Murder for Dummies

K. Q. Hampton, S.K. Successful serial killer and avid reader of true crime

About the Author: While K.Q. was born in Morristown, N.J., she was actually raised deep in the suburbian jungle of Cary, North Carolina. Just like many other kids who grew up in this environment, K.Q. had two loving and supportive parents who constantly pushed her towards greatness. As it turns out, they had no idea what terrible greatness was in store.

Of course, K.Q. had normal interests like volleyball, soccer, reading romance novels, history, and jigsaw puzzles, but it seemed as if she always had a penchant for the

sinister.

From a young age, K.Q. would obsessively watch crime TV, documentaries and movies, while also devouring Barnes and Noble’s true crime collection. K.Q. interned with the local CCBI (City County Bureau of Identification) to gain valuable insight from a law enforcement perspective. On top of this, K.Q. even went so far as to interview a prominent retired FBI profiler, successfully posing as “just" a fascinated student of forensics and psychology.

In addition to this knowledge, she has spent hours dedicated to researching the delicate intricacies of the insanity plea. For K.Q., it’s never too early to prepare a back-up plan.

With all this in mind, it seemed almost inevitable for her to take this knowledge to the next level. This guide provides the perfect recipe for all budding psychopaths desperate for ways to satiate their morbid curiosity.

Dedication: I dedicate this guide in part to my parents and their indoctrination that I could do anything I wanted when I grew up, which, as you may have guessed, I took quite literally.

I also dedicate this book to my victims, who graciously sacrificed their lives for my curiosity.

Table of Contents: __________________________ Introduction: So You Think You Can Kill Destination Motivation Diving Into Your Deep End MO Money MO Problems Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, What Makes You the Best Killer of Them All? Just Smile and Wave Boys Insane in the Membrane Welcome to my MTV Lair Dotting your i’s Brain Games Thinking Ahead?

About the Killer What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

The End? Citations

Introduction _______________________________________

It seems like just about everyone these days has their own brilliant idea for the “perfect” murder. But do they actually have what it takes? If you have purchased this book, there is a strong likelihood you have been plagued by murderous fantasies at some point or another. Whether it’s been a cheating spouse, conniving coworker, or an annoying neighbor, I am operating under the assumption that you are harboring genuine intent to kill. And if this is the case, then this guide will provide you with a “very particular set of skills,” useful to repeat offenders and first-timers alike.

Before we dive into the details of who, how, when, and where, I implore you to

why

examine the . Knowing precisely why you have been driven to murder is essential for the individual path to killing, even though it may bring some painful memories to the surface.

In the next section, I will provide details that will hopefully give some answers to questions you’ve maybe never even thought to ask yourself.

Destination Motivation ____________________________ Lady Gaga has probably made some of you wonder, was I born this way? While many people would like to believe monsters are born and not made, I tend to firmly

disagree.

Pesky homicidal urges nagging you constantly?

For example, take the Macdonald/Homicidal Triad:

Although enduring child abuse and frontal lobe trauma can account for the inclination to kill, there are some born with a combination of traits making one’s path to homicide much easier.

Interested to see if you are part of this group?

Take the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale to discover your primary and secondary psychopathy levels.

Case Study: Edmund Kemper

It is generally accepted by forensic professionals that these three traits (fire-starting, late age bedwetting and animal cruelty) serve as accurate predictors of future homicidal violence when exhibited by adolescents. However, it is more often an indicator of child abuse.

Ed Kemper had an abusive, alcoholic mother who blamed him for his parent’s divorce and forced him to live in the basement for fear of him hurting his sisters. This childhood trauma formed an intense hatred of women in Kemper’s head.

Diving Into Your Deep End ____________________________ So you have mommy issues…

If you have some combination of loathing, fear, and mistrust towards women as a whole, there’s a good chance your mother is responsible. There is no shortage of ways motherly influence can have a negative impact on your life, whether you had a helicopter mom, an abusive mom, a mom with cripplingly high expectations, an alcoholic/druggie mom, or some other matriarchal monster.

Suggestions to overcome this damage: -

If your mother is still around, take steps to acknowledge and separate yourself from her influence.

PRO TIP: Some of you probably still live with your parents, and, shockingly, this may not be a great idea when attempting to separate yourself from these issues.

Generic Last Ditch Efforts -

Shooting range Hunting Divorce Move out of your parent’s house

Most popular motivations include: -

If after you have exhausted all of these options, the urge and the pain is still there, then it’s finally time to…

FEEL THE PAIN CHANNEL THE PAIN And, most importantly,

HARNESS THE PAIN

What is driving

Anger Lust Thrill Greed

YOU?

Before you decide to take the plunge, I suggest considering these alternatives to satisfy a bit of the cravings you may have.

If it’s anger try a boxing classes If it’s lust try to write fantasy-related romance novels If it’s for a thrill go skydiving or to an adventure park If it’s for greed find other ways to cheat people for profit

MO Money MO Problems ____________________________ Find the right MO (modus operandi) for you!

There is no shortage of creative options for ending someone’s life, but the best way is the one that aligns directly with your interests. Navigating all of these wonderful choices may be a bit difficult, which is why I created this short quiz that can point you in the right direction!

Jot down your answers for each to check at the bottom of the page. This is only taking into consideration the method for a single kill.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

What is the identified gender of your intended victim?

What is your identified gender?

Do you consider yourself to have considerable strength and size?

Do you crave a feeling of power?

Would you like your victim to endure prolonged pain?

Is this is a personal target?

Do you have a comprehensive knowledge of anatomy?

Do you have a comprehensive knowledge of chemistry?

Do you have a comprehensive knowledge of biology?

Is this your first time attempting murder?

Compare Your Answers- It may not be perfect, but try to find the answers that line up best.

Poison (page 8 for more) - 1. Male 2. Female 3. No 4. No 5. No 6. Yes 7. No 8. Yes. 9. Yes 10. Yes Gun (page 9 for more) - 1. Male/Female 2. Male/Female 3. No 4. Yes 5. No. 6. Yes 7. No 8. No 9. No 10. Yes Strangulation (page 10 for more) - 1. Female 2. Male 3. Yes 4. Yes 5. Yes 6. No 7. No 8. No 9. No 10. No Stabbing (page 11 for more) – 1. Male/Female 2. Male/Female 3. Yes 4. No 5. Yes 6. Yes 7. Yes 8. No 9. No 10.

Yes

Bomb (page 12 for more) - 1. Male/Female 2. Male 3. No 4. Yes 5. No 6. No 7. No 8. Yes 9. No 10. No

Hopefully with this quiz you will discover that, much like how the wand chooses the wizard, the MO chooses

the killer.

Girl, I Must Warn YOUUU ____________________________ Unfortunately, this is not a 90s R&B hit and we are talking about actual poison. Sorry, Bell Biv Devoe. While many can appreciate the distance and cleanliness of this MO, there are many aspects of using poison as your weapon of choice that may be a cause for concern.

1. Poison is rarely used in murder cases, so it would STAND OUT to law enforcement, which is not the desired effect.

2. It also has the potential to incite a mass panic, which can draw even more unwanted attention to the crime.

3. There is a chance the person does not receive the lethal amount either through discovery or miscalculation.

4. It almost always points law enforcement in the direction of a woman.

5. Access to lethal poisons is rare and, in many cases, trackable.

If, in spite of these potential issues, you are still interested in this method then…

Pick your Poison Aconite/wolfsbane -

Case Study: Nannie Doss

Causes suffocation due to arrhythmic heart function asphyxia Rapidly and easily absorbed meaning it is virtually untraceable

Belladonna -

Single leaf or ten berries is lethal

Dimethylmercury -

Doses as little as 0.1 ml lethal Symptoms appears months after initial exposure

Mercury -

If elemental is inhaled or inorganic is ingested lethal Organic (found in tuna or swordfish), can be lethal over extended time

Nannie Doss’ nice smile is misleading considering she murdered eleven of her family members with rat poison over a span of 30 years.

Cyanide -

Kills within 1-15 minutes, can be made from or blamed on common household foods/items Fatal with dosage of 1.5 mg per kilogram of body weight

Botulinum Toxin -

Enters through open wounds or ingested food, fatal without immediate treatment Causes paralysis and failure of the respiratory system

Shoot Your Shot ____________________________ Bang! Bang! Although toy guns are necessity for the aspiring Halloween cowboy, real guns can be a necessity for the aspiring killer. Many people consider guns to be the simplest method for murder, which may very well be true.

However, due to the high volume of gun-related murders, current forensic science has also improved their methods in analyzing shootings. Scientists have the ability to quickly determine aspects, such as bullet type, make, and model, that can provide law enforcement with a clear picture of the murder weapon.

You may be thinking, so what? There are thousands of people with a gun like me! Unfortunately, depending on your location, access to guns may be limited or, at a minimum, traceable. Your “perfect” weapon might just blow up in your face.

Benefits

Despite this, there are risks associated with any method and still plenty of benefits to a gun.

Target Practice

 Quick  Efficient  If silencer is used, quiet  High chance of death with proper targeted area  Doesn’t require excessive strength

Make sure this kill is not your first time firing a gun.

Blowback and accuracy are two things you do NOT want to be concerned with during your BIG MOMENT!

Top 10 States with the Most Lenient Gun Laws Wisconsin Idaho Kentucky Louisiana Montana North Dakota Oklahoma Arizona Alaska Utah

No matter the type of gun you have or purchase, just ensure that is it not incredibly rare or trackable back to you. I highly recommend traveling to a state with lenient laws, listed on the left, to purchase and avoid an immediate trace.

Chokers Gonna Choke ____________________________

Beware! Strangulation is not for the faint of heart. This should be reserved solely for those that need to to see the life leaving their victim’s eyes, up close and personal! While it may feel good to have total control, strangulation takes time and it is a LOT more difficult than people may think. It requires incredible strength to maintain a death grip for an extended amount of time. On top of this, law enforcement can measure hand size, there is the potential for DNA transferal at some point in the process, and it takes a tremendous amount of work to subdue the victim.

But, with my help, you can get away with your wildest dreams.

All Choked Up? Not With These Handy Dandy Tools Gloves- eliminates potential for accidental scratches with DNA transferal Mask-up to you if you want eye holes, but never hurts to have a mask in case you have to back out Long Sleeves + Pants- although maybe not the most fashion-friendly, these can help lower chances of defensive wounds or scratches from your victim catching your DNA under their fingernails Duct Tape – nothing beats good old all-purpose duct tape! It can be used for your victim’s mouth or controlling their limbs.

Misc- Bring an alternative tool (wire, knife) in case choking is not for you.

Jamie Dornan as serial killer who strangles on “The Fall.”

Knife to Meet You ____________________________ Leave the butter knife at home, we got some serious carving to do! Due to the intimate nature, stabbing is not recommended for a first kill. It can get incredibly messy with blood spurting everywhere-and you can’t exactly bring along a maid for your murder. With stabbing, you also have to be able to stab repeatedly, which is, compared to firing bullets, a much more deliberate action. The goal is to strike a major vein and ensure they will bleed out, but the flip side of this is, by doing so, you are directly in the splash zone. Furthermore, you have to target dangerous areas so that you don’t end up just seriously maiming your intended victim.

Take a stab at it?

In case you need a refresher on anatomy, here are the best targets for slashing (left) and stabbing (right)

The Bomb.Com ____________________________ Boom goes the dynamite! Sadly, bombs these days are nowhere near as simple as the coyote’s TNT. Although it is interesting to note that even back then a successful bomb was trickier than expected. Crafting a bomb is tedious to say the least.

There are an infinite number of obstacles you could face, whether it’s lack of sufficient chemical knowledge, inability to inconspicuously gather the required materials, lack of time and space to forge an explosive device, and so much more. Plus, this is only taking into consideration the dangers of preparation, there are even more issues that surface when attempting to bring the bomb to fruition.

If you choose this method, you lack a guarantee that your intended target will become your victim and, even if you do hit your target, you lack the guarantee it will kill as opposed to heavily injury. Taking these negatives into consideration, the advantages lie in the distance between you and the attack as well as the attention it will draw from the public and law enforcement, which can be perceived in different ways depending on your goal.

Don’t Blow It! - Safety is not just for chemistry labs, make sure while handling your bomb it doesn’t blow up in your face.

- Unless you intend is mass casualties, try to limit the blast radius to an area that will only encompass your target.

- Try to utilize a generic process and materials to eliminate an easily identifiable technique.

More commonly known as the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski duped authorities for almost 20 years with his bombings targeting those associated with modern technology.

Case Study: Ted Kaczynski

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, What Makes You the Best Killer of Them All? ____________________________ Although there is no official rules and regulation list for someone’s ability to commit murder (wouldn’t that be something), there are many commonalities that emerge when analyzing the traits of those that gravitate towards killing. Don’t let this fool you, although these traits constantly appear in murderers, many people with these traits can enjoy a completely normal lifestyle. As described by Kevin Dutton in The Wisdom of Psychopaths, psychopaths and regular people can have similar qualities, but psychopaths have the mental “dials” tuned up much higher, creating a propensity for violent behavior. However, if you read through all of these signs below and feel like you are looking into a mirror, there is a good chance you have some form of sociopathy or anti-social personality disorder. That’s not all, personality traits are just one piece of the puzzle and there is much more to consider. Do you think you have what it takes to commit murder?

APD Symptoms

About to Lose Your Murder Virginity?

- Don’t worry, everyone is nervous for their first time.

- Be confident with your moves, hesitation is no fun for anyone.

- Don’t rush into it, build up your comfort with baby steps.

- Make sure you have all of your materials prepared well in advance, so you are not stressing on the big day.

- Relax and have fun. No matter what, this will be a special moment shared between two people.

 no concept of right and wrong  comfortable with using deceitful tactics on others  sense of arrogance and a callous attitude towards others  impulsive decision-making  constant use of manipulation and charm  excessive hostility, aggression or violence  lack of empathy or lack of remorse  maintain unhealthy relationships  consistently disregard and violate the rights of others  unnecessary involvement in dangerous behavior

Just Smile and Wave Boys ____________________________ The perfect murder lies in simplicity of the details. Think of a murder like a wedding. This may seem like a stretch, but bear with me. As with every wedding and murder, there is a complicated mixture of excitement and dread brewing between the two parties. For the wedding planner or the murderer, your goal is to think of every detail and possible outcome far in advance, allowing the events to run smoothly. Unfortunately, despite everyone’s best wishes, your wedding or murder won’t go off without a hitch, but the best option is to grin and bear it through the inner turmoil. Lucky for you, the correlations don’t end here! Check out below to see how to pull off the murderous wedding you’ve always imagined for yourself.

Do you know the saying you can never truly know someone until you marry them? Even if you don’t, this holds true for knowing murderers too. There are those who want to believe they could identify a monster anywhere because of their innate differences, however, this is highly unlikely. I truly believe that under specific circumstances any person can resort to murder.

Moral of the story: people DO NOT want to believe “nice” and “normal-looking” people can kill.

Just like how many seek out a spouse worthy of parental approval, victim selection is just as important. It is in your best interest not to select a target with which the general population would grow an attachment. A lack of public drive dissipates pressure towards law enforcement, which hopefully will lead to a slow dying out of the case.

Insane in the Membrane ____________________________ Due to the public’s fascination with the criminally insane, insanity claims are disproportionately represented in crime television and movies. This might be acceptable, except in almost every case there are typically several inaccuracies presented. This directly contributes to public misconceptions regarding a NGRI (Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity) or a GBMI (Guilty but Mentally Ill) plea. In reality, NGRI pleas are only used in about 1% of felony cases and only 25% of those pleas are successful.

Why then, you might wonder, is there a commonly held belief that this is a popular loophole in the system? Many people point to John Hinckley Jr. as the reason. When John Hinckley Jr. attempted his assassination of then President Ronald Reagan in 1981 and was sent to a mental institution instead of jail, there was massive public uproar at the decision. This led to a number of states altering their laws dealing with insanity as well as the media and entertainment choosing to use the insanity plea as the clever trick of criminals. While I will not be delving into the history of the insanity plea, I will provide you with the full scope of requirements to pull off this claim in a court of law.

Case Study: John Hinckley Jr.

Have You Lost Your Marbles?

This is operating under the assumption that you have been caught, which, with this guide, is very unlikely.

Nonetheless, to a selection of jurors, your lawyer must prove that you either didn’t “appreciate the illegality of your behavior” or were “incapable of altering your illicit behavior.”

Hinckley was institutionalized for 33 years before his release in 2016.

Surprisingly, there is not ever much sympathy from juries regarding these claims. This is due to the fact that any measures you take to cover up your crime counteract the idea that you were unaware your actions were not socially acceptable. For a frame of reference, many have defined insanity as someone who would commit a crime even if there was a cop standing next to them.

Since this was likely not your method, you already have a few things working against you.

I highly suggest pre-emptive institutionalization, as well as a licensed therapist who can attest to your lack of sanity.

Furthermore, I advise you to avoid committing a particularly gruesome crime. Jeffrey Dahmer was not considered insane, and it was largely because the jury could not overcome his terrible crimes to objectively analyze his mental state.

Welcome to my MTV Lair ____________________________ Just like anyone who has purchased a home knows, location is key. Home owners also are well versed in the fact that everyone has different places that are the best fit for them. Some murderers thrive in total seclusion and isolation so as to treasure the moments with their victim. Other killers bask in the thrill of getting away with a risky location, say the victim’s own residence. There are others still that don’t crave extended one-on-one time and prefer to take their kill to go. Whatever you choose, there are several location-specific issues for which it is best to plan ahead.

I know this is a killer stereotype and stereotyping is supposed to be bad, but secluded cabins are not a terrible idea. Make sure, however, that the cabin is not in your family name or in an area ripe for construction. Both of these will almost inevitably lead to discovery.

Dark alleyways tend to give people goose bumps, and with good reason. It seems like the perfect place for committing dastardly deeds. If this is your location of choosing, ensure there are no cameras nearby or lurkers that could identify you.

Avoid choosing a home with an alarm, a dog, or porch lights.

If you choose to strike in a neighborhood, you must first account for several possibilities.  Nosy neighbors that pay particular attention to foreign people or cars  Since many neighborhoods are packed tight, noises will be especially noticeable  Unexpected arrival of family members  A calm escape route that doesn’t arouse suspicion

Dotting your i’s ____________________________ I like to think of a signature as the “Draw 4” card in UNO. It is very fun to use against your enemies, but if you use it improperly, it can come back to haunt you at night.

For those who don’t know, a signature is the nonessential part of your MO and ingrained in the foundation of your killer compulsion. It can range from simply cutting a lock of the victim’s hair as your “trophy” to removing their eyes. Of course, depending on your method, there are limits to consider. A drive-by shooting does not exactly allow you to unleash your creative side, but perhaps a home invasion strangulation can provide you with the opportunity to express yourself just like Madonna wanted. Although it is practically impossible to avoid deviating from the bare minimum without decreasing your level of enjoyment, there are available measures that can limit the image it creates for law enforcement.

Changing Your Style?

Consider your signature like a fashion statement, it can be original, but if you go too far you will be in trouble with more than just the fashion police.

As a rule of thumb, take whatever your ideal signature would be down one “notch.” This tamer version will do wonders at minimizing the impression law enforcement gains.

Avoid living out your most gruesome fantasies, the public tends to latch on to cases that are distinct, and the last thing you need is a deluge of public attention.

Brain Games ____________________________ While you may think you have all the details planned perfectly, there is one aspect of murder that is almost impossible to predict: the psychological toll. There are a million possibilities for how killing someone can leave an indelible mark on your psyche. The mounting guilt could lead you to confess, either to law enforcement or by mistakenly confiding in someone else. Paranoia is another negative side effect, which does not bode well for a healthy lifestyle. The explanation for this, although some may not wish to hear it, is that there are simply some that are better equipped for managing murder’s inherent psychological repercussions. If you do not automatically fall into this category, I have listed some options to help combat the force of evil on one’s idle mind.

Escaping the Ghost Journal about your feelings- then burn them.

Write letters to your victim- then burn them Make drawings of the scene or your fantasies- then burn them.

(You may be sensing a bit of a theme here.)

Talk to yourself quietly in the shower about your feelings.

Remind yourself that people die every day and your victim is not contributing to overpopulation anymore!

Thinking Ahead? ____________________________ At this point, I figure some of you murder connoisseurs out there are dying, no pun intended, to hear about how to successfully elevate your status by transitioning from measly one time murderer to full on serial killer. I mean, who doesn’t love the idea of reaching the level of infamy associated with serial killers? It seems as if modern television equally condemns and romanticizes the idea of serial killer. While there is no denying the appeal, you must also take into account that with a great number of kills comes great responsibility. Worst case scenario, local law enforcement connects the dots and they bring out the top dogs. By the top dogs, I mean the criminal profilers in the FBI. In order to stay one step ahead of the profilers, you must do an in-depth self-reflection, on top of researching the basic elements of profiling to understand what they could learn about your crimes that could eventually implicate you.

Be warned, profiling courses take two years, so this is an extreme simplification of the methods to say the least. Regardless, the information is still useful to build a strong core of knowledge.

Facets of profiling:  Control Organized vs. disorganized killing  Age  most are in 20s-30s  Sex almost all are male  Race  most killers don’t cross racial lines.  Residency  family vs. live alone?

Be prepared for a lonely lifestyle, since successful serial killers require extensive alone time and mobility. Consider investing in one of these bad boys pictured below.

 Proximity location of perpetrator’s home vs. crime scene  Social skills  able to use a ruse?

Blitz-style attack?  Work and military history  stable work life + honorable discharge?

Dishonorable and constant instability with holding down a job?

About the Killer ____________________________ To help you better understand all that profiling encompasses,

Case Study: K.Q. Hampton

I have provided a rudimentary profile of me, along with my ideal target and MO for evading detection.

My Profile: - White - Female - 17 years old - Moderately athletic ďƒ play volleyball and soccer - Known presence in the school and local community - Good relationship with friends and adults - Comfortable living situation, child of amicable divorce - Loves community service - No history of violence or military affiliation Personality Traits: Confident, rarely insecure, tad narcissistic, good listener, above-average intelligence, lacking in empathy.

My primary psychopath was 87.4% higher than the rest of people taking the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy scale and my secondary psychopathy was 54% higher than others.

Sample Target: My ideal target would be a non-white female in her late 20s who resides in the Midwest. This woman would ideally be of a low socioeconomic status and be someone who is also unpopular with coworkers and family.

Sample MO: In a moderately isolated location (lake with nearby forest), I would use a ruse to gain her trust. One option is to pose as a distressed child running away from a murderer (oh, the irony) or abusive parents. Just as she looks away, I would strike her with a blunt-force object, and then proceed to stabbing and slashing. This will be messy, but will likely indicate a strong male. Afterwards, I will dig a hole and dump her into it along with chemicals designed to erode all traces of her life.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong? ____________________________ Congratulations, you’ve done it! You have finished off your first victim and are basking in the incomparable post-murder glow. I know you might believe this feeling of invincibility will last forever, sorry to burst your bubble, but this will not be the case. The end of the honeymoon phase can leave you faced with a dark future. And although it might be buried deep for some, each of you is actually human and we are all painfully aware that humans have a tendency to make mistakes. After this moment, you have upped your personal risks and now any minor mistake could cost you your life. The biggest one you could make is buying into the belief of your own infallibility. This is not the only erroneous path, so I have provided a collection of actions that have led to the disappointing downfalls of previous killers.

Don’t Count Your Murders until They’ve Hatched Arrogance the longer you go evading capture the cockier you tend to get. This arrogance can lead to indicators in your attitude and can even permeate to mistakes for your future kills.

Guilt  can haunt you and make you susceptible to turning yourself in or resorting to unmentionable darker alternatives.

Paranoia can lead you to spend too much time worrying and inhibits your ability to carry on as normal.

Letting it slip to someone else people are likely to turn you in if they discover what occurred, even family members. Ted Kaczynski would’ve continued his “revolution” if it weren’t for his brother and sister-in-law who recognized his writing from the published manifesto.

Use of a partner Partnerships tend to fall apart and the likelihood of maintaining the bond before, during, and after the murder is highly unlikely.

Targeting the object of rage/desire  fairly obvious, likely to bring yourself under suspicion and have to spend more time talking to law enforcement either as a relative or suspect.

Spur of the moment kills Likely to be messy and lack the necessary planning to stay out of the scope of incrimination.

Taunting the police Angers law enforcement and only serves to give them more information about you, unless intentionally misleading.

The End? ____________________________ So you’ve reached the end, for now at least. I know this guide doesn’t even begin to cover everything entailed with carrying out a murder, but a guide like that could never really be finished. To truly understand, it is required that you to gain your own personal experience and gather expertise on an individual basis. Before you embark on this fateful journey, I must add a few final remarks. Taking someone’s life is an irrevocable choice and one that almost inevitably leads to a lifetime of loneliness. Essentially, you must keep a secret for eternity. Eternity is an incomprehensible amount of time and this secret has the power to become a constant weight bringing you down. You will have to watch tearyeyed family members sobbing for the safe return of someone who you are very much aware will never come home. You will have to bear the knowledge that you made a choice not to allow another human to ever smile again or make new memories. This knowledge is heightened by the fact that their terror was the last thing they would ever get to experience. I am not advising against this choice, I just ask to you take a moment to weigh the consequences before you take the plunge.

Acknowledgements: I would like to clarify, for any who haven’t deduced this already, the entire guide was completed in satire. I am, in no way, advertising murder as an acceptable solution to any of your problems or fantasies. My heart goes out to victims of this horrible crime and their families. No one deserves to have their life ended at the hands of someone else’s decision, regardless of the motivation.

Works Cited ____________________________ Books: Douglas, John E., and Mark Olshaker. Mindhunter. Arrow Books, 2017.

Lewis, Dorothy Otnow. Guilty by Reason of Insanity: a Psychiatrist Explores the Minds of Killers.

Random House, 1999.

Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, and Constance Garnett. Crime and Punishment. Canterbury Classics, 2018.

Flynn, Gillian. Gone Girl. Broadway Books, 2018.

Dutton, Kevin. The Wisdom of Psychopaths. Random House UK, 2013.

Online sources: Hyperlinked throughout guide Movies: Basic Instinct, Primal Fear, Zodiac, Citizen X, Memento, American Psycho TV Shows (selected episodes from): Criminal Minds, Dexter, How to Get Away with Murder,

Blacklist, The Killing, Mindhunter, The Fall Documentaries/Reality Shows: Inside the Mind of the Serial Killer, Manhunt, Killer Couples