoLo Bodywear - Calvin Klein Panniers Vintage - Fiorentina Costuming Socks - Calzedonia

Earring - COMPLETEDWORKS Necklace - Swarovski Dress - Ana Ljubinkovic

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Earrings - House of LoLo Blazer - SAINT LAURENT Tulle Top - PRTTYBOI Skirt - ERDEM

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Earrings - COMPLETEDWORKS Coat Dress - Lacica Necklace - Swarovski

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Earrings - ALIGHIERI Shirt - Palomo Spain available at VERV LONDON. Blazer - PAUL SMITH

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Balaclava - CHEMA DIAZ Earrings - PRTTYBOI Necklaces - NotOnTheHighStreet

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Hey Tom! An Homage to Tom of Finland

Photography Pablo Solano @pablosolanophoto Models Damian Garcia @damiigarcia - Pablo Solano @pablosolanno - Letal @soyletal Make-Up Letal @soy letal Harness Uriel Urban www.tomoffinland.org 113

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As Tom of Finland himself has once noted, during his whole life, he did nothing but interpret his dreams of ultimate masculinity, and draw them. Combining his love of machismo with his natural artistic talent, he created a groundbreaking body of work that celebrates the idealized male form.

A grandmaster of homoerotic art of the twentieth century and beyond whose images of masculine gay men helped smash stereotypes and produce new diversity, not only did Tom of Finland create new role models for gay men, but he also had an impact on global culture, style and attitude towards liberated sexual expression.

By day a senior art director at an advertising agency McCann Erickson, Touko Valio Laaksonen aka Tom of Finland spent his spare time drawing his sexual fantasies that featured homoerotic archetypes such as lumberjacks, sailors, bikers, blue-collar workers, policemen and men dressed in leather. Growing up in Kaarina in rural Finland, he began drawing cartoons of rough and masculine labourers at an early age. His fantasies were fueled by his experiences in World War II, in which his country fought on the side of the Nazis. Although he despised the ideology, he became deeply drawn to uniformed men of authority. His eroticism subversively reclaimed this style and reaffirmed his position as part of the gay culture, and from his earliest pieces onwards, his subjects were ecstatic, gushing and ejaculating.

As a way to avoid homophobic censorship law in Finland in the 1950s, he started submitting drawings as “Tom” to the Bob Mizer’s publication Physique Pictorial from Los Angeles. Soon, the Tom of Finland legend was born and his global career as an iconic gay figure was jumpstarted. Inspired by biker culture that embodied rebelliousness and danger, he created illustrations that capitalized on the leather and denim outfits which separated his subjects from mainstream sexual cultures. His works fuelled both the sexual fantasies and the aesthetic of many gay men, and the emerging gay leather scene inspired his works further and made them evolve.

His increasingly erotic drawings of hyper-masculine men were distributed worldwide in dime stores, sex shops or 115

bars through an international underground of fans, despite laws against the distribution of such explicit material. Travelling extensively to Europe, Laaksonen himself sold and gifted his drawings to men he met in the local gay scene, thus further proliferating his work while establishing an underground distribution network and the base of admirers.

Exploring and dismantling the representations of maleness and gender-assigned attributes in mainstream media, he turned these reference pages towards the exact opposite of their origin. Depicting oversized phalluses and muscles, his drawings challenged the existing symbolic order of heterosexuality, at the same time creating a fearless portrait of homosexual desires.

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Photographers ROKOVOY @littlesuicidecandy @volk.kinetshniy studio-rokovoy.com Model Lil Botox @lil.botox Stylist Yannis Kyriazos @yannis_kyriazos MUA Cathy Jones @katerina.peftitsi Hair using Label.M Yannis Kyriazos Assistant Eileen Nakashima

Top - HEMNOID Headcrown and Earrings with Swarovski - ARTWEAR DIMITRIADIS

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QUEEN OBSCENE Interview by Amanda M. Jansson @littlesuicidecandy

Fall in love with Eugenio Andrade Schulz and his 70s-80s inspired sinister photographic universe! The 22-year-old Mexican artist mostly works with fashion labels, fashion weeks, magazines, and musicians. Using his images to interpret his surroundings, he poses questions regarding social, religious, and sexual issues.

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Jeans Coat and Sock - ELENIKAV240791

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Top, Pants & Kimono Coat - HEMNOID Platforms - ZARA

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Vinyl Pants, Backpack and Top- HEMNOID

Tshirt - ELENA FONIADAKI

How did you first get into drag?

I started doing drag, perhaps kinda accidentally. I used to perform and dance at shows as a boy on heels. One day a friend of mine, from Athens, came, saw me, and asked me if I wanted to do a show at a shop he worked.

To appear as a man in the first show and then in the second act appear in drag. I did it, and people loved Lil Botox as much as I did. I started as a small-town drag queen with more and more guest appearances in Athens. From September, Lil Botox will be permanently in Athens working on as many shows as possible. Right now, she is on vacation. She will be back tanned and hungry for action.

Who is Lil Botox and how does she, as your persona, differ from your everyday personality as Manos?

Lil Botox is an elegant creature with great aesthetics and constantly seeking to arouse the world around her and catch all eyes. Everybody is after her body trying to tell her how horny she makes them. Now, Manos is calmer.

He doesn’t listen to Greek songs like my persona.

Actually, when I think about it, these two characters are complete opposites.

How would you describe the drag scene in Greece at the moment?

Even though drag is growing in popularity, in Greece, there are not many clubs and venues that will support drag. As a result, many of us are unemployed when it comes to that area. Also, the mentality of people when they see a drag queen is not like in some countries abroad. For drag performers, the money is little. Last year, after much effort, I had managed to persuade the anti-racism festival to add me to the schedule as the second-day headlining act, which enabled me to do a show in the biggest, most central square of Larissa. 5 minutes after I had come out on the stage, the square was packed! So, I have hope things might change if we keep pushing for change!

How is the situation regarding LGBTQ+ rights in Greece? How does it feel going out as Lil Botox?

Not good! We have almost no rights. We must refrain from expressing ourselves freely in order to be accepted within Greek society. There is no protection from anywhere. And when something happens between an LGBTQ individual and a straight person, it’s always viewed as the LGBTQ person’s fault. We are made to feel like a minority. Also, transphobia is still very present. Especially trans people and sometimes gender non conforming people are faced with even worse behaviour.

I don’t feel safe when I go out alone, especially in drag.

I usually choose to have some people go with me just in case. Even in a taxi.

What do you feel should be the role of drag when it comes to activism and raising awareness?

Through drag, you can do a lot of activist work and motivate others, as long as you want to. You can put on a garment that says something. Or the music pieces you choose. The entire show can and should be done with activism in mind. As Lil Botox, being an activist is part of my identity. I actively support all LGBTQ rights and

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Dress - ELENA FONIADAKI Tights - H&M Sandals - ZARA

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all human rights we have to fight for. I am not silent, and so I have often been in confrontations with homophobes and other fascists.

What are your future plans as Lil Botox?

I don’t have specific plans. I’m not so much a person of dreams because they never come true for me! The only thing I know is that someday I will transition from Lil Botox to Lady Botox.

Follow Lil Botox @lil.botox

Tshirt - ELENA FONIADAKI

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Kimono - HEMNOID

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Baby boy Climax of Madness

Model Sammy Finn Cullis signed at PBM Agency @pupperbitch Photography & Art Direction Jacopo Marchio www.jacopomarchio.com @jacopomarchio Camera Assistant Vesta Lotuzyte @misstothewest Hair Andrew Chen www.kramerkramer.com/andrew-chen @andrewchen_hair Styling StevenHuang @_stevenhuang Make-Up Artist Nicki Buglewicz www.nickibugsmakeup.com @nickibugs

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Candy person shorts - ULLAC Oy

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Top - Tíscar Espadas Trousers - Tíscar Espadas Cutout boots - Arthur Michard

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Coat - YMMOT Trousers - Arthur Michard Cutout boots - Arthur Michard

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Distressed knit sweater - CMMN SWDN Denim shorts - Arthur Michard

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Distressed knit sweater - CMMN SWDN

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Distressed knit sweater - CMMN SWDN Denim shorts - Arthur Michard

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Candy person shorts - ULLAC Oy

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Top - Alexander McQueen Trousers - Arthur Michard Cutout boots - Arthur Michard

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Top - Alexander McQueen

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Hat - TĂ­scar Espadas Shorts - Arthur Michard

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Jacket - YMMOT Trousers - CMMN SWDN Cutout boots - Arthur Michard

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Blazer - CMMN SWDN Trousers - MEISUN Cutout boots - Arthur Michard Red harness - Prowler Red

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#PROUDINMYCALVINS

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Six Black Trans Women Were Found Dead in Nine Days.

Their names were Brayla Stone, Merci Mack, Shaki Peters, Draya McCary, Tatiana Hall, and Bree Black. #BlackTransLivesMatter #SayTheirNames 144