Dactc final preparations 3 5 16

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DEEPLY AWAKE COFFEE TALKS & CHANNELING By Kathy Vik “Final Preparations” 3-5-16 www.kathyvik.com www.lightworkers.org/magartha www.deeplyawake.tumblr.com It’s time to talk. My time of reflection is, thankfully, over, for now. I have been asking a central question for some time now. What do you do when the unthinkable happens? When the wall you’ve been careening toward, and you, make final impact. When the bottom falls out. When your very definition, by definition, must change. What then? I drove away from a happy, loving, hope-giving event last night pondering quite a few things. What I had told my friend came back to me. I have spent the last 43 years within institution’s walls. I have been a part of the institutional mindset, and I have been part of that machine. For 43 years. At the bedside, firmly nestled in the bosom of the system. And I realized, my words fresh and poking me, giggling, as I got on the highway, well, hell, that’s double the planet time of many of those party goers. That’s enough to make a grumpy middle aged man. 43 years. Holy fuck. It took all that time, and series of cataclysms, for me to get here, where I can state with a smile, I don’t ever have to do it again! I recognize that breaking from the idea that I get my income passively, after showing up and performing within agreed upon parameters, that’s been my life, and now, through a series of events and circumstance, brought on by a desire so hot and strong its realization is simply inevitable, I can release it all, and actually, I am in a position where I have no other choice. And given my stubbornness, of course that’s how it came down. So, here I am, 55 years old, retired from nursing, finally, happily, suddenly. I have had a few good attempts at this in the past few years, times when I have tried to strike out and have been turned back, but, this time is different. I am met by friends, by open arms, by smiling faces and helpful hearts. It has been an amazing, welcoming experience, where before, it was simply dark and empty and not ready yet, like a stage with all the props in boxes, no lighting of note, just boards and expectation. I have worried those boards so often, and now, as I stepped onto the stage, I found that the lighting is warm, the actors are in place, the music is fine, and there is absolutely not one thing to be afraid of, ever. I like it when things happen fast, and I welcome the things that seem final. For all the resistance I put up, when it finally happens, it feels fanfuckingtastic, like, why didn’t I do this twenty years ago? But, oh my god, I am living proof that, when it’s time, it’s time and when it isn’t, it isn’t. It just isn’t Give it the fuck up. As I rearrange, I realize just how resistive I had been. I had it in my mind so firm that being in


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Dactc final preparations 3 5 16 by Kathy Vik - Issuu