September 2014 LIBERTY TRIBUNE THE KEARNEY COURIER GLADSTONE DISPATCH THE SMITHVILLE HERALD
2
S ept em ber 4 , 2 014
LIB E R T Y T R IBUN E , T HE KE A R N E Y COU RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H, THE S MI THV I L L E HERA L D
Going it
ALONE
Single parents find balance
By Hannah Stine
Being a parent is hard enough, but being a single working parent, that’s a different story. The role of playing both mom and dad can be overwhelming at times, but just as rewarding, too. For some, parenthood didn’t start with a nine-month waiting period. Shane Kilson of Liberty, 21, got an unexpected surprise when he was told he had a 1-month-old son. “I never knew my son’s mom was pregnant or that I was expecting a child at all,” Kilson said.“Most guys have nine months to prepare, but I had nine seconds.” Now the father of a 2-year-old, Kilson says his son Karson has changed his life drastically, all in rewarding ways.
“I know creating a good path for him to follow is very important because he will be in my shoes someday, hopefully in different circumstances though,” Kilson said.“With all these changes all at once and the stress that comes along with being a parent, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Being a parent is the greatest feeling in the world.” Kilson and Karson’s mom are no longer together, so splitting time between the two is a necessity, but it hasn’t been the easiest traveled road. “We are slowly getting better at communication between one another,” Kilson said.“Maturity is huge in circumstances like this — and a lot of patience.” Kilson’s parenting plan is having Karson every other weekend and watching him during days when his son’s mother is at work. “It’s a never-ending process because, unfortunately, we are not together and we will always have a reason to bump heads.” Kilson currently works at a pizza restaurant and plays semi-pro football, hoping to turn that dream into a career. “(The restaurant) is not the greatest job, but it is money in my pocket to take care of my responsibilities and make sure my son has what he needs first and foremost,” Kilson said.“I was young and dumb and had a baby when I wasn’t ready, so under these circumstances comes troubles that not everyone has.”
Single mom Stephanie Reich is no stranger to challenges either after having her son Carter 16 months ago with an ex-boyfriend, knowing they would not reconcile their relationship. “I screamed and cried when I found out I was pregnant,” Reich said.“I was surprised, but I just knew that (Carter) was my baby either way. He was mine.” Reich says she has a great family support system when it comes to her son. “My mom, sister and grandma all take turns watching him when I work,” Reich said.“They really love him a lot.” Reich works part time as a server, and has system when it comes to organizing bills. “I balance and have everything written out,” she said.“I have a calendar with every bill I have to pay and have them spaced out exactly how I want them (paid) throughout the month. I know exactly how much I need to make each week. I pick up shifts if I have to, I just make it work.” Despite her organization, Reich still worries about finances. “If something happened to me, what would happen to Carter?” Reich said.“I would feel like he wouldn’t have anybody if he didn’t have me.” Reich says the special love between a son and mother is “such an unconditional love,” she fears of
NORTHLAND FAMILY IS A SPECIAL SECTION PUBLISHED THE FIRST WEEK OF EACH MONTH BY LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY COURIER, GLADSTONE DISPATCH AND THE SMITHVILLE HERALD, DIVISIONS OF NPG NEWSPAPERS, INC. MAILING ADDRESS: 104 N. MAIN ST., LIBERTY, MO 64068 ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: 816-781-4941 EDITORIAL INQUIRIES: AMY.NEAL@NPGCO.COM ON THE COVER: PHOTO COURTESY CLAY COUNTY PUBLIC HEALTH CENTER
Style STARTS HERE
Monday thruDaycare/Preschool Friday open 7:00 inamthe- 6:00 pm for Voted Best Northland fiVoted ve years a row! 2011inand 2012 Silver Award and 2013 Gold Award for Monday thru Fridayinopen 7:00 am - 6:00 pm Daycare/Preschool The Northland
Over 35 3 years years ofof educating educating and and caring caring for for children children Over
Hair and Nails
Accepting children children ages ages 66 weeks weeks thru thru Kindergarten Kindergarten
816-781-6295 75028422
75030097
650 E. Ruth Ewing Road Liberty, Missouri 64068 www.libertymontessoricenter.com
Best Student/Teacher Student/Teacher Ratio Ratio North North ofof the the River Riverand Best and Excellent Teacher Tenure Excellent Teacher Tenure
• Full Body Waxing • Facials • Chemical Peel • Extensions • Color • Artificial Nails • Gel Polish •Manicures & More!
Salon Eclips 5530 NE Antioch Rd 816-454-7474
L I B E RTY T R I BU N E, T H E K EA RNEY CO URI ER, GLAD STO NE D I SPAT CH, T HE SM IT HVILLE HE R A LD
never having a “complete family.� “I’m afraid I’ll never get married because I never go out to meet people,� Reich said.“I prefer being at home with my son the majority of the time, but it’s hard (going out) because you don’t want to miss out on them growing up.� Secilia Marcelina Cansler, 22, is preparing for solo parenthood in a different way. Her husband, Dalton, 22, is deployed in Australia with the U.S. Marine Corps. From the orders given, Dalton will miss his daughter’s birth and the first month afterward. “It’s extremely hard to prepare for a child without your husband,� Secilia said.“The first thing I’m preparing myself for is my husband not being present for that special day emotionally. I always have to keep reminding myself that everything will be OK, and it will all work out in the long run, but that’s a hard pill to swallow.� Upon Dalton’s return, their new family plans to move back to California to his permanent duty station, Camp Pendleton. “I’m doing everything that I can to prepare for life as a family, but you can only do so much with him being gone, so not feeling prepared causes so much stress,� Secilia said.“It can be overwhelming.� Secilia says her biggest fear preparing for motherhood is finding happiness with her husband away while fearing his safety.
“That moment I look into (my daughter’s) eyes and feel that love, I’m still going to have that feeling of ‘if only he were here,’� she said.“On the other hand, my second worst fear is anything could happen, and not having him there would make any bad situation 10 times worse. But positive thoughts and lots of prayers will make it all the better.� For a mother with her significant other away, Secilia says the best thing to do is to stay strong for each other. “They need you just as much as you need them,� she said.“I can speak for my husband when I say this.There is no other place they wish they could be than to be there at home with you.They sacrifice just like we do if not more, and they love us just as much as we love them.� Having a support system helps rough times seem smoother. “Always make sure that, no matter what, you’re not alone,� Secilia said.“There are so many other men and women in our situations, and you should always make the best out of things. I always tell myself,‘It could be worse.’� As she continues to work as a part time nanny and student, Secilia says she is thankful regardless of her situation. “I am thankful for every moment with or without my husband here. As hard as that is to say, I’m thankful he is alive and coming home eventually. And that’s something to be very happy about.�
S eptemb er 4, 2014
Parental responsibilities are no easy matter, but there are some survival tips for single working parents. Establish boundaries. Find a balance between work and family that fits best for you. Pick your battles. Let trivial matters aside and recognize which situations warrant discussions. Find your support system. Whether it be family or friends, figure out which people or persons you know you can rely on to be there for you and your child in dire times. Explore other assistance. Explore necessary programs that may be available to you to help make life a little more manageable. Pay attention to your needs. Though your child may be your top priority, don’t forget to focus on yourself. It can be profound on your mental and physical health as well as your child’s well-being.
The best place for my dad “I think the entire staff are exceptional, very compassionate, very attentive, and wonderful to my dad. It is a very, very clean and wonderful environment that I have recommended to several friends for their parents. I don’t think there could be a better place.� Sandy B., Family Member
Call or stop by today for a tour, then stay for a free lunch! 7KH *DUGHQV DW %DUU\ 5RDG ‡ $VVLVWHG /LYLQJ 0HPRU\ &DUH 8300 N.W. Barry Rd., Kansas City, MO 64153-1634
75015565
3
‡ ZZZ %HWKHVGD6HQLRU/LYLQJ FRP
4
S ept em ber 4 , 2 014
LIB E R T Y T R IBUN E , T HE KE A R N E Y COU RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H, THE S MI THV I L L E HERA L D
PARENTING PRIC E TAG:
$245,340 Expenses add up from pregnancy to age 18 The shelter, snacks, sneakers and sundries parents provide for their children aren’t cheap. Last month the U.S. Department of Agriculture released its annual report, Expenditures on Children and Families, also known as the Cost of Raising a Child. The report shows that a middle-income family with a child born in 2013 can expect to spend about $245,340 ($304,480 adjusted for projected inflation) for food, housing, childcare and education, and other
“In today’s economy, it’s important to be prepared with as much information as possible when planning for the future,” said USDA Food, Nutrition and Consumer Services Under Secretary Kevin Concannon. “In addition to giving families with children an indication of expenses they might want to be prepared for, the report is a critical resource for state governments in determining child support guidelines and foster care payments.” The report, issued annually, is based on data from the federal government’s Consumer Expenditure Survey, the most comprehensive source of information available on household expenditures. For the year 2013, annual child-rearing expenses per child for a middle-income, two-parent family ranged from $12,800 to $14,970, depending on the age of the child. The report, developed by the USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion, notes that family income affects child-rearing costs. A family earn-
child-rearing expenses up to age 18. Costs associated
Melroe s School of Dance
Open House
with pregnancy or expenses occurred after age 18, such as higher education, are not included. While this represents an overall 1.8 percent increase from 2012, the percentages spent on each
September 8, 9 & 10 5:00 pm - 9:00 pm
expenditure category remain the same. As in the past, the costs by location are lower in the urban South Families in the urban Northeast incurred the highest costs to raise a child ($282,480).
75030350
($230,610) and rural ($193,590) regions of the country.
816-781-6989
ENROLL NOW!
Classes fill up quickly!
Find us on Facebook Instagram Twitter and YouTube
1021 Brown St., Liberty, MO 64068 • visit us at www.melroesdance.net
L I B E RTY T R I BU N E, T H E K EA RNEY CO URI ER, GLAD STO NE D I SPAT CH, T HE SM IT HVILLE HE R A LD
S eptemb er 4, 2014
5
“Variations by geographic region are marked when we look at housing, for example,” said study author and CNPP economist Mark Lino. “The average cost of housing for a child up to age 18 is $87,840 for a middle-income family in the urban West, compared to $66,240 in the urban South, and $70,200 in the urban Midwest. It’s interesting to note that other studies are showing that families are increasingly moving to these areas of the country with lower housing cost.” In 1960, the first year the report was issued, a middle-income family could have expected to spend $25,230 ($198,560 in 2013 dollars) to raise a child until the age of 18. Housing was the largest child-rearing expense both then and now. Health care expenses for a child have doubled as a percentage of total child-rearing costs during that time. In addition, some common current-day costs, such as child care, were negligible in 1960. Expenses per child decrease as a family has more children. Families with three or more children spend 22 percent less per child than families with two children. As families have more children, the children can share bedrooms, clothing and toys can be handed down to younger children, food can be purchased in larger and more economical quantities, and private schools or child care centers may offer sibling discounts. The full report, Expenditures on Children by Families, 2013, is available on the web at www.cnpp.usda.gov. In addition, families can enter the number and ages of their children to obtain an estimate of costs with a calculator via the interactive web version of the report. — U.S. Department of Agriculture
ing less than $61,530 per year can expect to spend a total of $176,550 (in 2013 dollars) on a child from birth up to age 18. Two-parent middle-income households with children with an income between $61,530 and $106,540 can expect to spend $245,340; and a family earning more than $106,540 can expect to spend $407,820. “Food is among the top three expenses in raising children,” said CNPP Executive Director Angela Tagtow. “Parents have the challenge of providing food that is not only healthful and delicious, but also affordable. We have great resources such as ChooseMyPlate.gov that features tips to help families serve nutritious and affordable meals. I encourage parents to check out our Healthy Eating On a Budget resources, 10-Tips Nutrition Series, recipes, and MyPlate Kids’ Place, which features digital games for kids to get engaged themselves in healthy eating.” For middle-income families, housing costs are the single largest expenditure on a child, averaging 30 percent of the total cost. Child care and education was the second largest expense at 18 percent, followed by food, which accounted for 16 percent of the total cost.
You get to choose how you’re REWARDED! Sign up to SAVE 5% on FOOD or continue to use your points on FUEL savings at QuikTrip. Either way, you’ll earn REWARDS just by shopping at Price Chopper! Your Chopper Shopper REWARDS Card earns you savings on gas at QuikTrip!
75030345
9717 N. Ash Avenue Kansas City, MO 64157 (816) 883-2770
896 S. 291 Hwy. Liberty, MO 64068 (816) 781-4649
6
S ept em ber 4 , 2 014
LIB E R T Y T R IBUN E , T HE KE A R N E Y COU RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H, THE S MI THV I L L E HERA L D
It’s all in your
HEAD Rattling your brain. Seeing stars. Getting
your bell rung. What once may have been shaken off and laughed about, today coaches and student athletes are taking seriously: concussions and head injuries. More than 1.5 million people suffer a concussion each year, many of them happening during sports. A concussion is a brain injury caused by biomechanical forces.
Concussions, head injuries need to be taken seriously
“It largely reflects a functional injury best described as an energy crisis at the cellular level, so no abnormality is seen on neuroimaging (CT or MRI),” said Dr. Kyle Schneweis, who is board certified in sports medicine and family medicine and is practicing at The Liberty Clinic.
THE
75030086
EXCELSIOR SPRINGS
connected to you.
CLINIC
An affiliate of Liberty Hospital
816-630-6071
816-628-4409
816-781-7730
816-407-5430
L I B E RTY T R I BU N E, T H E K EA RNEY CO URI ER, GLAD STO NE D I SPAT CH, T HE SM IT HVILLE HE R A LD
A concussion typically results in the rapid onset of short-lived impairment in neurologic function resulting in several common signs and symptoms. These symptoms can begin appearing immediately, or they can take hours to develop. “Anytime someone has a blow to the head or a blow to the body that was transmitted to the head and has any of these symptoms, he or she should be evaluated by a physician familiar with concussions and their management,” said Schneweis, who has treated hundreds of concussions at the youth, high school, college and professional levels of sports.
A concussion is not something someone can just shake off. “While the vast majority of cases of concussions are short lived, such as one to three weeks, in some cases, post-concussive symptoms may be prolonged,” Schneweis said.“The risk of this is increased if the concussions are not managed by a knowledgeable physician, if the person returns to activity before full recovery or if the person suffers repeat concussions.” Parents can help ensure their child’s safety by making sure that he or she is being taught proper techniques, such as heads-up tackling in football and that the rules of the sport that are
S eptemb er 4, 2014
designed to minimize head injuries are being enforced. “To date, no helmet or other piece of personal equipment has been shown to reduce the incidence of concussions,” Schneweis said. He recommends that every child age 12 and older who is playing a contact sport have a baseline neuropsych (NP) test done every two years. “This can aid the physician in making sure the child is fully recovered from a concussion should it occur,” said Schneweis, who completed a year-long sports medicine fellowship, which required intensive concussion training.
Physical — loss of consciousness, amnesia, poor balance or visual tracking Emotional — irritability, emotional liability Cognitive — slowed reaction times, feeling like in a fog, difficulty learning Sleep disturbance — drowsiness, insomnia
If you have unsightly spider or varicose veins, we can help!
“Viscosupplementation”
We accept Medicare and most insurance plans
Somatic — headache, neck pain, dizziness
Say “Goodbye” to the heat and your varicose or spider veins!
WE OFFER A NON-SURGICAL OPTION!
Treatment
Signs and Symptoms of Concussions
— Liberty Hospital
KNEE PAIN? • Safe • Comfortable • Effective
7
Stop Pain Now
Call today for a FREE vein screening! 816-792-1188
We ALWAYS offer a FREE CONSULTATION!
• Accept most insurance plans • Minimally invasive treatments • All procedures done in office • State of the art equipment • Treatments completed in as little as 45 minutes
816-452-4488 *Space is limited to 1st 25 callers
Northland Physical Medicine • 5601 NE Antioch Rd, Ste 7; Gladstone, MO • 816-452-4488
NorthlandPhysicalMedicine.com
75030449
Dr. Angela Garner, MD / Laurie Champ - Nurse Practitioner (APRN) / Dr. Kendra Pearson, DC Dr. Bryna Miller DC / Nikki Anderson - Physical Therapist (DPT) / Beth Wilson - Physical Therapist Assistant / Christy Marsh: Nutritionist / Abbie Russell: Massage Therapist, Certified Personal Trainer, Rehab Technician / Crystal Stuerke: Medical Assistant / Kyra Wiggins - Front Desk/Massage Therapist Offer Disclaimer: The patient and any other person responsible for payment has the right to refuse to pay, cancel payment, or be reimbursed payment for any service, examination, or treatment which is performed as a result of and within 72 hours of responding to this advertisement for the free service examination or treatment. This offer is invalid when Workers’ Compensation, Medicare and/or automotive insurance laws govern payment by these carriers. Not redeemable for cash.
FIND US ON FACEBOOK 75030453
2529 Glenn Hendren Dr, Suite #G60, Liberty MO 64068 816-792-1188 • TheVeinDoctor.org @THEVEINDR Mention Liberty Tribune and get 10% off one Sclerotherapy Treatment to treat unwanted Spider Veins!
S ept em ber 4 , 2 014
LIB E R T Y T R IBUN E , T HE KE A R N E Y COU RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H, THE S MI THV I L L E HERA L D
Nutrition fuels performance for young athletes This time of year the school football fields are filled with young athletes who aspire for a winning season. Practice is important for athletic success but don’t forget about the role of good nutrition for peak athletic performance. “Good stamina and energy are a result of regularly eating healthy meals” said Tammy Roberts, a nutrition and health education specialist for the University of Missouri Extension. “Timing of meals and choice of food can also have an impact on physical performance.” One of the most important things for a young athlete to know is that the energy they use on game day actually comes from the food they have eaten over the past several days so it is important to eat well
examples of a good snack include: cereal with low-fat milk, yogurt, graham crackers with fruit, and pudding with whole wheat crackers. All athletes have to decide what will settle best on their stomach. Stomach problems occur most often in running sports because of the up and down motion. Stomach problems also occur more often in young athletes and athletes who are tense. A snack less than one hour before the game is more likely to cause stomach upset. (There are instances though when eating during exercise can have a benefit.)
every day; not just on game day. Eating well every day means eating a variety of foods from all of the food groups. On game day, two to four hours before the game, have a lean protein and carbohydrate source along with a low fiber fruit. Examples would be juice, peaches, cherries or melon. High fiber could cause an upset stomach during the game. “An example of the lean protein with carbohydrate meal could be a turkey sandwich or cereal with milk” said Roberts. If the young athlete hasn’t eaten within four hours of game time, a pre-game snack two hours or so before the game is important. Some
Games and hard practices can take a toll on the body. Recovery of the body is important for the next practice or game. A good breakfast is important every day but especially important after a hard practice or a game. That breakfast will help the body to recover so it is ready for the next time. A well-nourished athlete is an athlete that is able to perform at their absolute best. Keep healthy foods on hand so your young athlete is ready for their gold medal performance. — University of Missouri Extension
Thank You for Voting Us Best in the Northland William S. Tinsley, D.D.S. | Christopher H. Shultz, D.D.S. Brook A. Derenzy, D.D.S.
William S. Tinsley, D.D.S
Christopher H. Shultz, D.D.S
Brook A. Derenzy, D.D.S
Our practice is committed to providing you and your family with safe, gentle, high quality dental care. We understand that you, or your child, may feel anxious about visiting the dentist. We are sensitive to your needs, and it is our goal to make you feel comfortable visiting our practice while providing you with the best care possible. Your first visit is all about you – your comfort, your happiness, and your health.
75030459
8
2 Westwoods Drive | Liberty, MO 64068 | (816) 781-1430
L I B E RTY T R I BU N E, T H E K EA RNEY CO URI ER, GLAD STO NE D I SPAT CH, T HE SM IT HVILLE HE R A LD
Vaccines aren’t just for babies Leaving their phone at a friend’s house, suddenly needing a ride somewhere … you knew there would be days like this. But did you know that you’d also need to take your preteens and teens to get shots? As they get older, kids are at increased risk for some infections. Plus the protection provided by some of the childhood vaccines begins to wear off, so kids need a booster dose. You may have heard about pertussis (whooping cough) outbreaks recently. Vaccine-preventable diseases are still real. The vaccines for preteens and teens can help protect your kids, as well as their friends, community and other family members. There are four recommended vaccines that preteens should get when they are 11 to 12 years old. If you have an older kid like a teen, they’ll need a booster dose of one of the shots. Plus it’s not too late to get any shots they may have missed. You can use any health care visit, including sports physicals or some sick visits, to get the shots your kids need. The vaccines for preteens and teens are: HPV vaccine for both boys and girls, which protects against the types of HPV that most commonly cause cancer. HPV can cause cancers of the cervix, vulva and vagina in women and cancers of the penis in men. In both women and men, HPV also causes mouth/throat cancer, anal cancer and genital warts. Tdap vaccine is a booster against tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis.
S eptemb er 4, 2014
9
Pertussis, or whooping cough, can keep kids out of school and activities for weeks. It can also be spread to babies, and this can be very dangerous and sometimes deadly. Meningococcal vaccine, which protects against meningococcal disease. Meningococcal disease is caused by bacteria and is a leading cause of bacterial meningitis – a serious infection around the brain and spinal cord. Influenza (flu) vaccine, because even healthy kids can get the flu, and it can be serious. All kids, including your preteens and teens, should get the flu vaccine every year. Talk with a doctor, nurse, or clinic about the vaccines for preteens and teens. Even though they may not realize it, your kids still need you for more than a chauffeur. They need you to continue protecting their health by getting them these important and life-saving vaccines. For more about the vaccines for preteens and teens, check out www.cdc. gov/vaccines/teens or call 1-800-CDC-INFO. — Clay County Public Health Center
A New Beginning
with Familiar Faces and in a Familiar Place
8781 n. platte purchase drive kansas city, mo 64155 tel 816.587.3200 fax 816.587.7644
www.pediatriccarenorth.com Susan L. Storm MD Laurie D. Riddell MD Ermalyn Kubart MD Stephanie A Marx MD Kathyrn Hauptmann MD
75030352
Melissa J. Beard MD Stephanie R. Bays DO Heather J. Malone MD Kathleen Ballenger PNP
25Years
What does it mean to live a healthy lifestyle? Begin by visiting us for regular well woman visits and preventive screenings. Call us today to make your appointment. Remember to follow us at www.facebook.com/SpellFitchwc Spell~ Fitch Women’s Care thanks everyone for their support and new patient referrals. 75030454
WOMEN’S CARE
6144 N NW W EEnglewood nglewood R Rdd Kansas City, MO 64118
(816) 621-7700 www.SpellFitch.com
10
S EPT EM BER 4 , 2 014
Every ounce counts Nearly 20 participants attended the second annual World Breastfeeding Week celebration at Clay County Public Health Center hosted Aug. 1 by the Women, Infants & Children Nutrition Program. Three of the breastfeeding moms modeled different types of baby wraps and how to use them (as seen on this page and on the cover), and Healthcare USA discussed how insurance companies provide breastfeeding support.The event also included infant car seat safety, infant massage and other breastfeeding resources available in the Northland. “We were so glad to see some dads and grandparents here this year,” Julia Hladky, breastfeeding peer counselor with Clay County Public Health Center said of the celebration.“Family support for the breastfeeding mom is so very important. Research has shown that there is no better food than breast milk for a baby’s first year of life. Breastfeeding provides many benefits — nutritionally, economically and emotionally to both mother and baby. Every ounce counts.” Speakers for the event were Allen Pettigrew and Zoela Gonzalez, Healthcare USA; lactation consultant Mary Weiss, North Kansas City Hospital; Kathleen Welton, CCPHC Car Seat Safety Program; infant massage therapist Karen Carmack; and Christina Vaughn, LaLecheLeague.
LIB E R T Y T R IBUN E , T HE KE A R N E Y COU RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H, THE S MI THV I L L E HERA L D
Extra support for nursing moms On Aug. 28, the bill signed by Missouri Governor Jay Nixon that excuses breastfeeding mothers from jury duty, with a doctor’s written excuse, and protects them from public indecency charges when nursing or pumping milk in public, became law. House Bill 1320 was passed earlier this year by all members of the Missouri General Assembly without a single “nay” vote. The benefits of breastfeeding to both mother and baby are significant, including a reduced risk of childhood infections and conditions such as obesity, asthma and diabetes later in life. Breastfeeding also saves families money: formula may cost $1,500 or more for the first year of a baby’s life, and health care costs could be less if there are fewer ear infections and other illnesses. — Mother & Child Health Coalition
Healthy Eyes. Better Vision. Quality Eye Care for Your Whole Family 211 NE 54th Street #202, Kansas City, MO 64118
www.Perfect2020.com
75029445
816-448-8726
75030085
Squeeze in a little time
12
S ept em ber 4 , 2 014
LIB E R T Y T R IBUN E , T HE KE A R N E Y COU RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H, THE S MI THV I L L E HERA L D
The Accidental Parent
Daddy’s girl By Betsy Lee
When I was a little girl, I adored my father’s hands. He used to wrap his thick fingers around my wrist, marveling at my petite bones and tiny features. And when I’d tuck myself in next to him, sometimes — my favorite times — he’d wrap one square palm around my ponytail; then, tugging ever so slightly, he’d run his fingers down the length of my thick, wavy mane. This simple, mindless gesture meant that I belonged to him. That I had a place. That I was home.
I loved my father with a girlish adoration in my early years. He was the big, strong man who could whip me through the air as though I weighed little more than the softball bats he loved. He was my solace when I felt that the world — and the rest of my family — just didn’t understand my quirks and sensitivities. He was my champion and my sometimes a-bit-too-fierce protector. That didn’t change overnight. The wall between my Dad and I was built stone by stone, year by year. I think it began with bras and boyfriends; endless phone calls, sleepovers and driver’s licenses; proms, college applications and, eventually, moving boxes and a dormsized mini-fridge. When he dropped me off at college, a state away, we sat alone in the car together for a few moments before saying goodbye. It’s the second time in my life I saw my dad cry.
My father, classically uncomfortable with a telephone to his ear, began to get the news of my life filtered through my mother. Even when he’d answer, I’d get a few quick responses before he’d pass the receiver and my mom and I would chatter half an hour away. I always assumed she’d fill him in later. My life filled up. I came home less. I took internships and fellowships. I tried my hat at graduate school. After my parents divorced, even fewer messages were relayed. I didn’t call my dad to get advice on my son’s high fever. He never offered to babysit. And I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to hear about his girlfriend or new schedule of dance classes and wine tastings. One day I woke up and realized it’d been three months since I’d last spoken to him. Our lives had become so removed that a quarter of a year could pass and neither of us noticed
or cared enough to call. For a while, I blamed him. I was the child, I thought. I have three children and a job and a husband and a dog and a house. It’s not my job to reach out. He should call. He should remember my children’s birthdays. He should want, desperately, to be in my life. I am his child. And he is my dad. I was angry. Angry because when I watch my husband tend to his two little girls, I can see how much they need him.The look of contentment in their
King of Kings Preschool Preschool & Pre-Kindergarten for Ages 3, 4 & 5
~Italian Deli & Pasta ~
Kathy O’Donnell
BUY ONE MEATBALL SUB
Director
75030311
6100 NE Antioch Rd. Gladstone, MO 64119 (816) 459-9500 Fax (816) 459-7029
816-436-3864 1701 NE 96th Street Kansas City, MO 64155 preschool@kokkc.org www.kingofkings-lcms.net
WITH A MEDIUM DRINK
GET ONE FREE 75030346
Expires 09/30/14
L I B E RTY T R I BU N E, T H E K EA RNEY CO URI ER, GLAD STO NE D I SPAT CH, T HE SM IT HVILLE HE R A LD
eyes when he wraps his arms around them.The way their bodies relax when he scoops them up and they rest their tiny chins on his shoulder. They belong to him. In him, they have a place. They have a home. I’ve missed that. But it’s not just my dad’s fault. Perhaps a little sadly, I’m too grown up for that simple, one-sided way of thinking. From the outside, I’m sure that my life looks crazy, hectic and entirely complete. Bedtimes and naptimes make it hard to stop by. Sometimes I can’t hear myself over the childish voices begging to talk to “Ganpa.” Between work colleagues, friends and neighbors, I often find myself flipping through my calendar searching for a free date. I helped build the wall too. And I really never bothered to invite him back in. Maybe it’s time. Maybe in the spirit of the holidays and the coming together of families, maybe it’s time to open my schedule and my life. Maybe I need to make room. So if you read this, Dad, I love you. And if sometime, you reached up and let your hand run down my ponytail, I wouldn’t move away. Betsy Lee is a Kansas City journalist and columnist who lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, four children and pets. She can be reached at contactbetsylee@gmail.com.
S eptemb er 4, 2014
13
The sweet smell of failure By Yvonne Ruff
As I looked in the rear view mirror at my child’s tear-stained face, my heart jumped with joy at his pain and suffering. My son had just done poorly in a competition. He could not speak for almost an hour, the bewilderment over losing was just too much for him to handle. Secretly, though, my husband and I were thrilled. It was just what he needed to experience. He is a child who rarely loses, ever, due to his incredible talent in many areas.This loss was a great experience for him. When children win all the time, whether it is because they honestly win or society makes sure “everyone wins,” it causes the person to become complacent in their work. If you never have to try very hard, then why ever exert any additional effort? Why not just play video games instead of studying or practicing? Imagine a person who has never been allowed to fail. Meaning, there is always a parent hovering in the background, running around, talking to teachers, talking to coaches, making sure this child is placed exactly where they need to be to NEVER FAIL. Imagine what this person will grow up to believe: Life is easy and I don’t have to try.
Now Enrolling: Infants, Toddlers, Preschool & Kindergarten
• Quality, Loving Environment For Children ... • Assist Children With Mental, Social, Emotional & Physical Development ... • Help Foster A Love for Learning
Everything always goes my way. I recently heard of a parent (of a child who was never allowed to fail) speaking of how the child was asked to be in two events at the same time. There were requirements to be in both during the same time frame, and rules would have to be broken to be in both. This parent explained that he had been on the phone all day fixing this situation for his daughter. I personally don’t agree with this mentality. When my kids reach adulthood, the world will not bend and mold itself to my children’s lives, so why do that now? They need to be in unpleasant situations, they need to have teachers they don’t get along with, they need to fall behind, they need to not have enough money for something they want, they need to have enemies, they need to learn that life is hard and
we have to work through situations, not avoid them. I suggest to try and work things out for your child when needed, but don’t break rules and attempt to bend the system. Work within the boundaries set before them. If it works out, great, if it doesn’t, let it go and make the best of the situation. Last year, for the first time, I requested a particular class arrangement for my son. My request was not honored. At that point I explained to my son that he had a lot of “learning opportunities” available since his situation was not ideal. In an effort to look at the good side of things, we decided every challenge he faced just helped him become much more patient and understanding in dealing with disagreeable situations.This year I made a similar
Park Lawn Northland Chapel “Family owned since 1922” I-35 & M291 Highway
Park Lawn offers a complete funeral service and beautiful, quality metal casket for only .......... Save Hundreds of Dollars –60 months, interest free.
$5,695.00
Easy budget plan freezes the price. Protect your insurance, savings and investments.
Services Include:
All Professional Services, Use of Motor Equipment Professional Staff, Skilled Attendants Serving All Cemeteries
Beautiful Facilities, Convenient Location, Ample Off-Street Parking, Uncompromised Service.
On Call 24 Hours Per Day.
75030609
Call Don Brassfield for an appointment 75024460
Since 1977
816-781-8228
14
S EPT EM BER 4 , 2 014
request; this is after two years of him using the circumstances as a learning tool. As I write this article, I wonder if I have made the right decision by making this request. Failing or being unhappy as a child is much easier to take than failing as an adult.The stakes are much lower and aren’t so devastating. If the first time life hands someone a lemon is after they have moved out and have a job, consider the consequences. Losing a job (instead of failing a test). Losing a car (instead of a bike). Losing a spouse (instead of a friend). Allow your child to experience life “in the raw,” meaning no one is there to fix every single thing in their lives.There are many life lessons to be learned by your child by being in non-ideal situations. My husband and I strive to teach our kids that no matter what life hands us, we can work with it. We want them to learn life lessons now so that as adults they aren’t hit with the hard brick wall of “Hey, that didn’t go my way … now what? Oh, wait, let me call Mom, she’ll fix it.” Clearly, this is not an ideal mindset. We have a famous dog trainer who lives close to us. When he trains his dogs, he makes them work hard to find the prize, and then they get a treat. Imagine that one dog went through the normal routine of learning to work hard, while another dog was always given the treat, just by simply showing up.The dog that had to work hard would look much better than the one that never had to work for its treat.The difference in the dog’s performance would be obvious after just months of training. Now, imagine your child being trained for 18 years that they don’t have to work hard for anything and that everything always works out to their benefit. In a world of “everyone wins” mentality, I suggest you make sure your child doesn’t. Enjoy the sweet smell of failure. Yvonne Ruff is a Northland wife and mother of two boys, who enjoys writing and gardening between her technical career and running kids all over town.
LIB E R T Y T R IBUN E , T HE KE A R N E Y COU RI ER, G L A D S TO NE D I S PATC H, THE S MI THV I L L E HERA L D
Book Buzz: Accepting our differences Around the hive, some bees are fuzzier and buzzier than others. We’re far from being cookie-cutter insects, identical in every way. But we work together, “Accepting our differences” for the good of the group, and with sweet results. This month Newsbee has selected books that highlight characters on slightly different flight patterns, overcoming obstacles along the way.
Little Elliott, Big City by Mike Curato A tiny, polkadot pachyderm has a trunk-full of problems in “Little Elliott, Big City,” a book as appealing as a cloud of cotton candy. Written and illustrated by Mike Curato, “Little Elliott” is sure to win your heart, big time. Living in the hustling, bustling city, Elliott feels a bit lost. No one pays attention to him, and even life at home is trying. Why, he isn’t even tall enough to reach the ice cream in his freezer, or wash the dishes without sitting in the sink. “Still Elliott enjoyed the little things … small treasures … and most of all, cupcakes!” Trying to buy one presents another troublesome conundrum — Elliott can’t reach the counter, and is passed over again. Sadness sets in until a white knight appears out of the gloom, in the form of a bitty mouse. Vintage pictures in muted pastel shades and a feel-good story combine to make “Elliott” extra special, one of Newsbee’s top picks of the fall.
A Boy and a Jaguar by Alan Rabinowitz Little Alan is a stutterer. If he tries to “push words out” his “head and body shake uncontrollably.” So begins a stellar read that will knock your spots off, “A Boy and a Jaguar” by Alan Rabinowitz.
Though Alan has issues verbalizing his wants and needs to his friends and family, he can sing without stuttering and talk to his pets without a hitch. His parents and teachers don’t really know what to do to help him, and Alan quickly learns to just be quiet. There is one place, though, where Alan is a different boy, the Bronx Zoo. His father takes him there, and Alan whispers to a lone Jaguar in a cage, with nary a hint of a stutter.
Those trips to visit the wildcats, plant a seed that later germinates in a miraculous way in the jungles of Belize where Alan finds a way to make his voice heard. Emotion reigns supreme on pages lavishly painted by Cátia Chien. Reprinted with permission, Missourian Publishing Company. Copyright 2014.
We Will Get Your Kids to School. • Van service offers families in the Northland easy transportation access to Pembroke Hill School - one of Kansas City’s finest independent schools serving students age 2 to 12th grade. • Three stops: I-35 & Hwy. 152 • I-29 & 64th St. • Briarcliff • 15-seat van with seat belts; car seats and booster seats available.
For more info: 816-936-1231 anoonan@pembrokehill.org The Pembroke Hill School 400 W. 51st St. 5121 State Line Road
www.pembrokehill.org
www.facebook.com/PembrokeHillSchool 75030602
Se p t e m b e r 4 , 2 0 1 4
15
Bring gluten-free
BROOKIES
The end of summer marks the beginning of the busy back-to-school season. From PTA meetings and fundraisers to team parties, there are lots of gatherings that require delicious baked goods. To make sure everyone who attends can enjoy the treats, try the gluten-free brookie. It’s a creative combination of two favorites: half chocolate chip cookie, half brownie, perfect for all tastes and dietary preferences. “These recipes are so good, guests won’t believe they’re gluten-free,” said Mary Beth Harrington of the McCormick Kitchens. “And, you don’t have to sacrifice flavor because all our extracts are gluten-free — so feel free to add a splash of raspberry, pepperMICHAEL POHUSKI mint or orange extract to the batter.” For more delicious gluten-free baking ideas, visit McCormick.com, Pinterest. com/McCormickSpice or Facebook.com/McCormickSpice.
Gluten-free brookies Servings: 5 dozen
Brownie batter 2 cups granulated sugar 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1/2 cup cornstarch 1/2 cup sorghum flour 2 tablespoons tapioca flour 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 cup (2 sticks) butter 4 eggs 1 tablespoon McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract Cookie dough 1 3/4 cups cornstarch 1 1/2 cups sorghum flour 1/4 cup tapioca flour 1 1/2 teaspoons xanthan gum 1 teaspoon baking soda 3/4 teaspoon salt 1 1/3 cups butter, softened 3/4 cup granulated sugar 3/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar 3 eggs 4 teaspoons McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract 1 package (12 ounces) semi-sweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 375°F. For brownie batter, mix granulated sugar and cocoa powder in large bowl. Set aside. Mix cornstarch, sorghum flour, tapioca flour, baking powder, xanthan gum and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. Microwave butter in large microwavable bowl on HIGH 2 minutes or until melted. Stir in cocoa mixture until well blended. Add eggs and vanilla; mix well. Gradually stir in flour mixture until well blended. Set aside. For cookie dough, mix cornstarch, sorghum flour, tapioca flour, xanthan gum, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. Beat butter and sugars in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla; mix well. Gradually beat in flour mixture on low speed until well mixed. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop brownie batter by scant tablespoons about 2 inches apart onto ungreased baking sheets.Top each with rounded tablespoon of cookie dough, placing it slightly to the side of instead of directly on top of brownie. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until cookie is lightly browned and brownie is set. Cool on baking sheets 1 minute. Remove to wire racks; cool completely. Read labels of all recipe ingredients to ensure all are gluten-free. — Family Features
75018931
2015 Season Passports on Sale Now! 75030598