Rally Zine: issue 03

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M I SSI ON : Rally Zine is a digital zine dedicat ed t o demanding equalit y, equit y, and >4o

visibility for people of all ident it ies, including, but not lim it ed t o. folks who are: Wo m en. Women of color. M en of color. Xicanx. Chicanx. Latinx. M uslim. M iddle East ern. Jewish. Black. African. Brown. Indian. Indigenous. Nat ive. American Indian. First Nat ions. Pilipinx. Asian. Pacific Islander. Neurodiverse. Not- able bodied. Disabled. Undocument ed. Immigrant . Second generat ion American. Deaf. Non- English speakers. Q

LGBTQA- I- . Poor. Lower middle class. Varying educat ion backgrounds. Agender. Trans/ Transgender. Queer. Genderqueer/ gender nonconforming/ gender nonbinary. Our means for demanding equalit y, equit y, and visibility is by producing a zine t hat is available for free online so t hat folks from different communit ies, count ries, and identities can read t hese works. Our intent is not t o speak on behalf of any communit y or identity, but to give folks from various backgrounds t he chance t o discuss t he complex layers of identity that inform how we see ourselves in relation t o ot her people and t he world. The t heme of this edit ion is " Shad es." I M PORTAN T N O T E: The goal of Rally Zine is t o be accessible t o folks of varying

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identities and life experiences. The writ ing st yle, t opics, lengt h, and format of each work included in this zine were decided by t he individual writ er/ creat or and were only edit ed for grammat ical error and problemat ic language. The opinions and views of each work is that of t he aut hor, not Rally Zine as a whole. However, our st ance as a zine is t o support and provide a platform for t hese creat ors t o convey t heir opinions t o our readers and respect / promot e difference of opinion so t hat we can learn from one anot her. SU BM I SSI ON S: Folks who are int erest ed in submit t ing/ cont ribut ing t o future project s from this zine can send subs t o kat linsweeneyl 720@gmail.com and/ or visit rallyzine.wordpress.com. O

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Introduction Joseph Balderama-Cortez. The Temple of Selene" Rhiannon Ripley, "Balance" Katlin Sweeney, "Look Up_" Kendra Rtzpatrick "Hours in a Week" Anne S. Hall, "Because You Love Me" Leann Leite, "Mother of a Mother" Jessica Olinger, "Art Therapy Katlin Sweeney, "Wasteland" , B. Belmonte, "A Grape's SkirT

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Christopher Cervantes-Hernandez. "Post-Election Activism" Marie Parrish, "How to Live When You're Dying" Seth D. Slater, "For My People" Katlin Sweeney, "Wings" Author Bios Upcoming Edition

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Amonqst the deep spectrum of blues dancing above, lay the moon, shining her light upon the ocean and the land. My mother, she reflected beneath my feet as 1 ran where the water met the sands of the shore. Ttie stars gathered, spectating as the waves sang their song while they crashed into my body, some more powerflil than those before them. 1 ran and ran. gently leaving the smallest imprint in the sand with the tip of my toes, only for it to be washed away with the coming waves. Boundless fVom that of which no longer holds a positive presence, 1 feel my ver/ existence surging ever so powerfully through the veins across my body.

My body comes to a stop, and behind me, speckled across Ocean Beach, stood my friends. W e are here together, under the same Moon, the same stars, beside the same ocean- together. Our ancestors come from different lands, different origins, yet we all are here in this moment. Beings of light and love dancing amongst the beautiful complexities of life itself. A community of queers supporting one another as we manifest greater possibilities.



Yesterday, \d in the mirror paused, spun in circles, then descended back down that rocky slope 1 wander when I remember I have a face

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and people look when 1 do, or don't glance back It's odd, 1 guess, to consider how people can see me when 1 stare at pavement cracks or stop signs or squint towards the distant, feign 1 see someone 1 actually want to greet. But this planet's populated with people in all corners of a map, globe, world.

It's hard to hide, what with all of those location finders, GPS, and Google Maps. It's all good, in theory, but I can't locate confidence when someone strikes up conversation or glances a little longer than three seconds. People scoff. Maybe, I'm j u s t paranoid. Better yet? Vain. Because

if you look in mirrors and do slow turns instead of quick jogs past all those reflective surfaces, face it, you must love the face facing back at you.

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Right? Wrong. When did we start telling girls that mirrors are evil things, stretches of uncomfortable land where we can't roam for fear of hurt feelings or • "

I bruised eyes. We can falsity, say those I warnings against walks near mirrors are protective measures to make sure we don't lose sight of what's important.

1 think it's crafting band aids from loose wounds, makes your hands into covers that shield your eyes from your mind, body, waistline 'cause if you can't see yourself, you can't


We only have so much time in a day, in a week in a month, and the world offers another ten ways to spend that time with every step we take. Go to the coffee shop for lunchl Shop here for GREAT DEALSl Watch this video (and all the recommended videos in the queue) and stick around for the comment section afterward! Travel here for once in a lifetime experiences! Get your hair done so you look your best! Buy some more make up! Shop! Eat! Entertain! Travel! Consume, consume, consume! -r

But remember, our time is finite.

i i And how do we decide the order in which we spend the time we hove? We prioritiie WeTecognize what is most important, and we focus on that +h,ng until we dh r finish our t a T or can do it no longer. Money oftentimes comes first We worK Or we worK towards working. W e spend our hours pouring our time into tre money we need to do the things we want to do, and then we do them_ Xe Z set asideToments for meals, and we may set aside hi^e to ^eep and fe^^ rested, but those exercises take time awayfiromthe other things. From the things we need.

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rve found myself strugolmg with the things 1 need in recent months. 1 need to work eioht hoursVday to get poid. i need to do my school work to keep my grades. 1

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"^"""S-' ^° I ™n breathe. 1 need to know my life won t be over ,f 1 don't watch every movie and TV show on Netfllx or read 3 ^ k in the library. I need to focus less on those things that spark my anxie^ and ^ore on those things that help me relax. And I need to realize I'm Just one S l n q c l X that will never live to close the last oaoe of the lox t hnev JH..., VT the last video. There will always be m . r e ^ e r e will never be an end. But 1 won't ever p because 1 will never be happy with stagnation. The only thing 1 can hope for is : across the next project too big for completion in my lifetime. ,-,nn.r

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And 1 hope you can too.

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You told me 1 could do anything... Yet, for you, nothing was good enough.

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You called me a whore when 1 was my own person... Yet, had no idea why you felt like labeling me as such. You always had demands of me... Yet, you insisted 1 be fVee.

• You always had me answer to your despair... • Despite the fact that 1 was beyond your reach. 1 You always said you love me... 1 Those were the times that most made me cry. 1 did my best to always hold in my anger.. 1 had no idea it never truly worked.

1 acted like a bully. 1 madejokes. 1 was a force to recon with. My entourage was one to dote. 1 fed on power. I fed on speed. Adrenaline soon became all thought 1 would ever need.


No matter what the hate and anger try to offer me 1 stop and remember that 'that's you.' I'm not the one with the insecurity... Though I've been force fed self doubt and reality that was askew. 1 once loved me for me... 1 had to be taught to feel lacking.


thought I'd never really heal.., It tooK years to face reality. When 1 did... 5o much more was revealedl Abundance came to me With swift and loving generosity. Kind hearts

True Friends Talent Healing Patience Of which 1 still have more to Stripping myself of the negativity... \g truth to myself of my own self-v Acknowledging that

Are j u s t words. Understanding that the actions of others Are what 1 make a choice to respond to With my own grace My own strength My own dignity My own truth You truly gave life to mel


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We absolutely need you, we absolutely must have You. When a grape is plucKed thorn a bunch With my mouth the singular entrapping Venus Ry trap. Oh but that grape. The Juices squirting drizzling out Of its sKin, punctured and squished, sucKled And cannibalized in my saliva's enzymes. LiKe brave MacK Jane's mystically wonderflil Choosing of her sex after discarding her Buttoned up grape sKin of unfulTlled breasts despite Her girlfriend's wanting of an Adamic himness.

A hymn of His love turned into a glass shattering exalting exhalationSoul-piercing BacK-breaKing Her-ecstasying Of squirting, unshacKled penetrating with her Aphrodisiac appendage-Freed.


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/VOTE 7??/5 submission was wnffen in February 2017 as a direct response to issues present in Hie Trump presidency at the time

Regarding the elections that have occurred a couple months ago (the Presidency. W House and the Senate), the situation has been quite chaotic and stressful for a lot of people: Trump, at best, is a complete wildcard as to how things will socially progress. 4 And needless to say a great deal of this concern has been cast by many vulnerable groups: Women, Hispanic/Latino individuals, LGBTQ persons, etc. The list goes on. For me specifically, a great deal of anxiety and focus has been for my LGDFQ rights, and it stems from the individuals that Trump has been appointing and surrounding ^ himself with. r "But Trump said he's f ne with same-sex marriage, there's nothing to worry about." There's a lot more to worry about than just marriage, and already he's proven Itl^ himself to be extremely dangerous with the people and legislation he's surrounding himself with. 5ame-sex marriage isn't the true end goal for LGBTQ rights - the true goal here is gaining the same social and economic freedoms as my heterosexual counterparts, now put in jeopardy:

httpS://www.congress.gov/blllAmth-congress/house-b\!l/2802 h1tp://wwwthedQtybeast.com/articles/20l6/11/16/the-gop-s-anti-lgbt-Qnti-women-relig\ous-free dom- lQw-on-stero\ds.htm I http://www.hrc,org/resources/first-Qmendment-defense-Qct http://t\me.com/M576513/m\Ke-pences-hQtefUl-lQws/ http://www.lQtirTies.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-oi-lgbt-trump-bannon-20161^

The links will better illustrate the issues at hand here (and 1 strongly recommend looking them over), but to give a brief summary of what a possible fiture under our upcoming administration entails for people like us-.

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1) FADA, or the First Amendment Defense Act, is an insidious bill that allows for any service nationwide to not only deny LGBT individuals services on the basis of their religious views (like the Indiana Religious Freedom Act), but to also be safeguarded against losing federal benefits should they not conform to any 5tate/Federal LGBT W protections. As the current writing of the bill stands, these services include, but are ^ not limited tO: grocery stores, general good stores, libraries, universities, housing, hospitals, etc.

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In the middle of an employment at a random business, this same business could suddenly deny me the same marriage benefits that my heterosexual counterparts are receiving because this law now makes a distinction between regular marriage and "same-sex marriage." A similar scenario can unfold where, should 1 have a husband in a hospital, 1 could be omitted visitation rights based on the grounds that our marriage no longer identifies us as "family." FADA isn't about protecting "cake bakers", but about denying access to basic goods and services that allow an individual to live their lives. With the way the bill is currently written, it is specifically detracting from a group while elevating the status of another. 2) A Supreme Court Justice in the image of Scalia is effectively a Supreme Court Justice that desires a repeal of Lawrence V.Texas (for those unaware, this is a law that had effectively decriminalized same-sex relationships nationwide), and will therefore be someone who will likely, at every possible chance in their power as a Justice, oppose any legislation offering me the equal rights to my heterosexual counterparts. While there is relatively little precedent for the SCCTTLIS to overturn any previous landmark cases, the fact remains that it can still happen and that this is still a possibility empowered by the fact that Trump's administration is confdent enough to chip away at (and ultimately overturn) Roe v. Wade. If theyre confdent enough to topple a 30+ year established landmark case, theyu f nd conf dence in doing so for many other social landmark cases that afford me the right to privacy and freedom.

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Already we're seeing the effects of an empowered Republican party in Texas: • •

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http://www.daiiasnews.conn/news/lgbt/2017/0V20/gop-pressure-texas-suprerrie-court-w ili-consider-undoing-gay-spousai-rights http://www.lgbtqnaf\on.com/2017/OVtexas-supreme-court-will-hear-cha!lenge-sex-marr iage-iegalization/

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3) In the wake of many of Trump's cabinet positions being filed already we're seeing reluctance on their part to protect the rights of LGBT Americans. Ben Carson, for example, has stated that LGBT persons don't need "extra rights" despite that: pT A) Housing discrimination is very real:

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www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2015/07/02/housing-discrinnination-the-next-hurdlefor-lgbt-coupies/ r

B) Being an African-American male (and thus a minority), he's clearly benef tted from these same "extra rights" in the form of the Fair Housing Act. C) In addition to housing discrimination,job discrimination is also a very real thing:

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http://www.huffngtonpost.com/20mAO/03/how-being-gay-decimated-t_n_59226H4.ht mi http://www.siate.com/blogs/outward/2015A0/30/anti_gay_harassment_missouri_man _cannot_sue _for_sexual_orientation_discrimination.html

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And to make matters worse, there is already ambiguity regarding stability of basic federal protections: www.advocate.com/politics/2017/1/30/white-house-staying-mum-rumors-anti-lgbt-exec -order ^

Carson's sentiments echo throughout the bulk of Trump's cabinet, so to hear that I'm 1^ being given preferential treatment is not only highly aggravating, it is an outright lie to this entire country when the reality is that i'm forced to limit my Job and housing W I opportunities to specif c states because the rest of the country denies me basic F living.


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LGBT individuals will fall into a precarious position during the next four years. These are some ideas on how to combat homophobic legislation and ideas: I if you're LGBT, then stay out of the closet. Let them Know who you are and why you oppose homophobic legislation. This may not come as a surprise for some of us. but for every individual who comes out of the closet they are doing the wider LGBT community a service:

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http://www.effectivism.net/2009A2/the-effects-of-conning-out-Qs-lesbiQn-gay-or-bisex UQl/

By committing yourselves to remaining visible you are already doing a lot to challenge any negative stigmas. What if you're not LGBT, but supportive of the community? Then stay out of the closet. SpeaK out and challenge people's discriminatory perceptions regarding LGBT individuals. We're f ghting the same battle. LGBT rights are your rights too.

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2 More importantly (especially if you're a documented U.S. citizen): Write letters to your elected officials. Call your elected officials. Email your elected officials. http://theslotjezebel.com/how-to-effectively-lobby-your-congressperson-178895812H

Simply put, locate your district representative and proceed to call them. Inform them IF about upcoming legislation like FADA, tell them its absolutely reprehensible. Let them I know you are an LGBT/Allied individual and that these proposed bills will harm you. J ^

Fun fact: Of the 170 cosponsors of FADA, 5 of them were representing districts within California. Everyone has their part to play, even if theyre in a "safe" state like California. mm How do you find out who your House Representative is? ^

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http://www.house.gov/representatives/f1nd/

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3. This is more or less an extension of the first point, but it's still worthy of being brought up: Establish a dialogue with people you've never talked to. Educate them about these issues. Create visibility and awareness about this as a problem.

My boyfriend's parents are long-time Republicans, and voted Trump in this election. Due to that, we felt it necessary to discuss and bring to light the severe setbacks my boyflriend and 1 could suffer under the upcoming administration. We asked them to have a seat and told them in greater detail our stories of the homophobia we had already endured up to this point: Don't Ask Don't Tell, Defense of Marriage Act and ^ many state laws permitting discrimination on the basis of our sexual orientation. ^ Each of these would have repercussions on how people would perceive the LGBT community, often resulting in the silence of our identities and the shame forced Y upon us by our peers. We told his parents that the homophobic culture up to this point, in spite of several discriminatory laws being struck down, was still ven^ much prevalent in California and among other parts of the country. _^

The result of this discussion:

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Before I explain their reactions, I'd first like to say that my boyflriend's parents are conservative, business-owning individuals in their 50's. 5o it definitely came as a fortunate surprise to me (and especially him) when, once we let them voice their ^ opinion on this whole debacle, they were stunned to hear a lot of the proposed " anti-LGBT legislation. They had absolutely no idea of the rampant discrimination running unchecked under the platforms of the Republican party. But more than that: f shortly after their astonishment, they even offered to write letters to elected officials opposing such legislation. Theyre offering their flill support to make sure me and my boyflriend retain our hard-fought rights. A young, poor, gay Latino man and his boyfriend convinced two Christian-raised, conservative, business-owning parents that we are facing a serious issue when it comes to LGBT rights.

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If individuals of this demographic are fearfbl for our well-being and prepared to f ght for equality, there's absolutely no reason that you should be hesitant in f ghting back If there's one thing 1 promised myself at the start of my college career, it's that 1 would no longer conf ne myself to the closet. 1 would no longer allow anyone to Silence me on the basis of my orientation. My name is Christopher Michael Cervantes-Hernandez, and 1 am a gay male willing to f ght for my rights.

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For my people, with their pens tucked thoughtfully behind their ears or held between coffee stained teeth, with their feet tapping to life's unpredictable melody, desperately attempting to capture the impression of those smoldering eyes or that husky voice or her curvaceous form,For my people whose Angers soar, pounding upon black and white keys, reeking of Cigarettes, hard liquor, slick sweat, and inspiration, as they fVantically endeavor to seize, through violence or supplication or Airtation, that '^'^'^'^ - u ^ j ^ . . . that through preservation the roots into the page and mind; \

For my people who swear by the metaphor, clawing their way with aching, bloody Anqers down below the surface of the concrete, to those who worship ^^e ^eetj>f plo? running quivering Angers over and over the beads of Poe's single effect, to those who plunge headArst into characterization; shedding individuality, forsaking ego, ^ losing themselves; riding the wave of muse for as far as it takes them; ! n i l ^T" Who Hitchslap, swinging their entire weight beh nd a ^ L q i n g open palm Aushing the face of the theocrats, the demagogues, the institutions reA^nn to comp y With that A^cklng travesty christened censLl.p.To hose w^^^^^^^^^^^ t ^^^^^^ -^^g^^ ° ^ ' t and dentTnd

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For my people who love words and love with words, forging diamond plated armor , - ' out of syntax, alliteration, and rhythm for the otherwise defenseless, for those who \ soak the wounds of the brokenhearted in a thick poultice of encouragement, vitality. and strength, for those who bleed out onto the page, drenching it in tears, and screaming through pen and ink of love, love, love. ^



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Identifying as the tip-toeing, non binary, spiritual healing, artist who is a little obsessed with all things PoKemon, Joseph lives in a baby-blue home in the 5unset District of 5an Francisco. Devoting their time to their worship and work they seek to be a guide for those seeking such along the divine 3ath they are presented with. Whether that be ••hrough displaying the complexities of our being through stylistic portraiture and writing, or by lending a hand when its needed- it all carries significance to their purpose.


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My name is Christopher Michael Cervantes-Hernandez, and 1 am a -hfth-year student studying Computer 5cience with a minor in Mathematics. Being a college student naturally comes with its own sets of challenges, some of which will unfortunately prove too much for even the most accomplished of individuals. In my case the staKes are even higher, as 1 belong to demographics who are the hardest hit when it comes to achieving their educational pursuits: 1 am without family assistance, 1 am Latino and 1 am gay. * The struggle to prove my worth as a productive individual has pervaded every facet of my life, and with a college degree the only tangible manner in which 1 can achieve this goal of being truly self-sufTcient, it is therefore not surprising to hear when people come to describe me with words liKe "studious", "driven", "calculating" or even "cold". 1 have done all that 1 can to maKe sure 1 never lose sight of obtaining my degree, which has included many difhcult decisions along the way.

Fortunately, however, 1 did manage to receive a lot of help along the way. And for a while It seemed liKe things were finally starting to get better Grades were improving. I became a math tutor under a nationally recognized system. I manaqed to enroll myself in my state's healthcare systemCafLr having no Wmal healthcare ' ''"'^'^ anniversary mark with my

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I almost didn't even have to worry about the political climate regarding my LGOT ;After all," 1 remember telling my boyfViend shortly after Trump's speech at the RNC \n^^mcsUase scenario, not even Trump would interfere with our rights!"


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i now walk a very narrow line between maintaining my living situation as qay male student, to being forced to drop out of college and potentially sufferinq a life of poverty. I have lived a life of homelessness before, and it is a distinct t/pe of fear that I've grown paranoid of revisiting. For anyone reading this biography. I plea this: While I do have ftiends who are willinq to support me in any worst case scenario, I recognize this is not the case for others If you know anyone suffering hardships over the stress and fear of their riqhts being violated, I sincerely ask of you to provide support in any way you can From sornething as large as offering them a shelter, to even something as simple as lending them emotional support. Because even for the best of us within the LG&T community, we're all afVaid of what's to come. '

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KB$St>M fiTZPATBiCK

Kendra Fitzpatrick is a graduate student with Drexel's Online Master of Science in Library Information and Services. She works as the Circulation Supervisor in the library of her youth, and bashing her hands on the keyboard to see what words come out (she thinks that's called writing but can't be sure because she's frankly too tired to think that hard!


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Aspiring writer and artist. Now residing in Southern Montana, she runs her photography business (Syrenia Imagery) at home as a fVeelance photographer and photojournalist. She writes in her spare time for various mediums and serves as a copy editor. With a bacheior's degree in Arts and technoiogies, she also does graphic design work and is currently working on various large scale art projects with her husband.

TESSiCA CUNCEA ABTISr, "ABnVBBAPy"


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Slater writes poetry, -hction, and nonf^ction. His worK has appeared inTrans Lit Mag. TreeHouse: An

Exhibition of the Arts. Bird's Thumb. The Commuter. Canyon Voices. The Tower Journal and Metonym. Slater is completing his MFA m Rctlon at San Diego State University and interns for Fiction International.


Katlin Sweeney is a first year M.A. student in American Literature at San Diego State University She works as a Teaching Associate and Fellow in SDSU's Department of Rhetoric & Writing Studies, as an Editorial & Marketing Associate at San Diego State University Press, Editor/Creator of Rally Zine, Prose Editor at Venus Magazine, and as a homeschool writing tutor. She graduated summa cum laude from California State University San Marcos in 2016 with a BA. in Literature & Writing Studies and a minor in Women's Studies. Her work has been published in Hoax Zine. The Moon Zine BonKI Magazine, and The Queery Magazine She is the former Editor-in-Chief of CSUSM's The Cougar Chronicle and former Peer Coordinator of CSUSM's ASl LGBTQA Pride Center.


R a l l y Zine Issue 04:Comunidad

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS Saturday, May E7 @ 11:00 p.i rallyzine.wordpress.com & issuu.com/katlinsweeney


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