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WELCOME TO THE PAIN EXCHANGE Skyler Novak “Please sign here for your withdrawal.” I heard a receptionist tell a customer as I sat in the waiting room. I had heard that word passed around a couple of times as people had come and gone, it felt a little weird hearing the staff refer to their products as “withdrawals.” I looked down into my hand as I gripped one of the Pain Exchange’s brochures. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, it’s not like this was going to kill me. The wait was long but I finally heard someone call my name. I hesitated in my chair as my name was called again. “Riley Young?” I shot to my feet and walked up to the receptionist. She wore a blue polo with a name tag that read “Rachael.” She greeted me with a bright smile and said: “Welcome to the Pain Exchange, what can I do for you?” I stumbled over my words, “I don’t actually know. This is my first time here.” Rachael perked up at the opportunity to give her speech. “Well, there are two procedures we offer here at the Pain Exchange. The first one, a patient will come in and pay us to remove any ailments that may be causing them distress. From headaches to cancer, there is very little we can’t do.” She paused for a moment and pulled out a pamphlet bigger than my two-page brochure. It felt like she had rehearsed it at least a hundred times. My heart was pounding in my chest as she rattled off more information. “The second is what we refer to as contracts. It’s kind of like getting a loan at a bank, except instead of paying us back you take on one of the ailments we store here in our facility.” She started pointing at different charts. “The simplest is our class one, these are things people can heal in a matter of days; headaches, colds, 24-hour bugs, things of that nature. Class two takes a little more time, but the payout is more substantial. These are your broken legs, lacerations to the flesh, things tend to be a little more gruesome here. The third class is things you may never recover from, cancer, advanced stages of pneumonia, nerve damage. While these are the most severe class three has the highest payout of the three.” Rachael was sure to take note of the interest painted on my face while looking over the price ranges. “May I ask what it is you are trying to finance?” I looked up at her again, her smile had yet to wane. “My friends and I are trying to fund a ski trip up north.” Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “That sounds fantastic, well if I may make a recommendation, it would be a class two broken bone. It would take a few weeks to heal, but the payout should be enough to cover your finances.” I couldn’t tell if she was taking advantage of my naivety, but a few weeks wasn’t all that bad. Basketball practice didn’t start until next month, I should be fine. At worst I would miss out on maybe a week or two of warmups and drills. “Do you have any questions while I draw up the paperwork?” She asked.
