September 2011 Northland Family

Sept. 11 is for remembering grandparents, too

Delicious and nutritious brownies for your student

Accidental Parent makes herself at home

Is your family game for a night of fun?

SEPT. 1, 2011 LIBERTY TRIBUNE THE KEARNEY COURIER THE SMITHVILLE HERALD GLADSTONE DISPATCH

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LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

Growing with Grandma Through their infinite wisdom and experiences, grandmothers are often the glue that holds families together. While many are known to spoil their grandchildren rotten, grandmothers represent the nurturing and influential forces in the lives of their children’s children.

As the grandmother of two, Debbie Daniele, author of the children’s book “As I Grow Up and You Grow Down: Grandma and Me,” highlights special memories between a grandmother and her two grandchildren, a boy and a girl.

As grandchildren grow up, they begin to realize that Grandma seems to be growing down relative to their perspective. The experiences with their grandma illustrate to small children the values of love, sharing, compassion and kindness, and how emulating their grandmother’s values will most certainly lead to kind behavior later in life.

While Daniele is inspired by her own relationship with her grandchildren, she also drew on Kathe Levenson’s “When I Grow Up and You Grow Down.” Daniele had hoped to partner with Levenson to rewrite the original book with a subsequent series to follow; however, Levenson granted Daniele permission because she was undergoing hospital care at the time.

Levenson then passed away, and Daniele has dedicated this book to the late writer.

“I want the experience of reading this book to plant seeds in the minds of children that relationships are special, and that children have it within themselves to return the kindness they see in others,” Daniele said.

Daniele hopes that readers, even at the youngest of ages, will realize the precious-

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ness of relationships with their grandparents. Creating lasting memories together will model and shape grandchildren to become loving parents and grandparents themselves later on down the road.

“As I Grow Up and You Grow Down: Grandma and Me” is available for sale online at Amazon.com and other channels.

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Our “Passport to Learning” curriculum presents learning materials in ways that meet the individual needs of each child. We believe that in order to prepare children for school, we must address their intellectual, social, emotional, and physical development needs.

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Book for kids highlights special relationship between grandmothers and their grandchildren

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It’s only been in existence in America since 1978, but National Grandparents Day has been increasing in popularity each year.

This year it will be celebrated on Sept. 11 by families nationwide.

The holiday was founded by Marian McQuade, a housewife in West Virginia who was motivated by a desire to educate young people about the important historical contributions made by seniors.

She also sought to come to the aid of lonely seniors in nursing homes.

In a fitting tribute, the official flower for Grandparents Day is the Forget-me-not.

Interestingly, the first Grandmother’s Day is said to have been celebrated in Poland in 1964.

— State Point Media

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What’s it like at your house?

Northland Family is looking for, well, Northland families willing to share their thoughts and experiences on a few topics for upcoming issues.

Homemade Halloween — Do you prefer store-bought or do-it-yourself costumes? We want to know why and how you planned to dress up this Oct. 31.

Table traditions — What does a typical family dinner entail at your house?

What do you eat, where do you eat and who do you eat with?

Seasonal shopping — Santa, snowmen and blinking lights will start appearing in stores before we know it. What’s your strategy for putting presents under the Christmas tree? How do you budget? Do you shop early or late? How does the naughty-or-nice list affect your kids’ behavior?

Grandparents Day is coming!

We’re also looking for photos of local families If you’d like to comment on any of these topics or suggest a story idea, email northlandfamily@npgco.com or Editor Amy Neal at amyneal@npgco.com.

ON THE COVER The

Mapels of Liberty are fans of athletic competition.

Mom Amy and dad Dave welcomed a third son to their brood earlier this year. Caden joined big brothers Josh and Zach.

NORTHLAND FAMILY IS A SPECIAL SECTION PUBLISHED THE FIRST WEEK OF EACH MONTH BY LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY COURIER, THE SMITHVILLE HERALD AND GLADSTONE DISPATCH, DIVISIONS OF NPG NEWSPAPERS, INC. MAILING ADDRESS: 104 N. MAIN ST., LIBERTY, MO 64068 ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: 816-781-4941

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LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

The Accidental Parent Home is more than a place to live — it’s where you build your life

By Betsy Lee

m

My home is a blue two-story

shaped like a square, nearly 50 miles from where I sleep at night.

The paint I helped my parents ap-

ply is peeling now. The crack in the driveway that we used as second base has deepened, so much so that wiffle ball players would likely sprain an ankle if they tried to stretch a double. The sandbox has been filled in and the playset my dad built isn’t where it used to be.

I haven’t lived there for more than 10 years.

And yet, this little structure is still my home.

Home isn’t merely a dwelling. A house will suffice for that.

A home is a house shaped by memories. It is a storied place from which identities sprout and families are created.

Homes are where generations gather and friends are welcomed.

A home offers safety and security. It’s a place to be angry, boring, silly and serious.

It is a place of permanence.

I lived in my childhood home from age 6 to 18. Then,

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in college, I flitted from dorm room to apartment to a house we called “The Burnhole.”

After graduation, I made a house out of a boat. I stayed in a tiny apartment. I slept with my dog in a lonely one-bedroom and I partied hard in a loft with a gorgeous roof-top view.

When I moved into my current house, with my soonto-be husband and my pregnant belly, I thought that it didn’t feel like home because of the two-tone pink and brown paint, hideous linoleum floors and stark walls.

But even as we disguised it with our favorite colors

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and pictures of our friends, it still seemed to hunker there.

Even after my husband drove my newborn son and I back from the hospital, up into its nice, flat driveway. And even after I birthed my daughter in the dented bathroom tub.

This house was still an imposter.

We had the memories and the walls.

The laughter and the bedrooms.

But we had no home.

Since moving in four years ago, I’ve often wondered if the idea of home is something that exists only in childhood.

Perhaps as we age we can’t find that sense of security because we — the adults, the parents — are the ones responsible for creating it.

And every headache, in the form of a busted appliance or ruptured pipe, is something that we don’t really want to claim. A broken place doesn’t match the idyllic image of home.

Plus we’ve lost the ability to be satisfied.

My two-bedroom duplex is embarrassing when compared to the mini-mansions of some friends and acquaintances.

Before we even unpacked, my husband and I both envisioned our next moving day.

Today, a “for sale” sign stands in front of my little duplex, now pretty with tan paint and brown accents. And we’ve viewed thousands of photos of different, larger,

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better houses. When we do, I try to place my family inside the little square images.

How will my kids look in that backyard?

How will my husband and I maneuver in that kitchen?

I didn’t do this when looking for my current house.

I couldn’t see my family because I didn’t know what it would become.

When I moved out of my childhood home, I had no idea who I would be, either. Unlike my childhood self, who read books perched in a backyard tree, I was becoming.

Becoming an adult.

Becoming a professional.

Becoming a wife.

Becoming a mother.

I couldn’t make a home because I didn’t feel at home.

Not in the dorm or the boat or even the friend-filled loft.

And this house, sweet, cozy and open, certainly didn’t stand a chance.

But it is the closest I’ve ever been. So I’ll call it my “almost home.”

Now, after four years of settling, painting and making things fit, I’m ready.

I’m ready, finally, for a new home.

Betsy Lee is a Kansas City journalist and columnist who lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, three children and two pets. She can be reached at contactbetsylee@gmail.com

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LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

We’re all family here A growing number of family households include not just parents and their children but grandparents and even adult children in their 20s, according to Nina Chen, a University of Missouri Extension human development specialist.

One in six Americans — almost 50 million people — live in multigenerational families, according to the Pew Research Center. For those new to multigenerational households, the experience can be a challenge, but it also has rewards, Chen said.

A number of factors are bringing extended families together in one home, including the struggling economy, a tough job market, a housing crunch, parents returning to school, the inability to afford child care and elderly parents needing care.

“Multigenerational living has its ups and downs,” Chen said.

“Moving into a new household can be challenging and everyone involved needs time to make adjustments.”

Some family members may find it stressful adjusting to new responsibilities and redefined roles, balancing the needs of different generations and providing enough space and privacy for everyone.

Not all multigenerational families experience high levels of emotional closeness, Chen said. Some multigenerational families may experience either significant conflict or detachment in their relationships. Despite the financial benefits, living in a multigenerational household can potentially strain family relationships.

The good news, she said, is that living in a multigenerational household has numerous rewards for all generations: ◆ Grandparents can provide important role models in the socialization of grandchildren. ◆ Grandchildren can learn how to care for their elders. ◆ Living with children can provide purpose and meaning to the lives of older generations. For instance, the physical demands of keeping up with the kids and helping with homework make them feel younger, useful and active. ◆ Grandparents can help grandchildren adjust to their parents’ divorce. They can give grandchildren undivided attention and help when single parents are overwhelmed. ◆ Multigenerational households have financial benefits for everyone involved. ◆ Family members look after, help and support each other.

Older generations can provide economic resources to help younger generations in the family. Adult children living in the multifamily household can save money while going to school, finding a job or saving up to buy a home of their own.

“Bringing family members together can be a joyful time to share and treasure for everyone in the family,” Chen said.

For more information about family life from University of Missouri Extension, see www.MissouriFamilies.org.

Multigenerational households become more commonplace

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Grand results In 2009, 7.8 million children lived with at least one grandparent, a 64 percent increase since 1991 when 4.7 million children lived with a grandparent, according to a recent report from the U.S. Census Bureau.

Among children living with a grandparent, 76 percent also were living with at least one parent in 2009, a slight drop from 77 percent who lived with at least one parent in 1991.

“The people with whom children live affect their well-being,” said Rose Kreider, a family demographer with the U.S. Census Bureau.

“These statistics give us a lot of detail about the number of parents children live with, as well as whether they live with siblings, grandparents or other relatives.”

These statistics come from the household relationship module of the Survey of Income and Program Participation collected in 2009 and published in the report “Living Arrangements of Children: 2009.”

Some other finding in the report:

½

More than half of the children living with no parents were living with grandparents — 64 percent for black children, 55 percent for white children, 61 percent for Hispanic children and 35 percent for Asian children.

In 1991, 5 percent of white, 15 percent of black and 12 percent of Hispanic children lived with at least one grandparent. By 2009, 9 percent of white, 17 percent of black and 14 percent of Hispanic children lived with at least one grandparent.

2 parents

In 2009, 69 percent of the 74.1 million children younger than 18 lived with two parents. Four percent of all children lived with both a mother and father who were not married to each other.

Between 1991 and 2009, children living with only their mother increased from 21 percent to 24 percent.

Sixteen percent of children live with a stepparent, stepsibling or half-sibling. Thirteen percent of children living with one parent and 18 percent of children living with two parents lived in these blended families.

Most children (78 percent) lived with at least one sibling.

78%

Bring everyone together with a family game night With family schedules full to the brim, it can often be challenging to find quality time to spend together. One way to create a night of fun without distractions is by planning a family game night.

Parenting expert and Family Adventure Mom, Deb Geigis Berry, offers tips for sharing sweet moments of family fun during game night:

the note into lunchboxes for kids to discover.

Sweeten family game night. You can substitute playing pieces in games with different candies. It also makes the perfect treat when the game is over at the end of the night.

Schedule a date and time. The best time to play is after dinner. If it’s a school or work night, agree that homework and assignments will be finished so you can focus on the fun.

Pick a game that’s new to your family. It may be the next family favorite! Be sure to designate one person as “Game Captain.” That person will review the rules prior to game play and present them to each of the players at the start of the night.

Build excitement with lunchbox invitations. Turn game night into a special event by making an invitation for each family member. Simply fold a piece of paper into a card and write “Are you game?” on the cover along with the date and time of your game night inside. Place

Create a comfortable atmosphere and eliminate distractions. Why not play in your pajamas? Feeling comfortable boosts the enjoyment factor. Also be sure to turn off cell phones, televisions and other distracting devices during the event.

74.1 million children younger than 18

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LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

Love, marriage and the Big D ◆ National rates of marriage in the past 12 months were 19.1 for men and 17.6 for women. ◆ There were 3.5 instances of widowhood for men and 7.8 for women, per every 1,000 people. ◆ Children living with a parent who divorced in 2009 were more likely to live in a household headed by their mother (75 percent) than in a household headed by their father.

“Marital Events of Americans: 2009” is the first report of its kind to describe the detailed characteristics of marital events (marriage divorce and widowhood) among Americans 15 and older. Its data comes from the American Community Survey.

What it found is that we in the Midwest are, again, in the middle, with the highs and lows in the South and Northeast.

Men and women in the South had higher rates of divorce in 2009 than in other regions of the country, 10.2 per 1,000 for men and 11.1 per 1,000 for women, according to a new report from the U.S. Census Bureau. By contrast, men and women in the Northeast had the lowest rates of divorce, 7.2 and 7.5.

The national divorce rate was 9.2 for men and 9.7 for women.

“Divorce rates tend to be higher in the South because marriage rates are also higher in the South,” said Diana Elliott, a family demographer at the U.S. Census Bureau.

“In contrast, in the Northeast, first marriages tend to be delayed and the marriage rates are lower, meaning there are also fewer divorces.”

Even without a will, next of kin may be entitled to inheritance Men and women who die without a will do not automatically have their assets seized by the government.

When someone dies without a will, they leave what is known as intestacy. The only time a deceased person’s assets end up with the government is when the deceased has no living next of kin.

Should a man or woman with living family or dependents pass away without a will, a formula is then used to distribute the deceased’s assets.

While this formula ensures family or dependents get some of the deceased person’s assets, it does not necessarily mean the deceased’s wishes will be honored. To ensure his or her wishes are honored, a person must have a will in place.

Otherwise, the formula will be used to distribute assets.

Contrary to popular belief, children do not have to be born from legal marriage to share in the distribution of assets. What’s more, laws have changed to include de facto partners in the distribution of assets when the deceased leaves no will. Previously, this only applied to spouses. However, now same sex-couples have entitlements when their partners die without a will.

To determine the rules of asset distribution when someone dies without a will, consult an attorney.

— Metro Creative

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Nursery décor isn’t what it used to be.

And that is great news for those who love interior design and décor.

Many parents-to-be are moving away from character themes and the expected pinks and blues, and are instead opening their minds to design possibilities.

To help you find the right style for your baby’s nursery, here are some tips from the team behind the Inspired Nursery blog at www.inspirednursery.com:

Invest in rest The smart move is to invest in a few pieces of high-quality furniture that will grow with your child: ◆ Select furniture that complements the look of the rest of your home. Nursery furniture comes in a wide variety of beautiful finishes. You can browse the images at www.facebook.com/inspirednursery for inspiration. ◆ Look for Lifestyle cribs which easily convert from crib to toddler-, day-, and eventually a full-sized bed, which means they will grow with your child. ◆ Consider other adaptable furniture pieces, including armoires that convert into media centers, and dressers that also serve as changing tables. Learn more at www.LaJobi.com.

dream décor Nursery design options grow up

Get personal Give the nursery its own special look with accessories that are not only attractive, but have special meaning, too.

Celebrate your family’s heritage with treasures from scrapbooks, old family photo albums, textiles and art pieces from your family’s native country.

Personalize baby’s room with handmade art and accessories from local artists or from online sources such as www.

Etsy.com.

You don’t need to be a designer to create a beautiful nursery — you just need a little patience and the right inspiration.

— Family Features

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LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

The ABCs of after-school nutrition

During the busy school year, it can be a challenge to maintain sound nutrition and quality together time for the entire family. By planning ahead and making resolutions about smart snack and meal choices, it’s easier to have everyone reconnect, recharge and relax.

Oftentimes a more casual evening provides the best opportunity to reconnect. Here are some tips for making the most of those treasured after-school hours.

Families that eat together grow together. Regular family dinners have long been touted as an important component of a well-rounded childhood. Include everyone during dinner prep by having them set the table or prepare a side salad. For those hectic weeknights, options like Stouffer’s Farmers’ Harvest family-size entrées offer whole-grain goodness and high-quality ingredients for dinner.

For more mealtime ideas and to sign up for dinner club awards, visit www. stouffers.com.

Think outside the bag. Take lunchtime as an opportunity to teach your children about nutrition and help them pack their lunches the night before. Reinforce good eating habits by encouraging them to create a well-balanced meal that they’ll enjoy.

Think of combining proteins, fruit, and whole grains to keep them energized.

A trail mix snack made with Nestlé Raisinets provides real fruit antioxidants and 30 percent less fat than the leading chocolate brands. Or for a special treat, try this Whole-Wheat Dark Chocolate Zucchini Brownies recipe made with Nestlé Toll House Dark Chocolate Morsels. It has the chocolate taste kids love, and the addition of grated zucchini and wholewheat flour make it mom-approved.

Make every sip count. What your kids are drinking daily has a big impact on overall nutrition. Made from 100 percent fruit juice with no added sugar, Nestlé Juicy Juice 100% Juice is an easy way for you to ensure your kids get at least one of their daily recommended servings of fruits. Pack their favorite flavor in their lunchbox and check out www.juicyjuice.com for product information, tips and recipes. And remember that the majority of your children’s daily fruit intake should come from whole fruit.

Keep savings in mind. In addition to a fast-paced schedule, picking up those much-needed supplies for the academic year can get costly.

Nestlé Family is offering the Happy New School Year* sweepstakes to help make the transition easier. One lucky family will receive a grand prize of $5,000 for school essentials and a

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Whole-wheat Dark Chocolate Zucchini Brownies 1

cup white whole-wheat flour

1/3

cup Nestlé Toll House Baking Cocoa

1-1/4 teaspoons baking soda 1/2

teaspoon coarse salt

1

cup Nestlé Toll House Dark Chocolate Morsels, divided

1/4

cup vegetable oil

1/2

cup packed light brown sugar

1/2

cup granulated sugar

2

large egg whites

1

teaspoon vanilla extract

1-1/2 cups grated zucchini (about 3 medium)

PREHEAT oven to 350° F. Line 9-inchsquare baking pan with foil.

COMBINE flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt in medium bowl.

MELT 3/4 cup morsels in large, microwave-safe bowl on HIGH (100%) power for 1 minute; stir until smooth. Cool slightly. Stir in oil, brown sugar, granulated sugar, egg whites and vanilla extract. Stir in flour mixture; fold in zucchini. Spread into prepared pan.

Sprinkle remaining ¼ cup morsels over top.

BAKE for 30 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out slightly sticky.

Cool completely in pan on wire rack. Lift brownies from pan; cut into 16 squares. Store in airtight container for up to 5 days.

$2,000 Nestlé Literacy Grant to the winner’s school of choice. Every day you enter is a chance to win the grand prize, as well as a daily prize of a $50 gift card.

For more inspiration and ideas on nourishing healthy, happy families during the school year, visit www.NestleFamily.com/ABC. — Family Features

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LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY C O U R I E R , T H E S M I T H V I L L E H E R A L D, G L A D S TO N E D I S PAT C H

The U.S. Department of Agriculture turned the food pyramid on its head earlier this year.

A new food icon, called MyPlate, is replacing the food pyramid.

The icon shows food group proportions that constitute a healthy meal in a simple, understandable way. It is designed to help busy families make good food and portion choices.

“The whole idea of MyPlate is to have people enjoy their food, but eat less,” said Tammy Roberts, nutrition specialist for University of Missouri Extension. “Putting it on a plate shows what a proper portion size on the plate would be and prompts people to only eat that much.”

Ellen Schuster, nutrition specialist for MU Extension said the new icon has one shortfall. MyPlate has nothing that reminds of the importance of being active.

“I really wish they had had some way to include physical activity with the plate,” Schuster said.

“People need to balance what they eat with physical activity, which is an important part of a healthy lifestyle.”

However, the simplicity of MyPlate has real advantages. The simplicity of the graphic makes it easy for children to understand.

“They will say, ‘Mom, you forgot a fruit. Mom, you forgot the milk,’ and once the children know, they can actually help to assure that their meal is healthy,” she said.

Schuster said another problem with MyPlate is it doesn’t address mixed meals such as chili or casserole that combine foods from different categories. However, she said the USDA’s MyPlate website will help address this.

While the icon is simple, the website, www.choosemyplate.gov, provides a wealth of information. People can submit pictures of their own healthy plates. Also, interactive tools like the “Daily Food Plan,” allows you to customize your food needs by age, gender and amount of physical activity. Additionally, “MyFoodapedia” will give you calorie information about specific foods.

— University of Missouri Extension

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