Northland Family - September 2013

The Accidental Parent: Sometimes it takes hiring a village

Flu season will be back before you know it

September 5, 2013 Liberty Tribune The Kearney Courier Gladstone Dispatch

Grandparents on the front line

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Lib e r t y Tri bu ne, The K ea rney C o u ri er, G l a d s to ne Di s pat ch

Bringing back breakfast Soccer practices, dance rehearsals, school work and other weekday activities often make family mealtime seem like a thing of the past. If you’re looking for ways your family can spend more quality time together, consider bringing back breakfast this weekend.

Enjoying each other’s company and a delicious breakfast is the perfect opportunity for your family to reconnect. Use the added time weekend mornings provide to prepare a wonderful, warm meal for your family to sit down and create lasting memories. Make your morning meal a weekend tradition the whole family can look forward to all week long.

Here are some easy tips to help make breakfast a family occasion: Make breakfast special — Each week, request that a family member choose a fun theme for the breakfast table. From sports teams to movie themes to favorite colors — you’ll see that the choices are endless and they can inspire creative breakfast menus.

Find some breakfast helpers — Let the whole family practice their cooking skills by helping you in the kitchen. Serve foods that are easy to dress up, like Hungry Jack pancakes. Sometimes the simple pleasure of a warm plate of pancakes is all you need to create the perfect start to your weekend mornings together.

Create breakfast menu magic — The sky is the limit when you have extra time to craft a hearty breakfast, so serve a variety of foods your family will love.

You can’t go wrong with breakfast classics — from fresh veggie and egg dishes to the warm, fluffy goodness of a stack of Hungry Jack pancakes. Does your family enjoy creating breakfast masterpieces? Try these Upside-Down Breakfast Stacks, made with Hungry Jack pancakes, sausage patties, cheddar cheese and eggs, for a magical take on an ordinary meal.

For more recipes and breakfast tips to bring families together on the weekends, visit www.hungryjack.com.

Upside-Down Breakfast Stacks Crisco Original No-Stick Cooking Spray 3 large eggs, lightly beaten 6 fully cooked sausage patties OR 6 vegetable sausage patties 3/4 cup Hungry Jack Complete Buttermilk Pancake & Waffle Mix 1/2 cup water Shredded sharp cheddar or pepper jack cheese (optional) Hungry Jack Original Syrup HEAT oven to 375°F. Coat 6 muffin cups or glass custard cups generously with no-stick cooking spray.

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$529 up for grabs MOST—Missouri’s 529 College Savings Plan is sponsoring a drawing and essay contest for kindergarten through eighth-grade students to win a $529 contribution to their MOST 529 accounts as part of College Savings Month this September. MOST 529 accounts can be used to cover expenses at an eligible college, technical or trade school.

“Higher education is important, but it can be hard to know where to begin,” said Missouri Treasurer Clint Zweifel, who sponsors MOST 529. “College Savings Month is a great opportunity for families to learn and prepare for their children’s future. Saving early and often is the key to making higher education attainable.”

Missouri children in kindergarten through fifth grade are invited to enter a drawing of what they want to be when they grow up. Two winners will be chosen from this group, one from entrants in kindergarten through second grade and the other from entrants in third through fifth grade.

Missouri students in sixth through eighth grade are invited

to submit an essay explaining how higher education will help them reach their goals. One winner will be selected from this age group.

Entries will be accepted through Sept. 30. Entries will be judged and the winners will be notified by phone in early October. Qualified entrants must read the official rules and complete an entry form available at www.most529savings.com by clicking the College Savings Month button.

Since its inception, MOST has grown to include more than 140,000 member accounts and $2 billion in total assets invested. MOST 529 allows account owners to save in a tax-advantaged investment account that can be used to pay for qualified higher-education expenses such as tuition, certain room and board costs, books and mandatory fees at most four-year colleges and universities, many two-year institutions, vocational schools and some schools abroad.

For more information, visit www.most529savings.com or www.treasurer.mo.gov.

Northland Family is a special section published the first week of each month by Liberty Tribune, The Kearney Courier and Gladstone Dispatch, divisions of NPG Newspapers, Inc. MAILING ADDRESS: 104 N. Main St., Liberty, MO 64068 Advertising inquiries: 816-781-4941 Editorial inquiries: northlandfamily@npgco.com

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Lib e r t y Tri bu ne, The K ea rney C o u ri er, G l a d s to ne Di s pat ch

The Accidental Parent

Hiring your village

By Betsy Lee

I despise the old adage, “it takes a village to raise a child.”

Not because I believe it lacks in accuracy.

It’s pretty darn true.

Either you have a village … or you go crazy.

Screaming-at-inanimate-objects crazy.

Preschoolers-talk-about-you-behind-your-back crazy.

The-dog-hides-from-you-sometimes crazy.

I hate it because I don’t have one.

(A village, that is. A bit of crazy, I’ve got. Trust me.)

But what if you have no village-building prospects — what then?

Suffer in the silence while being with your children essentially 24/7 for years until they are old enough to stay at home alone?

Or throw money at the problem?

After surviving our first five years of parenting experiencing the former, my husband and I successfully hired a daytime caregiver for our kids, as well as trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to hire a regular date-night babysitter as well.

We were tremendously lucky. We found a delightful young woman to care for our children beginning last summer.

She is perfect.

She’s kind, smart, affectionate, considerate, respectful, open and — most importantly — loving.

In the past year, she’s become an integral part of my children’s

lives.

We hired a little village.

And it worked.

Until a while back, when I had to ask, “Will you be around for the fall?”

She hesitated.

Jumpy, I rushed to fill the silence with, “Well, just think about it and let us know.”

Now, I’m waiting.

Waiting, while I watch my daughter clamor to sit on her lap.

Waiting, while I work in my home office listening to my children laugh in the backyard.

Waiting.

And realizing that maybe this “hiring a village” thing isn’t as simple as it originally seemed.

When your village is paid, they can leave at any time. Even if they care deeply, it will eventually end.

Because it has to.

A paid village is less like a village … and more like a hotel.

Luxury or Super 8, in-home or child-care center, Montessori or Waldorf, sooner or later, you gotta leave.

And then what about your children?

Do they understand the loss of the person they love?

The person who kissed their owies and cuddled them during reading time?

I don’t yet.

But I know I’ll find out, eventually.

Betsy Lee is a Kansas City journalist and columnist who lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, three children and two pets. She can be reached at contactbetsylee@gmail.com.

L I B E RTY T R I BU N E, T H E K EA RNEY CO URI ER, GLAD STO NE D I SPAT CH

By Nancy Hull Rigdon

At times, she feels alone in her struggles as a grandparent. She’s raising her 7-year-old granddaughter while also trying to get her daughter clean of drugs and helping her granddaughter cope with the absence of her mother.

FIND SUPPORT WHO: Grandparents and other relatives who parent children WHAT: Northland Grandfamilies Program’s support groups for grandparent and relative caregivers WHEN: Two meeting options: second Wednesday of the month, 10 a.m., North Cross United Methodist Church, 1321 NE Vivion Road, Kansas City; fourth Monday of the month, 6 to 7:30 p.m., Platte Woods United Methodist Church, 7310 NW Prairie View Road, Platte Woods MORE INFORMATION: Christine Brunkow and Diana Milne, University of Missouri Extension, brunkowc@missouri.edu, milned@missouri. edu, 407-3490

“When I listen to everyone else’s story, I realize that no matter how bad you think you have it, someone else has it worse. And if they can get through it, I can do it, too,” Lynn, a Kansas City North woman, said of attending the Northland Grandfamilies Program’s support meetings. She requested the withholding of her last name due to legal concerns.

Those involved in the program lean on one another for support while celebrating the victories. In Lynn’s case, this means sharing that her granddaughter is thriving in school and activities including gymnastics and piano.

This month, the families involved in the program will celebrate another occasion: Grandparents Day on Sept.

8. Several grandparents and their grandchildren will mark the day with a trip to a Kansas City Royals baseball game.

The program seeks to raise awareness of the issues facing grandparents and other relatives who parent through advocacy, education and partnerships with community resources.

In most situations, those involved in the program began raising their grandchildren or other relatives amid

Grandparents on the front line

S EPTEMB ER 5, 2013

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crisis. Grants from Clay County Senior Services and Platte County Senior Fund, as well as resources from the Clay County University of Missouri Extension, support the program. More than 30 individuals attend at least one of the two support group meetings held monthly in the Northland, and the program has 60 families on its mailing list in Clay and Platte counties.

Larry, a Liberty grandparent involved in the program, credits the bonds he’s formed through the program as well as the speakers who have visited the group for helping he and his wife through the hard times. For instance, the advice of a Legal Aid speaker was particularly beneficial.

Larry, who also requested that his last name not be used due to legal concerns, has guardianship of his teenage grandson. Four years ago, when a storm of issues led to his daughter and his grandson’s father no longer being able to care for their son, his grandson went from sleeping in a park to his care. His grandson is now a teenager with his sights set on college, but tough times linger.

The camaraderie Jimmy James, who lives near Gladstone, has found through the program has allowed him to see the humor in his situation while working through hardships.

“I was 55 and planning to retire in two years and get my motorcycle and hit the road, and then one night I got my grandchildren,” he said, laughing at how quickly his life changed. About 14 years ago, while his daughter struggled with drug addiction, her four children came under his care.

They’re now 25- and 26-year-old men and two teenage girls.

After raising his own children, parenting his grandchildren certainly wasn’t the life he envisioned. However, the experience has enriched his life.

“I was too busy making a living when my own kids were growing up.

But I’ve had an opportunity to actually watch my grandchildren grow.

I took them shopping for clothes, braided the girls’ hair when they were little,” James said. “It’s been rewarding. They have kept me young, that’s for sure.”

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Lib e r t y Tri bu ne, The K ea rney C o u ri er, G l a d s to ne Di s pat ch

It’s almost that SEAson Liberty Hospital experts answer your questions about the flu

More information about the flu shot is available at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website:

www.cdc.gov

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With summer over and the kids

concerns about getting a flu shot, talk with your primary care provider and follow his or her recommendations.

back in school, it’s time to start thinking about the next season — flu season. Registered Nurse Jo Micek, an infection preventionist, and Dr. Raghavendra Adiga, an epidemiologist, are the experts at Liberty Hospital who stay abreast of the latest information on influenza. Here, they answer some questions they commonly hear about the flu shot.

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Who needs to get the flu shot?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends everyone get a flu shot, with the exception of infants younger than 6 months old. Dr. Adiga strongly advises high-risk patients, including adults older than age 65, pregnant patients and individuals with chronic illnesses, to definitely get a flu shot.

Caregivers also should get a flu shot — it not only protects the caregiver, but infants and older adults, who are more susceptible to the virus. If you have

When is the best time to get a flu shot?

Anytime between now and Dec. 1 is a good time to get a flu shot. Children between 6 months and 6 years old who are receiving the vaccine for the first time need two shots at four-week intervals for maximum protection and should get their first shot now.

It takes an adult’s immune system about two weeks to develop full immunity, and protection can last up to a year. Ideally, you should get the shot before the holidays and big gatherings, where the flu spreads, Micek recommends.

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How does the vaccine protect me from the flu?

The flu shot uses inactivated or “killed” virus to protect against the three influenza viruses research suggests will be most common this year. The shot cannot cause the flu because it uses inactivated virus. Still, some people experience soreness at the injection site lasting a day or less. Others may have a low-grade fever, muscle pain, discomfort or weakness. Again, these side effects usually are short-lived and are an immune system response.

Is the nasal vaccine as effective as the flu shot?

Yes. Studies have shown that the nasal vaccine is effective at preventing the flu. Be sure to tell your provider your preference. They may ask you several questions to determine if this is the right type of vaccine for you.

Is there any other way to prevent the flu?

To prevent the spread of germs, it’s always a good idea to wash your hands frequently for at least 15 seconds, or use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer. You also should practice good respiratory etiquette and cover your cough.

Where can I get the flu shot?

Schedule an appointment for the flu shot at The Liberty Clinic, 816-7817730 or any of the Liberty Hospital clinics in Kearney or Excelsior Springs; or contact your primary care provider. This also is the perfect time to make sure all your immunizations are up-to-date.

— Liberty Hospital

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LIB E R T Y TRI BU NE, THE K EA RNEY C O U RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H

NEWSBEE’S BOOK BUZZ: Admirable dog heroes People steer clear of bees, other than the reading breed like me, but they don’t collar their affection when it comes to dogs. In his flyovers, Newsbee sees fleets of folks frolicking with their Fidos and is inspired to suggest books about admirable dog heroes. These mutts with guts have left their paw prints on human hearts and provided memories to last a lifetime.

I’m sure you’ll find my September picks bark-worthy and fetching.

“The Incredible Life of Balto”

by Meghan McCarthy You’ll gush over the story of a mush-dog that traveled through an Alaskan blizzard, in 50-degree-below temperatures, pulling a sled loaded with medicine for children stricken with diphtheria. Many have heard of Balto, the lead sled dog, but few know what happened to the husky after his heroic deed.

Prolific author and illustrator Meghan McCarthy brings the rest of the dog’s tale to light in “The Incredible Life of Balto,” another marvelous nonfiction book featuring the googly-eyed characters she’s made famous.

Balto’s journey catapulted the husky to fame, but his good fortune didn’t last. The conditions of his life deteriorated as he moved from owner to owner, each worse than the last. Magnificent Balto, the lifesaver, became a victim of neglect and abuse, himself in need of a savior.

Fortunately, one appears on the scene and Balto is restored to his glory days. It seems turnabout is fair play in this heartfelt story.

Richard Bernal. But the mood of Bernal’s art is serious, too, with sepia-toned, realistic paintings of Civil War heroes, both canine and human, Confederate and Union.

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“Patriotic Pals, Tails of Civil War Dogs”

by Chris Stuckenschneider Step into a zippy jeep and take the ride of your life with Chuck, a sensible border collie, and Tilly, a frou-frou poodle with the appetite of a truck driver.

Join the precocious pals as they take a multi-state road trip to find out about legendary dog heroes from the Civil War in “Patriotic Pals, Tails of Civil War Dogs” by Chris Stuckenschneider.

The pooches’ adventures begin in St. Louis, where quite by happenstance they learn about Sergeant Dick, a stocky mascot that witnesses an early skirmish in the war at Camp Jackson. A portrait of the dog in a museum there piques the pair’s interest — “soon they’re muzzle deep in research” and anxious to discover more folk tales about canines that played an important role in the Civil War, or just served as their master’s best friend.

Chuck and Tilly’s antics spring off the page in colorful caricatures painted by

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“Buddy” by M.H. Herlong The will to overcome obstacles that seem insurmountable make a hero of a border collie in “Buddy,” a novel by M.H. Herlong. It’s a riveting read that brings to light the difficulties a boy faces when Hurricane Katrina forces him to abandon his home, and a dog he adopts after his family accidentally hits it with their car.

Li’l T, almost 13,“started up wanting a dog the day after” he was born. A pooch isn’t in the family plan. A dog costs money, and Li’l T’s parents and grandpa have a hard enough time eking out a living in New Orleans.

Fate intervenes when a homeless dog veers into the path of their automobile. With help from their church friends, enough money is put in the collection plate to get the scraggly dog to the vet — but the news isn’t good — his leg will have to be amputated.

Lil’T finally wears down his family, nursing the border collie he names Buddy back to health. But their newfound friendship is short lived when Hurricane Katrina hits.

“Buddy” is a standout dog story that offers more than the usual fare. It lays bare the catastrophic, emotional cost of losing your home and possessions — and of adjusting to living in a shelter, like an abandoned animal.“Buddy” is not to be missed.

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Hispanic Heritage Month

Top Hispanic Girls Names 1. Sofia 2. Isabella 3. Valentina 4. Camila 5. Valeria 6. Luciana 7. Jimena/Ximena 8. Mariana 9. Maria Jose 10. Victoria

Hispanic Heritage Month is celebrated from Sept. 15 to Oct. 15. The month-long celebration of Hispanic culture recognizes the cultures and history of American citizens with Hispanic ancestry.

Sept. 15 marks the anniversary of independence for five Latin American countries: Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Nicaragua.

Mexico declared independence on Sept. 16, and Chile on Sept. 18.

In 1968, with Lyndon Johnson as President, Congress passed a resolution to observe Hispanic heritage for a week-long event . It wasn’t until President Ronald Reagan, in 1988, expanded the week-long commemoration to a month-long celebration that National Hispanic Heritage Month became law.

Top Hispanic Boys Names

Name game

1. Santiago 2. Matias 3. Sebastian 4. Mateo 5. Nicolas 6. Alejandro 7. Samuel 8. Diego 9. Daniel 10. Benjamin

As of 2010 Census results, there were more than 50 million Hispanics living in the United States, which is up from just more than 35 million reported by the U.S. Census Bureau in 2000. Hispanics have remained the fastest-growing minority population in the country, and their numbers, and contributions, figure to continue growing.

— Metro Creative

For a few years running, Sofia and Santiago have topped the list of most popular Hispanic baby names for many Spanish-speaking nations and those areas of the United States where Spanish is commonly spoken, according to BabyCenter en Espanol. However, recent trends suggest Isabella will soon become more popular than Sofia, thanks in part to the “Twilight” series of books. For boys, the popularity of certain names may be credited to the names of leading men in telenovelas and other elements of popular culture. Right now the names at left remain the most popular among Hispanics for naming their newborns.

— Metro Creative

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