Following a few simple etiquette rules can make you shine. Most Japanese people will forgive you for not understanding their customs and beliefs, but by following common etiquette you demonstrate good manners and respect.
Typically the Japanese eat at low dining tables and sit on a cushion placed on tatami floor (a reed-like mat). In formal situations both men and women kneel (“seiza”), while in casual situations the men sit cross-legged and women sit with both legs to one side.
The most important person at each meal sits on the seat of honour – known as “kamiza”. The kamiza is placed farthest from the entrance to the room where the meal is held. If there is tokonoma in the room , guests sit in front of it. The host sits at the middle of the table on one side.
In restaurants and bars a hot steamed towel (“oshibori”) is offered so you can clean your hands. Do not wipe your face with the towel. At home it’s expected people wash their hands before starting a meal.
A meal begins once the main guest, family member or waitress makes a gesture to start eating. This usually comes in the form of gratitude, such as the term “ itadakimasu”, which means, “I gratefully receive”. To finish the meal, one might say “gochisosama deshita”, which means, “thank you for the meal”.
Many Japanese traditions concerning table manners surround the use of chopsticks. Not only should they be held correctly, one must never leave chopsticks standing vertically in their bowl of food, as this resembles an offering made at funerals. One must also refrain from eating directly from a communal dish, and should try not to hover with their chopsticks when deciding on what to eat next.
When not in use, place your chopsticks on a “hashioki”, or chopstick stand. It’s not polite to talk while holding your chopsticks, so place them down if you are having a chat. Never point your chopsticks when talking, and never use them to pass food to someone else chopsticks.
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