BECOMING SELF-CONFIDENT, POSITIVE & PRODUCTIVE
Kayla Thompson
INTRODUCTION I used to think self-confidence was a completely unchangeable trait. It was what it was and if you felt like shit about yourself that is how you were always going to feel. There were so many aspects of my life and myself that I was desperate to change but didn’t think I’d even remotely be able to. I felt like I was going through the motions of living my mediocre life with the occasional flare-ups of awesome here and there. The most painful part was that deep down I knew I totally deserved more. I’m assuming if you’re reading this that there are some areas of your life and self that you’re not feeling so good about. The great news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built upon and you deserve to feel amazing about your self and life.
HOW TO USE THIS JOURNAL Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they’ll be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them. Self-confidence is made up of both self-esteem and self-efficacy. We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves mastering skills and achieving goals that matter. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed; and it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks. This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what’s going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are enough, that we’re competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.
It’s Good to Be You is designed to help you learn selfconfidence through self-evaluation and reflection. Personal change is most important in the first steps toward making lasting progress. Each page is created to motivate, empower, encourage and support you while you learn to appreciate what makes you, you. There is no way to use this journal incorrectly. Give yourself the permission and the means to be who you are regardless of what anybody else thinks or believes is possible. Do not deny yourself the life you want to live because you’re worried you’re not good enough or that you’ll be judged or that there is someone who could do it better. You are powerful. You are loved. You are surrounded by miracles. Believe, really believe that what you desire is within you and available to you. And you can have it all. You’re good just as you are.
To use your It’s Good to Be You App enter code: 561533091
Just Write. Take the time to just write about what’s going on, how you’re feeling, or even just things you have to get done.
today is:
/ /
today is:
/ /
Your job is to be as you as you can be. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance. We are all perfect in our own, magnificent, fucked-up ways. Write three awesome things that make you the badass you are.
1.
2.
3.
today is:
/ /
Become aware of your emotions. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the variety of feelings we have going on throughout our day. When we understand the way we feel, we’re able to have more control over ourselves. Rate each of these emotions based on the level you feel them, the stronger the feeling the more you pieces you fill in.
contentment
productive
annoyed
pity
optimistic
pissed off
beautiful
anxious
accomplished
fulfilled
brave
challenged
today is:
/ /
“ The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else. �
E.E. CUMMINGS
Living a life on purpose is available to everyone. So if you’re struggling or settling or completely confused about what you’re supposed to do with your life, know that the answer is already here. It exists and so does the life you can’t wait to create. You just need to get some clarity first. Write eight things you would love to accomplish in life.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
today is:
/ /
Focus on yourself. Shade each bar too the level that best describes how you’re feeling.
Self-Conscious
not at all
very much
Negative Self-Talk
none
a lot
Stress at Work
not at all
very much
Stress at Home
not at all
very much
What can you do to change this. Focus on what you have control over and what’s changeable. Give yourself a break and recognize when you are your own worst enemy.
today is:
/ /
What about others? How do you let others effect your mood and actions, especially in negative situations. Do you let these emotions effect your relationships?
Let go. The moment you decide to forgive and let your negative feelings melt away, you are on the road to freedom. Are there any situations you can let go of that come to mind?
today is:
/ /
When you constantly deny yourself the people, food, and experiences that make you feel the most alive, that sends a pretty lousy message home. Look at your life and see where you’re letting yourself down. Write three things you can do this week that you don’t usually allow yourself to do.
1.
2.
3.
today is:
/ /
Time to reflect. We’re you able to do each of these three things you were hoping for? How did it make you feel? If not, why? Did any of these tasks make you feel ecstatic, guilty, irresponsible? Remember what made you want to do these things in the first place.
today is:
/ /
Describe your perfect day. Where would you go, what would you do, who would be there, and what makes that perfect?
today is:
/ /
“ The woman who does not require vali dation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet. ”
MOHADESA NAJUMI
Be nice to you. We’ve gotten so used to our negative reactions to ourselves that we never even think to question it. But once we are aware of our thought patterns and behaviors, we can consciously change them. Write eight criticisms you constantly tell yourself.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
today is:
/ /
Now change it! Change each of your eight criticisms into a compliment. Anytime you have the urge to criticize yourself, replace the remark with your new positive outlook.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
today is:
/ /
Try meditating. When we are unaware of our thoughts and urges, which arise in the back of our mind mostly unnoticed, they have a power over us. When we learn to observe them, we can then release their hold over us. If you meditate for even five minutes you really start to notice your thoughts it can be illuminating.
• Set a timer. You’ve got enough distracting thoughts without checking the clock to see how long you’ve been at it every thirty seconds. • Sit in a comfortable, cross legged position on the floor, or in a chair, with your hands on your knees or in your lap. • Sit up straight and relax your entire face, especially your jaw and your forehead.
Try lighting a candle and focusing on it. Sometimes having a place to rest your eyes can help you get centered and in the zone. Sit and face a candle that you place on the floor in front of you while you meditate and see if that works for you.
• Close your eyes, or, if it helps you focus and not fall asleep, keep them open and gaze softly at the spot in front of you. • Focus on your breathing. Notice it moving in and out of your body; you don’t have to breathe in any special way. Just focus on it. •
Gently release any thoughts that come into your brain and refocus on your breathing. Keep your mind as clear and empty as possible and listen for intuitive hits that may or may not come through.
today is:
/ /
Reflect on the process. What thoughts seemed to always jump into your mind while trying to meditate, where there any that you couldn’t seem to shake? Why are these thoughts or emotions so prevalent and what can you do to change them?
today is:
/ /
“ I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again. ”
OSCAR WILDE
It never ceases to amaze me the precious time we spend worrying, seeking adoration, justifying our actions, complaining, dissecting every minuscule detail of our day, when we are sitting in the middle of a full-blown miracle that is happening right here, right now. Write three positive things about today.
1.
2.
3.
today is:
/ /
Just Write. Take the time to just write about what’s going on, how you’re feeling, or even just things you have to get done.
today is:
/ /
today is:
/ /
What are you so afraid of? When your fears keep you up at night and hold you back from experiencing life, you’re denying yourself true happiness. Do not deny yourself the life you want because you’re afraid you’re not good enough or that you’ll be judged or that it’s too risky, because who does that benefit? No one, that’s who. How much do each of these fearful thoughts effect your life?
faliure
evaluation
responsibility
comparison
not enough time
procrastination
never done it
stability
money
effort
change
challenge
today is:
/ /
Forget the Fear. When we’re afraid to change, it cripples our growth. Write about a time you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to accomplish something but did.
today is:
/ /
Remember that done is better than perfect. Just do the damn thing already. We spend so much time thinking of all the things we have to do instead of just getting them done. Break down what you need to get done into small manageable goals you can achieve.
today is:
/ /
“ Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. ”
MARK TWAIN
Give yourself some credit. You’ve come this far in life, haven’t you? It’s so easy to focus on what we haven’t yet achieved that sometimes we forget we’ve already done some awesome shit. Write eight of your greatest moments and accomplishments thus far.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
today is:
/ /
How’d you do it? Sometimes we forget the struggles and the effort we put into our accomplishments. When we only see the outcome it’s easy to feel like what we’ve done is no big. But it’s a huge deal. Write about what it took to make these accomplishments,
today is:
/ /
Lose track of time. Have you ever been doing something and suddenly realized that hours have gone by without you noticing? When you’re so lost in what you’re doing that you lose all sense of time, you have officially found your true passion. Write about three things you can completely lose yourself in and why.
1.
2.
3.
today is:
/ /
Do what you love more. These things make you lose time for a reason. You enjoy them! How can you incorporate these passions into your life more? Think about how they can become a part of your career or lifestyle
today is:
/ /
“ Just keep moving forward and don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks. Do what you have to do, for you. ”
JOHNNY DEPP
CHECK YOU OUT You know what you want, how you feel, and what you need to get done so go out and do it! Look back on what you’ve accomplished with this journal. Completing this journal is just another achievement to add to your long list of awesome. You’ve taken the first steps in deciding you deserve the life you want to live. Whatever you desire to do with your precious life believe that it’s possible. And that it’s available to you. And that you deserve to be/do/have it. Why not? Give yourself the permission and the means to be who you are regardless of what anybody else thinks or believes is possible. When you live your life doing the things that make you feel good, that you’re good at, that bring you joy, you will be unimaginably happy. You can have it all because it’s good to be you.