Through the Darkness

Through the Darkness

One Transsexual’s Journey to Personal Happiness Kath Campbell

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Through the Darkness Š 2015-2018 Kath Campbell.

All Rights Reserved Unless otherwise noted names may have been changed in order to protect the privacy of individuals. The internet links and charts as well the reflected views of respective parties contained herein do not express or reflect the entirety of views of the author. The author is not being compensated by said parties in order to display their respective organizations.

This publication may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. I am making such material available in an effort to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, religious, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. we believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material in this publication is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information go to http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/ No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, the exception being material that is public domain, without the prior written permission of the copyright holder.

Written in plain American English for those ages 14 and up. There may be a few Celtic words here and there. This book contains foul language, poor grammar, unedited, unpasteurized graphic depictions of truth as well a lot of other shit most people are just not equipped to handle.

Caution: depictions of rape, physical violence, and emotion abuse.

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“Trans+Sexual. Introduced to English along with Transsexualism by David Oliver Cauldwell in 1949 based on the word Transsexualismus coined by Magnus Hirschfeld in 1923.

Popularized in the 1960s around the same time that Transgender was coined; transgender had become an umbrella term and largely but not entirely displaced Transsexual by the 1990s.”

“There are those who would torture and kill me if they knew they could get away with it. Their reason for committing such unspeakable acts is quite simple, it’s because I exist.”

Kath Campbell 6/16

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From the author My name is Kathryn and on a medical and clinical level, I am a Transsexual woman. Regardless of surgical status, your hospital records will have a note attached reading born ( male or female) in this setting I am still a Transsexual woman. In the mid nineteen nineties, after an extensive psychological evaluation, I was diagnosed with gender identity disorder. On the Franklin scale Type 6: True Transsexual High-Intensity.

Before I continue, I would like to clarify the use of the term Gender Dysphoria. "It should be noted that the term Gender Identity Disorder as so noted in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) doesn't qualify Gender Dysphoria as a state of emotional distress caused by how the gender someone was designated at birth conflicts with the gender identity as a mental disorder. This condition only affects some Transsexual individuals. The DSM Medical diagnosis of Transsexual was changed to Gender Dysphoria in twenty thirteen by the American Psychiatric Association. This was done in order to remove the stigma, disorder, attached to Gender identity thereby establishing the fact that Gender Dysphoria is a treatable condition, not a permanent disorder. However, if left untreated it can lead to suicide, depression and a host of other problems.

It is clearly understood that a stigma is attached to the word disorder, as being a mental disorder. Society assumes a mental disorder to be a permanent mental illness when in fact it is not.

Gender Dysphoria is a treatable disorder, not a mental illness and there is a difference."Also of interest https://www.theravive.com/therapedia/Gender-DysphoriaDSM--5-302.85-(F64.9) Please note I used the term True Transsexual in the book. In so doing I am referring to the Harry Benjamin Scale and in no way suggest one Transsexual is any better or less than another This is my choice of terminology.

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The Transgender/Transsexual help center through out and at the back of the book The help center provides links to validated resources regarding the Transsexual/Transgender m individuals and the general public. Some of the issues I address by publishing links The Sexual Reassignment Surgery The facts debunking the lies about Post-OP regret pg.165 Gender Equality Map-very important tool Tran’s health care, hospital care, nursing homes, Medicare and Medicaid Transition health care and hormones Open enrollment health care for the Trans individual Inclusion in health care HRC inclusion benefits for employees and dependents.

Trans law center.

Trans rights, the ACLU Trans Civil Rights by state.

Tran’s human rights by state.

The Tran’s voter APA online Know your rights Inclusive states States permitting legal Birth Certificate changes, first and middle name, last name, gender marker and driver license name and gender marker changes.

Links to state requirements if applicable and legal petitions including a name change. In the latter of the book, there are several pages of legal documents I authored with regards to protecting your identity in death.

This entails legally appointing someone who will sign your death certificate, sign vital statistics documents, permits for burial and or cremations. This individual or individuals should be trustworthy, I suggest an attorney, to respect your final wishes regardless of what the family wants.

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There are more links throughout the book. I have included advice on legal Healthcare Directives.

Legally appointing someone to identify your body and gender upon death. There is so much more do sit down and actually read the book cover to cover.

Why the book, why now?

I never intended to discuss my gender identity let alone full transition. Through the Darkness was born out of disgust and disappointment, after being pressed into my own disclosure last year I felt I could no longer remain silent.

The disinformation and blatant lies being parroted and perpetuated by the public on the net and publically by the religious and political nutters with regard to Transsexualism had become a source of daily disgust. After witnessing a now former friend post a picture of a dog with the words Jenner's cat written on it I could only think of the abuse I endured decades ago as per the result of my gender identity.

My full transition from Male to Female was perhaps the most difficult and terrifying time of my life thus far.

I have written and shared facts herein based on my own experiences as well acquired validated truths shared with me by professionals in the various fields of Gender Studies.

I have hopes of educating and enlightening others.

I also intend to expose those who continually make false claims as to being Transsexual and the fear mongering liars who call themselves Christians.

Terminology may have changed since nineteen ninety-five but the truth, the basic science, and fact have not.

You will note the term Transsexual and Transgender as they are used repeatedly in many of these articles. I will also explain how the term Transsexual exclusively represents and is definitive of the Transsexual and not the Transgender individual.

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I will also be explaining why and how the term Transgender has blurred the lines defining Transsexuals by adopting the allinclusive term Transgender.

More than a few Transsexuals’ pre, non, and post-op feel as I do about the term Transgender. For the record even though the term Transgender was created before my birth I find it offensive.

This publication has been written in an easy read format for everyone including those who are seeking to understand the issues and definitions. I have provided professional links to enable the readers’ pursuit of further information.

I can only hope the knowledge I share will be understood for its truth, from my experiences, valid science, and the depths of my soul. Let me also say that many of the articles you are about to read in Through the Darkness were very painful for me to relive, most I authored through tears.

One important note is that during this publication I intend to list, explain protocols and mandates having to do with my Transition. Nevertheless, I have also chosen not to include every detail as I feel this would enable those who are not Transsexual to appear more authentic.

Perhaps not the most hurtful and vile question I have ever been asked but it’s up there with after they cut it off did they give it to you too bring home in a jar.

I have had my share of vulgar and insensitive questions. One that hurt the most was my little brother who had not seen me in decades only to then meet me now while he was a first time guest of the state for some repugnant things he had gotten up to while living in the big city. He complimented me on how I look and said wow they did a good job and I would not have known you if I feel over you. In the next breath, he asked if I had been ‘broken in’ yet. I knew what he meant and it's disgusting to ask anyone this let alone your sister. Knowing his mind is often five beers short of a six pack it still hurt.

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Did I transition just to have sex?

No, and the question is offensive.

The Anti- Trans activist and their baseless opinions.

These are the types of things the Anti-Trans base throws at people hoping they do not know the facts. Here are but a few of the accomplices.

The Walter Heyer argument about surgery Much of the following is rubbish that comes from conservative blogs and Anti-LGBT news sites.

Heyer is an Anti-LGBT activist .http://www.gospelherald.com/articles/55972/20150609/fo rmer-transgender-walt-heyer-to-Bruce-Jenner-my-sexchange-surgery-fixed-nothing.htm http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2015/06/04/have_yo u_heard_the_story_of_walt_heyer http://www.breitbart.com/biggovernment/2015/06/03/repentant-transsexual-warns-jennerthe-hangover-is-coming/ Salon is not a well known conservative news site they tend to be balanced, unlike network news. Nevertheless, Salon does point out his transphobic rhetoric. http://www.salon.com/2015/06/03/caitlyn_jenner_shouldn t_worry_about_transition_regrets_why_walt_heyers_transp hobic_comments_are_a_bigger_challenge/ Another name being thrown about by the bigots

The McHugh Opinion Doctor Mc Hugh and his opinions of the Transsexual.

The doctor's opinions are an old argument being used by bigots and unqualified half-wits to provoke responses from their online opponents.

The agent provocateur of the Mc Hugh opinion generally has no reply when confronted with valid scientific fact.

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He or she would need to actually get aff their arse and study gender dysphoria in order to understand the facts and set aside the opinions.

Nevertheless, after taking the time to do they still could not present a valid contention because McHugh’s opinion is just an opinion. McHugh conveniently leaves out the science that deflates his opinion render it just that an opinion. Should anyone have questions regarding his opinions please see the links below before proclaiming the doctor's opinions to be established and recognized by all facts.

Below is an article on McHugh and his opinions. http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/johnshopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex-change The McHugh opinion falls apart. http://www.transadvocate.com/clinging-to-a-dangerous-pastdr-paul-mchughs-selective-reading-of-transgender-medicalliterature_n_13842.htm

Petition Hopkins to Address False LGBT Reports (Deadline 9/30/16) https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf02pElovrEp2 XQUrOxxIxQV7gVvrjctMjZG9EaFwzXR4k32Q/viewform?c=0 &w=1\

October 6th, 2016 Johns Hopkins speaks out regarding Heyer and Mc Hugh http://www.hrc.org/blog/johns-hopkins-community-callsfor-disavowal-of-misleading-anti-lgbtq-report

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Director of Advocacy, SPARTA Let’s establish who and what Dr. McHugh is. Dr. Paul McHugh is an ultra-Conservative Catholic who blames gays for the church’s sexual abuse scandal, believes sexual orientation is a choice and would rather let an 11-year-old girl raped by a relative die rather than have an abortion. He was part of the campaign that led to the murder of abortion provider Dr. George Tiller in 2009.

When he was put in charge of the gender clinic Johns Hopkins in 1975, by his own admission he intended from the beginning to close it. The “study” he did was designed from the start to facilitate his goal.

The study itself was pure nonsense, full of non-reproducible results, punishing patients for having jobs that were “too masculine,” or having been married to a woman at some point in their lives. McHugh has made it clear he finds cultural acceptance of transgender people unacceptable.

As a result, no reputable researcher will cite his “study,” and was not considered credible by any professional medical or mental health organization when developing guidelines for the treatment of transgender individuals.

The McHugh opinion falls apart yet again. https://thinkprogress.org/about-that-not-born-this-way-studyb3e07d0354f5#.oxdcqeyo4 https://thinkprogress.org/about-that-not-born-this-way-studyb3e07d0354f5#.nisgy1n7g **********************************************

Facts Transphobia-the Psychology https://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/htt ps://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/

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The next time someone says Transsexual brains are like everyone else.

The MTF, FTM Transgender/Transsexual mind http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-there-somethingunique-about-the-transgender-brain/

https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/03/16/structuralbrain-differences-for-transgender-people/133802.html When someone runs the DNA argument by you. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7689007.stm https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn15045-male-tofemale-transsexualism-gene-found/ Is Transgender a mental illness? https://genderanalysis.net/2017/08/being-transgender-is-amental-illness-what-does-the-dsm-really-say/

What does Transgender mean? http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx

Sex isn’t chromosomes: the story of a century of misconceptions about X & Y http://www.newstatesman.com/future-proof/2015/02/sexisn-t-chromosomes-story-century-misconceptions-about-x-y

Evangelically owned right wing Politicians are ever present and threat to equality. https://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/gop-cosponsor-of-anti-transbathroom-bill-is-a-danger-to-unsuspecting-women-probe-finds/

Change of sex marker on US passport https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/a pply-renew-passport/change-of-sex-marker.html

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When did I know?

I knew I was female by age seven. The underlying reasons why I did not seek help; or express my true self-was not knowing who to speak with as I felt uncertain about telling my parents Another was the knowledge realized by a seven-year-old that nineteen-fifties societies outlook upon people struggling with such issues like mine had little recourse.

I knew there was no one to help me understand why I had these feelings and resigned myself to this by the time I was nine years old. A doubt never crossed my mind over all the decades as to my gender What continually chinked at my armor was personal denial and keeping the truth locked away deep inside my being.

How my journey to personal happiness began and finished.

The brief dime tour-Transition-Surgery Based on my personal exp. The first thing you need to do is find a clinic and therapist to evaluate you. I went to Persad center in Pittsburgh, Pa in the mid-nineties. At that time we were asked to keep Persad's location secret over fears of firebombings.

If you live outside of Pa they may be able to refer you to a therapist or clinic in your area. .https://persadcenter.org/ Their website offers a wealth of information including links to vital resources such as the ACLU, Lambda Legal, and a link for the elderly Transsexual/Transgender individual.

I passed evaluation without stumbling blocks and began what some call deep therapy. It would be three years of intensive deep therapy. I emptied my metaphorical suitcases, as did we all, containing every bit of my entire life up and until that point.

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Then one at a time each piece of your life is examined and discussed. During this time I sorted the good from the bad and threw many a worthless suitcase out a window. It’s not an easy undertaking and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

The third month I was asked why I had not changed my legal name yet after which I filed the legal documents to do so. Mind you at that time states were not all that easy on changing names because of gender identity. A N.J. Court denied a college professor a name change simply because the judge felt the name was female and did not believe the woman standing in front of him was a woman. Eventually, the case was won and the documents changed. I discuss my document changes and how later in the book.

The six-month marker was extremely important to me as I would be given my HRT letter to begin hormone therapy but only if the therapist and Ph.D. in charge signed off and that they did.

Directly thereafter I found an Endocrinologist who would monitor both my hormones and hormone-suppressors. I was required to do this in order to protect my life as there may be issues discovered through blood work and the doctor would need to make adjustments to medications. I never had an issue due to hormones or suppressors. My therapist asked me if I wanted to turn back as now was the time to do so and I looked him in the eye and said this is who I am and have always been let’s continue.

By the eighth month, I had assimilated with the public to a degree.

My body had also begun to change. Things such as weight distribution, and skin softening were as expected the breast growth took some adjusting too.

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With make-up, hair, clothing, deportment I did have a wee bit of help from a neighbor who was a model in the 80s.

Everything appeared to come naturally to me. If it makes any difference I am a conservative dresser.

In the ninth month, I was been beaten unconscious by a group of local men who told me that” Jesus don't like faggots.” I am not gay and the fact that they did not know the difference between Homosexual and Transsexual did not surprise me. This was not my last beating another would follow in the future that nearly cost me my life. I spent a great deal of time discussing this with my therapist. I thought it may be a stopping point but it only made me more determined to live my truth.

The one-year marker. I was still throwing the occasional empty emotional suitcase out of a window. I was having difficulty coping with all the hate, violence and bigotry I was subject to on a daily basis. It made life nearly unbearable.

I know there is a solution to everything and I was hardpressed to find it. Short of making better people in the world I was against the wall and would sit for hours crying. It really got at me and to a point, I feared going to the local mom and pop store not far from my home. When I did go it was often I had rocks, bottles, cans and even dirt thrown at me. It's been said to me that I was the problem and my response was no their bigoted hate is the problem, their mental illness is the problem and I don’t have to take it. I decided to fight back so I bought a 9mm pistol, years later it was sold, and filed for a carry permit which I was granted.

Sadly, “there are those who would torture and kill me if they knew they could get away with it. Their reason for committing such unspeakable acts is quite simple, it’s because I exist.”

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End of the second year. I had been speaking off and on with my neighbor and we had gradually become friends. She would come for dinner with us now and then we would laugh at each other's dirty jokes. She brought a bag of weed over once and we got so fucked up all we did was laugh at everything. Laughter was something that had become a lost commodity in my life. It felt so good to laugh with a friend. Odd that I felt so much happiness in who I truly am and never laughing.

My daughter had accepted me from the start but rarely visited because of her geographical location on the globe. She was all business and I am guessing her somewhat austere manner was due to her own frustration over how I was being treated and my location in what she called a country slum.

I was financially embarrassed and this caused me a degree of stress. Adding the abuse and lack of finances together, cutting my meds in halves and dealing with red-neck thugs it was a wonder I just didn’t snuff it.

You know what? I never once thought of doing so. I pressed on saying that my truth is far greater than their psychotic Gods lies.

Second-year eight months. I was raped and beaten badly by a few of the local churchgoers. They told me they were going to put the love of Jesus in me as they took turns. I had been working in the small city nearby and had not been taking my firearm due to my right arm being bundled in a plastic cast due to an assault a short time before this event. It was dark when I arrived home and I parked my car in the garage. I stepped out of the car and that is the last thing I recall until I woke up in the woods up the hill from my home.

When they were done they urinated on me and just left me there like trash. Half conscious I crawled through the woods on my stomach until reaching the hillside.

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I crawled down and over the rocks that made up the road to my home. It felt like forever, I know now I would stop and fade out of consciousness for a few mins then move again. I managed to pull myself up the stoop to my front door and put the key in at which point the door opened and I just feel inside the door on the carpet.

I was caring for a family member who was high functioning autistic. She had gone to stay with the neighbor while I was at work. Needless to say, when I had not come to get her she became upset. My neighbor went looking for and found me laying inside the door of my home door wide open.

I didn’t go to the hospital as I had been denied care there, I had no doctor and the police were not known to be friendly when it came to Transsexuals. My friend helped me patch myself up, once the bleeding from the area they had penetrated had stropped all that was left were cuts and bruises. I called off work for three days while I mended.

When I returned my boss pressed me about two black eyes, cuts and bruises on my arms and neck but I refused to discuss them. Had she seen the rest of my body she may have fainted. It took me weeks to completely heal physically but to this day I still live with the horrible memory.

Three years one month.

I found my happiness and will forever stand in my truth.

That’s the dime tour folks.

Gender and Genetics http://www.who.int/genomics/gender/en/index1.html?fbclid= IwAR2RU9DG3kM4EVv21MvBK-Z2ewQb20aqEpo6Lo1iWknkAPnEXym9-PDRwY [16]

It should be noted that not all Transsexuals have gender dysphoria.

Gender Re-Assignment The Surgical procedure Firstly I had my surgery twenty two years ago. The penis is not (as many have put it, chopped off during the surgery) thirdly ones genital does not define ones sex one's mind does. Surgery or not the MTF and FTM transsexual are of the gender they say they are.

The MTF sexual reassignment surgery animation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSNXcjvG2HA You will need to sign in to verify your age before watching the video of the actual surgery below https://youtu.be/Y1vKT4JEcDc

Psychiatry Diagnostic code 2018

2018 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code F64.9 https://www.icd10data.com/ICD10CM/Codes/F01-F99/F60F69/F64-/F64.9

Science Gender analysis 14, chromosomes; cis expectations vs Trans reality. http://genderanalysis.net/2015/12/chromosomes-cisexpectations-vs-trans-reality-gender-analysis-14/ https://youtu.be/0frx7wsWibQ

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Surgery or not Perhaps the major issue having to do with GRS is do you seek the surgery or not, many do not while others do not.

Let me explain.

My primary issue was financial.

There are also risks involved with surgery. You may die during one.

There were strict requirements for surgery, a certain BMI index had to be met as well as other physical aspects. Something like an irregular heartbeat may disqualify you.

I knew a woman who underwent GRS in ninety-six and had terrible complications. The surgeon botched the surgery and she had horrible complications.

To think of Americas back ass logic that some states, we the people, will pay for a prisoner’s transition and surgery in the name of humane treatment while law-abiding American citizens, taxpayers, often denied the cost by medical insurance companies, and transsexual citizens who are not incarcerated are also picking up the tab for the jailbirds. Does this sound like some upside down Alice in dunderland delusional reality?

From what I understand, Medicare used to pay half the surgery cost providing you had GRS in the US. I may be wrong but from what I understand Medicare no longer provides this service.

Medicare and others in the insurance community are undergoing major changes in this year twenty fifteen, time will tell.

The US Congressional and Senatorial’ positions on these matters are yet another de-funked duck.

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Why have sex change operation? http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/cleftlip.html Imagine being seven years old and standing in front of the mirror to see a little boy’s body and knowing you are not a little boy. In years to come, I often stood screaming inside, while shaving or dressing.

I need to hide this until I understand and painfully I did hide my gender identity.

Now if you consider my dilemma by placing yourself in my shoes for a moment indeed it will be an ‘outside looking in’ view of how terrifying this was to me as a seven-year-old child.

Being aware of this at seven, also talking to dead people was only the beginning of a torment that lasted for decades.

I was bullied daily for years; I tried to end my own life several times.

I felt unworthy of love, unworthy of friendship, I saw myself as a freak that had no place in society.

People were more than happy to torment me, after all, I was a freak, and it is not as if I were human or anything.

I was treated as such by kids at school and in the neighborhood; no matter where I lived it was always more of the same the beatings.

The public intimidation, the fear of leaving the house as I knew if they should see me I would be psychically beaten.

Decades later being reintroduced to someone I knew when I began doing studio work became a blessing. At this time, I felt I could no longer live.

I had taken care of all my personal debts and business years earlier, and I was looking for someone trustworthy to take care of my family roommate.

Unbeknownst to anyone at that time I was going to kill myself and I had a foolproof plan to accomplish the deed.

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I had finally reached the point where living day to day had become far too painful for me both physically and emotionally.

Why did I seek Gender Reassignment? Because I was living a lie, I was suffering inside with a female brain in a male body, and it was tearing me apart.

I know there are some who felt I should have honored my family by taking my own life rather than shaming them.

I took the advice of someone from the past that I trusted and called the phone number he had given me. I underwent a personal transition from living the lie of pretending to be a man into the light of personal truth that I am and have always been a woman.

The question itself is offensive and it’s based on morbid curiosity. People have also used this question as a means to goad me into an argument; I have no time for such nonsense.

The truth of it all is my sex life is no ones’ business but my own.

What I did was correct a birth defect.

Useful information regarding GRS regret. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/262734734_An_A nalysis_of_All_Applications_for_Sex_Reassignment_Surgery_i n_Sweden_1960-2010_Prevalence_Incidence_and_Regrets https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274833229_Psych osocial_outcome_and_quality_of_sexual_life_after_sex_reassign ment_surgery_An_Italian_multicentric_study

Sex changes and hormones in the military Have you heard about those sex changes they are doing in the military, neither have I. Do you know that these Transgender and Transsexuals are joining up just to have their surgery?

Fact is that’s hogwash.

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The only GRS surgery I am aware of is that of Miss.

Manning. I am pissed off that a convicted felon was given a surgery that my tax dollars paid for when there are other Transsexual troops who will be paying for their own.

The fact is the military does not perform elective surgeries such as breast implants, facelifts, tummy tucks, and sexual reassignment.

This being said trans people are not signing up just to have the surgery nor are they there for the sole purpose of the surgery.

The social experiment you say, well no Transgender individuals serving in the military are not an experiment. They serve alongside every other soldier, no special treatment and they are ready to deploy and are deployed in combat areas as I speak.

It should be noted that the majority of military jobs are in tech not in theater. My only question is where and when did you serve? And if not why are you not enlisting? Bitching about Transsexual/ Transgender troops who put their lives on the line does not make them look bad it makes you Un-American.

Hormones are taken by all women at some point in their lives as well a few men. They are cheap you can buy 30 tab bottle of Premarin in NZ for about 5 dollars and the US military gets them in mass quantities for far less than that. In the American private sector, I was paying nearly two-hundred per month in the nineties until my insurance began to cover it.

Today's prices for Premarin in the USA https://www.drugs.com/price-guide/premarin

What Jesus said about Homosexuality http://www.patheos.com/blogs/graceismessy/2016/08/02/do-youknow-everything-jesus-said-about-homosexuality/

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What Jesus said about Transsexuals.

Not one thing

Doesn’t Transsexual and Transgender mean homosexual?

First look at the LGBTQ alphabet, the G stands for Gay. Why would someone place a T in there if Trans meant Gay? They wouldn’t. Gay is about sexual orientation or who you sleep with. Transsexual is about your sexual identity or who you sleep as.

If a MTF Transsexual does not have GRS are they still male or female?

Yes, those who forgo the GRS still identify and live in their respective gender and rightfully so. This is also true for the Female to Male Transsexual.

Knowing one's Gender and having established oneself in said gender emotionally, socially, and legally speaks to the fact they are who they claim to be.

Let’s look at the school of thought that gave birth to this question. We are taught from a young age that there are two genders one male and one female; gender has been defined by one's sexual organs for thousands of years.

This form of identification is not only untrue it is unscientific and illogical.

Considering one may be born ambiguous having both male and female organs the proclamation that there are only two genders is based less on science and more on long-held religious traditions. Today’s science is innovative and thereby amended by new discoveries by those in the medical profession

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However, should you add religion to science you find a bias that overrules the science all in the name of myth?

Gender is defined by ones’ mind not what is located below one's waist. Yet many not all doctors in the field of general medicine and even a few specialists feel that God defined the sexes as being male and female.

If you want to define a male and a female simply by their physical appearance or what is below their waist how about this, say a woman loses her internal reproductive organs to cancer is she no longer a woman.

She knows in her mind she is female, she has no doubt, and mind science will reaffirm her assertions.

What if a man who loses his testicles to cancer? Is he no longer a man?

We all know that a man has a penis and two testicles therefore when he no longer has them he is no longer a man, shall we simply define him as a eunuch. We are centering gender on physical appearance, this is archaic and preposterous.

Mind and physical gender are not a theory it is a fact that has been proven scientifically all anyone needs to do is a bit of research. Oh and dinnae gather information of this nature from bloggers as they only state an opinion and often paint it as fact.

What does scholarly research say about the effect of gender transition on transgender well-being? https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbtequality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-wellbeing-of-transgender-people/?fbclid=IwAR1o6NlbhZsOQn4gCe82usMcvhaz04M9Klj5rORsEti4uYNsQ-4YjTwGxk

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Gender Identity Disinformation If you seek to separate the truth from the lies regarding this topic read a book that defines and clarifies the differences between Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation. If you are reading this book, it is a good start.

Many of the propounded so-called facts I have read online concerning Gender Identity now amended as Gender Dysphoria are not written by professionals in gender sciences or those like me who completed the process. They are written by agenda driven bigots and radicle Alt- Right Christians.

I do not profess to know all; I can say I know a hell of a lot more than the unqualified fools portraying baseless opinions as facts. There exist a surfeit of falsities, hearsay-filled with inaccuracies, myths, and bias opinions weaved into Trumpian alternative facts.

One issue I have is with the non-Transsexual’s identifying as Transgender then claiming to be recognized as Transsexual.

If the individual is not in a recognized Gender Dysphoria, program or has completed one they are being untruthful.

The pseudo and fetish transvestites claiming they are Transsexuals by way of being Transgender is another bold lie.

The defining lines between Transgender and Transsexual have become so blurred and are so purposely friggin obscured today you need a goddam scorecard, day glow references, a lie detector, and poorly made cheese sandwich by which to smell the truth by comparison to the bull shite.

Many of those included in the transgender community do not know the meaning of Transsexual. A lot them claim it’s ancient meaningless fodder and this is not true. Read on and I will tell you where the Transgender term came from, who coined it and in what year. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/transsexual#English

[24]

The Benjamin scale was but one tool used by doctors and therapist in my initial evaluation and assessment as well treatment program. The scale clearly defines the distinct differences between Transvestites and True Transsexuals. The Benjamin standards of care are also specific. http://genderpsychology.org/transsexual/benjamin_gd.html https://icd.who.int/browse10/2016/en#/F64.0 Updated Standards of care 2011 http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/Standards%2 0of%20Care%20V7%20-%202011%20WPATH.pdf The rise of Transphobia, and the Transgender/Transsexual, public restroom.

I was sort of hoping World Peace would be the source of today's discussion in America, pathetic isn’t it.

Transsexual and Transgender individuals have been using restrooms all over the world without incident for decades. There is absolutely no evidence of a crime being committed by a Tran’s person in a restroom. To the contrary, there exist overwhelming documented evidence of the molestations and rapes of Tran’s individuals in bathrooms and everywhere else for that matter by cisgender individuals.

But why bother, people, politicians, and clergy with facts their minds are already made up?

The recklessness of the fear-driven public is stifling what insults me further is their willingness to fight to the death over an imaginary issue. They so desperately want to invest themselves in saving someone who is not in danger from a group of people who has never placed anyone in danger in a bathroom. Sorta like giving a dead man a flu shot!

Let us set aside locker rooms and showers for a moment as the public focus appears to be on restrooms.

[25]

With regards to such mob mentality replace the terms transsexual and transgender with Jew, Negro, Mick, Jap, Chink, and Indian as in American Indian.

Now pick a time period in American history and you will find fear the same fostered hatred being fed to the public by the wealthy.

This has always been done in order to distract the public from the disgusting things they are doing. Thusly the wealthy who own the media objectify and marginalize a group of people while drawing attention away from them. Unlike today where fascist and right-wing Levitical terrorist boast of their inhumane treatment of others as their public cheers them on.

We have sunken even lower as life forms as we have disregarded compassion and protecting the suffering for youtube ratings.

Today people who are being publically raped and beaten are filmed by repugnant pieces of filth masquerading as human beings. While the victim is bleeding and begging for help no one does a thing to render aide they just keep on filming. Those doing the videos are emotionally detached and deeply disturbed by their selfishness and detachment from compassion and empathy. The media which is a propaganda machine run by the wealthy promote fear and paranoia with these acts.

Their ability to objectify any individual or group removes the faces of those they vilify.

The result of which is creating the illusion to the public that a group of human beings is not human at all they are things and a thing can be destroyed with little guilt.

While the media owned by old rich white men distracts and misdirects the public. The media is responsible for leading the propaganda bandwagon, thus removing any suspicion of these old fecks from the public eyes.

[26]

Permit me to render an application of this insidious practice.

If you think of it today we have sunken even lower as life forms as we have replaced human compassion and empathy for the suffering with egotistical scumbags who only care about their youtube ratings.

These same people are pointing fingers at the Transsexual and Transgender community.

The community has their issues but I do not know of one Tran’s person regardless of how they feel about another who will not step in and help someone who is in peril. There hateful men and woman boasting on how they will shoot and kill a Tran’s person in a restroom and as a matter of fact anywhere they so, please.

To me, this is a preamble to full combat for when the talking stops the curtain will open and all hell will break loose.

Bottom line Transphobia has reached epidemic proportions in the United States, that’s a fecking joke United as we are anything but United. Transphobia is as destructive and its purpose is to create an environment where the phobic will not have to face their psychological issues. In order to do this they blame and torture what they see as the source of their phobia, the Trans community, while in truth they are the source of their own transphobic behavior, their victims are merely to coin a book title “whipping post” The second is education by way of valid scientific resources that use plain speak while both educating and informing you and at some point, you may realize that those you vilify are not unlike yourself.

They are just people doing their best to get through the day without confrontations. If you have given it one hundred percent and you still find yourself to be phobic seek out a behavioral therapist.

[27]

There is no shame in discussing your issues but there is shame in victimizing others because you are too much the coward to deal your own. Transphobia remains one of the major causes of Tran’s suicide, abuse, and murder in the United States.

I know what endless persecution feels like for you see I too tried to commit suicide not once but three times before stepping out of my denial and seeking the help of a psychiatrist.

Thus far in 2016 twenty-one, Transgender people had been murdered http://www.advocate.com/transgender/2016/8/11/the se-are-trans-people-killed-2016?related=1 Tran’s suicide http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wpcontent/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

Phobias https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_phobias Transphobia http://civilliberty.about.com/od/gendersexuality/g/transp hobia.htm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transphobia http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/ Transphobia violence https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_LGBT_p eople Medical http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Phobias

Suggested reading https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whipping_Girl https://www.amazon.com/Whipping-Girl-TranssexualScapegoating-Femininity/dp/1580051545

[28]

Dan Massey http://venusplusx.org/what-causes-terminal-transphobia/ https://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/

Gender Definitions important read. http://thepbhscloset.weebly.com/a-list-ofgenders--sexualities-and-their-definitions.html The Transgender/Transsexual individual. Suicide and Cold Blooded Murder. Study finds a link between discrimination and suicide attempts among transgender people http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-01-link-discriminationsuicide-transgender-people.html#nRlv From the Williams Institute, I ask you to begin on page eight as this has to do with Transgender individuals. I suggest you actually read this and not skim through it. Lives are being lost and these human beings may have been your neighbor, friend, parent or family. Do not dismiss these facts because people are dying and you or someone you know may be a part of the problem now is an opportunity to view the facts and maybe become part of the well informed compassionate solution.

Each number represents a human life, each digit was a living breathing person, and each person was someone’s loved one. It breaks my heart that so many are dying, while my America has become so discompassionate and hateful as it sinks into the inconceivable colliery of nothingness. http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wpcontent/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf More info https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unlawfully_killed_tran sgender_people

[29]

Other than the Transsexual/Transgender community there are few Americans who have deep compassion and empathy for their fellow human beings without regard to politics, media fodder, and religious extremist. The kind and wise believer’s of humanity are quick to see through the propaganda and recognize those who are holding kangaroo courts and convicting an entire group of people without evidence of them ever committing a crime.

These actions have the stench of tyranny and fascism that mirror the treatments of individuals like Sir Walter Raleigh, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. Now the Transsexual and Transgender community has been added to the list of those convicted without ever having committed a crime. There was no hearing, no presentation of evidence in defense and no due process. There exist no “actus reus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea.” There exist no prima facia evidence, therefore, no evidence exist by which to support a discussion, a formation of a committee, none the less submit a petition to the House submitting the request for judiciary action in accordance with parliamentary procedure.

Read up on civics and learn about a Congressional and Senatorial procedure.

“The act is not culpable unless the mind is guilty."

No prima facia evidence.

Factually the Republican Party has usurped our government.

They are aided by the fear mongering clergy and the all too eager media propaganda merchants. The Republican Party has made the Evangelical Christian religion a part of our Government illegally. This is forbidden by the constitution but people remain ignorant of what is happening to their government and their liberties.

[30]

The mislead public at large researchers by watching cable news, reading bias blogs written by attention whores, and nitwit know nothings throwing lunatic fringe psychedelic logic and myth in every direction with hopes of being noticed and elevating their worthless scum sucking ego for a few hours.

They gather daily, in the minutes and hours of twilight all and one of these provocateurs. Then resounding with one big cock platting bowl movement of bloody hate ringing out as if some psychotic fucking orchestra going blup blup from the depths of shit stained crust that clings to their asses.

The Bathroom issue debunked http://www.glaad.org/sites/default/files/Debunki ng_the_Bathroom_Bill_Myth_2017.pdf http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx http://mediamatters.org/research/2014/03/20/15-experts-debunkright-wing-transgender-bathro/198533

Answers to common questions asked about the Transsexual/Transgender individuals. http://www.hrc.org/resources/debunking-the-myths-transgenderhealth-and-well-being

The Harry Benjamin society changed its name several years ago to WPATH. http://www.hrc.org/resources/world-professionalassociation-for-transgender-health-wpath

Study finds a link between discrimination and suicide attempts among transgender people. http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-01-link-discriminationsuicide-transgender-people.html#nRlv

[31]

For information on Gender Identity in children. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/agesstages/gradeschool/Pages/Gender-Identity-and-GenderConfusion-In-Children.aspx There are also other links at this site for those who seek further answers for themselves and or children

If you are an adult or have a child that may be struggling with Gender identity, please consult the contacts below Call Persad at this number 1-888-873-7723 or go to the link https://persadcenter.org/pages/transgender-services Transsexual goals, yesterday and today.

I realize the many of what I had called goal post in the past have all but vanished today.

I understand their removal enables the patient to transition at their own pace.

I see the plus and the minus in these changes as I feel goals are important as are time constraints. I also understand the sometimes overwhelming duress these time periods and goals of old may cause someone dealing with Gender Dysphoria. Thus I am in agreement on one part as I feel reasonable goals should be mandated simply to prevent some from making a lifelong career out of transition and I have met several that are doing just this. I am in disagreement with replacing discipline and persistence with an easy button. Once again I refer back to those who are making a career of transition.

My mum had a saying and it goes shit or get aff the pot� this rings true when speaking of the career Transsexual/ Transgender individuals.

[32]

My statements with regard to therapy are based on my own experiences which had taken place in the nineteen nineties.

I do not use today's common term Transgender as if it offensive to me and I will explain my reasons as to why in another article later in the book.

Gender and Sexual Orientation Please note the term Transgender as being non-specific or more or less a generally ambiguous, Note bottom of the page the Term Transsexual as being specific and therefore in contrast to the term Transgender. http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm http://genderpsychology.org/transsexual/benjamin_gd.html

Stepping out of Denial Heartbreak and found courage It had taken me years to devise a plan to leave the lifesucking leeches that constantly took advantage of me in the dust.

I was tired of paying for everyone’s mistakes, including the tenth one last time at rehab for an addict I knew. I satisfied all of my debts and relocated. Except for few friends that eventually abandoned me in the name of their God, I disappeared.

After relocating, I gathered up the courage to seek help in confirming what I had known since childhood. I knew this undertaking would be difficult I also knew it would bring public shame on my family from their peers hence I left without notice to spare them the social embarrassment and intimidation of having to explain me to others if they did see me at all.

[33]

After all social status and religious dogma are more important than love and compassion for flesh and blood in deep psychological crisis. If my family truly cared about my own well-being, they would have stood by me and done so with honor and not judgment.

Their choice is not on me, the dishonor is on them.

For once in my entire life, I was going to think of myself. I realized that my happiness was more important than that of others.

I paid a hefty price for my freedom and truth in more ways than I can count but it has been bloody well worth it.

The first step in finding help is looking for a licensed clinical behavioral psychologist or psychiatrist who has been proven competent in this field.

Clinical terminology during my transition.

During my transition in the nineteen-nineties, the only clinical terms regarding human behavior having to do with Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity were Transsexual, Bi-Sexual, Intersexual (Hermaphrodite), Lesbian, Homosexual, Heterosexual, and Transvestite. Today the number of terms and their various descriptions are so numerous it makes my head spin.

Over the years, people have made up and often-used existing terms then expanded and amended their definitions in order to adapt them to their Transgender cause. Many in the Transgender community have adopted cute little pirate terms such as oppressor to describe those unfriendly to their cause.

It appears that many of these individuals are seeking a career as members of the Transgender community because they are just so feckin special it makes me want to boak.

[34]

[Rather than completing their transition and moving forward with their life with the rest of the world, excluding those who have chosen the honor to serve as advocates, they live under their Transgender umbrella because they cannae handle their own truth and that society is not going to kiss their erse.]

I am compelled to ask when the hell did we go from academic and clinical terminology to hey let’s just make shit up?

While I transitioned, unlike today, there were no large Transgender Law or study centers, no internet, and for all intent and purposes, there was just me.

There were but few organized Transsexual alliances and that few had no degree of pull to help individuals such as myself.

There were positive groups popping up and organizing when I completed the process.

During my transition, there was what I would define as radicle groups such as Trans-menace. I wanted no part of them even though I had been asked to join.

While they were busy being outraged I concentrated on myself after all myself was why I pursued help. Many of the groups I was asked to join were counterproductive in so much as asking that I endorse someone else’s idea of what was right for me, been there had done that for years never again.

[35]

During my transition I began to live and work full time as Kathryn I did volunteer work and even so, I was asked for sexual favor outside of the office by people who worked elsewhere inside this small building or at local businesses. This added further insult to the already present discrimination I was experiencing.

One of my assailants was stupid enough to grab me under the left arm. When I swung around trying to break his grip, he put his other hand in the crotch of my blue jeans. I still feel bad because I dislocated his shoulder and broke his wrist. I wanted to ring an ambulance but he said no. After this happened I began crying and did so on the drive home. The woman that operated the office was a wonderful open-minded individual who had no tolerance for such abuse. She would have called the police, who would then take a report and do nothing.

Workplace issues In the nineteen nineties and several places today one can be terminated from one's job because they are undergoing transition or have completed GRS. In the nineties, insurance companies would rarely underwrite, any type of policy for people undergoing transition and forget post op status.

If an employer cannot ensure you in case of a job-related injury, what choices do they have?

If the employer does not provide medical coverage, they must carry liability and injury insurance on employees, once again leaving them in a quagmire.

If an employer list a MTF Transsexual as Male in order to obtain insurance there may be hell to pay with the Transsexual as many would find this action offensive.

[36]

In twenty fifteen the affordable care act, which kicks into the next gear in 2016, forbids health insurance companies from discrimination based on pre-existing health conditions.

In the workplace, there may also be a great deal of antipathy directed at Transsexual individuals.

At the time of this writing in July 2015, there are new laws preventing such behavior however, they are not recognized in all states.

There are also states that have laws making it a criminal offense to physically harm a Transsexual.

In the interest of accurate information for the book, I rang an insurance agency I used to deal. I did this last week to inquire on the protocol involved with issuing a life insurance policy on both a pre and post-op Transsexual, he never returned my call, and I have called twice.

I called them and asked if this was going to be a problem and was told in quite curtain fashion he is not avoiding you! In my life experience people, generally, dinnae make such statements unless they are true.

[37]

Physical Confrontations First off, avoid them trust me regardless of laws the police are not interested in your side of things! Life’s lessons teach us there is always one asshole who will try to rain on your sunny day.

Speaking for myself, I met several daily; if not sexual advances, it was hate and religious bigotry.

One idjit made the mistake of placing his hands on me by grabbing me under the arm, as I swung around to break free he then grabbing my crotch. His trip to the ER left a lasting impression; this person never bothered me again.

Post Transition having relocated I was removing my rubbish to the outdoor bin one evening when a few knuckleheads decided to see if I was a real girl. This made me sad because I was forced to harm all of them. Do not ever let anyone put their hands on you!

There are numerous types of confrontations that MTF Transsexuals may experience and what all MTF Transsexuals should realize is that all women may be attacked and be made to deal with the attacker as well the aftermath. The exception being they are not being assaulted or mistreated for being Transsexual.

They are generally being assaulted and abused because certain men cannot control their sexual desires and animal need to control someone who may be weaker.

In a verbal confrontation, rather than stand and argue with someone I suggest you walk away. Frankly, I have better things to do with my time.

According to the media, religious and political leaders as well their followers are each and all law-abiding model citizens in a Christian society. To this I say bullshit!

[38]

Then why do women need to carry gas canisters, stun guns, and firearms? Why is rape even existent in America? How is this even possible? It appears members of the male sex cannot control their urges. Odious and Pitiful!

What would Jesus say?

I stand firmly as to matters of confrontations having to do with an imminent threat of death as a fight or flight issue determined by an individual’s perception as to the level of perceived threat and access to an escape route.

Let it be understood that I deplore violence, it solves nothing and only serves to escalate not diffuse a potentially explosive situation.

As I have said before, things can become physical, never a good course of action, and never a positive outcome. Mind you, these issues are not limited to Transsexuals; LGBTQ individuals are also being bullied.

Sexual harassment and a lot of it.

MTF sexual harassment is something the Transsexual needs to become aware of; the various manners in which this discrimination may take place are pertinent to your survival.

Many of these situations can become violent.

Odd as men who quoted their bible to me were those who asked me to have sex with them.

One of their favorites being the give me a lunch break blowjob and oh baby let’s get a hotel room I just want the experience of having a chick with a dick. It is sickening and revolting. I must ask why a straight (?) God-fearing Christian man, a pillar of the community wants to have sex with a pre-op MTF transsexual that they considered a male.

[39]

Their intentions as so stated are no more than a homosexual proposition, but of course, according to one, their God could never see them, after all, they would be in a hotel room. Yes, he actually said that!

I am not gay!!

Had I ever confided in her the names of the individuals who propositioned me, including one who physically assaulted me, she would have been shocked, pillars of the community indeed.

It may come as no surprise that those spewing hate and religious rhetoric at me were the same individuals that kept asking me for sex. One of these individuals was a clergyman.

When I told him no, he began again with the childish namecalling and shaming rubbish. These individuals need to have their mouths washed out with bleach and their genitals dipped in hot oil.

Intimidation There is another form of abuse, often verbal.

I have experienced this near my entire life and sadly, people now try to belittle me as I am a validated and proven Psychic Medium. Due to my personal disclosure over a year ago now its harassment for my being a Transsexual and a Psychic Medium.

To their embarrassment, I fire back with some of the most sarcastic and degrading things, starting with their appearance and once I do it's nonstop. Recently I have chosen to say nothing and walk away.

Not everyone succeeds in dealing with intimidation and shaming while in transition; the numbers of those who commit suicide because of this, bullying or being shamed for being who they are is growing rapidly.

As I have said before, things can become physical, never a good course of action, and never a positive outcome.

[40]

Mind you, these issues are not limited to Transsexuals but includes Lesbian, Gay and Bi individuals. The Christ-hating Christians are not just a threat to the Transsexual and Transgender community they are a threat to the entire world.

Look at the theocratic fascist governments in the Middle East.

America is becoming Hitlers, Germany and I do not speak lightly.

Shocking as it may be there are bullies and transphobes inside the Transgender community

[41]

My immediate family She knew and kept this secret from me for decades On the evening of my mother's death What my mother shared with me directly before her death sent me to my knees.

I was shocked and angry at what my parents knew and there were others in the family that knew and said nothing to me.

Mum said she always knew I was female there what she called signs. My mother was my best friend and I felt betrayed, then I realized that my parents had nowhere to turn in the nineteen fifties to help me. The doctor told them at my birth that it would be better to hold my head underwater until I expired than to have me live a horrible life.

Mum suffered a massive stroke and a heart attack during our conversation; she died right then and there. While my mother lay on my living room floor, I began CPR on her. As the ambulance had been called my wife was in bed with one of my co-workers.

To this day despite my abilities, I miss her.

She was just a few days from her birthday; she would have been fifty-eight. Her sudden death devastated me. It also made me realize I had best face my truth now if I ever expected to find some peace and happiness during this life.

My Father I cannot imagine how difficult and frustrating it had been for him. The thought of being helpless in not knowing what he could or should do to help me a girl trapped in a boy’s body.

Before he died, I felt sorry for him in ways I can not describe there is so much he missed in life because of that wretched wombat he married. What I found difficult to believe was his giving up on me.

However, his surrender was no real surprise what he had not done as a father shattered my heart to pieces.

[42]

Dads are supposed to go the distance to help their children no matter what it takes, move heaven, and earth.

As a dad, parent, this was my responsibility, my mandate, I embraced one thousand percent, and I will still do today if given a fair opportunity to do so today.

Father permitted my stepmother to run his life and make many of the decisions before and during his illness.

This may have been his way of self-punishment after losing my mother to divorce; of course, I am speculating as to discuss this further would be a waste of time. However, my mum confided in me the reason for their divorce and it knocked me off my chair. Their issues could have been resolved but dad refused to go to a marriage counselor with mum.

The day father died he appeared in my bedroom, he had both of his legs. He smiled at me turned and vanished into a tiny point of light. My only wish is that we could have gone fishing together one last time.

Alone on a boat in the ocean the two of us talking and discussing what we called affairs of state, one of which was always dinner.

My Son and I Nearly two decades have passed and due to a legal matter and the intervention of my daughter in law my son and I had a heart to heart talk. We had both been misled with regards to certain pertinent issues.

I had always thought my son only wanted my financial assistance and I was dead wrong and for that, I have apologized.

He thought I did not want him in my life as he never heard from me and that is not true.

The truth is I used to call his mother all the time to let her know where I was and how to get in touch with me.

[43]

Finding his mum was a task in itself, she relocated often, she would also run up a phone bill and then put the phone in someone else’s name and run that up.

When I was able to find her, his mother would tell me he’s not here, he’s out with friends; he is with his uncle and so forth. I always left a message!

The fact is my son never received many of these messages.

I had weekend visitation and would pick my son up then drive to my house at the Jersey shore. This was provided I could find his mother and if and when she told me he would be there.

I am beyond angry at what she did as it cost my son and I decades, not so much that she did it to me I’ve been shat on most of my life, she did this despicable thing to our son and for that I am furious.

The times I did spend with my son were often comprised of my laying on the couch with massive migraines, which I later learned when I entered the Gender Dysphoria program were caused by a hormone imbalance, my chromosomes are XYx (x attached) I did not qualify as one with Klinefelter's syndrome but the hormonal imbalance caused my headaches and those who loved me emotional pain.

Although my son and I will never get back that decade-plus, a cold reality dictates it’s gone.

Nevertheless, we have the now and hope to move forward as my son himself has said so and mind you are making the effort.

If and when he is ready to discuss what is politely being called my change I will have that discussion.

My son is an intelligent man and I have already told him I will answer any and all questions.

[44]

The doctors tell me when I begin dialysis it’s possible to live ten years, however as I have heart disease and a blockage plus I am missing part of a lung I may have as much as four maybe five years.

I say it’s up to the Universe, not men to make such decisions when it’s my time it’s my time.

Due to my overall health and age, I doubt a transplant will be possible. These health issues are my own and there is no need to pish and moan or make cartoon noises and faces to my son, his wife, and family.

It’s a happy ending though as I was able to talk to my son again and resolve certain issues.

I feel we have somewhat decided to let the past rest and move forward. I am not beyond discussing anything should he ask.

I still do not seek a seat at his dinner table because of my gender reassignment.

Although I did nothing wrong in my gender re-assignment I would never place my son or my family in the position of having to explain me should someone drop by.

I will continue to hold my head high for rising above the issues within our control and being a part of helping my son and his family in the present.

I never felt the need to tell him that Dads often work behind the scenes to help their children. I did this more than once and only recently shared with him some of the issues I quietly resolved in order to assure him the pursuit of a positive future.

Dads try to save the day because that is who we are.

[45]

My son meeting (me) Kathryn When I told my son I was in transition his reaction was one of shock and emotional distress. I love him and will not lay blame on him except to say I had bought books they I was never able to give him regarding Gender Dysphoria, and although it may have taken a year or two we could have reached an honest and respectful agreement on our future relationship.

I wanted to have a private conversation with him when we met decades ago, but circumstances did not permit this and it was quite unfortunate.

He fled and I did not blame him, I could not have laid total blame on my son, as I know there were outside influences pulling at him and it certainly was not his wife. This outside influence recently exposed their bigotry regarding Transsexuals via an online comment.

Frankly, we all make snap decisions and I have made more than a few and lived to regret several of them. I had also made decisions based on someone’s opinions by my own doing I misled myself and I accounted for these mistakes tenfold. Except for a certain someone today I trust only my decisions and opinions.

Consider this scenario with regard to my son.

Although speculative I intend to establish relevance regarding my full transition. If I had not been born with Gender Dysphoria and my dad would have shown up at my home wearing makeup and a fancy hairdo, not to mention breast I would have lost it. I would have asked (her) honest and polite questions as I would feel the need to understand.

What was I to say to my father, how could I look at (her) as a woman when I had known the man since childhood? What topics could we discuss? Could we still talk about the guy things we always had?

[46]

Can you imagine my sons' emotional distress and utter confusion?

Nevertheless, it may have taken me some time to wrap my head around but I would not have written my father off. In spite of all the rotten shat, he did to me when he remarried I would have wanted to remain in his life.

With regards to both of my children and the matter of my gender reassignment let me be clear in saying there are manipulative people out there and they do not care whom they harm as long as things fall their way.

When I met my son again after seventeen years my heart leaped with joy. A photo of us taken by my granddaughter says it all. He and I had a smile a mile wide. I have not seen him smile like that in thirty years. I know the subject is difficult for him and I understand why, if and when he is ready we will discuss the issues and I hope to offer him some type of closure.

If he never breaches the issue so be it. I pray that we will continue to move forward into a positive future.

[47]

My Daughter and I When I spoke with my daughter and told her I had entered a gender dysphoria evaluation program she was gobsmacked. I explained to her why I was doing this and she somewhat understood. When she returned to England she laid her hands on every book that was available at the time. Each of which was written by a psychologist or psychiatrist proven in the field of gender studies and gender dysphoria, in the nineties referred to a Gender Identity Disorder. We spoke by phone several times and I did my best to answer her questions.

When she visited me again she insisted on taking me shopping in Las Vegas, mind you, my daughter has a thing for the sixties and seventies vintage clothing. I was not keen on this, I survived the seventies and I did not want to fly to Vegas.

We went shopping at a large Mall in Pennsylvania, once inside she said; oh I almost forget should I call you dad or Kathryn because dad would sound pretty bloody stupid.

Shopping was her way of saying I accept you Kath since that time she has called me dad privately and Kath publically.

My daughter accepted me and to this day something I was surprised when she echoed something she never heard me say to her uncle. This was in regard to my mum. Odd feeling as she employed my own logic when speaking of how she really felt about my gender reassignment.

She said dad all that matters to me is that you are happy. If you are happy so am I. When my kidneys failed in twenty fourteen she decided to break all ties with me saying she could not handle my illness as I also have heart and lung disease. Part of my right lung was removed in two thousand and nine.

Upon returning from my hospital after massive kidney failure she said, dad, I can not handle any more sadness.

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I love you and the thought of losing you is something I can not deal with. I said sweetie we all die it’s a part of living and we still have the opportunity to enjoy the now.

Not counting my mother as that was long ago she had buried three grandparents, one being my father who she grew to love in his final days on Earth. We also lost several others in a short period of time and these events had gotten at her in ways she felt uncomfortable talking about. I said, sweetie, I am your dad and you have always been able to talk to me about anything.

There is much more to this story and that which she shared with me along with her other reasons shall remain forever private.

I am heartbroken and disappointed but not angry. I must respect her decision as you see I have no other choice.

I know deep inside of her she still accepts and loves me, because she told me so when we said goodbye.

The Transsexuals lack rights in the nineties.

There was no one but me to assert my rights or establish the fact that I am indeed a human being. I can say once exception being a well-informed Transsexual attorney who came to my aide concerning one legal issue and they did so pro bono.

I also knew two political figures, Republicans, both of which acted on my behalf on two separate occasions after I completed my transition. All of these things were taking place in nineteen ninety-five before the GOP became a sick punch line at a party, an evangelical and AIPAC owned group of warmongering bible misinterpreting transphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, fear mongering nutters.

The alliance that I knew did not stand up for me; this was quite disappointing. Of the meetings, I attended most were counterproductive.

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I stood in my truth for myself, and along the way, I never realized that my actions might have had a positive effect on the futures of other Transsexual’s but they did.

Are Transsexuals confused about their gender?

Children under eighteen know their gender although several agenda driven doctors continue to dispute the scientific facts their studies and subsequent proclamation have resulted in no change being made to any treatment plan that I am aware of so I will say no they are not confused. Adult transsexuals are not confused either, I’m not.

Please search the many links I have placed in this book.

Those making unqualified declarations alleging transsexual confusion in children, adult’s did not know who or what the feck they are let alone who anyone else.

Fast forward to the nineties In the early nineteen-nineties, I began a journey that saved not only my life, but it also helped me find who and what I truly am.

I began by being tested and then accepted into a six-month trial Gender Dysphoria evaluation program. The entire process would take me three years, as I took some time off for a major health issue.

Wait, hold the presses, my God it’s true that you cannot walk into your medical doctors' office and ask for a script to have a sex change operation! Who woulda thunk it? A behavioral psychologist must evaluate you first.

From the first month onward, I began my transition from male to female. Of the issues I brought to therapy depression was one of them. I still suffer bouts of to this day.

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According to my doctors, I still have no need of meds because I handle them well. PTSD is something I also dealt with, again Doctors said I needed no meds as I defined and worked through many of the issues as needed. What I find odd is that many not all of these issues vanished during my transition therapy and I am told this is not unusual.

After a three-month evaluation, I was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder aka Gender Dysphoria.

In my case, this diagnosis was in no way indicative of BiPolar and this was made quite clear to me.

At the end of the third month, I was asked if I wanted to stay in the program, my answer is now obvious.

I was then asked over a course of several months before receiving my successful six-month in program Hormone Replacement Therapy letter why I had not legally changed my name as of yet.

I did resolve a portion of the legal name change issue, more on this later.

The name change document was later joined with several other legal documents that once presented in effect created a legal avalanche that I literally slammed DMV with.

At the time of the HRT letter, I had much more legal and personal work to do. During the sixth month, I was granted an HRT letter, this also had my new name on it.

A Hormone Replacement therapy letter is a large step forward in the transition process. After the letter came into my hands, I located and scheduled an appointment to see an endocrinologist. This doctor would administer both female hormones and male hormone suppressants, order a blood test, monitor, and track my overall physical progress.

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Please note that Male Hormone suppressants are also administered to block the male (or female for FTM) hormones.

During the initial stages of the HRT treatment of the body, my body, physically changed redistribution of fats, breast growth, and emotional transformations. All of these must be addressed and monitored by a licensed clinical behavioral psychologist or psychiatrist who has proven competent in this field.

These may also have dangerous side effects.

Let it also be noted that female hormones may also cause internal organ issues, such as liver, vein, and what may become major lipid profile issues.

My endocrinologist told me last year that the Premarin I was taking might also cause internal bleeding.

After GRS, the male hormone suppressants are no longer needed.

It is notable that the female hormones I was taking would also continue for the rest of my life. I no longer take Premarin I take something safer now. I no longer see the endocrinologist.

Please note that those who dinnae have the surgery, and many have not for various justifiable reasons, must take the male suppressants the rest of their lives.

During the next several months, I changed my health insurance, pension, and social security number. To do this I had to legally change my name. Nine months in, I asked the therapist and a Ph.D. to write me an additional letter stating I was in a Gender Re-assignment program. This letter was extremely useful in the months to come.

One of the primary sources of frustration was the DMV; they refused to change anything even after being presented with my new social security card. I was required to work and live in my gender full time, do ya think.

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Another part of the transition process was to undergo electrolysis, hair removal, and yes dare I say extensively on ones’ private area, although there are numbing creams, this can be quite painful.

Upon receiving the HRT letter, and a subsequent letter from my therapist and a Ph.D. I had devised a plan, so I approached the Department of Motor Vehicles once again.

At that time, I gave them a certified copy of my name change affidavit. Unbelievably I was met with resistance and antipathy until I began asserting the law pointing to the obscure legality I will call ‘State Capitol point of origin.’

Harrisburg city had begun to recognize HRT documents and doctors letters in order to change names on Drivers licenses.

The Commonwealth refused to change the name and gender on my driver’s license until being presented with other legal documents, a cat and mouse game of legal semantics packed neatly inside a bureaucracy of indifference.

The negativity and disregard for existing laws as well the bold obstinance inspired me to strengthen my resolve. On a whim, I decided to help others like myself by providing certain parties with much-needed information.

I did not live in Harrisburg (state capitol) hence point of origin using Harrisburg as ‘point of origin’ of all Commonwealth law.

After all, the Commonwealth can not recognize the rights of others, while withholding same to the citizens in the remainder of the Commonwealth.

Some would argue and say counties and districts may pass laws and ordinances denying certain services. Factual as this is only in part said county and or district that is not located in Harrisburg may do so providing the laws and or adopted protocols of the Commonwealths state agencies and or the Federal Government are not disregarded and or infringed upon.

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After my failed attempts at changing my driver’s license, I decided to rethink my legal approach.

I was going to therapy several times a month and often spoke with two other Transsexuals in the same program.

During a conversation with a former colleague on impulse, alone and out of sheer frustration with the Commonwealth I decided to undertake a difficult task. I volunteered myself by saying I will see what I can do about something. I did this in exchange for a favor, plus no one had been able to place their hands on the needed information and several; had tried.

The task was a bit of critical intel work that would benefit the Transsexual community.

Within two weeks I was able to present the one person I knew to be working the issues with a Fulcrum, to quote one individual it was “ holy grail.“ These documents enabled them access to all representatives, both state and Senate, in the commonwealth.

The fulcrum provided several lists of go-to Government officials, congress, senate, and the actual aids that work with them daily, not office workers who trolley you in endless circles.

My intel enabled them direct access to near every politician in the Commonwealth, the exception being the governor and although I never obtained such information regarding him I knew someone who worked with the man daily and directly.

The Fulcrum was used to navigate through the system without red tape and provide the user with little if any resistance to accessing even more data. The contents of the Fulcrum were not secret or classified information; the information is something the politicians have always coveted. An interesting point is the Commonwealth representatives also accept driver’s license and auto registration renewals and to aid their constituencies they transported the renewals to Harrisburg for a front of the line processing. Do you see where I am going?

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Unknown to me at that time was the fact that my contribution was an important part of a process that enabled others in the Transsexual community to successfully help allies lobby a hate crimes bill and address several other issues in years to come.

The hate crimes bill was subsequently passed and signed into law by the governor only to be later overturned. I will save the bitter details.

After providing them with the Fulcrum, the pivot point, of much-needed information to active parties pursuing Transsexual rights, it never occurred to me that I was a small part of a greater good that would bring about gradual change and acceptance of Transsexuals in society.

Being told the Fulcrum I quote “is the Holy Grail,� they had sought for years I was un-phased.

By doing so, it permitted interested parties direct access to not just actual aides of state congresspersons and senators but the congresspersons and Senate members on a considerably large political level.

What I did was legal; the politicians coveted this information and held it close to themselves like a newborn baby. The information was not classified.

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The Transsexual and their spouse If you are going to be evaluated or are in the transition, process and you are in a relationship please pay close attention to what I am going to say My personal feelings on the marital relationship status at the start of transition are what I would hope to draw to the attention of both the Transsexual and their spouse, if applicable.

I know during transition one can turn back at a certain point but that’s no excuse for ignoring your spouse it is also bloody stupid to burn that bridge. If you are a Transsexual, you should straighten up and do the right things by your spouses' dinnae just pick up and leave. Tap-dancin Jesus this is the person you built a life with and in many cases a family. You owe them an explanation, you also owe them the right to speak about their feelings. You do not need their permission or the permission of your children or other family members to transition but you owe your spouse resolve and closure, you can talk to your children afterward.

Your spouse may feel betrayed and lied to and as a matter of fact, they have every right to express these sentiments. The person standing there cared for you when you were sick and enjoyed life with you when you were not.

Wake up! Your disclosure has set their emotions on high alert.

To hell with your own emotions for a moment!

Hug them if they will let you. If they ask you to leave then leave, make arrangements to pick up your things, be civil about it even if your spouse is not.

Be polite the last thing you want is to leave them with even more heartache and tears.

Don’t be a coward’ stand with them even if it is one last time, be a human being, and show some compassion. You want the world to show you compassion and empathy because of your suffering then dinnae be a flippin hypocrite.

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I can hear someone saying well what do you know you never had to do this.

Well, I do know what I am talking about.

I told my first wife and we had a long civilized discussion, in fact, we talked for days. At the end of our conversation, she looked at me and said whom can we speak with so you can get help? Then she said you know what? We are best friends and I hope we can continue living together as friends and as a friend only. We both sat there in tears!

We divorced long before I transitioned we had marital issues unrelated to my gender dysphoria. To a small degree, she was a good person in spite of all our issues.

Has my personal taste changed since transition?

Although there have been drastic changes to my appearance and deportment dare I say I now have emotions. All of these changes combined I still have my political and religious views; I still like to talk about fast cars among other things.

It is merely a media created misconception that as soon as a Transsexual undergoes transition they start discussing clothing, cosmetics, and how to makeover their home in shades of pink, speaking of myself these are all fictitious and ill-contrived absurdities. My living room looks like a nineteen-fifties Sci-Fi memorabilia display. Photos and lobby cards cover my wall, toy Robots on one of my shelves. I have a massive film collection, DVDs and VHS most of which are had to find nineteen fifties Sci-Fi films. There are no pink foo-foo slippers or foo-foo nightgowns.

Well, my bedroom is feminine, there is a huge painting of a lighthouse over my bed, and there are miniature lighthouses, some of which are AC powered replicas.

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To me, this is an extension of my love of the sea and the time I spent with my grandparents at their summer home. It is feminine to me, besides who the hell decides what is and is not feminine.

Personal appearances This is critical to the Transitioning MtF transsexuals I know this may seem unimportant to some perhaps even boring but what is being said is all part of the MTF transition on the must known list as part of the process.

Before I continue, I want to make it clear that clothes do not make the man or woman.

If anyone thinks for a moment that I transitioned, just to change my wardrobe, you’re an ill-informed jackass.

My taste in clothing reflects who I am as a person, I dinnae wear makeup while I am at home unless I am entertaining.

The majority of my makeup skills originate with me. I simply knew how to do these things. What I lacked in makeup skills was not much, other tips I was taught.

I was doing well from the start. I was later given a small bit of help with makeup from a former model I knew, she said I needed very little help if any. I must say my very first encounter with the public went poorly. It is said that the very first time dressing and venturing into public is a rush well I missed that train. Spare the details the issue was one of appearance, having to do with my wardrobe; do stay away from reds and bright colors.

I recall having grown up with elegant women of, poise, and social grace there need be no other examples.

It may seem odd, as I never had need of an instructor or being taught how to stand, sit, or walk.

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May I also add that having seen several cisgender women over these past twenty plus years while shopping or at one of my doctors’ appointments, many could use a few lessons in deportment, social grace, and use of the spoken English language.

I say this to you in earnest your journey has nothing to do with pride your life is more than pride its self-worth and inner faith combined with dignity and fortitude.

Financial burdens of transition Some of the following may be redundant I will demonstrate relevance when I begin stating cost financially.

Let me speak of requirements other than name and gender changes on a legal document.

I was only able to undergo sporadic electrolysis because I was living on such a low income due to the money the state had been taking for my son, who was well over twenty-one, married and not in college.

The same can be said for my hormones and suppressants; I had to cut the doses in half at times once again due to finances.

I was able to have the facial surgery due to a deviated septum.

The surgeon worked with me on cost after I placed a sizeable down payment.

I am afforded medical coverage under my pension, however, nearly all I had to do was listed as elective, and that I paid out of pocket. It was difficult as I was caring for my family roommate.

I am not bitching because she was of the opinion that she wanted me to help me complete transition, but I should not use all of my savings. She wanted to help financially as well, I was dead set against her doing I finally gave in and let her help.

I always made sure her needs were seen to first and even though we were living in what may be called a ghetto with a bit of savvy, budgeting we made it through.

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Once the support order on my son was vacated, I began an aggressive course of obtaining my transition-related meds. I no longer cut every other day's doses in half I resumed prescribed dosage. I aggressively pursued electrolysis to its end and pursued all else listed below but the fact remains it had taken a bit of time.

My facial surgery began but was not completed because of the extensive damage to my skull that caused a large calcium deposit requiring the attention of another type of surgeon.

Much of the physical scarring, some obvious other faded, remains to date and I still use the makeup now and then.

What had been done and the extensive rebuilding and reshaping of the lower portion of my face, nose done twice, shocked not only Joy but also a nearby friend, after the swelling went down. I looked nothing, nothing as I once did as my face had undergone a drastic change. Some say for the better and I must concur outrageous laughter.

I have not spoken to the extent of all and everything as I only wish to demonstrate the enormity of my physical and emotional transition as well the financial hardships.

GRS in the nineties.

Again depending on where and who performed your surgery the cost would vary. Be mindful many surgeons did not offer deals on multiple services during GRS. In the nineties, there were few Harry Benjamin certified surgeons that performed GRS there were also fewer true transsexuals In the nineteen-nineties, the Surgeons were spread from Canada and Colorado to Pittsburgh and Thailand.

This did not include aftercare, distilled water, stents, and related post-surgery care items. Average recovery time was six months.

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Today GRS surgeries MTF and FTM are performed by hundreds of certified physicians worldwide.

Word to anyone in transition and planning to undergo GRS, I suggest you take a small but comfortable pillow with you to GRS, trust me you will need it. . In the mid nineteen nineties, the total cost of complete transition including GRS was between twenty-five and forty-five thousand American dollars.

The total cost of just the GRS today may be as much as, depending on what you have done, eighty to one-hundredthousand, plus dollars.

Depending on the surgeons, procedures, therapist, hormones, instructors in poise, deportment, makeup, clothing, hair, travel, and where you shop for your meds as well other services. I have valid information that one woman in twenty fifteen spent seven hundred thousand dollars on her complete transition.

The facts concerning regret post-GRS. Please visit the links posted with this article. The article itself is a synopsis the links are quite in-depth and validated.

I hear the usual bigoted, uneducated liars or internet parrots tossing about percentage numbers and outright falsities as to the valid numbers related to surgical regret experienced by post-op Transsexual well here are the facts. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/mythsabout-transition-regrets_b_6160626.html

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Personal experiences with hospitals In the nineties the local MDs and hospital staff in Bedford, Pa caused me, a great deal of mental anguish. One of the MDs located in the Bedford area refused to treat me citing religion, there were others.

A Doctor located near the Maryland border gave me a sermon on how I am an abomination to God. I was thrown out of a doctor’s office after he accepted me as a patient, six months into transition, simply because another patient in the waiting room was upset or as she said ’there’s something not right with that person, “I think it may be a man” note she called me IT.” This was not the last time I had been asked to leave a doctor’s office. I had been given a variety of reasons why, my height, my manner of speaking etc.

I feel most of these women were intimidated by someone who is statuesque, well groomed, well spoken, polite, well versed in film, music, and world affairs.

If I had been holding a big gulp in one hand, a bag of potato crisps in the other, was unclean, had a poor understanding of the English language, and wearing a tee shirt that said “You don’t believe in Jesus get the hell out of my country” I may have met with their approval.

Things have gotten better over the past few years. It may just be me but I find it easier if I sit quietly off somewhere in the waiting area.

Today my primary care physician, neuro, and nephrologist treat me with the utmost respect, they are professional in every aspect of my care and frankly, I have never had any issue with them.

I have two other doctors who book me in early.

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This affords me with having not having to deal with an assortment of gossips and loud mouthed know it all’s in the waiting area. I do not see any of this as discriminatory I see this as a win, win situation as they are doing me a large favor.

I carry a porta DVD player as well an MP3 player, they both have Sony earbuds. The nurses know this and generally walk over to me when it’s my turn to go back to the exam room.

In nineteen- ninety-one I was in the process of re-building my newly purchased twenty-five room country home, the home had historic value as there were tunnels in the basement that had been used by slaves during the civil war.

I was living as Kathryn part-time and had not entered an evaluation program. While working one day on the inside of my home I collapsed. My sis Joy rang the fire brigade and they dispatched an ambulance.

I was removed to a hospital in Du Bois, Pennsylvania; my home was in the Clearfield County countryside. At the time I was being taken to the hospital, I was wearing a woman’s top, jeans, and a bra.

Upon my arrival at the hospital, they began to run the test. I started vomiting uncontrollably, I thought I would choke to death; this and a high-grade fever placed me bedridden. They said I was dehydrated and diagnosed me with COPD and Emphysema.

I had chronic bronchitis for years, and the past several months I had a flare up and had been treating at home. While in the hospital for some unknown reason, a minister came to my room.

My bra and underclothes were laid out on top of a dressing table, why I dinnae know but they were.

The minister began by saying you should be ashamed of yourself!

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What are you talking about I said, he replied well you are dressing like a woman what am I supposed to think. I said I am a woman he shot back saying you are not!

Hello, I am wearing a flippin hospital gown say what. I said do you need me to tell you what to think what are you the straw man? Can you not think for yourself?

What are people supposed to think to insert former name?

I looked at him and said I did not give a flying feck what people think you included.

He then began quoting his Bible and then a brimstone hellfire sermon. I let him rant for a few minutes and then I said who are you to speak for God? You are no God you are a frightened little man, what you are reading from your book is meaningless to me.

Then he called me an abomination to God and a child of the devil.

I looked him in the eyes and said my God loves everyone unconditionally without pause I dinnae know your hateful God now get the feck out of my room and take your hateful deity with you before I ring security.

He began ranting about Jesus, I looked at him again said you are a liar I know your bloody book and understand it far better than you now be gone, he was still ranting as he left.

I was in tears, and seeing as my sinuses were clogged, I have a chronic cyst, I began to choke on the nasal drip. A nurse came in, they treated me well, and asked if she could give me a breathing treatment I shook my head yes. A day later, I was released and told to see the pulmonologist they had referred me to in order to treat my newly discovered COPD and Emphysema.

After returning home, I was to speak with an eye doctor the following day in Du Bois. That night I set my alarm and went to sleep, and then the phone rang. I had overslept and upon answering, I smelled smoke, then the phone went dead.

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All I could think of was my roommate and her safety, I stepped into the hall and it was filled with smoke.

The fire alarm I had installed and tested had been opened and was hanging from the ceiling. I looked to my left and the large fire extinguisher was gone. I had set up zones with fire stations and intercoms.

It was a huge home, twenty-five rooms, so big I got lost in the place my first night there.

Upon smelling the smoke, I managed to get Joy out of her room and down the back stairs; again a fire extinguisher was missing at the lower landing.

I always closed the doors at night and for some reason, Joy opened one of them leading into one of the fireplace rooms.

It was engulfed in flames I quickly grabbed her as she began walking into the fire. I picked her up and carried her out of the side door of and told her to stay outside, I then went back in for my cat Mozart who I could hear crying.

While crawling on the floor the smoke began to overwhelm me, it was too much so I made my way out of the side door.

Joy was burnt; I was also treated for smoke inhalation. The home was a total loss, the insurance company would not issue a contract until I had the home rewired and I had been doing this.

The electrician had been working in my home for two days I just had the lumber yard deliver the wood I special ordered to redo the outside of the home in order to restore it to its original eighteen hundred state.

As Joy and I sat in the back of the ambulance the fire chief told me they could not save the home, I asked about my cat and he remarked Oh your cat is probably toasted by now, how insensitive. After being treated the Red Cross, put us up in a hotel room a day later I rang the fire marshal to inquire as to the cause of the fire.

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When I reached him, he said some very nasty things to me and remarked he would see to it when he was damn ready.

I managed to contact a friend, he and his wife agreed to let us stay at their home for two weeks while we looked for a new house.

A week after the fire I called the marshal, again and again, he went off on me, this time he hung up.

I had enough of this so I called a congressman friend and asked him if he could find out why it was taking so long for the marshal to make a call on the fire.

The marshal rang me a day later and began screaming, wtf is wrong with you now you got Congressman _______ on my ass.

I told him I had enough of his shit and wanted an answer, he said are you getting any money out of this and I responded no, then he said it was a flue fire, he then added I am glad we burnt you out you freak and hung up.

A day later I rang dad to tell him what happened and that, my home phone was no longer in service, as I had no home.

During our conversation, I told him about the fire marshal and he said, what is this person’s name? I am going to look into this I want to know why he said that.

A month later, a friend I had made while rebuilding my home rang me to ask if I heard about that fire marshal.

The one who gave you a rough time. I said why would I care, what my friend said next sent a chill through me, he said because the guy disappeared from his home, had a pot of boiling water on the stove and left his wallet was on the table. A neighbor had come over to return the jerks lawnmower and went looking for him, then called the police. I knew nothing about this or if it was even true, so I disregarded it. I rang my dad a week later to tell him I had found a home to rent, as my stepmother listened in on the extension phone dad said I looked into that marshal, I dinnae think he will be causing trouble in the future.

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I asked no questions finished the conversation and stood there a few minutes by the phone as if I had been frozen.

I care not to share my thoughts on dads possible intervention, but I dinnae think he had anything to do with this man’s disappearance if he did vanish.

I figured out how they got into my home to start the fire. There was a hinged steel plate on the outside in the back; it went to the coal bin.

I had placed a lock on it but it would have been easy to pry the steel plate off the wood. I had no actionable proof after my entire home burnt and there was no evidence.

Insult to injury the firefighters had stolen a thousand dollars’ worth of power tools, after the home burnt all that was left was a shell.

I began to dig through the rubble where my tool room was once located and found only a melted drill. There were no other tools or remnants of them and I dug for three days.

Thousands of dollars worth of tools, new craftsman saw table, Makita combo drill/drivers, Makita corded drill, eight hundred dollars in Craftsman hand tools, Milwaukee reciprocating sawsall, Milwaukee hole-hawg industrial drill, Acetylene B tanks, attachments including turbo tips, pipe cutters, Rigid pipe threader, Rigid pipe wrenches, and a monkey wrench my grandfather gave me when I was fifteen and still more.

I lost expensive musical instruments including one of my prized Gibson Les Paul three pickup SG guitars, as well as a sixty-seven Les Paul, a nineteen sixties Fender Stratocaster. Also lost were my Fender P, Jazz, Mustang, and a nineteen sixtyseven Hofner bass guitars. Ampeg bass amps SVT cab, custom bass and guitar cabs I made. A Traynor, Fender Bassman, Fender Twin, and Vox guitar amps.

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The pedals I lost included an original issue Electro-Harmonix Electric Mistress, memory man, and a Pre Dunlop Arbiter fuzz face.

I also lost recording equipment plus several keyboards including a nineteen sixty-seven Farfisa combo keyboard, Hammond Porta-B, a rare wood cabinet 147 RV Leslie, and my prized M-1 Korg, I was devastated.

I had my savings left and began dipping into that when we relocated.

I also tapped into it a bit of it during my transition, by the time I completed my full transition my savings were gone.

A Hospital visit in the nineteen nineties I suffered two TIAs in the nineties, at which time the then Bedford, Pa hospital balked about admitting me because of my being Transsexual.

Although they did find a room, they made me extremely uncomfortable by not using the proper pronoun.

The nurses mocked, laughed, and made rude statements in my presence and in the hall. Tap-dancin Christ, I was sick show me some compassion or mercy!

UPMC bought this putrid independent excuse for a hospital a few years ago, and things have changed drastically.

In Oct 2014, I was once again a patient, massive kidney failure, a nurse that had worked there before the takeover insulted me at which time I addressed the matter to her quite clearly.

Shortly thereafter, she apologized and further stated that UPMC is an inclusive hospital and that all and everyone is treated fairly and accordingly. Notable Point, there have been LGBTI doctors, administrators and lawyers at UPMC Pittsburgh for decades, including the nineteen nineties.

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Legal note, those having GRS upon admittance to a Hospital still cannot place in a room with another patient like myself, civil rights issue.

Also, note regardless of MTF or FTM sexual re-assignment surgery your medical records will state born male or female.

Disclosure of one's Gender Identity in a hospital is not an insult this may save your life.

I argued this very point with several MTF True Transsexuals in the nineties and was told, all I need to do is take my clothes off, and they know I am a female.

Physically yes, obviously an MTF Transsexual has internal organs that are still male.

In the latter part of the nineties I spoke at Bedford hospital to the nursing staff, that had treated me so badly, after the head of nursing made a remark when referring to me, “we have all kinds of things that go through here” I will spare you my replies except to say this woman cringed a little as I spoke to her.

(See the transsexual/transgender help center at the back of the book the provided links should lead you to the information you can use to protect yourself legally.

Enmity in Hospital Directly after my nasty experience with Bedford Hospital in the nineties, I began speaking publically at hospitals, to staff, nurses, etc. My first stop was Bedford hospital at which I politely called out all of the nurses who had been abusive to me.

I stressed the need for compassion and empathy regarding everyone including Transsexuals and that further demonstrating the dedication to health care for all human beings should be a nurse’s paramount concern.

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When I spoke, I did so in a kind non-condescending manner, I was respectful and answered questions by doing so I was the better person and they knew it.

Nurses today are still not being taught how to address transsexuals with proper respect, many dinnae even have a base knowledge of transsexualism.

Thus, anything including intolerance and insensitivity they may have learned in the past still rests within them.

It is shameful that nurses, who are supposed to dedicate themselves to health care and the healing of others, choose to be intolerant and hateful to the True Transsexual their actions place a black mark on the health care system.

Transsexuals become aware of such practitioners and so those endorsing such indifference.

I know this I lived a nightmare for thirteen days while I was in a Cumberland, Maryland Hospital in two thousand and nine. I was recovering from an emergency surgery involving my lungs.

Mind you, it still said born male on my medical records and will until I die I dinnae dispute this, as it may save my life.

However, having this fact used to assault me is criminal. The state and the federal government have a large say in what takes place in health care facilities and by the facilities employees.

They have the power to launch an investigation into these matters. After all, when they are paying the insurance bills for any patient and separately granting state and federal aid to said facilities they hold the purse strings.

My very calm and reserved family member took charge, while I was on morphine. She told the staff in no other words that they are shameful examples of the practice of nursing.

The head of the nursing staff confronted her trying to minimize the damage by saying, “we are just a country hospital� to wit she replied all of you are required to meet the same standards under the law as any other nurse in America.

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Now, what is your excuse? It did not end there suffice to say when I was discharged I began speaking with people I knew, politicians, etc.

Today many of Americas Healthcare facilities including Hospitals are now accommodating Transsexual people.

Except for the aforementioned hospital, during my thirteenday recovery, they gave me sepsis, which nearly killed me, as I was so weak, to begin with.

I would rather die in my home than to be taken to that miserable place ever again.

Real Name: The hospital was known as Sacred Heart located on SEATON DRIVE in Cumberland, Maryland.

It has since relocated itself across the street from Allegany College in Cumberland, Maryland. I believe it is now called Western Maryland Healthcare. If you are a Transsexual or LGBTQI person I suggest you avoid this hospital at all cost.

Another hospital visit In Oct 2014, I had suffered sudden and massive kidney failure I found myself at the same hospital only this time it was owned by the University Of Pennsylvania Medical Center. They admitted me and once in my room a nurse that had worked there before the takeover insulted me. I addressed this quite clearly. I was in agony and now I am pished beyond pisstivity. Here I am again in a place of healing being harmed.

She returned to my room later and apologized. She further stated that UPMC is an inclusive hospital and that all and everyone is treated fairly.

I said if you knew this why in the hell did you disrespect me?

She looked at me shook her head and left the room.

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Today's positive steps toward inclusive health care we are adopting non-discrimination policies. While there are a growing number of inclusive health care professionals and facilities there is a need for more inclusion.

This can only be achieved through positive and productive dialogue and a base realization that every individual on earth should be treated equally, regardless of the political or religious views.

I have personally spoken with both doctors and nurses who have expressed a positive cause. I remember one doctor telling me he became a physician because a family member had died during their childhood because they were poor and of a different faith, there was no adequate inclusive health care.

I expressed my deepest sadness for this person’s loss only to once again say a silent prayer that my directors who are also my executors do not have to face such antipathy and bias.

Nonetheless, there are health care facilities as well as physicians across America today that practice discrimination and bigotry while using religion as a shield.

The narrow-minded shit fir brains sub-versional espousers of such loathsome character that continually cherry pick their magical tomes, to thereby condemning their victims. Leviticus is one of their Christ-hating Christians books. They know so little about their own religion and to hear them rant is as if you are listening to wandering idiot absent of all reason.

Plainly speaking Leviticus is of the tribe of Levite. Christians have no business cherry picking the Old Testament that is the book of the Hebrews.

I dinnae see Jewish people lined up on the malls holding signs saying God hates fags, I have yet to see a Jew refuse service to anyone based on their own religious freedom.

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I have yet to see an Islamic individual holding these same signs demanding others to live in accordance with their religion, and still that Christ-hating false Christians feel they are superior to all others and their respective religions.

News flash, yo still gotta wash yo ass!

This Sharia law rumor being spread by fear-mongering buffoons are the ramblings of emotionally disturbed individuals with deep seeded psychological issues.

There is one ethnic group of people who run the United States, nothing happens in American without their say so.

This group of individuals will not permit anyone to jeopardize their power base or financial interest. They will reign down fire and brimstone to stop it before it begins.

Health Care for the Transsexual If you Transsexual or Transgender or know of a Transsexual in need of health care you may wish to view this link

http://www.glma.org/ I dinnae know much about them, therefore, I can not attest to the quality and degree of the services. However, I do feel it is a positive starting point.

I also suggest this link as well and I do know they can be of help.

http://transequality.org/issues/resources/transgenderhealthcare-insurance-laws (Also, visit the back of the books Transsexual/Transgender help section where this are additional links and information.)

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What’s the difference between Transsexual and Transgender? Blurring the lines Expert Q&A https://www.psychiatry.org/patientsfamilies/gender-dysphoria/expert-q-and-a To begin with, the clinical definition of Transsexual is based solely on Gender Identity, Dysphoria, whereas the majority of Transgender individuals are not Transsexuals.

When I transitioned in the nineteen-nineties, I was taught by professionals in the field of Gender sciences that Gender Identity (Dysphoria) and Sexual Orientation are completely different from one another.

In the attempt to create, one size fits all term the lines have been blurred to the public and many Transsexuals such as me who strongly disagree with Gender Dysphoria being shoved under the supercilious Transgender umbrella.

Even the non-surgical Transsexuals are not two-spirit, cis gender-birth and mind gender are one and same, asexual, pansexual, bigender, third gender, and so forth.

I know the terms Transman and Transwoman were created as a divisive measure fed to the Transsexual today propounded to be an inclusive term and I find this to be provocative.

The term Transgender opened the floodgates for those proclaimed to be transgender to automatically be included in the once small circle of True Transsexuals.

What I also find troubling is the Transgender term being used by individuals to self-define themselves without evaluation and diagnosis through the medical community as I and other True Transsexuals have done.

The comparative is a Pandora’s Box, a veritable cornucopia of self-diagnosed individuals that have no right to call themselves a Transsexual. They are a detriment and a hazard to the Transsexual and Transgender communities.

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If you recall the story of Pandora, you would remember that the only thing remaining at the bottom of the jar after she had unleashed its contents was hope.

Hope is something that human beings embrace as a means of comfort. However, hope is always a future tense; you may hope in five minutes things change and so forth.

The use of the word Transgender is filled with the hope that Transsexuals will surrender and so adopt this term to describe themselves. The use of the term Transgender by many in the medical community when referring to the Transsexuals, in my opinion, demonstrates a blatant disregard and a badger to the face.

This is done so by way of non-recognition of the Transsexual as being unique and distinguishable in the fact that the True Transsexuals Gender Dysphoria once clinically recognized as Gender Identity Disorder, as Transsexualism is not a sexual orientation issue but rather, in fact, a Dysphoria issue, and I hope you understand the difference.

This link validates my objection to the term Transgender. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender • The terms pansexual, omnisexual, fluid and queeridentified are regarded as falling under the umbrella term bisexual (and therefore are considered a part of the bisexual community). Likewise, the terms transsexual and intersex are regarded by some people as falling under the umbrella term transgender, though many transsexual and intersex people object to this me included.

• Agender / genderless • Androgyne • Bigender (bi-gender) • Cisgender/cissexual • Genderqueer / non-binary • Hijra • Pangender [75]

• Queer heterosexuality • Third gender / Third sex • Trans man • Trans woman • Trigender (tri-gender) • Two-Spirit Transsexuals are uncomfortable with their birth gender thus many, not all seek to correct their birth defect.

Note the Benjamin scale at no time refers to or defines the Transsexual as being Transgender.

After reading the scale, I hope you are able to understand my point of the differences.

The Harry Benjamin Gender Disorientation Scale also references Doctor Alfred Kinsey’s Sexual Orientation Scale.

It should be noted that Dr. Kinsey’s' scale makes direct reference to various intensities of homosexuality.

Whereas Doctor Benjamin’s’' scale does not at any time establish a relationship between homosexuality and Gender Identity, Gender Dysphoria.

Thereby and further debunking the myths and lies that Transsexuals are primarily homosexuals when in fact the majority of True Transsexuals are heterosexual, not homosexual. http://genderpsychology.org/transsexual/benjamin_gd.html It should be further understood that not all True Transsexuals seek or have surgery, one such reason being financial and there are others defined by intensity on the Harry Benjamin scale.

Here are the aforementioned TOPICs as so stated through the wiki link I spoke of some time ago. Agender/ genderless, Neutrious, Bi-Gender, Cisgender/ cissexual, Gender-queer, Hijra, Pangender/ Queer Heterosexuality/ Third Gender/Third Sex/ Trans-Man/ Trans-woman/ Tri Gender/ Two Spirit. Not one of these Terms, (topics) or their definitions has ever applied to me because I was diagnosed as an intense Transsexual.

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[I was successfully treated for my Gender dysphoria, released and have no further need of care.] There are several who have argued with me quite unsuccessfully in the multiple proclamations claiming Transwomen and Transmen are in fact, Transsexual.

I am told now that it’s been around a bit longer, yet I am unsure of when Transgender was adopted clinically as being descript of Transsexual, by many in the medical field as well those in the Transsexual community. Important note: the terms Transgender and Transsexual are currently being used side by side at surgical sites (GRS etc.)

An individual asserting the term Transgender as now being inclusive of Transsexuals told me directly that the American Psychiatric Association had amended the clinical description of Transsexual.

The APA had changed the diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder to Gender Dysphoria. In twenty-seventeen the APA removed Gender Dysphoria from DSM5.

I have found no proof of term Transgender replacing the term Transsexual and when.

At this time, the individual further stated that the term Transgender is an incorporative term of all gender-related issues, thus it has been so placed, or shall I say shoved under the umbrella term that was now alleged to be representative of the Transsexual. She identified herself as being MTF Transgender, not enrolled in a Gender Dysphoria evaluation program, never had been in a program and further stating she was the third gender and that made her Transsexual. Transgender does represent a third gender validating my point that the clinical term Transsexual is unique and has no place under the Transgender umbrella.

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It is my understanding that the Transsexual is not exclusive and completely inclusive in the gender variant category, as gender variant individuals as those who express gender nonconformity, that they may later define themselves as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual. The academics are in dispute as to the accuracies of the related studies.

I now offer you an example of the differences between the gender variant and the Transsexual, or the adopted term Transgender. Note the term gender variant and Transgender (Transsexual) are stated as separate issues on many of the documents titles.

Please use the link below from the American Psychiatric Association. I would ask you to take your time and study this document. http://www.apa.org/about/policy/transgender.aspx

The Differences, Sexual Orientation, and Gender Identity.

Sexual orientation pertains to whom you want to have sex with.

Gender identity pertains to who you are; this applies to heterosexuals as their physical and mental gender match, whereas the transsexuals do not.

Thusly the Transsexual stepping out of denial eventually seeks professional help to correct their physical birth defect, as someone else would have been born without an arm or leg.

The Transsexual falls into the Gender Identity category as the Transsexual individual defines themselves according to who they truly are. Gender Identity does not apply to the Intersexual individual.

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http://www.intersexinitiative.org/articles/gid.html Gender expression pertains to how we humans go about expressing our identity.

An interesting fact is that those who are straight (heterosexual), aka cisgender, fall under the Sexual Orientation Umbrella because they prefer sex with the opposite sex. Now ain't that a kick in the pants?

This APA link explains and validates my statements. http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/sexualitydefinitions.pdf Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation are as different as Apples and Grapefruits

Furthermore My paramount concern with regard to this publication is the Transsexual.

If I may remind you, once again the Benjamin scale at no time uses the term Transgender, the term Transsexual is used.

Yet many in the medical community have adopted the Transgender umbrella term however a Transsexual is not a Transgender person according to the standards of care I was taught in the nineteen nineties.

If someone steps into a doctors’ office for the first time and fills out intake forms denoting sex as transgender what is the doctor to think if he or she has no clue as to whether or not you are a Transsexual. This places doctors and nurses in a query.

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Sound confusing, yes it does. I am going to say the medical professional use of the term Transgender is applicable in nonTranssexual diagnosis.

However, the Transgender term is being used alongside the Transsexual term by some SRS aka GRS surgeons.

Again, many Transgender individuals claim that the diagnosis terminology has changed to wit I say their assertions are based in adopted terminology that has blurred the lines between Transsexual and Transgender.

Transsexual, I am sure you will agree this is a bit confusing. http://www.medicaldaily.com/what-difference-betweentranssexual-and-transgender-facebooks-new-version-itscomplicated-271389 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual The DSM terminology and designations may have changed, the Harry Benjamin scale has not, as to matters of diagnosis and defining Transsexualism.

If you have any doubt look at the Topics again, do you think that a gender variant bi-sexual or two-spirit person eagerly pursues the correcting of a birth defect by means of GRS? Wonder why the kind inquisitive everyday person seeking knowledge, truths, and understandings with regarding the True Transsexual are confused?

If I entered a hospital then and now the term, for a Transsexual is Transsexual, not Transgender.

A nurse at a hospital once referred to me as Transgender and I politely corrected her. She thanked me and asks me the difference and I told her.

At one time Transsexuals used symbols much the same as military insignia in order to recognize one and another. In nineteen ninety-nine at a social event in Phila, Pa several asked me why a GG, Gender Girls born with female body and mind, would be wearing a pin and to their shock, I said I am a Transsexual.

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There was but one symbol known to me to be associated with the Transsexual in nineteen ninety-five.

Public confusion, Transvestites and Crossdressers These individuals wear clothing usually worn by people of the opposite biological sex. They do not, however, identify themselves as having a gender identity different from their biological sex or gender role. The motivations for cross-dressing vary, but most transvestites enjoy cross-dressing and may experience sexual excitement from it. The vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual. http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm

Transgender and Transsexual symbols Transsexual and Transgender symbolism…..

Let it be understood that I do not wrap myself in any flag. I have a Transsexual pin that was a gift. I have only worn this a few times I dinnae wear a symbol to define me because I sure as hell know who I am.

The first symbol below is strictly for use by the Transsexual and this is an established fact. Let the confusion begin. http://gendertalk.com/info/tgsymbol.shtml Here is a quote from the abouve link.

“WHERE’D IT COME FROM? “Don’t blame me, I didn’t invent it. Holly Boswell, in North Carolina, drew it for Wendy Parker, who drew it for me and suggested that I do something with it on my computer. Ever the gullible puppy, I agreed to make a pin of it.

I made it of soft shapes, to connote gentility, accommodation, permission. I placed it on a lavender triangle cause it’s time we, the cross-dressing – transsexual – transgender community, took a stand in support of the gay community. I chose bright blue for strength, and because I liked the way it looked.

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I showed the design to as many folks as I could, and they all said “We like it. Go for it.”

Note: The quote below. ”I placed it on a lavender triangle cause it’s time we,

the cross-dressing – transsexual – transgender community, Took a stand in support of the gay community.”

This quote is made by the author Nancy is misleading in the fact that the True Transsexual is not a crossdresser. It’s accurate to say the statement was designed to misdirect the public into thinking that a crossdresser is a Transsexual.

No doubt, Nancy a self-proclaimed crossdresser created the dialog first affirms this as she places her crossdressing first.

Please note the words” ’cause it’s time we, the cross-dressing – transsexual – transgender community, took a stand in support of the gay community.

The Gay community has little in common with the Transsexual community other than equal rights and oppression.

A Transsexual is defined by their Gender Identity whereas the Homosexual just like the Heterosexual individuals are defined by their sexual orientation.

Sexual orientation is about who you want to have sex with. Gender Identity (The Transsexual) is a statement of who you are as a human being.

Once again, the public is confused by misrepresentation of the Transsexual, not Transgender.

Here are nineteen ninety-five examples by way of a book written by Sheila Kirk M.D and Martine Rothblatt, J.D. The Books title is Medical, Legal, and Workplace issues for the Transsexual.

Sheila gave me a signed copy of this book when it was published in 1995; she later wrote me a personal letter.

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Martine and Shelia have considerably more credibility and are much more authoritative in their statements as they are not lay people like Holly Bosworth, Wendy Parker, and crossdresser Nancy R. Nangeroni.

Nancy used Holly’s concept to generate a design and final product. Martine and Shelia are selling truth and facts, not team logos.

The purple Triangle was given and presented to me during my transition in nineteen ninety-five.

If the assertions being made by Nancy whose dialog is “Where Did it Come From” why then is the clinical term Transsexual and only the term Transsexual used in Martine and Sheila’s book title and throughout the book without a mention of Transgender?

During my transition, the symbol below was used to identify one’s self as Transsexual, not Transgender.

In nineteen ninety-nine, long after my completed transition, the Transgender pride flag was created by Monica Helms.

The flag was first displayed in Phoenix, Arizona pride celebration in the year two thousand. Therefore, the lines were blurred obscuring the differences between Transgender and Transsexual.

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Next is the Alternate Transgender Flag was flown in Ottawa, Canada at the two thousand and ten Transgender Day of remembrance. This day has been set aside for Transsexuals who had been murdered in that year. There is that word Transgender again.

Here is yet another symbol for the Transsexual, not Transgender.

There is no debate with me over the accurate representation and presentation of the Transsexual. As I said earlier on, terminology may have changed but truth and fact have not.

The only way I would be accepting of any symbol regarding the Transsexual would be a Transsexual, not Transgender, individual design a symbol exclusively representative of the Transsexual, not the Transgender community.

There are currently over seventy-six symbols worldwide representing Transgender individuals. There are only two symbols known to me that represent the Transsexual.

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This article was written by Suzan X3/17/2012 Transgender Borg Passive Aggressive.

I just love it when a transgender, particularly someone who pulls out the Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Dalai Lama pacifist number, engages in this particularly nasty act of passive aggressiveness.

Many of you no doubt have heard it or been subject to it, particularly if you are a post-transsexual woman who has “abandoned the community” i.e. avoids the Transgender Borg like the plague.

If one of the Borg figures out you are one of those evil “transsexual elitist/separatists”, who considers the “Community” to be filled with self-destructive folks with bad habits like substance abuse and street prostitution…

Or a culture that has little appeal like drag shows and fashion obsession…

Then the dialogue proceeds as follows: Yadda, yadda… Of course, I support hate crimes laws and trans-inclusive ENDA, non-discrimination laws etc.

But I’ve grown far beyond where I was when I had SRS many years ago. I have other causes that I’m more involved in, I was never involved all that much in the Transgender Culture because I was involved in other scenes etc.…

This goes through the Transgender Borg jargon translator machine and results in the poor pathetic little cult member guilt bombing you with: “So you’ve got your surgery and now it’s fuck off for all those poor unfortunate folks who don’t.”

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“I don’t understand how you can be so callous as to not want to devote your entire life and being to the helping of your poor victim Transgender Borg sisters oh um and brothers?”

It may be cold on my part but I had sex reassignment surgery to deal with a very personal problem of having been born transsexual. I had hopes and dreams that didn’t involve obsessing on transsexualism. Those dreams didn’t involve becoming an unpaid social-worker/missionary for the majorly dysfunctional Transgender Community.

Once upon a time, transsexuals had sex change operations to integrate into the world of women or men as the case might be. Now days instead of actually becoming part of women as a class, or men as a class, one is expected to celebrate one’s glorious “gender variance”.

Say what? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with the reasons I had a sex change operation.

If one has their surgery and moves on because they can and because life is easier if you leave your t-shirt that proclaims your transsexual history in the memory trunk rather than wearing it and getting in people’s face about your history; well then you are guilty of exercising “passing privilege.”

Well Yeah… Da… What you have snidely labeled “passing privilege” is being an ordinary woman or man and is the whole fucking point of getting SRS. But we never say that because we’re really nice… Well actually no…

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We don’t throw that extra Molotov because we’ve learned that if we do hordes of bizarre transgender hungry ghosts will haunt us for months, comment bombing our blogs and trashing us on their blogs.

Those of us who have been there and done that know what predictable passive-aggressive club will be used next.

The one that goes: “I hope you never find yourself beaten and bleeding to death on some dark corner because some transphobe read you and decided to cut your throat.”

Gee… Nice one. I just love the way you wrapped that nasty little piece of hate in a warm fuzzy concern blanket.

I had a pretty neat mom, she was realistic enough about who I was as a kid to teach me to be afraid of being alone on dark street corners and to be extra careful about men I might say yes to. Then because I more or less shunned Transworld while I was coming out I had natal women friends drive those same lessons home.

Then I had an incident, which I was a knife-edge away from being murdered.

I learned. I studied martial arts and learned. I carried weapons both legal and sometimes illegal. But mostly I learned to avoid danger.

But along the way, I learned a few other vitally important self-defense skills. One of those is the ability to recognize con games and manipulation.

There is something exceedingly nasty about Transgender Borg passive-aggression.

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It has some of the worst sex/gender stereotypes this side of the Men’s Rights Movement and it plays on emotional blackmail.

Then the TG Borg guilt trip post-transsexual women who call them on their bullshit.

Note from the author. I placed this piece in the book because I could not have said them better myself.

Suzan’s views as conveyed in her article mirror my own in many ways.

Will there be photos of you in the book?

There are no personal photos of me in Through the Darkness. I withheld these as I wanted those who read the book to put their own faces and or those of loved ones on the articles.

I am told I am quite beautiful to look at, nevertheless, physical beauty fades the most important part of my life is my family and being a decent and compassionate person.

I said nothing of tolerant. I am not going to tolerate anyone's abuse.

The Transsexual/Transgender subculture I feel today's Transsexuals are being falsely portrayed through the ignorance and contravention of individuals who falsely present them in a manner that paints the true Transsexual as some twisted cult cartoon, custom built to suit the egoeccentrically neurosis of those seeking to harm the Transsexual.

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The term Transgender (Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld has been credited with the term Transgender and his studies talked about Gender Identity mind you this is back in the 1920's) Over a decade ago the Transsexual term was phased out and although some GRS, SRS, etc. Surgeons use the term Transsexual they also tend to place the Transgender term next to it.

(IMHO this is one of the worst things to ever happen to the Transsexual) The Transgender umbrella terminology has expanded to encompass so much I find the ambiguity troubling.

Thusly the Transgender term continues to blur the lines by obscuring the vast differences between the Transsexual and the one size fits all Transgender term, well one size does not fit all.

Many Transgender individuals do not present clinically as a Transsexual, by use of the Transgender term it enables disingenuous individuals to embed themselves in Transgender communities. These same individuals then claim to be Transsexual when they are not in treatment and have not been diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, or as myself have completed transition thereby doing harm to the True Transsexual. They do however wreak havoc within the LGBT community at times.

The Transgender Umbrella enables the pretender to remain safely in the Transgender community.

A community that has become so diverse the majority of it has less than nothing to do with representing the Transsexual’s goals and issues than a duck has need of a motorcycle.

Every time I hear a self-proclaiming Transgender person say in the course of conversation “Hello Trans here" I cringe.

The majority, not all, a few are Transsexuals, of these individuals by their actions alone continually misrepresent the Transsexual thus creating a negative public image of the Transsexual. With the public, a picture speaks a thousand words.

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Should one who knows nothing about Transsexualism look at the photos of the individuals making these false assertions on a Facebook page they may form a negative opinion.

This would be based on many of the outrageous photographic and written examples further misrepresenting the Transsexual.

Said actions of these individuals can be a detriment to the Transsexual and those in the open-minded public seeking accurate knowledge, did I say public.

This negative stereotype may also find its way into the lives of those who have completed the transition process like me.

Should it become necessary for one to disclose their Gender Identity it may cause a significant problem for the individual they are speaking with as well the stealth Transsexual themselves? Not everyone in the public is ignorant and hateful as many are quite open to the Transsexual, they may have questions and as long as they are tasteful I would answer them.

Please note I said Transsexual, not Transgender.

Nevertheless, such disclosure by a Transsexual and or Transgender individual does not warrant their being abused by anyone at any time regardless of any bullshit reason given because abusing anyone has no justification. The moment someone starts quoting the bible the conversation ends because I leave.

In closing, removing the separate and unique status that distinguishes the differences between the Transsexual and the Transgender continues to do more harm than good.

Transphobia within the Trans community.

Internalized Transphobia has long been our communities 'elephant in the room something that virtually all of us an experience to varying degrees at some point in our journey, but something many of us finds extremely difficult to recognize, openly acknowledge and/or speak openly about with other Trans people.

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This is an incredibly important issue for our community because all too often Internalized Transphobia is the single biggest impediment for us as individuals in learning to love ourselves and to fully embrace the fact that we are worthy of the love of others Laverne Cox wrote this wonderful op-ed about Internalized Transphobia back in 2011 (here http://huff.to/1LTsRkl ) and said something we wholeheartedly agree with “I don't think we're going to be able to fully come together as a community politically until each of us can confront our own internalized transphobia and how it affects how we treat ourselves and each other:” Laverne was referring to the degree to which Internalized Transphobia can often play a major role in the degree to which many of us struggle to find commonality with other Tran’s people whose identities or lifestyle choices don’t reflect their own.

CRMT Director Kelly Glanney has been speaking publically about Internalized Transphobia and the part it plays in both the mental health crisis our community is currently experiencing for many years.

One such occasion was at the 2014 Australian and New Zealand Professional Association for Transgender Health where Kelly discussed the role Internalized Transphobia plays in much of the Lateral Hostility ( http://on.fb.me/1GhhnEB) we all too often see between Transgender individuals and groups (see video here http://bit.ly/1PQ24ED) Internalized Transphobia refers to negative feelings that we have developed towards ourselves and/or other trans or gender non conforming people as we struggle to come to terms with our own gender variance or difference.

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These feelings take many forms and can vary from low-level feelings of shame, denial, or feeling as if others are judging us harshly, right through to literally hating ourselves and/or other Trans, Intersex, and other gender diverse people.

Internalized Transphobia is a form of Internalized Oppression, the name given to the psychological processes via which a member (or members) of an oppressed or marginalized social group comes to accept and live out inaccurate myths and stereotypes applied to the group by its oppressors.

When finding ourselves marginalized/stigmatized/oppressed over extended periods of time, we begin to absorb or internalize many of the myths and negative stereotypes which the oppressive dominant culture perpetuates about us.

Over time, consciously or not, as we're repeatedly bombarded with negative messages about ourselves from the dominant culture in which we live, we come to believe some of those messages. They become part of our own worldview – informing both the way we see ourselves and becoming the prism through which we view others – especially other Tran’s people The factors which cause Internalized Transphobia are complex but in many ways very similar to those which make cisgender people transphobic or homophobic.

We aren't born hating ourselves or hating other people who are different – these are primarily learned behaviors and beliefs which we develop over time in a response to various stimuli As Trans people, many of us have grown up in a world surrounded by ideas, ideologies and messaging that reinforces the idea that being Trans is abnormal, disgusting, shameful – that being Trans is some form of sexual perversion – that failing to conform to traditional conservative norms of sex and gender makes us less than human.

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When we internalized those ideas when, consciously or not, these toxic ideas get absorbed into our own belief and value systems, it often makes it very difficult for us to like ourselves or to like other Trans people. If we're unaware of how much these toxic ideas are influencing our emotions and perspectives, internalized Transphobia can make us prone to depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behaviors.

Internalized transphobia manifests itself in varying ways and over time can seriously undermine our sense of well being and mental health. Some examples include: 01. Denial of your gender and/or sexual orientation to yourself and others.

02. Attempts to alter or change your gender identity and/or sexual orientation.

03. Constantly self-doubt - feeling you are never good enough.

04. Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive behaviors.

05. Under-achievement, procrastination or alternatively constantly striving to over-achieve in a bid for acceptance.

06. Low self-esteem, negative body image.

07. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the LGBT community.

08. Contempt for gender questioning people or those still in the early stages of transition.

09. Denial that transphobia, heterosexism, biphobia or sexism are serious social problems.

10. Contempt for those that are not like ourselves and/or contempt for those who seem like ourselves. Sometimes distancing ourselves from other LGBTIQ people by engaging (consciously or not) in homophobic or transphobic behaviors – ridicule, harassment, verbal or physical attacks on LGB people or other Trans and Intersex people.

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11. Projection of prejudice onto another target group.

12. Becoming psychologically abused or abusive or remaining in an abusive relationship.

13. Attempts to pass as cisgender and/or heterosexual, sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social approval or in hope of ‘being cured’.

14. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives.

15. Shame or depression; defensiveness; anger or bitterness.

16. School truancy or dropping out of school. Also, workplace absenteeism or reduced productivity.

17. Continual self-monitoring of one’s behaviors, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.

18. Clowning as a way of acting out society’s negative stereotypes.

19. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community leaders or opinion leaders.

20. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for fear of being seen as a pedophile.

21. Conflicts with the law.

22. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking behaviors-including risk for HIV and other STIs. 23. Separating sex and love, or fear of intimacy. Sometimes low or lack of sexual drive or celibacy.

24. Substance abuse, including drink and drugs.

25. Thinking about suicide, attempting suicide or committing suicide.

Whether we realize it or not, we’re often deeply hurt and affected by all of the self-doubt, hate, and discrimination we experience as Trans people. It’s never a conscious choice to live with Internalized Transphobia, but we definitely have to make a conscious choice to change it That change can begin by making contact with a local support group.

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Interesting read from Jessica Nuaimi https://prezi.com/ej37b81_unhp/transgender-as-deviance/

How to spot a Transsexual and Transgender online troll. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/how-to-spotantitrans-con_b_8055816.html I suggest that everyone read this carefully as those who are Transsexual will find information to invalidate the current lies being floated by the media, politicians and the clergy. This will also be of great use to one wishing to understand the Transsexual/ Transgender as it also points to other issues such as Transvestites, female impersonators, drag queens etc. http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html

Recent Inserts.

Scientist discover genes linked to Trans individuals. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article5516745/amp/Scientists-uncover-20-geneslinked-transgender.html Transsexual gene http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7689007.stm Transsexual brains https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20032transsexual-differences-caught-on-brain-scan/

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Transgender Brain. https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/03/16/struct ural-brain-differences-for-transgenderpeople/133802.html Everyday life and relationships.

Beware the Personality Disorders The Transsexual and or Transgender individual should be aware and cautionary of individuals such as this all the times.

Those who are fake Christians are perhaps the most threatening but I have met worse. You will meet many of these people online, my advice is dinnae engage them in an argument. Once they begin to rant and name-call, anything you say will fuel their fire, so walk away. These individuals have no empathy, no compassion, no conscience, no remorse, and no care for harming their victims. Should you encounter one in public be aware many are capable of extreme physical violence! http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/2015/11/02/how-to-spot-aperson-with-a-toxic-personality-disorder/ http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-cluster-b/ http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-histrionicpersonality-disorder/ http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-a-narcopath/ http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/2016/01/17/daily-word-searchreminder-read-more-about-narcissistic-abuse/

The Mythical Transsexual Child Molester lie.

This is but one of the vulgar lies being used as a justification to hate and harm transsexuals.

The molestation accusation is not only patently false it is a bald-faced lie spouted by uneducated momes.

I have found no evidence to support the claims that a child living with a true transsexual parent or being in the company of a true transsexual was sexually molested by a transsexual.

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The majority of pedophiles are straight men and women. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Pedophilia.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_dysphoria http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx Let me say this, the gay and Tran’s men and the women I know would beat the living shit out of anyone trying to molest a child.

Related material on Pedophilia BOOKS American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The fourth edition, text revised. Washington DC: American Psychiatric Association, 2000.

Gelder, Michael, Richard Mayou, and Philip Cowen. Shorter Oxford Textbook of Psychiatry. 4th ed. New York: Oxford University Press, 2001.

Wilson, Josephine F. Biological Foundations of Human Behavior. New York: Harcourt, 2002.

PERIODICALS Berlin, F. S. "Treatments to change sexual orientation." American Journal of Psychiatry 157, no. 5 (2000): 838-839.

Cohen, L. J., and others. "Impulsive personality traits in male pedophiles versus healthy controls: Is pedophilia an impulsiveaggressive disorder?" Comprehensive Psychiatry 43, no. 2 (2002): 127-134.

Hill, S. A. "The man who claimed to be a pedophile." Journal of Medical Ethics 26, no. 2 (2000): 137-138.

O'Donohue, W., L. G. Regev, and A. Hagstrom. "Problems with the DSM-IV diagnosis of pedophilia.� Sexual Abuse 12, no. 2 (2000): 95-105.

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ORGANIZATIONS American Academy of Family Physicians. 11400 Tomahawk Creek Parkway, Leawood, KS 66211-2672. Phone: (913) 9066000. Web site: <http://www.aafp.org> .

American Academy of Pediatrics. 141 Northwest Point Boulevard, Elk Grove Village, IL 60007-1098. Telephone: (847) 434-4000. Fax: (847) 434-8000. Web site: <http://www.aap.org/default.htm> .

American Medical Association. 515 N. State Street, Chicago, IL 60610. Telephone: (312) 464-5000. Web site: <http://www.amaassn.org> .

American Psychiatric Association. 1400 K Street NW, Washington, DC 20005. Telephone: (888) 357-7924. Fax :( 202) 682-6850.

American Psychological Association. 750 First Street NW, Washington, DC, 20002-4242. Phone: (800) 374-2721 or (202) 336-5500. Web site: <http://www.apa.org> .

L. Fleming Fallon, Jr., M.D., Dr.P.H. Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/ObPs/Pedophilia.html#ixzz43qZtxCUe

Transsexual/ Transgender a target for the sexual sadist. http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Sexual-sadism.html

The Homophobe Guess who is aroused by homosexual acts. https://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014 http://www.philosophyreligion.org/handouts/homophobia.htm

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Transphobia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transphobia http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/ http://mypage.direct.ca/h/hrp/gendertr.html

The mental illness and behavioral disorders of Transphobes.

Here are a few disorders, pay close attention to the behavioral descriptions.

Narcissists, Machiavellians, Psychopaths, Everyday Sadists http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissisticpersonality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568 http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personalitydisorders/basics/symptoms/con-20030111 http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderlinepersonality-disorder/index.shtml https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-murder-andthe-meaning-life/201412/the-four-dark-personality-traits

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not always about religion.

1. The scenarios bigot. If someone starts off by saying I identify, {for instance}, as a dog, car, tractor, car, toaster, they are without a doubt ignorant and a bigot and quite possibly a Christian bigot. Please do not engage these dobbers in conversation they only wish to pick a fight.

2. The self- righteous. Bible Scripture bigot. It is my life experience that anyone who quotes a Bible to you has a nasty agenda and odds are you are their target.

3. The I have the facts right here, bigot. Anyone quoting McHughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s opinions or citing research in Sweden is hoping you did not read the truth about the right winger McHugh, or the Swedish study.

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Anything else that comes out of their mouth is a lie as well.

Generally, these types skulk around camouflaged as concern trolls or fishermen and women, they throw a question out there and the moment you answer they pounce. Please do not waste your time on them.

4. The let me tell you I am a doctor, lawyer or Indian chief bigots and haters, you should see right through them merely by looking at their vocabulary.

5. The, we should kill all Tranâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s people, or I will kill you psychotic hater. Notify the website and if the threat is directed at you call the police at once!

6. Those that incessantly rain on everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feckin parade.

Transsexuals are just one of their targets, anyone who comes into contact with one of these monsters whether it be web, email, publically, and or privately they will make every moment you are with them a living hell.

The more insecure tend to see everyone as inferior and beneath them. They are in a class all by themselves, if you come into contact with one your only option is to run.

Lastly, do not fret about the jerks online for in reality they would never dare to say anything to you in public and if you should address one personally they would probably pish their breeks.

Living dangerously romance and truth.

Several of the Transsexuals I have met over the years, I only know of three, and even as a public figure, I have tried to maintain a deeply private life which is now becoming more difficult since my disclosure last year.

Nonetheless, these individuals went about matters of the heart in a way that may have cost them their lives.

I attempted to explain this and was told I dinnae know their situation.

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In these matters, I have more common sense and more respect for those I may have become involved with because I placed, honor, honesty, trust, and truth abouve all else.

The worst thing a woman can do to a man is make a fool of him; before I permitted anyone to hold my hand I told them in a kind way about myself. I dinnae want to begin any relationship with deception especially when I was speaking of matters of the heart. Aside from this, you lied to yourself and lived in denial of who you truly are for years, and then you sought professional help. What was the point if you are going to turn around and lie about yourself again to gain favor with someone in a relationship you know is doomed to fail because of your deception!

Yes, I had met men and no I was not looking for them, some wanted only to hook up.

There were others who sought a vulgar relationship for some sick twisted reasons and there were those who left before I let them as much as hug me. Two of these men thanked me for being so honest a third just loved me, and so he asked me to marry him and I said yes. He died less than a year later of cancer; he hid his illness from me as we lived apart.

Treasure every moment with someone you love!

Honesty, respect, truth, and trust make a relationship strong, deception and lies by not revealing your past will bring you nothing but tears, and pain.

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A Myth and a Lie about Marriage As to the question of transsexuals or homosexuals marrying their dog or a fish, marriage has been conveniently defined as a contract between two consenting human adults, sanctioned by a deity, deity does not automatically equal organized religion.

Guess who inserted the deity!

The issue is totally irrelevant simply because not all people practice organized religion. Two examples would be the legal authority of a magistrate or judge to perform marriages. Deity itself is not state or government defined to do that would be unconstitutional.

This matter is between you and your deity if you have one.

Transsexuals can marry, after GRS, and since the recognition of equal rights, as guaranteed by the 14th amendment post-op, Transsexual women and men can remain married to their spouses. Many spouses continue to live side by side as best friends after all if they were not friends why did they get married in the first place.

More to the point why did they get married at all if you were not a best friend and please donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell me it was about sex.

You have as much chance in my believing that as you would have had buttering a Cougars erse in a phone booth on a hot summer day. I have seen no evidence supporting the claims that Canada or any nation recognizing same-sex marriage has been petitioned by anyone in order to marry a feckin farm animal; the suggestion is revolting.

Really now? What is the pathology of someone who even thinks in such terms?

What manner of low creatures goes about daily life with such ugly things eating at their grape-sized brains? Tap dancin Jesus keep them away from the sheep, can I get an amen on that?

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If you would like to know more about Transgender and Transsexual individuals go to the link below and hit the ninth topic.” How do transsexuals make a gender transition?” http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx

Gender Definitions important read. http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm

Q: Are Transsexuals gay.

A: Anyone can be gay.

Transsexual Exploitation I will not address the issue of Transsexual porn industry, except to say it has presented yet another false image and negative example to the public’s perception of the Transsexual.

Ask yourself why are upstanding Hetero Christian Citizens watching (not transsexual as it may be called) Gay porn? Makes ya think, doesn’t it? . Although some Transsexuals are driven to sex work as a means of survival, generally speaking, the majority are not.

The “did you have sex” question This matter is no one’s business.

Are Transsexuals confused about their gender?

Children under eighteen know their gender although several doctors have disputed this fact they have not presented evidence to support their assertions. Adult transsexuals are not confused either, I’m not.

Please take a moment to cut and paste the appropriate links for more information.

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Those making unqualified declarations alleging transsexual confusion in adultâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dinnae know who or what the feck they are let alone who anyone else. The link below is to the 'The American Academy of Pediatrics. 'Their

information is authentic and they are not a hate group. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/132/1 /198.full.pdf The American college of pediatrics is a fringe anti Transgender hate group! Note this organization is a wellknown radicle Christian hate group. http://cnsnews.com/commentary/j-matt-barber/americancollege-pediatricians-transgender-conditioning-child-abuse http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2016/03/22/3762261/pediatricia n-hate-group/ You will find a lot of these fringe anti-trans groups online. Their names alone can be misleading. Always authenticate your sources and if in doubt contact the LGBT alliance.

The link below is to the 'The American Academy of Pediatrics.'

Their information is authentic as they are not a hate group List of active hate groups. This list is not complete https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligencereport/2015/active-anti-lgbt-groups

Debunking the mass hysteria and stupidity of who uses what restroom.

A statement with regard to transsexual individuals and their use of a public bathroom. I am speaking to those who research by proclamation, not investigation and dinnae bother us with facts our minds are already made up.

Do you really think that a Male to Female Transsexual would put themselves through the darkness and fires of hell transition, and for some of us GRS just to molest someone in a public bathroom with a surgically created vagina?

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How is it possible for a Female to Male Transsexual, using a men’s room, to sexually assault someone with a penile implant?

How is it that a Male to Female Transsexual would be in a men’s bathroom as their place is in the women room?

Permit me to reiterate how would a pre-op or non-op Male to Female Transsexual sexually assault someone in a ladies convenience room with a flaccid penis that’s only function is to urinate because of hormones?

When I transitioned the stiffest thing on me was my feckin big toe.

The arguments being sent forth by the collective sexually obsessed so-called righteous politicians and clergy are the dumbest uneducated shit fur brains baseless galactically stupid suppositions of this century. Jesus someone educate these flipping dobbers and by all means do not let them near, children, sheep, guns, or farm machinery and never public office.

The solution to this ignorance is not in a bible.

The Bible to the fake Christian is the source of their disregard for the words of their Jesus, love one and another not kill one and another, not oppress, and hate each other.

These people are so busy judging and hating they refuse to see the shit they are in regarding their own eternal souls.

The New Testament and all that Christ taught is being pished on not by those you oppress but by you. What would your Jesus say? To those who prattle on in such mania, it’s a good possibility you are in need of therapy.

It is my opinion that you are desperately in need of psychological evaluation in order to address your sexual obsessions and Levitical psychosis. Fact, not opinion is you low foreheaded idjits are so immersed in such degenerate, and unnatural obsession with children it causes me great concern for my grandchildren’s safety.

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Which gives birth to another question? Why are you sickminded individuals so obsessed with such deviant and depraved acts with children?

They say the best defense is a good offense, perhaps you arse bandits are suppressing your own sexual desires. One who speaks the loudest in order to overpower their chosen foe is the individual who is always wrong. Denial is not just a river lads and lassies!

In this year, twenty-fifteen on the issues of acceptance and legalities of said issues having to do with the Transsexual are still in desperate need of work through cooperation, not condemnation. America just re-elected the same crooked hateful lunatics and placed them back in Congress and in charge of the asylum. These people have attacked equality and marriage rights with no mercy, their next victims will be those in the Transsexual and Transgender community.

Those in hot pursuit of denying someone the basic use of a waste depository are not strong; they are frightened and weak little people, preaching mid evil sky is falling fuckery.

Let’s hear from those in authority regarding the issue.

What right-wing groups say will happen if states implement laws to protect Transsexual/Transgender individuals from discrimination.

1. Statement from Peter Sprigg, Family Research Council “sexual predators would have legitimized access to woman’s restroom’s.”

2. Statement of Texas Values, Laws would allow “sexual predator’s easier access to their targets.”

3 Statement by Pacific Justice Institute, Laws would be “abused” and “exploited” by sexual predators.

Let’s set aside the blind ignorance of the right and look at the truth based in and presented as fact by officials in states that have laws protecting Transsexuals and Transgender individuals.

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1. Nevada, Las Vegas police dept., no problems since passage of 2011 law.

2. Vermont: Karen Richards, Human rights commission “Not aware” of any problems since the 2001 law.

3. Michael D. Evora executive director of Rhode Island Human Rights Commission, “No increased in sex crimes due to 2001 law.”

4. Jim O’Neil spokesman for Connecticut Commission on Human Rights in Opportunities. “Unaware of any sexual assault as a result of the CT Gender Identity of Expression law.”

5. Charlie Burr spokesman for Oregon labor and Industries” Zero Allegations of Bathroom sexual assault.”

6. Amy Snierson director of Maine Human rights commission, “No Factual Basis “for sexual assault fears.”

Now I ask those of you who would make unqualified absurd http://mediamatters.org/research/2014/03/20/15-experts-debunkright-wing-transgender-bathro/198533

The Media, “if I took your clothes off what would I see?”

Let me begin by saying anyone asking such a question should be ashamed of themselves. I dinnae hear any of the same news anchors asking people like Scarlett Johansson the same question. The person asking such inappropriate questions of a Transsexual has no respect for themselves or anyone else.

The Transsexual is just another source by which to feed their own sexual depravity and sick twisted curiosity to jet up their ratings.

What would I see if I took your clothes off? Nothing the interview is over good-bye!

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Society the validation of one's true self.

The following truth is also condensed. Much of the content has been toned down out of respect for underage readers.

I believe every Transsexual needs to validate them self after entering transitioning.

I did so and at first, it was a most unpleasant experience.

The majority of hate and bigotry directed at me was from town locals where I lived at that time.

When I relocated, I moved from the fire to the frying pan. I address this issue to a further extent in another article.

Acceptance by society is only important simply because you are living as who you truly are and must be able to function as a member of society through assimilation in accordance with your true gender. Please keep in mind you must also accept society on an as-is basis and through kindness, many will accept you.

Fact! The world does not revolve around you!

The painful reality is society dinnae give one shat about you let alone your acceptance issues. Unless someone wants to harm you or collect money or favors from you in one way or another trust me they dinnae care. I knew this myself from the start, but try explaining this view to some overanxious transitioning soul who has passed their first six-month mark.

I had met a few, not all, Transsexuals in the nineties that expressed the firm belief that society owed them acceptance and respect because of their suffering, as Kath shakes her head. Some of us attempted to enlighten these individuals on the realities of respect and acceptance.

The view that society owes you something or that society owes anyone anything is balderdash. You want acceptance and respect you can earn it just like everyone else.

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On Transsexual/Transgender Discrimination.

It may shock you but there are only 12 states that I am aware of as of this publication that provides legal protections for sexual orientation, and gender identity including job discrimination. In many states, you can be refused housing, jobs, medical care exception being Medicare and Medicaid patients, and in some places service in an eatery.

I have was impolitely asked to leave a local eatery in nineteen ninety-eight, upon disclosure of transition status I was also told to leave several doctorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; offices.

Imagine being deathly ill and being refused care because of your gender identity; this happens somewhere at some time in the United States every day. It has happened to me!

The bigots would have you believe that Transsexual equality amounts to special rights and should not be compared to the civil right movement of the nineteen sixties in which both black and white Americans stood side by side with Doctor Martin Luther King.

The bigots are wrong and their neocon Christian terrorist supporters are wrong.

There are Christians who say we are not all like this, to you I say get aff yer erses and take your religion back.

The Anti-American Christian armies of darkness have turned yer religion into a fascist theocracy just as radicle Islamist seek to do to their people.

In Pennsylvania today it is still legal to discriminate against Transsexual and Transgender people, on non-public housing, health care, and jobs.

Hospitals such as UPMC Pittsburgh are all-inclusive and do not practice any type or form of discrimination. In Pennsylvania, the Commonwealth only provides sexual orientation and gender identity protections for state employees only.

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Many in the Commonwealth think Transsexuals are protected from discrimination by Commonwealth law and they are wrong.

It’s odd that the hateful are so well versed in this fact it says to me these individuals are capable of learning the real issues but choose to hate.

The Special Rights argument.

When people make the dumb ass statement that Transsexual and Transgender individuals want special rights it makes me want tae boak.

Do these right-wing Anti-American terrorist mean special as in paying no taxes like the Churches, who are now a political entity and contributor to their psychotic mummy and daddy issues? Or do they mean the special right to eat at whatever restaurant they wish, find a job without being denied the job then called a Freak or IT by the prospective employer because you’re Transsexual or Transgender?

Or do they mean the right to live where they want, or obtain health care or maybe it’s the right to worship the way they want or be who you are not be made to live by someone else religious and political views?

The aforementioned are all things that everyday Americans, except LGBTQI Americans, do in their daily lives without fear, or threat of bullying, belittlement, beating, or murder.

Do you know who has special rights? Everyone except the LGBTQI American that’s who.

American used to be a free country! I am affronted by these fascist standing in front of my American flag and declaring they will fight against equality.

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I can not find any degree of positive benefit to an American who endorses the unqualified opinions of uneducated cretins over scientific facts. In dividing Americans and creating two classes of people one more equal than the other it will start a physical revolution.

One of these Nazis I think it was Cruz, said he would leave interracial marriage to the states? The matter was already decided in the courts so he wants to spend taxpayer dollars to repeal a law that has tenure.

How can people stand and cheer these bigots and racist?

Those who do are in for a big surprise when something they are doing displeases their psychotic masters. Say it wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happen?

Look at the Middle East itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gonna happen in America real quick. It will not be Islam beheading Americans; it will be Christians stoning their fellow Americans in accordance with biblical law of course.

There are over 6 Billion Islamics on the planet Earth if Islam is as evil and destructive as your fear mongering masters claim they are we would all be dead.

The example below further proves my point as he also seduced a nation with hate and bigotry.

To permit any religious group to discriminate against anyone or group by using their religion grants said group special rights.

A federal judge ruled that a Mississippi law regarding religious freedom and establishing the right to discriminate against LGBT individuals under the guise of religious freedom to be unconstitutional. A victory for the LGBT community. http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-lgbt-mississippiidUSKCN0ZH3VG

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Now tell me are these special rights that Tran’s people want again. ?

There was a man much like those preaching hate and fear today. He came to power in nineteen-thirties Germany. He seduced a nation and sent his armies of darkness to march over the face of the earth killing billions.

"Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord."

Adolph Hitler http://www.nobeliefs.com/hitler.htm Replace the word Jew with Muslim, Homosexual, Lesbian, Transsexual, or Transgender.

Acknowledgment of one’s true self This should be of importance to all Transsexual’s; some may be shaking their heads. After refining your outer look, you should have realized by now and obtained resolve. It is what’s inside of you that matters first and foremost after this is why you sought help, if this is not true you need to address this with your therapist.

After all, you have undertaken and spent the time to find yourself its time you accepted yourself in total.

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Any issues you may have had with your appearance should have been replaced with self-confidence and the inner peace and freedom to be who you truly are. If not true once again, address this with your therapist. Now I hear the excuse makers saying well it’s this and it’s that and they dinnae like me. Tough, that’s life, and yes it can really get you in a twist if you let it, but why deny yourself happiness, (denial again). Are you going to permit a group of churlish pinheads without the brain matter between them to make toast define you?

Which one of your monthlies will they be paying? Your car payment, rent, mortgage? I will not permit anyone to delineate me ever again; I permitted this for forty plus years of my life and will never permit this to happen again. The moment I accepted myself was the moment I no longer cared what others thought.

I feel this is a mindset that all Transsexual individuals should take a closer look at. I ask you without this manner of thought are you better off than when you began your journey or are you still frightened what people will think if they judge you fuck em and move on they are not worth your time.

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Public Acceptance A transsexual will eventually find a degree of acceptance .provided they let go of who they thought they were and accept who they are then leaving all the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Look at me I am special and in transition, you must respect meâ&#x20AC;? complex bullshit behind them and assimilate with the flippin general public.

You can do this without foregoing who you are providing you have discovered whom and what you are during therapy.

Twenty plus years ago I walked into my bank one afternoon and wow.

Several months had passed before my last visit and I assure you what I was about to say would give a reason for my extended absence in the city.

The tellers and manager had all known me for years and yet during my entire transition they looked at me in a certain way perhaps it was just my psychic abilities giving me a nudge, as the look was often an uncomfortable one.

I was cashing a cheque when the teller asked me how I was a so forth. I said I completed my entire transition.

Her face turned red, there were no other customers in the bank, and she stood frozen for a moment. I said are you all right?

She smiled and said do you have a minute? I will be right back.

She returned with two other women who worked in the bank, mind you, they only stopped a few seconds before getting back to work. Each of them smiled then congratulated me, one said welcome to the fairer sex. I thanked them almost in tears and I went about my business.

To think there had been a time in the past that I wished I had never been born at all, let alone with knowledge, wisdom, and maturity not to mention psychic abilities.

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Perhaps my life would have been much easier as a person who suffered while complying and assimilating then following the leader blindly and accepting invented media, political and religious opinions that are anything but fact.

The Transsexuals who have moved forward are happy in the fact that they are living their lives as a whole person without waving a flag or tolerating ignorance. On the plus side in twenty some years I have not aged very much and even with a few extra pounds according to one English actor, I am dead sexy, laughs. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;insert laughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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The media, religion, and the Transsexual The media panders to negative issues; in fact, they create much of the negative public opinion then encourage the hatefully frightened little turds to new heights of inanity. I am not excluding several LGBTIQ individuals touting their own disinformation, abhorrence, and prejudice. Reprehensible!

Individuals like Franklin Graham spew hate, not the love and inclusion that Yeshua taught. BTW, Yeshua in Hebrew means salvation; the Y in Yeshua is from the Hebrew Yod. When portions of the Bible were being translated the Y in Yod was being mispronounced in English by its being made to sound like the English letter J. Oh, and before I forget, Yeshua was Jesus. Oh, just one more thing, Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of selfishness and immorality, gays were a minority of the cities inhabitants. (Genesis 19:4-621st Century King James Version (KJ21) 4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom — both young and old, all the people from every quarter —compassed the house around.

5 And they called unto Lot and said unto him, “Where are the men who came into thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them.”

6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him) No surprise to me that most of Christianity today dinnae offer tolerance, love, and inclusion, they offer condemnation in their Gods name.

They’re in the sin management business and the make war on anyone they feel does not meet the criteria of their religion, the judgment business.

Jesus wept these people are so blinded by hate and selfrighteousness they cannae see the shit they are in with their own eternal life. Lucifer must be busting at the seams with pride.

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When Gay marriage became legal in all fifty states on 26 June 2015, Franklin Graham spewed hatred at all LGBT people.

However, seeing as the Gay marriage issue has obtained a victory, there is still a war on Transgender and Transsexual individuals. I do believe a good portion of today's' awareness, empathy, and acceptance emanates from many not all of our adolescents. Those with opened minds and hearts are the inclusionists that make the positive differences. You know the fucking Liberals, they support free health care for kids, food stamps, elder and disabled care, equality, equal wages, free college, fair pay, and being so fucking nice it makes you bigoted feckwits want to shat in your hat.

True Christians don’t judge, they love The reality of life on earth is that we are not a one size fits all society; we are all each and everyone as diverse and everchanging as the stars in the heavens. The True Christian does not use the charlatans contrived” hate the sin not the sinner” shit.

Nowhere in the New Testament does it say, “Hate the sin not the sinner?”

When you judge others you so judge yourself. When you use your bible to excuse your own hatred, then claim to speak for God you have worshipped a false idol. No one speaks for God and when you do, you have broken Gods law.

Thusly when someone says ‘you need God’ I say which fucking one?

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Transmisogyny.

This is something every Tran’s woman should read.

Extract from page “Transmisogyny is generally understood to be caused by the social belief that men are superior to women. In Whipping Girl, Julia Serano writes that the existence of Tran’s women is seen as a threat to a "male-centered gender hierarchy, where it is assumed that men are better than women and that masculinity is superior to femininity."[5] Gender theorist Judith Butler echoes this assumption, stating that the murder of transgender women is "an act of power, a way of re-asserting domination... killing establishes the killer as sovereign in the moment that he kills."[6] Tran’s women are also viewed as threatening the heterosexuality of cisgender men. In media, "deceivers" such as Dil, a transgender woman from the 1992 film The Crying Game, have been observed to invoke outrage and male homophobia in an audience when their "true" maleness is unveiled.[7]” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transmisogyny

Is there an LGBTQI agenda?

If by agenda you mean LGBTQI people fighting for their rights to be treated as equals by the government and society you would be bang on. Personally, I see no reason to deny any human being the right to exist and be treated as equals.

I can hear someone saying well the LGBTIQ people could be criminals; well anyone can be a criminal in that matter all of us are recognized as equals.

The word agenda is legal semantics, and also a media word much like the regime, keywords such as these are used by the media to inspire a negative public reaction, preferably violence, division, and unbridled fear.

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There is no evil agenda to indoctrinate children into a gay lifestyle. The statement itself is poorly contrived fiction as those touting it is frightened, uneducated little people.

The desire of the educational system is to educate. If you do not educate children with the understanding that all people including them are different from one and another, nepotism will flourish. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hate is the afterbirth of fear, and its practitioners are the weakâ&#x20AC;?

There is nothing wrong with being who you are if this were a crime we would all be in jail.

After all, we come in all sizes shapes, colors, religions, ethnic backgrounds, political views, personal taste, sexual orientation, and gender identity. If you are unable to accept your fellow beings you will learn nothing of humankind's purpose to be enriched and blessed by the benevolence and forbearance of all creatures great and small. Gender identity is not a lifestyle, it is not a sexual preference, it is not a sexual orientation, it is an identity, more to the point it who a person is.

Fact; if people would all treat each other as they would themselves there would be no need of agendas!

The Indoctrination lie Once again, on the indoctrination allegation let me clarify the meaning of the T in LGBT. The T represents Transgender.

As far as I am concerned, the Transsexual is not a part of the Transgender community. The lies being spread that Transsexuals are plying today's youth into some sort of lifestyle are absurd.

Another fact being Transsexualism is not a lifestyle, therefore, this allegation and related suppositions are all lies.

If you disagree then show me evidence from two valid mind science resources that render my statement invalid. Bibles are not scientific.

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Furthermore, having spoken to politicians off the record and in private as well at dinner parties, by way of those in my family over the years I know that these lies are artificial reefs.

The politicians cling to these a means to continually be reelected, they use the reefs to further confuse and distract the public from their agenda which is to screw the American people straight out of their retirements, vet benefits, health care, job opportunities, education, social security, and the list goes on.

Todays Transgender pride I am not speaking of Gay Pride as Gay and Transsexual individuals are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

I understand some of the reasons in place for the use of the Transgender term and being a True Transsexual the Transgender umbrella term does not define me it offends me. There are others who feel as I do.

I have heard and seen Transgender people use this term as a defense, a sort of donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tread on me flag letting others know they will not be shamed, belittled, or excluded from society.

I agree with these assertions as long as those making them conduct themselves in a civil and peaceful manner.

I say to the Transsexual rise abouve the ignorance be the better person, not of the same flawed character of the frightened little men and women who are bigots and douche-rockets. Stand in your truth and do not stand in pride, stand in the happiness of your personal being. You know something the haters and bigots do not. You know who and what you are, while they remain lost in their own psychosis.

I dinnae agree with the negative methods being employed by frauds who in doing so mock the True Transsexual making their lives more difficult.

To the Transgender individuals that abuse and thereby present the vilest examples of the Transgender and Transsexual communities.

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I have heard Transgender people use the term ‘Proud to be Transgender’ as if the words were somehow magical.

Whereas, the moment these words sprang from one's face all would bow before them and if by some miraculous intervention of a Gilded Yak flying a gold canoe across a moonlit Montana sky carrying rubber boots filled with coleslaw, ahh yes all would understand as they bow before them or give half a rat's erse as to what their issues are.

No Transsexual or Transgender individual should be wearing their Gender Identity as if it were some fecking badge of honor, a golden ticket that admits one to a super elite club it is not.

Abusing those in your own community eating where you shit!!

My being born Transsexual was not some fancy décolletage it was a bloody millstone. I was born with Gender Dysphoria and because of this; much of my life into my forties had been a living hell. My advice to the pre-op Transsexual finish your transition start anew, find your niche with a reputable vocation by which you can support yourself, fall in love, get married, or remain single, and live a long and happy life.

Now, aren’t I just the Scottish vacuum of charm?

Let’s talk about exclusion Yes, there are a lot of cruel people and have been throughout history all wanting to exclude and harm one person, one group, one faith, or one view or another. Here is what I find a bit odd. If you are a transitioning Transsexual it should be paramount to you that you strive to blend in as a part of society. If you have completed transition, you will have already assimilated but there are exceptions.

Why then are you excluding yourself by waving a flag that says ‘Proud to be Transgender’ or look I’m over here?

When I see individuals doing this I can't help but think do they realize how contrary they are to themselves?

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Do their therapists know they are behaving this way?

If you want validation, assert yourself politely and do some good for others at the same time, volunteer at the Red Cross, a soup kitchen, a rest home, find a job that requires you to work with the public.

You can assert your rights the same way I did, by using your head before putting your mouth in fifth gear. When your mind is in panic, your mouth will wave a distress signal so keep it shut.

Keep your head and dinnae overthink, as more often than not things are what they are you may need to step away and re-think the issues. You can build bridges with potential allies through the use of social graces and patience.

You will not accomplish your goals by telling them how wrong they are.

You may do so by telling them how right they are on certain issues and what you can do to help them reach new heights through consideration and partial inclusion bring resolve to many of your issues. Be a diplomatic example of humanity first and then if you wish the Transsexual community, negotiate and debate by making concessions, you give them something, and they give you something in return.

You have weapons that all Political and Religious despots fear and they are a voice, free will, a vote, and in many cases knowledge. The darkest fear, all religious and political nutters have is the valid truth.

What I did I did not wear a metaphorical chip on my shoulder saying I dare you to hurt me, rest assured someone would have and in fact did so not for my having an attitude but for my being a Transsexual.

I transitioned and although I have a chronic physical illness, I have gone on to live a happy life in which I am free to love others and be loved in return.

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Without regard to divisive issues, I am proud to have known and still know some of the finest individuals that walk the earth.

My pride except for this publication is private. Keep your Transgender pride flag, you can wrap yourself in it every time someone says or does something that hurts your feelings. This frame of mind is as good as playing the race, religion, or antiSemite card, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all pish. You have a genuine issue use the links in the back of the book, not the public at large to do your laundry. We laid the foundations so others that followed could plant their flag upon this foundation firmly, and with more confidence not to piss on through some personal egotistical fleeting folly!

Most have no idea what I and other Transsexuals endured during the nineties there was no cavalry; there were no monolithic aide and law centers. We had our purpose, our vigilance, and our resolve. Most of us, I included, did not have as much as each other.

Transsexual and Transgender individuals in MTF or FTM transition therapy today should focus on transition and goals directly related to transition and financial stability.

These mandates do not include parades or boasting about how magnificent it is to be Transgender.

They do not include verbal and emotional beat downs of those who disagree with you, nor the right to make assumptions with regard to me.

Be thankful for those who live and work in the world outside the Transgender community that stands by you, it's more than I had.

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A Failed attempt to exploit me I make it no secret that I am an internationally known psychic medium. A few years ago, a television producer came into possession of a recording of one of my investigations.

He contacted me to say he wanted to create a Television show featuring a psychic of good reputation with a buoyant personality, and I was that psychic.

I put him in touch with my then manager in London and we began to discuss the details of the project. There were numerous sticking points, one was my wanting the show to not use the word â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Revealâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; or feature any ridiculous cartoon frolic music as a backing track.

Because of the sensitivities of my abilities, I wanted to conduct my investigations with a minimal amount of screw, cam, sound etc.

I asked that the show highlights both my abilities and personality as they had asked; this was to be done without all the media molded packed and sold nonsense that would portray me as another cookie cutter TV medium zombie. Along with my abilities, I intended to use science and common sense to debunk alleged hauntings that were no more than creaky pipes and rats in the attic. I am quite ill and this needed to be taken, into serious consideration.

They had agreed to several of these points then suddenly expressed a need for me to tone down my explicit language and what they found hilarious sarcasm.

This struck me as odd because of the many reasons they wanted me was my sarcasm, wit, and sometimes salty language.

When I was first approached these were points they wished to emphasize. My manager expressed concerns that I may leave the table, but I did not at that time.

My intuition picked up on their not wanting me to be part of the negotiations so I stayed.

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I insisted that every aspect of my contract be transparent.

Each item is placed in the contract was to have pored over and discussed, none of this just make the show Kath, and while youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re busy, we will do what we want rubbish. There was a face to meeting one morning at which time another item was brought to our attention.

They felt quite strongly that my having been Transsexual could be a major selling point, in the words of an old English TV executive friend of my grandfathers; it would pop,pop,pop.

Unknown to management or myself they were about to venture into a deeply private part of my life as they did not express these intentions to my manager or I at any time prior to the meeting.

Note: My manager had provided the usual disclosure documents; my health was a major issue as I have retired because of illness. They agreed to work around my health and did so in writing. They had to protect their interest and ensure me; portions or much of the show was to be shot in the U.S. During the meeting I was told, not asked, that they were going to use my being a former Transsexual as a selling point. At that time, I had not made a public disclosure with regard to my sexual identity and had no plans to do so in the future.

Nevertheless, the profanities flew from me in such manner it would later be written that some ancient Celtic warrior had flown across the sky to then unleash several metric tons of shite upon them thereby muzzling their words and disgusting intentions.

There were other things equally as offensive to me I prefer not to repeat. I have never witnessed such unprofessionalism.

I can hear people saying well you wrote a book and declared yourself to the entire world.

I had not yet written Through the Darkness or had planned to write the book before or during the dates that these events had taken place.

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In conclusion, I feel that any type of exploitation, sexual or otherwise of anyone’s gender and or gender identity speaks loudly of yet another of humanities iniquities. In hindsight, I know that the non-secular God of the universe was with me, and this was the right decision as my overall health has since gotten worse.

Yes, I have feelings.

Don’t hand me that pc bullshit when I tell you I dislike your hateful and bigoted remark. Don’t throw that negative pc nonsense at me when I tell you that I am offended by what you said. Ask me what part of what you said was offensive or try to debate me on how I feel guess no one decides how I feel.

Gaslight all you wish there is nothing wrong with me. Moreover, there is something wrong with people who troll LGBTQ news stories in order to post negative remarks. A few terms come to mind Sadism, narcissism, Cluster B personality disorder, closeted homosexuality and or gender dysphoria and two of my favorite’s inferiority or superiority complex.

The offensive remarks directed at me simply because I am a woman are no more than chauvinism and fuckery.

I am bored and disgusted with the chopping off the dick lie I hear almost daily on the net. I am not a violent person but I would thoroughly enjoy ripping one of these nitwits’ dicks off and gluing to their forehead making them a limp dick unicorn.

A few of the repugnant and filthy-minded questions I have been asked over the decades. Many of those asking were devout Christians. I know because I asked.

1.

After they chopped your dick off did they put it in a jar so you could bring it home with you?

2. Has somebody broken your ass in yet?

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3. How big a dick can your pussy take?

4. Have you practiced giving blowjobs?

5.

Did you practice using dildos and shit stretching out your pussy so you can fuck men?

6. Did it hurt the first time you fucked a guy?

7. Can I take a video of you getting fucked?

8. What’s the biggest dick you ever sat on?

9. Do you fuck animals like dogs?

10. You had the operation does that make you a hooker now? ( generic question) 11.

If I fuck you does that mean I am gay ( generic question) 12.

Is your pussy made of plastic like the fake pussies they have at dirty bookstores?

13. Are your tits real, can I squeeze them and titty fuck you?

14.

Admit it you want to fuck men that’s why you had the operation didn’t ya?

God and shame No, I have done nothing to be ashamed of. If you lose an arm or a leg, will you not purchase a prosthetic to take its place?

If you or a family member were born with a birth defect that torments and causes them pain, would you not take action to correct this? If you cut your hair, use hair color or have tattoos are you not breaking the laws set forth in your bible? Divorce?

How about shellfish? Do you work on the Sabbath, according to the bible you should be put to death?

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Should I call the police and have them smite you or should I do this myself? Do you own slaves; it says you may do so in your bible providing they are of a different nation, then how do you feel about Canadians?

I corrected a birth defect and you charlatan’s claim your God does not make mistakes then explain children born with missing limbs or other birth defects.

I did nothing shameful it is you who should be ashamed of yourselves. What would your Jesus who taught love, tolerance, and inclusion say?

What is it with you Christ-hating fake Christians, every time you see a freggin rainbow you want to blow it up?

Is it not true that the rainbow represents Gods promised to never again flood the earth?

Didn’t God flood the earth because God was pished and wanted to kill all the sinful assholes? Sadly, only to repopulate it with more assholes sounds logical to me, yeah and I’m a Chinese jet pilot.

Better, look at those clouds it could rain at any moment. Don’t ya think it’s time for another flood? What are you waiting for I know all you righteous zealots want to be directors of water sports, no need to worry golden showers are not my thing.

I can hear Coronal Cong saying “I’m gonna get them bomb doors open if it hair lips everybody on bear creek” I am kind of hoping Arizona Pastor Steve Anderson, lets me wax his erse and use him as a fecking surfboard so I can ride the big one to paradise, yee-haw.

Being a sane individual the question remains why is there not a mandatory yoga class for bigoted scumbags.

I may know a gay black Islamic yoga instructor who is married to a gay white boy from Alabama who may be able to help. Christians I don’t believe in your psychotic invisible God.

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Do Transsexual and Transgender individuals take advantage of government aid programs?

I feel there are not enough aid programs. Yes, these programs are designed to be temporary. There are several reasons why they are being used the long term one of which is the wage.

There are people working at Walmart that are receiving food stamps because their greedy employer will not pay them a livable wage.

Who foots the bill for Walmart’s greed? The working man and woman.

The Transsexual is not immune to this voracity; they suffer equally if not more so because of the hatred and indifference encouraged by those who suffer from various psychological disorders one of which is cognitive dissonance.

What we should be asking is why the rich white men we placed in power are not creating opportunities in America rather than paying subsidies to companies that move to China. We give billions in aid to the world while Americans suffer. There is not just something wrong these acts are criminal. As for the Transsexual, why are we not raising awareness through public education an job training that is conducive to Transsexuals being self-supportive financially? Through non-discrimination for jobs and housing, it’s a good start in declaring we are no longer in need of these programs.

How can a Transsexual support them self with finding work when the job is non-existent because the employer is transphobic? You can have all the qualifications in the world and they still won’t hire you because you’re Transsexual. How can anyone say these programs are being taken advantage of when the programs are the only life raft in a sea of indifference created by the people who are indifferent?

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The finger pointers and blamers claiming these programs are being taken advantage of are blaming the victims.

The victims they have denied an equal seat at the table in order that they are part of a positive discussion designed to resolve these issues.

You blamers need not give me that victim mentality shit, you know damn well when you oppress someone they will do whatever is needed to survive.

You damn well know you can stop this oppression by passing laws that stop discrimination, yet you have done everything to destroy equal treatment and protections under the law. That being said it appears you Levitical fascist are quick enough to make endless futile attempts to usurp the laws regarding Americans foundations of freedom and equal treatment for all.

While you flatulating douche bags are pishing on the bill of rights and the constitution there are LGBTQI attorneys and friendly politicians who will not only present overwhelming legal arguments for equal treatment they will win.

Every American should be concerned about their freedom.

Today it is the Transsexual and Transgender individuals. Fact is itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only a matter of time before you are denied equal treatment and due process.

If Americans would lose their stinging hate and open their arms instead of opening fire on anyone, they see as different we could begin a productive and positive dialogue Replace the word Jew with LGBTQI and or Islam https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came_...

The psychotic logic being employed by the insufferable status quo is just that psychotic. What is even more repugnant are the elitist and recently hailed heroes that sit offering lengthy opinions attempting to micromanage and minimize the damage being done by their own snobbish acrimonies.

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They are clueless as to what is going on in the real world and it’s apparent they dinnae give a rats ass, how Christ-like.

Respect in death Using myself as the example, when the hospital doctor gave me the long face in Oct 2014, I had a discussion with my established designated legal executor(s) representative(s) and advocate(s) concerning my final wishes.

A month later upon meeting my new doctor, he was of the opinion that I may be here for a while longer.

I feel I am here as long as the universe wants me to be regardless of health.

I am going to discuss death and subsequent issues that may arise upon my death.

Although speaking about death may be morbid to some please note I have had four Near Death Experiences. I dinnae fear death as I have seen what is waiting for me when I cross the rainbow bridge. However, discussing my death has been rather difficult with my designate(s).

Death is an issue that needs discussion not solely for those who are sick and aging but also the healthy true transsexual.

Although I no longer identify as Transsexual I will be treated as such in the morgue. A major reason being when a person dies aside from a designated family member or duly appointed executor(s)representative(s), and or advocate(s) who will stand for your rights in death without them you are at the mercy of people who may not respect who you are in death.

A doctor and in some instances a sheriff may identify a body and note the gender. On the doctor’s behalf, a doctor will have to sign the death certificate. Take note if someone has undergone GRS there are still certain aspects of one’s body MTF or FTM that can be definitive, sans to say there are numerous ways to make these distinctions.

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The doctor and or the sheriff without the intervention of a designate or a doctor who addresses gender identity after death may decide.

The aforementioned doctor will want to know how long you have lived your life identifying as male or female, their decision will generally favor the Transsexual.

Legal documents, legal name, drivers license (denotes gender), passport (if you have one) etc.

If you have designated someone to advocate your rights in death, they should present legal documents such as a health care directive, disposition of a body etc.

If a favoring, doctor is not available or an advocate your fate in death may be in the hands of someone who is biased against you. (A death record can be disputed after death, by your legal designate(s) and or a family member) There are now doctors who are called in to determine gender when a transsexual has passed away. At this time, they are few and located mostly in large cities.

If you die in a small village like mine, you only need to use your imagination and pray they do not desecrate your corpse. It should be noted due to my religious beliefs, and I have them, I have a legal non-autopsy document.

You may wish to donate a few dollars now and then to an LGBT legal advocacy group, as the death issue is one they have been instrumental in part for its creation.

Last wishes and custody of ones remains I recall an incident in which a former, Transsexual woman passed on and her last wishes were denied because her family somehow obtained control of her corpse.

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They cut her hair and placed her in a suit and tie then buried her as a male listing her only as a male, placing her (nonamended) birth name on the tombstone and in the obit thereby totally disregarding her complete legal name change, complete transition, and her legacy.

This type of ignorance and selfishness happens; it is tragic and even frightening to the living. I am sure a lot of transsexuals never give death a thought and they should.

Years of your life may vanish because someone who did not care about you decides to dishonor your memory in death.

The friends you have made as your true self, those you have touched and have touched you, those you loved and those who loved you back, your achievements, the lives you have enriched with kindness and those who have shown you the same will be gone. Over a decade ago, someone said to me why would you care, after all, your dead. I said you do not wish to be remembered, your life has meant nothing, and you have been so insignificant that you want to be forgotten as if you had never lived?

There were people who cared about me and I cared about them. I have done my best to be a positive part of society.

Although flawed as are we all I was a good person.

There is the remote possibility of someone in my family obtaining control of my body and defiantly stripping my last wishes to the wind let alone asserting my right to fair treatment, the last request for mercy in order to die with dignity and honor.

A religious zealot of a sheriff or a closed-minded doctor holding fingerprint documents in two names, with two dates of submission may kill me once more after I die.

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You see this is how the majority of Transsexual and Transgender individuals are treated in death. Because of religion and social ignorance, we are considered outcast abominations to God and therefore many of us we will be cast out of societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s memory.

If my trusted family member that lives next door to me dies before me this, more than likely this will be my fate as for my children any intervention on their part may or may not be disastrous. I do think my son, his wife may stand up for me should the time come. Nevertheless, I have appointed a secondary representative who agreed to honor my wishes.

Unless someone looking for a public record had information pertaining to my life before and after transition I would be forgotten forever and a sex change parent is not the sort of issue a family will advertise or promote by placing it on an ancestry site.

Perhaps the laws will change in time. Currently, there are but few states, commonwealths, or countries that have laws protecting the gender identity of Transsexuals after death.

It is important you read the next three articles as I share sample legal documents.

After all, is said and done my friends without the help I have discussed your humble female author and narrator Kathryn will with but one keystroke is erased forever.

Important legal matters the Transsexual must address.

Although not in their entirety, I authored the following legal documents. Document titles are listed as well a synopsis.

1. Statement of Contrary Intent. This document makes your last wishes known and states who is authorized to make funeral arrangements, cremation, and or formal burial.

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If you feel your family may not respect you last wishes as per your gender identity, manner of obit and funeral arrangement you may legally appoint someone other than family that will respect your wishes, assert, and act as your advocate upon death.

This will set your mind at ease if you have concern you family may not respect your wishes.

2. Directive in and of Recognition of Gender Identity Pre and Post-Mortem. A directive as to who will have sole authority to sign all legal documents in accordance with your last wishes. As for me, one legal document would be the permit to cremate my body and have authority as to the disposal of my remains.

This document is also a directive concerning your gender identity should you become so infirmed you are unable to speak or act on your behalf.

3. AUTHORIZATION FOR FINAL DISPOSITION OF MY BODY. This again permits you to place a person or persons in charge of your body. However, this clarifies, again, who will dispose of your body according to your wishes. Once again, you may appoint a designated family member or someone other than family to be authorized to make sure your last wishes are carried out.

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4. DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY OF HEALTH CARE AND DEATH DIRECTIVE, A DESIGNATION OF HEALTH CARE AND DEATH DIRECTIVE SURROGATE. This is what I call step one, because of its placement in a durable health care directive it establishes who is in charge should you be unable to express your wishes and upon your expiration in a health care facility. The death directive is critical as you do not want a family member jumping and disrespecting you and your immediate wishes with regards to your health care or the immediate care of your body.

Here is the context of this portion of the health care directive. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I, (your full and legal name, _______) by this document I intend to create a Durable Power of Attorney for Health care and directive upon Death.

This power of attorney shall take effect upon my full incapacity and or incompetency, and shall continue during such incapacity and or incompetency and act as my statement of intent and directive in the event of my death. The term disability does not and will not be applicable to this power of attorney as I am disabled by standards set forth by the Social Security Administration as a division of the United States Governmentâ&#x20AC;?

You must also state your wishes in a Last Will and Testament, be specific when stating your last wishes, and be specific as to who you appoint to see to the full and complete identification including gender and the further disposition of your body.

All of these documents must be notarized and contain a selfauthenticating affidavit. Should your agent, the one you placed in charge be unable to fulfill their duties if they predeceased you etc. you can legally appoint a secondary individual including an attorney.

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Remember, you must have each and every one of the aforementioned documents signed, witnessed, and notarized.

Although I have legal skills it is best to consult an attorney in your state before creating any legal documents. Remember these are your last words and last wishes. It is vital that each document be specific. If you are making your arrangements itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good idea to keep your spokesperson informed as well. See the link below http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-rights/take-thepower/your-wishes-for-funeral It is important that the elderly Transsexual know his or her rights in matters such a nursing home care, and private care facilities. This link speaks of the issues and the current laws in your favor. http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-yourrights/transgender/trans-seniors-faq https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/transgender-peopleand-law https://www.aclu.org/map/non-discrimination-laws-statestate-information-map

Those who tormented me One of those who abused me as a child I have forgiven the same for one of those who harmed me as an adult. As to those, where I currently reside, I will never forget their criminal abuse of me. I dinnae dwell on what they have done but I cannae find it in me to ever forgive them. I make no excuse for my action suffice to say I have reached a point in my life where I lack any degree of tolerance for ignorant, hateful, and evil zealots.

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I find no justifiable reason for their criminal actions and their lack of remorse; such criminals should be removed from society and imprisoned.

Permit me to be clear there is just no place left in my life or my heart for another physical and or emotional scar upon me.

Several of these mingin arse bandits wanted to see if I was a real girl one evening, they tried to rape me and found it to be a costly decision and an extremely painful lesson.

These people destroyed my only car, repeatedly threw fireworks on my porch, and pointed loaded rifles out of car windows at me and the list goes on.

Once my car was gone, they waited all of two weeks and it was then they caved in the driver’s side door of a family members’ car. I called the police after each incident; they took a report and did nothing else.

Their first assault on her vehicle came when they smashed off the driver side mirror.

I used to stay up all night while the aforementioned member of my family slept; I kept watch from my patio window over her car, for weeks. Her car was now parked in front of our homes and this still did no good.

Again we called the police each time, they took a report and did nothing more. A couple of the village people stood outside my home one day and were speaking loudly about hanging someone.

These so-called Christians have terrorized me for years doing unspeakable things and it made every day of my life a living hell. I could not even walk into the town for my post (we have no delivery) without being confronted or harassed. If they had putt heir hands on me I would have called the police, it’s not my issue if they fell down and was injured. When this cowardly sons-a- bitches attacked a family member’s property, I put my foot down.

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I addressed a woman at city council and told her I was going to all the media outlets with my story. I did not tell her about the attempted rape or the talk of hanging me I was saving this for the media. This town has so much dirt itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sickening more drugs go through here than Cumberland, MD. The two thousand and three Afghanistan Abu Ghraib prison incidents should be added to their repertoire. One of their sons was in the Pa National Guard assigned to Abu Ghraib, he claimed he was following orders; they gave him a dishonorable discharge and sent him to military prison for several years.

At that time this southern Bedford County, Pa town was overrun by world media and I could have brought a firestorm on them because they were looking for anything and everything wrong with the village that could add to their {no shame} mess.

I thought these bawbags would let me be but the terror continued.

Much like the cowardly bully, they took my benevolence as a sign of weakness. I almost wish I could reveal the name of this town in this publication, being terrorized further, I would call the police. The police would fill out a report and leave.

I told the official you have a week to stop and end this.

I considered making the town even more famous, Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dumbest transphobic criminals.

I am sure many in the LGBTQI YOUTUBE community and mainstream media would have gladly shown it.

There are less than five hundred people here and another three hundred in the countryside, everyone knows everyone, and there are no secrets.

When my taillights were shot out and my tires were slashed before I rang the police several cars drove by slowly to view the damaged car.

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I knew some of them as they drove by these sick fecks expressed joy knowing I was distraught, they found this entertaining.

I told the official if all else failed, and I was shat out of patience by now, I would ask the county D.A. to file criminal complaints against the individuals I knew to be responsible. I had two credible witnesses that would testify.

Someone in the town may have shown me some HS yearbooks or other photos. Not surprised when I saw one of the scumbags, who was a short fat kid with round glasses I believe he was on the wrestling team. He was the one who caved in my family membersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; door and ripped off the mirror I saw him do it.

I firmly believe he destroyed my car, bit by bit. I spotted him on the street directly across from my home, at three a.m. one morning. I also saw another turd, tall, distinct walk he sort of leaned forward when he walked and ran. He was wearing a white ball cap and was the only one who could have loosened the lugs on our maintenance man Johnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s truck.

He stood a few moments where I could see him, under a streetlight next to Johns house then ran up the street.

Both of them together drove around in a Blue Chevy Cavalier with Pa plates.

I saw them together several times in the a.m. and each time I was standing on my porch when one of them pointed a highpowered rifle at me through the car's open window.

The bastards that destroyed my classic car and caused a great deal of damage to a family members car were real bright boys in a manner of speaking, the stocky kid with round glasses stopped at the corner across from my house under a street lamp to rest once in full view.

I watched him run toward me down the street, he never saw me.

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On two separate occasions, he and then his accomplice pointed a rifle at me from their Blue Chevy Cavalier. Guess where they were when this took place, under the streetlight giving me fullunimpeded view.

I went on to tell the town official I was going to testify in court after an arrest was made. There I would present two unimpeachable witnesses on my behalf.

For the next week or so, a Maryland State Police helicopter was low flying over my house and the entire town with a spotlight at night, there was a presence of County sheriffs and PA State Police. Forgive monsters like this, no. I have their faces and hateful deeds as scars on my heart and emotions. I also know their names.

If only the police would have arrested them!

I heard the fat wrestling kid was in college. I wonder if any of these knuckleheads still belong to that church just miles south of here by Hobos family restaurant on the Pa side of the Mason/Dixon line.

It â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;has been fairly quiet the past few years. There are a few good people here and not many of them. I dinnae mix with the public and only do so when I absolutely have no other choice.

Here is an example of kindness, on August 8th, 2015, the power had gone off all over town, and at ten a.m., the ambulance pulled up in front of my home.

A man and woman stepped out and made a beeline for my door, I could see them through my patio window. I stepped onto the patio and a woman I had never met said Kath do you have enough O2 that will last you to this evening?

I said yes I have a large tank and a few small ones (I use the O2 at night because I have problems breathing)

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She also said did you do a breathing treatment this morning to wit I replied no I was going to plug into the car after I cleaned up a bit. She said would you like to set inside the Van (ambulance) and plugin you can do your treatment.

I did and I thanked both her and the gentleman for caring.

They asked me if I wanted them to come back in a few hours so I could do another treatment and I said no. You may be wondering why the O2 and nebulizer well I have emphysema and COPD. This clearly demonstrates that there are a few people in the village who care about others, I included.

However, with all the antipathy being fostered by politicians and religious goons someone may decide to unleash their hatred on me once again. I absofuckinloutly sick to it, because of these douche rockets I have been without a car now for years and although I have tried I cannae afford to save for a used one. I do not dwell in anger, however, writing about these fecking Godless coward sickens me.

Proper pronouns when speaking of and with a Male or Female Transsexual.

What I am about to say is for those who strive to be polite, and inclusive, more importantly, the following is directed at those who see this issue as unimportant or chose to misgender just to inflict harm.

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Be polite and use the correct pronoun It is important to use the proper pronouns when speaking to a Transsexual, if you should meet a woman who is known to you as a Transsexual and she introduces herself to you as Lisa you would no doubt call her Lisa, she, her, Ms., Miss, or Mrs. Calling a Transsexual female, sir, him or mister is not only disrespectful it is hurtful. Simply put call this individual what they call themselves. If you dinnae care about others feelings it speaks of your own poor character and anti-social behavioral disorder.

Never call anyone It or Freak, the reaction to these terms varies depending upon the individual, it’s entirely possible that someone will beat the living shite out of you for having done so.

There is nothing funny or cute about calling someone names, it’s a form of emotional abuse and bullying that leaves scars inside of a person. FYI, you dinnae decide if you hurt person’s feelings, they do. Speaking only for myself the scars may fade but they never go away completely. Because of emotional and or physical abuse, people take their lives, dinnae be the cause be the one who cares. Should you abuse someone to the point they take their life, the choice is on them the reason is on you. You can tell your God all about how righteous you are in harming Gods other creations in Gods name and good luck with that. The use of proper pronouns may seem insignificant to you but they are as important to a transsexual as your identity is to you.

These statements have nothing to do with being politically or religiously correct.

The aforementioned knowledge is based on fact to prevent you from hurting someone’s feelings and making yourself look like an uneducated gaping arsehole.

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Question to Anti-LGBTQ groups and individuals What happens if there is a fire or robbery at your business or in the street? Are you going to ask the first responders if they are an LGBT person before you permit them to lend aid? If so what if one individual answers yes?

I can see it now a man being beaten and robbed as a police officer notices then he or she intervenes, the man on the ground looks up extending his arm palm up and says WAIT! Are you an LGBT person? If so I do not want your help, ok people go back to beating and mugging me now while they dispatch a straight Christian officer.

A woman is being overcome by smoke on the second story of the burning building; she has her head out of the window gasping for air. A firefighter runs up a ladder and the woman in the window extends her arm palm up and says WAIT! Are you an LGBTQ person, if so you will have to leave and send up a Christian firefighter? Sound stupid? I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pathetic. The bigot is the person in the fire and being robbed, their own hate will get them killed, talk about suicidal and dafty.

The Transsexual/Transgender crime myth If you mean the crimes being committed against the Transsexual every day, the only crimes I am aware of are the denial of basic human and constitutional rights, assaults, and murders of Transsexuals. No other manner of Transsexual crime is known to me.

I know nothing about Transgender specifically MTF and FTM, individuals committing crimes either, only that they too are being treated just as badly as the Transsexual.

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How can any of one live with them self while permitting someone to use their God to inflict harm on one of God s very own creatures?

The American educational system, the LGBTQI, the Islamic peoples, and book banning Sadly, there is book banning in the US; two topics, in particular, seem to upset the so-called Christians. Banning educational books that teach unbiased Muslim and Middle Eastern culture (not Islam as Islam is a religion, there is no country named Islam).

The so-called Christians are also banning books discussing Gay marriage as well books discussing social tolerance and understanding of Transsexual, and Transgender individuals. One such book ‘I am Jazz’ is about a seven-year-old transgender girl named Jazz, yea she’s dangerous, add sarcasm.

What makes these empirically flawed actions even more outrageous is that Jazz is not only a YouTube star but she also had a show on The Learning Channel (TLC).

It’s petrifying to think that kids and adults may learn about someone who embraces the knowledge about someone else culture and religion other than their own and God forbid someone learns anything about Transsexual or Transgender individuals.

The truth is frightening to those who suffer from cognitive dissonance disorders including a Levitical psychosis. By all means get your crosses out, strap on your bibles, grab your M16s and damn the torpedoes.

The tyrannical acts of a few religious wingnuts are nothing more than a sick and ugly display of theocratic fascism in a nation that claims to be a democratic republic.

I have a question when does the majority have an opportunity to make all their views known in a free unbiased forum?

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What no PTA? Why the feck are a few wingnuts being permitted to rob my grandchildren of their education.

I want my grandchildren to know everything about everything so they are able to make their own well-informed decisions and not place their futures in the hands of a gang of fuckwitted Christ-hating Christian Nazi lunatics in need of an exorcism, psychiatric evaluation and a boatload of straight jackets.

I say in order to understand those who are different from ones self-engage them in polite, non-political, or religious, discussion. An interesting fact is the Nazis not only banned books they burned books, for what I would say are many of the same ignorant and tyrannical reasons. I guess America's book burnings will commence after the newly established government enemies of Christianityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s database has been assembled.

The Republican theocratic fascist regime, Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gonna make the holocaust look like a day at fuckin Disneyland.

The origin of the terms Transgender and Transsexual.

The term Transgender and gender identity are not a relatively new term. Many are completely unaware of a Dr. who lived and worked in preoccupied Nazi Germany. In the early 1900s around 1910-1920 during that period a Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld has been credited as coining the term Transgender and his studies talked of Gender Identity mind you this is back in the 1920s. He began a medical institute dedicated to the varying human sexuality's the Institute of Sexology.

The work done by The Institute of Sexology was all but destroyed by the Nazi's when they took power in 1932. The Nazis invaded the institute held a book burning session and destroyed a majority of the work of Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld.

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Later on, his work on Transgender and Transsexualism was continued by Dr. Harry Benjamin here in the United States from 1913-1985.

Dr. Benjamin's work is used in the treatment of Transgender, Transsexual individuals there are medical standards known as the Harry Benjamin standards of care. The Harry Benjamin association changed its name several years ago to WPATH. http://www.hrc.org/resources/world-professionalassociation-for-transgender-health-wpath Here is some useful information about the Transsexual. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual

The Concern Troll.

I thought I would mention this straight off as you are bound to meet one. The concern troll is one of a group of bigots and haters that can really get under the skin of the average Jane and Joe. They will use the titles, references and in some instances direct quotes to make their bias opinion appear legitimate the will also twist any facts they have gleaned. They are hoping you have not read the data or do further studies. One of their favorites is the debunked McHugh opinion and the news stories regarding mentally ill individuals as peeping toms and video voyeursâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; fact is every single one of these people have been arrested and proven NOT to be TRANSGENDER, you may also note that the majority of many of these incidents happened outside the US. Here is a link to more information on the Concern Troll.

Spotting the Anti-Trans Concern Troll. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/how-tospot-antitrans-con_b_8055816.html

Special note to parents Parents, How to deal with Transphobia http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Transphobic-Parents

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A transition horror story This was not placed in my book Through the Darkness. I am sharing it now during 2018 edit of my book before it is published in paperback and hardcover.

I have shortened this from its original form, the reason given at the end of the article.

During my transition; I was sexually assaulted not once but several times on multiple occasions. I had a cast on my arm from a previous assault when I pulled into my driveway one evening; I was grabbed by four men, beaten, and assaulted. At some point I was rendered unconscious, when I awoke I could taste their urine and my blood as they pissed on me when they were through. It was dark and I felt wet and cold, perhaps this is due to me bleeding.

I crawled out of a wooded area and down the side of a hill to my front door where I pulled myself up and put the key in the lock turned it and fell inside before blacking out.

My high functional autistic sister was staying with friends, as I knew I would be late getting home that evening. I had planned to shower then go pick her up after arriving home. A friend came to the house as she had been calling all night and there was no answer, my sister was also upset because I never picked her up.

My friend used her key and when she saw me she wanted to call an ambulance and I refused as I had been mistreated at the only hospital avail to me. A former EMT came over and patched me up and stated that one or two of my ribs may be broken so he taped them for me. After being driven to his home I returned to my house to find my high functional autistic sister in tears. My lady friend stayed roughly an hour until we could get my her at least half calmed down. I was happy she was not there when the rape occurred if they had known she was inside perhaps they may have tried to harm her.

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I used to carry a firearm and had a permit for it as well. I stopped carrying, as I did not want to lock my pistol in the boot all day while keeping the shells in a separate container.

I am relieved that I was not armed when I stepped out of my car as I feel I may have taken a life, and I assure you that I thought at one point they were going to take mine. I remember one of them yelling trannie, trannie, I am gonna put the love of Jesus in you trannie. Have my clothing torn off and being placed on my knees half-conscious while three men sexually assaulted, beat and abused me has placed a permanent mark on me. This was but one occasion and I survive several forms of abuse physically and emotionally.

I have no room on my being for another mark of emotional and or physical abuse, therefore, I have no forgiveness, mercy or compassion for those who will or have done me harm As for the assault I never reported it for you see I had no civil or human rights and the police had not exactly been kind to me.

I have not talked about the rape in decades except to my family, as it remains a traumatic experience in my life.

I chose not to share all of the sickening details regarding what took place as they still cause me to shake and vomit. . What happened to me was so vile and barbaric I did not want people to be upset by the details or mock me stating I deserved it and or they would have killed me. I have recently shared a few of the other abusive events. I experienced and met with a flood of you deserve to die, you are an abomination to God, f*** you trannie and as one stated quite clearly I would take pleasure in seeing you raped beaten and killed.

Pardon my disgruntled attitude while I am speaking of this now I am watching my America turn into a Fascists Theocracy supported by Godless black-hearted, evil and empty-souled fake Christians.

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What is now paramount to my life since I fell ill is spending the time I have with those I love and who love me in return.

The politicians and fake Christian radicles set out seeking to me may, in fact, have me killed or may yet kill me because I am standing in my truth and minding my own business. If this is so I welcome death as I have seen the other side and I have nothing to fear. The bigots say I am not normal, well if they are normal then I am glad I am not.

I wish to speak about the meaning of Normal for a moment or two.

Transsexual and Transgender people have no issue with the term â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Normalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; as they are aware of its meaning. Nevertheless, many in America today have an obsession with the term so much so they have all chosen to define it themselves. Depending on whom you speak with their denotations are no more than fabricated twaddle that frequently balances on the fringe of idiocy.

In fact, most wield their personal definition of the Normal as if some all defining word that paints them to be supreme beings rendering the Transsexual individual as insignificant peons which is a desperate act of a nitwit doing their best to get you to believe their nonsense. When I hear the word Normal being tossed into a conversation I roll my eyes. Still, this is but one of many terms dogmatist employ to quantify their endless stream of uneducated and intolerant opinions, of Transsexual and Transgender individuals.

Every word they speak is void of any degree discernable substantiation. Their facts are based on their own opinions.

This course of action is not only absurd I find it alarming at how confused those who construct such untruths mislead themselves.

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Sadly these individuals invest themselves so deeply in their own fabrications to them what they speak of must be true.

There are also those who present false information as fact then present an empirically flawed argument.

What do we mean by Normal?

By Eric R. Maisel Ph.D. Rethinking mental health It’s time to rethink Normal and Abnormal https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rethinkingpsychology/201111/what-do-we-mean-normal

US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health Defining and measuring gender: A social determinant of health whose time has come http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1180842/

Gender and Sex is there a difference.

The APA's position“American Psychiatric Association” https://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/sexualitydefinitions.pdf Medical News Today http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232363.php

Transgender and Transsexual the difference http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsex ual http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Trans sexual#Is_There_a_Difference_Between_Transgender_and_ Transsexual.3F

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Gender Definitions http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm

Transsexual depression http://depression-guide.com/transsexualism.htm http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wpcontent/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

Transsexual/Transgender suicide rate Post-Op http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wpcontent/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

This came as a surprise Trans Porn is most popular in Anti-Trans states. I am shocked and appalled, ad sarcasm.

As I have said many times before the best defense is a good offense. https://youtu.be/YOijkueM-RA

When WHO assigns our Gender https://medium.com/the-establishment/when-whoassigns-our-genders-who-assigns-our-genders8e1e64b1f765

My awkward adventures with makeup and clothing During my transition aside from having brief difficulties in several areas, you shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen me put on makeup for the first time.

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I looked like a clown crossed with a tropical fish, seriously. I had so much blue eyeshadow on I could have joined the circus. Of course, I was in tears and thinking back on it now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hilarious.

Believe it or else I did not need that much help with make-up, I just had to know what colors enhanced my face and how much as I obviously used too much. The toughest for me was eyeliner; I stuck myself in the eye once or twice. I wish I had a film of my most awkward moments with makeup.

As a child I had observed mum putting on her make up once or twice, she remarked to my auntie never leave the house unless you have your look and are dressed to the nines.

Of course, I had no freggin idea what she meant until decades later.

I had wardrobe plans for when I completed the transition. All of these beautiful dresses lined up in my closet.

After three years of transition, I decided that jeans and tops were to my liking and went for a more conservative look makeup-wise.

The bare minimum unless going to a fancy dress affair.

In twenty-three-plus years I have only been asked a handful of times by those who know me and I told them every day with makeup you must enhance who you are, not smother who you are in powder, cheesy eyeshadow and outrageous neon lipstick.

I observed mum putting on her make up once or twice, she remarked to my auntie never leave the house unless you have your look and are dressed to the nines.

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My first experience with a girdle, oh God only a man would invent such a contraption and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get me started on pantyhose.

Once I crammed my skinny body into this thing I felt like a sausage being stuffed into a casing wah- lah. I still dislike them mind you they are ok for shaping but if you have some fat the fat has to go somewhere and no matter how hard you try to conceal a portion of that fat it is going to be visible to some degree. Quite a lesson and I was thin at the time at 150 lbs.

Shoes another issue until a Transsexual in the program gave me a size correction chart. I ordered them by mail for the most part and did find a few pairs that fit the boats I call my feet.

Jeans, tops, dresses, bras panties etc I ordered by mail.

The first time I ever when shopping in a big way was with my daughter who took me to a mall. She asked me if she could call me Kathryn and I said sure. She said the reason I ask is calling you Dad would sound pretty bloody stupid and we both laughed.

She treated me to a makeover and all the makeup to go with it.

I tried on all sorts of clothing and she even stood outside the trying room to give her opinion on how I looked.

It was hilarious when one of the sales gals said something flippant to my daughter, she came back with such witty sarcasm I put my hand over my mouth to hide the laughter.

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Things changed when they rang up the receipt. My daughter handed her a credit card and her business card to the clerk. She leaned in on the lady handing her the receipt and I heard her say you give this lady any bit of a hard time or disrespect I will be back for my business card and you.

Shit just got serious, my smile vanished and my good mood took a dive. I was sick as a dog anyway. She wanted to go out to eat at someplace posh and all I could handle was a cheeseburger from Burger-rat.

I sat and cried like hell in the car over what happened until she pulled off the road and looked at me. She said look, Dad, I love you and no one is going to fuck with you as long as I am around, (mind you she is a lawyer), you did the same for me many times in my life now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my turn.

She then apologized for speaking so loudly I could hear, then added it would have been fuck all right then if I told her I was going to shove my three hundred dollar shoes up her ass one at a time, the look on her face with my shoes hangin out her erse would have been classic. I laughed then fell asleep in her rented car.

By the end of transition I had discovered loose clothing and no worries.

We are all who we are on the inside without clothing, clothing does not define who we are it is merely an expression of our taste, in some cases, peoples lack thereof.

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Is my being Transsexual a choice?

Why not ask me why I wanted to be born. Frankly, I would have preferred staying in my heaven when I died again in 2009. Alas, I was born with a body that did not match my brain. Effectively I was born with an appendage in lay terms a birth defect. I did not have a choice to be born, so the answer is no.

Fact is no matter what people say or do they will not change who I am, and my happiness matters more to me than their uneducated opinions, implications, baseless assertions and demands.

Kath did you Transition just to have sex?

No. Why is there a surge in Transphobia?

The true axis of evil: the Clergy, Media and Politicians.

There are gullible imbeciles who believe every thing these three groups feed them.

Trans suicide are you the cause or the solution? https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wpcontent/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf\ The Invisible and Visible Transsexual/Transgender Activist I speak from experiences There is the Transsexual activist who is constantly visible in the community then there is the invisible activist.

My only thought upon entering transition was meeting my goals completing transition and getting on with my life.

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I never thought of myself as an activist but by answering tasteful questions of the professional and lay community during Transition I would become well known to so many people outside the area in which I live as what one young nurse kindly called me â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Invisible Activist.â&#x20AC;?

I had somehow managed to remain very much behind the scenes and in nineteen ninety-five this was wise, as I was being beaten and abused for being myself.

Obtaining the Fulcrum filled with information certain people in the community had been trying to get their handson for several years was a dangerous leap of faith in my fellow beings. I accomplished this task quietly and once again behind the scenes.

My contact with the then small Transsexual community was limited by frequent physical illness and by choice.

At my own behest after a being treated cruelly during a hospital stay in Bedford, Pa I requested that the hospital permit me to speak with the nursing staff in the hopes that as professionals they would want to learn and understand more pertaining to Gender Identity Disorder. This was done behind the scenes in a large conference room and to be honest there was not a lot of interest.

However, a few nurses expressed a need to learn more so I answered as many of their questions as I could then referred them several books written by doctors and lawyers in the fields of gender studies. I recall one nurse saying to me my God how could people be so mean to you I became a nurse to heal people not hurt them.

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I visited other medical facilities where I also spoke answered questions and referred those interested to books written by people like Shelia Kirk, M.D. and Martine Rothblatt, J.D., Martine signed a copy of her book to me when it was published, later she sent me a very nice personal letter.

There were books written by individuals working in the field of behavioral psychology specifically those addressing and treating patients with gender dysphoria and the various details and issues facing the pre-op Transsexual.

When I spoke to these groups, I dressed conservatively. I suggest you leave the bright red or orange lipstick at home as well the high heels, miniskirts, and high fashion clothing.

Wear a nice pair of jeans, a solid color top, not bright red or pink but a soft color.

When you present to professionals such as nurses they are more receptive to conservative manners of dress, a smile, and polite attitude. When speaking in public I suggest you dress for the occasion and remember when people look at you, they are looking at everyone in the Transsexual community.

An internet activist is highly visible to the public; if you wish to promote the Transsexual or the MTF Transgender community do so tastefully. First off know your facts, research them and validate them using professional statements, not blog supposition. Speak clearly, stay on topic, and if you must state an opinion clarifying that the statement is your own opinion.

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The professional and public at large are not interested in seeing your selfies they are interested in what you have to say, selfies and a catalog of pictures of you in various outfits may look nice to you they also present you as someone who is insecure and childish to the public. To the public, this is also a deterrent and a distraction as well a poor representation of the community.

I suggest using one tasteful photo of yourself, not scantily dressed but with your best face on, a headshot.

Should you feel a full photo is required dressed conservatively dress like a school teacher not like you would for a party.

Since the public has a limited attention span it is wise to only run your photo now and then not constantly.

Otherwise, they will simply look at your face not you talking points and move on.

Be engaging and approachable talk to people, strike up a conversation and you will learn far more from an audience than you will with a simple Q&A If you seek attention disregard everything I have said and once again let this sink in real deep the public sees you as an example of the Transsexual/Transgender community be responsible not self-centered and think of the lives of others in the community, because your vanity may flame the fires of hate and get someone maybe yourself killed.

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Compliments a sudden tearful realization.

After the reluctant and pressed disclosure of my GRS on the internet, I received a great deal of mail unrelated to my psychic abilities. Aside from the rubbish and hateful remarks with regard to GRS, I was blessed to have received several letters from people thanking me for my disclosure and then there were others that evoked great emotion.

A young woman had written and asked me why would you go mainstream Kath, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been stealth for decades?

She had written me a three-page letter noting she was being mentored by a woman that shared her own transition story.

As it turns out the woman she spoke of not only told her she knew me but also proceeded to itemize many not all of the things I had done during my transition that helped her and the Transsexual community.

She added that it was thought by several that I had passed away even hearing rumors of my having helped other Transsexuals a rumor is a rumor.

This womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mentor was, in fact, someone I had helped and although her transition had taken place in a major city, she had a very difficult time.

The young lady who authored this letter referred to me as one of the Transsexual Pioneers and Silent Heroes that she looks up to on her journey.

I am no Pioneer, Martine Rothblatt and Shelia Kirk, are pioneers when their book was released Sheila sent me a signed copy of Medical, Legal & Workplace Issues for the Transsexual; she later sent me a personal handwritten letter wishing me the best on my journey.

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The young lady went on to mention several of the bold accomplishments that I had long forgotten, and I intentionally left out of Through the Darkness.

I disagree with being called a Pioneer but it is her right to make this statement.

Nevertheless, I had not realized all I had experienced survived and done, would have brought about such awareness and positive change not only for those with Gender Dysphoria but those who may be pursuing answers regarding their own Gender Identity or someone else who wishes to know the facts with regard to gender dysphoria.

Concerning the letter, other things said and expressed to me, when I read the last paragraph, I stopped and began to cry uncontrollably. I suddenly understood that indeed all of the things I did then matter now!

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My awakening to further truths in June 2015 Having endured such things that others may have surely faded from, I now feel comfortable with the compliments and accolades recently bestowed upon me.

Perhaps the greatest of all is that the actions of myself and others may have saved someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life in the future by way of our sacrifices.

Present day society although imperfect is in some ways easier to navigate for the Transsexual with a lot less resistance and negativity from state and federal workers.

Many Healthcare facilities including Hospitals are now accommodating Transsexual people. There are also laws against mistreating Transsexual people in these facilities.

I live my truth, I have done so the past two-plus decades and will do so the rest of this life. Having also been called brave by numerous people over the years at this moment I realize that what I had done was indeed brave.

My transition evokes but few sour emotions I discussed several of them in the book, for the most part, it is the joy in knowing that I did, in fact, overcome many obstacles, at times they overwhelmed me.

What I find rewarding is my breaking a few barriers and a changing a few rules along the way, best of all I helped others like me in in their futures.

Having completed my transition I am no longer considered an intense true Transsexual, I am in all accordance with the law female most importantly I am myself a complete person.

With the exception of my medical records reading born male, no other legal or personal documents reflect this, as I have said I am no longer considered an intense Transsexual.

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All things being said should someone feel a need to add anything to my publication, should you desperately need to say I missed something, or seek to correct me, one up me, attempt to belittle or define me, I say feck off.

To those who would twist facts and valid statements while injecting their opinions and thereby presenting them, as facts do not. My advice to you is to write your own fucking book!

As for any and all negative opinions, I suggest you take them to some faraway land where people may give a flying fuck about them.

Speaking of negative, the majority of those in my family were bad for my health. I do not wish to call them a malignent cancer they were more like a painful festering boil that gets into that area you can not quite reach with a washcloth. I will no longer tolerate people of this nature nor will I permit them to enter my heart or my home.

Furthermore, I have no need of any one's validation as a woman. Spare me the endorsement as to say to me I respect you as a woman, I know I am a woman.

I have taken the beatings physically and emotionally, I have been raped and literally been pissed on after being beaten unconscious. I lived and learned what is written between the pages of my life, through my own blood, bruises, and tears. . Although my health records are noted at the bottom born male I no longer care unless it becomes an issue to a provider.

I may refer to myself as a Transsexual to make a valid point during a conversation regarding gender dysphoria and in fact, I am a woman, who was a Transsexual. Why would I remain on the same path of defining myself as a Transsexual after having accomplished the task of finding and understanding myself then moving forward and making a life for myself?

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Being a Transsexual that is active in the community comes with great responsibility.

For those who so choose to advocate you are the representatives and educators that society sees as the example that may shape a positive future.

You are not crusaders or conquerors; you are delegates and ambassadors so choose your words and actions wisely. Be kind in the face of ignorance walk away, be the better person and do not give in to the hatred, bigotry, and fear.

The Transsexual/Transgender help center These resources are a must read and must have for every Transsexual/Transgender individual and or any interested parties.

None of the resources stated below were available to me during my transition in the nineties. I have included updated standards of care published by WPATH formerly the Harry Benjamin association. I ask you dinnae complain if one of these links does not magically resolve your issues, you cannot expect others to do it all for you so chin up and rise abouve it.

During my transition, I was grateful when someone treated me like a human being or called me by my legal name Kathryn.

For the majority of Transsexual/Transgender issues, this link is another doorway to the facts and the resources that are often needed by the Transsexual/Transgender individual during transition and after.

The Transgender law center below has a US map with a menu next to it. There you can choose from a variety of issues by state. http://transgenderlawcenter.org/equalitymap

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Important note regarding the Harry Benjamin Association.

I reference the Benjamin scale throughout the book The Harry Benjamin society changed its name several years ago http://www.hrc.org/resources/world-professionalassociation-for-transgender-health-wpath http://www.transequality.org/ Updated Standards of care http://lgbtqi2stoolkit.org/pdf/WPATH_Standards.pdf

The Southern poverty law center is an excellent resource. Please do explore their site there is a plethora of information there. List of active hate groups. This list is not complete. https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligencereport/2015/active-anti-lgbt-groups

Anti Violence http://www.transequality.org/issues/anti-violence

The ACLU https://www.aclu.org/ The Transgender law center below has a US map with a menu next to it. Self-explanatory. http://transgenderlawcenter.org/equalitymap The APA online http://www.apaonline.org/search/all.asp?c=&bst=Transgend er+mental+illness The Transsexual/ Transgender gender equality map http://transgenderlawcenter.org/equalitymap Links below are self-explanatory http://www.vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/transgender-rights/ Inclusion in health care http://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-inclusive-benefitsfor-employees-and-dependent

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Know your rights as a Transsexual.

If America truly lived by the virtues of liberty and freedom protected by our Politicians and leaders no one would be concerned with their rights as everyone would be equal. Here is the link. http://www.transequality.org/know-your-rights Medicare, transition-related care including hormones. http://www.transequality.org/know-your-rights/medicare Nursing home and personal care facilities rights. http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-yourrights/transgender/trans-seniors-faq Open enrollment health care for the Transsexual/Transgender individual http://www.transequality.org/getting-covered-while-transan-open-letter-on-open-enrollment For counseling call Persad at this number 1-888-873-7723 or go to https://persadcenter.org/pages/transgender-services The Dr. Harry Benjamin standards of care is a must read, it is a wealth of information regarding the Transsexual. http://lgbt.wikia.com/wiki/Benjamin_scale http://www.twentyclub.net/docs/bscale.html

Sex isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t chromosomes: the story of a century of misconceptions about X & Y http://www.newstatesman.com/future-proof/2015/02/sexisn-t-chromosomes-story-century-misconceptions-about-x-y More on Transsexual/Transgender rights https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/transgender-peopleand-law https://www.aclu.org/map/non-discrimination-laws-statestate-information-map

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The bathroom myth debunked https://www.mediamatters.org/research/2014/03/20/15experts-debunk-right-wing-transgender-bathro/198533 Bathroom issue debunked by GLAAD Pro-Trans bathrooms https://issuu.com/glaad/docs/debunking_the_bathroom_bill_ myth_20 https://truthwithbeau.wordpress.com/2017/10/18/bathroom-billrapists/ The Transsexual/Transgender voter http://www.transequality.org/issues/voting-rights

The facts concerning regret post-GRS. Please visit the links posted with this article. The article itself is a synopsis the links are quite in-depth and validated.

I hear the usual bigoted, uneducated liars or internet parrots tossing about percentage numbers and outright falsities as to the valid numbers related to surgical regret experienced by post-op Transsexual well here are the facts. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/mythsabout-transition-regrets_b_6160626.html

Other valid and useful information regarding GRS regret. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/262734734_An_A nalysis_of_All_Applications_for_Sex_Reassignment_Surgery_i n_Sweden_1960-2010_Prevalence_Incidence_and_Regrets https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274833229_Psych osocial_outcome_and_quality_of_sexual_life_after_sex_reassign ment_surgery_An_Italian_multicentric_study

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Living my truth by using all of this lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s collective knowledge and experiences.

I have no regrets. I planned layout and executed such things that in effect made the statement I had left the planet earth. I had intended to leave my then situation anyway because I had become tired of being used, rather than engaged in endless arguments I settled all my debts and left.

Some, including my first wife until recently, assumed I was deceased. My three true friends who later decided they could no longer associate with me because of their religion and their familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assertions that I am an abomination to God abandoned me and in so doing, spared me the misery of their religious rhetoric. With exceptions, most of my family disowned me and that suited me to the ground.

From transition to completion and beyond, I have done what needed to be done with very little help, through illness, time living alone and even living in a ghetto for several years.

I am so happy for those who have supportive families. I hope these Transsexual and Transgender individuals fully appreciate their love and do their best to accommodate and educate them with kind words and tolerance for their occasional lack of understanding. Learn and grow together, let this interaction strengthen your relationships not weaken it.

Jotter letter publication.

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A somber offering fell from the lips of a dying woman.

I wish I could say with crystal clarity that Transphobia will come to pass in my lifetime and I cannot. Permit me to offer this encompassing truth and say I will not live to see the day when all Americans are treated as equals.

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With deep conviction, I say equality in America has ever existed in or on anything other than a well-intended and compassionate thought etched into brief libretti with a blood-soaked quill dipped in iron gall cast.

This text applied with great reverence and faith that all shall be free of religious and political tyranny that these mandates set by the hands of honorable men as a pledge that all shall stand and remain with liberty and justice for all.

These great men constructed and set the foundation of our America and their plighted convictions have now faded from their purpose as if ancient specters.

Now, these assurances scarcely discernible set drenched in the blood of those who risked and gave their lives for our liberty and equal freedoms for all.

This liberty, our liberty, these vows now flout as relics treated as so many pieces of silt thereby kept by unwise guardians, custodians of these torn and tattered declarations forever enshrined on a meaningless piece of parchment treated as animal skin. Then to be sold as facsimiles to the tourist who believe patriotism is merely prologue and death.

The most formidable of testationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;sâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; resound of their truths and compassionate cause for without parity we remain yoked, imposed and afflicted, indeterminately in a retro-causation of the apartheid beset us by the debauchery of those who have made the philosophical choice to embrace the lies of evil.

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The time has come The enemies of this equal freedom for Americans upon their inception for and by our republic do so loathe a certainty that chairs all Americans equal to one and another. Much as the brown shirts of old these adversaries of equal freedoms proclaim that Trans individuals be beaten or murdered on sight. For you see there is profit in conflict more so than in peace alas many are doomed to partake of it as they have chosen witlessness in place of enlightenment.

These terrified afflicters of despair are goaded by their unrelenting fear of being revealed and held to account by the people for their criminal acts as they continue to plot and launch constant offensives. The good offense has proven the best defense for the guilty.

Such are these false Kings for they are iniquitous creatures cloaking themselves as Gods children thereby feeding off the public's fear and blind devotion so they may then give credence to every fabrication without question of validity.

Thusly such misdirected misrepresentations are promoted and morphed into gruesome objects to be marginalized by the publicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite news networks, televangelist, clergy, politicians, and the internets inane drones, revered for their bigoted buffoonery, boorish aphorisms, and execrable portentous proclamations.

Our empty suited elected congressional and senatorial ordure of all parties to fret with trepidation that it never be discovered they are so many murderers, pedophiles, thieves, sexual sadist, philanderers, and rapist.

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To perpetuate these illusions a goat must be prepared and slaughtered daily insight of the world and projected by media propagandizers as to draw such attentive and curious eyes away from the persecutionsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; wanton depravity. This transphobia is a diabolically constructed folly continually quenched by the blood of so many dead Transgender/ Transsexual individuals. The dark and bloody works of these destroyers shall move forward without hesitation and with such fury as to surmount the lands and seas with such throng as to breach the Aether.

All that the destroyersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; self-righteousness and murderous sin be revealed as the truth that it is by their individual choice they assemble such tributes at the feet of their psychotic and hateful God of darkness.

These friendless flotsam continue to rip and tear the very notion of equality asunder, there will be no free America for us, no reprieve, no pardon as once they have accomplished this genocide of Transgender/Transsexual individuals they will select a fresh goat. While they seek out the goat they will find their own reflections and disregard them with haste as they are carelessly driven by thirst.

A thirst for the total destruction of all and anyone they choose to see as flawed and is a marketable objectifiable target for the public.

As history repeats itself, once the slaughter of innocents is over the destroyers declare their God has commanded these deeds be performed in his name. Therefore, these medieval wretches shall bear no culpability by way of their legal religious freedom shields.

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Their shields carefully constructed in pools of bigotry and God-hating lunacy grants them pardon for such horrific acts as they are commanded by their hideous, bloodthirsty God and their deeply held religious beliefs. The party of theocratic fascist will boast of victories to then welter in their bile brimmed with ignorance and stupidity. These pretentious acts are driven and endorsed by drunken powermad politicians and charlatans fleecing their constituents and flocks of their immortality and meager balances of current accounts.

Such actions unrealized by a blind, devastated, and misdirected public as these shameful endeavors give not praise to Gods glory, diametrically purposed to glut thine own unholy coffers with blood and treasure by and through the punctilious and diabolical manipulations of misled fanatical simpletons.

When they come, I question who will have such mettle as to afford us sanctuary. Various doors are closed even now and it may be a crime to give us sanctuary or to conceal us.

Some of us will flee; others shall fight while several; will fall. Will the Christian terrorist who claim to speak for their benevolent God give pardon to our families and friends?

Will they hang them or put a bullet through their heads then toss them beside those of us who have fallen into a shallow grave filled with multitudes of cadavers.

In conclusion â&#x20AC;&#x153;My heart is broken and my faith in the compassion and empathy for each and all that once defined our America is gone.

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We all of us are being systematically exterminated merely for our existence and there will be no Calvary dispatched for our inclusion. There will continue to be cameras recording videos of our being beaten and executed.

An exponential stream of videos created by selfish ill-bred scum for youtube likes and viewing on the nightly news.

Americans are terrified and afraid that they may be asked to interrupt their day and verbally or physically asked to stand up for the freedom, liberty, and justice of their fellow Americans.

We have battlefields and cemeteries filled with men and women who gave their all for what? That ignorant religious zealot can belittle and harm other Americans who also fought and have family who fought for freedom because they believe their God has deemed some more equal than others.

My sixth gen great Granda and Grand Uncles fought in the Revolutionary War at the great battle of Monmouth N.J., and for what, that some Anti-American cult masquerading as a Christian American should appropriate my freedoms and liberty?

The blood and tears of my family and the families of others will not be forgotten that a madman may wash away their deeds for being a part and party to the birth to our Nation. A Christ-hating buffoon would only dare think that our freedom and liberty for all is theirs for the taking just to accommodate and pacify the bigotry and hate taught by a sick and twisted religion.

Franklin Graham and John Hagee have bigoted loonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fallen out of their arses.

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Why did generations of my American family fight for the freedom of others and ourselves in the Civil War, WWI, and WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and the Gulf? Why and for What?

I say to the true Christians please take your religion back as it is now under the control of Christ-hating apostates of hell.

The CINO ( Christian in name only) are dragging Christ through their false Gods dens of inequity, division, and wickedness.

I am not a Christian but my Christian father taught me, in his own words, “in all you do, you make Christ your partner when you refuse to help those seeking to stand even with you; you make Christ your partner. When you judge another you make Christ your partner when you intentionally harm another you make Christ your partner.

When you do nothing to help someone being unjustly denied their liberty, freedom, and happiness you make Christ your partner” If you are willing to gamble with your salvation continue to do nothing and look the other way, continue with your indifference as your fellow Americans are being tortured and slaughtered for their existence.

Press on in your torpor and once the theocratic fascists come for you, and they will it’s only an instant in time before you do something they find fault with and there will be no one left to help you.

I never thought I would speak the words fear, terrified and American in one pointed article, indeed I spoke them and they are distressing words of truth.

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Within such killing and unrest, this America has become a vile place set so deep in its own oblivion even the light of compassion, empathy and acceptance fail to penetrate the depths of human consciousness.

Those who claim to speak for God are loathsome creatures scuttling about the darkness doing the business of their master that doth not step into the light.

Be assured my soul is prepared to leave this God forsaken place and I have no fear of death.

These foolish spokespersons of God who are mere men hiding behind a wall of cowardice and closeted sexual orientations have condemned themselves.

History reprises itself that treacherous evildoers shall stew in their admonition plotting to depose of their virtuous God. Upon sluicing their hands in the blood of the one called I amâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children that they have cut and divided to ribbons they shall anoint themselves with the sustenance of civilization so declaring to be Gods unto themselves in their ego-eccentrical hauteur.

Evil men and women do so fear the curtain of death for they intrinsically have a collective knowing within their dwindling light that they shall be devoured thru their constructed psychosis. Enthralled and exited of their Sadistic acquisitiveness thru observing the pain and suffering they continue to inflict upon those who have the courage to leap from denial and live within their personal truth. One's happiness doth bring forth such excruciating and corporal agony that it renders bitter truths of repulsive cretins, thusly indemnifying a subsequent revisitation to diffidence and self-loathing.

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I beg no pardon for my lack of sorrow or consideration for these enemiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; of humanity. I care nothing of them nor their existence. By having seen and endured the cruel lash of their whips by their sharpened hatred these inhuman entities are void of love which has therefore rendered them pitiful, abandoned but for of their social anxiety disorders.

For want to suckle the light of life itself thru the suffering of those they torment they shall wander soulless and obsessive in their quest for interminable victims till the crack of doom.

As an American patriot, I shall stand with my last breath for freedom and liberty for all. As an American citizen, I am offended.

Kath Campbell 2015

A Final word I offer this to those about to begin or who have begun their journey as Transsexuals. Maintain your appearance and make it secondary to what is first and foremost forever is your identity.

It is such a vulgar and ham-fisted world we live in as lies are propounded to be indisputable truths while the truths themselves are suppressed by religious, political, and self-proclaimed tyrants who practice heresy, sedition, and oppression.

These enemies of the people use the propaganda of fear, division, and twisted religious scripture to incite tribalism and hate in order to fuel the fires that are burning American into dust while making themselves extremely wealthy.

What stirs my emotions to this day is that some zealot may decide to kill me because he or she thinks itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s their Christian duty and they are doing Godsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; work.

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This is something you would think of happening in some faraway land ruled by religious fanatics; I never thought that such a place would be my United States of America. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I do not live behind walls I live in front of experiences facing each new day looking forward to the best of it and on into the next tomorrow.â&#x20AC;?

With tears in my eyes let it be said of me that I continue to live in the now, still, I am ever mindful of what is past but not residing there, having the comfort in knowing that my soul remains unchanged for I am now and have always been Kathryn.

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Thank you A special thank you and a big hug to the center of my universe for their unconditional love, understanding, and compassion over the years.

Thank you to my amazing daughter in law for going to great lengths in order that my son and I may begin again. Thank you to my son for making the effort to move forward into a bright future. Thank you to my grandchildren for accepting and not judging me.

A big thank you to my best friend Jeanne whose love and friendship I shall always cherish.

Thank you to the Transgender Law Center for all they do and make possible today.

Thank you to the other silent heroes for your courage under fire; know that every positive step you have taken and or take to help others will help others in the times to come.

Thanks to James my twenty-some years past therapist. One of the finest professionals and human beings I have ever known.

Thank you to the PhDs, MDs, Therapist, and gender sciences specialist who were also a major part of my then and surely not forgotten in my now.

Thanks to those who are making the effort to learn and understand what Gender Dysphoria is as well the related issues in order that they may inspire other like-minded individuals who seek answers and knowledge to help resolve their concerns.

Special thanks to those who have been kind, accepting, and supportive of me through the years.

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To everyone who has asked me well thought out questions while seeking a better understanding of gender dysphoria thank you.

I am so blessed by family and friends please know that I thank you for permitting me to be part of your life and I would be a lesser person if you were not part of mine.

My cup runneth over.

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