Northland Family - April 2011 by Marty Novak

Find that ‘hoppy’ medium

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A P R I L 7, 20 11 LIBERTY TRIBUNE THE KEARNEY COURIER THE SMITHVILLE HERALD GLADSTONE DISPATCH

April is for autism

APRIL 7, 2011

LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

Raise your awareness: Autism Works, Liberty 407-1263, www.autismworks-kc.com

1.5 million Americans affected by autism disorders

Family First, Gladstone 876-9352, www.familyfirstkc.com Northland Autism Spectrum Support Group, Kansas City, 792-2823, www.kcautismservies.com Few child health issues have gotten more publicity in the 21st century than autism. A mental condition characterized by great difficulty forming relationships and communicating with other people, autism is present from early childhood. For parents of young children or even expecting parents, the increased publicity of autism has left many wondering what they can do with respect to their own children. The Autism Society of America notes parents should be on the lookout for the following symptoms, and consult a physician should any of them begin to appear. Difficulty in mixing with others. Lacking the capacity to communicate with others is one of the more prevalent traits associated with autism. Inability to verbalize needs and wants. In lieu of speaking, autistic individuals often resort to pointing or gestures

when expressing needs. While this is a common trait in many young children, it is abnormal for toddlers who have already developed language skills. Resistance to change. Autistic children insist on never breaking from their routine. Not wanting to be cuddled or make eye contact. While these are separate traits, they both can be extremely difﬁcult for parents to cope with, possibly making parents feel as though their child is not reciprocating their love. Children will react negatively to being hugged or cuddled and some autistic children refuse to make eye contact as well. Unresponsive to verbal cues. Children with autism often act as if they are deaf, despite hearing tests that show their hearing is in normal range. To learn more, visit the Autism Society of America at www.autism-society.org.

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The Autism Society of America puts the number of Americans living with the effects of autism at 1.5 million. According to a 2009 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in every 110 children born — about 1 in 70 boys — will have an autism spectrum disorder.

April is National Autism Awareness Month ON THE COVER Mitch and Nancy Allgood of Kearney are pictured with their son Spencer, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism, as a young child. PHOTO BY Matt Frye

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APRIL 7, 2011

Meet the Corlew family Kevin and Amy Corlew’s brood includes 6-year-old Gabe, 4-year-old Amaya, 14-month-old Eliana and the family dog, Red. What does family mean to you? “Life, love and acceptance is what family means to me,” says Amy. “A haven to hang your heart. A team to cheer you on. A foundation when the storms of life come. This is ‘family’ to me.”

What sets your family apart? “Many things set our family apart, but love is what brought us together.” Amy says her family does not look “typical” on the outside. “We are a family through the miracle of adoption. We represent a rainbow of diversity and culture. We are always sure to get a second look when standing in line at the grocery store, but we are

Introduce your family If you would like to be featured in an upcoming Northland Family section, answer the same questions as the Corlew family and e-mail a snapshot of your clan to northland family@npgco.com.

family. A family that was made in the heart — just as God planned for us and for our children.”

What are your family traditions? “We celebrate a ‘Gotcha Day’ with each of our children. This is the special day that we ofﬁcially

brought our child home (from the hospital or foster care). The day we ‘gotcha.’ Our kids love it, as we celebrate with cake and presents. Another tradition in our family is every Friday night we have pizza — Friday Night Pizza Night!”

What is a typical Saturday like for your family? “I can tell you it always involves a sport! Someone is always playing baseball, football or gymnastics. And in the fall, we are all about college football. Do I dare say we are from Nebraska and love the Huskers? Yes, I will. Go Big Red! And I am not talking about our dog.”

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APRIL 7, 2011

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The Accidental Parent As if parenting wasn’t hard enough — you want to keep score?

By Betsy Lee

“Did you breast feed?” she asked me.

We’d been chatting for less than 15 minutes while our kids scrambled over the play equipment. I didn’t see why my son’s eating habits should be her concern, but I indulged her anyway. “Yes,” I answered, cautiously. “I did too.” She responded quickly. “When did he start walking?” Ah. Now I get it. She’s got her scorecard out. Most parents are familiar with the game. It goes a little something like this: You meet another parent. You compare children. You earn points for things like early walking, breast feeding, staying home with the kids, your 2-year-old knowing the

alphabet and other such nonsense. You deduct points from the other mom for things like a clingy toddler, silent 15-month-old or crazy work schedule. Oh, and if one of the children happens to throw a temper tantrum while in the presence of another parent — you can

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pretty much call it game over. I mean, what kind of terrible parents have a kid who throws tantrums? In the store/at the park/in the car nonetheless? It’s all about drawing comparisons where none should be made. Realistically, we know this. But we all do it. And it doesn’t end with infancy and toddlerhood. Parents compare high school students’ accomplishments, their grown children’s jobs and, much later, even their grandchildren. Why do parents — particularly mothers — engage in this dangerous little game? One simple reason: Guilt. Guilt comes along with your baby when it emerges from the womb. Amniotic ﬂuid, baby, placenta and a heaping mound of guilt that sinks into your chest and resides there for at least the next 20 years. Parents feel guilty when they go to work. Guilty when they stay home. Guilty when their child is diagnosed with autism. Guilty when they miss bedtime … again. Guilty when their teen gets drunk or high or pregnant. The guilt can become so all-consuming that it actually impacts our parenting style. I call it “compensation parenting.” I see it at our house all the time. My husband feels guilty about being at work, so he doesn’t want to discipline. I feel guilty because my 3-year-old isn’t very social, so I push him. The only way to ease the guilt is to ﬁnd the things we do well. Thus, the scorecard. It’s the barometer we

have to measure our success. I’d like to tell you that I don’t have my own little scorecard. But I do. I constantly watch other moms with their children and secretly think I handle mine better. But every time I do it, I try to remind myself that next time it could be me hovering over the screaming kid at Target. That every child is different, with different talents and different challenges. That my guilt doesn’t do me, my kids or anyone else around me any good. And the scorecard certainly doesn’t help matters. ✼

✼

So just as I’m about to announce to the mom at the park that my son began walking at 9 months, I stop. “You know, I don’t remember,” I said. Then I smiled slightly, hoping she’d caught on. That she’d know I didn’t want to play the game. That, maybe, we could ditch the guilt — together. “Oh,” she responded, haughtily. “My son walked at 11 months.” Crap, I thought. Well … At least my little guy has hers beat. Betsy Lee is a Kansas City journalist and columnist who lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, two children and two pets. She can be reached at contactbetsylee@gmail.com.

APRIL 7, 2011

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APRIL 7, 2011

LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

Spencer Allgood smiles at his mom, Nancy, when she reacts to winning a hand of poker as the family demonstrates one of the many games they enjoy playing together. The Allgood family tries to have regular pizza nights, game nights and Nintendo Wii nights to get everyone together.

PHOTOS: MATT FRYE

Teen with Asperger’s ﬁnds new opportunities for growth, involvement after leaving high school

By Kevin M. Smith When Spencer Allgood was 3 years old, he could name just about any country on the map. So when he had trouble in school, ﬁguring out what was wrong was difﬁcult for the Allgood family. “We had numerous doctors saying, ‘Oh, he’ll catch up, he’ll catch up,’” said Nan Allgood, Spencer’s mother. Spencer was 10 years old when he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, one of many conditions on the autism spectrum. Asperger’s puts a strain on a person’s social skills and ability to focus at times.

Despite admitted social awkwardness, Spencer is not typically shy. He’s happy to chat at length about just about any topic so long as the conversation doesn’t get too

personal. He prefers not to talk about himself. Now in his late teens, Spencer has always found ways interact with his peers, even when local resources for autism social groups were lacking. In eighth grade he was a manager for the wrestling team. In high school he was a manager for the football team, sang in the choir, ran track and participated in K Club at Kearney High School. “The school, they’ve been very helpful, very beneﬁcial,” Nan said. The local school district was willing to help Spencer in ways other districts in the area did not offer, like providing a paraprofessional, according to the Allgoods. But life after high school hasn’t been as easy for Spencer. He’s taking general education classes at Metropolitan Community College’s Maple Woods campus, and — typical Spencer — he got involved immediately in student activities. First with an environmental club, then with a Bible study group, but what surprised Nan was when he came home and said he had joined an improvised acting group. “It’s fun and hard,” Spencer said about attending Maple Woods.

Despite living at home, college is forcing Spencer to be his own man. In high school, his parents could advocate for Spencer’s needs. They don’t listen to parents as much in college. “You’re the parent, he’s an adult,” said Mitch Allgood, Spencer’s father. Plus, at Kearney High School, where Spencer graduated in 2010, everyone knew him. For those who didn’t, he carried a letter to hand to new teachers, administrators or friends. It said that he had Asperger’s syndrome, explaining why he often reacts differently than other students. With the more independent atmosphere of the community college campus — versus the tight-knit atmosphere at Spencer’s high school — carrying the letter doesn’t seem as practical. And people are getting to know Spencer through other means. In addition to his involvement at school, he has become more active in community groups, including becoming a member of the Knights of Columbus at the Church of the Annunciation in Kearney. He can be found breading ﬁsh, setting tables and washing dishes at Friday night ﬁsh fry events during Lent.

LI B E RT Y T R I BU N E , T H E K E A R NEY COURIER, THE SMITHVILLE HERALD, GLADSTONE DISPATCH

APRIL 7, 2011

Seeking support

By Kevin M. Smith When it comes to autism, sometimes those affected just need a little help from their friends. But forging social networks with individuals and families with similar needs can be a challenge — one Spencer Allgood and his parents continue to strive to meet. The Allgood family interviewed numerous school districts before moving back to the Kansas City area in 2002. “Kearney was willing to work with us,” Mitch Allgood said of the Northland district they ﬁnally decided on. Mitch’s son, Spencer, a 2010 Kearney High School graduate, was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at age 10. Asperger’s is just one of many forms of autism. After his mother, Nan, homeschooled Spencer for a couple of years before moving to Nebraska, the Allgoods interviewed dozens of school districts in the Lincoln area. When they returned to Missouri, they did the same. Kearney provided a paraprofessional from day one to help Spencer through school. “It was at times learning lessons for both sides … in the long run, coming to Kearney was one of the best things we did,” Mitch said. High school is tough enough already. “It’s a lion’s den … it’s nuts,” Mitch said. They key for someone with Asperger’s — which hampers social skills — is creating a support group.

“When we first moved here back in ’02, there weren’t many resources at all,” Nan said. Social groups for children with autism were scarce — “unless you wanted to go south of the river,” Nan said. So she started her own group. “Counseling is very important, also,” Nan said. In nearly a decade since moving to the Northland, more local resources have become available for families dealing with autism. Some resources have come by way of the Allgoods, and others have cropped up on their own. Autism Works Inc., based in Liberty, is a relatively new organization. “It’s a very small, very new nonprofit organization,” said Glenna Love, one of the group’s founders. A donated building houses a teen club and women’s support group. “Most of what we do is connect community to community,” Love said. Anyone looking for that first connection can start with the group’s website, www.autismworks-kc.com. In addition to social support for her son, Nan said the rest of the family needs a similar network. That’s why she formed the Midtown Support Group, which is for family members to meet monthly at a restaurant to discuss resources. As a mother, she wanted people to talk to and listen to who shared similar struggles. Anyone wanting more information on the Midtown Support Group, can contact Nan at nan@theallgoods.us.

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LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

Sweet simplicity As much fun as it is to make fancy treats, sometimes simple really is better. This Easter I’ve decided to keep things sweet and simple when it comes to making desserts. These Easter Egg Treats are a fun twist on marshmallow crispy bars — the kids can help shape the eggs and sprinkle them with pretty toppings. It will be a little messy, but what a fun memory to make together! Bark candies are traditional around other holidays, so why not Easter, too? They couldn’t be simpler to make, and the creamy white morsels and colorful jelly beans taste — and look — great together. To get more sweet inspiration for your Easter celebrations, visit www.tollhouse.com.

Jelly Bean Easter Bark Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 2 minutes Makes 11 servings or 1 pound of bark 2 2 1/2

cups (12-ounce package) Nestlé Toll House Premier White Morsels teaspoons vegetable shortening cup Wonka SweeTarts Jelly Beans, divided

LINE baking sheet with wax paper. MICROWAVE morsels and vegetable shortening in medium, uncovered, microwave-safe bowl on MEDIUM-HIGH (70%) power for 1 minute; stir. Morsels may retain some of their original shape. If necessary, microwave at additional 10- to 15-second intervals, stirring just until morsels are melted. Stir in 1/4 cup SweeTarts Jelly Beans. SPREAD mixture to 1/4-inch thickness on prepared baking sheet. Sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup SweeTarts Jelly Beans. Refrigerate for about 15 minutes or until ﬁrm. Break into pieces. Store in airtight container at room temperature.

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Crisped Rice Easter Egg Treats Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 10 minutes Makes 24 eggs 6 1/4 8 2 2

Nonstick cooking spray cups (10.5-ounce package) miniature marshmallows cup (1/2 stick) butter cups toasted rice cereal cups (12-ounce package) Nestlé Toll House Premier White Morsels, divided teaspoons vegetable shortening Nestlé Toll House Pink & Yellow Mixed Mini Morsel Toppers, assorted sprinkles and/or sugars

SPRAY large mixing bowl with nonstick cooking spray. HEAT marshmallows and butter in large, heavy-duty saucepan over medium-low heat, stirring frequently, for 5 to 10 minutes, until smooth. Remove from heat. WORKING QUICKLY, stir in cereal and 2/3 cup morsels. Carefully transfer mixture into prepared mixing bowl. Cool for 5 minutes. SPRAY hands with nonstick spray. Press marshmallow mixture into a 1/3 cup measure, then form mixture into an egg shape with hands. Repeat with remaining mixture to make a total of 24 eggs. MICROWAVE remaining 1 1/4 cups morsels and vegetable shortening in medium, uncovered, microwave-safe bowl on MEDIUM-HIGH (70%) power for 45 seconds; STIR. Morsels may retain some of their original shape. If necessary, microwave at additional 10- to 15-second intervals, stirring just until morsels are melted.

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Easter’s ‘hoppy’ medium s By Alicia McGarry

Setting out to ﬁll an Easter basket with the hopes of including some semblance of the holiday’s true meaning? Good luck.

A dizzying array of pastel plastic eggs, windup yellow chicks, bunnies and downright sinful amounts of chocolate are what you’ll ﬁnd instead — with nary an image of Jesus Christ anywhere.

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Of course, Jesus’ absence from most holiday marketing can be attributed to a natural progression from our country’s puritanical roots to the culturally blended society in which we now live. And those for whom Christ’s resurrection holds little meaning, can the holiday be celebrated for its overtones of renewal, rebirth and a celebration of spring’s arrival?

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Nancy Washburn, owner of Smiles Delivered, a custom gift basket business in Liberty, said when it comes to creating Easter baskets for customers, their wishes are her command, and can include anything from birdhouses to Bibles, and bubble gum to Ghirardelli chocolates. “Bunnies and chicks, coloring books, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, jumping ropes, yummy candy, anything that makes a child smile and celebrate the moment are very important, every day,” Washburn said. “Creating a tradition of celebrating spring’s renewal and rebirth is a great segue to one day understanding the resurrection of Jesus Christ,” she continued. Michelle Barone, owner of On a Wing and a Prayer, a Catholic gift and bookstore in Gladstone, has another view: Depicting “the reason for the season” is an inextricable part of celebrating Christian holidays. “Without Jesus Christ, there wouldn’t be an Easter … we wouldn’t be who we are,” Barone said. In fact, when Barone received a box of little plastic bunnies included in a shipment of Easter merchandise, she decided to take matters into her own hands. “I decided to make little tags that

went around their necks,” she said of how she connected the plastic bunnies to Christ: “I wrote on each one, ‘Jesus makes me hoppy.’” Yes, Christmas may be rooted in the birth of Christ and Easter about his resurrection, but can — and should — key players in the consumer market like big-box chain stores be blamed for trying to maintain a sustainable market share? In this economy, it seems anyone with commercial interest would be seriously remiss to exclude every non-Christian culture during the seemingly ever-expanding holiday season. Jo Thornley Cox, who manages at On a Wing and a Prayer, also teaches a faith formation class called Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, a Montessori-based program for 3- to 6-year-olds. While Cox maintains it’s imperative to depict Jesus’ story to younger ones, the real scope of Easter’s meaning is simply too much, too soon. “Developmentally, children under the age of 6 really don’t understand suffering and death, especially as depicted in the Passion of Christ, but what they do understand is love and joy, so that is what we as adults can emphasize at Easter time,” Cox said.

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2,000 and counting ... Saint Luke’s cord blood donation program — the only one in the region — collected its 2,000th cord blood unit earlier this year. The program is offered to women who give birth at area Saint Luke’s hospitals and gives them the option to donate blood from their umbilical cords for use in treatments for leukemia, sickle cell anemia and dozens of other diseases. Saint Luke’s Hospital, Saint Luke’s South, Saint Luke’s Northland Hospital and Saint Luke’s East-Lee’s Summit offer the only free, public cord blood donation programs in the Kansas City area. Donated cord blood is listed on registries that are searched by transplant facilities worldwide looking for matches for one of their patients.

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During pregnancy, the placenta and blood within the umbilical cord serve as the lifeline of nourishment from mother to baby. Following the birth, these items are usually discarded. Cord blood stem cells can create all of a person’s blood cells including red cells that carry oxygen, white cells that ﬁght disease and platelets that help blood clot. Cord blood stem cell transplants to replace cells that are abnormal or eradicated by therapy are successfully treating children and adults with leukemia, metabolic disorders, immune deﬁciencies,

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STORE HOURS: M-F 9am-6pm • Sat 9am-4pm

Collection process

After a patient has agreed and the baby is born, the umbilical cord is clamped, cut and separated from the baby. While waiting for the placenta to deliver, blood is collected from the placenta by needle through the umbilical cord and drained into a specially designed blood collection bag.The procedure is painless and non-invasive and does not interfere with the birthing process. If there is any concern about the safety of mother or baby, collection does not occur. In the lab, the cord blood is tested to be sure it is free of infectious diseases or other medical concerns.Then the blood is typed and frozen in a liquid nitrogen freezer until it is shipped to the St. Louis Cord Blood Bank. There is no charge to the donor for the collection, processing, shipping or storage. For more information, visit www.saintlukeshealthsystem.org.

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