Northland Family - September 2016

Developing a healthy bite needs to start early September is Library Card Sign-up Month

September 2016 LIBERTY TRIBUNE THE KEARNEY COURIER GLADSTONE DISPATCH THE SMITHVILLE HERALD

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Library cards even easier to get with online registration

By Corey Edwards With the start of each school year comes many new students learning to read. September is Library Card Sign-up Month, and getting a library card has never been easier, thanks to both online registration and local sign-ups, according to the MidContinent Public Library website.

According to www.mymcpl. org, anyone who lives, works, owns property or goes to school within the Mid-Continent Public Library service area — Clay, Platte and Jackson counties, excluding the Kansas City School District and the municipality of North Kansas City — are eligible for a library card.

For those outside the district, there are still options.

“New out-of-district cards can be issued at any of our locations,” the library’s website says. “New out-ofdistrict cards will be issued only to Missouri or Kansas residents living outside the MCPL service area. You must be present to register for an out-of-district card. There is a fee of $55.00 (as of July 8, 2016) and the card is valid for one year. Cards about to expire or expired can be

renewed in person, by post office mail, phone or email.”

Most library cards expire every two years, allowing the library system to verify current contact information when renewing a card.

“If your card has expired recently or is about to expire, your card may be renewed by visiting any of our locations or by mail, phone, or email,” according to the library’s membership rules. “Please have your library card available if visiting a branch to renew, or if calling to renew. To renew by mail or email, please send the following information to your local branch location: name (first, middle and last); street address; city, state and ZIP code; telephone number; email address; date of birth; library card number.

“If your card expired more than 18 months ago, it will no longer be in our system and you will need to visit a branch location to reapply.”

Research cards for the library system’s Midwest Genealogy Center, 3440 S. Lee’s Summit Road in Independence, can also be obtained. There is a fee of $27.50, and the card is valid for six months.

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NORTHLAND FAMILY IS A SPECIAL SECTION PUBLISHED THE FIRST WEEK OF EACH MONTH BY LIBERTY TRIBUNE, THE KEARNEY COURIER, GLADSTONE DISPATCH AND THE SMITHVILLE HERALD, DIVISIONS OF NPG NEWSPAPERS, INC. MAILING ADDRESS: 104 N. MAIN ST., LIBERTY, MO 64068 ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: 816-781-4941

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Grandfather dedicates life to raising children

By Amanda Lubinski Editor’s Note: In honor of National Grandparent’s Day, this year on Sept. 11, Northland Family is highlighting one Northland grandparent who has dedicated his life to his children and grandchildren.

For Jimmie James, who has 22 children, 51, grandchildren and 46 great-grandchildren, raising a family and being around gaggles of youngsters is nothing new.

“I come from a large family. ... I have eight brothers and two sisters, and I’m the oldest of all of that,” he said.

In addition to raising his relatives, James has spent his life raising others’ children.

“I’ve been a licensed foster parent since 1990.

Of my 22 children, 10 are adopted. ... I’m a child growth and development specialist. I’ve worked all my life in day cares,” he said.

Through the YMCA, James owned a day care and worked with a youth organization for the NAACP. “I just love it. I get along better with children than I can you old folk. Old folks are too controversial.

Children, they just want to learn,” he said laughing.

“Children speak with periods, but old folks, they want to put a question mark on it.”

James, who retired from professional life in 2000, is still raising children privately. For the past several years it’s been two of his granddaughters. The young women are now ages 19 and 20.

“It’s been a 17-year ride now,” he said. “I adopted

the youngest one in 2001 and the oldest in 2010.”

James said since first starting his family, a lot has changed.

“Back when I was having all my children, I had a wife. Now, I’m single raising my grandchildren.

Before, I was always working to take care of the family and my wife was doing the things. Now, at this point, it’s more difficult. It’s a different life. ... The hardest part is having to do every damn thing yourself. Sometimes there’s just not enough time in the day,” he said with another laugh. “I used to joke with single parents when they’d come into the day care dropping their kids off complaining. I’d say, ‘C’mon, it ain’t that bad.’ Well, now I understand. I’ve learned to appreciate what it means to be a single parent.”

Being retired, James said, helps him raise his

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granddaughters.

“It’s rewarding because before, you’d go to work and then come home and see them do some things. But now, you get to really watch them grow and develop and do things, like go to prom,

and be there.”

The patriarch also gets aid and guidance from his relatives who live nearby and from the Northland Grandfamilies support group. Northland Grandfamilies offers two support groups

By the numbers 7.2 million — The number of grandparents whose grandchildren under age 18 were living with them in 2014.

2.6 million — The number of grandparents responsible for the basic needs of one or more grandchildren under age 18 living with them in 2014. Of these caregivers, 1.6 million were grandmothers and 1.0 million were grandfathers. $49,700 — The median income for families with grandparent householders responsible for grandchildren under age 18. Among these families, where a parent of the grandchildren was not present, the median income was $37,044.

3.1 million — The number of children in 2015 who were living with both of their grandparents, regardless of whether they were also living with their parents.

CONTRIBUTED PHOTO

— U.S. Census Bureau

Jimmie James is raising his granddaughters Patricia and Jasmine as a single grandparent in the Northland.

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in Clay and Platte counties. Grandparents or other relatives who are raising children 18 years old and younger are invited to attend the support groups, learn of resources in the community and share advice with one another.

“I do a lot with them,” he said of the grandfamilies group.

Although challenging at times, James said he wouldn’t trade raising his grandchildren for anything.

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“That’s my family, so these are my children. ...

Whenever you have a child, that title of parent never goes away. Whether it’s your children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren, you still have that title. ... You keep the family together. ...

It’s not always a smooth ride, but that’s your family.

Nobody raises your family like you. Family needs to be with family. We don’t separate from family, not in the James clan.”

A little history In 1970, Marian McQuade initiated a campaign to establish a day to honor grandparents. In 1978, President Jimmy Carter signed a federal proclamation, declaring the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. This day has been celebrated every year since to honor our nation’s grandparents. The U.S. Census Bureau compiled these statistics about their role in our society.

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Support for grandfamilies The Northland Grandfamilies Program provides support to grandparents or other relatives raising children 18 years old and younger. Meetings are held from 10 a.m. to noon on the second Wednesday of each month at North Cross United Methodist Church, 1321 NE Vivion Road, Kansas City; and from 6 to 7:30 p.m. on the fourth Monday of each month at Platte Woods United Methodist Church, 7310 NW Prairie View Road, Platte Woods.

A grandfamilies conference is offered annually.

This year’s conference will be Friday, Oct. 14, at Pleasant Valley Baptist Church in Liberty.

This year’s theme is “You Matter Too.” Exhibitors, workshops and panel discussions will be offered.

The conference is free of charge and includes morning refreshments and lunch.

To attend the meeting or to learn more about the upcoming conference, call the University of Missouri Extension Office at 407-3490.

Northland Grandfamilies is a cooperative program between Clay County Senior Services, the Platte County Senior Fund and the University of Missouri Extension Council in Clay County.

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Miscarriage experienced by many parents but still a taboo topic Editor’s note:

Nothing prepares a family for the loss of a pregnancy through miscarriage. This is part one in a two-part series on pregnancy and infant loss. This month’s focus is miscarriage. Next month will be stillbirth and death shortly after birth.

According to the March of Dimes, about 10 to 15 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Often, a miscarriage happens before the mother even knows she is pregnant, so that number could be even higher. Most happen in the first trimester, with only 1 to 5 percent occurring at 13 to 19 weeks gestation.

Jenna Robinson of Excelsior Springs has experienced two miscarriages.

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unspeakable “The loss of my son at 16 weeks was hard,” she said.“I couldn’t go to the store for fear I would see a pregnant woman and just break down into tears. I didn’t know the sex of the one I lost at nine weeks, but I felt like it would have been a girl.”

loss

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To help with her grief, she named both of her babies — Xavier and Rowyn. She’s not alone in processing her grief by naming her lost babies.

Heather Richardson of Kansas City and her husband, Aaron, named their baby, who they lost at 11 weeks.

“We refer to our baby as Rowan,” she said. “It helps to remind us how much we loved our child and how much he or she will forever be a part of our lives.”

She also noted that it’s not only a mother who grieves the loss, but the father, as well.

“He has been very strong for me,” she said. “But his heart was broken,

too. We wept together for an hour after we saw the empty ultrasound.”

Dan Schott, who lost a baby with his wife, Dana, in 2006 in the first trimester, said a dad must balance being strong for his wife while allowing himself time to mourn.

“I was in disbelief, but I wanted to make sure Dana knew that it was not her fault,” he said. “I found some time to cry by myself, and she found me and we cried together for a long time.”

In addition to the emotional loss, Heather said the mother’s body is experiencing a loss.

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overwhelming amount of hormones suddenly draining from her body, which can cause postpartum depression and other physiological changes,” said Heather, who experienced PPD. “Her milk may come in, and she has no baby to feed. She will feel very, very empty.”

The support of family and friends is critical, although it often is lacking.

“Women feel alone when going through this,” Jenna said. “No one talks about this. It is still taboo.”

That was the case for Peggy and Mike Cerny. In 1978, they lost a baby after 13 weeks.

“We cried many tears together,

but no one around us seemed to recognize the loss or how we felt,” Peggy said. “No one wanted to talk about it, and there were no cards or words of bereavement offered to us. It was our own sad loss to bear alone.”

The Liberty Hospital Birthing Center is aiming to help more families experiencing a miscarriage by offering memory boxes to save keepsakes and care packages with a candle, footprint pins and other small gifts. Liberty Hospital already offers bereavement resources for families experiencing an infant loss in The Birthing Center, but the program will be expanded to

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include other departments that treat patients for miscarriages, such as the emergency room and surgery.

The expansion will be funded by Kyleigh’s Gift through the Liberty Hospital Foundation. The Kyleigh’s Gift Fund was established by Rodger and Leann Weller after the loss of their infant daughter in 2012.

The pain never goes away, said Kimberlie Jones of Kansas City, who experienced a miscarriage at nine weeks in 1998.

“The pain will dull after a while,” she said. “But you will always remember.”

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Ceremony will be held at 6:30 p.m.

Saturday, Oct. 15, at the Liberty Hospital Walking Trail. Luminaria will be available for free. Arrive by 6 p.m. to have a luminary included with your baby’s name/information. The ceremony follows the Kyleigh’s Gift 5K/3K. You do not have to participate in the run/walk to participate in the remembrance ceremony. For more information, call 792-7014.

Part 2 of this story will appear in the October edition of Northland Family.

— Liberty Hospital

At a loss for words

Family and friends often feel uncomfortable talking about the loss of a baby through miscarriage for fear of upsetting the parent(s), according to Sarah Fleener, a social worker in the Liberty Hospital Birthing Center.

“Ignoring the loss is very isolating and can make the bereaved person feel alone and rejected,” she said. Instead, she suggests the following: ♦ Say, “I am sorry for your loss.” ♦ Say, “I don’t know what to say. I

can’t imagine what you are going through.” ♦ Let the mom and dad know they are loved and in your thoughts and prayers.

Comments to avoid include: ♦ “You weren’t pregnant very long, that must help.” ♦ “At least you can try again.” ♦ “You’ll get over it in time.”

For more resources on pregnancy and infant loss, go to The M0M Center in Kearney, www.stillbirthday. info/the-m0m-center; or Alexandra’s House in Kansas City, www. alexandrashouse.com.

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Coping right way important

By Dale Garrison Even Lauren Holley admits there are aspects to her work that still amaze her.

As a dual diagnosis treatment therapist for Tri-County Mental Health Services, Holley works with Northlanders who have been diagnosed with both a mental illness and substance abuse. Like many issues addressed at the community mental health center, dual diagnosis is surprisingly widespread, impacting everyone from high school athletes to older adults.

“It can be marijuana or alcohol,” she noted of the substance. “But today it may often be a high school football player with an injury or an older adult with a spine problem who gets hooked on pain pills.”

Although it’s tempting to judge substance abuse, those who fight mental illness often resort to substance use as a way to cope.

“This is a judgment-free zone,” she said. “One thing we do instead is work toward getting them to observe their feelings rather than avoid them.

Awareness is helpful for the healing process.”

Whether physical or emotional, pain is not something many deal with well.

“No one teaches us about emotions and pain,” Holley observed.

“Many often turn to substances to cope. That’s one reason it’s really neat when you see someone experiencing positive results.”

Holley brings her own perspective to the work. She earned a bachelor’s degree from William Jewell College and a master’s from Avila University.

A licensed professional counselor,

she previously worked four years with Tri-County as a caseworker before entering private practice. All of these viewpoints help her appreciate TriCounty’s range of services.

“When I was a caseworker, I thought I asked all the right questions,” she recalled. “But I was watching the Healthcare Home team, and I’m constantly impressed with how they catch things like neuropathy in someone’s feet because of diabetes.”

Other programs include weekly group therapy, case management, the outpatient CSTAR program and psychiatrists.

Holley lives in Brookside but has a strong Northland attachment besides Tri-County: she’s a native of Liberty and her father is William Jewell basketball coach Larry Holley.

“My dad is a coach, and my mom was a teacher,” she said.

That may also explain her draw to therapy. After earning her bachelor’s degree from Jewell, she worked for a while in sales.

“I was on a call and a customer needed help,” she recalled. “Of course, I helped, but then a light bulb went off. I’m supposed to be a therapist!”

Holley recounts this as a pivotal point in her life; she had finally found her calling.

But most of all, Holley wants to share a message for those who struggle with both substance abuse and mental health.

“Help is available and recovery is possible.”

For more information on Tri-County and its programs, visit www.tricountymhs.org or call 468-0400.

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Developing a healthy bite needs to start early cavities and the teeth are developing properly.

While first thoughts are often given “Oral hygiene is also critical,” he to height and weight measurements said, noting how parents need to work — and teething with their children when that time until they learn comes — oral proper teeth-cleanhygiene for young ing techniques.

While a recently released children should Along that same study from the federal be part of health line, Marx recomgovernment’s Health and assessments early mends parents limit Human Services seriously on. Parents should a child’s consumpquestioned the effectivenot wait until their tion of sticky candy ness of flossing, Dr. Marx is children are ready in particular, such still a strong proponent of for preschool or as caramels, and flossing, citing how it can kindergarten before noted how eating clean plaque from teeth, worrying about during mealtimes is which can prevent cavities. what’s going on better than having inside their mouths. a bedtime snack, “Children should as you produce see a dentist by more saliva when age 1,” said Dr. Robert Marx. “We’ll do eating a regular meal. a baby check and look at their develBeyond that, Marx said dentists will opment.” keep a close watch when a young The Northland dentist said the next patient’s permanent teeth start to check when the child is a toddler replace primary teeth, monitoring involves seeing that he or she has no potential teeth overcrowding.

By Mark Johnson

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“We can very easily see the spacing,” he said.

Marx noted that nearly all permanent teeth will usually be in by the time a child is 12 to 14 years old.

If the child participates in contact sports, the dentist is a strong propo-

nent of having the young athlete wear a quality mouth guard to provide proper protection.

Marx also recommends balanced diets and said sugarless gum is preferred for someone who wants to chew gum.

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Lice struggle can be reality, not stigma that education is key to bring about change,� Parker said. “The stigma September is National Head Lice associated with it revolves around Awareness Month. While the pesky poverty or a lack of bathing regularly. little wingless insects are a nuisance, However, that stigma can hurt an infestation is not a social stigma, because parents often don’t share said Cherie Parker of Lice Clinics of the news that a child has head America. lice. It’s a nuisance but not really “There’s such a stigma that if a harmful. Lice doesn’t have any health child gets lice, it’s this huge reflection ramifications, but the teasing can be on poor personal hygiene or lack of painful.� cleanliness in the home,� she said.

Head lice can cause a rash at the “That’s farthest from the truth. It’s nape of the neck, and the itching unfortunately something that happens. is a reaction to the lice, she said.

Kids are going back to school, and it’s Scratching can lead to an infection. simply an unfortunate issue.�

Parker, a nurse practitioner with a The national association, she said, master’s degree in nursing and a postwants to remind parents early on at master’s certificate in clinical research the beginning of the school year to management, and her sister Susan make people aware, especially those Truluck, an occupational therapist, with young school-aged children, that own Heartland Healthy Heads Lice head lice is here.

Removal and Resource Center. They “As part of our lessons, we know have two locations. The first is in

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Olathe, Kansas, and the newest is in the Northland at 6 Victory Dr. in Liberty. “The latest research just came out, and in 42 of the 48 lower states, head lice has become resistant to traditional over-the-counter treatments,â€? Parker said. “We participated in the research study and provided some the DNA to be looked at ‌ More than half the people who come see us have tried these products and have failed.â€?

The system they use is an FDAapproved air device that dehydrates the lice and eggs. AirAllĂŠ (formerly known as the LouseBuster) Treatment is a 30-minute heated-air treatment followed by a professional combout to remove all remnants of dead lice and nits. The process is “one and doneâ€? as patients come in for a treatment and a comb-out. This is the Shepherd Method of strand-by-strand nit removal by the Shepherd Institute

It pays to replace that

“Education is key,� Parker said. “It’s not about how much money you make or cleanliness. About 90 percent of the time lice is exchanged through hair-to-hair contact. These bugs don’t want to leave the hair, but it can be passed by coats or other sharing.�

The sisters also have developed Be Lice Free in Kansas City, a set of lessons to help with facts and to decrease the stigma. “It’s common and it is difficult to get rid of,� Parker said.

While lice doesn’t invest the home, wash bedding and clothing in hot water is recommended. “However, you don’t need to fumigate your home,� she said. “It’s an expense that is not needed. Disinfect combs and brushes. You can also place them in a baggie in the freezer overnight. Vacuum areas that person has been in and that helps, too.�

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