Northland Family - September 2015

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September 2015 LIBERTY TRIBUNE THE KEARNEY COURIER GLADSTONE DISPATCH THE SMITHVILLE HERALD


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Support group educates, aids non-traditional families By Amanda Lubinski Northland Grandfamilies, a support group open to grandparents raising grandchildren, as well as other relatives taking over parenting roles, will hold its annual free conference from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Friday, Oct. 16, at Pleasant Valley Baptist Church, 1600 N. Missouri Highway 291 in Liberty. This year’s theme is “We Are Better Together” and will feature five topics and two breakout sessions, program associate Christine Brunkow said. Conference topics include: legal

issues surrounding adoption and guardianship, children with special needs, basics of Medicare and Medicaid, and brain health. “Information for brain health and fraud watch are initiatives from AARP. They are a partner of ours, so we will be working with them and sharing their resources and expertise on these issues,” Brunkow said. Other partners are Clay County Senior Services, Platte County Senior Fund, Kansas City Health Department, Platte County Health Department, University of Missouri

Extension and Local Investment Commission. The conference aims to bring awareness to the community about issues involved with grandparents and others raising children, and to provide resources and support to those raising relatives’ children. “We will have exhibitors, morning refreshments and a catered lunch,” Brunkow said. No child care will be provided. Registration is open through Friday, Oct. 9. To register, call 877926-8300 or visit http://aarp.cvent. com/MO/grandfamiliesKC15.

In addition to holding an annual conference, Northland Grandfamilies holds bi-monthly support group meetings on the second and fourth Wednesday of the month. On the second Wednesday, the group meets from 10 a.m. to noon at North Cross United Methodist Church, 1321 NE Vivion Road, Kansas City. On the fourth Wednesday, the group meets from 6 to 7 p.m. at Platte Woods United Methodist Church, 7310 NW Prairie View Road, Kansas City. Child care is provided for the bimonthly meetings.

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Empowering parents as educators By Ryne Dittmer The Parents as Teachers program believes that parents can be the first and most influential teacher for their children and that increased parent involvement in a child’s early years can lead to greater performance throughout their

education. Designed to provide parents with resources and support to promote learning and skill development during their children’s early years, Parents as Teachers is available for families from pregnancy to starting kindergarten. While each district in the state hosts its

own program, primary services include personal home visits with a parent educator, access to the Parents as Teachers resource network and groups, and developmental screenings. The program can trace its beginnings to Missouri. As noted on the national organization’s website, during the 1970s

teachers in the state began recognizing that some students began kindergarten more prepared for school than others. In an effort to try to help all students begin their first year on the right foot, the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education and The Danforth Foundation piloted Parents as Teachers in 1981. State funding was secured in 1985, and from there, the program has reached every state and six other countries.

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Bullying prevention takes teamwork By Jena Sauber | NPG Newspapers It can start as a single hurtful comment or mean joke, but bullying has the potential to be detrimental to children’s physical and emotional well-being, according to local parent educators. Stopping that cycle takes teamwork with parents at the center. “Bullying is something that is physically or emotionally harmful, or even just makes that person uncomfortable,” said Shawna Carden, regional coordinator of zone one of MPact, a parent training and information center. “When you are intentionally trying to hurt someone physically or emotionally, that’s when it becomes bullying. It’s not just conflict.”

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Although people typically think about physical bullying, it extends beyond that, said Leah Clausen, regional coordinator with region six of MPact. The idea that it’s the “bigger boy picking on the little girl” is no longer accurate, Carden says. “Even though that might be what we all think of, that’s not necessarily the broad spectrum,” Clausen said. “That’s not always who the bully is. It could be anyone, regardless of if they are the football star or the brainy nerd. It could be anyone in school.” Other types of bullying include verbal, physical, emotional, sexual and cyber. Physical bullying tends to peak in middle school, while emotional bullying tends to be constant. Oftentimes, nonphysical abuse can have long-lasting, detrimental effects on children, Carden said. “Words are there forever,” she said. “Oftentimes, I know kids who say they would rather be hit than have something bad said to them. That bruise heals, but the inside doesn’t.” Nonphysical bullying can cause physical symptoms, including stomachaches, losing weight

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and self-harming, Carden said. Children also may want to avoid going to school, start spending more time in their rooms and not want to go places. According to PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center, almost 65 percent of children who are bullied don’t report it to an adult. “They may fear that it will get worse, that there will be retaliation,” Carden said. “Or that their parents won’t believe them. Fear that they will get their phone or access taken away.” Keeping communication lines open and asking open-ended questions are important, Clausen said. She recommends keeping a child involved in the resolution of the bullying, and that those actions will change as children grow up. Carden recommends parents don’t attempt to fix a situation while upset. “Don’t call the other parent very angry or go after the other kid very angry. It has to be addressed appropriately,” she said. “Take a minute to take it all in and calm down before you address the situation so it can be done in a responsible manor.”

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Carden recommends documenting incidences. “Keep records of what is occurring and contact the school after every incident. Talk to your kids,” she said. “Give them information about what actions you are going to take to address the situation. Be supportive. Ask open-ended questions to get them to tell you things.” Parents don’t want to think about the possibility that their child is bullying others, but it does happen, Carden said. “It can be very difficult because no one wants to believe that their child is the bully. It can be hurtful when you find out it’s your child. You have to handle it with love and compassion,” she said. “It’s a teachable moment to teach them a better way to treat people. It could be that they don’t have a clear understanding of what bullying is.” Although bullying still happens, many are taking steps in the right direction, Carden said. Students are protected against bullying under federal and state laws, and people are typically more aware of what’s happening. “I think awareness has increased ... I think I see a lot more kids standing up and being protective than I did when I was back in school,” she said. “The kids tend to want to protect each other more now because of that rise in awareness.”

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Kyleigh’s Gift swaddles newborns at Liberty Hospital Rodger and Leann Weller turned their heartbreak into a legacy for their infant daughter, Kyleigh, who passed away at birth in 2012. They founded Kyleigh’s Gift, which provides a free SleepSack to every baby born at Liberty Hospital. A SleepSack is a wearable microfleece blanket. It replaces loose blankets in the crib that can cover a baby’s face and interfere with breathing. In addition to helping babies sleep more safely, a SleepSack swaddles the baby tightly, keeping him or her safe and warm.

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“We wanted to do something to honor Kyleigh’s memory and the wonderful care we had received from the Liberty Hospital Birthing Center doctors, nurses and staff,” Rodger Weller said. “It brings us great joy to know that even though Kyleigh can’t be with us, in spirit she is making a difference in the life of every baby born at Liberty Hospital.” Since 2005, the American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested the use of wearable blankets. Using good sleep habits and a wearable blanket have been proven to prevent infant deaths from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and asphyxiation. Liberty Hospital Birthing Center Director Cathy Bonderer said providing the SleepSacks was a project she knew would make a difference for each baby’s life. “It encourages safe sleep habits and potentially has a positive impact for so many families in our community,” Bonderer said. — Liberty Hospital

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As part of the Weller family’s continued partnership with Liberty Hospital, the second annual Kyleigh’s Gift 5K Run/Walk will be on the trail at Liberty Hospital beginning at 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 10. To register or for more information about the Kyleigh’s Gift fund, go to www. libertyhospital foundation.org.

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Health center celebrates World Breastfeeding Week Sherry L. Payne, executive director, Uzazi Village; and breastfeeding mothers Sara Shahbazi and Elizabeth Reinsch. This year marked the 25th anniversary of the Innocenti Declaration 1990, which has been a guiding document for improving breastfeeding practices worldwide. “When the community comes together, we can make breastfeeding work,” said Julia Hladky, breastfeeding peer counselor at the Clay County Public Health Center in a press release. “We are glad to offer more support by celebrating World Breastfeeding Week and having our Breastfeeding Encouragement Group at the Health Center. Very soon, the public will be seeing life-size photos of proactive breastfeeding moms in our community.”

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In August, the Clay County Public Health Center held its third annual World Breastfeeding Week celebration. For this year’s event, the center partnered with Aetna Better Health of Missouri to offer a baby shower event for Women, Infants and Children clients and prenatal clients. More than 100 moms, dads, advocates and children took part in the celebration. Speakers included Allen Pettigrew, community development coordinator, Aetna; Karen Carmack, licensed massage therapist; Kathleen Welton, community development specialist, Clay County Public Health Center; Karmen Haney, dental hygienist educator, Clay County Public Health Center; Amy McGee, Cornerstones of Care’s Healthy Families; registered nurse

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Book Buzz: Finding their way back a sour-faced squirrel, a depressed bluebird and a scowling cloud. With ingenuity, and grace, Bernice turns their frowns around, resulting in a change of mood for the kitty. Thank goodness! Nobody wants to hang out with a sourpuss.

It happens — we occasionally lose our way — not on a path to the park or in the hall at school, but in dealing with the ups and downs of life. The characters in Newsbee’s September Picks are successful at “Finding Their Way Back.” Sometimes by happenstance, but often by acknowledging character defects. These picks are wise and wonderful.

The Day the Crayons

Bernice Gets Carried Away Everyone loves birthdays. Everyone but the grumpy kitty in “Bernice Gets Carried Away,” a sweet new book by Hannah E. Harrison, whose writing and illustrations are a gift to us all. It may have been Bernice’s birthday, but things aren’t going her way. Her party guests get a slice of cake with a “frosting rose,” while she’s stuck with “a plain white square from the middle.” Her friends also enjoy glasses of “ice-cold strawberry melon soda,” but Bernice has to settle for “prune-grapefruit.” It’s enough to make a kitten shudder in distaste. When rainbow balloons are distributed, Bernice rushes the bunch, determined to get her due. But that plan backfires, too. The balloons carry her skyward, past

Came Home Buzzers and Buzzettes are sure to recall Drew Daywalt’s debut, “The Day the Crayons Quit,” a previous Book Buzz Pick, illustrated by zany Oliver Jeffers. Color your world creative; the crayons are back in “The Day the Crayons Came Home.” This time around the crayons are scattered hither and thither, the result of carelessness on their owner’s part. Little Duncan has been irresponsible — left red crayon “marooned” to get sat on by dad; forgot to take orange and yellow inside and they’ve melted together, and neglected to pick up brown crayon, now stuck with carpet fuzz after the dog ate him and upchucked. The crayons’ sob stories go on and on in a collective collaboration of tragedies, leaving Duncan the hue of midnight blue. The boy rises to the occasion, however, and creates an artful refuge for his crayons, a creative fix they welcome, where “each crayon would always feel at home.”

Lost in the Sun Lisa Graff outdoes herself with “Lost in the Sun,” an endearing tale of friendship between a sixth-grade boy with a worrisome burden and a girl in his class with her own cross to bear, a scar extending nearly the length of her face. Joe is full of rage; the victim of circumstance, he blames himself for the accidental death of a boy in his class. Though Joe knows it wasn’t his fault, he can’t find an outlet for his feelings. He’s a loner and becomes a victim of bullying. Joe’s parents are divorced, and he punishes his dad by refusing to spend time with him and his new wife. Even their baby can’t melt Joe’s icy heart. One of three boys, Joe has a close

relationship with his mother, and she doesn’t give up on him. Neither does Joe’s new friend, Beth, the girl with the scar who creates wild stories to explain its origin. She and Joe have secrets and neither opens up to the other, instead they band together, form a movie club, meet for school lunches and watch each other’s backs. Because of Beth, and with attention from two special teachers, Joe makes an emotional comeback — but not without some bumps and bruises along the way. “Lost in the Sun’s” characters have depth, are neither good, nor bad, just human. This beautiful book has lots to say to people of all ages. — Reprinted with permission, Missourian Publishing Company. Copyright 2015.

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Ask An Expert: Teaching your teen to drive What tips or advice do you have for parents/guardians who are teaching a new driver what to do behind the wheel?

Dan Backhaus, owner and instructor of Liberty Driving School, responds

Teaching your teen to drive can be very challenging. As a Missouri Department of Education certified driving instructor, I have a few suggestions for you when starting out with your new driver. Find a big parking lot or neighborhood subdivision to drive in so that your teen can get used to the car and rolling down the road. Just being able to go straight for a while and not turn very much will get them comfortable with the wheel. When you venture out in to live traffic, be specific on your instructions. Have them obey all road signs and markings. When they take their driving test, they will be expected to do the same, so pay attention to detail (firm stops, go the speed limit, etc.). Be prepared to grip or help manage the wheel or firm it up to help them stay in their lane or not to overturn. The state of Missouri requires drivers under 18 to have 40 hours (30 daytime and 10 nighttime) of instructional driving as well as to have their permit for six months before they can get their license. Start out slow, drive where you feel comfortable. Once you get

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out of the parking lot and in daily traffic, make sure you let them drive as often as possible. Vehicle accidents are our teens’ No. 1 killer. Practice helps them to make better choices when we aren’t in the vehicle with them. If you’re too busy, cherish your car, need an insurance discount or can’t calm your nerves, driving lessons are a great idea.

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Closing pools just as important as opening By Corey Edwards Pool maintenance is important in the summer months. Skimming leaves, balancing chemicals and cleaning dirt collecting is a day-to-day fight to keep pools blue and beautiful. But according to Roger Land, owner of Pepper’s Pool and Spa on North Oak Trafficway in Kansas City, pool maintenance at the end of the summer is just as important. Land said that when closing a pool for the winter months, certain steps should be followed. “You should backwash your filter. You don’t want to close the (pool) with a dirty filter,� he said, adding, “You should balance your chemicals and drain the water down past the returns.� Draining the water and balancing the chemicals will help keep eukaryotic organisms from forming during the winter. “If you don’t (properly shut down your pool), you can get algae through the winter,� Land said. “When you open it up, your pool will not be clean. You have a better chance of opening your pool in the spring and have a clear pool if you balance your chemicals and shock your water with winter chemicals.�

Land added that getting rid of algae will cost money and additional time when reopening the pool. After draining the water to the returns, Land said pool owners should install plugs in the skimmer and multiple water returns in in-ground pools. “You have to blow out all your lines and add antifreeze,� Land said. “Then you have to put in all your winter plugs and what is called a gizmo, which is a plastic bottle that you put into your skimmer. Those plastics bottles are made of soft plastic. When it freezes, instead of cracking your skimmer, it squeezes the bottle and doesn’t crack your skimmer.� Putting the plugs in the returns keeps water from freezing inside the water lines. Lastly, Land said that there are multiple winter covers that can be used, including some with safety features for families with small children or pets. “You can walk right out on them,� Land said of safety covers. “A winter cover can be one that lays on top of the water and floats on top of the water and the sides are held on by water bags. A safety cover stretches tight across the pool and doesn’t touch the water and is spring-loaded like a trampoline.�

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