8 Dating Rules for Parents After a Divorce
Dating after divorce is common for individuals who have gone through the recovery process and are ready to resume their intimate life. But dating after divorce with children is a different game. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to consider a few ground rules.
Here are Dating Rules for Parents After a Divorce Reassure and validate your children No matter how old they are, you need to talk to them about your renewed dating. You must consider the other parent because children are often insecure about that. You need to explain that no
one will replace their other parent or take you away, for that matter. Tell them you will be there for them no matter what. Don't become overly defensive if your children are negative or resistant to the idea. You must acknowledge their feelings and reassure them to help them deal with their insecurities.
Only introduce them to a few different people It is never a good idea to introduce your children to many different people. Only potential partners you are sure about should come into contact with people you are dating. Otherwise, you will lose their trust.
Accept that children are different If you have more than one child, you will be surprised how differently they accept new partners. One child might be more than welcoming, while the other remains reserved. Consider each child's temperament and work with your new partner to earn their approval.
Neutral and fun location Whenever you are ready to introduce your children to your new partner on a date, pick a neutral and fun location. In other words, a place that is devoid of pressure. You can even concoct a 'chance meeting', which is especially useful if the other person has children too.
Go without a romantic sleepover Unless you are serious about the person, you should not have them sleep over. This is especially true when you have teens, or older children, who are far more likely to know what is happening. You are
better off reserving sleepovers when the children are with the other parent.
New partners should not discipline children Dating experts recommend that disciplining and making rules for children are entirely left to the parents. New partners should not intervene with things they don't like, at least not right away. This is so that children don't get stressed about following rules from a person they don't know and respectfully yet.
Encourage the other parent's relationship Regardless of how good or bad the divorce was, you should be kind to the other parent. You should be respectful of them, entirely with your child in mind. Let the other parent know you are dating again, and update them on the situation with a new prospective partner. That way, your children will not feel you have committed a betrayal when a new person comes into their lives.
Date again only when the time is right Remember to work on yourself before committing to a new relationship or dating. Being sure and committed to the process shows that your children will instinctively know that you are ready and will support you however they can. If you are not ready to trust someone new, you cannot expect your children to be ready for such change. It can be challenging to navigate dating again after a divorce, but it is doable. Following the rules mentioned above makes it so. © Kate Mansfield Dating Coach